Solving the Mystery of TOD

 

By Elaine Viets

 Bowls of melting ice cream once helped solve a brutal murder. An entire family – father, mother and two small children – were shot to death at their dinner table. The neighbors heard a commotion and called the police.

When the police arrived, a death investigator determined that the family had finished their main meal, and the mother was dishing out ice cream when the family was shot.

The death investigator photographed the ice cream, and measured how far it had melted in the bowl. Then she bought the same brand of ice cream and timed how long it took for the ice cream to melt in the same type of bowl.

That gave the police a vital clue to the estimated time of death (TOD).

Estimated is the crucial word. It’s nearly impossible to determine the actual time of death, unless the person dies at a hospital or in front of witnesses.

I heard this story about the ice cream when I took the MedicoLegal Death Investigators Training Course, given by St. Louis University’s School of Medicine. I’m not a death investigator, but the course was helpful.

When you write your mystery, you don’t want your pathologist to check out a body just found in a field and announce, “The time of death was at seven-fifteen.”

The pathologist doesn’t know that.  There’s no way they can know for sure. There are too many variables, including these three:

Rigor mortis. A body stiffens, starting about two hours after death. Around 24 hours later, the rigidity starts to disappear.

Algor mortis. The dead body’s temperature decreases until it reaches room temperature.

Livor mortis. When the heart stops pumping, the blood settles and the skin turns dark. One way police can tell if a body has been moved is if it’s found face up, but there’s dark purple livor mortis on the chest.

Humidity, what the dead person is wearing, and the temperature are a few of the things that can affect the time of death.

Let’s say your victim is shot in their home. If it’s summer and the killer turns down the air conditioner, that can slow down the processes. In the winter, turning the furnace on high can speed things up.

Time of death calculators can help mystery writers estimate TOD. Here’s one: https://www.omnicalculator.com/health/time-of-death

If your novel has a person found dead in their home, here are some clues your investigator can use to determine their time of death:

Has the mail been taken in?

Are the curtains open or closed?

Are the lights on or off? In which rooms? This clue is less helpful now that some homes have door-activated lights that turn on automatically when the room door is opened.

Is anything cooking on the stove or in the oven?

What about the food in the fridge: Has the milk soured, the produce wilted, or the meat spoiled?

Are any food items on the counter? Butter? Ice cream? Is it melted? Is the bread moldy?

Can you still smell food cooking on the stove?

 

Pathologists will tell you that TOD is an art and a science. TOD is also German for “death,” but that’s another story.

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Book Lovers Special: MURDER BETWEEN THE COVERS, my Dead-End Job mystery set at Page Turners bookstore is 99 cents all month. https://www.amazon.com/Murder-Between-Covers-Dead-End-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B0D2R9NZ77

Jaws: Great Thriller Or
Just A Bucket Of Chum?

By PJ Parrish

So I got into an argument on Facebook the other day. No, not about that. It was over Jaws.

I posted something to the effect that I thought it was one of the greatest movies of all time. That prompted this response from a guy I came to call (in my head) Pencil-Neck:

“It isn’t even Spielberg’s best movie. It’s just commercial trash. Besides, the book is far better. You should read it.”

The gauntlet was thrown. Pencil-Neck didn’t have a chance.

Now, I admit I didn’t read Peter Benchley’s mega-seller when it came out in 1974.  Jaws was a huge success, the hardback sitting on the bestseller list for 44 weeks and the paperback selling millions. Steven Spielberg snatched up the rights a year later. You know the rest.

I finally did get around to reading the book — 35 years later. I had been invited by David Morell to write an essay for an anthology he was editing called Thrillers: 100 Must Reads, put out by the International Thriller Writers. All the good ones were taken by the time I got there — everything from Lee Child writing about Theseus and the Minotaur to Jefferey Deaver writing about Len Deighton’s The Ipcress File.  I chose Jaws because I think the shark ranks up there alongside Hannibal Lector as the greatest serial killer in all of fiction.

Then I read the book. Ah, geez. I was in trouble. The book was terrible.

I should have known just by looking at the cover. (I had to order a tattered used copy off Amazon). On the original cover, the killer fish looks like a toothless old dolphin. Compare that to the revised cover after the movie came out:

The original hardcover of "Jaws" vs. the paperback cover (that was used for the movie poster) : r/pics

This is one of those rare cases, I think, where the movie improved on the book. The critics in 1974 were brutal, taking Benchley to task for “lifeless characters,” “rubber-teeth plot” and “hollow pretentiousness.” The Village Voice sniped: “If there’s a trite turn to be made, Jaws will make it.”

Alas, all of it is true. The craftsmanship is bad-pulp level. The characters are corrugated cardboard.The plot is bogged down with cheesy subplots, eratz-Cheever class warfare, supernatural omens and some gin-fueled adultry (including a cringe-worthy groping scene between the police chief’s wife and Hooper in a booth at a seafood restaurant.)

Get this: The shark gets its own point of view.

Worse: Brody doesn’t kill the shark. It dies of its own wounds and sinks to the bottom of the sea.

Now, I recognize that novels are more expansive, that subplots contribute to enjoyment, and that organizing a story around a theme is good. For Benchley, the theme was that humans prey on each other by instinct and impulse like, well, sharks. The Brody-Ellen-Hooper love triangle is thus not a messy sub-plot but the point of the book. The shark is mere metaphor for human viciousness.

Sigh.

I also recognize that movies are a different kettle of fish, that plots must be streamlined, debris cleared away, and character inner-musings kept to a minimum. Spielberg’s movie is pure genius in this regard. He jettisoned all the subplots. And he conveyed character through dialogue and action. He transformed Benchley’s moody passive-aggressive Chief Brody into a classic Everyman warrior, swept up in Joseph Campbell’s monomyth of the hero’s journey.

And he blasts the hell out of the shark at the end.

So, what did I write about for that anthology? Pretty much what I’ve told you here. But I acknowledged that the shark is a terrific character, the best-rendered one in the book. Whenever he appears on the page, he pulls the narration along in his wake and diverts our attention from the tedious human dramas on land.

Second, the book tapped into a primal but believable fear. Benchley broke a barrier between fiction and non-fiction, giving us a predator stalking the real world (a benign beach no less!) but also emerging from a place of darkness and danger. Chief Brody is all of us when he thinks (in a passage that I do like):

In his dreams, deep water was populated by slimy savage things that rose from below and shredded his flesh, demons that cracked and moaned.

Lastly, it’s a helluva serial killer story. As one character says to Chief Brody in the book: “Sharks are like an ax murderer. People react to them with their guts.” (yeah, well, quite literally, right?)

Are there lessons to be learned here for us book writers? Sure. I use the movie Jaws as an example in plot workshops — see Powerpoint slide above. This is because Jaws is easy to digest for inexperienced writers who get lost at sea with plots or drift aimlessly trying to figure out character motivation. Here are just a couple things we can learn from Jaws — book vs movie.

  • Keep your subplots under control.
  • Don’t get preachy in your themes
  • Don’t whimp out with your ending and take the gun out of your hero’s hand.
  • Don’t write icky sex scenes set at the Red Lobster.

What’s the bottom line? What did I finally tell Pencil-Neck? I told him I stood by my assertion that Jaws is a great movie. I conceded the book had its good moments. That great thriller novels always pack a visceral punch and stay with us long after we’ve turned off the light. Benchley created the second most famous fish in fiction. Not too shabby.

Benchley gets the last word: “It’s nice being a little rich and a little famous. But dammit, I didn’t intend to rank with Melville.”

So, crime dogs…do you have your own examples of book vs movie? What did you learn from comparing books vs movies? And don’t get me started on The Bridges of Madison County.

 

Does Your Story Have a Full Circle Moment?

A full circle moment occurs when life provides clarity about the past.

The journey begins with an often harrowing event, we endure trials and tribulations along the way, then end up right where we started.

Only now, we have the wisdom of life experience and personal growth to view the past from a new perspective.

Have you experienced a full circle moment in your life?

I’m living one right now. As I mentioned before, I grew up in Massachusetts. When I moved to New Hampshire, I said I’d never return, that no one could pay me to live there again. And that remained my mindset for decades. But now, after a series of difficult personal experiences and a new, enlightened perspective, I plan to move back to Massachusetts. Everything about my decision feels right — it feels like I’ve finally found my way home.

If I were to write my life story one day, the jangle of the key in the lock of my new home would become a powerful full circle moment in the book.

A full circle moment completes the character arc.

Story Circle

Dan Harmon is the mastermind behind the Story Circle. Currently an executive producer at Rick and Morty, he also created and ran the NBC show Community. Dan consolidated Joseph Campbell’s classic Hero’s Journey from 17+ steps into a more contemporary set of 8, each with a punchy one-word descriptor that makes them easy to remember.

Please ignore my lame attempt at drawing a straight line with a mouse. 😀

click to enlarge

YOU: A compelling main character (YOU) has a problem.

NEED: YOU have a need.

YOU want something. YOU are not satisfied with a ho-hum lifestyle. Either this desire stems from an internal NEED before the inciting incident, or something or someone comes along to awaken the desire within YOU.

GO: YOU cross the threshold into an adventure.

YOU have packed your bags to search for a brighter tomorrow. Not only are YOU ready to GO but you’re going no matter what. No one can stop YOU. The NEED is too strong to ignore.

SEARCH: YOU find the answer to your problem.

Mission accomplished. Or is it?

YOU land in a new country and don’t speak the language, nor are YOU familiar with the culture.

Let’s see what YOU are made of. Will YOU adapt? Or fall apart? Perhaps a little of both.

FIND: Things are not how they appear.

This is a major threshold the character must cross, one that spins the story in a new direction. The protagonist has come this far. There’s no turning back. YOU must do everything within your power to fight to fulfill your NEED.

TAKE: But there’s always a price to pay.

How badly do YOU want it? This is where we see how steep of a price the protagonist is willing to pay to get what they NEED.

In this part of the story, the protagonist comes face-to-face with the villain and dangerously close to death, real or internal. The climax is the culmination of everything YOU have been fighting for since the beginning.

RETURN: After YOU slay the metaphorical (or real) dragon, YOU RETURN to the ordinary world.

YOU have fulfilled your NEED, defeated the villain, learned something about yourself, and are ready to RETURN home. In a romcom, it’s here where the hero races to the airport to prevent his soulmate from boarding the plane. In a thriller, the protagonist has defeated the villain and must RETURN home, even if there’s more danger in the near future.

CHANGE: The journey has changed YOU, for better or worse.

YOU are not the same person YOU were before. Are YOU wiser? Better prepared for the unexpected? Or more cautious, even paranoid? How has the journey changed YOU?

Wizard of Oz — Story Circle Example 

YOU: Dorothy is in the black-and-white world, dreaming (in song) about traveling over the rainbow rather than stay in Kansas.

NEED: A twister dumps Dorothy’s house in a colorful town square. No longer in a black-and-white world, she enters a land of technicolor and NEEDs to adapt to a new and unfamiliar place.

GO: When Dorothy first lands in Oz, she doesn’t know where she is or how she got there. Soon, she realizes she’s “over the rainbow” and her NEED now is to get home. The only way to do that is to journey to see the great and powerful Oz. She also must stay on the yellow brick road and watch out for the Wicked Witch of the West. But she must go. The NEED to GO home is too great. Dorothy begins her adventure.

SEARCH: With advice from Glinda, the Good Witch of the North*, and her ruby red slippers, Dorothy and Toto follow the yellow brick road toward the great unknown. For the first few steps, she literally focuses on putting one foot in front of the other until she moves farther down the road.

Along the way she encounters the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Lion. She also endures conflict and obstacles — facing her fears, traversing through the forest, and finding a way to meet the great and powerful Oz.

*In the original novel Glinda is the Good Witch of the South, but I used “North” from the 1939 film adaptation because it’s more well-known.

FIND: The Emerald City is finally within sight. Dorothy believes the field of poppies is a beautiful and faster way to get there. But all is not how it appears. To steal the ruby red slippers, the Wicked Witch of the West has placed a field of magical sleep-inducing poppies on the outskirts of the city, and Dorothy and Toto fall into a deep slumber.

This scene is a beautiful example of the fifth stage of the Story Circle that hints at the darkness that creeps within us all, even more so when we set out to make our dreams a reality.

TAKE: The Wicked Witch of the West sends her band of flying monkeys to bring Dorothy and her friends to the castle. But the flying monkeys can’t harm Dorothy because she wears the mark of the Good Witch of the North on her forehead. Dorothy is forced to choose between her magic slippers and Toto, whom the Wicked Witch threatens to drown if Dorothy refuses to comply.

When the Wicked Witch torches the Scarecrow, his straw is set on fire. Dorothy tosses a bucket of water to help her friend but also wets the Wicked Witch, who melts into a puddle on the floor.

Dorothy’s victory shows the reader/viewer she has the inner strength to complete her quest.

RETURN: Dorothy discovers the wizard is a fraud. But luckily, there’s still a way to get home. The answer has been on Dorothy’s feet the entire time. She clicks her heels three times and repeats, “There’s no place like home.”

CHANGE: Dorothy realizes her home and family are the most valuable treasures on earth. She’s no longer the dreamy girl who wishes to leave Kansas. She’s grateful for what she has and finds happiness in the simple things.

She is transformed. And it’s a powerful full circle moment.

Have you experienced a full circle moment in your life? Tell us about it. Or share your favorite full circle moment from a book or movie.

Are you familiar with the Story Circle? Pantser or plotter, it’s an easy way to test your character arc.

Thank you to all our military men and women for your service. Happy Veterans Day!

Please note: I’m on the road today, so I may not be available to respond to comments right away.

Four Dialogue Tips

by James Scott Bell
@jamesscottbell

I’ve always contended that sharpening your dialogue is the fastest way to improve any manuscript. I’ve heard editors and agents say they often take a submission and turn to a dialogue section. That’s because no matter how good the concept, flat, flabby, bland dialogue almost always means the writer is lacking in other areas.

Conversely, if your dialogue zings it demonstrates that you know what you’re doing and engenders trust in you as a writer.

Of course, this goes for readers, too. They love great dialogue. Provide it, and you’ll sell some books.

Here are four quick dialogue tips for your consideration:

Foreign Language

Sometimes you may have a character who has a foreign language as their primary tongue. My Romeo series takes place mostly in and around Los Angeles, so foreign tongues abound, especially Hispanic.

Certainly, you don’t want long blocks of foreign words, like this:

“Te lo digo, James Scott Bell es el mejor escritor de todos los tiempos. Si lees alguno de sus libros, lo sabrás. Mis favoritos personales son los libros de la serie de suspenso de Mike Romeo.”

For a short word or phrase, I’ll italicize it. If it’s a common word most people know, I don’t need to translate. Thus:

“Do you live here?” I said.

,” he said.

If it’s a longer line that requires translation, you can render it a few ways. Elmer Kelton in The Time it Never Rained, has this:

No me mate!” the voice pleaded. “Me rindo!” (“Don’t kill me! I surrender.”)

You can also use other characters:

No me mate!” the voice pleaded. “Me rindo!”

“What was that?” Smith said.

Jones said, “He saying he surrenders, don’t kill him.”

Or you can write:

He started rambling in Spanish. I caught a few words. It sounded like a surrender.

This is an area of the craft that had a lot of flexibility. The only “rule” is: Don’t confuse the reader. Eso es muy malo.

Interruptions

Fictional talk should have some tension or outright conflict. If a scene of yours seems to be dragging, try starting an argument. And have the characters interrupt each other.

In fiction, you show an interruption by use of the em-dash followed by a close quote. No period or other punctuation. You then immediately give us the other character’s quote. This is from Dashiell Hammet’s The Thin Man:

“Let’s go away,” she suggested. “Let’s go to Bermuda or Havana for a week or two, or back to the Coast.”

“I’d still have to tell the police some kind of story about that gun. And suppose it turns out to be the gun she was killed with? If they don’t know already they’re finding out.”

“Do you really think it is?”

“That’s guessing. We’ll go there for dinner tonight and—”

“We’ll do nothing of the kind. Have you gone completely nuts? If you want to see anybody, have them come here.”

When a character’s voice trails off, use ellipsis.

“I was wondering . . .”

I glanced at my watch. “Yes?”

“Hm?”

“What were you wondering?”

“Um, I forgot.”

Stylized Realism

In Debbie’s recent post about the Flathead River Writers Conference, I was fascinated by one of the questions a literary agent when considering a manuscript, to wit: Is the dialogue trying too hard to be realistic?

I think I know what she means. Sometimes a new writer will write dialogue that sounds like a transcript of an overheard conversation at Starbucks. If questioned about this, the writer might say, “But that’s how they’d really sound!”

This is a fundamental error. Dialogue in fiction should not be “pure” realism. It should be stylized realism for fictional purposes. The main purposes are to characterize the speaker and move the plot along. You want the sound of real speech without the fat or fluff that usually goes along with it.

Perhaps, too, the agent was indicating an aversion to the abundant cursing we often see on the page, in an attempt to reproduce what one hears on the street. Without understanding stylized realism, that attempt is more off-putting than attractive.

Does that mean you must have your gangbanger character say things like, “Oh, fudge. I’m going to muss you up, you foul stench.” Of course not. Watch some old Law and Order episodes to see how they manage stylized “hard” language. Or read Romeo’s Way, which has no curse words yet has a character who curses a blue streak. It can be done.

Action Beats and Said

A dialogue attribution has one simple job: to let the reader know who is speaking. Good old reliable said does that cleanly, efficiently, then politely leaves before causing any trouble. It can come after or before the dialogue:

“Come out to the car,” she said.

She said, “Come out to the car.”

In a longer line of dialogue, said can be placed in the middle:

“I think I’d better leave,” Millicent said, “before I lose my temper.”

An action beat is a nice, occasional substitute for said.

John pounded the table. “I will not have it!”

With a question, you can use said or asked:

“What shall we do?” Sarah said.

“What shall we do?” Sarah asked.

Whispered is also acceptable, as there’s no pithier way to express it.

If you feel the need to use a descriptive tag like growled or declared, etc., fine. Just don’t make a habit of it. You don’t want readers noticing all the attributions. I prefer letting the surrounding action and context make clear how something is said.

Some writers, under the erroneous impression that said is not creative enough, will strain to find ways not to use it for an entire book.

Big mistake. Action beats put the reader’s mind to work. In bits, that’s no problem. But an unending series of action beats has a wearying effect. The readers might not even realize why they are not enjoying the book as much as they thought they would.

That’s enough talk for one post. Now it’s your turn. Comments or questions welcome.

 

 

A Life Unremembered

I have this fascination with houses.

It might have originated with my grandparent’s old homestead. Peeling wallpaper, bare wire bulbs, and push-button switches, it was an old, old structure with no air conditioning, or plumbing for that matter, but it had a tin roof that thundered under a heavy deluge and huge double-hung windows that rippled in the evening light.

My grandparents moved from that one to a much smaller frame farmhouse with indoor plumbing and a window unit, but no functional kitchen sink until I installed one nearly twenty years later. That homestead still figures in some of the stories that flow from my fingertips.

But the one I want to discuss today was about two hundred yards from my grandparent’s place, slumped in the middle of a washout pasture. With nary a drop of paint on the outside, the nine-hundred square foot (and that’s a guess) house was abandoned probably ten years before I hit the ground.

I was told one an old bachelor uncle I never met was the last inhabitant, but he was an influence on my life, and ultimately, my writing. From the looks of the interior, he one day picked up, packed up what he wanted, and walked away, leaving a life unremembered.

When we were kids, my cousin and I often visited that former residence that could have been the set for a slasher movie. Four long-dead trees reached skeletal arms into the air not far from the structure. They’d provided shade when he lived there, and were likely planted by the long-forgotten builders.

Two others had fallen across what was once a main dirt road leading from Arthur City to Chicota, Texas, and had flanked the house. The state built a new creek bridge and re-routed what was to become Highway 197, leaving the old dirt trace to fade into obscurity.

Sad, because the house under discussion and another unpainted domicile belonging to my blind great-great aunt Becky faced that same track, as well as the Assembly of God Church.

NOTE: After the re-route, the men of that small community engineered a way to lift the church and turn it 45-degrees to face a different oil road. To me, fascinating.

I loved to visit that great-uncle’s house that smelled of dirt dauber’s nests and ancient mouse droppings. The door was gone, as well as the windows on either side, likely salvaged for another build somewhere, giving the illusion of a blank, wide-eyed expression of open-mouthed shock.

The porch sagged, and inside, the bare, warped floors undulated like the surface of the ocean,. The rusty sheet-iron roof bent and curled toward the sky, loose sheets creaking in the wind that was responsible for its eventual demise.

It had a kitchen with one counter and two holes in the surface to hold dishpans. The doorless cabinets still held dishes and bowls. Dust-covered utensils on crusted plates were evidence that he’d eaten and left. A rusty iron bedstead with a frazzled cotton mattress took up the lone bedroom floor. Straight-back wooden chairs with cane seats sat in the silent living room, roosts for birds that spend the nights there.

As adventurous kids, Cousin and I often crept through the dead house in silence, looking at the remnants of life. An old suit coat lay tossed in one corner, a bed for stray dogs or coyotes. A pair of work pants hung on a nail driven into the bedroom door where he left them.

After poking around without touching a thing, we always walked out onto the rotting porch to look toward the south. Two gullies extended from the yard at an angle of embrace. They would eventually erode all the way to the structure itself. One was full of tin cans, glass, and whatever refuse he had no use for. It was his version of a landfill.

I was grown and married the last time I visited the house. Defying the odds, it was still standing, though slumped and completely worn out. The pants still hung behind the door, thought the chewed coat was nothing more than a few fibers. A rat snake had taken up residence in the now floorless kitchen, and slithered away when I stood in the door and consider my own memories, and possibly what Uncle had seen.

It’s gone now, bulldozed over for a new build thrown up with little or no character.

That old house somehow took up space in my psyche, and I’d like to think it eventually had something to do with my college career in architecture.

It’s there in dreams, and daydreams, and I can’t tell you why.

It was a dead house that meant nothing to me, but somehow influenced my life and writing.

Is there some special thing or place that still haunts you, as this former home does me?

Reader Friday-Feeling A Bit Contrary?

Maybe I’m just an information-stunted writer, but here’s a new word for me. Maybe for you, too?

Contronym.

(BTW, it was new to the dictionary here at TKZ, too . . . I had to add it.) But I digress.

Fun, huh?

What’s a contronym, you ask. It’s those words common to the English language that “can have opposite or contradictory meanings”. I found a website with a list of 75 contronyms. And there’s a slew of other websites you can check out if you’re feeling a bit contradictory this beautiful Friday.

I took the liberty of downloading this quick list for you, just to give you an idea of how these words “work”. (I hope you can read it.)

One of the cautions noted on this website is that, as an author, if we use one of these special words in our writing we must be clear in the context which meaning should be applied. It could get a bit confusing, right?

For instance, consider the word “aught”. If your character slams his fist down on the desk and yells, “Aught was paid!” the reader will deduce nothing was paid. Without the slamming and yelling or other contextual details, your reader won’t know if all was paid or nothing was paid.

TKZers, have you ever heard of contronyms? And can you come up with your own? (Maybe after your second or third cuppa joe?)

 

There’s Always Writing Fodder

There’s Always Writing Fodder
Terry Odell

house burning I live in a rural mountain subdivision in Colorado. Last week, there was a house fire very near to my house. Firefighters (all volunteer here) showed up quickly and began their attack. The structure was too far gone to save, and the dried grasses which had grown quite tall due to a wet spring and summer, caught quickly. The wind, fortunately for us, was blowing everything in the opposite direction, but was pushing the fire into other subdivisions.

Things seemed all right, but the winds intensified the next day, with 50+ mile per hour gusts, and the Sheriff declared our entire subdivision under evacuation orders. The Hubster wasn’t in town, and after a brief discussion, we decided it was smart for me to follow the orders. I’d rather be packed up and leaving mid-day rather than discover the fire had shifted direction later that night, and was now coming our way. There’s only one road in and out of our subdivision, and the thought of dealing with leaving in the middle of the night didn’t appeal. Nor did being trapped. I have a son who lives not that far away, and he has a guestroom, so that’s where I went.

Although very little of our subdivision was affected, the higher ups decided to name the fire after it. Word spread through social media, and I had mixed feelings about being thankful for everyone who wanted to know how I was, and trying to reassure everyone I was fine, while trying to get everything that I needed to pack up so I could leave.

All in all, it was a “small” fire—under 200 acres. Seven hundred homes were at risk, but only that first one, where the fire started, was lost.

I was only gone for 24 hours, but it was a lesson in preparedness, and knowing what the essentials are should you have to leave in a hurry.

I posted a much more detailed accounting of my experiences on my own blog. If you’re interested, it’s here.

My heartfelt thanks to the first responders, and to our Sheriff who coordinated getting firefighters, law enforcement, air support, heavy equipment, and everything else that goes with fighting a fire mobilized quickly—and to use his terms—aggressively.

Of course, everything is writing fodder, and the circumstances surrounding this “event” opened a number of possibilities.

Our subdivision has a Facebook group, and there was—as might be expected—a lot of action. The house that burned to the ground was owned by a woman with a sketchy reputation in the hood. She had mental health issues, had a reputation for running cars off the road, pulling a gun or a knife, and had spent time in jail. The house was in foreclosure the day of the fire, and due to go up for auction in a couple of weeks.

Consensus seems to be that the (former) owner was responsible for the fire. An accident or deliberate? The case is still under investigation. Someone reported seeing her watching from the street as her house burned. Suspicious behavior or genuine concern?

Some residents offered extreme sympathy, pointing out that she was apologizing profusely, with abundant tears. She didn’t mean it, and it was a tragedy, and she should be forgiven.

Others spoke up that she should have been arrested on the spot. (She was detained, but released.)

Still others brought God into the picture, because the tall cross that was in the woman’s yard was spared. Was it divine intervention, or just located far enough away to not be burned?

The house in question was on one of my regular walking routes. What I saw was how close the fire had come to the three nearby houses. The yards surrounding them were charred. Had a gust of wind sent embers flying, those houses could have been destroyed as well. It was only because the firefighters arrived so quickly that they were able to keep those homes from burning, too.

view of houses spared by a fire

photos taken by a local resident.

 

Vocabulary word of the week: Mitigation

I wonder whether the residents of those homes would be on the ‘forgiveness’ side of the fence. And what about all the other homes in the other subdivisions that were threatened, whose owners had to evacuate in a hurry?

Even if I have no intention of writing a fire story (I already included several fire incidents in my Mapleton books), the human nature aspect offers plenty of character fodder. Then, there’s drawing on the emotional reactions, which can be incorporated in a variety of other situations.

What writing/character fodder do you see in these events, TKZers?


New! Find me at Substack with Writings and Wanderings

Double Intrigue
When your dream assignment turns into more than you bargained for
Cover of Double Intrigue, an International Romantic Suspense by Terry Odell Shalah Kennedy has dreams of becoming a senior travel advisor—one who actually gets to travel. Her big break comes when the agency’s “Golden Girl” is hospitalized and Shalah is sent on a Danube River cruise in her place. She’s the only advisor in the agency with a knowledge of photography, and she’s determined to get stunning images for the agency’s website.

Aleksy Jakes wants out. He’s been working for an unscrupulous taskmaster in Prague, and he’s had enough. When he spots one of his coworkers in a Prague hotel restaurant, he’s shocked to discover she’s not who he thought she was.

As Shalah and Aleksy cruise along the Danube, the simple excursion soon becomes an adventure neither of them imagined.

Like bang for your buck? I have a new Mapleton Bundle. Books 4, 5, and 6 for one low price.


Terry Odell is an award-winning author of Mystery and Romantic Suspense, although she prefers to think of them all as “Mysteries with Relationships.”

Greatest Hits from the 2024 Flathead River Writers Conference Part 2

by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Late Breaking News: This morning, I’m being interviewed by radio station KGEZ (Kalispell, Montana). To listen live, visit KGEZ.com and click at the top left side of the home page.  Pacific 8:10 a.m., Mountain 9:10 a.m., Central 10:10 a.m., Eastern 11:10 a.m.

Or you can listen later by scrolling down KGEZ’s home page to “In Case You Missed It.” 

~~~

Two weeks ago, I wrote about the inspiring Flathead River Writers Conference.  If you missed Part 1, here’s the link.

Today features more highlights from the other excellent speakers.

~~~

Maggie Doherty

Freelance writer Maggie Neal Doherty is a future thinker who knows how to take the initiative. When she realized the local newspaper had no female reporters, she pitched them with her qualifications and scored a regular op-ed column. She also initiated a new book review section at a time when many publications are cutting back on book reviews.

She specializes in finding unusual niches like “Duct Tape Diaries,” a publication by a major raft manufacturer that features articles about river rafting. With two small children, she came up with the quirky angle of waste disposal during family raft trips: “How I Got My Kids to Poop in a Bucket.”

Questions Maggie asks before querying editors:

  • What is the story? It’s not just the topic of the article but a compelling reason behind it.
  • Why is it important now?
  • Why are you the person to write it?

If the topic is “evergreen” (useable at any time), why is the story timely now?

Editors want to know you can deliver the story, meet deadlines, and write within the required word count.

Maggie’s strategy has resulted in credits in The Guardian, Washington Post, High Country News, LA Times, and more.

~~~

Keir Graff

Chicago-based Keir Graff had an enviable former career where he “got paid to read” as the senior editor of Booklist, the primary source for libraries when deciding which books to buy. Now he cowrites middle-grade mysteries with James Patterson, as well as adult and children’s fiction under his own name and with a coauthor under the name “Linda Keir.”

Keir revealed the secrets of a working writer, sharing the hard truth that few authors can survive on book sales alone. He cautions that “writing a book is like buying a lottery ticket that takes a year to fill out.”

He compares writing-related work to an investment portfolio. If you have only one income source and it dries up, you’re out of luck. If you diversify into related fields, like ghostwriting, editing, coaching, teaching, speaking appearances, etc., those other income sources take up the slack if book sales drop. Using a strategy of wearing many hats, Keir has forged a successful career.

While Keir gave straight talk about the challenges, he also offered encouraging, actionable tips to make a living as a writer, including:

  • Be the best writer you can be.
  • Leverage your expertise. Give talks about your areas of expertise, knowledge of a place, specialized abilities, etc.
  • Price yourself accordingly. Start low then increase fees as your experience and reputation expand. Ask clients and speaking venues, “What is your budget?”
  • Ask for help, advice, and introductions. Always be gracious if the answer is no.
  • In addition to writing, do five things every day. “Things” can be querying, promotion, outreach, networking, following up on queries, building platform, etc.
  • Set a goal. Once you achieve that goal, set a new one. Keep setting and achieving goals.

~~~

Zoe Howard

Zoe Howard is an associate literary agent with the Howland Agency and a literary publicist with Pine State Publicity. She walked us through DIY publicity angles for launching a book. She shared sample  questionnaires used by PR firms.

About the author:

  • Who are you?
  • Where are you from? If you moved, why?
  • How do you describe yourself to people?
  • What is your day job/work?
  • What gives you the ability to write this book at this time?
  • What interview questions would you like to be asked?

About the book being publicized:

  • What are one-word topics about this work?
  • What themes are you striving for?
  • What inspired this work?
  • What timely topics intersect with this work?
  • What research did you do?
  • How do you talk about the work with different people, e.g. friends, colleagues, your mom?
  • Who helped this book along the way?

What does publicity look like:

  • Reviews
  • Interviews
  • Events
  • Awards
  • Essays/excerpts
  • Momentum

~~~

Joanna MacKenzie

“Keep readers hungry but give them cookies,” advises literary agent Joanna MacKenzie of the Nelson Agency. IOW, make readers eager to find out what happens next but give them snacks in the form of hints that will pay off during the journey.

Joanna gave a shout out to TKZ alumnus Larry Brooks and his book Great Stories Don’t Write Themselves.

She offered a rare peek inside an agent’s head with 16 questions she asks when considering a manuscript.

  1. Is the writing good?
  2. Is there a market?
  3. Am I excited to turn the page?
  4. Am I confused?
  5. Is the premise unique?
  6. Is this the right point of view for the story/scene?
  7. Do I care about the character?
  8. Are there meaningful internalizations? Is there too much “show” and not enough “tell”? (Note: Refreshing to hear an agent break from conventional wisdom)
  9. Are there both internal and external arcs?
  10. Is there a sense of place?
  11. Is there a compelling conflict?
  12. Is the dialogue trying too hard to be realistic?
  13. Is it plausible?
  14. Is there a beginning, middle, and end?
  15. Does every scene move the plot and character forward?
  16. How much work are we going to have to do?

Digging into characters, Joanna says, “If the antagonist has time to lean, they have time to be mean. If they’re not doing anything, put them to work making life more difficult for the hero. Make sure every scene includes a shift in who has the upper hand.”

~~~

The criteria I often use for measuring a conference’s success is the level of interaction among attendees. Sometimes introverted writers are shy about talking with strangers or even admitting they write.

Not at this conference! Conversations were friendly and lively. People freely shared stories about their projects, struggles, successes, interests, and personal lives.

Old friendships were rekindled and new ones made. Business cards and emails were exchanged.

Exhilarating, energizing, and exhausting. You can’t ask for better than that.

~~~

TKZers: In your experience, what makes a successful conference? Want to give a shout out to your favorite?

~~~

Today is election day. Remember to vote.

~~~

For readers who like to hold a physical book in their hands, Debbie Burke’s new thriller Fruit of the Poisonous Tree is now in paperback as well as ebook! Sales link. 

Cover by Brian Hoffman

Literacy in America

“Once you learn to read, you will be forever free.”
— 
Frederick Douglass

* * *

A week or so ago, Reavis Wortham wrote a TKZ post entitled “Reader Under Construction” where he outlined the benefits of reading to young children. The comments revealed how many of us remember our first experiences with reading and the joy of reading to others.

The photos of Reavis’s grandchildren made me think how fortunate children are who have parents and grandparents who read to them and encourage them to read for themselves. Not everyone is so lucky.

* * *

THE GOOD NEWS

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more you learn, the more places you’ll go.” – Dr. Seuss

Those of us who frequent the pages of the Kill Zone Blog are well aware of the profound benefits of reading. We remember the excitement that came with learning to read and the many hours of our youth spent with characters like Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys.

Some of us were drawn to writing from the books we read. I’m going to guess that *none* of us can imagine our lives without being able to read.

But reading is more than enjoying a good story or educating oneself. It actually transforms the brain and makes the reader smarter, healthier, better organized, and more likely to make wise decisions in life.

MORE GOOD NEWS

“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.” – Richard Steele

According to an article at the Mather Hospital website:

Regular reading improves your brain power and memory function by giving your brain a workout . It may help to slow the process of natural memory and brain function decline that comes with age. According to neuroscientists at Emory University in Atlanta, “reading a gripping novel makes changes in the way the brain connects with different circuits.”

* * *

NOW FOR THE BAD NEWS

After reading Reavis’s post, I was inspired to look up the data on literacy in America. Here’s what I found.

Although the U.S. spends an average of a whopping $17,280 per pupil annually to fund K-12 public education, the National Literacy Institute reports 21% of adults in the US are illiterate in 2024.

To expand on what this means, a Wikipedia page on Illiteracy in America states

Adults in this range have difficulty using or understanding print materials. Those on the higher end of this category can perform simple tasks based on the information they read, but adults below Level 1 may only understand very basic vocabulary or be functionally illiterate.

In addition to the large numbers of illiterate Americans, the National Literacy Institute also reports 54% of adults have a literacy below a 6th-grade level.

Furthermore, thewearyeducator.com site reports on the impacts of illiteracy:

  • 43% of adults at Level 1 literacy skills live in poverty
  • 85% of juveniles who interact with the juvenile court system are functionally illiterate
  • More than 60% of all prison inmates are functionally illiterate
  • Low literacy costs $73 million per year in direct health care costs

I could go on, but you get the message.

* * *

So, how can we as authors help combat the harmful effects of illiteracy? Writing good books that people want to read is one obvious answer. I like to think mystery novels not only entertain, but also challenge the reader to figure out who committed the crime, thereby improving the reader’s problem-solving skills. Stories that emphasize themes of justice and honesty are welcome messages in our often cynical world.

But can we do more?

* * *

“Books can be dangerous. The best ones should be labelled ‘This could change your life.'” —Helen Exley

So TKZers: What are your thoughts about the problem of illiteracy in our country? Any ideas on how we can help overcome it?

 

“Books and doors are the same thing. You open them, and you go through into another world.” —Jeanette Winterson

Fly with private pilot Cassie Deakin and enter a world of mystery.

Available at  AmazonBarnes & NobleKoboGoogle Play, or Apple Books.

What Writers Can Learn From Now, Voyager

by James Scott Bell
@jamesscottbell

A case can be made that the greatest movie star of all time, the GOAT if you will, is Bette Davis. In a career spanning 50 years she never gave a bad performance, even in guest roles on TV shows like Gunsmoke and Wagon Train. That’s because acting was her life and she never wanted to give the audience short shrift.

She’ll forever be known for one of the few truly iconic performances in the movies, along the lines of Bogart in Casablanca, Gable in Gone With the Wind, and Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire. That is the role of Margot Channing in All About Eve. (“Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.”)

Today I want to bring up a classic Davis “woman’s picture” (as they were called in WWII, to cater to all the women whose men were off fighting a war), Now, Voyager. As always, I encourage you to watch it, then refer back to these notes for craft study.

The plot concerns Charlotte Vale, the dowdy daughter of a rich, domineering Boston matriarch. She’s been driven to neuroses by her mother, who long ago decided Charlotte was too ugly and untalented to flourish in society.

**Spoilers Ahead**

Sympathy for the Lead

The first task of the writer is to get the reader connected to a Lead character. There is no plot without character; there is also no character without plot. A plot is the record of how a character, through strength of will, struggles against death (physical, professional, or psychological). Thus, the death struggle reveals the true character underneath.

When the Lead is an underdog, facing hardship and long odds, we get the sympathy factor. That is the emotional connection that bonds reader and character and makes the reader want to follow the story to see how it all turns out.

Disturbance

Don’t waste precious fiction real estate by having a character on page 1 just sitting around, thinking or feeling or flashbacking. Stir the waters somehow. Portend trouble.

At the beginning of Now, Voyager, we meet the homely, timid Charlotte Vale. She is in the final stages of a nervous breakdown, though her haughty mother (Gladys Cooper) is in denial about it.

Charlotte is contrasted with her niece June—a rich, pretty, outgoing social butterfly (Bonita Granville). June’s mother Lisa (Ilka Chase) has asked her psychiatrist, Dr. Jaquith (Claude Raines) to come to the Vale home for tea. When June teases Charlotte mercilessly, Charlotte loses it, lashes out, runs upstairs. Dr. Jaquith tells them Charlotte needs to spend a few weeks at his sanitarium in the mountains.

The rest gets Charlotte to a point where Dr. Jaquith believes she’s ready to take a step of faith (in herself; psychological death is at stake here. Will Charlotte ever become a new and better self? Or will she remain the “dead” daughter of a heartless mother?)

Dr. Jaquith approves Lisa’s idea that Charlotte take an ocean cruise. He gives her a book of Whitman poetry in which he has inscribed the line Now voyager, sail thou forth to seek and find.

Thus, in introducing your Lead, consider:

Imminent Trouble. If there is a physical or emotional threat happening during the opening, readers are immediately drawn in. Certainly Charlotte is suffering emotional threat.

Hardship. What physical or psychological hardship might your character suffer from? This should be something not of their own making. Charlotte has been a true victim all her life.

Underdog. Readers love underdogs. How might your character face long odds? Charlotte’s age, profile and home life are not promising for a personality makeover.

Vulnerability. When Charlotte goes on the cruise, we know she is emotionally vulnerable. The slightest misstep could send her back to the sanitarium.

Indeed, a misstep like that is about to happen to Charlotte on the ship, until…

Doorway of No Return 

At the ¼ mark of the film, a handsome man unobtrusively helps Charlotte out of an embarrassing situation. The man is Jerry Durrance (Paul Henreid, who played Victor Laszlo in Casablanca). This is the emotional Doorway that sets the rest of the plot in motion—they fall in love.

Unfortunately, Jerry is married. There’s your plot.

They know they must part. At the final goodbye on the ship, Jerry gives Charlotte a bouquet of camellias to remember him by.

The Mirror Moment

What is this movie really all about? What is your novel really all about? You can find (or construct) the answer with the “mirror moment.”

Charlotte finally comes home to face her mother. And boy, does the mother try to smash Charlotte right back to where she was before.

This is the mirror moment for Charlotte. It’s where it should be, at the exact halfway point of the movie. She is thinking, Can I possibly stand up to my mother for the first time? If the past is any indication, I’m probably going to die (psychologically). Must I go back to being the old Charlotte again?

If only there was something to give her the courage to stand up for herself. Often, this courage is inspired by a physical item introduced earlier in the story, carrying with it emotional power. Like this:

Camellias! This emotional memory is enough to give Charlotte the courage to stand up to her mother. (And did you notice the actual mirror in the scene?)

Can Charlotte complete the transformation? What about Jerry and his unhappy marriage? What about the counter-attack by her mother?

Well…watch the movie! Treat yourself to one of the great film performances.

And you, writer, like Charlotte, take a step of faith with your writing. Stretch. Risk. This epigraph is meant for you, too: Now voyager, sail thou forth to seek and find.

Comments and questions welcome.

One other note about Bette Davis. Like Bogart, you’ll almost always find her smoking her way through a movie. But here’s the difference. Davis always puffs on her cigarette in a way that is in keeping with emotional tone of the scene. It’s actually a wonder to behold, the way she uses what other actors treat as a throwaway prop. That’s why she is the GOAT.