Tag Archives: #WritingCommunity

Reader Friday-Let’s Go Adventuring!

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Good Friday morning! Let’s talk adventuring…

Way back in 2007, I took a trip to Vietnam—by the way, never go to Vietnam in July—with a medical mission team comprised of about a hundred people of varying ages.

I’d never been out of the country before except for a quick trip to a small town just south of the border when I was in college in LA.

In Vietnam, my job was working in the medical labs we set up in various places to bring needed care to the locals. Hundreds of people walked to our locations to see a doctor, sometimes carrying their children and their elderly.

 

The trip changed me. Let’s just say I was glad to arrive back home (where there are no spiders as big as my hand), but I’ve never forgotten the sights, sounds, and smells. One thing I particularly remember was the light-up-the-room smiles on faces even in the midst of intense suffering. Amazing!

TKZers—what is the best adventure you’ve ever had? And how did it change you?

 

 

The Science Behind Deep Breathing

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Last night, I was listening to Sleepy Science on YouTube, like I often do. The episode focused on deep breathing and why it works. Because I’m a long-time practitioner of deep breathing and mediation, this subject piqued my interest. We all know deep breathing relaxes us. We’ve discussed the benefits a few times on TKZ.

For example, deep breathing:

  • Reduces stress: Slow breaths trigger the parasympathetic nervous system, lowering stress hormone levels like cortisol.
  • Eases anxiety: Controlled breathing calms panic and depressive symptoms by promoting a sense of safety and calm.
  • Improves focus: Better oxygen flow to the brain clears brain fog and sharpens concentration.
  • Promotes sleep: Deep relaxation before bed helps quiet the mind and supports restorative sleep cycles. This works, by the way. I do it every night before bed.
  • Lowers blood pressure: Deep, rhythmic breathing relaxes blood vessels to ease the heart’s workload.
  • Optimizes oxygen exchange: Belly breathing helps your lungs trade incoming oxygen for outgoing carbon dioxide more efficiently.
  • Relieves pain and tension: Deep breathing releases muscle tension and minimizes pain. Speaking as a chronic pain sufferer, I know this to be true.
  • Strengthens respiratory muscles: Diaphragmatic breathing trains your respiratory system to function with greater endurance and ease.

All those health benefits stem from triggering a single nerve in our body. Seems unfathomable, doesn’t it? But it’s true.

What is this nerve and its function?

The Vagus Nerve

Photo credit: https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/vagusnerve

The vagus nerve is the body’s main communication cable connecting the brain to major internal organs. It carries signals from your organs back to your brain, and from your brain out to your organs.

Vagus means “wandering” in Latin, and that’s exactly what it does. Actually, we have two, one for the left-side of our body, one for the right.

The vagus nerve starts at the base of the brain in an area called the medulla oblongata, which controls survival instincts, like breathing. The vagus nerve leaves the brain through a tiny hole in the bottom of the skull — called the jugular foramen — and runs down both sides of the neck, tucked inside a protective bundle of tissue beside major blood vessels, like the carotid artery and jugular vein.

On its way, it sends out small branches to the throat, voice box (larynx), and pharynx, helping us to swallow and speak.

From there, the vagus nerve passes behind the collarbone and enters the chest cavity, where it plugs into the heart to act as a natural brake system to slow our heart rate at rest. The vagus nerve then branches out into the lungs to manage breathing and contract airways.

The left and right vagus nerves merge as they pass through the diaphragm, located at the base of the ribcage below the lungs, and enters the abdominal cavity.

This is where the nerve spreads like a massive spider web, connecting to almost every part of the digestive tract, including the stomach, liver, pancreas, gallbladder, small intestine, and most of the large intestine. It tells these organs to release digestive fluids to move food along.

What an incredible journey!

According to the Poly Vagal Institute, that’s not all it does.

  • Through its coordination with facial nerves, the vagus supports expressive communication.
  • As a key component of the parasympathetic nervous system, the vagus modulates the body’s stress response.
  • The vagus nerve contributes to speech by modulating vocal cord function and coordinating with respiratory rhythms, in concert with other cranial and cortical systems.
  • The vagus nerve plays a key role in modulating immune function through what is known as the inflammatory reflex. It inhibits the release of pro-inflammatory cytokines from immune cells.

The science behind deep breathing lies in a biological loop between the heart, the lungs, and the brain.

When we change how we breathe, we manipulate physical pressure inside our chest, which tricks the brain into shifting from “fight-or-flight” to “rest-and-digest” mode. The main action boils down to two main scientific concepts — biomechanical pressure and chemical signals.

In a nutshell, deep breathing causes a chain reaction.

The vagus nerve doesn’t just read thoughts; it responds to physical movement and pressure.

Anyone who practices deep breathing knows the exhale is more beneficial than the inhale.

Do you know why? I thought I did, until I researched the vagus nerve.

When we inhale, our diaphragm moves down to create more space in the chest cavity. This pressure change allows blood to rush into the heart more easily, causing our heart rate to momentarily race.

When we exhale, our diaphragm rises and compresses the chest cavity. This compression shifts blood out of the heart, temporarily raising blood pressure within the local vessels.

Specialized pressure sensors (baroreceptors) on our major arteries detect this sudden pressure shift and send an urgent signal to the brainstem that says, “Blood pressure is too high—slow down!”

In response, the brain fires a signal to the vagus nerve. The vagus releases a neurotransmitter called acetylcholine directly onto the heart. Acetylcholine acts like a physical brake pedal, instantly slowing our heart rate and dropping our blood pressure.

The Secret Sauce

The secret to stimulating the vagus nerve is to prolong the exhale.

Because the vagus nerve is actively applying the “brake” when we exhale, a slower, longer exhale keeps the calming chemical signal flowing.

Ever have a panic attack?

The reason why it feels like you’re dying is because quick, shallow breaths keep your body locked into sympathetic (stress) dominance. The best way out of a panic attack is to inhale deeply, hold for a second or two, then exhale as slow as possible until you’ve completely emptied your lungs. Rinse and repeat.

Other ways to stimulate the vagus nerve:

  • Getting restful sleep (deep breathing helps with this)
  • Sunlight exposure (please use sunblock)
  • Gargling & gag reflex (I’m addicted to mouthwash LOL)
  • Daily movement & exercise (writers, you must get up and move!)
  • Humming, chanting, and singing (during meditation or household chores)
  • Laughter & social connection (as an introvert, I’ll stick to laughter & one close friend)
  • Cold exposure (this also promotes anti-aging)
  • Yoga & meditation (yes, indeed)

Why share this on a writing blog?

Because I adore you and want you to live your best possible life. <3 Deep breathing also promotes focus, concentration, and creativity.

TKZers, how do you stimulate your vagus nerve daily?

Reader Friday-Where Were You 25 Years Ago?

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I’m sure this question has been asked before. (Just like, “Where were you when you heard JFK was assassinated?”)

Where were you and what were you doing on 9/11/2001, when you heard about the attack on America in NYC, Virginia, and Pennsylvania?

I was at work as an orthopedic medical assistant. The entire staff and a few patients were huddled around a TV in one of the offices.

Seeing those images changed us forever.

So, TKZers, your turn. Where were you on 9/11/2001?

 

 

Why Should I Include Trigger Warnings?

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If I listed everything that may or may not upset a reader, it’d ruin the plot of my books. Trigger warnings might be helpful in genres geared toward children, but it’s ludicrous to think all genres should include them. If murder upsets you, good! The psychological thriller did its job. If you only want feel-good stories, maybe you shouldn’t read thrillers, horror, true crime, dark romance, or any other genre that veers into similar territories.

To expect a psychological thriller author to tell you in advance what may or may not cause you—a stranger—emotional distress, is absurd. It’d be a helluva lot easier for authors who write cozy-esque thrillers to say that, rather than force all thriller writers to predict what scenes may or may not upset a reader. Especially nowadays, when everyone seems overly sensitive.

In the real world, life is messy, violent, complicated, and too many nice guys finish last. Did the OBGYN stamp that warning on our wrists at birth? No. Why? Besides the obvious, it’s impossible to tell what a newborn might experience in their life. How, then, are we supposed to predict how a reader may or may not feel?

Also, the faceless, nameless “they” want us to include warnings for mere mentions of a triggering subject, even if it never occurs on the page. What??? Not only do we have to guess which subjects may or may not upset a current or future reader but now, we need to forewarn the mere mention of it, as well?

When do people start taking accountability for themselves?

We didn’t force anyone to buy our books. Thrillers often use an ominous cover and description. Is it our fault the sensitive reader ignored both cues?

I got fired up about this issue after a friend loaned his neighbor a signed copy of Merciless Mayhem. Eighteen months later, she finally returned it, but not before she cursed him out for not warning her of the content. There’s a skull on the cover! The water is blood red! What kind of novel did she think it was? Did she not read the description in eighteen months? Gimme a break. Some people are too quick to place blame anywhere but at themselves.

Another Example:

In my debut novel, MARRED, the protagonist is a rape survivor. I never showed the rape, and the story takes place three years later.

Does that mean a warning of “rape” should be included? Since it’s a series, should that same warning continue for all five books?

Thankfully, TWs weren’t “a thing” when it debuted, but my publisher and I still discussed it. Because I never showed the rape, neither of us considered it a problem, nor did any of my readers, judging by the reviews. I did, however, hear from more than one rape survivor who praised my book for showing what the act of rape does to a person ie., psychological damage and/or residual aftereffects, like obsessively showering or the need for order and/or control in their lives. They all said the book helped them to realize they’re reactions were common in rape survivors.

If MARRED had a TW of “rape” listed, none of those women would’ve read the book that helped them to move forward. Rubs against the argument to include TWs, doesn’t it?

If you still believe trigger warnings in books help trauma survivors, check out this scientific study’s conclusion with even more studies linked to conduct your own research:

Public arguments regarding trigger warnings have been politically charged, complex, and data-poor. Recent research on trigger warnings can importantly inform or perhaps even settle some of these debates. The research suggests that trigger warnings are unhelpful for trauma survivors, college students, trauma-naïve individuals, and mixed groups of participants (Bellet et al., 2018, 2020; Bridgland et al., 2019; Sanson et al., 2019).

The highlights of the 2018 empirical study:

Trigger warnings increase peoples’ perceived emotional vulnerability to trauma.
Trigger warnings increase peoples’ belief that trauma survivors are vulnerable.
Trigger warnings increase anxiety to written material perceived as harmful.

The 2020 Helping or Harming study acknowledges in its conclusions:

Trauma survivors (N = 451) were randomly assigned to either receive or not to receive trigger warnings before reading passages from world literature. We found no evidence that trigger warnings were helpful for trauma survivors, for participants who self-reported a posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) diagnosis, or for participants who qualified for probable PTSD, even when survivors’ trauma matched the passages’ content.

Trigger warnings can get ridiculous. This extensive list includes but is not limited to:

  • alcohol
  • divorce
  • cheating
  • car accident
  • death
  • bones
  • fire
  • gun violence
  • infertility
  • murder
  • attempted murder
  • pregnancy
  • profanity
  • religion
  • miscarriages
  • snakes
  • spiders
  • needles
  • terminal illness
  • anxiety
  • violence
  • hospitalization
  • childbirth
  • Harry Potter references
  • infertility

Keep in mind, we can’t even mention any of these without including a warning in advance.

Are. They. Serious? We’re expected to add a TW if a character drinks alcohol? The author isn’t forcing the reader to drink alcohol against their will.

Similar articles claim all authors have a “moral obligation to warn readers of all possible triggers.” No offense to younger generations, but many are offended by subjects that GenXers or Baby Boomers wouldn’t even recognize as problematic.

One trigger warning listed above is “divorce.” Does that mean if the book contains a divorced character, or the mention of someone divorcing, even in the past, we need to warn readers? What’s upsetting about a divorced character? Sure, divorce sucks to endure in real life, but how much emotional distress does a divorced character cause in readers? If the character never gets remarried—or does, but that still doesn’t erase their prior divorce—are all the books in the series doomed to wear that warning label? According to some readers, they say yes.

What part of fiction don’t they understand?

Why can’t a potential reader gain the same insight from the genre, description, and cover? Why is it our responsibility to guess what may or may not upset some readers?

Or—here’s a thought—maybe sensitive readers should stick with cozy beach reads with cute covers. Why choose a psychological thriller with an ominous cover and description, and then force the author to guess what may or may not “trigger” you?

It’s ridiculous! And so is the overused word “trigger.”

Thriller author Jay Darkmoore explains the difference between being triggered and feeling upset, offended, or sad:

The word triggered comes from psychology. It means to be triggered into a PTSD emotional flashback, to the point where something – an event, like combat and war – happened, and you are transported back to that situation and how you felt at the time. It means that your body reacts and your hormones spike. It means that you begin to shake, to run, to fight. You lose control of yourself because the stimulus has ‘triggered’ significant trauma. It hasn’t just upset or offended you. Being offended is a choice. Remember that. You CHOOSE to be offended and you CHOOSE to be angry.

You do not choose to be triggered. Stop saying being angry is the same as being triggered. They are worlds apart, and it’s very, very disrespectful to actual sufferers of PTSD and trauma to say you got triggered because you read about a bad thing happening that made you feel sad [or upset].  

 

Sensitive readers have no business venturing into the horror or psychological thriller aisles. Psychological thrillers should cause emotional distress. It’s right there in the genre title. And horror, well, it’s horrific.

One author complained about Stephen King causing her emotional distress. Um, yeah, that’s his job.

C’mon, folks. Take some responsibility for yourself.

Real Life does not forewarn us… of anything.

Y’know what I do when I stumble across a subject that isn’t my cup o’ tea? I close the book. Yes, it’s that simple. Close. The. Book. Move on with your life. You’re not its intended audience. And that’s okay. Books are not meant to be one-size-fits-all. Reading tastes are subjective. Isn’t that great? I think so.

I, for one, will never include trigger warnings (unless a publisher demands it). If a reader can’t tell my books may delve into uncomfortable subject matters — a pre-requisite for psychological thrillers, environmental thrillers, and true crime — that’s not my problem. The covers, descriptions, and genre should be enough for readers to make an informed decision.

How do you feel about trigger warnings? Let’s discuss.

Linked to Amazon

<–  This is the cover she thought would be a sweet, feel-good story.

Key “warnings” in the description are in bold:

Shawnee and Mayhem continue to wreak havoc on the Killzme Corporation—the largest animal trafficking ring in the country—by killing one poacher at a time. 

Meanwhile, the traffickers set their sights on capturing Orca for profit and pleasure.

With a ticking clock and no place left to hide, Shawnee and Mayhem alternate between undercover surveillance and clandestine battles to save their loved ones and the Innocent Ones from Killzme’s evil plans.

Skills are tested. Tenuous alliances formed. Not everyone will make it out alive.

Set in a world of cultural wonder, environmental threats, and looming danger, this heart-stopping eco-thriller will have you glued to the page from the first sentence to the last.

Writing a Novel is Like Building a Chicken Coop

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I spent the last nine days on vacation. Well, a “staycation” filled with manual labor in severe heat and humidity. Yes, I’m getting too old for this crap, but there is a silver lining — I never need to build another chicken coop! We built this one to withstand anything New England weather can throw at us.

As I’ve mentioned a time or two, I’m a mother to 17 chickens (among other furred, feathered, or skinned kids). In my last update, I had six adult hens and 11 female chicks, who lived in a temporary nursery coop in my house. When they grew big enough to transition into another temporary coop inside the barn, we knew we only had about three weeks before they needed to be integrated into the adult flock.

As an overprotective mom, it’s nerve-wracking and emotional to release the apron strings (they may have stayed in the house two extra weeks because of this), but the babies needed to learn the ins and outs of chicken society and hierarchy on their own. It’s something their father and I can’t provide. They must learn these life lessons from older and bigger flock members.

Thankfully, the flock leader is Flo, an angelic white brahma with a visible glowing aura.

click to enlarge

Ever seen anything like her? We haven’t, nor do we know why she glows.

Who else would be queen? Flo’s been a born leader since she was two days old. She’s strict — no one messes with Flo — and loving and fair. No unnecessary bullying allowed, but a good, hard peck here and there to keep the younglings in line is part of life. You might remember Biff, her 2nd in command and the muscle for the flock, from this post.

Though the adults have a coop inside the barn, they only had a temporary pen set up in the yard. We did this on purpose until the babies could integrate into the flock, or the adults might’ve gotten overly territorial. This way, everyone could experience their new space together.

The day after the building supplies arrived, we used our vacation to build this monstrous 10’ x 8’ x 8’ coop, with a chicken door that allows them entry into the barn to egg in private. We also keep an extra 5 gallons of water in the barn to keep it cool from the summer heat.

Building a chicken coop and writing a novel both require us to balance high-level creativity with rigid, technical constraints. Both are parallel journeys of messy, structural creation. And I’m not the only one to draw that parallel…

Author William Faulkner famously connected the two:

“Writing a novel is like building a chicken coop in a high wind—you grab any board you find and nail it down fast.”

Before laying out the 4×4 wood foundation, we needed flat, level ground to support the walls and roof.

Some writers create an outline, others might only have a beginning, middle, and an end. Some might not even have that. Your writing process doesn’t matter, if you ensure the story has a solid foundation to support the plot.

We dug trenches and buried wire to protect our flock from predators.

A novel needs tight boundaries to keep out plot-destroying distractions, like irrelevant subplots and tangents that threaten to kill the story’s momentum. 

Posts and beams support the roof and walls of the coop.

Major plot points support the story.

Rather than run posts 16 inches apart like you would for a house, we spaced them out to create an aviary style coop. To achieve this, we needed to run horizontal beams as well.

Rather than characters running straight from the start to the end, writers add setbacks, conflict, tension, character growth, and subplots.

Some coop builders install drop trays or “poop shelves” under roosting bars because chickens create an immense amount of waste. The dirt floor in our coop works the same way.

See the parallel to a “shitty first draft”?

Though I don’t buy into the argument that every first draft sucks, most writers embrace the reality that early drafts can be messy, disorganized, or in need of a rewrite. The editing process is the literary equivalent of raking the coop floor to keep a clean environment.

Once we built the frame and roof, we wrapped the coop with vinyl-coated, metal poultry mesh. Which is so much easier to work with than chicken wire. We still need to paint, tuck the roof under the edges, and add natural branches for extra roosts. They love their new digs!

Writers need to edit, polish the imagery, adjust the cadence, and fix grammatical errors until the prose feels smooth and deliberate.

*Please disregard the mess around the coop. It’s a work in progress.

The one-foot pitch of the roof is intentional for snow to slide off the side, rather than land in the walkway.

 

Reader Friday-Where’d That Come From?

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Okay, here we are, readers and writers. We’re all about words, words, and more words—to the chagrin of some strong silent types.

I found a cool website where you can find out the origin of certain words. Here’s the link:

https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/words-with-surprising-histories

 

Let’s regale each other with our favorite word origins on this last day of July 2026, shall we?

Here’s mine:  Boudoir

You might think, “Well, Deb, what’s so special about that word?” I’d tell you that it’s not the word that’s special, it’s where it came from and what the hidden meaning is.

Boudoir usually means a lady’s private dressing room, right?

Straight from the above website:

“The French verb bouder means ‘to pout,’ and it led to the French word boudoir, a noun that literally means ‘a place to pout in…’”

 

 

 

I don’t know about you, but I want one.

 

 

 

Your turn, TKZers. Astound us with your favorite word origin.

 

 

 

Reader Friday-A Different Kind of Post

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Sometimes we find ourselves complaining about our life circumstances. You’d think at my advanced age I wouldn’t do that, but there it is.

I was thinking the other day about being the one child out of my parents’ four who had the job of navigating their dying with them. Harsh? No, reality. There were four of us. Two passed away in the ‘80’s, which left my older brother and I. But he lives on the east coast, and I live in our PNW hometown, as did our parents.

When I was actually in the throes of caring for them, I didn’t think too much about it. It was just a job that had to be done.

But after they were both gone—Mom in 2016 and Dad this year in January—it’s like I started feeling sorry for myself that I couldn’t have shared that “burden” with anyone else.

After remonstrating with myself for a few months—telling myself to stop being such a whiner—I experienced a profound shift in heart and mind.

 

That shift is called “gratitude”. It made me realize the stupendous, breathtaking privilege I had been given—to take care of the ones who’d cared for me my whole life.

And then, life turned the tables on me. I got to help usher them into their next life. And there was time, time, and more time to say my thank-yous and my good-byes and see ya later to them. What a gift!

 

 

 

How about you? What—right here, right now—is the most cherished privilege you’ve been given? And how will you communicate that to those around you?

Comments most welcome…

 

Reader Friday-Mickey Mouse or Hannibal Lecter?

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Scary title this morning, yes?  🙂

Just a quick, non-scary question for this Friday morning.

Who is the one fictional character you relate to most? Can be from your own writing, or another author, or even from a movie. And please tell us why…

 

 

Here’s a few more to get your juices flowing…

 

 

 

 

 

(Fun fact: if you do a search on this morning’s question, there are links to websites where you can take a quiz to find out the character you’re most like.)