Category Archives: #WritingCommunity

Craft a Raptor Hero Not Villain

Posted on by
8

Raptors are some of the most successful predators on the planet. From owls, eagles, and vultures to hawks, falcons, and other birds of prey, raptors are skilled hunters with incredible senses, like binocular vision, that help them detect prey at far distances.

The secretary bird even carries mouthfuls of water back to the nest for her young — one of the few avian species to quench a chicks’ thirst.

If a raptor was a character in a book, they seem like the perfect villain on the surface. After all, they kill and consume adorable critters like chipmunks, squirrels, mice, monkeys, birds, fish, and old or injured animals. As readers, we’d fear the moment their shadow darkened the soil.

What we may not consider right away is how tender raptors are with their young, or that they only take what they need to feed their family and keep the landscape free of disease from rotting meat and sick animals, or what majestic fliers they are. Raptors have many awe-inspiring abilities.

Take, for example, the Andean condor, the largest flying land bird in the western hemisphere. In the highest peaks of the majestic Andes, the largest raptor in the world hovers in the sky in search of its next meal — a carcass or old/injured animal to hunt. Andean condors have a wingspan of over ten feet. If one flew sideways through an average living room with eight-foot ceilings, the wings would drag on the floor!

How could we turn a massive predator like the Andean condor into a hero? It’s difficult to offset their hunting abilities and diet with the innocence of their prey, but not impossible.

A layered characterization holds the key. It doesn’t matter who your protagonist is or what they do. With proper characterization, a raptor or killer can play any role.

Go Deeper than the Three Dimensions of Character

1st dimension: The face they show to the world; a public persona
2nd dimension: The person they are at home and with close friends
3rd dimension: Their true character. If a fire broke out in a cinema, would they help others get out safely or elbow their way through the crowd?

A raptor-type character needs layers, each one peeled little by little over time to reveal the full picture of who they are and what they stand for. We also need to justify their actions so readers can root for them.

A perfect example is Dexter Morgan, vigilante serial killer and forensic blood spatter analyst for Miami Dade Police.

Why did the world fall in love with Dexter?

What makes Dexter so fascinatingly different is that he lives by a code when choosing his victims – they must, without a doubt, be murderers likely to strike again. But he didn’t always have this code. In the beginning, he killed to satisfy the sick impulses from his “dark passenger.” If it weren’t for Dexter’s adoptive father and police officer, Harry Morgan, who educated his son to control his need to kill and established tight guidelines for Dexter to follow (the code), he would have been the villain.

Readers accept his “dark passenger” because he’s ridding the world of other serial killers who could harm innocent people in the community. And that’s enough justification for us to root for him. We’re willing to overlook the fact that he revels in each kill and keeps trophies. We even join him in celebrating his murders — and never want him caught.

Jeff Lyndsay couldn’t have pulled this off if he showed all Dexter’s layers at the very beginning. It worked because he showed us pieces of Dexter Morgan over time.

The Characterization for Vigilante Killers Cannot be Rushed

When I created this type of character, he started as the villain for two and half novels while I dropped hints and pieces of truth like breadcrumbs. It wasn’t until halfway through book four that the full picture of who he really was and what motivated him became evident.

So, go ahead and craft a raptor as the protagonist of your story (as an antihero). When characters are richly detailed psychologically, readers connect to them. Perhaps a part of us wishes we could enact justice like they do.

If crafted with forethought and understanding, your raptor may become your most memorable character to date. Just go slow and really think about how much of their mind to reveal and when. Who knows? You may create a protagonist readers will analyze for years to come!

*Perhaps it’s unfair to draw a parallel between raptors and vigilante killers but the idea came to me while watching a nature documentary. Make no mistake, I adore raptors.

Have you ever crafted a raptor character aka antihero? Who’s your favorite antihero (movies or books)? And why?

 

Writing for Children

Posted on by

When you’ve spent your entire career writing adult thrillers and true crime, switching to a children’s chapter book takes some getting used to. Jumping back and forth between the two is even more difficult. After struggling with both projects, I decided to stick with one till completion, then finish the other.

Because my chapter book is meticulously outlined and half-written, I chose to concentrate on that project first. Plus, a chapter book’s optimal range is 10,000 words — a fraction of the word-count of an environmental thriller.

When I read the opening sequence of my chapter book, it seemed too advanced for young readers. I needed to stop, home in on my target age group, and relax the language and pacing. After all, early readers don’t have the same mental acuity as adults. They need easier wins.

Children’s books are separated into three categories, all with different guidelines for word choices, pacing, viewpoints, and the amount and style of illustrations.

  • Picture books
  • Chapter books
  • Middle Grade

Picture Books

A standard picture book is 32 pages long.

Picture books follow a compact story arc with a beginning, middle, and end. Jump into the action quickly, introduce a problem, and have the main character solve it by the end. The “rule of three,” where a problem recurs three times before a solution is found, is a common and effective technique. Illustrations will convey much of the emotion and setting, so your text should focus on the action and dialogue. Avoid using words to describe what the illustrations show. A picture book is meant to be read aloud, so the language needs to have a natural rhythm and flow.

Ages 3-5: Around 500 words, these stories have simple language and relatable topics like starting school, picky eaters, or a nighttime routine. Illustrations consume the pages—big, bright, and fun.

Ages 4-8: These picture books can be slightly longer, up to 800 words, with a slightly more complex plot. Still, you’re limited, because the illustrations take center stage.

As a visual medium, the writer must consider how the story will unfold across two-page spreads.

Chapter Books

To write a chapter book, you need to develop relatable characters, create a simple yet engaging plot, and break the story into short, purposeful chapters that build a new reader’s confidence. A typical chapter book is aimed at the 7-10 year age group and has a word count between 5,000 and 15,000 words. The sweet spot is 10,000. This allows the writer more freedom than a picture book.

Chapter books fall between early readers and middle-grade novels. The target audience is a new independent reader who’s often supervised by an adult. A solid, unique story idea is the foundation of a successful chapter book—especially since many are written as a series—that includes the main plot and core theme(s).

If you include an ill-advised subplot, be careful not to divert focus from the main plot. The young reader is just beginning to get comfortable reading on their own. Making the story easy to understand and follow is essential. Sure, many chapter books are read aloud to an adult, but don’t rely on that. What if the child is reading alone?

A chapter book must have a full narrative arc. If you watch a plethora of animated films, you’ll see they’re all structured like an adult novel or movie. And so, that’s exactly what I did. The story should be action-packed with lots of dialogue to hold a new independent reader’s attention, but never leave the main character and sidekick in trouble for long. A flip of the page is more than enough suspense.

Around 48-80 pages, chapter books often include black-and-white illustrations at the beginning of each chapter or where you want to show the new reader what’s going on. For example, when I introduce a new animal character, I’ll include an illustration to cement that picture in the reader’s mind. Because the illustration is in black-and-white, I need only mention color rather than a detailed description.

Middle Grade Novel

Most middle grade novels are geared toward ages 8-12. They are the in-between books for readers who have outgrown chapter books and are too young to emotionally handle or enjoy themes and ideas found in young adult novels. Middle grade novels run about 30,000-55,000 words.

Young readers need to relate to the characters, but they don’t mind “reading up.” Meaning, the main cast should be in the upper range of the target age group. For some reason, 13 and 14 year-old characters are considered a no-no. They’re too old for middle grade novels (perhaps due to puberty?) and too young to star in YA.

If you choose to write in this genre, you may want to read this article about middle grade novels. In it, the author includes an important distinction:

“What may work for an 8-year-old likely won’t work for a 12-year-old. So although we bundle it all into middle grade, the genre actually has two sub groups. This is important to understand in order to know your audience when writing, and thus appropriately adjust your themes and word count.

Two Sub-Categories

  • Lower Middle Grade

Lower middle grade novels tend to be read by kids aged 8 to 10 years old. There may be a sub plot or two, but the main plot will dominate the focus, and all themes will certainly be G or PG rated.

  • Upper Middle Grade

Upper middle grade novels can have a higher word count, and will be read by children aged 10 to 13 years old. There will likely be a subplot or two that help to carry the story in a substantial way. Themes may be a bit more complex, or PG or PG-13 rated.”

Even though I spent quite a bit of time researching techniques for my new target audience, I enjoy the challenge of writing a children’s chapter book. It’s rewarding, fun, and exciting.

Have you ever considered writing for children? Do you write children’s books now? If so, for what age group? Any tips to share? Categorize your favorite children’s book and tell us why you loved it as a child.

Fear of Failure

Posted on by

* * *

Babe Ruth played professional baseball for 22 years (1914-1935) and is considered one of the greatest players who ever lived. He had almost 3,000 hits in his career, averaging more than one hit per game. For many years, he held the record for the number of home runs hit during a single season (60 in 1927). His total number of home runs over his professional career was 714, a record which stood until 1974.

But there’s another statistic you may not have known: Babe Ruth struck out 1,330 times. Apparently, he never let the fear of failure keep him from playing the game.

* * *

Fear is part of being human. It goes along with the DNA, and it can be healthy because it instills the instinct for survival we all need. But fears can be unhealthy if we give in to them and become more cautious than we need to be.

Once we let our fears control us, things can get out of hand. A phobia is defined as an irrational fear of something that causes anxiety when a person is exposed to that particular thing.

We all know about fear of heights (acrophobia) and fear of spiders (arachnophobia), but when I searched around for a complete list, I found more than one hundred things on healthline.com to be afraid of! Here are a few I found interesting.

 

Fear of flowers (anthophobia) – Better not go for a walk in my neighborhood.

Fear of numbers (arithmophobia) – I have a friend who insists she “can’t do numbers”

Fear of books (bibliophobia) – Oh no!

 

Fear of failure (atychiphobia) – Ah, now here’s one we can relate to.

* * *

Failure is something we all experience, but I suspect the fear of failure is more acute in disciplines that require creativity than in other areas. The very word “create” implies something new, and that means it may not work.

I’ve read research that shows high achievers are very likely to experience fear of failure. (I imagine some of us here at TKZ fall into this category.) Having achieved success in their professional lives, these folks see anything less than a fabulous accomplishment as inadequacy.

Many high achievers will work hard to avoid that stigma, but others would rather drop out of the race than risk what they perceive as failure.

So how do authors stay in the game and handle that scary thought that they won’t be able to write another book as good as the last one?  There are ways to minimize those concerns. According to an article on betterhealth.vic.gov.au, the same things that enhance creativity can be used to fight the fear of failure.

“There are several ways you can try to fight your fears.… Simple changes, like exercising regularly, can reduce your stress levels. So can eating healthy meals, getting enough sleep, and reducing or avoiding stimulants like caffeine and alcohol.”

And don’t forget the Babe. You can’t hit a home run if you don’t step up to the plate.

 

So TKZers: Do you experience a fear of failure in your writing? How do you fight it?

* * *

The saga continues with Knights in Manhattan, the second novel in the Reen & Joanie Detective Agency middle grade mystery series.

  • Joanie is afraid of flying.
  • Reen is afraid she might not catch the thieves.
  • Mrs. Toussaint isn’t afraid of anything.

Join the fun with the R&J Detective Agency as they track down nefarious crooks in Manhattan. New York will never be the same.

$1.99 on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Apple Books, and Google Play

Revisited: Can Writers Lose Their Fingerprints?

Posted on by

This subject arose again when I was trying to log into a device with fingerprint technology. I hadn’t used the device for a few years, so I had no clue of the password. And since the technology couldn’t get a good scan of my fingerprints, it remains locked.

Ah, well.

Thankfully, my iPhone uses facial recognition software. There may be a way to break into the locked device through my phone… if I recall why I wanted into it in the first place. Sigh.

If it sounds like I need some R&R, you’re right. Hence why I plan to head south and unplug till Wednesday. Still might work on my passion project WIP in between play dates with chickens, crows, and fur-babies.

In a recent chat with Jordan, she mentioned that when she went for her TSA pre-check ID for her trip, they couldn’t detect her digital fingerprints.

They said, since she spent so much time at a computer keyboard as a writer, she’s deteriorated her ridge detail.

Could this be true of all professional writers?

As you might have guessed, this question sent me down a rabbit hole of research, because I’ve had trouble with my iPhone’s digital fingerprint scan. It only recognizes my thumbprint, not any other finger. Which I figured was just a glitch with the phone. Now, I’m not so sure.

Before we can prove or disprove TSA’s conclusion, we first need to know the basics.

What is a fingerprint?

A fingerprint is a pattern of friction ridge details, comprised of ridges and valleys. A ridge is a high point, a valley is a depression or low point. Friction ridges are also found on our palms, feet, and toes. “Pattern” equals the unique characteristics of the ridges and valleys that make up the print, defined by the spatial relationship of multiple lines, their beginning and terminating points, and the unique pattern they create.

Each ridge contains tiny pores connected to sweat glands beneath the skin. When we touch an object, sweat and oils release from these pores and leave behind a print, latent or visible. The genes from our parents determine the general characteristics of the pattern.

 

Fun fact: Like human fingerprints, a dog’s nose has a unique identifiable pattern. In fact, many dog clubs now keep nose prints on file.

If you’d like to learn how to print your dog’s nose, see this post. 🙂

 

 

Sir Francis Galton was the first person to classify fingerprints into different types based on the three basic features: loops, arches, and whorls. Learn more about points, types, and classifications HERE.

Fingerprints form before birth and remain unchanged until the body decomposes after death.

There are two exceptions to “remain unchanged”…

If, say, someone sliced the tip of their finger with a knife, it may leave behind a scar. But then, their fingerprint would be even more distinguishable because of that scar.

Along similar lines, severe burns can also damage the deep layers of skin and obliterate the ridge detail. However, much like the knife injury, the scars that form would become the injured party’s unique identifiers.

The other exception has to do with the elderly. As we age, we lose skin elasticity, which may affect ridge detail. The fingerprints become wider; the spaces between the ridges narrower. Even though the fingerprint still exists, fingerprint technology may find it more difficult to detect.

Can someone be born without fingerprints?

In a few rare cases, yes. One condition called adermatoglyphia — also known as “immigration delay disease” — can result in a child being born without fingerprints. In some cases, these infants have almost no other health issues. In other cases, this condition could cause skin abnormalities, including tiny white bumps on the face, blistering of the skin, and/or a lack of sweat glands. Adermatoglyphia has only been documented in four families worldwide.

Naegeli Syndrome is another rare condition that halts the production of fingerprints in utero. Said syndrome is characterized by reticular skin pigmentation (meaning, mottled, purplish, and lace-like splotches), diminished function of the sweat glands, and the absence of teeth. Individuals with Naegeli Syndrome have sweat gland abnormalities. Not only do they lack fingerprints but they also suffer from heat intolerance due to a decrease or total inability to sweat.

Do Twins Have the Same Fingerprints?

No. Twins do not have identical fingerprints. Our prints are as unique as snowflakes. Actually, we have a 1 in 64 billion chance of having the same fingerprints as someone else.

Sci-fi writers could potentially take advantage of these odds, but it’d be tricky to pull off.

Who’s most at risk for losing their fingerprints?

Patients undergoing chemotherapy — such as capecitabine (Xeloda), for example — are most at risk. With prolonged use of this medication, the finger-pad skin can become inflamed, swollen, and damaged to the point of erasing the ridge detail, according to DP Lyle, MD, author of Forensics for Dummies. Chemotherapy may also cause severe peeling of the palms and soles of the feet. The medical term for this condition is called Hand-Foot Syndrome.

Skin diseases like scleroderma, psoriasis, and eczema also have the potential to obliterate the ridge pattern.

Which professions cause the most damage to fingerprints?

Bricklayers and other heavy manual laborers can wear down their fingerprint ridges to the point where no pattern is visible. Secretaries and file clerks who handle paper all day can have a similar thing occur. Typists (Writers!) and piano players can suffer the same alterations. Hairstylists, dry cleaning workers, and those who work with lime (calcium oxide) are often exposed to chemicals that dissolve the upper layers of the skin, thereby flattening the ridge detail.

So, to answer our initial question, was TSA correct?

Yes! Pounding on the keyboard can wear away a writer’s fingerprints.

How might the lack of fingerprints cause problems?

Losing one’s prints can cause issues with crossing international borders and even logging on to certain computer systems.

Fortunately, fingerprint technology is always evolving and improving.

As more and more careers require hours of keyboard time, someday retinal scanners, facial recognition, and voice prints will replace the current technology.

Have you ever been told you have no digital fingerprints? Have you experienced any problems with fingerprint technology?

Happy Labor Day! Can you believe it’s September already? Where’d that summer go?

The Book of Proverbs & Self-Editing for Fiction Writers

Posted on by

Proverbs are short sentences drawn from long experience. —Miguel de Cervantes

* * *

Note: This blog post was taken from one I posted on my own blog in 2019.

* * *

Every morning I sit down with my bowl of oatmeal and cup of coffee and read a chapter in the Book of Proverbs. I’ve been doing this for a very long time — so long, I can’t remember when I started or where I got the idea.

Now, I’m all about doing things the easy way, so since there are thirty-one chapters in Proverbs, I read the chapter whose number corresponds with the date. Therefore, I go through the entire book each month. (Okay, chapter 31 doesn’t get as much attention as it deserves, but it’s still a pretty good system.)

The thing about the Book of Proverbs that interests me is the wealth of wisdom found in its pages. Practical wisdom. A soul-searching, character-changing experience in less than five minutes every morning.

 “Good sense makes one slow to anger,
    and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” – Proverbs 19:11

 “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches” – Proverbs 22:1a

 “Pride goes before destruction,
    and a haughty spirit before a fall.” – Proverbs 16:18

 “A dishonest man spreads strife,
    and a whisperer separates close friends.” – Proverbs 16:28

I could go on, but you get the idea. The Book of Proverbs is surely self-editing for the soul.

* * *

I may not remember exactly when I started reading the Proverbs every morning, but I remember precisely where I was when I first heard about Self-editing for Fiction Writers. I was attending a panel discussion for new authors at my first writers conference (Killer Nashville 2017.) The subject was how to improve your writing, and one of the speakers said the book Self-editing for Fiction Writers was an essential addition to any writer’s library. So I bought a copy and started reading.

Talk about practical wisdom!

“To write exposition at length … is to engage your readers’ intellects. What you want to do is to engage their emotions.” – Chapter One, “Show and Tell”

“When you make the point of view clear at the beginning of a scene, you get your readers involved right away and let them get used to inhabiting your viewpoint character’s head.” – Chapter Three, “Point of View”

“Don’t open a paragraph of dialogue with the speaker attribution. Instead, start a paragraph with dialogue and place the speaker attribution at the first natural break in the first sentence.” — Chapter Five, “Dialogue Mechanics”

“The greatest advantage of self-editing … is the kind of attention you have to pay to your own work while you’re doing the self-editing. It demands that you revise again and again until what you’ve written rings true. Until you can believe it.” – Chapter Twelve, “Voice”

This was the kind of advice I needed to self-edit my manuscript before I sent it off to a professional editor.

* * *

So TKZers: What proverb about writing has helped you? What books do you turn to in order to study the craft? What writing conferences have influenced you the most?

 

Reen Penterson is determined to find a treasure hidden by the mysterious Mr. Shadow so she’ll become rich and famous and won’t have to go to school anymore. Her father wisely advises her to think about Proverbs 30:8.

EBOOK ON SALE NOW: 99¢ on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Google Play, and Apple Books.

 

Reader Friday-One Book

Posted on by

I’ll bet a paycheck (if I had one…) that everyone reading these words today has more than one book on the bookshelf.

More than twenty? Or a hundred?

So…I have a question for you.

If you were allowed only one, 1, uno, une book on your shelf, what book would you choose?

 

 

If a wicked, wicked genie popped up in front of your face and said, “Choose only one book or die a thousand deaths”, what would be the title of that book?

Cue Deb’s fingers drumming . . .

(My answer in the comments–wouldn’t want to give you any ideas!)

🙂

 

Resonance

Posted on by

Resonance (noun) – the occurrence of a vibrating object causing another object to vibrate at a higher amplitude.

* * *

I’ve noticed several comments on TKZ lately where folks mentioned a particular book or scene “resonated” with them. Intuitively, we understand what that means, but when I mentioned it to my husband, whose background is physics, I got a mini-lesson on the physical properties of resonance.

It was fascinating.

That sent me off to read some more about this phenomenon. I discovered the howstuffworks site that gave a definition perfectly describing the concept:

“At its core, resonance is the extraordinary phenomenon where an object vibrates at the same natural frequency as another.”

There are several areas that clearly illustrate resonant behavior.

 

MUSIC

This may be the most obvious. Notes produce sound in waves. When you play a note on the piano, the string vibrates and causes the sounding board to vibrate and amplify the sound. In addition, playing two notes that have related frequencies produce a harmonious sound. For example, playing two notes an octave apart or a “perfect fifth” like playing C and G at the same time produce a resonant result.

SWINGS

We’ve probably all enjoyed having someone push us on a swing. If the push is at right moment, the swing will go higher. If it’s a little early or late, the frequency is off, and the swing won’t go as high.

 

BRIDGES

Soldiers are often ordered to stop marching in a synchronized cadence when they cross a bridge to avoid accidentally activating a dangerous frequency. The Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse is a perfect example of resonance that resulted in a bridge disaster. The wind’s force, combined with the bridge’s natural frequency of vibration, led to resonance, where the oscillations became increasingly large and violent. 

Fortunately, no one died in the Tacoma Narrows disaster, but it’s not the kind of resonance we’re aiming for in our writing!

* * *

WRITING

Now that we know what resonance is, how do we use the concept in writing a story? Again, from the howstuffworks site:

When we say a piece of art or music resonates with us, we mean that it strikes a chord in our hearts and minds. This emotional resonance is the magic that binds us to the world around us, creating a profound connection between ourselves and our experiences.

James Scott Bell addressed this topic in his recent post on “What Writers Can Learn from the Twilight Zone.” He concluded that the essence of a work is its heart, the ability to emotionally connect with the reader. He advises us

“What is it you care most deeply about, besides selling books? Tap into it. Draw from it. Make it thrum throughout your work.”

I believe the “thrum” JSB spoke of is the resonant quality of a story that touches the reader in a way to amplify his/her emotional response.

* * *

Here are a few examples of books that created that magic bond and resonated with me. Some because I connected with the characters, others because I felt the emotion even if I didn’t identify with the characters.

  • A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
  • West with the Night by Beryl Markham
  • To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
  • The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein

* * *

So, TKZers: How would you define resonance in writing? How do you ensure that your stories will resonate with the reader? What books have resonated with you?

* * *

 

The idea of a search for treasure hidden by the mysterious “Mr. Shadow” resonates with a lot of people in the university town of Bellevue. However, very few of them are as determined as these two young detectives.

But will Mrs. Toussaint’s advice that “Persistence is the key to success” prove true?

EBOOK ON SALE NOW: 99¢ on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Google Play, and Apple Books.

 

Fluff, Flab, and Filler

Posted on by

Canada wildfires are affecting the air quality in my area. The National Weather Service wrote, “acceptable; however, the air quality may pose a moderate health concern for a very small number of individuals.”

Strange statement, considering three out of four of my closest friends feel like they have a sinus infection or head cold. I wouldn’t classify 75% as a “very small number of individuals.” Also, who writes for the National Weather Service? Can’t be a professional writer, or “very small” wouldn’t be the term they used.

Substitutes for “very small”

  • Tiny
  • Minuscule
  • Minute
  • Few
  • Diminutive
  • Limited
  • Trifling
  • Teensy-weensy
  • Slight

The subject of fluff arose last week while I was reading a brand new writer’s partial manuscript, including a prologue that was all backstory—important for her to know but irrelevant to the reader.

Rather than teach her how to tighten her writing, I focused on scene structure and techniques to force her characters to do something, anything. After several pages of notes, the fluff conversation could wait. The last thing I wanted was to obliterate a young writer’s dreams. Instead, I gave her a gentle nudge in the right direction.

For those farther along in their journey or career, recognizing fluff is an important subject. Those pesky buggers that sneak into first drafts and weaken our writing are better known as filler words and phrases aka fluff or flab.

If a filler word serves a purpose, such as to enhance characterization in dialogue, keep it. The objective is to tighten the writing by eliminating unnecessary words or phrases that might distract the reader.

Filler/Fluff/Flab Words 

Just

Just should almost always be deleted.

Original: I just couldn’t bear to say goodbye.

Rewrite: I couldn’t bear to say goodbye.

That

That litters many first drafts, but it can often be deleted without any harm to the original sentence.

Original: I believe that all writers should kill their darlings.

Rewrite: All writers should kill their darlings.

The original sentence has another problem. Did you catch it? Believe in this context is a telling word. Any time we tell the reader things like “I thought” or “He knew” or “She felt” or “I believe,” we slip out of deep POV. Thus, the little darling must die, as I did in the rewrite.

So

Original: So, this huge guy glared at me in the coffee line.

Rewrite: This musclebound, no-necked guy glared at me in the coffee line.

Confession: I use “so” all the time IRL. It’s also one of the (many) writing tics I search for in my work. The only exception to eliminating this, or any other, filler word is if it’s used with purpose, like as a character cue word.

Really

Original: She broke up with him. He still really loves her.

Sometimes removing filler means combining or rewording sentences.

Rewrite: When she severed their relationship, his heart weakened.

Very

We’ve established where the National Weather Service went wrong with very, but I’ll include it anyway.

Original: He made me very happy.

Rewrite: When he neared, my skin tingled.

Of

To determine if “of” is necessary read the sentence with and without it. Makes sense without it? Delete. Doesn’t? Keep it.

Original: She bolted out of the door.

Rewrite: She bolted out the door.

Up (following an action)

Original: He stood up tall.

Rewrite: He stood tall.

Down (following an action)

Original: He sat down on the sofa.

Rewrite: He sat on the sofa.

Want(ed)

Want/wanted are telling words. Rewrite to preserve deep POV.

Original: I really wanted the chocolate cake.

Substitute with a strong verb, such as: I drooled over the chocolate cake. One bite. What could it hurt?

Came/Went

Both are filler words because they’re not specific enough.

Original: I went to the store to buy my favorite ice cream.

Rewrite: I raced to Marco’s General Store to feed my craving for coffee ice cream.

Had

Too many had words give the impression the action took place prior to the main storyline. If it is used in a flashback, one had in the opening sentence signals the beginning, one at the end closes the scene. But if it’s clear the action occurred in the past, had can often be omitted.

Original: I had gazed at the painting for hours, waiting for the eyes to move.

Rewrite: For hours, I gazed at the painting. The eyes never moved.

Well (to start a sentence)

Original: Well, the homecoming queen attended the dance without the homecoming king.

Rewrite: The homecoming queen attended the dance, stag.

Literally/Basically

Original: I basically had to drag her out of the bar by her hair.

Rewrite: I dragged her out of the bar by her hair.

Original: I literally laundered money today. Still plucking bills from the lint filter.

Rewrite: I laundered money today. Still plucking bills from the lint filter.

Actually

Original: Actually, I did mind.

Rewrite: I minded.

Highly

Original: She was highly annoyed by his presence.

Rewrite: His presence infuriated her.

Totally

Original: I totally didn’t understand a word.

Rewrite: Huh? *kidding* I didn’t understand a word. Was that English?

And any other -ly adverb. Can you substitute with a strong verb or noun instead?

Anyway (to start a sentence)

Original: Anyway, I hope you laughed, loved, and lazed on your summer vacation.

Rewrite: I hope you laughed, loved, and lazed on your summer vacation.

Fluff Phrases

Most of these phrases should be omitted. If used for a purpose, like to enhance characterization with a catch phrase, feel free to keep it. Otherwise, delete. It’s even more important to eliminate fluff if you’re still developing your voice.

A bit

Original: The movie was a bit intense. Lots of blood.

Rewrite: Intense movie. Blood galore.

There is no doubt that

Original: There is no doubt that football season begins in the fall.

Rewrite: Football season begins in the fall.

The reason is that

Original: The reason is that I said you can’t go.

Rewrite: Because I said so, that’s why (shout-out to moms everywhere!).

The question as to whether

Original: The question as to whether the moon will rise again is irrelevant.

Rewrite: Whether the moon will rise again is irrelevant.

Whether or not

Original: Whether or not you agree is not my problem.

Or worse: Whether you agree or not is not my problem.

Rewrite: Whether you agree is not my problem.

This is a topic that

Original: This is a topic that is close to my heart.

Rewrite: This topic is close to my heart.

In spite of the fact 

Original: In spite of the fact that he said he loved you, he’s married.

Rewrite: Although he professed his love, he’s married.

Or: Despite that he claimed to love you, he’s married.

The fact that

Original: The fact that he has not succeeded means he cannot do the job.

Rewrite: His failure proves he cannot do the job.

In order to

Original: In order to pay bills online, you need internet access.

Rewrite: To pay bills online, you need internet access.

At the end of the day

Original: At the end of the day, we’re all human.

Rewrite: We’re human. Fallible.

Not gonna lie

This phrase irritates me, is overused by the younger crowd, and only raises questions.

  • Why would you lie? We’re having a friendly conversation.
  • Never considered you’d lie, but now I’m suspicious.

Original: Not gonna lie, that chocolate cake almost killed me.

Rewrite: That chocolate cake almost killed me.

I’ve joined the crowd affected by air pollutants from the wildfires. Please bear with me today. Not feeling my best. But don’t let that stop you from adding filler words & phrases I missed.

Strawberries, Raspberries, and Book Marketing

Posted on by

by Debbie Burke

July is the height of berry season in Montana.

With so much bounty ripening at the same time, it’s sometimes hard to remember how long it takes for plants to grow and mature to produce an abundance of succulent, sweet, juicy fruit.

You plant a bed of new strawberry starts and, for a couple of years, not much happens. The plants expend most of their energy sending out runners that turn into more plants. Runners go in all directions, sometimes sprawling beyond the raised bed, hanging  in midair. Those need to be coaxed back to root in the soil. Then about the third year, blossoms appear, followed by pea-size but deliciously sweet berries. By the end of summer, berries are larger, sometimes approaching golf-ball size and bursting with juice.

Raspberry canes are similar. For the first few years, they’re busy growing underground runners that pop through the dirt to become new canes. The new canes are often rebellious, refusing to stay in the designated area where you want them. Instead, they shoot up in the nearby lawn and get mowed down. About the third year, a few berries appear. Then the fourth year, suddenly you can’t keep up. You’re picking raspberries every day, eating handfuls, giving them away, and filling freezer bags to make jam later.

What does this have to do with books and marketing?

We writers may take years to write a book. For so long, nothing visible happens. Our words go out like runners that pop up in unexpected places.

Sometimes, like the rebellious volunteer raspberry canes in the lawn, they get mowed down, and we must start over. We have to coax them into the borders of the book, cultivate them, and wait. And cultivate and wait. And cultivate and wait.

Marketing is similar: send out runners, cultivate, and wait.

In Kay’s terrific post yesterday, she mentions endurance.

Writing is a long game. Those who lack the endurance and who give up will never taste the fruits of their labors.

My new book launched this past weekend. The Villain’s Journey-How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate took about two years from conception to publication.

During that time, along with writing the book, I was sending out runners to gauge market interest among various groups like the Authors Guild, International Thriller Writers, Kill Zone followers, my mailing list, etc.

Through more than three decades, I’ve made writing friends via conferences, classes, and online connections. I’ve taught workshops in person and on Zoom, developing more contacts and editing clients. I’ve written guest posts for other blogs.

Some of the runners I sent out hung in midair and never took root. Others bore incredible fruit.

Back in January, I gave a talk to the Authors of the Flathead that was an overview of The Villain’s Journey. That resulted in an invitation to present a day-long workshop (for a nice fee!) at their upcoming conference in October. Another invitation to teach came from the Montana Writers Rodeo conference for 2026.

TKZ’s community came through in a big way. Jim Bell offered me early encouragement about The Villain’s Journey concept and has given me a wonderful endorsement (shown in Amazon’s Editorial Reviews). 

Steve Hooley and Dale Smith kept nudging me in the nicest way possible. Kay DiBianca asked me to guest post on her blog. Sue Coletta provided a chapter on serial killers. Jim and John Gilstrap added words of wisdom that are included in VJ.

TKZ followers reached out to me, supported the book idea, and a number of them became beta readers.

I’ve never met any of these people face to face, yet I consider them good friends.

One author I did meet in person is Christopher Vogler at a Florida writing conference. Chris’s classic bestselling book The Writer’s Journey: Mythic Structure for Writers maps the Hero’s Journey and gave me the framework and foundation. My book is the flip side, focused on the villain. We had a memorable conversation, and I sent him an ARC (advanced reading copy). A few weeks later, he sent me his blurb for The Villain’s Journey (shown in Amazon’s Editorial Reviews).

I almost fell off my chair.

Several years ago, I zoomed with the Arizona Mystery Writers about self-editing. They learned about VJ, reached out, and invited me back to talk about the book. Preorders came from them, as well as an invitation to speak to the Tucson Sisters in Crime chapter.

Two years ago, I spoke at Montana Writers Rodeo in Helena and picked up several editing clients. Yesterday an email arrived from a woman whose first page I’d critiqued there. She’d read the VJ ARC on BookSirens and explained the problems she’d had writing her first mystery. She wrote, “Thank you for writing this book. It was serendipity that I learned about it and got a chance to read it. It has given me a new spark to rewrite my mystery. I now have a clearer understanding of what I’ve been missing in my story.”

Gave me chills.

On Amazon, The Villain’s Journey is flagged as “#1 New Release” in Literary Criticism Reference. Not a blockbuster category but still gratifying to see.

I’m far from the world’s best marketer and can’t afford a pro to do it for me. No social media, infrequent newsletters, few ads. I don’t follow many of the conventional routes recommended by successful authors. If I did, there’s no question I’d sell more books.

The detours I’ve taken into teaching and freelance editing are personally rewarding. They also earn more than my books, even with nine published thrillers.

Like strawberries starts and raspberry canes, we writers plant our words. They take a long time to root and become established.  We send out more runners, keep cultivating, and wait, and send out runners, keep cultivating, and wait.

Today I’m celebrating a bountiful harvest and it’s deliciously sweet.

~~~

The Villain’s Journey-How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate is for sale at

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Apple

Kobo

The paperback goes on sale in a few weeks.

The Backwards Law for Writers

Posted on by

I stumbled across the subject of The Backwards Law by accident—a happy accident that led me to The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Excellent book that I devoured in two sittings.

The Backwards Law proposes the more we pursue something, the less satisfied we become. For writers, the constant pursuit of “more” causes us to feel horrible about where we are and what we’ve achieved. The harder we try, the less likely we are to succeed.

On the surface, it seems like the opposite of perseverance, doesn’t it? But it’s not. The Backwards Law goes much deeper than that.

Think of it this way:

  • Trying too hard to be creative or write something brilliant often leads to writer’s block, self-doubt, and a feeling of being disconnected from the work.
  • Only focusing on the end result—recognition, success, publication—causes unnecessary anxiety and pressure.
  • The fear of making mistakes or writing poorly will paralyze a writer and often will lead to abandoning the WIP.

“Wanting a positive experience is a negative experience; accepting a negative experience is a positive experience.” Mark Manson – The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

Alan Watts, the philosopher who coined the phrase, describes The Backwards Law as being in a lake. If you relax and put your head back, you’ll float. But the more you struggle and flail to try to stay afloat, the more you will sink.

Often our search for “more” has the opposite effect. It shines a spotlight on what we lack.

Life Examples

  • The more we cling to a loved one, the more they will feel suffocated and in need of space.
  • The more we obsess about accumulating money, the more poor and unworthy we will feel.
  • The more we pursue trying to feel happier all the time, the more we will reinforce this idea that we are fundamentally lacking and irreparable.

Do you even know what you want?

Sure, selling millions of copies of your book sounds great, but is that why you wrote it? Or maybe, you can’t define what you’re chasing. You just want more.

“Two reasons that you don’t really know what you want. Number one: you have it. Number two: you don’t know yourself, because you never can. The Godhead is never an object of its own knowledge, just as a knife doesn’t cut itself, fire doesn’t burn itself, light doesn’t illuminate itself.” ~ Alan Watts

In The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson tells the story of a talented young guitarist who was kicked out of his band in 1983, after they had just been signed by a record label. No warning. No reason given. No discussion. They woke him up and handed him a bus ticket.

After much self-pity on the ride home to LA, the guitarist vowed to start a new group that would be so successful, his old band would seethe with jealously. And so, with only that thought in mind, he worked tirelessly to find the best musicians. He wrote dozens of songs. Practiced day and night. Revenge became his muse.

Within two years, a record label signed his new band. One year later, their first record went gold. The guitarist’s name? Dave Mustaine, lead guitarist in the heavy metal band Megadeath, which went on to sell over 25 million albums and tour the world many times. Mustaine is considered one of the most influential musicians in the history of heavy metal music.

Sounds like the story has a happy ending, right?

Not quite.

The band who kicked him out was Metallica, which has sold over 180 million albums worldwide and is considered by many to be one of the greatest rock bands of all time.

Because of Metallica’s fame, Mustaine considered himself a failure. Despite all he’d accomplished, in his mind, he would always be the guy who got kicked out of Metallica and nothing more. Whether he realized it or not, Mustaine used Metallica’s success and popularity as his life-defining measuring stick. Even after all of Megadeath’s success, he could never be happy, because he based his self-worth and music career on something he had no control over.

This story perfectly illustrates The Backwards Law in action.

Accept imperfection and you’ll feel perfect. Accept loneliness and you’ll feel content alone. Accepting a negative experience is a positive experience. But fighting a negative experience means you’ll suffer twice.

  • When we stop trying to be happy, we’ll be happy because there’s nothing we need beyond what is.
  • When we stop trying to be rich or massively successful, we’ll live in abundance because we’re content with what we have and anything on top of that is a bonus.

Thus, the only way to have what we want is not to want it. And that’s what The Backwards Law teaches us.

Being aware of the workings of The Backwards Law doesn’t mean that we should never set goals, never have ambitions, or never chase our dreams. Rather, The Backwards Law teaches us not to be fooled by the idea that the pursuit of happiness (whatever that looks like to you) leads to happiness. When in fact, the opposite is true. And with that knowledge, we’re able to enter the blissful state of enjoying the journey.

“The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced.” ~ Alan Watts

How do we get what we want without trying?

Depends on what we want. If we strive to write the best damn book we can, the following tips should help.

Mindful Writing: Practice mindfulness while writing. It’ll help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment, allowing you to be more present in the moment.

Step Away: It’s okay to step away from the WIP to clear your head. Go for a walk. Take a shower. Read a book. Exercise. I do this all the time when I’m working out a plot issue. Nine times out of ten, the answer reveals itself as soon as I stop thinking about it.

Accept Imperfection: Give yourself permission to make mistakes in early drafts. It’ll allow you to experiment and explore different ideas without fear.

Stay Present: Enjoy the journey of bringing your idea to life. Have fun with your characters. Revel in that perfect sentence or paragraph you wrote yesterday, then continue on.

The Backwards Law for writers is about shifting from a place of striving and pressure to a place of flow and acceptance. 

By letting go of the need to control the outcome and embrace the process, we’ll unlock creativity and produce more authentic and fulfilling work.

Have you heard of The Backwards Law? It’s as true for writing as it is for life.