Author Archives: Debbie Burke

About Debbie Burke

Debbie writes the Tawny Lindholm series, Montana thrillers infused with psychological suspense. Her books have won the Kindle Scout contest, the Zebulon Award, and were finalists for the Eric Hoffer Book Award and BestThrillers.com. Her articles received journalism awards in international publications. She is a founding member of Authors of the Flathead and helps to plan the annual Flathead River Writers Conference in Kalispell, Montana. Her greatest joy is mentoring young writers. http://www.debbieburkewriter.com

True Crime Thursday – Kidlit Author Convicted of Husband’s Murder

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by Debbie Burke

In March 2022, Eric Richins died suddenly, two months before his 40th birthday, leaving his three young sons grieving. His obituary described him as a devoted family man married to the “love of his life,” Kouri. His funeral was held at the Henefer (Utah) LDS Church.

After his death, Kouri wrote and self-published a children’s book entitled Are You With Me? She claimed her motive for writing the book was to help her children through their grief but also to help other families dealing with loss of a loved one.

She promoted the book on a Utah radio station. According to the interview, “The book is based on questions that her children asked in the months after their dad died.”

Kouri planned to publish another grief-themed children’s book: Mom, How Far Away is Heaven?

But her literary career was cut short when she was charged with murdering her husband. She was accused of spiking his Moscow Mule with Fentanyl that, according to the autopsy, was five times the lethal dose.

Her motive for that act wasn’t as altruistic as writing a grief support book.

Kouri reportedly believed she would inherit the successful businessman’s estate. She had also taken out multiple life insurance policies on him while having an affair.

But Eric had discovered the love of his life had run up more than a million dollars in debts and he had cut her out of his will years before.

Kouri was charged with insurance fraud, forgery, and aggravated murder for pecuniary gain, as well as attempted murder for a previous unsuccessful attempt to kill Eric on Valentine’s Day, 2022.

The evidence against Kouri included her phones and other devices that showed damning online searches:

“what is a lethal.does.of.fetanayl,” “can cops.uncover deleted.messages iphone,” “women utah prison,” “if someone is poisned what does it go down on the death certificate as,” “death certificate says pending, will life insurance still pay?” and “luxury prisons for the rich in america.”

When they married in 2013, the couple had a prenup agreement that kept Eric’s prior assets separate, including the home the family lived in. Kouri’s financial deceptions included: taking out a quarter-million-dollar home equity line of credit on that residence without Eric’s knowledge; running up charges on his credit accounts; and diverting money that was earmarked to pay taxes. She also changed beneficiaries on a life insurance policy from Eric’s business partner to herself. The insurance company became suspicious and alerted Eric who removed her as beneficiary.  

The Richins’s housekeeper, who received immunity for her testimony, stated that in the months prior to Eric’s death, Kouri asked her repeated times to buy illicit drugs, including Fentanyl. The housekeeper obtained drugs through acquaintances and delivered them to Kouri.

On Valentine’s Day, Kouri left Eric a sandwich in his truck with a “love note.” Soon after he ate it, he broke out in hives, and had trouble breathing. He used an EpiPen to treat himself and reportedly told a friend he believed his wife had tried to kill him.

During the three-week trial, more than 40 witnesses testified for the prosecution. Defense attorney Wendy Lewis claimed the prosecution’s investigation was “sloppy” and “driven by bias.”

“Everything about this investigation was led by [Eric Richins’] family. They started on day one, and they continued until trial,” the defense attorney said. “They are the ones who initially hired and paid for experts. Their private investigator gave information to the police.”

The jury of two women and eight men only took three hours to find Kouri guilty on all counts.

On May 13, 2026, Eric’s 44th birthday, Kouri was sentenced to life without parole.

This video includes the victim impact statements from her sons that their therapists read for the court.

 

Letters she wrote to her sons from prison have reportedly been returned unopened.

The book Are You With Me? has been removed from sale by Amazon. Goodreads still includes reviews of it. The majority are one star.

A big thank you to Lindsey Hughes for alerting me to this true crime story.

~~~

TKZers: Crime writers often joke about worrying their online searches look suspicious to law enforcement. Do you have suggestions for authors doing research that could appear incriminating?

 

 

 

 

 

The ABCs of Avoiding Scams

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by Debbie Burke

Seductive scammers have long targeted authors but, in the past few years, AI tools like Chat GPT, Claude, and Gemini scaled fraudsters’ abilities to reach millions more potential victims. Additionally, they constantly refine their techniques with fresh scam variations and new twists to con authors out of money.

Here’s a list of ABCs to help identify fraudsters:

Address: first, check the sender’s email address. If it’s from gmail.com or other free mail services, it’s likely a scam.

Real marketing companies, publishers, podcasters, etc. use their own domain names, not generic free emails. A genuine contact from a publisher is usually editorsname@publishingcompany.com or agentsname@literaryagency.com.

One scary aspect of AI is that it’s constantly learning and improving techniques. When it discovers that authors recognize gmail.com as a likely fake, it manipulates addresses to appear legitimate.

While writing this post, I received an email supposedly from Mary Altman, Associate Editorial Director at Sourcebooks. There really is a Mary Altman at Sourcebooks but this email wasn’t from her.

The bogus address was sourcebooks@mary-altman.com.

A real email from Sourcebooks would more likely be “maryaltman@sourcebooks.com”

While we’re on A…

Approaches: Scammers approach writers in various ways. Some are outright phony. Others are of questionable value and don’t justify their high costs. Here are a few approaches they offer:

Increase book reviews – yes, everyone needs more reviews but paying for them is risky. That  violates Amazon’s terms and may result in banishment. Amazon removes your book from the sale and prevents you from publishing future work.

Book visibility or discoverability assessment – lofty but vague assurances that they’ll find more readers who will see and buy your book.

Marketing maximization – better positioning on Amazon and other sales outlets, using key words and phrases.

Impersonation of actual editor, agent, well-known author, podcast producer, film director or producer. (see example above about Sourcebooks impersonator).

Book club invitations – the book club is often fake and nonexistent. Or it may be legitimate, but the scammer is falsely using their name and will ask for “donations” to cover expenses. No real book club charges authors.

Blue sky: did the contact come out of the blue sky? Assume it’s a scam.

When an email starts: “I ran across your book…”, “Your book came to my attention…”, or similar phrasing, an AI bot wrote it. Real publishing professionals don’t have time to browse through Amazon or Goodreads book listings, just shopping for the next bestseller.

Also, real publishers don’t offer to republish a book that’s already been published.

Did a famous author or celebrity contact you? 99% chance it’s an impersonator. They claim they want to engage in meaningful dialogue about the writing journey. If you answer, after a couple of exchanges, they’ll do you a special favor and hook you up with their favorite developmental editor or marketing specialist. That’s when the request for money happens.

Always beware of out of the blue contacts.

Compliments: Is the email filled with effusive compliments about your book?

Praise is a powerful aphrodisiac. We all want to hear that someone loves our work.

Scammers use psychological manipulation to their advantage. The more complimentary adjectives and adverbs they pack into the text, the more the writer basks in the warm glow of recognition. Wow, someone finally appreciates my story that I poured my heart and soul into.

Phrases like the following are tipoffs of a scam:  “deeply personal thought-provoking universal questions,” “penetrating insightful exploration of critical life issues and themes,” “emotional resonance that goes to the essence of human existence,” “lingered in my mind and deeply touched my heart long after I finished reading your book.”

Blah, blah, blah…

Due diligence: Check out the sender but DO NOT click on links they provide. Their links lead to phony testimonials or, worse, they may inject malware into your computer.

Do your own independent online investigation. Do they have a website or media presence? Probably little or none.

Always check with reliable trusted sources like:

Writer Beware – For decades, Victoria Strauss has been a tireless watchdog who monitors scams that target writers.

Authors Guild

Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLi)

Jane Friedman

 Engagement: Scammers want to keep you engaged with them. The longer they prolong conversations with you, the better the chance they’ll eventually persuade you to send them money.

The best practice is not to respond at all. If you reply, even to say “no thanks,” they know they have an active email address that they can then share or sell to others. Your inbox will receive more solicitations from other shady senders hoping to get money from you.

Feelings: It’s human nature to want to feel good. Scammers specialize in appealing to author’s emotions. They know which buttons to push to tap into our desires, hopes, and dreams. If their message causes your heart to swell with pride and makes you feel warm and fuzzy all over, they’re counting on your emotions to overcome caution.

Take a step back. Why are they contacting you? What do they want from you? Ask a friend or colleague to take an objective look.

Golden opportunity: Scammers make sweeping statements that imply if you use their services, your dreams can come true. Your book can be showcased at book fairs, festivals, fan events. Their offers sound like promises but upon closer analysis they are vague, generalized platitudes. They’re selling sizzle but there’s no steak.

Recently, a colleague related her close call with impersonators that claimed to represent a writing festival. She paid them $200 by credit card. Then she learned it was a fraud. Fortunately, the credit card company reversed the charge. If she had paid by Zelle, gift card, or wire transfer, she wouldn’t have been able to recover the money.

How: Writers often say, “They must have read my book. How else would they know the characters’ names, their secrets, and plot twists? How else do they know my favorite hobby is [fill in the blank]? How else do they know the inspiration for my book is [fill in the blank]?”

How do they know? AI bots vacuum every detail about you from the book sales page, reviews, social media posts, author website, and other info easily available on the net. They collect data then spin it into a compelling web of flattery, emotional hot buttons, and urgency to convince you to act now to obtain the recognition your talent so richly deserves.

They personalize and custom-tailor solicitations that sound as if they truly know and care about you and your work. The scary part is they can do all that in seconds.

 

Bottom line, they only care about how they can make your money disappear. 

Invitations: Do you want to be interviewed on a podcast? Be the honored guest at a book club? Have your book selected for a curated list of influential titles? These gracious invitations sound like dreams come true.

Not long ago, I received an intriguing email that opened:

“Dear Debbie,

I want to be direct with you because I believe your time deserves that respect.”‘

Okay, that got my attention. It goes on:

“I did not come across your work through an algorithm or a mass submission list. Our curation committee has been conducting a deliberate and rigorous search for voices that our community of readers would not simply enjoy but would genuinely champion, and The Villain’s Journey stopped us in our tracks for one reason above all others. The question you have placed at the very foundation of this guide, whether someone is born bad or learns to become bad, is not simply a craft question for writers. It is one of the oldest and most searingly unresolved questions in human understanding, and the fact that you have built an entire framework for creating compelling antagonists around that tension gives this book a philosophical depth that most writing craft guides never come close to achieving.”

Now I’m suspicious but still curious because Linda anticipated my likely resistance to her pitch and attempted to overcome it. 

“My name is Linda Hole. I am a long standing and active member of The Perks of Being a Book Addict, one of Goodreads most engaged reading communities with over 37,000 passionate members worldwide. I currently serve as Selection Committee Chair, a role built specifically to identify authors whose work deserves sustained, meaningful attention from a deeply invested reader community. We are not a promotional platform.”

When I checked, I found there is indeed a Goodreads subgroup with that name with 37,000 followers. But when I scrolled down their page a ways, a message read: “We DO NOT contact authors via email and do not offer book promotion in exchange for money! (Every such attempt is a scam!)”

Suspicions confirmed but I kept reading because of a fresh angle I hadn’t seen before:

“We are currently finalising our 2026 Year of Impact project, a highly selective 12 month Managed Reader Experience through which we champion a cohort of just 15 authors across our full community infrastructure. Our focus is entirely on building genuine lasting readership rather than surface level visibility, and as we are now in mid May we are closing out our final Official Selections before the cycle launches.We believe your voice belongs in this conversation and we would be honoured to explore whether one of our remaining Residency spots is the right fit for you. If you are open to learning more, I would welcome the opportunity to walk you through exactly what this experience looks like for your title specifically.”

Wow, they’re offering me a residency. And they use British spelling. I should be honored to attract the attention of this prestigious organization.

I wasn’t and I didn’t respond.

A couple days later, Linda reached out again:

“I wanted to gently check in as I have not yet heard back from you since my last message. I understand you may be busy or still considering the opportunity.”

Uh no, Linda, you haven’t heard back because I don’t respond to scammers.

Now she applies pressure with the urgent deadline:

“That said, our final selections for the 2026 Year of Impact project are closing this month, and I would hate for your work to miss the window simply because we did not connect at the right time.
If you are still open to learning more, I would be glad to send over our Official Selection Overview Document so you can see exactly what the residency involves.”

I still didn’t respond. Gee, aren’t I rude?

Linda tried one last gentle nudge then gave up.

This solicitation interested me because the tone was more sophisticated and targeted than previous scam emails. It indicated that AI bots are constantly learning and refining their approaches.

That’s why authors must stay alert to new tricks to defend themselves from increasingly convincing and seductive scams.

However, some fraudsters may have outsmarted themselves. Next post, we’ll look at ways to turn the tables on scammers and use their words to our own advantage.

Stay tuned…

 

TKZers: How many scam emails do you receive per week? Answer in the comments. The highest score receives the coveted “Overflowing Trash Bin Award.”

 

 

 

~~~

The Villain’s Journey stopped Linda Hole in her tracks. To find out if my book  addresses “the oldest and most searingly unresolved questions in human understanding,” click on this link. 

Round Up at the Montana Writers Rodeo

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by Debbie Burke

In May, my pardner in crime Leslie Budewitz and I saddled up her trusty Subaru and hit the dusty trail. Our destination: the 2026 Montana Writers Rodeo in Helena where we were both speaking.

A couple of years ago, I wrote a post about this fun boutique conference and was delighted to reconnect this year with director Mindy Peltier, founder Pamela Mencher, and chief wrangler Pearl Allen.

Because the conference is affiliated with the Helena Avenue Theatre (HAT), it welcomes the drama community and playwrights. During the weekend, in addition to craft presentations, actors performed scenes from plays written by members.

The Rodeo also encourages young writers. Friday evening, we were treated to imaginative short works read by three authors in middle and high school. I recognized a young man who’d also been at the event in 2024. Afterward I talked with them and expressed admiration for their bravery, standing onstage and baring their souls in front of an audience of strangers. I could never have done that at their age.

On Saturday morning, the kids were back, listening attentively. They asked questions that kept me and other speakers on our toes.

Mindy Peltier, MT Writers Rodeo Chair

Meet conference director/whirlwind Mindy Peltier. After raising and homeschooling six kids, Mindy knows how to cheerlead. On Friday afternoon, she kicked off the conference by encouraging attendees to become involved with a critique group or writing community. Improvement happens by learning new skills and hearing feedback from others. Critique groups offer objectivity, suggestions, and fresh viewpoints the author may not have considered. They foster creativity along with accountability. Perhaps more importantly, close groups not only help writing, they become a supportive family.

 

An unexpected highlight was speaker Allison Whitmer, Montana Film Commissioner. Working for the Department of Commerce, Allison’s big score was lassoing the Taylor Sheridan series Yellowstone, filmed in Montana. The franchise has brought multi-millions to the state in tourism, jobs, and production.

As film commissioner, Allison arranges everything from livestock to locally sourced food and cooks to prepare meals for cast and crew. Need lodging? She finds hotels, B&Bs, and homes to rent. How about extras, sound techs, carpenters, electricians, plumbers, and other tradespeople? She’s got ’em.

Want to film on state or federal land? She facilitates permits and also negotiates with private owners for use of their property.

Need money to make a film? In April, the Big Sky Film Grant awarded $970,000 to 22 different projects from shorts to feature-length movies and TV programs. Productions are expected to spend more than $13 million in local rural communities.

At the Friday evening buffet, I chatted with Allison about her fascinating job. She is a writer herself and helps creatives and nonprofit groups like HAT and the Montana Writers Rodeo bring their events to life. Wonder if she needs an assistant?

(BTW, the buffet desserts featured tiny typewriters made from peanut butter, Mindy’s fun, tasty touch.)

Leslie Budewitz

Leslie Budewitz‘s keynote included surprises I’d never known despite being friends for more than 25 years. Although she’s published 19 books and won three Agatha awards, I learned she once doubted her own creativity. While she has great abilities in organization, research, and planning, she didn’t think she was creative, believing “creative women wore long flowy things with scarves and beads and complicated earrings,” not Levis and cowboy boots.

“I’d put unnecessary limitations on my concept of creativity,” she explained. “I suspect many of you have done the same thing.” Then she heard a talk by Professor Gerard Puccio that revised her thinking.

She compared two artists, Norman Rockwell and Pablo Picasso, who expressed creativity in vastly different ways. She encouraged the audience to embrace their unique individuality without limiting themselves by thinking I could never do that.

Authors often experience “What if I suck” days and Leslie reassured the audience that’s normal and expected for creative people. To help get past those discouraging days, she recommends becoming part of an active writing group. She credits involvement with the writing community as a major contributor to her success and opportunities.

Playwright/director/college instructor Ross Peter Nelson presented an entertaining workshop on dialogue writing skills with illustrations and audience participation. He projected excerpts from several plays on the screen and had audience members take turns reading a few lines. This exercise demonstrated how different tone, attitudes, accents, and subtext add to the richness of dialogue. On Saturday evening, a scene from one of Ross’s many plays was performed onstage by actors.

Award-winning speculative fiction author Kim Vandel spoke about techniques to create “suspension of disbelief” for readers. To write convincingly about sci-fi/fantasy characters and situations, she recommends using the five senses that readers can identify with. She employs the “Iceberg Principle of Worldbuilding” to reveal significant, specific details about the fantasy universe rather than overwhelming amounts of description. She also talked about the importance of emotion and awareness of brain chemistry to keep readers engaged.

Kim opened my eyes to the varied universe of speculative fiction with this slide:

Spec fiction genres courtesy of Kim Vandel

My talk was “The Hero’s Journey vs. the Villain’s Journey-How They’re Different Yet Alike.” In the slide show, I used film examples to compare and contrast two journeys: Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, and Michael Corleone from The Godfather trilogy. The audience asked challenging questions and seemed to like the presentation because they bought all The Villain’s Journey paperbacks, plus a number of my thrillers. I was glad to take home a lighter load of books than I’d brought.

Jim Bell’s ears should have been burning during the conference because his name came up repeatedly. During the panel discussion with all speakers, most of us said we own his books and recommend them to improve craft skills.

May snow on roof outside my window

 

Mindy hosted Leslie, Kim, and me at her lovely log home in the forest. Sunday morning, I woke to a skiff of snow on the roof outside my bedroom window.

Even though May 17th is supposed to be well into spring, Montana weather never pays attention to the calendar.

 

 

 

Sunday breakfast with Kim, Scott, Leslie, and Mindy

Mindy’s husband Scott treated us to a delicious breakfast of bacon and eggs and wonderful espresso coffee. The Peltiers deserve five stars on Yelp for gracious hospitality.

Reconnecting with friends and meeting new writers made the Rodeo weekend enjoyable, educational, and inspiring.

I especially appreciated that Leslie drove the entire 400-mile round trip. Thankfully the roads were mostly clear except occasional sleet and rain, often with sun shining through clouds at the same time. That’s springtime in the Rockies.

 

Extra bonus: We brainstormed during the journey and Leslie came up with a solution to a legal quandary in my WIP!

All in all, a fun and successful roundup!

~~~

TKZers: Any boutique writing conferences you’d like to recommend?

~~~

 

Want to build a fascinating villain or antagonist? Contact me at this link about upcoming zoom workshops. And read The Villain’s Journey – How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate.

Amazon

Other booksellers 

True Crime Thursday – “Bear” is Accessory to Insurance Fraud

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Yathin S Krishnappa, CC BY-SA 3.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

by Debbie Burke

You’ve probably seen TV commercials that warn your auto insurance may not cover damage by wild animals.

Bear attacks on vehicles do happen. Here’s a news story from Colorado: 

In the video, I don’t know whether the humans’ actions to free the perpetrator should be considered “rescue” or “aiding and abetting a felon.”

Today’s true crime takes bear attacks to a whole ‘nother level: insurance fraud.

The hilarious Dave Barry sounded the alert on this case.

According to the California Department of Insurance, multiple insurance companies paid out more than $140K for damage supposedly caused by a bear to three different vehicles…on the same night, in the same Lake Arrowhead location.

What are the odds?

According to an April 2026 press release from the California Department of Insurance:

“The defendants used a person in a bear suit to stage fake attacks on high-end vehicles, then submitted fraudulent claims seeking payouts from insurance companies.”

Security cam video was provided to various insurers to support claims from three different vehicle owners of interior damage to a 2010 Rolls Royce, a 2015 Mercedes G63 AMG, and a 2022 Mercedes E350 on the same night in January 2024.

Photo credit: California Dept. of Insurance

 

 

Investigators later became suspicious of the coincidence. The California Department of Fish and Wildlife determined the “bear” was actually a human in a bear suit. The furry costume and metal claws were found in the home of the suspects. The claws are cooking tools to shred barbecued meat.

 

Credit: California Department of Insurance

 

 

 

Hint: Real bears don’t leave neat, evenly spaced scratch marks.

Alfiya Zuckerman, 39, of Valley Village, Ruben Tamrazian, 26, of Glendale, and Vahe Muradkhanyan, 32, of Glendale each pleaded no contest and were sentenced to 180 days in jail (weekend jail time), two years supervised probation, and restitution. A fourth suspect, Ararat Chirkinian, 39, of Glendale, faces a preliminary hearing in September 2026.

TKZers: Comments on this furry fraud?

Motional Intelligence – New Tool to Build Characters

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by Debbie Burke

Spell check thinks the word “motional” is a typo. But it isn’t.

Motional Intelligence: The Power of Movement in Leadership is the title of a new book by Dr. Scott Allison and Dr. George Goethals, professors emeriti at University of Richmond. Their premise is that humans register first impressions of others, not from physical appearance nor what they say, but from how they move.

They write: “Motion is core to social interaction. Before anyone speaks, a conversation has already begun…Speech came late. Motion came first.”  Motional intelligence sounded like a great potential tool for writers to build more interesting characters. So I reached out to Scott Allison to learn more.

Here’s our interview:

Debbie Burke: Thanks for agreeing to talk with me about Motional Intelligence. Would you please explain this concept to Kill Zone readers?

Scott Allison: Yes indeed. Here’s our definition of Motional Intelligence, which we abbreviate as MI. MI is the capacity to use one’s body movements intentionally to communicate and influence others, to accurately perceive, decode, and interpret the body movements of others across contexts, and to regulate one’s own movements – and one’s interpretations of others – in response to shifting social demands. So you can see there are 3 aspects of MI – an expressive component (how we display our own motions), an interpretive component (how we decode others’ motions), and a regulatory component (how we plan and adjust our motions to situational demands). We do these three things effortlessly and often without conscious awareness.

DB: What inspired you to write this book?

SA: One day, somewhere between burgers and coffee, my co-author George Goethals and I shared an epiphany: everything we were analyzing – heroism, leadership, empathy, influence, conflict – depended less on what people said and more on how they moved. Yet psychology had no comprehensive framework for this. This book began the moment we realized that these motions are not incidental to human life; they are human life. According to evolutionary biology, speech came late, and motion came first. George and I just had to write about this!

DB: You talk about familiar ways to measure intelligence like IQ (logical reasoning, problem-solving) and EI (emotional intelligence) but you say MI (motional intelligence) is different. Can you expand on that?

SA: Motional intelligence (MI) is one of many aspects of overall intelligence. MI is not the same as emotional intelligence (EI). EI centers on the perception, regulation, and expression of emotions, typically through facial cues, vocal tone, and affective appraisal. MI, by contrast, isolates a different communicative channel entirely: the dynamic language of body movement.

DB: Is “body language” the same as motional signals?

SA: Yes, in the sense that we use our bodies to communicate, to persuade, and to trigger emotional responses in others.

DB: What character/personality traits are revealed through MI?

SA: Pretty much every personality trait than humans possess can be revealed through motion. Kindness is revealed through a soft posture, a smile, a tilt of the head, and the reaching out of a hand. Dominance is revealed through very different posture, facial expression, and use of limbs. Before anyone speaks, a conversation has already begun. A stranger’s shoulders soften as you approach; a friend leans in before offering a word; a colleague’s foot angles toward the door long before they admit they’re late for another meeting. We live inside a constant choreography of meaning – signals given and received, often without our awareness.

DB: Do you have ideas how writers could use MI to bring fictional characters to life?

SA: Authors of fiction can use MI to animate characters in ways that transcend dialogue and emotional description. Rather than merely telling readers what a character feels, writers can reveal personality, motives, status, intentions, and inner conflict through patterns of movement—posture, gait, gesture, rhythm, pacing, stillness, spatial orientation, and bodily timing. A character with high MI, for example, may subtly mirror another person’s posture to build trust, regulate the emotional climate of a room through calm and deliberate movement, or communicate dominance through economy of motion rather than overt aggression. Conversely, low MI might appear in awkward timing, invasive spatial behavior, rigid posture, excessive fidgeting, or an inability to interpret others’ bodily signals accurately. Fiction writers can also use MI developmentally: a character’s evolving movement patterns may symbolize psychological transformation, growing confidence, moral corruption, intimacy, trauma, or heroic maturation. In this way, bodily motion becomes a narrative language that conveys character identity and relational dynamics at a pre-verbal level, making fictional people feel vividly alive and authentic.

DB: Writers are advised to show, don’t tell. Can you suggest how MI might be used to show relationships between characters? How about to show their conflicts?

SA: MI offers fiction writers a powerful “show, don’t tell” toolkit for revealing relationships and conflict through bodily movement rather than explicit explanation. Healthy relationships can be conveyed through movement synchrony—characters mirroring posture, walking in step, sharing relaxed rhythms, anticipating one another’s actions, or comfortably occupying shared space—thereby signaling trust, intimacy, affection, or familiarity. Romantic attraction may appear in subtle orientation cues, lingering gestures, or softened movement, while friendship may emerge through playful physical ease and unguarded posture. Conflict, though, often disrupts bodily coordination through avoidance, rigid posture, pacing, competing movement rhythms, territorial spacing, or emotional stillness. Writers can also show relational transformation over time by altering these movement patterns, allowing bodily synchrony, distance, hesitation, or tension to function as a nonverbal narrative language that makes fictional relationships feel psychologically authentic and vividly alive.

DB: I can imagine ways that misreads of a character’s MI could lead to misinterpretations and plot complications. You’re also a film expert and co-author of the book Reel Heroes and Villains. Can you give movie examples where MI (or lack thereof) was instrumental in driving the plot?

SA: Absolutely. MI is often central to cinematic storytelling because film is an inherently movement-based medium. In The Dark Knight, Heath Ledger’s Joker possesses a dark form of MI. He constantly manipulates spatial dynamics, bodily unpredictability, and movement rhythm to destabilize others psychologically. His erratic gestures, invasive proximity, asymmetrical posture, and sudden stillness generate tension and fear, driving much of the film’s emotional chaos. In The Devil Wears Prada, Meryl Streep’s Miranda Priestly uses highly regulated MI to project authority. Her economy of motion, precise pacing, controlled stillness, and minimal gestures create an aura of dominance that shapes every interaction around her. In Napoleon Dynamite, Napolean’s social awkwardness emerges through stiff posture, delayed reactions, unusual gait, and poor synchrony with peers, creating both comedy and emotional isolation.

DB: Where can readers find your new book?

SA: Our MI book is available on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. There is a kindle version, too.

DB: Thank you, Scott, for exploring this interesting topic.

SA: My pleasure and thank you for showing an interest!

~~~

TKZers: Can you think of film characters who use MI especially effectively? Do you see ways MI might help your work in progress?

~~~

Dr. Scott Allison and Dr. George Goethals graciously gave me major assistance with the psychology of villains for The Villain’s Journey: How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate. 

Please check out The Villain’s Journey at: 

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Bookshop.org

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First Page Critique – Digging Up the Dirt

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by Debbie Burke

Today let’s welcome another Brave Author who submitted a first page for critique, genre described as “Comedic (Cosy – not so cosy) Crime.” Please read and enjoy then we’ll open the discussion.

Title: Digging up the dirt

‘Some secrets won’t stay buried.’ Myrtle’s mouth twitches, not quite a smile; there’s a malicious glee in her delivery.

Some secrets won’t stay buried — and I’m looking at the person most likely to make sure of it.

Her words land like a promise.

She’s itching to unearth what’s been hidden. To watch what crawls out and enjoy the look on everyone’s faces when it does.

She’s insane to believe that by betraying us she won’t expose herself.

Why couldn’t our investor, predator, blackmailer — call her what you like — have been Bob? Someone with the temperament of a Labrador, willing to please for a mere pat on his head.

Myrtle’s opportunistic and slippery as a catfish hauled from our Riviersvalleij river.

‘When did Constable Maritz take Sylvie away?’ I ask.

‘This morning.’ Her smile deepens.

I control the urge to slap her smug face; demand back the purloined shop keys and replace the locks.

She crams a fat wedge of Sylvie’s banana-bread into her mouth, then swigs back the dregs of a cappuccino. Both of which she’s helped herself to after letting herself into our shop.

I look around, spying the basket of homemade nougat wrapped in silvery cellophane, its ends twisted by Sylvie’s deft hands. The nougat has the same stretchiness as the Prestik that glues my scribbled genre labels on the shopworn bookshelves. Our combined distinctive minutiae are everywhere. How dare Myrtle think she’s welcome to claim part of our bookshop cafe.

It’s ours — mine and Sylvie’s.

Her earlier threatening suggestion that Sylvie’s doomed to spend time behind bars and I’ll be grateful for her help has lit an inferno inside me. The old me might have wilted, but she’s underestimated the power of our bond. If we’re going down, I’m bloody well dragging Myrtle with us.

Constable Maritz has carted Sylvie off to confiscate a sample of our dog food. Someone complained food isn’t fit for consumption.

This batch is to have ‘Happy belly – Healthy heart’ as a tagline. Sylvie’d conjured that up based on the resveratrol found in red wine. This time, the, shall I call it meat, lay marinating in a vat of wine for seven days. Let’s pray Sylvie didn’t claim the meat to be pork or horse, or whatever’s usually used in raw dog food. That would be a misrepresentation.

It’s the source of the meat that’s the problem.

It’ll land us in jail.

~~~

Kudos on a flash-bang first sentence! Great job beginning the scene in media res. The conflict is immediately shown without any backstory dump. Myrtle’s character is quickly established as gloating, threatening, and manipulative.

I suggest a slight rewrite:

‘Some secrets won’t stay buried.’ Myrtle’s mouth twitches, not quite a smile; there’s a with malicious glee in her delivery.

Some secrets won’t stay buried — and I’m looking at the person most likely to make sure they’re uncovered of it.

Repetition is not needed and dilutes the impact of the compelling first sentence.

The following line packs a lot into a few words:

“She’s insane to believe that by betraying us she won’t expose herself.”

This describes the situation (an apparent conspiracy), the stakes (if their secrets are exposed, they’re at risk), and a serious rift among characters. Good job! 

The voice is humorous and snarky with high tension lurking just below the surface. The author classified this story as “Comedic (Cosy – not so cosy) Crime” and that accurately nails the tone.

However, the next paragraph lost me.

“Why couldn’t our investor, predator, blackmailer — call her what you like — have been Bob? Someone with the temperament of a Labrador, willing to please for a mere pat on his head.”

Investor, predator, blackmailer is an excellent summation of Myrtle that explains her involvement.

But who the heck is Bob?

That distracted and confused me. My mind went off on a tangent wondering what role Bob plays and even thinking he might be the dog.

Then the focus shifts back to Myrtle who’s as “slippery as a catfish hauled from our Riviersvalleij river.” Wonderful description but it feels overdone, coming right on top of the comparison with the eager-to-please Lab.

At this point, the author needs to slow down a bit and let the reader catch a breath. Give them time to become grounded in this world.

Too much backstory slows pace, but too little confuses the reader.

I suggest cutting the paragraph about Bob and saving it for later. For now, keep the focus on Myrtle and the narrator.

The next paragraphs do a fine job of slipping in the setting without stopping the action, but tend to be a bit too complex in places.

“I control the urge to slap her smug face; demand back the purloined shop keys and replace the locks.”

That requires the reader to shift chronological gears mid-sentence. In the present, the narrator wants to slap her. In the past, it’s implied Myrtle has stolen the keys and let herself in. In the future, the narrator plans to change the locks.

Those details are good because they further build Myrtle’s character, as well as establish the narrator’s resentment. But I had to reread the sentence a couple of times to understand it. I suggest simplifying the chronology and getting rid of the semicolon.

Here’s another sentence that’s hard to comprehend: 

“Her earlier threatening suggestion that Sylvie’s doomed to spend time behind bars and I’ll be grateful for her help has lit an inferno inside me.”

I suggest breaking this into shorter sentences:

Myrtle’s threats light an inferno inside me. How dare she imply Sylvie could go to prison, then expect me to be grateful for her help? 

The next two sentences effectively summarize the narrator’s character, relationships, motivations, and goals:

“The old me might have wilted, but she’s underestimated the power of our bond. If we’re going down, I’m bloody well dragging Myrtle with us.”

Well done!

Then the author reveals a provocative detail: the mystery meat used to make dog food sold by the shop is illegal.

Hmm. I can’t help but think of the barbecue in Fried Green Tomatoes.

I’m curious about the setting. The use of single quotes for dialogue and the spelling of “cosy” signals British or Australian. “Prestik” is a rubber-based, reusable, adhesive putty made in South Africa. Eventually I’d like to know more about the location but the plot is intriguing enough that I’m willing to wait.

A dynamite first sentence grabs the reader’s attention. The situation unfolds quickly with blackmail, betrayal, and potential criminal charges. As a reader, I want to learn answers that may turn out to be gruesome.

Brave Author, I really enjoyed the dark, humorous tone of this page, but I suggest you slow down a bit and simplify some sentences. You pack in so much detail that, at times, it becomes overwhelming and a little confusing.

Overall, it’s well written and intriguing. 

Thanks for submitting!

~~~

TKZers: what is your impression of this first page? Do you want to dig deeper in the dirt?

~~~

 

“Authors of any genre will benefit by using this book to take a deeper dive into the antagonist of their story.” — James Scott Bell

“You will certainly find insight and inspiration to make your villains leap off the page and haunt your readers’ dreams.” – Christopher Vogler, The Writer’s Journey: Mythic Structure for Writers

 

 

Build multi-dimensional antagonists who fascinate and frighten readers in The Villain’s Journey – How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate. 

Buy at Bookshop.org

Also in paperback and hardcover at 

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True Crime Thursday – Blurry Line Between Fact and Fiction

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by Debbie Burke

Here’s a familiar trope in crime fiction: an author protagonist details a fictional murder that the author is later accused of. The book they wrote is used as evidence to prove their guilt or innocence.

Today’s True Crime story is a real-life case that carries that trope to the extreme.

In 2000, a Polish businessman named Dariusz Janiszewski disappeared. Four weeks later, his body was pulled from the River Oder near Wroklaw in southwest Poland. He had been tortured and tied with a rope noose around his neck that fastened to his ankles, pulling him into a painful backward cradle shape. If he struggled against the bonds, the noose would tighten, strangling him.

According to a scholarly paper (public domain) by Katarzyna Struzińska entitled “The Murderer as Writer, Storyteller and Protagonist: The Case of Krystian Bala”:

“The autopsy revealed that Janiszewski most probably died because of ligature strangulation; however, owing to some indicators showing that he was still alive when someone dropped him into the river, the possibility of death by drowning was not excluded [34]. Furthermore, the traces left on the deceased’s body showed that he had been beaten and starved for several days before he died.”

The gruesome crime shocked the community but there were no leads. The case went cold for several years.

Then in 2003 an author named Krystian Bala self-published a grisly novel entitled Amok that described a murder with specific details similar to Janiszewski’s death. The protagonist was named “Chris”, a variation on “Krystian.” Chris was portrayed as an arrogant narcissistic sadist who pushed beyond the limits of social, religious, moral, and legal boundaries.

A detective named Jacek Wroblewski had been working the unsolved cold case. When he learned about Bala’s book, he pursued that line of investigation, gathered some damning circumstantial evidence, and questioned Bala.

The alleged motive was jealousy for an affair between Janiszewski and Bala’s wife. A polygraph was inconclusive.

Bala reportedly confessed to the murder but then recanted. 

Per Polish law, he was released after 48 hours because of insufficient evidence.

Bala made public accusations against the police, claiming he’d been kidnapped, a plastic bag placed over his head, and tortured during questioning. His claims were disproved but the media had already kicked into high gear. The sensational case went viral with articles in Europe as well as international publications including The Guardian and Time.com.

Without physical proof or eyewitnesses, the detective continued to collect more circumstantial evidence. Phone calls to the victim shortly before the murder were traced back to Bala. He had also done online research about hanging and strangulation. Within days of the murder, Bala had sold Janizewski’s stolen phone through an internet auction site.

Meanwhile Bala vehemently protested his innocence, claiming an “oppressive police and justice system” had “treat[ed] the book as if it was a literal autobiography rather than a piece of fiction.”

In 2008, an in-depth account by David Grann was published in the New Yorker after Bala’s trial. Grann examined Bala’s background, influences, and beliefs. It’s a long article but gives considerable context detailing why many people were convinced of Bala’s guilt.

Grann’s article quotes Bala’s friend and former classmate Lotar Rasinski:

“He would tell these tall stories about himself,” Rasinski says. “If he told one person, and that person then told someone else, who told someone else, it became true. It existed in the language.” Rasinski adds, “Krystian even had a term for it. He called it ‘mytho-creativity.’ ”

Struzińska’s paper observes:

“Bala’s case might be one of the first stories that drew global attention to such a possibility of crossing the border between facts and fiction; nevertheless, this case of a writer-murder is not one-of-a-kind. For instance, in 2018 world media extensively covered the story of Nancy Crampton-Brophy, an American romance novelist, author of the novel The Wrong Husband and the essay How to Murder Your Husband, who was accused of killing her spouse, and in 2017 there was similar coverage of the case of Liu Yongbiao, a Chinese author (e.g., of the novel The Guilty Secret), who was sentenced to death for murdering four people after a 20-year-old cold case was solved [cf. 14, 17, 23, 26].”

During Bala’s 2007 trial, the court decided his book couldn’t be treated as evidence but still found him guilty based on other circumstantial evidence. He was sentenced to 25 years. He appealed and the case was retried, again resulting in conviction. He continued to protest, ultimately presenting his case to the Supreme Court of the Republic of Poland. They decided against him, which ended his legal recourse.

The case inspired Dateline-style true crime shows in Europe. Grann’s New Yorker article was reportedly optioned for film.

Despite the publicity, Struzińska’s paper says Bala admitted his book only sold a few thousand copies. He claimed to be writing a second book while in prison but apparently it has not been published.

Grann’s article quotes Bala as saying:

“I’m truly convinced that one day my book will be appreciated,” he said. “History teaches that some works of art have to wait ages before they are recognized.”

Bala achieved notoriety but the jury’s still out on the author’s “work of art.”

~~~

At TKZ, we often joke about police knocking on our doors based on our internet research.

As a writer, how consciously do you draw the line between fact and fiction?

~~~

 

In The Villain’s Journey-How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate, discover fictional and real-world villains to inspire your own stories.

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Pardon My Paranoia – Are Nosy Bots Reading Our Emails?

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by Debbie Burke

 

Recently I had a disturbing email experience.

For some months, circumstances had prevented the five members of my critique group from meeting face to face. So we began exchanging group emails to bring each other up to date.

Since we’re friends as well as writing colleagues, our emails often include personal information about families, friends, dogs, health, etc.

With five people chiming in, a recent email chain became quite long.

Then one member received a pop-up notice at the top of her gmail that gave an “AI Overview” summarizing each person’s contributions to the discussion.

Where the &$%# did that come from??? How did a bot gain access to our emails?

Our conversations included deeply personal medical information about ourselves, family, and friends such as…

Who’s struggling with symptoms that doctors can’t diagnose? Who needs heart or brain surgery? And so on.

Private, personal, confidential conversations among close friends.

Out of nowhere, an AI bot gave us a nice, neat, efficient, accurate summary.

How helpful. But intrusive as hell.

How did this nosy bot access, read, and summarize our discussions?

Had an update from Gmail changed settings to allow AI summaries?

Click the following link for an article from HuffPo that describes what probably happened and reasons why we might not want a nosy little bot to read our emails.

More insights from Proton.me:

“Today, companies like Google are expanding AI access to private communications such as email, framing it as productivity and convenience. But Gemini operates under its own terms, making it harder to distinguish what data is handled by Gmail itself and what is processed by AI systems.”

If you don’t want Gemini AI summaries on Gmail, here’s how to change “smart” settings: help page.

When I checked my settings, I had already turned off “smart” features. Yet the AI summary still showed up. Hmmm. 

That leads me to believe someone else hadn’t disabled their smart features, which opened access to our Gmails.

***TKZ’s tech experts, please feel free share your knowledge in the comments.***

What does that mean for medical and legal professionals who send and receive confidential records? If a recipient doesn’t know to shut off their device’s smart features, can Gemini suck up private information for its own commercial use?

Doesn’t that violate HIPAA rules and attorney-client confidentiality???

I foresee class action lawsuits from victims damaged by confidentiality breaches.

What about writers?

We routinely email manuscripts to agents and editors. We also exchange manuscripts for beta reading, critique, editing, etc. Those manuscripts are copyrighted as soon as the author commits them to tangible form, on paper, digital file, etc. That protects our work, right?

Not necessarily.

You may have heard about the $1.5 billion judgment against Anthropic for using illegally obtained copyrighted books to train Claude, their large language model (LLM) AI program.

The award was a win for authors, right? Uh, only under limited conditions.

To qualify for compensation in the Anthropic settlement, their books had to be registered with the US Copyright Office, not just copyrighted.

Typically, traditional publishers register copyrights but some companies didn’t. Their authors were out of luck.

Also typically, copyrights are registered upon publication, after edits, rewrites, additions, etc.

That leaves many manuscripts in limbo.

What if we email manuscripts to agents or editors? Our work is copyrighted but, while it’s under submission, it’s probably not yet registered. Can these be vacuumed up to train LLMs?

Currently, regulation of AI’s use is virtually nonexistent. Laws haven’t caught up with constantly changing developments. Legislation to control and limit use is likely years away, maybe even decades.

Meanwhile, the ease, convenience, and efficiency of technology has seduced us into giving up privacy and confidentiality.

I turned off annoying Gemini intrusions by changing settings on my own computer, but I can’t control others’ devices. And of course I trust Google as much as that nice Nigerian prince who’s sending me millions. 

Yes, I could switch to a different email server but that would cut off my main contact point as an author.

I don’t know how to deal with this except to be more cautious of what I write in emails.

Back in 2019, I wrote about text messages that I naively thought were private. Then I learned Facebook, Amazon, Google, etc. had accessed my texts to send advertising related to them. Stealth permissions buried deep in the phone’s terms and conditions grant access to third parties. By using the phone, you agree to the conditions, even when they’re next to impossible to find.

Six years later, Gmail is in a similar state where the onus is on the user to go extra miles to opt out of invasions into privacy.

This reminds me of wise advice from an attorney mentioned in the 2019 post: “Don’t put in writing anything you wouldn’t want to be read in open court.”

~~~

TKZers: Have you run into Gemini’s email summaries? What do you do to maintain online privacy? Or does that no longer matter?

~~~

You can’t believe your eyes. Can investigator Tawny Lindholm and attorney Tillman Rosenbaum save an innocent woman’s life after deep fake videos show the world she’s guilty? Find out in Deep Fake Double Down, winner of BookLife’s best mystery contest.

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Cause and Effect – Guest Post by Lindsey Hughes AKA The Pitchmaster

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by Debbie Burke

Recently I read an outstanding article by Pitchmaster Lindsey Hughes about the importance of cause and effect in story momentum. Her words really hit home so I invited her to share her wisdom with Kill Zone readers.

Lindsey Hughes, Pitchmaster

 

Welcome to The Zone, Lindsey!

Cause and Effect: The Story Chain Reaction

A story is not just a string of things that happen. A story is a chain reaction.

This happens, therefore that happens.

  • A character makes a choice, therefore something changes.
  • A secret is revealed, therefore a relationship blows up.
  • A plan fails, therefore the hero has to try something riskier, scarier, or stupider.

That is cause and effect.

And when it is working, your story feels inevitable. It pulls the reader or viewer forward because every scene creates the next one. The audience does not have to be dragged through the story. They lean in because they feel the momentum.

When cause and effect is weak, the opposite happens.

Your story starts to feel episodic. Random. Wobbly. Things happen because you, the writer, need them to happen, not because the characters, stakes, and previous events naturally created them. The audience may not always be able to name the problem, but they feel it.

Story Momentum = Cause and Effect

Cause and effect is the principle that each important event in your story should grow out of something that came before it.

Not: And then this happened. And then this happened. And then this happened.

Because: this happened, the character did this. Because they did this, things got worse. Because things got worse, they made a bigger choice.

That is story momentum. A strong story does not just have events. It has connected events.

Consequences ➡️ Escalation ➡️ Pressure = Story Momentum

Readers and viewers keep going because they want to know what happens next.

If your hero sends the reckless email, kisses the wrong person, and opens the forbidden door, we want the fireworks.

Cause creates effect.
Effect becomes the next cause.
That next cause creates a bigger effect.

Now your story has rhythm, ratcheting tension, and building suspense.

Think dominoes, not beads on a string

A weak plot is often a bead necklace. Pretty scenes, one after another, threaded together because they all belong to the same story.

A strong plot is a domino line. Each piece knocks into the next.

That does not mean every scene must be loud, explosive, or full of car chases. Quiet stories need cause and effect just as much as thrillers do. In a romance, one honest conversation may trigger a breakup, which triggers distance, which triggers longing, which triggers a reckless declaration in the rain. In a mystery, one missed clue can lead to a false accusation, which drives away an ally, which gives the villain more room to operate.

The genre changes. The principle does not.

How Writers Lose Cause and Effect

Cause and effect is one of those craft elements that sounds obvious until you are 175 pages into a draft, three cups of coffee deep, and your heroine has somehow ended up in Prague with a knife and a new boyfriend.

A few common problems:

1. You are thinking in scenes, not in consequences.​
You know you want the breakup scene, the chase scene, the kiss scene, the courtroom scene. Wonderful. But if those scenes are not triggered by what came before, they feel placed instead of earned.

2. Your character is not driving the action.​
If the plot keeps happening to your protagonist, instead of being shaped by your protagonist’s choices, cause and effect get mushy and your story stalls.

3. You are using information as a shortcut.​
A clue appears. A person arrives. A stranger reveals exactly what the hero needs to know. Convenient? Yes. Satisfying? No.

At the end of each major scene, ask: What changed because of this?

If the answer is not much, the scene may be static.

Then ask: What does this scene cause?

If the answer is nothing in particular, you may not have cause and effect. You may just have a sequence.

A sequence is not enough. A murder happens. Then the detective visits the widow. Then he talks to the neighbor. Then he gets coffee. Then he finds a clue. That is a sequence.

Instead, a murder happens. Because the detective suspects the widow, he pushes too hard. Because he pushes too hard, she shuts down and lies. Because she lies, he follows the wrong lead. Because he follows the wrong lead, the killer gets more time.

The Secret Ingredient: Character Choice

The strongest cause-and-effect chains usually grow out of character decisions, not random external events.

Yes, storms, accidents, and betrayals can launch or complicate a story. But what makes a plot feel rich is when the protagonist’s own choices create the mess. That is where drama lives.

  • Your hero refuses help because he is proud.
  • Your heroine hides the truth because she is ashamed.
  • Your villain overplays his hand because he is arrogant.

Those choices cause consequences. Those consequences force new choices. That is not just plot. That is plot married to character, which is where the sparks really fly.

Cause and effect not only holds your structure together. It is revealing who these people are under pressure.

Check Your Scenes for Cause and Effect

Take your scenes and connect them using one of these phrases:

  • Because of that…
  • Therefore…
  • But then…

Your heroine misses the meeting.
Because of that, her boss gives the project to her rival.
Because of that, she tries to prove herself another way.
But then, that choice backfires and costs her the client.
Because of that, she has to team up with the one person she cannot stand.

See how quickly that creates movement?

It also exposes weak links. If you cannot connect one scene to the next with a believable because of that or therefore, you may have found a structural soft spot.

When a draft feels flat, random, or slow, ask:

  • What does this event cause?
  • What choice grows out of it?
  • What consequence makes the next scene inevitable?

Remember, story is not about events lined up politely in a row. Story is about pressure, choice, and fallout. Cause and Effect.

~~~

Many thanks, Lindsey, for visiting the Zone! 

Comments are welcome below. 

Lindsey Hughes loves helping people discover their superpower, create compelling content, and feel excited about pitching and networking.  She teaches how to pitch like a boss, network like a VIP, and write like an Oscar winner.

In her wide-ranging career as a Hollywood development executive, Lindsey has worked in everything from feature films, television movies, and TV series, to animation and live action.  She began her career reading scripts for Robert Zemeckis and Kathryn Bigelow, worked under Michael Eisner at Walt Disney Feature Animation, and developed projects for John H. Williams, producer of the billion dollar Shrek franchise.

She is the author of two books, the upcoming Sell Your Book to Hollywood: How to Pitch Your Book, Find the Right Producer, and Navigate the Deal and How to Turn Your Screenplay Into a Novel.

For help with storytelling and networking you can reach her at thepitchmaster.com.  To be notified when How to Pitch Your Book to Hollywood is published, sign up at booktohollywood.com. Subscribe to her free weekly newsletter for actionable creativity and career tips at thepitchmaster.com/newsletter.

 

 

True Crime Thursday – Government License and Permit Scams

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by Debbie Burke

You may be familiar with email and text scams from fraudsters claiming you missed jury duty or owe traffic fines or road tolls. Immediate payment is demanded, or they threaten you’ll be arrested, your driver’s license suspended, yada, yada, yada.

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When such messages are sent by email, they’re called “phishing.” Those sent by text are “smishing.”

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Many victims fall for these scams because the convincing messages look and sound like the government agencies they supposedly represent. Plus they play on fear and urgency.

Well, criminals have stepped up to a new level of sophistication.

If you plan to build, remodel, make additions, or otherwise change the use of your property, you may need to obtain permits and/or licenses. When a business or individual applies, the information filed for those projects is publicly available and can be accessed by criminals. That includes the property address, as well as actual code numbers for required permits.

In some states (like Florida), even a change as small as replacing a window requires permits, inspections, and, of course, fees.

Zoning and licensing departments are usually backed up, causing delays in project completion while the property owner waits for inspections and re-inspections before they receive approval to continue.

So it’s not surprising to receive an email that appears to originate from these agencies demanding fees. If you don’t pay immediately, they warn your project will be delayed, disapproved, and blocked.

Anyone who’s ever built a house or developed property understands the frustration of constant delays, as well as fees on top of fees on top of more fees.

Criminals are quick to recognize new profit opportunities. Permit and license scams are among the latest.

The FBI issued a public service announcement on March 9, 2026, warning about the recent rising trend of phishing emails from criminals impersonating government departments.

According to the PSA:

  • The emails contain detailed, accurate information about planning and zoning requests, including property addresses, case numbers, and the true names of city and county officials.

  • The emails use professional language, formatting, and imagery consistent with legitimate government communications for planning and zoning applications, including review processes, planning commission procedures, regulatory compliance, and relevant ordinances.

  • The email addresses contain usernames similar to city or county planning and zoning departments but originate from non-governmental domains, such as “@usa.com”

  • Email delivery may be timed to coincide with ongoing communications with city and county officials regarding the permitting process.

  • Attached PDF invoices contain itemized statements of purported fees and direct applicants to request payment instructions via email, rather than telephone, to ensure a reliable audit trail for all correspondence related to the application. This is designed to deter the victim from calling the city or county office to verify the fees.

  • The emails emphasize urgency, threatening delays or other obstacles in the permitting process if the applicant does not immediately render payment.

So how do you determine if an email is real or fraudulent?

  • If they demand payment by wire transfer, peer-to-peer payment service, or cryptocurrency, it is a fraud. Government agencies do not require these methods. But criminals love them because funds can’t be traced, and you can’t recover your money.
  • Check the actual website (NOT the link in the email). You may find the agency has posted warnings with updates about new scams.
  • Call the agency using the phone number listed on their official website (NOT a number from the email). Find out if fees are actually due.

Some agencies even reach out proactively to warn of scams. For instance, a few days ago, I received an email from the Montana Secretary of State who handles business licenses. She warned impersonators were making bogus demands for fees from business owners.

Since her email didn’t ask for money, I knew it was genuine!

The FBI adds:

If you or someone you know has fallen victim to this impersonation scam, file a complaint with the IC3 at www.ic3.gov. Be sure to include any available information including:

  • The email address, date of email, phone number, if provided;

  • The date of your project’s scheduled hearing, if applicable; and,

  • The amount listed in the fraudulent invoice, the method requested to pay fees, and bank account information, if provided.

Under the best circumstances, the permit and licensing process is glacial in speed.

Unfortunately, in some instances, internal corruption means shakedowns and bribes are required before a project moves forward. Remember The Sopranos?

Now phishing scams will mire systems even more as people call to find out if notices are fakes. Plus agencies must field complaints from victims who’ve been defrauded.

Ironically, so-called “artificial” intelligence is being used to create scams that appear increasingly real.

Credit: Andrea Pokrzywinski

As AI improves, new phishing emails may not smell as phishy as older versions but they still are frauds (phrauds?). 

~~~

TKZers: Have you encountered phishing or smishing?

~~~

In Stalking Midas, glamorous con artist Cassandra Maza doesn’t need AI. Instead, she uses charm and flattery to ensnare her latest prey: a cranky senior who loves his nine rescue cats. Then investigator Tawny Lindholm uncovers the scam. Cassandra has killed before and each time it gets easier. Now Tawny is in her sights.

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