Author Archives: Debbie Burke

About Debbie Burke

Debbie writes the Tawny Lindholm series, Montana thrillers infused with psychological suspense. Her books have won the Kindle Scout contest, the Zebulon Award, and were finalists for the Eric Hoffer Book Award and BestThrillers.com. Her articles received journalism awards in international publications. She is a founding member of Authors of the Flathead and helps to plan the annual Flathead River Writers Conference in Kalispell, Montana. Her greatest joy is mentoring young writers. http://www.debbieburkewriter.com

True Crime Thursday – Scratching One’s Way to the Top

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22

by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

 

Public Domain

Kim Lien Vu, 46, owned two nail salons in Liberty Township, OH. She reportedly “developed animosity” with a competing business, Bora Bora Nails and Spa in nearby Monroe. In December 2022, Vu and employee Cierra Marie Bishop, 30, hatched a plan to burn down the rival store.

In text messages between Vu and Bishop, Bishop described experiments with various incendiary devices.

Vu directed a third woman, Makahla Ann Rennick, 19, to make an appointment at Bora Bora under a false name.

The final device was put into a small box.

On February 5, 2023, surveillance footage shows Bishop and Rennick entering the salon. While Rennick was having a pedicure, Bishop walked around the store with a package. Near the rear restroom, Bishop placed the package behind a desk.

Meanwhile, Vu established an alibi for herself by driving to Virginia, although she remained in contact via text with Bishop while Bishop was inside the store.

Later, a Bora Bora employee smelled gasoline, spotted the package, and put it outside in the dumpster. It soon caught fire.

Public Domain

 

Yeah, a genuine dumpster fire.

This video report shows the device before and after it ignited.

The trio was arrested and indicted by a federal grand jury in February 2023. In September 2023 Vu pled guilty, admitting she “conspired to commit malicious destruction via fire.” In April 2024, US District Court sentenced her to 46 months in prison. Bishop also pled guilty and is awaiting sentencing.

Business sometimes means fighting tooth and…nail. [Ba-da-boom!]  

~~~

TKZers: Do you know business competitors that carried their rivalry to extremes?

~~~

Debbie Burke’s thriller Deep Fake Double Down is a finalist for the Silver Falchion Award..

Six Questions to Ask Beta Readers

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Cover by Brian Hoffman

Whew!

I just typed “The End” on the draft of Fruit of the Poisonous Tree, the ninth book in my Tawny Lindholm Thriller series.

But “The End” doesn’t mean THE END. Far from it.

Now the fun begins.

Print out the manuscript.

Pro Tip: print the hard copy in a different font than the one used onscreen. Errors and typos pop out more visibly.

Grab the red pen and let it bleed all over the pages. Look for inconsistencies, plot holes, chronology problems, dangling subplots, name or description changes (blue eyes to brown, blond hair to auburn), etc.

Oops. I changed one character’s name from “Fram” to “Framson” and hit “replace all.” But I forgot to put a space on either side of the name. Therefore, every time the letters “fram” appeared, it was changed to “Framson.” The same petite frame now read The same petite Framson.

Once you transfer corrections from the hard copy into the digital copy, it’s time to send to beta readers. Their fresh eyes are invaluable because the author is too close to the story and can’t judge it objectively.

How can you help beta readers help you?

  1. Choose beta readers carefully.

They don’t necessarily need to be other writers, but they do need to be avid readers. Their function is to assess your book as if they plucked it off the bookstore shelf.

Find people who read in your genre. You probably shouldn’t choose a fan of blood-and-guts action thrillers to beta read a picture book for young readers.

But don’t eliminate a possible beta simply because they don’t often read your genre. A viewpoint from a different perspective frequently gives additional dimension your story wouldn’t otherwise have.

  1. Find people you can depend on to read in a timely manner. If you have a deadline, let them know it.
  2. Find appropriate experts.

Do your books have legal, medical, law enforcement, professional, technical, and/or historical elements?

Are you writing about a society, nationality, culture, ethnicity, religion, or other group that you’re not familiar with?

If so, ask for an expert’s help to make your depictions authentic.

Experts are often busy professionals in their field and may not have time to read the entire book. You can send them select passages that you’d like them to review.

For instance, in Deep Fake Double Down, I wanted short, understandable descriptions about how to create and detect deep fakes, but not too many details to bog the story down. I sent several short excerpts to the expert (say that three times fast). He made suggestions and corrected out-of-date information. The review only took him an hour (including our phone conversation) and my story had accurate details.

  1. Ask specific questions.

Do character actions seem plausible and realistic?

Is the plot interesting? Can you follow it?

Does the writing flow smoothly?

Were you confused? Please note where.

Did you lose interest in places? Please note where.

Are there dangling threads that need to be wrapped up?

Please note anything that bothered you.

If you are concerned about particular issues, let betas know so they’re on the lookout.

5. Series writers need to consider additional factors when asking for feedback from beta readers.

Are your books a series?  Or are they serials?

Generally, a series (Sherlock Holmes, Sue Grafton’s Alphabet Series) features continuing characters in a common location, during a similar time frame, often with consistent themes. Each book stands alone with a self-contained plot arc of beginning, middle, end. A reader does not necessarily have to read the books in order.

PublishDrive.com defines serials as:

“…literary works published in sequential installments rather than as complete, standalone books. A serial is a continuing narrative that must be read in the proper sequence to understand the plot.”

Serial examples are The Hunger Games trilogy, Harry Potter (seven books), and Breaking Bad on TV.

Serials can be:

Duology (2 books)

Trilogy (3)

Tetralogy (4)

Pentalogy (5)

Hexology (6)

Heptology (7)

Octology (8)

Ennealogy (9)

Decology (10)

For this post, I only talk about series, not serials.

Generally, readers prefer to read series books in order even though that’s not necessary.

With each book, series writers need to establish the ongoing characters and their relationships to each other, the world where the story takes place, and the time frame.

My Tawny Lindholm Thriller series features investigator Tawny Lindholm and attorney Tillman Rosenbaum. All books (except one) take place in Montana. A common theme is justice will be done (although not necessarily in the courtroom!). Each is written as a standalone.

In the first book, Instrument of the Devil, Tawny is a 50-year-old recent widow who unwittingly becomes entangled in a terrorist plot to destroy the electric grid. Tillman is the attorney who keeps her from going to prison, then hires her to be his investigator.

Although their relationship arc changes and evolves through the series, the plot of each book is separate and self-contained.

For series authors, the balancing act is always how much review is needed to orient new readers vs. too much rehashing from past books that bores ongoing readers.

My regular betas know the series history. But with each new book, I seek out at least one fresh reader who hasn’t read prior books. For that person, I ask specific questions like:

Are relationships among characters clear and understandable?

Can you follow the plot easily?

When events from past books are referred to, can you still follow the current story?

Are past references confusing or unclear?

Do you want more information or clarification?

  1. What about spoiler alerts in a series? Over a number of books, continuing characters often undergo changes in marital/relationship status, children, mental or physical abilities, and even death. They can move to a different location. They shift jobs or functions.

The overall theme may even evolve. One great example is Sue Coletta’s Mayhem series. Hero Shawnee spends several books under attack from serial killer, Mr. Mayhem. Then (spoiler alert) they become unlikely allies as eco-warriors against common enemies that threaten wildlife.

Some spoilers are inevitable. The most obvious is the hero survives the life-or-death catastrophe from the prior book. Otherwise, s/he wouldn’t be around for succeeding stories.

Where does a series author draw the line about giving away secrets?

In Fruit of the Poisonous Tree, I wrangled with a difficult spoiler and even asked for advice from TKZ readers.

The surprise ending from the third book, Eyes in the Sky, comes back to haunt the ongoing characters in the ninth book. I had to weigh whether it was more important to preserve the surprise from Eyes or tell a current story built around that in Fruit. Ultimately, I gave up worrying about revealing it and wrote the new story that demanded to be told.

Fruit of the Poisonous Tree is now out to beta readers, and I’m interested in their reactions to this spoiler.

~~~

Beta readers are important friends for writers to have. To thank them, I always acknowledge them in the published book, give them a signed copy, and, if possible, take them out for lunch or dinner, or send them a small gift.

Make your beta reader’s job as easy and painless as possible. The resulting rewards are well worth it!

~~~

TKZers: Have you used beta readers? Any ideas for other questions to ask them?

Have you been a beta reader? Did the author include questions or concerns for you to watch for? Did that help?

~~~

Deep Fake Double Down was chosen as a Top Pick for the Silver Falchion award, sponsored by Killer Nashville, and was the Mystery Finalist for the BookLife Prize.

Available at major online booksellers.

 

Visit debbieburkewriter.com for more information and release dates for Fruit of the Poisonous Tree.

Curiosity, Creativity, and Connections

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Mark Leichliter and Debbie Burke

A few days ago, my friend and writing colleague Mark Leichliter (who also writes as “Mark Hummel“) spoke to a group at a local active senior community.

Mark is a delightful, articulate guy who writes mystery and literary fiction. He also ghostwrites and teaches creative writing, although he finds the term “creative writing” redundant because he says, “All writing is creative.”

He’s the teacher you wish you’d had or would choose to teach your kids. He treats students as individuals, listening to their needs, encouraging them to pursue their dreams. Years after they graduate, students stay in touch with him.

I learned about Mark’s appearance at the senior community a short time before and on the spur of the moment decided to attend.

I didn’t expect his talk to lead to a post for TKZ. But here it is.

First thing Mark did was to rearrange the chairs from auditorium-style seating into a circle. “I want this to be a conversation, not a lecture,” he said. “I want to learn from you in the audience.”

His premise began that curiosity and creativity are linked. Curious people are also often creative. Curiosity makes them eager to learn and they create art, music, poetry, books, buildings, automobiles, recipes, etc. from what they learn.

I mentioned creativity was also the ability to take apparently unrelated ideas and find a connection between them.

Mark laughed and said I must be his shill because the concept of connection led into his next point.

He cited a friend who’s now writing a memoir. “Al” was a former mining engineer tasked with building a gold mine in Columbia. His employer was willing to pay top wages to attract workers to an area that was otherwise desolate. Al could have simply built the mine then moved on, one and done.

Instead, he was curious about the people and surroundings. He spent weeks exploring and talking with them, and learned there was no infrastructure, no water or power. Those conditions meant that workers couldn’t bring their families with them to the new mining jobs. A lucrative paycheck was a draw, but it wasn’t enough.

Al’s creativity took over. He connected the needs of the mine with the needs of the workers and projected into the future.

A mine would do well but was a finite operation—it lasted several years then shut down. He convinced mine owners to pay workers a little less and instead to budget that money to bring in electricity and water, leading to building a town with a grocery store to provide food, a school to educate their children, and other services. Mining would “do well” but building a lasting community would “do good.”

Al is now using curiosity and creativity to connect events in his life and solve problems as he writes his memoir.

Mark then asked the group about their individual creative endeavors.

A woman related that she and her husband had traveled extensively, getting to know and live with residents of other countries. Their endless curiosity about other cultures led to broadening their knowledge and understanding, resulting in rich rewards they never could have anticipated.

Another woman said she quilted, using fabric from her grandchildren’s outgrown clothes and sports uniforms. She created quilts that reflected each child’s particular interest and favorite activities, a physical, visual canvas of the stories of their lives.

Another said she was creating an “ethical will.” Instead of leaving material possessions to her children and grandchildren, she wants to leave family memories, lessons learned, advice, etc. in written form. Her title is More Than Stuff.

Another said she’d published a family history without telling her siblings. When she eventually let them know, a sister revealed she too had published a family history without telling anyone. Not surprisingly, the stories were completely different, giving rise to disagreements: “That’s not how it happened!”

That led to group discussion of differing perceptions. The same event happens to each family member, but all have their own memory and interpretation of the incident that is often radically different from the others.

A genealogist commented that “a lot of family history is fiction,” which prompted knowing laughter in the group.

“Leaving a legacy” was the common theme among the audience.

Mark connected the legacy angle back to storytelling. Humans are curious about past events and why they happened. Storytelling is a creative way to preserve, understand, and pass down those events to educate future generations. Stories explore the reasons and causes behind life’s mysteries and strive to make sense of them. Stories also serve as vehicles to teach ways to solve problems and survive.

Mark made another point I hadn’t considered before. He said a book doesn’t fully exist without a reader. Other communication and entertainment forms like TV, films, streaming, etc. continue whether or not anyone is watching. They are one-way activities that don’t require participation.

In contrast, a book is a two-way interactive exchange. The author creates it but, until someone picks it up and starts reading, it simply sits there. It’s a repository of knowledge, waiting to interact with a person. When the connection between the author and reader is made, it opens the door to an entirely new world.

Curiosity, creativity, and connections.

Because I was curious about Mark’s talk, I picked up creative ideas from it, and connected them into today’s post. Thanks, Mark!

~~~

TKZers: Does curiosity enhance your creativity? Do such connections find their way into your writing? Please share some examples.

~~~

 

Curiosity leads investigator Tawny Lindholm into a creative deep fake trap. Can she connect clues in time to save herself and an unjustly accused woman? Find out in Deep Fake Double Down. 

Universal book link

True Crime Thursday – Baby Grand Piano Scam

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Searobin, CC BY-SA 3.0 <http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/>, via Wikimedia Commons

by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

A college music major receives an email that’s a dream come true. A professor from the same college retired and must find a good home for a gently used baby grand piano. Money isn’t important. In fact, the professor will give the piano away as long as the recipient cherishes it as much as the professor did. To receive the piano, the student only needs to pay a moving company to deliver it.

For a little over $500, delivery is in 10 days, or for expedited two-day service, the fee is $1000. Simply pay the charge in advance by Zelle or cryptocurrency.

A university alum receives a similar email from a professor at that university who’s assisting the widow of a faculty member. She must downsize and wants to donate her husband’s precious baby grand piano to someone who will truly appreciate it. Similar terms: pay a moving company only for delivery charges by Zelle or crypto payment in advance.

Seeing a pattern?

In reality, there is no retired professor or widow, no moving company, and, most of all, no piano. There is only a scammer who preys on unsuspecting victims, pocketing untraceable payments that can’t be recovered.

Scammers understand psychology and know how to appeal to emotions. They offer a music lover’s dream come true for free. But free is almost never free. 

Attorney Steve Weisman posts daily fraud warnings on his excellent website Scamicide. His report from June 21, 2024 says:

“Cybersecurity company Proofpoint recently discovered a scam in which people are receiving emails offering a free piano which is available often purportedly due to a death in the family.  The scam has largely targeted students and professors at colleges and universities. Often in the email, the scammer poses a someone from the same college or university as that of the targeted victim.  According to Proofpoint they have identified about 125,000 of these emails sent since the beginning of the year.”

Steve adds:

“People may trust emails such as this due to affinity fraud where we tend to trust people with whom we share some kind of connection and getting an email such as this that appears to come from someone at your college or university may cause the person receiving the email to trust it to be legitimate.”

The free baby grand piano scam has been around for several years but affinity angle may be a newer, more sophisticated refinement. Reddit has numerous reports about the fraud, including this one from 2021 where the intended victim fortunately caught on before sending money.

The scammer runs ads in online marketplaces like Craig’s List, offering a premium piano for free. The ad is embellished with sentiments that appeal to the buyer’s emotions, like: “want[ing] the piano to be used to share with friends and family the joys of music.”

The person who answers the ad is then referred to a professional-looking website of a moving company that will deliver the piano. Contact may be by email or live chat. The mover even sends a photo of the piano to add legitimacy. However, the photo is probably a generic one from a stock photo site…like the one I used to illustrate this post.

Pro tip: To check photo sources, run a reverse image search through TinEye or Google. This tip also works to verify photos featured on dating sites where the subjects are often models, not real people.

The terms for the delivery payment should set off deafening alarm bells: No credit cards, no PayPal, no secured money transfers. Payment must be made in advance via Zelle, money order, or gift cards.

Peer-to-peer (P2P) payments are popular because they are a fast, convenient way to send money.

The downside: if the merchandise isn’t delivered or is defective, the buyer has no recourse.  Once fraudsters receive the money, they disappear. The victim is out of luck because law enforcement can’t help.

Here’s Steve’s recommendation about using P2P services: 

“There are many other scams involving Venmo, Zelle and other P2P services and the legal protection that you get with these services in the event you are scammed is nowhere near as great as the protection you get with your credit card.  A good rule to follow is to never use Venmo, Zelle or any other P2P service for any business transaction, but limit their use to small transfers between friends and family.”

Brown University posts piano scam warnings on their “Phish Bowl” site. They included the below email which was particularly entertaining. Notice Josiah’s position.

From: Josiah [deleted]
Subject: Baby yamaha piano for free
Date: October 13, 2023 at 5:37:10 PM EDT
To:

Dear Student /Staff/Faculty,
One of our staff, Mr. Phil H. is downsizing and looking to give
away his late dad’s piano to a loving home. The Piano is a 2014 Yamaha
Baby Grand size used like new. You can write to him to indicate your
interest on his private email [deleted] to arrange an
inspection and delivery with a moving company. Kindly write Mr. Phil H. via your private email for a swift response.

Josiah [deleted]
Professor of Psychoceramics

Per Wiktionary: “Noun. psychoceramics. The study of crackpots.”

Gotta appreciate a scammer with a sense of humor.

Many thanks to Steve Weisman for permission to quote.

~~~

TKZers: Do you know about frauds where valuable items (like a piano) are offered as bait? Have you or someone you know ever been targeted by an affinity scammer?

~~~

 

Investigator Tawny Lindholm encounters a clever affinity scam in Stalking Midas. But a glamorous con artist has killed before to cover her tracks. Now Tawny is in her crosshairs.

Sales link.

 

 

 

What’s in a Title – Guest Post by Jane Corry

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Author Jane CorryToday please welcome author Jane Corry, bestselling thriller author from the UK. Her books have sold more than a million copies in 20 countries. She’s also a magazine feature writer and columnist. For three years, she was the writer in residence at a high security male prison.

An important choice we authors grapple with is  what to call a book. Jane graciously shares her experience in today’s guest post: 

WHAT’S IN A TITLE?

 

‘Never judge a book by its cover.’ Or so the saying goes.

If I was re-writing this advice, I’d say, ‘Always judge a book by its title.’

At least that’s what many of us seem to do when choosing our next read (including me).

Before I got published, I never really thought about how titles were created. I certainly didn’t realise that they could take different forms and myriad conceptual stages between that first written line and the published baby.

They generally start off as a working title (the one which the author initially thinks of) and then metamorphosise during various meetings and edits.

Now, some 19 books on, I realise that THE title – the one which the book finally steps out in, ready for the ball – is a mixture of fluke, getting it right first time, and arduous, handwringing, plus increasingly urgent emails and discussions on behalf of both publisher and author.

To make it even more complicated, the various departments of the publishing company might well have different views. The sales team, for example, might like one title; publicity, another, and the editor yet a third. (Or 63rd as in the case of a friend of mine.) Then there’s the author who might well be feeling distinctly unsettled by the prospect of their baby being given a new identity. Who gets the final say?

Good question. In my experience, it may well be Sales because when all is said and done, it comes down to money. Sales have a feel for what they can sell which is why they are there in the first place. But are they always right?

You won’t know until the sales figures start coming in…..

Titles also often go through trends. First person has gone down well in the last few years. ‘I did this… I did that’ on the cover, can draw in potential readers by making them identify with that ‘I’.  Two of mine were along those lines: ‘I Made A Mistake’ and ‘I Looked Away’.

Names in a title can also help because you feel you are going to be reading about a real person even though you know it’s fiction. Take ‘The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo’.

Maybe this is why my one of my favourite childhood books is ‘What Katy Did Next.’ If it had been ‘What a Little Girl Did Next’ it might not have had the same personal angle.

A question in a title is often a good bait. ‘Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?’ is screaming to be picked up. Indeed, it’s been in the top ten charts for months

The titles, which I feel have worked best for my books, include the ones which just fell into my head. For example, ‘I Died On A Tuesday’ came to me when I was cycling down to the promenade for my daily swim in the sea and nearly got knocked off my bike.

This is exactly what happens to Janie, my heroine. (Spoiler – she survives.)

Ironically, I’d already written this scene in the draft of the as yet untitled novel I was currently working on.

My near-miss as well as the irony, really shook me up. My life could have changed in a second. It was scary. But also inspirational. This, I realised, was my way of getting fear into my title – usually a good bait.

I also wanted the reader to wonder how the unknown ‘I’ in the title could be dead, if the protagonist is still talking?

The specificness of a certain day hopefully makes the story feel more real and relatable. But why a Tuesday and not any other day of the week? My gut instinct told me that  the word had a certain tuneful lilt which lifted the spirits to balance the word ‘Died’.

I was very relieved when the publishers didn’t even discuss my ‘I Died On A Tuesday’  title because they liked it. Phew! It felt like scoring a strike in bowling – something I usually leave to my grandchildren.  Early reviewers even said lovely things like ‘Great title’. Fingers crossed for sales when it comes out on June 6. (Details at the end!)

Sometimes brainstorming can help. When I started writing crime (without an agent or editor), I came up with ‘My Husband’s New Wife’. Then  I floated the title past a friend, who suggested “My Husband’s Wife.’

Technically this isn’t quite accurate because the fictional woman in question is the new wife. But it trips off the tongue better and sounds more intriguing. I will be eternally grateful to that friend. In return, I help other authors brainstorm their titles too.

Every now and then, a chance remark can inspire a title. For some years now, I’ve been swimming in the sea every morning with a friend who lives over the road. One weekend, she turned up on a new orange bike. I admired it. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘It belonged to the dead ex.’ (Rather sadly, she’d had to clear out her former husband’s possessions after his death.)

‘Wow,’ I said. ‘May I use that as a title please?’ And so my third book ‘The Dead Ex’ was born.

If you are really stuck, you could try that old trick of putting words in different cups and picking some out at random. Or you could go through sayings/ proverbs/ favourite song titles and adapt them. Always keep your ears open for something that someone says which strikes a chord and has title potential.

Escapist titles are popular because it helps us remove ourselves from our everyday lives and problems. A friend of mine who isn’t a writer says she’ll buy anything with ‘sunshine’ or ‘mermaid’ in it.

Certain titles work even better when the ‘sell’ on the cover explains or amplifies the significance.  I recently heard about a writer called Rebecca Paulinyi who’d had a stroke and went onto write a rom com. She called it ‘At the Stroke of 30’.  The blurb explained that it was about a heroine who had to re-evaluate her life after having a stroke on the eve of her thirtieth birthday. Brilliant.

Alliteration is also catching. (‘The Secret Seven’ comes to mind as I write this sentence.)

So does a touch of menace. My current novel in the US and Canada is called ‘Coming To Find You’.  It’s a time-slip set in the Second World War in a small Devon village and the present-day where Nancy is hiding in the same house, 80 years on.

Nancy’s stepbrother has escaped from prison and is about to break in through her kitchen window. My publisher, agent and I did have quite a lot of discussion about this title and I’m very grateful that they went for my own suggestion, ‘Coming To Find You’, which has, I felt, a combination of that sing-song childhood hide-and-seek game along with an underlying threat. That book got to number 7 in the Sunday Times.

Sometimes I think that maybe the best way to write a novel is to think of a really gripping title first before writing. Then use the title as a basis for the idea. It might certainly help someone who isn’t sure what to write about and will hopefully get some great sales!

Meanwhile, you can follow me at janecorryauthor on Twitter/X; Instagram; Tik Tok and Facebook. My website is janecorryauthor.com

The digital edition of I DIED ON A TUESDAY is out on June 6th.  If you wanted to make my day and order, just go to:  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Died-Tuesday-gripping-thriller-bestselling-ebook/dp/B0CNT62W14

The paperback edition is out on June 20th. You can find me in bookshops, supermarkets and online.

If you’re in the US or Canada, you can order on the following links:

Canada: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.ca/books/735469/coming-to-find-you-by-jane-corry/9780385697880

US: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/735469/coming-to-find-you-by-jane-corry/

Meanwhile, good luck with your next title. I hope this helps……

~~~

Jane, thanks for these great tips! Best wishes on a successful launch! 

~~~

TKZers: How do you choose a title? Do Jane’s suggestions inspire you? 

Old Dog Learns New Trick

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

 

Public domain photo

 

When it comes to learning new technology tricks, I’m definitely an old dog. But if there’s a way to learn a new trick in a program I already use, rather than having to master a whole new program, I’m thrilled.

In this case, the new trick is in Word.

Recently I stumbled on a post by Wendy Lyons Sunshine entitled How to Teach Word a Scrivener Trick on Jane Friedman’s always informative blog.

Scrivener is a popular and powerful writing program that number of TKZers use and swear by. One Scrivener feature that’s always appealed to me is the corkboard. You write each scene on a virtual index card. Then if you discover problems with timeline or continuity, you can easily rearrange scene order.

Unfortunately, despite taking several classes in Scrivener, I never mastered the learning curve.

So I continue to use Word since it’s the preferred program for most publications I write for.

For my novel first drafts, I write in scenes, separated by white space and asterisks. In later drafts, I divide scenes into chapters. Some chapters are only one scene long, others are three to five scenes.

A problem arises when I write scenes out of order. That leads to a jumble of scenes that need to be rearranged before completing the final draft.

This is where we pantsers get in trouble. You outliners in the audience, feel free to smirk here.

Eventually I have to find those out-of-order scenes buried in the 75-80K manuscript and, using cut and paste, reposition them where they should be. But locating those scenes, as well as their new position, can be a pain in the posterior.

Being old school, I write a summary of each scene on a 3X5 card. I lay the deck of cards on the living room floor and rearrange them as needed until the scene order is correct.

But…the Word doc still needs to be changed. That requires a lot of scrolling back and forth to find the right scene, highlight and cut it, then more scrolling to paste it into its new location.

Yes, outliners, I hear you snickering. If you had an outline, this problem wouldn’t come up.

But it turns out Word has a trick to mark scenes so they’re easy to find.

Now I’ll give the floor to Wendy since she explains it very well. She graciously granted permission to quote the following excerpt:

“Insert descriptive headings throughout the manuscript. You might insert a heading above each:

  • Chapter
  • Section
  • Scene
  • Any unit of content that needs to be easily identified or moved.

The goal is to clearly identify where a chunk of content begins. By default, that chunk ends where the next chunk (denoted by a heading of the same level) begins.

Assign styles:

Open Word “Styles” and assign each of the descriptive headings a standardized heading style. Assign “heading 1” style to chapter titles, then assign “heading 2” to other types of content.

Open the Navigation Pane

Now that headings are set up, open the navigation pane via View > Show > Navigation Pane. The Navigation Pane will display vertically along the left of the screen. 

Use the Navigation Pane two ways. First, you can navigate to specific content by clicking on that specific heading. Second, and most wonderfully, you can reorganize content by dragging and dropping the headings. Navigation Pane headings behave much like Scrivener’s index cards and are easily shuffled around.

Dragging a heading moves all associated content together in one bundle. This works beautifully across a large document and is far easier than trying to cut/paste/or drag blocks many pages apart.

Fiction writers can adjust this approach for their needs by crafting headings to describe POV, scene, location, interiority, backstory, etc.”

Thanks for making my life easier, Wendy!

After reading her instructions, I went through my WIP (working title Fruit of the Poisonous Tree) and chose Heading 2 for the beginning of each scene. Still using Heading 2,  I wrote a brief summary of that scene, so it stands out easily in the manuscript.

Now, within the Word doc, I can easily jump to the summary of each scene. No more wasted time, scrolling through pages, searching for the parts that need to be cut and pasted to different locations.

When the scenes are in correct order, then I’ll place the chapter breaks, using Heading 1.  That makes formatting easy for Kindle Direct Publishing and Draft2Digital.

Best of all, this new trick is within Word so I don’t need to learn a whole new program to accomplish what I need.

Photo credit: Lars Curfs CC-BY-SA-3.0

Now I’m still an old dog, but a happy one.

~~~

Many thanks to Wendy Lyons Sunshine and Jane Friedman for their kind permission to quote.

~~~

 

TKZers, were you aware of this capability in Word?

How do you keep track of scenes and rearrange them in your manuscript?

Do you know any other Word tricks to share?

True Crime Thursday – Bud and Breakfast Fraud

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Photo credit: Elsa Olofsson – unsplash
https://unsplash.com/photos/a-plate-of-marijuana-buds-on-a-doily-HbvmGpjIHDQ?utm_content=creditShareLink&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unsplash

by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Recreational marijuana is now legal in 24 states and the District of Columbia. Seventeen more states permit it for medical use.

As a result, dispensaries pop up like shrooms.

Weed tourism inhales vacation dollars from millions of visitors. In 2022, Forbes estimated marijuana-related industries were worth a smokin’ $17 billion, with Colorado leading the pack at an estimated $1 billion annually.

“Bud and Breakfasts” are a growing industry, offering lodging, recreation, weed tours (like wine tours but smokier), and dining experiences that go beyond Alice B. Toklas brownies.

Here are amenities:

Spread cannabutter on your toast or enjoy a steak sautéd in it. Take cooking classes in how to infuse cannabis into gourmet meals. Sample different varieties at the bud bar where a friendly “bud-tender” guides smokers to find their elevated bliss.

Hotel rooms may offer decor with black lights, psychedelic posters, and Cheech and Chong movies, along with snack bars if guests develop the munchies.

Budandbreakfast.com is Travelocity for the 420 crowd.

Federal law still criminalizes marijuana as a Schedule I drug under the 1970 Controlled Substance Act. Efforts are underway to reclassify it as Schedule III. Attorney General Merrick Garland’s position is “low-level cannabis crimes would not be a priority of the Justice Department.”

Wink, wink.

Because many banks remain leery about running afoul of federal law, business is often done in cash.

More winking.

Enterprising entrepreneurs don’t let grass grow under their feet.

Between 2017 and 2020, Brian Corty, 53, of Delta Junction, Alaska, sought investors for Ice Fog Holdings, LLC, a “’Bud and Breakfast’ which was described as a marijuana theme park, where they would grow, cultivate and sell marijuana, and allow customers to use marijuana on site.”

Corty purchased a building in Salcha, AK, and told investors he was already raising product there. He convinced 22 people to invest $600,000 in the growing concern.

Instead, he used the money for “personal gain, to refinance his home, and pay off debt.”

“Mr. Corty lured investors with promises of prosperity and guaranteed returns, when in truth, he diverted the investor money to fund his own lifestyle,” said Special Agent in Charge Rebecca Day of the FBI Anchorage Field Office.

On May 3, 2024, Corty was sentenced to two years in prison for conspiracy to commit wire fraud. Additionally, he must pay $580,000 restitution, and is subject to three years’ supervised release.

In an industry that’s growing like a weed, one wonders why Mr. Corty chose to defraud investors instead of using their money to build a legitimate marijuana grow operation and theme park.

If he had, he might be living high now.

Let’s wind down today’s post with those immortal stoners, Cheech and Chong.

~~~

TKZers: Have you heard of Bud and Breakfasts? Know anyone who’s visited one? No need to name names!

Food for Stories

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Josie family album

Food can lead to a bountiful banquet of stories.

Not long ago, I enjoyed a week-long visit with an old friend to celebrate her 96th birthday. Josie is Greek and has a well-deserved reputation as a legendary cook. She makes the best baklava I’ve ever tasted. Phyllo, melted butter, honey, cinnamon, phyllo, more butter, chopped nuts, more butter. Layer after layer of pure heaven.

Years ago, one of my relatives was getting married and asked Josie to make Greek food for the wedding. Apprentice volunteers (including myself) spent the weekend in her kitchen and dining room, under the gentle but exacting guidance of our revered goddess of Greek cooking.

Josie showed us how layer baklava and how to stuff grape leaves (dolmades) along with sharing her secret marinating tricks for roast leg of lamb (slivers of garlic embedded all over the meat along with spices and olive oil).

Spanakopita – Photo credit: terri_bateman, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons

The most labor-intensive dish was spanakopita. Phyllo dough is filled with cheese, spinach, and egg then folded flag-style into triangular pastries, brushed with melted butter, and baked. Each one takes about five minutes to carefully fold, but only five seconds to melt in your mouth.

Phyllo is more delicate than 3000-year-old parchment scrolls. When the tissue-thin dough tore as I handled it, that ruined the perfect appearance required for the fancy party. Of course, I had to eat my mistakes and, wow, did I goof up a lot!

The Greek food at the wedding was a huge hit. Prior to this cooking marathon, Josie and I had been friends, but that weekend sealed our close bond forever.

During my recent visit for Josie’s birthday, we went through her dresser drawerful of old recipes. Some were in cookbooks with many margin notes added in ink; others were on paper or index cards in her neat, careful handwriting. The pages were stained with butter, olive oil, chocolate, and other evidence of intense use.

Josie’s family album. She is the girl on the right.

I learned her mother was a first-generation immigrant from the island of Patmos who didn’t know how to read or write. She was a wonderful cook but never used measuring cups or spoons. Memorializing her mother’s recipes in writing took considerable time, experimentation, and guesswork. The effort was worth it.

Fascinating historical tidbits came out in our conversations over the recipes. “During wartime, when there was no food, Greeks didn’t starve like other countries because they ate greens. They went out in the country and picked wild greens. And that kept them from starving.”

Josie recalled picking dandelions to eat in the spring when she was a child. “I wasn’t crazy about them, but my mother insisted.”

Josie’s family as adults

Her family consisted of five boisterous boys and two girls. “Growing up with five brothers, I learned to hold my own. I wasn’t easily intimidated.”

Seven kids kept their parents busy trying to feed them during Prohibition and the Depression. Her father, whom she called the “original Nick the Greek,” made ouzo in a still in their basement.

Josie’s dad, Nick the Greek

Nick was an early pioneer of route sales. Every day, he walked around their neighborhood, pushing Josie in a baby carriage. He stopped to chat with friends who admired Nick’s adorable toddler in the carriage. After a few minutes of visiting, each walked away with a bottle of ouzo that had been hidden in her blankets.

She also recalled men coming to their house in the middle of the night. Nick always welcomed them. They joked and chatted for a while, then left.

“Why do those men come here so late?” Josie asked her mother.

“Never mind, they’re just visiting.”

She later figured out they were Nick’s satisfied midnight customers.

When she taught her father how to sign his name, he was very proud of that accomplishment.

Josie caught a fish for dinner

Josie high school graduation photo 1945

Our conversation turned to her early jobs. At 18, she moved from Pennsylvania to Brooklyn. There, she managed a coffee store on Smith Street near Flatbush Avenue. The owner liked her because her accounts always balanced to the penny…except for one problem customer.

A man came in every morning and stole a newspaper. He was a big guy and evidently hid the paper under his arm. She could never catch him in the act, but she knew his habits. After stealing the paper, he would walk around the corner and have breakfast at a cafe.

Flatbush Avenue
Photo credit: Wikimedia.com

One day, she followed him to the cafe and sat down at the counter on the stool beside him. While waiting for their breakfast orders, she engaged him in friendly conversation. She kept pleasantly chatting as he grew visibly more nervous. Finally, she said, “You know, it’s hard for small businesses to survive. Even losing a single newspaper makes a difference.”

“All right! All right! I did it!” the man blurted out. “I’ll pay!”

Her gentle, non-accusatory appeal to his conscience worked. From that day forward, he always paid.

The young woman working alone in a store could have made a tempting target. But Josie received protection from two unlikely bodyguards.

Lou was a burly Italian bookie operating in the neighborhood who made sure no one bothered her. Once, she fell seriously ill with the flu. Lou took her home to his apartment where his wife nursed her back to health with homemade soup. She slept on their couch until she recovered and was forever grateful for their kindness.

The second bodyguard was a so-called “hobo” who met her bus every morning and walked her to the coffee store. Each night, he walked her from the store to the bus stop. “You don’t need to do this,” she told him. He just smiled and continued to escort her.

One night, he was murdered—knifed in a doorway. When she learned about his death, she was heartbroken. “He was so nice to me and never expected anything in return.”

Another early job was in a mill on the Ohio River. The factory made plating to line soup cans. She worked in the lab, testing tin samples because different soup ingredients required different formulations of tin. Inspectors visited often to check compliance for food safety. Before hearing her story, I thought a soup can was simply a soup can.

Josie’s siblings and in-laws

Here’s a festive meal with Josie’s siblings and in-laws. She’s not in the photo perhaps because she was in the kitchen, refilling platters with more goodies.

Starting with recipes, Josie took me on a week-long journey into the past.

Recipes are like old family Bibles and photo albums, rich with history and memories. I learned fascinating facts and anecdotes that never make it into history books. Yet such rich details add texture, color, and verisimilitude to stories about bygone days. Josie’s stories gave me the itch to dive into historical fiction.

I visited for her birthday but I’m the one who left with a precious gift.

~~~

TKZers: Do you have written family histories, or recordings of oral histories?

Do people and stories from the past inspire your work?

What is your favorite source for historical details?

~~~

 

Ninety-six-year-old Josie is a fan of the Tawny Lindholm Thriller series but has one criticism: “Honey, I wish you’d add a little more sex!” 

I’ll take your suggestion to heart, Josie! 

Ten Tips for DIY Editing

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

A couple of weeks ago, I attended the Montana Writers Rodeo and wrote a post about the fun, enlightening conference experience.

Today, here are the 10 tricks (plus one bonus tip) from my workshop at the Rodeo on how to edit your own writing.

Newer writer: “Why should I worry about spelling, grammar, and typos? The editor will fix them.”

Hate to break the news but that ain’t gonna happen. 

Being a professional means we’re responsible for quality of the book we turn out.

Whose name is on the cover?

Ours.

If there are errors, who gets blamed?

We do.

That’s an important reason to hone our own editing skills.

Whether you go the traditional route or self-publish, a well-written story without typos and errors increases your chance of successful publication.

Due to layoffs, fewer editors work at publishing houses. Those who remain are swamped with other tasks, leaving little time to actually edit. In recent years, I’ve noticed an uptick in grammar, punctuation, and spelling goofs in traditionally published books.

If you indie-pub, a book with errors turns off readers. 

The overarching goal of authors is to make the writing so smooth and effortless that readers glide through the story without interruption.

We want them to become lost in the story and forget they’re reading.

How can we accomplish that? By self-editing to the best of our ability.

As a freelance editor, what do I look for when I review a manuscript?

  • Is the writing clear and understandable?
  • Do stumbling blocks and awkward phrases interrupt the flow?
  • Are there unnecessary words or redundancies?
  • Are there nouns with lots of adjectives?
  • Do weak verbs need adverbs to make the action clear?

Here are my 10 favorite guidelines. Please note, I said guidelines, not rules! 

1. Delete the Dirty Dozen Junk Words – Go on a global search-and-destroy mission for the following words/phrases:

It is/was

There is/was

That

Just

Very

Really

Quite

Almost

Sort of

Rather

Turned to…

Began to…

Getting rid of unnecessary junk words tightens writing and makes stronger sentences.

Clear, concise narrative is your mission…with the exception of dialogue.

Characters ramble, stammer, repeat themselves, and backtrack. Natural, realistic-sounding dialogue uses colloquialisms, regional idiosyncrasies, ethnic speech patterns, etc.

Photo credit: Wikimedia

But, like hot sauce, a little goes a long way.

At the Rodeo, actor/director Leah Joki used excerpts from Huckleberry Finn to illustrate the power of dialogue.

But hearing it is different from reading it. If overdone, too much dialect can make an arduous slog. Imagine translating page after page of sentences like this one from Jim in  Huck Finn:

“Yo’ ole father doan’ know yit what he’s a-gwyne to do.”

  1. Set the stage – At the beginning of each scene or chapter, establish:

WHO is present?

WHERE are they?

WHEN is the scene happening?

If you ground the reader immediately in the fictional world, they can plunge into the story without wondering what’s going on.

  1. Naming Names – Distinctive character names help the reader keep track of who is who.

Create a log of character names used.

Easy trick: write the letters of the alphabet down the left margin of a page. As you name characters, fill in that name beside the corresponding letter of the alphabet. That saves you from winding up with Sandy, Samantha, Sarah, Sylvester.

Vary the number of syllables, e.g. Bob (1), Jeremiah (4), Annunciata (5).

Avoid names that look or sound similar like Michael, Michelle, Mickey.

Avoid rhyming names like Billy, Milly, Tilly.

  1. Precision Nouns, Vivid Verbs – Adjectives and adverbs are often used to prop up lazy nouns and verbs. Choose exact, specific nouns and verbs.

Instead of the generic word house, consider a specific noun that describes it, like bungalow, cottage, shanty, shack, chateau, mansion, castle. Notice how each conjures a different picture in the mind.

Photo credit: wikimedia CC BY 2.0 DEED

Holyroodhouse
Photo credit: Christophe Meneboeuf CC-BY-SA 4.0 DEED

Instead of the generic verb run, try more descriptive verbs like race, sprint, dart, dash, gallop. That gives readers a vivid vision of the action.

  1. Chronology and Choreography – Establish the timeline.

Photo credit: IMDB database

Quentin Tarantino can get away with scenes that jump back and forth in time like a rabid squirrel on crack.

But a jumbled timeline risks confusing the reader. Unless you have a compelling reason to write events out of order, you’re probably better off sticking to conventional chronology.

 

Are actions described in logical order? Does cause lead to effect? Does action trigger reaction?

Chronology also applies to sentences. In both examples below, the reader can figure out what’s going on, but which sentence is simpler to follow?

  • George slashed Roger’s throat with the knife as he grabbed him from behind after he sneaked into the warehouse.
  • Knife in hand, George sneaked into the warehouse, grabbed Roger from behind, and slashed his throat.

In theatre, actors and directors block each scene. Clear blocking helps the reader visualize events and locations.

Establish where the characters are in relation to each other and their surroundings.

Map out doors, windows, cupboards, stairwells, secret passages, alleys, etc. where a bad guy might sneak up on the hero, or where the hero might escape.

Locate weapons.

Does the hero or the villain carry a gun or knife? Establish that before the weapon magically appears. 

Pre-place impromptu weapons (golf club, baseball bat, scissors) where the hero can grab them in an emergency. Or put them just out of reach to complicate the hero’s struggle.

  1. When to Summarize? When to dramatize?

Photo credit: Public Domain

Summarize or skip boring, mundane details like waking up, getting dressed, brushing teeth…unless the toothpaste is poisoned!

Dramatize important events and turning points in the story, such as:

  • New information is discovered.
  • A secret is revealed.
  • A character has a realization.
  • The plot changes direction.
  • A character changes direction.

7. Dynamic description – Make descriptive passages do double duty.

Rather than a driver’s license summary, show a character’s personality through their appearance and demeanor.

Static description: He had black hair, brown eyes, was 6’6″, weighed 220 pounds, and wore a gold shield.

Dynamic description: When the detective entered the interview room, his ‘fro brushed the top of the door frame. His dark gaze pierced the suspect. Under a tight t-shirt, his abs looked firm enough to deflect a hockey puck. 

Put setting description to work. Use location and weather to establish mood and/or foreshadow.

Static description: Birds were flying. There were clouds in the sky. An hour ago, the temperature had been 70 degrees but was now 45. She felt cold.

Dynamic description: Ravens circled, cawing warnings to each other. In the east, thunderheads tumbled across a sky that moments before had been bright blue. Rising wind cut through her hoody and prickled her skin with goosebumps.

  1. Read Out Loud – After reading the manuscript 1000+ times, your eyes are blind to skipped words, repetitions, awkward phrasing.

To counteract that, use your ears instead to catch problems.

Read your manuscript out loud and/or listen to it with text-to-speech programs on Word, Natural Reader, Speechify, etc. Your phone may also be able to read to you. Instruction links for Android and iPhone.

  1. Be Sensual – Exploit all five senses. Writers often use sight and hearing but sometimes forget taste, smell, and touch that evoke powerful memories and emotions in readers.

Think of the tang of lemon. Did you start to salivate?

Smell the stench of decomposition. Did you instinctively hold your breath and recoil?

Photo credit: Amber Kipp – Unsplash

 

Imagine a cat’s soft fur. Do your fingers want to stroke it? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  1. What’s the Right (Write) Word? – English is full of boobytraps called homophones, words that sound the same but don’t have the same meaning.

Spellcheck doesn’t catch mixups like:

its/it’s

there/they’re/their

cite/site/sight, etc.

Make a list of ones that often trip you up and run global searches for them. Or hire a copyeditor/proofreader.

Bonus Tip – When proofreading, change to a different font and increase the type size of your manuscript. That tricks the brain into thinking it’s seeing a different document and makes it easier to spot typos.

Self-editing is not a replacement for a professional editor. But when you submit a manuscript that’s as clean and error-free as you can make it, that saves the editor time and that saves you $$$ in editing fees! 

Effective self-editing means a reader can immerse themselves in a vivid story world without distractions.  

And isn’t that what it’s all about? 

~~~

TKZers: What editing issues crop up in your own writing?

Do you have tricks to catch errors? Please share them.

When you read a published book, what makes you stumble?

~~~

 

One reason Debbie Burke likes indie-publishing: goofs are easy to correct. In Dead Man’s Bluff, she discovered FILES were circling an animal carcass instead of FLIES. Took two seconds to fix and republish.

Available at all major online booksellers. 

 

True Crime Thursday – EV Getaway Cars

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AI created photo
CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 DEED

by Debbie Burke

 @burke_writer

Sales of new electric vehicles appear to be flattening somewhat due to long charging times required and lack of charging facilities.

But perhaps the most disillusioned EV drivers are criminals who tried to use them as getaway cars.

In a case from March 2023, police in Buford, Georgia apprehended two people at a Tesla charging station. They were suspected of stealing more than $8000 in electronics from Sam’s Club, a mere 10 miles away. Seems they forgot to charge their getaway car before the job.

Oops.

Even more ironic is the March 2024 story of a stolen Tesla belonging to Fox TV reporter Susan Hirasuna. Hirasuna had gone to a concert in downtown Los Angeles and came out to discover her Tesla had been stolen. But before she had time to report the theft, another report came into police of a car driving recklessly on Wall Street.

HIrasuna’s app showed that as the location of her car.

And…the battery range was down to 15 miles.

Police pursued her stolen car until it ran out of power and came to a stop in East Hollywood. One suspect was soon taken into custody but apparently two others were involved and escaped.

In a twist worthy of crime fiction, blood was found inside Hirasuna’s Tesla that tied to an earlier assault with an axe on a victim (who fortunately survived). The car was processed for fingerprints, and the search is on for suspects who are still at large.

Memo to criminals:

  1. EVs are not reliable as getaway vehicles. 
  2. EV locations can be tracked so the cops know exactly where you are.
  3. Stealing or carjacking an EV may not get you far enough to successfully outrun your misdeeds.

~~~

TKZers: Have you heard of other crimes related to EVs? 

~~~

 

The criminals in Debbie Burke’s Tawny Lindholm Thriller series are too smart to depend on EVs to elude capture.