About Sue Coletta

Sue Coletta is an award-winning crime writer and an active member of Mystery Writers of America, Sisters in Crime, and International Thriller Writers. Feedspot and Expertido.org named her Murder Blog as “Best 100 Crime Blogs on the Net.” She also blogs at the Kill Zone, Story Empire, and Writers Helping Writers. Sue lives with her husband in the Lakes Region of New Hampshire. Her backlist includes psychological thrillers, the Mayhem Series (books 1-3) and Grafton County Series, and true crime/narrative nonfiction. Now, she exclusively writes eco-thrillers, Mayhem Series (books 4-9 and continuing). Sue's appeared on the Emmy award-winning true crime series, Storm of Suspicion, and three episodes of A Time to Kill on Investigation Discovery. Learn more about Sue and her books at https://suecoletta.com

How Much Does Your Environment Influence Your Writing?

You may have noticed my absence on the weekends lately. This summer, I vowed to take some “me time” and have fun away from the keyboard.

So, I’ve been spending my weekends on the seacoast of Massachusetts. I grew up two towns over from where I’m staying, so the area will forever have a special place in my heart.

When I first started writing, I focused on children’s books. Once I left the seacoast, I stopped writing for many years. Life, work, and bills got in the way. It wasn’t until I moved to New Hampshire that the writing bug bit me again. This time with a focus on thrillers. During my career, I’ve written psychological thrillers, ventured into true crime/narrative nonfiction, then combined my lifelong passion for wildlife conservation and veered into eco-thrillers, the genre I write in now.

As I stood on the seacoast that first weekend, staring at the same view of the Atlantic Ocean from my youth and young adulthood, I had an overwhelming desire to write children’s books again. With the wisdom and knowledge of life experience behind me, I decided to use the same theme as in my eco-thrillers only geared toward young, impressionable minds — Animals are guardians of ecosystems and caretakers of Mother Earth, but they can’t do their job if we keep destroying their environment (or hunting them to extinction).

*Side note: theme should organically emerge from the storyline. No one wants or needs the writer to stand on a soapbox. Let the characters actions and reactions reveal the theme.

The following weekend I outlined the story from start to finish, the salt air and melodic melody of waves powering my desire to help future generations by delivering an exciting plot with animal characters they can relate to, learn from, and love. When I drove home on Monday morning, and the seacoast vanished from my rearview, my mind reverted to action-packed eco-thrillers and vigilante justice.

A longtime friend asked how I could make the switch from kids to adults so easily. My response? Location.

The question made me wonder if other writers experience this.

How much does our environment influence the stories we write?

Would you write in the same genre if you lived in a different area?

If you’d stay in the same genre, would a different environment change the type of characters you create?

Lastly, if I hadn’t written children’s books when I lived on the seacoast, would the Atlantic Ocean propel me to write them now?

Maybe, maybe not.

After I wrote the first draft of a wild and fun adventure for kids, I researched some of these questions. And here’s what I found.

From the Ripple Foundation:

         Your environment directly affects different aspects of your writing, from your style to the topics you write about. Through experience, your surroundings, such as location, atmosphere, and culture play a significant role in your writing. 

            Writing is an artistic medium which can change based on the environment you are writing in… Writing in places where you may have emotional and cultural ties can help you easily communicate your feelings. 

That certainly held true for me.

            The ambience of your environment is a powerful characteristic that can affect your writing. Your brain constantly picks up information from your surroundings, and your senses affect your thinking. Things like air temperature, environment, weather, and odours are processed subconsciously by you.

The human brain never ceases to amaze me. Salt air and the ambiance of the Atlantic reignited my passion to write for children.

From Brainly.ph

         The environment in which a writer lives can shape their perspective, attitudes, beliefs, and values, which can, in turn, influence the themes and messages in their literary works. For example, the Romantic poets were heavily influenced by the natural beauty of their surroundings, and their works often reflected their appreciation of nature and the importance of individual experience.

The physical environment of a region can also influence the literature that emerges from it. For instance, writers living in harsh, rural environments may draw on their experiences of hardship and survival to create stories about resilience and perseverance.

From Princeton.edu

         Scholars of great literature often are intrigued by questions that lie outside the pages of the text. For English professor Diana Fuss, one question that consumed her was: Where did my favorite writers write?

To find the answers, Fuss wrote “The Sense of an Interior: Four Writers and the Rooms That Shaped Them,” a study of the living and writing spaces of four well-known authors.

In the book, Fuss described the smoky ambiance of Sigmund Freud’s consulting room, the view from Emily Dickinson’s bedroom window, the inhospitality of Helen Keller’s house, and the claustrophobic atmosphere of Marcel Proust’s bedroom. The purpose of the book was to understand how the writers experienced their writing spaces.

“When these figures inhabited these domestic interiors, what were they seeing, hearing, smelling and touching?” Fuss said. “What was the full sensory experience of inhabiting that space, and how did the domestic interior shape the acts of introspection that took place there?”

Fuss noted that Proust, who suffered from asthma, lived in a cork-lined room with heavy drapes to keep out natural light and air. The author of “Remembrance of Things Past,” a work suffused in sensory experience, “found it necessary to suspend the senses in order to write about them,” according to Fuss.

Her findings corrected some misconceptions. Dickinson, for example, has long been portrayed as a helpless agoraphobic trapped in a dark, coffin-like room in her father’s house. When in fact, Dickinson’s corner bedroom had the best light and views in the entire house.

“It was a room that invested her with scopic power,” Fuss said. “Far from being confined in her room, she in fact was a kind of family sentinel.”

TKZers, let me ask you the question I posed earlier.

How much does your environment influence the stories you write? If you’ve resided or spent an extended period elsewhere, did you write in the same genre? How did your stories change, if it all?

Choosing A Unique (But Fitting) Talent for Your Character

I’m traveling today, so I invited the uber-talented Becca Puglisi to fill in for me. Don’t be shy in leaving her comments. I’ll join you tomorrow when I return from vacation. Enjoy!

I truly believe that excellent stories require excellent characters. And with so many books already out there—4 million published in the US in 2022 alone—we’ve got to be able to deliver compelling and realistic characters to set our stories apart. How do we do it? By focusing on the details. And one of the markers that can really boost individuality and memorability for a character is their particular talents or skills.

Every person has something they’re good at. Sometimes it’s a gift they’re born with that comes naturally; for others, it’s a carefully nurtured and honed ability. Many times, a character’s talent says something about who they are: it may tie into their belief system, meet a missing need, honor an influential person in their life, or reveal associated personality traits.

But despite the many talents and skills out there, we tend to see the same ones in books all the time. Now, if your story requires your character have a certain ability, that’s fine; sometimes, we don’t get to choose their special abilities. But if you’ve got more latitude, consider one of the following techniques for coming up with a skill that’s a little more original.

Go for Something Unusual

Sometimes it’s as easy as thinking beyond the obvious options. Instead of being a strong runner or artist, maybe your character could have a talent that’s a little less mainstream, like sleight of hand, lip-reading, or a knack for languages. Do you need them to be an athlete? Consider a sport readers haven’t seen a million times, like cricket, curling, water polo, or parkour. Your skilled forager could be urban rather than rural, fishing goodies out storm drains or dumpsters.

If you’re writing in a genre with fantastical elements, you can get really creative by giving your character an extrasensory ability or something that’s specific to your fantasy or paranormal world. Their skill will obviously have to work within the overall story and the world you’ve created, but you have more choices than you know, so don’t be afraid to branch out and try something new.

Encourage Your Character to Specialize

One way to come up with an unusual ability is to take a popular one and make it more specific. If your character is mechanically inclined, they may be particularly adept with machines from a certain region, time period, or industry. A marksman might specialize in one weapon, and maybe it’s not the typical rifle (Crossbow? Darts? Slingshot?). Your assassin may prefer to work with and have extensive knowledge of poisons. Breathe new life into a ho-hum strength by narrowing the focus.

Give a Common Talent a Twist

It’s not always necessary to reinvent the wheel; often, you can come up with something new by tweaking a popular talent. If musicality is your character’s thing, don’t make her a singer or piano player; maybe she really shines by writing music or crafting certain instruments. A character’s photographic memory may only be reliable for a few hours after events have happened. A person who blows off steam by knitting might use their talent to create blankets for preemies or hats for the homeless. In the latter case, the talent can also hint at personality traits (empathy, selflessness, generosity), hobbies, or other areas of passion.

We get more bang for the buck when our characterization and description elements do double duty, so if a character’s skill can also say something about who they are, that’s a bonus for readers.

Pair It with an Unexpected Personality Trait

Many skills are associated with certain traits because they often go together. For instance, people who are good with numbers are usually pretty analytical. But that doesn’t mean the two have to go together. A character with this ability could be highly creative or emotional, instead, and you’d end up with someone unexpected. Likewise, you could have a gifted public speaker who is painfully shy, stumbling their way through one-on-one conversations. This trick can be especially helpful when your story requires a common talent; get creative with your character’s traits, instead, and you can come up with something new that will pique readers’ interests.

In conclusion, an area of skill is a great way to individualize a character—but remember that it can’t be random. There are reasons people embrace and nurture certain talents. They come from somewhere: a natural aptitude, a shared passion with a loved one, the desire for approval or acceptance, etc. So a special ability shouldn’t be chosen at random. Always know the why behind it. Once you’ve ensured it ties naturally into their overall character profile, use these suggestions to take a character’s talent or skill to the next level.

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and other resources for writers. Her books have sold over 1 million copies and are available in multiple languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world.

She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online resource for authors that’s home to the Character Builder and Storyteller’s Roadmap tools.

 

Word Porn: Gobsmacked When She Mantled Him

Have you ever been watching a movie or a net-streaming series, and a character uses such a visceral word it stops you cold?

This happened to me last weekend, and I immediately reached for my phone to jot it down. The word painted the perfect mental image. Isn’t that what we all strive for?

The word is mantled or mantling, used as a verb. Have you heard or read this word in a novel? I had not. And I love new-to-me words, especially verbs.

Dictionary defines mantle as:

  1. Literary

Clothe in or as if in a mantle; cloak or envelop.

  • Archaic

(of blood) suffuse (the face).

“A warm pink mounted to the girl’s cheeks and mantled her brow.”

  • Archaic

(of the face) glow with a blush.

“Her rich face mantling with emotion.”

  • Archaic

(of a liquid) become covered with a head or froth

“The poison mantled in the bowl.”

  1. (of a bird of prey on the ground or on a perch) spread the wings and tail to cover captured prey.

“The female Goshawk is feeding while mantling with spread wings over her prey.”

Origin

Latin       Old English   Old French    Modern

mantellum –> mentel –>  mantel –> mantle

As an unwritten “rule” it’s often best to steer clear of archaic usages unless we’re writing in that time period, but all the above definitions really work for me.

The context in which I heard mantled was in a comedy.

How can I say this without offending anyone? An obese (curvy? full-figured?) woman fell on top of this peanut of a man. When they landed on the ground, only his hands and feet protruded from beneath her.

One of the onlookers said, “Look how she mantled that poor guy.”

I died, laughing! Which made the verb even more memorable.

While I was in Dictionary.com, I looked up one of my favorite words: gobsmacked. Again, it paints the perfect mental image. Doesn’t it?

Definition

  1. Utterly astounded; astonished

“I was truly gobsmacked by their decision.”

Gobsmacked is an adjective that means completely shocked. The word gobsmacked comes from England and Scotland, where it is used as slang to express extreme shock. Gobsmacked is often used by people from these areas.

Example: She was absolutely gobsmacked when she discovered a large pile of money under the floorboards.

Where does gobsmacked come from?

Based on the parts of the word, feeling gobsmacked is equivalent to feeling like you’ve been (figuratively) hit in the mouth: gob is slang for “mouth” and smack is a verb that means “to hit.”

The suffix -ed, which indicates past tense, turns the word into an adjective. The first records of its use come from around the mid-1930s. It’s now a common slang term in the UK and is also used somewhat commonly in the US and other English-speaking areas.

Though gobsmacked means “astounded” or “astonished” to the point of being speechless, you don’t say it any time you want to mean “shocked.” It’s use calls attention to the fact that you were not expecting what happened — a lot like flabbergasted.

For example, someone might say they were gobsmacked when they won the lottery, or when they found out something costs much more than they thought, or when a long-lost friend surprised them with an unexpected visit.

When was the last time you were gobsmacked?

Have you used the word mantled in your writing? Please give us the context.

Emotional Trigger Words + The Id

A trigger word is a word that evokes a strong emotional reaction to compel someone to act. The reaction could be anything from clicking an article, opening an email, or buying a product. Like with most things in life, we don’t want to abuse trigger words. If used ethically, trigger words can help our books/newsletters/blog/articles reach a wider audience.

How are Emotional Triggers Formed?

The same way we trigger emotion in readers—tickle the senses. Some of our most powerful memories include the smell, sound, or taste of certain things when associated with a positive or negative connotation. But trigger words work differently.

All decisions made by us or others consist of multiple conscious and subconscious emotions. By delving into the psychology behind human behavior, we can increase sales and visibility.

4 Emotional Triggers

#1) Belonging

It’s human nature to want to belong to something. The writing community, a family, book clubs, critique groups, a religious organization, or other social groups. Giving people a sense of belonging works remarkably well. For example, I write “join my community” rather than “subscribe (which has a negative connotation) to my newsletter.” That little tweak makes a huge difference in how the message is received.

Trigger words for belonging

  • Community
  • Join
  • Become a member
  • Mutual
  • We
  • Together
  • Society
  • Neighborhood

#2) Fear

I can’t see why authors would want to use a fear tactic, but it’s listed as a marketing ploy. Though you could use fear triggers as keywords or in a book description.

Trigger words for fear

  • Worry
  • Anxiety
  • Concern
  • Terror
  • Death
  • Toxic
  • Mistake
  • Embarrassed
  • Nightmare
  • Doubt
  • Phobia
  • Horrific
  • Disastrous
  • Plummet
  • Warning
  • Danger
  • Looming
  • Shattered

#3) Guilt

Guilt is a powerful emotion, right? Charity organizations overuse this tactic. For us, triggering a guilt response would not be an effective way to market books. But we can use the trigger words in book descriptions or as keywords/key phrases for better targeting.

Trigger words for guilt

  • Goodwill
  • Humane
  • Disgrace
  • Shame
  • Disgusting
  • Charity
  • Donation
  • Mercy
  • Kindness
  • Empathy
  • Generosity
  • Compassion
  • Bleed for
  • Sympathize with
  • Feel for
  • Grief
  • Sorrow
  • Understand

#4) Trust

Trust is important for building a long-term business. When readers trust you to deliver the same quality in each book, article, or newsletter, you’ll build a loyal audience. Don’t try to fake this emotion, or it’ll backfire.

A few ways to show you’re trustworthy

  • Be transparent
  • Display reviews from other readers
  • Be genuine
  • Show you’re human, not perfect

In one newsletter, I wrote, “I have no words of wisdom for you today. The well is dry. I left all my emotions on the page.” I never once tried to fake it. And y’know what? I received the sweetest responses. Being emotionally spent is something we’ve all experienced, so we relate. We empathize.

Trigger words for trust

  • Caring
  • Fair treatment
  • Quality
  • Competency
  • Apologize
  • Sorry
  • Change
  • Never
  • Always
  • Privacy

The Pleasure Principle

In Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalysis, he described the pleasure principle as the instinctual force that motivates people to seek pleasure, to satisfy biological and psychological needs, and to avoid pain. The id resides in a primitive part of the psyche and is the only part of the personality that’s present at birth. Which explains the terrible twos. The ego doesn’t develop till age three or four.

Three major components of personality

  • The id – impulsive part of one’s personality that is driven by pleasure and repulsed by pain
  • Ego – conscious part of one’s personality that mediates between the id and superego and makes decisions
  • Superego – judgmental and morally correct part of one’s personality

Freud conceived the id as the unconscious mind’s primary source of motivation for all human behavior, from basic wants and needs (think: hunger and thirst) to emotional expression, impulses (think: aggression), and sexual desires. The id acts according to the pleasure principle — it seeks to fulfill its needs and desires in any way possible while avoiding pain or discomfort.

We live in a world of immediate gratification. No longer do we need to wait for the stores to stock a new album or novel. We can download it in seconds.

Can you guess how social media might affect the balance of the three components of personality? Likes, comments, and shares feed the id while making it difficult for the ego to mediate the feud with the superego. Hence why some people feel the need to condemn others and cast judgment.

TKZers, have you considered using psychology in your marketing? Do you use trigger words in book descriptions, keywords, and/or marketing?

Please note: I’ll be on the road today and will respond to comments later this afternoon. Hope you all have a fabulous day!

How Did I Get Here?

With Memorial Day upon us, many folks will be on the road, listening to music or daydreaming while stuck in traffic. Nothing at all interesting about it. Though we want our stories to mimic real life, showing every moment or mile gets boring and repetitive fast.

My characters are constantly on the move. If I showed the entire drive, boat ride, or flight, I’d destroy the pacing. Instead, move characters from point A to B by skipping the boring parts.

via GIPHY
When we jump ahead, tell the reader how much time has passed.

Nothing is more jarring than a character at home one minute and in the next paragraph they’re in a new location with no explanation of how they got there. Ground the reader in the first sentence. Or at least, in the first paragraph. Some writers include a scene break between paragraphs — either white space or *** — but that still does not absolve us from orienting the reader.

Show the characters getting into the car. Add a few lines of plot-related dialogue or trees zip past the window to show movement. And boom, they arrive at their new destination. Or, if nothing interesting happens, write something like…

Forty grueling minutes later without air conditioner, I arrived at the hotel with a wet scalp and my t-shirt molded to my chest.

A new chapter signals a time or POV change and/or a new setting.

It’s fine to speed past uneventful stretches in a story. In fact, it’s encouraged. Just be sure to give the reader a sense of how much time has lapsed, especially at the start of a new chapter. Even if we include a timestamp, we should still mention it as many readers will only recall whether the previous chapter took place during daylight or darkness.

Don’t make them have to backtrack to guess where or when the chapter begins.

If the action continues from the previous chapter, it’s still a good idea to set the scene with a brief mention of any time gaps or sensory cue to ground the reader. It doesn’t have to be complicated. “A few hours later” does the trick.

Establish who is present in every scene.

Nothing irks me more than a character appearing out of nowhere to offer a clue when they weren’t in the scene earlier. Too convenient. And frankly, obvious and lazy.

Again, adding a character to a scene needn’t be complicated…

The screen door slapped open, and Jack strolled out to the porch.

Now the reader knows he’s there, so when he offers that all-important clue, it makes sense within the scene.

Change in POV

As a reader and a writer, I don’t understand the fad of including the POV character’s name at the top of each chapter. In my opinion, it’s unnecessary. If we ground the reader in the character’s POV right away, they should know whose head they’re in without a label. If they don’t, then we’ve failed to set the scene. I prefer rotating POVs. They’re easy to follow and add to the overall rhythm of the story.

If you want to include the POV character’s name as a chapter heading, then by all means do so. It’s your story.

The main takeaway for this post is to orient the reader, whether the characters are on the move or we switch to a new POV.

For writers: How do you handle travel or signal a change in POV?

For readers: Have you ever been jarred out of a story due to a change in space or time?

Happy Memorial Day to TKZers in the U.S.!

Arm Your Antagonist with This Important Weapon

I’ve got a special treat for you today. Becca Puglisi joins us with tips on how to flesh out antagonists. Please help me welcome her back to TKZ.

Cover linked to Amazon

We all know the importance of tapping into our character’s feelings and conveying those clearly to readers. When we do this, readers connect with our characters and become invested in the story. This is how we keep them engaged beyond the first few pages or chapters.

But sometimes our characters don’t want to “go there” emotionally. Maybe they’re resistant to change and have a death grip on the status quo. They might be uncomfortable with certain emotions and will try to hide or repress them. Un-dealt-with trauma may cause them to avoid their feelings. There are a lot of reasons a character might need an extra push to get them out of their emotional comfort zone. And the best way to do this is with an amplifier. Emotion amplifiers are specific states or conditions that influence what the character feels by disrupting their equilibrium and reducing their ability to think critically.

Distraction, bereavement, and exhaustion are examples. Emotionally speaking, these states destabilize the character and nudge them toward poor judgments, bad decisions, and mistakes—all of which result in more friction and increased tension in the story. And that’s often what we want.

But we’re not the only ones invested in making life difficult for our characters. Villains, rivals, frenemies, antiheroes, and other morally flexible characters will often seek to undermine other characters as a means of controlling them or manipulating their circumstances. A strategically used amplifier is a great tool for bringing those devious pursuits to fruition. Here are a few examples of short-term goals your bad guy or girl may pursue and how an amplifier can help bring them about.

MANIPULATING MOOD

Mood is a temporary state of mind—tending toward negative or positive—that is often influenced by external stimuli. It affects a character’s perception of themselves, other people, and their situation and influences their decision-making.

Someone with a vested interest in changing the character’s mood can easily do so with an amplifier. Maybe they purposefully put the protagonist into a state of exhaustion by disrupting their sleep, or they force them to endure the hardship of cold temperatures by killing their heater in winter. As the character’s mood swings, they go right where the adversary wants them: emotionally elevated, irritable, and distracted from what really matters.

ENSURING COMPLIANCE

Antagonists tend to crave compliance; after all, it’s a lot easier to dominate others when they’re not actively fighting against you. If the protagonist hasn’t yet recognized their enemy, all the adversary has to do is quietly manipulate the situation to weaken them. Then they can step in and lead the character in the wrong direction, offer self-serving advice, or magnify any cognitive or emotional dissonances already in play.

In the movie Ghost, Molly’s husband Sam is dead, and she’s in the throes of bereavement. Her good friend Carl (who, unbeknownst to Molly, was responsible for Sam’s death) is now subtly putting the romantic moves on her. His attempts are unsuccessful, so he takes a different tack by pushing her deeper into grief, deliberately using her situation to make her more vulnerable and open to suggestion—a despicable but frequently successful way to gain control and influence over someone’s decisions.

Another way a character can ensure compliance is by introducing an amplifier to create an undesirable situation, then using that situation to “rescue” the victim. Consider a greedy land baron who wants to take over a town, if he can just depose the matriarch. So he uses his considerable resources to create a local famine. Crops fail, people and animals go hungry, and the coming winter promises even greater suffering and death. Fear becomes as abundant as food once was. The matriarch, unable to identify the cause of the famine, is powerless to resolve the problem.

Then a stranger comes to town. He expresses sympathy for the villagers and reverses the famine to provide food until the next harvest. The indebted villagers begin to view him as more capable and resourceful than their own matriarch, and voilà! Through a fabricated disaster fueled by hunger and fear, the antagonist has earned the trust of the people and is on his way to claiming the village for himself.

CAUSING A PSYCHOLOGICAL DERAILMENT

But what if it’s not enough to simply win people over? In extreme cases, an antagonist may need to break down their opponent mentally and emotionally before building them back up in their own image. Leveraging the following amplifiers can help accomplish this.

Isolation: Separating a character from other people and even the wider world creates an unmet need in the area of social connection (love and belonging on Maslow’s hierarchy). Isolated characters make easier targets because of their emotional vulnerability and their longing to be accepted by others.

Confinement: Trapping or restricting a character in some way makes them emotionally volatile and reliant, forcing them to depend upon their captor for release, information, or whatever they need to survive.

Forced addiction: Creating a dependency on drugs, medicine, or other substances alters the character’s mental state, tempting them to sacrifice their moral code and reconstruct their priorities as the substance becomes the most important thing.

Torture and trauma: These potent tools, applied directly to the character or indirectly to loved ones, make the protagonist more fragile and easier to break.

Brainwashing. Thought reform through altering the character’s beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors is the tool of a morally destitute antagonist. This subtle process twists fear and hope in a perverse way to rewire the subject’s brain to align with the adversary’s own ideas.

These are difficult notions to consider, particularly as we know these amplifiers are used in the real world for heinous purposes. As such, writers shouldn’t deploy them casually. But they are legitimate options for a corrupt character who’s motivated enough to use them.

There are so many ways a character may seek to achieve their nefarious goals, and an amplifier can be the most effective. Make your antagonist a force to be reckoned with. Arm them with amplifiers that will make them more powerful, create challenges for the protagonist to navigate, and encourage readers to keep turning pages to see who wins.

 

For more information on amplifiers and how they can empower antagonists (and steer story structure, encourage character growth…the list goes on!), keep an eye out for the 2nd edition of The Emotion Amplifier Thesaurus, releasing on May 13th. Available now!

Happy Release Day, Becca!

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and other resources for writers. Her books have sold over 1 million copies and are available in multiple languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online resource for authors that’s home to the Character Builder and Storyteller’s Roadmap tools.

Yes or No Questions in Dialogue

Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/geralt-9301/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=973992">Gerd Altmann</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com//?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=973992">Pixabay</a>The other day, I stumbled across writing advice that was only half-true. The advice said to never use yes or no questions in dialogue. The writer made a valid point that yes/no questions stop the action. True. But that’s only half right.

If the MC asks a yes/no question, the action doesn’t need to stop if it’s in the right context, with body language that screams the opposite, or includes hints the character might be lying. We can also use “Yes/No, but” to maintain pace and the trajectory of the story and to create more conflict.

Let’s look at a few examples. I wrote these quick so no judgments. 😉

“Junior, did you steal another cookie from the jar?”

The little boy dragged the back of his wrist across chocolate-covered lips. “No, Mama.”

The story continues because the kid’s body language tells us he’s lying.

Big Dan stroked his daughter’s back. “Are you excited to marry Tommy?”

Yes, but not today.”

“We’re in the church!”

The wedding song blared from the speakers.

“Tell me what you want to do, honey.”

“Hide?”

There’s more to that story, right?

“Why didn’t you come home last night, sis?”

“I stayed at a hotel.”

“Which one?”

“Why? What’s it matter?”

“Jason didn’t come home, either.”

“You think I slept with your husband?”

“Did you?”

“Are you seriously asking me if I’m having an affair with Jason?”

Notice how she responds with another question? Sounds a lot like guilt. Or maybe it’s anger. We’ll keep reading to find out.

“Is that blood?”

Silent, he wiped his cheek.

“You promised me.”

He strode into the kitchen, with the nag on his heels. “I did not kill our babysitter.”

“Then where is she? I won’t go through it again. The cops, the jury, the reporters.” A continual tap of her foot clenched his jaw. “If you’re innocent, give me the basement key.”

No.” He sniggered. “But it’s about time I gave you a private tour.”

Will he kill her, or is he innocent? We’ll keep reading to find out.

This last example I borrowed from one of my novels. The “no, but” construction is in bold. For clarity, Poe is a crow.

“You bought Poe a necklace,” he said as a statement, not a question. “After eleven p.m.”

“Yep.”

“And you paid for the necklace?”

“Cost me three hundred bucks.”

“If you bought the jewelry, you could produce a receipt. Correct?”

Crap. “Not exactly.”

“Be honest with me. Did you steal the necklace?”

“No, sir. I swear I didn’t. Ask Poe if you don’t believe me.”

“Perhaps I should rephrase.” Praying hands tapped his lips. “Was the store open when you allegedly paid for the jewelry?”

I picked at my cuticles. “No, but I swear I didn’t steal it.”

“And the reason you couldn’t wait for the store to reopen is…?”

“Because Pissy Pants over there”—I jutted a thumb at the little diva—“wouldn’t even gimme twenty-four hours. If anyone should be in trouble, it’s him. Unless you condone blackmail?”

He rocked back on his heels. “Blackmail?”

So, can we use a yes/no question in dialogue? Absolutely… if it leads to more conflict. Otherwise, we’ve wasted precious real estate.

Thoughts? There is a ton of terrible or incomplete writing advice online. Have any new ones to share? Please explain why the advice doesn’t make sense.

One Word Holds Power

Have you ever received a text from a family member or close friend and knew something was wrong even though the words indicated the opposite?

I’ll show you what I mean with a real-life example.

The Kid planned to drive up to deliver ducks to the couple who lives at the top of our mountain, off-the-grid in a year-round camp surrounded by tall pines, oak, birch, and maple trees. By 10 a.m. that morning, we still hadn’t heard from The Kid, which is unusual. He’s always been an early riser.

So, I shot him a text. “Still planning to come up today?”

Several minutes dragged by before he responded. “Yes.”

My intuition tapped me on the shoulder. Something’s wrong. He never responds with one word. Besides, a simple yes didn’t give me enough information. If he brought all three grandkids, I would need to plan to feed six rather than three.

Plus, I let my little fur-babies run around my office during the day, but our grandchildren have a habit of leaving doors open. So, when they visit, it’s safer to leave them in their guinea pig habitat.

I texted back, “The Joe and the chicks coming, too?”

Another long pause. “Just The Joe.”

“You okay? You sound… I dunno… off.”

The Kid knows I’m tuned into him. Over the years I’ve learned to trust my intuition, and it has never failed me. Lying would be pointless.

“I was chasing ducks.”

“Okay, cool,” I texted, but something told me “chasing ducks” wasn’t the full story. Regardless, I didn’t want to push the issue via text. “I get the feeling you won’t be staying long.”

“We can stay for a bit.” The five-minute pause seemed to last twenty. “The longer the better. LOL”

And there it was—the first hint of the real reason he seemed off. Which he’d spill in person. It’s much harder to hide behind a false façade while staring into a concerned parent’s eyes. Though I’d never want to come across as pushy—he is a grown man, after all—I can’t take it when my kid is hurting. I don’t care how old he is. I’ll always be fiercely protective of his beautiful heart.

I do have a point to all this.

With that one simple word—Yes—I, the reader, knew to pay attention. That yes held power. That yes held unlimited power, more powerful than if he’d written an entire paragraph.

Writers should do the same. It’s a simple but effective way to add tension to a scene, cause a disturbance, and cue the reader to pay attention. The one-word, staccato sentence is a tool used for emphasis.

Run. Now.

It’s short and to the point. It calls attention to itself and exploits a reader’s emotions. Varying sentence structure holds a reader’s attention.

The following example looks like an exaggeration, but I once had to critique the first few pages of a novel written just like it.

As he stared at me, I could not look away. As I moved around the room, his stare held me hostage. As he moved closer, I told him to stop. As I backed away, he kept coming.

Every sentence began with “As” for three, never-ending pages. Not only is it grueling and repetitive, it’s annoying to read.

Rewrite:

His wolf-like stare held me hostage. Stop. Please stop. He moved closer. I backed away. Dear God, no. Not again. My spine hit the wall, my fingers searching behind me for the doorframe.

See how much more immediate the second example sounds? We don’t want to overdo it, but nothing can replace a well-placed staccato sentence here and there.

Writers have access to a plethora of writing tips, but it’s important not to overlook simple ways to hone our craft, like the act of reading and sentence structure.

Thoughts? Let’s discuss. 

 

Warriors battle a ruthless animal trafficking ring in Yellowstone. They will protect the sacred lineage of American Buffalo by any means necessary.

Even murder.

Download a sample on Amazon

 

Writing Quotes, Inspiration, and Life Advice From Famous Authors

I love writing quotes. Recently, I stumbled across new-to-me writing, inspirational, and life advice quotes from famous authors. Too much spot-on advice not to share here on TKZ. Plus, I’m writing eighteen different articles to spread the news about my new eco-thriller. 😉

Writing Quotes

“The purpose of a writer is to keep civilization from destroying itself.” — Albert Camus

“As a writer, you should not judge, you should understand.” — Ernest Hemingway

“To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme.” — Herman Melville

“As for ‘Write what you know,’ I was regularly told this as a beginner. I think it’s very good rule and have always obeyed it. I write about imaginary countries, alien societies on other planets, dragons, wizards, the Napa Valley in 22002. I know these things. I know them better than anybody else possibly could, so it’s my duty to testify about them.” — Ursula K. Le Guin

“You should write because you love the shape of stories and sentences and the creation of different words on a page. Writing comes from reading, and reading is the finest teacher of how to write.” — Annie Proulx

“Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread roots into the very depth of your heart; confess to yourself you have to die if you were forbidden to write.” — Rainer Maria Rilke

“A good writer possesses not only his own spirit but also the spirit of his friends.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

“Your writing voice is the deepest possible reflection of who you are. The job of your voice is not to seduce or flatter or make well-shaped sentences. In your voice, your readers should be able to hear the contents of your mind, your heart, your soul.” — Meg Rosoff

“Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book, or for another book. Give it, give it all, give it now.” — Annie Dillard

“If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” — Toni Morrison

“Tears are words that need to be written.” — Paulo Coelho

Inspirational Quotes by Writers

“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.” — Virginia Woolf

“The strongest principle of growth lies in the human choice.” — George Eliot

“Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself.” — Mark Twain

“Jump off a cliff and build your wings on the way down.” — Ray Bradbury

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re doing something.” — Neil Gaiman

“Don’t bend. Don’t water it down. Don’t try to make it logical. Don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.” — Franz Kafka

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” — Mark Twain

“Maybe it’s not about having a beautiful day, but about finding beautiful moments. Maybe a whole day is just too much to ask. I could choose to believe that in every day, in all things, no matter how dark and ugly, there are shards of beauty if I look for them.” — Anna White

“Trust our heart if the seas catch fire, live by love though the stars walk backwards.” — E. E. Cummings

“One day I find the right words, and they will be simple.” — Jack Kerouac

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” — Maya Angelou

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” — Alice Walker

Life Advice From Writers

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” — Oscar Wilde

“That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.” — Emily Dickinson

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” — George Eliot

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” — Haruki Murakami

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” — Plato

“Unable are the loved to die for love is immortality.” — Emily Dickinson

“Let me live, love, and say it well in good sentences.” — Sylvia Plath

“Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose.” — C.S. Lewis

Are you inspired yet? Great! Get to work. 😉 Do you have a favorite?

Amidst the wild and unforgiving landscapes of Yellowstone Park, eco-warriors Mayhem and Shawnee race against the clock to protect an American Buffalo herd from the ruthless Killzme Corporation.

With a massive bounty on their heads and an army of killers on their trail, Mayhem and Shawnee risk it all to preserve the sacred lineage of the Innocent Ones.

There is no line Shawnee and Mayhem won’t cross.

Even murder.

As the danger intensifies and the clock winds down, will they be able to save the herd? Or will this be the mission that finally breaks them?

Preorder for 99c. Sale ends on release day, April 11, 2024.

How To Use White Space

When I was first learning the craft, I studied many novels, searching for how the author drew me in, held me in suspense, and propelled me to turn the page. Still do. 😉 One of the things I noticed was their use of white space — the blank field around the words and paragraphs.

White space can help create drama, emotion, or add a quiet pause before the storm hits. With so many “rules” or guidelines, sometimes white space can get overlooked. Yet it’s a powerful tool when used with intent.

Let’s look at a few examples. The first two are from our own James Scott Bell.

Last Call from JSB:

“Yo,” she said. “Go back to your table, okay?”

He stiffened and his smile melted into his beard. “Real friendly.” He shook his head as he went back to his table. He turned his laptop around then sat with his back to her.

Just like the rest of the world.

Long Lost from JSB:

With the wind blowing outside, Stevie fell into a calm sleep. Deep like the desert night.

He woke up with a rough hand over his mouth. Pressing him down. Maybe it was Robert playing a game. But it wasn’t. It was something big.

A monster.

 

The eye is drawn to the last line in both examples. They’re sharp and dramatic when sectioned by white space.

In the Eyes of the Dead by Jordan Dane:

I wanted to fight it, but I couldn’t. The hopelessness of becoming a victim rushed over me like a floodgate opening. I nearly choked on the magnitude of it. Images of my ordeal bombarded me. I caught glimpses of another face. It all happened too fast, I wasn’t sure I could retain what I’d seen.

Just like last time.

Again, Jordan could’ve set the last line in the same paragraph, but it would lose its punch there.

We can also use white space to break up dialogue.

Here’s an example from Skinwalkers by Tony Hillerman:

“Then you know that if I was a witch, I could turn myself into something else. Into a burrowing owl. I could fly out the smoke hole and go away into the night.”

Silence.

“But I am not a witch. I am just a man. I am a singer. A yataalii. I have learned the ways to cure. Some of them. I know the songs to protect you against a witching. But I am not a witch.”

See how “silence” added to the drama? Had he put all the dialogue into one paragraph, it wouldn’t be as effective, even with an intriguing conversation.

The Killing Song by PJ Parish:

The cold nub that had formed in my gut was growing. I was never one to trust vague feelings. I was a reporter and trained to believe only what I could see, what I could prove.

But the feeling rising up and putting a choke hold on my heart now was real.

Mandy was gone.

That last line smacks you in the face — because it’s separated by white space.

Blonde Hair, Blue Eyes by Karin Slaughter:

The line finally moved, and Julia went into the first stall. She felt her pager vibrate as she started to unbutton her jeans. She didn’t scroll the number right away. She sat down on the toilet. She looked up at the ceiling. She looked at the posters taped to the back of the stall door. She finally looked down at the pager. She pressed the button to scroll the number.

222.

Her heart broke into a million pieces.

222.

Julia looked up, trying to keep her tears from falling. She sniffed. She counted to a slow one hundred. She looked down again, because maybe she was wrong.

222.

 

The repetition also draws you in. If the author were to continue too long, the rhythm would lose its value. When done with intent, it’s dramatic and effective.

The last example is from my new thriller, Savage Mayhem (releases once my designer completes my cover).

A hair-raising screech stopped me mid-stride, my heartbeat quickened to a fast pitter-patter, pitter-patter, pitter-patter. Quaking aspen leaves trembled as we passed. Night owls slalomed through the trees, oarlike wings emitting a whoosh with each stroke. To my left, sticks crunched under heavy paws. Or hooves.

Bear?

Moose?

Wolf?

Here, I used white space for a dramatic pause and to draw attention to each individual threat. Which allows the reader to wonder. I also used Onomatopoeia words to deepen the scene.

White space can help fix long, rambling passages of text, pacing issues, and story rhythm. It’s a tool we should never overlook. Use the precious real estate to your advantage.

With the exception of mine (this is NOT a shameless plug), I recommend all these books. They’re fabulous.

Have you read any of them? Did you notice the white space while reading? Do you pay attention to white space in your writing?