When I was first learning the craft, I studied many novels, searching for how the author drew me in, held me in suspense, and propelled me to turn the page. Still do. 😉 One of the things I noticed was their use of white space — the blank field around the words and paragraphs.
White space can help create drama, emotion, or add a quiet pause before the storm hits. With so many “rules” or guidelines, sometimes white space can get overlooked. Yet it’s a powerful tool when used with intent.
Let’s look at a few examples. The first two are from our own James Scott Bell.
Last Call from JSB:
“Yo,” she said. “Go back to your table, okay?”
He stiffened and his smile melted into his beard. “Real friendly.” He shook his head as he went back to his table. He turned his laptop around then sat with his back to her.
Just like the rest of the world.
Long Lost from JSB:
With the wind blowing outside, Stevie fell into a calm sleep. Deep like the desert night.
He woke up with a rough hand over his mouth. Pressing him down. Maybe it was Robert playing a game. But it wasn’t. It was something big.
A monster.
The eye is drawn to the last line in both examples. They’re sharp and dramatic when sectioned by white space.
In the Eyes of the Dead by Jordan Dane:
I wanted to fight it, but I couldn’t. The hopelessness of becoming a victim rushed over me like a floodgate opening. I nearly choked on the magnitude of it. Images of my ordeal bombarded me. I caught glimpses of another face. It all happened too fast, I wasn’t sure I could retain what I’d seen.
Just like last time.
Again, Jordan could’ve set the last line in the same paragraph, but it would lose its punch there.
We can also use white space to break up dialogue.
Here’s an example from Skinwalkers by Tony Hillerman:
“Then you know that if I was a witch, I could turn myself into something else. Into a burrowing owl. I could fly out the smoke hole and go away into the night.”
Silence.
“But I am not a witch. I am just a man. I am a singer. A yataalii. I have learned the ways to cure. Some of them. I know the songs to protect you against a witching. But I am not a witch.”
See how “silence” added to the drama? Had he put all the dialogue into one paragraph, it wouldn’t be as effective, even with an intriguing conversation.
The Killing Song by PJ Parish:
The cold nub that had formed in my gut was growing. I was never one to trust vague feelings. I was a reporter and trained to believe only what I could see, what I could prove.
But the feeling rising up and putting a choke hold on my heart now was real.
Mandy was gone.
That last line smacks you in the face — because it’s separated by white space.
Blonde Hair, Blue Eyes by Karin Slaughter:
The line finally moved, and Julia went into the first stall. She felt her pager vibrate as she started to unbutton her jeans. She didn’t scroll the number right away. She sat down on the toilet. She looked up at the ceiling. She looked at the posters taped to the back of the stall door. She finally looked down at the pager. She pressed the button to scroll the number.
222.
Her heart broke into a million pieces.
222.
Julia looked up, trying to keep her tears from falling. She sniffed. She counted to a slow one hundred. She looked down again, because maybe she was wrong.
222.
The repetition also draws you in. If the author were to continue too long, the rhythm would lose its value. When done with intent, it’s dramatic and effective.
The last example is from my new thriller, Savage Mayhem (releases once my designer completes my cover).
A hair-raising screech stopped me mid-stride, my heartbeat quickened to a fast pitter-patter, pitter-patter, pitter-patter. Quaking aspen leaves trembled as we passed. Night owls slalomed through the trees, oarlike wings emitting a whoosh with each stroke. To my left, sticks crunched under heavy paws. Or hooves.
Bear?
Moose?
Wolf?
Here, I used white space for a dramatic pause and to draw attention to each individual threat. Which allows the reader to wonder. I also used Onomatopoeia words to deepen the scene.
White space can help fix long, rambling passages of text, pacing issues, and story rhythm. It’s a tool we should never overlook. Use the precious real estate to your advantage.
With the exception of mine (this is NOT a shameless plug), I recommend all these books. They’re fabulous.
Have you read any of them? Did you notice the white space while reading? Do you pay attention to white space in your writing?