Way back in 2007, I took a trip to Vietnam—by the way, never go to Vietnam in July—with a medical mission team comprised of about a hundred people of varying ages.
I’d never been out of the country before except for a quick trip to a small town just south of the border when I was in college in LA.
In Vietnam, my job was working in the medical labs we set up in various places to bring needed care to the locals. Hundreds of people walked to our locations to see a doctor, sometimes carrying their children and their elderly.
The trip changed me. Let’s just say I was glad to arrive back home (where there are no spiders as big as my hand), but I’ve never forgotten the sights, sounds, and smells. One thing I particularly remember was the light-up-the-room smiles on faces even in the midst of intense suffering. Amazing!
TKZers—what is the best adventure you’ve ever had? And how did it change you?
As a writer, I like to collect fun words and expressions. How about you?
Here are some that caught my attention:
ADMINISTRIVIA
During our recent interview, author and podcaster Pamela Fagan Hutchins introduced me to this portmanteau. Two words are combined to make a new word that relates to both.
These days, seems like half my time is taken up with administrivia such as filling out unnecessary forms, taking surveys, answering repetitive questions I already answered at least four times. Businesses, governmental entities, medical practitioners, banks, etc. specialize in administrivia with their ongoing demands for personal information because they want to sell us something.
PRETZELITIS
Indie film producer Holly Soriano coined this term for an affliction that writers often have. We twist ourselves into all sorts of mental contortions trying to make a character or plot work.
The verb form is pretzelize.
The cure for pretzelitis is often critique from an objective editor or beta reader who recognizes the problem and tells us that we’re overthinking the story.
NOT MY FARM, NOT MY PIGS
“Not my circus, not my clowns” has become a cliche. So that’s why I appreciated this fresh twist to convey not my problem. A friend heard it from her country neighbor.
Sign at the local laundry and dry cleaners:
WHAT IS IRONY?
THE OPPOSITE OF WRINKLY
CODE BROWN
At the gym when a little kid has an accident in the pool, they announce “Code Brown” over the PA system to alert employees to clear the pool and call the janitor.
Can’t help but be reminded of the classic scene in Caddyshack.
ALGORITHMIC DISAMBIGUATION
This 10-syllable mouthful arrived in an AI scam solicitation email. I can only guess the prompt was: combine two words into a phrase that sounds impressive but means nothing.
Actually, it does mean something: We want your money.
YOU CANNOT TEACH A PIG TO SING. IT WASTES YOUR TIME AND JUST ANNOYS THE PIG.
This quote appears on a Murphy’s Law poster (poster copyright 1981) that has hung in our entryway for decades. The saying has been attributed to Mark Twain, Paul Dixon, and other sources. However, according to QuoteInvestigator.com, it came from Robert Heinlein’s 1973 novel Time Enough for Love.
But its roots go even farther back in history.
An ancient Greek proverb has a similar theme:
“He ploughs the air;
He is making clothes for fishes;
He is teaching an old woman to dance; He is teaching a pig to play on a flute;
He catches the wind with a net;”
Circa 1860s, a variation shows up in a comical Irish ballad:
“You may catch old birds with chaff.
Says the Shan van Vocht,
You may coax a cow to laugh,
Says the Shan van Vocht, You may teach a pig to sing, To dance a “Hieland fling.” Or whistle any thing.
Says the Shan van Vocht.”
All boil down to the same meaning: Don’t waste your time on foolish, pointless, useless endeavors.
Isn’t that what administrivia does???
THAT DOG WON’T HUNT
An idea or plan that can’t work.
ALL HAT, NO CATTLE
Lots of hot air and no action to back it up. A close corollary is: ALL MOUTH AND NO TROUSERS
THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM
A big problem no one wants to face or discuss.
An early use of the phrase occurred in a 1959 NY Times article that stated: “Financing schools has become a problem about equal to having an elephant in the living room. It’s so big you just can’t ignore it.”
However, that doesn’t mean people won’t continue to try.
Photo credit: FilmReference.com
In 1935, the great comedian Jimmy Durante appeared on Broadway in Billy Rose’s stage production of Jumbo. In the show, Jimmy is a down-on-his-luck circus owner trying to escape bad debts by sneaking out of town with his prize attraction, Jumbo the Elephant. As he leads Jumbo across the stage, a police officer stops him and asks: “What are you doing with that elephant?”
Durante tries to hide Jumbo behind him and responds: “What elephant?”
TKZers: Do you have a favorite expression, phrase, or funny word you like? Please share in the comments.
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Merriam-Webster defines DEEPFAKE as: “a digital image, video, voice, etc. that has been convincingly generated or altered to misrepresent someone as doing or saying something that was not actually done or said.”
What if millions of people watched video of you committing a crime? Except you’re innocent. How can you prove it when cops are ready to shoot first and ask questions later?
Deep Fake Double Down was BookLife’s 2023 best mystery/thriller and Silver Falchion finalist. Buy at this link.
Who is your favorite pet, either currently or in your past life?
Notice I said, “Who”.
Because pets usually aren’t a what, but a who. For instance, nobody ever says when speaking about their dog or cat or parakeet, “It’s hungry…”. We say he or she is hungry.
Okay, got that out of the way.
Kimber & Bone
My favorite pet is usually our current one, whom today would be Kimber, a part German Shepherd/part Malinois/all adrenaline mix with personality plus. In this picture, she’s daring me to try to take her bone. I am not such a fool.
But there’s another pet who needs an introduction.
He would be a Chihuahua by the name of Pepe who allowed us to live with him when I was in grade-to-middle school. He had a friend up the street, a big spaniel of some kind named George.
George would walk down the sidewalk of a morning, stop in front of our house where Pepe was usually stretched out on the front step waiting for him. They’d take a leisurely stroll together down the street about 4-5 houses and then turn around and stroll back. Pepe would lay himself back down on the porch and George would continue on to his own porch.
Every morning. Great memory, wouldn’t you say?
Another Pepe story was the time when we couldn’t find him. Until I checked my bottom dresser drawer and found him nestled up in my T-shirts sound asleep. 🙂
Okay…TKZers…your turn. Tell us about your favorite pet. What would life be without them?
Place is character. And all writing is regional. — John Dufresne.
By PJ Parrish
When you read this, I will be somewhere in northern Italy. I might be in the woods following a truffle-sniffing dog. I might be sipping an aperol spritz overlooking Lake Como. I might be on a train heading toward Switzerland.
Ha. Got your attention? Sorry, I am not taking up your valuable time bragging here. Just a note that I am lucky to be on vacation this week, so forgive me if I can’t answer your comments. Wifi is spotty up here. (First world problems)
But this vacation gives me a great opportunity to nag you about paying attention to SETTING in your novels. Whenever I travel outside my small Tallahasse-Michigan world, I become ever more acutely aware of how much setting can add to a story.
And it really hits home because I always insist on taking the right book-companion with me when I travel.
A long time ago, when I was in my twenties, I was invited to a friend’s home on Abaco Island in the Bahamas. Haunting his bookshelves I happened upon James Clavell’s Shogun. Now there was not a lot to do on Abaco back then, so I spent most my days out on the deck reading. What a captivating book! I was transported to medievel Japan, imaging serene Japanese coves where tiny islets floated out in the sea like somnulent turtles. (The photo below is very close to my view back then)
This is a vivid memory: I was on the deck around dawn, deep into the novel. I wasn’t in Abaco. I was in Anjrio. At that moment, a tiny bird swooped down and landed at my side. It hopped up on my finger, looked at me, and was gone. My host later told me it was a rare Bahamian Nuthatch.
During Covid, when we couldn’t venture beyond our driveways, novels satisfied my deep wanderlust, taking me to far away places with strange sounding names. Nina George took me to favorite old haunts and beyond in The Little Paris Bookshop. Georges Simenon took me to a Normandy fishing village in Maigret et la Vielle Dame. Stuart Neville took me to northern Ireland in The Ghosts of Belfast.
I think sense of place is often neglected by writers who are just finding their feet. Maybe they believe that like description, it slogs down the plot. I believe, however, that if you don’t ground your reader in a sense of place, the characters never truly come alive.
I was lucky to share a Miami Book Fair panel once with John Dufresne. He spoke passionately about how important setting is. From his non-fiction book The Lie That Tells The Truth:
Place connects characters to a collective and personal past, and so place is the emotional center of story. And by place, I don’t simply mean location. A location is a dot on the map, a set of coordinates. Place is location with narrative, with memory and imagination, with history. We transform a location into a place by telling its stories.
No place, no plot, nowhere man.
For our stand-alone A Killing Song, Paris was the macro-location. The mini-location was the creepy network of catacombs beneath the city. We also took our readers to the Arab enclave called La Goutte d’Or, the strange park Buttes-Chamont, a dive bar tucked behind the Pantheon called El Melocoton.
We didn’t take our readers to the Eiffel Tower, the Tuileries gardens, or Cafe Deux Magots. Why? Here is the best piece of advice I can give you regarding creating a sense of place: Never settle for the obvious. Steer clear of all clichés. The more well-known and iconic your setting is, the harder you have to work to find within it the telling details that make it come alive in your reader’s imagination. Make your setting FRESH.
Writing about New York City? Take me places I haven’t seen in TV. Writing about Hong Kong? Give me the smells and sounds that movies cannot. Miami? Stay away from South Beach and Little Havana. San Francisco? No Wharf, Alcatraz, cable cars and go light on the fog. Stay away from tired place memes that are over-used so much they lose all emotional impact.
Write what you know. This does not mean you have to visit all your locales. It helps. Boy, does it help. I’ve got a very good working knowledge of Paris but I had never been to La Goutte D’Or. I traveled every inch of its streets via Google Street View. But you can create a great location if you do your research on the people, language and culture. Remember: What may be colorful and exotic to you as a writer is just normal life to the people who live there.
Compare and contrast. If your character is a stranger in strange land, use his experiences and memories of his normal world and contrast it with what he is observing. I did this often in The Killing Song with protag Matt, a Floridian who had never been abroad. I tried to use his naivete, frustration, and fears to invoke the same feelings for readers.
What is the scene about? You need to pin this down before you begin piling in details of location. Don’t just say to yourself: I’m going to set a scene at Muir Woods because I was there once and the old trees were cool. Figure out what needs to happen to your character FIRST and then make the setting enhance the plot and the mood. Watch the great scene in Vertigo where Kim Novak wanders among the ancient Muir Woods trees, saying she’s thinking about “All the people who have lived and died while the trees went on living.” The haunting setting reflects her confused mood.
Okay. Questo è abbastanza! That’s all from me today. I am going back to my vacation, my limoncello sprtiz and my book companion: Adriana Trigiani’s The View From Lake Como. It starts out in blue-colar Lake Como, New Jersey and ends up in blue-lagooned Lake Como Italy. I’ll let you know how it ends.
Asterisk: My headline today is from John Dufresne’s book. It was too good not to steal.
It’s somebody’s birthday, or the date of another’s death, or perhaps a graduation day. Each day’s uniqueness is proven by the fact that it will never come again. Today, Reader Friday, 9/4/2026 is no different. This is the first day of its appearance…and also the last day the sun will shine on it or the moon will rise over it.
You can click on it and find scads of interesting happenings through the ages on this day.
Like this one: In 1609 Henry Hudson, a famous explorer we studied in school (not sure if kiddos today learn about him, though…) discovered the island known as Manhattan. And, the rest is history!
9/4/1609 will never be repeated, thank you very much, because we certainly don’t need another Manhattan!
TKZers, if you escaped to that website, please share what caught your attention about today’s date in history.
And just for fun, who knows what this is…straight out of history?
As readers and writers, memories are important. When we read, we are often bombarded with memories from our own earthly timeline. A character being lost might dredge up that frightening memory when your child got away from you in a crowded store. Or a nasty break-up reminds you of one you went through.
The question today is this: What is your earliest memory? Pleasant or harsh or in-between, what is a memory that stands out from your youngest years?
My earliest memory is when I was five and my sister was two. She slipped on the ice outside our house and banged her head on the walkway, knocking her unconscious. My dad hurried over and picked her up. I remember her head flailing around on his shoulder as he rushed her into the house. My six-year-old brother and I both thought she was dead, and were afraid to go in. But then we heard voices, Mom, Dad, and baby sister. We inched in and were relieved to see her sitting up in Mom’s lap.
This memory is especially poignant for me because thirty years later she really did pass away—and along with the reality of her death—was infused into both of my novels in different ways. And, tomorrow is her birthday, which makes this post/memory even more precious.
Your turn! What is your earliest memory? And how have you worked it into your story?