Author Archives: Debbie Burke

About Debbie Burke

Debbie writes the Tawny Lindholm series, Montana thrillers infused with psychological suspense. Her books have won the Kindle Scout contest, the Zebulon Award, and were finalists for the Eric Hoffer Book Award and BestThrillers.com. Her articles received journalism awards in international publications. She is a founding member of Authors of the Flathead and helps to plan the annual Flathead River Writers Conference in Kalispell, Montana. Her greatest joy is mentoring young writers. http://www.debbieburkewriter.com

New AI Survey Results from Draft2Digital

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Almost 20 years ago, a giant communications company decided to outsource their phone customer service to other countries. I learned about this from a friend who worked there. The company announced massive layoffs of employees because overseas labor costs were cheaper than using American workers.

Then, to add insult to injury, those employees whose jobs were being eliminated were required to train their replacements.

Not surprisingly, outsourcing didn’t work out too well. There was massive consumer backlash because neither the customers nor the new workers could understand each other on the phone. But the damage had been done. Thousands of American workers lost their jobs and the company’s reputation took a big hit that it never recovered from.

That kind of parallels today’s situation with writers and AI. Our work is being scraped from illegal pirate sites and used to “train” AI to replace us.

Some people joke that AI (artificial intelligence) is “artificial insemination.” Writers are being screwed without receiving any enjoyment. They didn’t even buy us dinner first.

The Authors Guild (AG) has been on the forefront to try to protect writers from unauthorized use of copyrighted works to train AI. In July, 2023, they sent an open letter to the CEOs of AI giants including Open AI, Meta, Microsoft, IBM, and others with a petition signed by 15,000 authors. AG also testified before the senate, decrying pirate sites that are used by tech companies to “train” AI models.

The genie is out of the bottle. AI is here to stay. The question now is: can the genie be forced to compensate writers for their words?

Here’s an excerpt from the Authors Guild statement on AI:

“The Authors Guild believes that the right to license a work for AI training belongs to the author of the work unless the rights are expressly granted in an agreement.”

A bill called “The Generative AI Copyright Disclosure Act of 2024” is under consideration by the House of Representatives. This only requires disclosure by anyone who uses copyrighted work to train AI. It does not address fair compensation for that use.

Recently Draft2Digital (D2D) did a survey among authors, publishers, and others to determine how they felt about the use of AI and what authors would consider fair compensation for use of their work. D2D CEO Kris Austin kindly gave permission to quote from the survey results (full results at this link).

Here are some highlights:

1. “Why do authors oppose AI training?” 

AI companies are unethical/untrustworthy – 25%
Harms creatives & people – 25%
Ethical Objections to AI – 19%
Other Reasons – 14%
I worked hard for my work and it’s mine – 10%
AI has no place in creative work – 8%”

2. “Do authors consider current scraping methods fair use?”

It’s not fair use – 49%

Ethically questionable – 42%

Fair use – 5%

No opinion – 3%

3. “Do authors know that AI companies might be willing to pay for training data?”

Unaware – 57%

Aware – 38%

Unsure – 5%

4. “Are authors interested in the opportunity to sell their AI training rights?”

Yes – 31%

No – 25%

Maybe – 45%

5. “Does it matter to authors how the end product LLM (large language model) will be used?”

Yes, it matters. – 76 %

Not as long as I am compensated – 22%

No opinion – 2%

The next two questions concern whether authors would consider having their work used for non-competitive markets (places that would not affect the author’s income) and competitive markets (e.g. an AI-written mystery could sell on Amazon right next to your book but at a much lower price).

6. “If the use case is non-competitive, will authors consider selling their AI training rights?”

No Amount of money will ever be enough – 49.5%
Open to non-competitive opportunities – 50.5%
Would accept less than $100 per book – 11.1%
Only if $100 or more per book – 39.3%
Only if more than $5,000 per book – 14.1%”

7. “If the use case is competitive, will authors consider selling their AI training rights?”

No amount of money will ever be enough – 62.8%
Open to competitive opportunities – 37.2%
Would accept less than $100 a book – 6.3%
Only if $100 or more per book – 30.9%
Only if more than $5,000 per book – 15.8%

Here’s a summary of D2D’s position:

D2D’S STANCE
Until we see significant reforms, especially around greater contractual protections and transparency governing use, intellectual property protections, and rights restrictions, Draft2Digital will not offer AI rights licensing opportunities.

·       It’s a positive development that AI developers are seeking to pay for licenses

·       Better protections are needed before D2D or its publishers can entertain such licenses

·       AI training rights are an exclusive, valuable subsidiary right under the sole control of the author or publisher

·       The rights-holder deserves full control over decisions related to if, when, and how their books are used or licensed for AI training purposes.

·       Authors and publishers should refuse AI rights licensing contracts that are opaque, or that provide inadequate protections for author concerns

·       AI developers must stop training upon books obtained without the rights-holder’s permission; otherwise, they will face continued reputational harm in the eyes of their customers and the creative community

·       LLMs previously trained upon unlicensed content, and the applications built upon them, should either negotiate retroactive licensing settlements with rights holders, or scrap their LLMs and rebuild them from scratch by training upon licensed content only”

“At this time, Draft2Digital will not offer AI rights licensing opportunities.”

I believe most authors agree that compensation should be paid and payment should be retroactive to include past unauthorized use.

The devil is in the details.

·       How to implement systems that detect/determine use of copyrighted material?

·       How to enforce fair use?

·       How much are authors paid?

·       What if an author doesn’t want their work used for AI training  under any circumstances?

The communications company my friend worked for treated their employees shabbily but at least they told workers in advance that they had to train their replacements.

Authors and publishers were never told in advance. Tech giants simply started using creative works without permission nor compensation to the creators. AI-written works currently flood the marketplace that was already crowded. Our incomes suffer.

We study, rewrite, and work hard to create meaningful content and deserve fair compensation.

Those devilish details will be fought out in courts for years to come.

~~~

TKZers, how do you feel about AI’s use of your creative work to train LLMs?

Please share your answers to any or all of the questions.

~~~

Cover by Brian Hoffman

 

 

Debbie Burke writes her thrillers without AI.

Fruit of the Poisonous Tree is now available for preorder at this link.

 

First Page Critique – Untitled Comedic Crime/Black Comedy

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by Debbie Burke

burke_writer

Please welcome a Brave Author (BA) from South Africa who submitted a first page described as “Comedic Crime/Black Comedy.” Read and enjoy then we’ll discuss.

~~~

It was an icy Monday, the day they came for him.

I’d crunched across the frost that covered the office courtyard.

I’d been reconciling the company bank statement when I felt, more than heard, a silence fall over the open plan office. Two men stood in the doorway. Plain clothes. But they had that look about them. They wore ties and reeked of government.

Millie, in reception, gestured towards the glassed-in cubicle at the end from which Primo conducted the affairs of the firm.

The men nodded as they passed our desks. Primo pushed his chair back and stood, arm stretched, hand open to greet them. A broad smile fixed on his florid face.

Was I wrong about the men?

They shut the door. I glanced around at my colleagues. Everyone was watching. Some gawked unabashed, others peered surreptitiously over the top of their PC’s. We couldn’t hear the words, but we could witness the gestures, expressions, and movements. I bet Primo regretted all the glass now. His motive was to keep an eye on us, but now we had prime seats for a mime spectacle.

Primo tapped the pack of Peter Stuyvesants on his desk, plucked out a cigarette and lit it. He took a deep drag, then with an arrogant tilt of his head, blew smoke rings to the ceiling. He waved at the two chairs, but the men kept standing. The older man spoke.

I imagined he was inwardly chanting, deny, deny, deny.

Finally, the smile slid off his face, and he slumped into his chair.

It didn’t take long.

One gent unplugged the computer and tucked the chassis under his arm with ease. The other helped Primo out of the chair.

Primo’s eyes found mine with an unblinking stare. A vein throbbed at my temple. I was a rabbit caught in the headlights. The tax tip-off line’s anonymous, but he knew. I was the only one who could know. The bookkeeper knows everything.

He walked through the office, shoulders squared, but he was stiff and lurching. He could feign innocence, but the evidence I provided was irrefutable. I looked away, but lifted my gaze to watch his retreating shape. His stink of cigarettes was now laced with the sour smell of fear.

He faltered, then looked back at me, and with an intense fevered stare, he dragged his finger across his throat in a slitting gesture.

~~~

Okay, let’s dig in. I found a lot to like about this first page. The opening sentence sets the time of year without over-describing the weather. The tone is foreboding.

By the second and third paragraphs, the first-person narrator is established as a bookkeeper for a company under investigation by government officials.

“I felt, more than heard, a silence fall over the open plan office.” That’s a fresh way to describe the auditors’ arrival, showing the palpable effect on all employees who immediately know something is very wrong. This also establishes the physical setting in a few words. Well done!

“They wore ties and reeked of government.” Another quick, efficient description.

“…the glassed-in cubicle at the end from which Primo conducted the affairs of the firm.” The honcho is quickly revealed as the probable antagonist to the “I” character.

Peter Stuyvescent cigarettes and blowing smoke rings at the ceiling are great specific details that show Primo’s arrogance. You don’t need to also tell the reader. I suggest deleting the adjective “arrogant.”

“I bet Primo regretted all the glass now. His motive was to keep an eye on us, but now we had prime seats for a mime spectacle.” This observation by the protagonist further characterizes Primo, shows the resentment of the workers, plus raises suspense. What spectacle is unfolding? The reader is pulled in by curiosity and tension.

As Primo is being escorted out, he looks at the protagonist.

“A vein throbbed at my temple. I was a rabbit caught in the headlights…I was the only one who could know. The bookkeeper knows everything.” Skillful, economical summation of the protagonist’s role in the story problem.

Up until now, the reader knows very little about the “I” character, including the gender.

First person narrators need to slip in the character’s name, gender, age, and other pertinent details. That’s challenging to do in a way that sounds natural and doesn’t stop the story flow. BA’s voice is adept enough that I’m willing to wait a bit to learn that info.

For now, the emphasis is his/her worry. “I” blew the whistle on Primo’s misdeeds. “I” can’t maintain eye contact with Primo out of fear and/or shame. The throat-slitting gesture sends a clear threat of retribution, raising the anticipation and stakes. Primo will be back to take his revenge and “I” is scared but also feels satisfaction.

“His stink of cigarettes was now laced with the sour smell of fear.” Good sensory detail that reinforces the mood.

BA has an economical yet vivid way of setting up the location, problem, conflict, stakes, as well as introducing the protagonist and antagonist. The characterizations are well drawn with specific details and gestures that reveal far more depth than a bland driver’s license description of height, weight, hair color, etc.

My suggestions are small tweaks.

One typo: PC’s should be PCs w/o an apostrophe. S indicates plural, ‘s indicates possessive.

Suggested edit: It was an icy Monday, the day they came for Primo. Use his name rather than the vague pronoun “him.”

Original:

I’d crunched across the frost that covered the office courtyard.

I’d been reconciling the company bank statement when I felt, more than heard, a silence fall over the open plan office.

Two sentences in a row that begin with “I’d” is weak. Plus there’s a minor bump in the transition between the courtyard and office. Maybe combine the sentences.

Suggested edit: “I’d crunched across the frost that covered the courtyard, settled into my cubicle, and was reconciling the company bank statement when I felt, more than heard, a silence fall over the open plan office.”

Delete “But they had that look about them.”   You show that look so you don’t need to tell it also.

Suggested edit: “Two men stood in the doorway. Plain clothes. They wore ties and reeked of government.”

Original: Was I wrong about the men?

Suggested edit: Unless this question has meaning later, I suggest you delete it b/c the narrator clearly is right about the men’s purpose. 

Original: I imagined he was inwardly chanting, deny, deny, deny.

Suggested edit: I imagined Primo was inwardly chanting, deny, deny, deny.

Original: I was a rabbit caught in the headlights.

Although it wouldn’t stop me from reading, rabbit (or deer) caught in the headlights is a bit cliched. You can find a better line.

Original: “The tax tip-off line’s anonymous, but he knew.”

Suggested edit: “The tax tip-off line is anonymous” rather than “line’s”. When I first read it, I thought it was possessive rather than a contraction.

The genre is described as “comedic crime/black comedy.” This page had a foreboding tone, but I didn’t pick up on “comedic.” With the Brave Author’s skill, I expect that will be introduced soon.

Congratulations on a compelling first page that checks off many important boxes: a story problem, interesting characters in opposition, a life-altering disturbance, tension, high stakes, and a promise of more complications.

Brave Author, thanks for the chance to read this and best wishes for publication.

~~~

TKZers: What are your impressions of this first page? Would you turn the page? Any ideas or suggestions for the Brave Author?

Making Your Author Website Friendlier

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Photo credit: mariakray at Pixabay

by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer 

An author’s website is their billboard to the world. This is the one-stop site where readers, potential readers, editors, agents, and others go to learn about the author and their writing.

Social media sites owned by others can ebb, flow, and sometimes disappear altogether (remember My Space?). Or they can suspend or ban your account.

Your website is your one constant showcase as an author.

That’s why it’s important to make it as welcoming, friendly, and accessible to the broadest number of visitors.

And that includes those with disabilities.

Recently on the Author’s Guild discussion thread, the topic of ADA-accessible websites came up. Rumors had started on social media that authors could be fined if their sites weren’t accessible per standards set by the Americans with Disabilities (ADA) act.

Apparently, the source behind those rumors were individuals and possibly law firms threatening suits against authors.

As far as I can tell from my research, there is no current law requiring author websites to be ADA compliant.

The ADA does require websites and mobile apps for federal, state, and local governmental bodies to be ADA compliant.

We’re all aware of the necessity for businesses and buildings that are open to the public to meet ADA requirements, such as barrier free entrances, ramps, restroom facilities, etc. Also new construction must meet ADA standards for physical accessibility with hallways wide enough for wheelchairs, etc.

But until recently I hadn’t given much thought to online accessibility.

With increasing use of websites and apps to do everyday tasks like making travel reservations, ordering merchandise and services, applying for employment, bill paying, banking, etc., consumers need to be able to actually use those online services to take care of the business of living.

What if you have low vision or are color blind? What if you can’t read the text onscreen because of poor contrast or small fonts? What if you can’t see the color images onscreen that instruct you to click here?

Despite recent successful cataract surgery, my close vision is not good even with reading glasses. I’m frustrated with online sources that feature elaborate but undecipherable fonts. Often they feature tiny text. Worse is low contrast text on a background that’s a similar color (light gray text on dark gray background). Moving icons or videos that flash past, or other quirks can make content hard to read.

I just ran across an appealing website about wine with many gorgeous professional photos. The background image is a beautiful bunch of grapes. But…the text is 6 point font in white. Small, low contrast text combined with a busy background made it challenging to read. This otherwise stunning site was a disappointment.

If I visit an author’s site and it’s difficult to navigate, I really don’t care how cool it looks. I close the window.

When authors update their websites or create new newsletters, it’s good to be mindful of various disabilities. Here’s an article from ADA.gov with potential problems to look for and suggestions for easier accessibility. Levelaccess.com offers a free color checker test.

Website builders like WordPress offer many different themes. Maybe changing the theme can make your site more welcoming. If you publish a newsletter, review sample templates to find the most attractive and readable options for fonts, background colors, and images.

Because I’m not techie, the goal of my website has always been to make it as friendly and easy to use as possible for fellow troglodytes. I use large, easily readable fonts and bold typefaces.

While I believe the concern over possible fines or lawsuits is overblown, I also don’t want my website to turn off visitors because of issues that make it difficult for those with disabilities.

When I make future updates (or have my web guy make changes), I’ll be more conscious of potential barriers to readers.

As authors, we strive to make it as easy as possible for readers to engage with us and read our work. That starts with a website that friendly to all users regardless of ability. 

~~~

TKZers: Do you have pet peeves that turn you off about a website?

Please share suggestions of how authors can make their websites friendlier.

Have a favorite site? Include a link in the comments.

~~~

Grab Instrument of the Devil, the first book in the Tawny Lindholm Thriller series, for FREE. Offer ends soon.

True Crime Thursday – Ponzi Scheme Built on a Mountain of (ahem) Manure

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Investors in Ray Brewer’s start-up company thought their money was being used to build anaerobic digesters in California and Idaho.

What is an anaerobic digester? A system that processes cow manure, breaking it down into methane gas, liquid fertilizer, and other byproducts, all of which are salable.

Methane gas can be sold as renewable energy, generating green energy tax credits. The byproducts of fertilizer and compostable materials can also be sold.

Sounds like a great solution, doesn’t it? Converting waste to an energy source and generating potential profits for investors in companies that sell the byproducts.

According to the Justice Department, starting in 2014, Brewer promoted his start-up company with ads in dairy industry publications and at renewable energy conferences. That resulted in nearly $9 million being raised.

Early investors received “profits,” except the profits were actually funds from new investors—the classic Ponzi scheme.

A November 2023 news release from the FBI says:

“Brewer also took investors on tours of dairies where he claimed he would build the digesters. And while Brewer had legitimate lease agreements with some dairies, other agreements were completely made-up.”

He further falsified documents claiming a bank had committed to lending $100 million to build the digesters. He generated bogus construction progress reports and forged a contract supposedly from a multinational corporation to buy methane and byproducts.

The digesters never existed. The entire scheme just so much hot gas.

Meanwhile, Brewer had moved investors’ money to multiple bank accounts in others’ names and used it to purchase property and expensive vehicles.

Eventually investors smelled something that could have been produced by the anaerobic digesters, if only they existed. When a civil suit was filed against Brewer, he moved to Montana and changed his identity. He also shifted money and assets into his wife’s name.

Photo credit: Hans at Pixabay

In Montana, where cows outnumber people, he attempted a similar Ponzi scheme, spreading more manure.

In 2019, the FBI and IRS opened investigations into Brewer’s operations. In 2020, he was arrested in Sheridan County, Montana but denied his true identity, saying they had the wrong man. Then he spun a tale, claiming to be a Navy veteran who’d saved the lives of soldiers during a fire.

That story turned out to be a big bubble of methane gas, too.

Per the FBI:

“Brewer ultimately pleaded guilty to wire fraud, money laundering, and identity theft charges. In June 2023, he was sentenced to six years and nine months in prison for his crimes, and ordered to pay $8.75 million in restitution to the investors who fell victim.”

Photo credit: annigje at Pixabay

Suggestion to the parole board: How about two years of supervised release mucking out dairy barns?

~~~

Go for it, TKZers! Looking forward to your creative comments!

~~~

 

For a limited time, Instrument of the Devil, the first book in Debbie Burke’s award-winning thriller series, is FREE.

No BS.

 

Lost (and Found) in Translation?

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

A Japanese-born friend recently gave me a new challenge that pushed me to closely examine how to use words, language, nuance, and idioms.

Yoshimi Yamamoto-Derks had been asked by her former teacher to translate his writings from Japanese to English. He is a Nature Essence producer and the subject was essences, described on this website. His series of short essays was a combination of poetry and philosophy meant to expand one’s thinking and emotions in more positive directions assisted by the use of various essences.

Yoshimi Yamamoto-Derks

Yoshimi also works with flower essences, as described on her website Inspired Energy Healing. In this photo, she demonstrated her techniques to me in the middle of a canola field in full bloom.

Yoshimi Yamamoto-Derks and Debbie Burke

When we initially talked about her translating job Yoshimi explained some concepts were already difficult to comprehend even in her native tongue. She asked me, “If Japanese people have a hard time understanding, how can people who speak English understand?”

Simply plugging Japanese characters into Google Translate to change the words to English wouldn’t work.  A simple translation like “Where is the restroom?” is concrete and straightforward. But philosophical and emotional concepts are intangible and difficult to verbalize.

Yoshimi’s comprehension of English is excellent, especially in subtle differences of tone and nuance. But she was struggling with effective ways to express her teacher’s poetic writings. After she translated his essays from Japanese to English, she asked me to review the English version for comprehension and readability.

She sent a four-page Word doc which I red-penned, rearranging sentences for clarity and flow, deleting or changing a few words. But I still had a number of questions, so we met in person to discuss them.The screen shot below is blurry but shows the many strikethroughs, as we reworked the descriptions.

Each essence has a name that describes its purpose. For instance, the essence “Mercury 360 Degrees” improves communication. “360 degrees” refers to the ability to look in every direction for understanding.

Yoshimi’s initial translation read: “As if today were the very first day it was born, communication between people and between beings flows directly.”

The subject of the sentence needed to be more specific than “it.” We decided it meant communication and the writer was describing how communication begins. After rearranging the word order, we came up with: “If today were the first day of birth, communication flows directly between people and between beings.”

The next paragraph was more difficult: “Be free from any influences and transcend the filters of the world I create, and just to listen from anyone, and to create relationships in a new paradigm beyond illusion.”

We split those thoughts into two sentences and used parallel construction to make them easier to understand.

“Transcend the filters of the world I create to be free from any influences. Listen to everyone and create relationships in a new paradigm beyond illusion.”

 

Another essence name was “Respectful Concession.”

Original version: “Not to forget respect equally to everyone who you encounter and see.”

That one was easy: “Remember to equally respect everyone you encounter.”

 

Flame Sword essence said: “I cannot stay as I am. I would like to accomplish myself.”

Hmm. How does one accomplish oneself? In Japanese, the phrase works. But in English, the verb accomplish acts on the object myself, which doesn’t make grammatical sense.

Revision: “I cannot stay as I am. Without accomplishment, I cannot complete myself.”

The description goes on: “Burning away everything that appears in my path without hesitation, an unstoppable flame of complete accomplishment.”

After reworking: “An unstoppable flame of accomplishment burns everything in my path without hesitation.”

 

The next section titled “Retraction” was particularly tough:

“I have been bound by what I said and swore previously, remove the wedge from the ‘castle in the sand’ that I have built upon it.

Retract all what I said and swore that had created my world, and return to ‘myself’ that it is possibility itself.”

A comma splice in the first sentence joined two distinct thoughts that didn’t link to each other.

The first was how past statements restrict present thoughts and ideas. Okay, that’s easy enough.

But the “wedge” and “the castle in the sand that I have built upon it” stumped us. What did wedge mean? Driving a wedge into sand didn’t make sense because as soon as the wedge is removed, sand immediately fills the empty space. A castle built on sand indicates a lack of strong structure to support it. Was the wedge meant to represent a metaphorical Jenga game? Could a wedge be removed without the whole sandcastle falling down?

Yoshimi texted the writer in Japan, which is 15 hours ahead of our location in Montana, and asked him what he meant. A short time later, he texted back a photo of the interior wood framing of a building. An arrow pointed at the wedge, which is evidently Japanese construction jargon for a support piece that holds framing together.

He also included an example sentence: The business plan was built like a castle upon sand.

Okay, that matched our initial impression of a flimsy, unstable foundation. Once we removed the troublesome word “wedge” from the concept, it made much more sense in English.

Revision: “I have been bound by what I said and swore previously. I built a world out of illusions and now I must repeal those illusions to return to the possibility of myself.”

We also changed the section name from “Retraction” to “Repeal.”

 

Blue Dragon Eyes essence helps to:

“Discern what is not me and cut away and purge unnecessary energy.”

Because energy is generally perceived as a positive quality, the adjective unnecessary gave the wrong connotation. We consulted the online Thesaurus for better descriptors. We found superfluous, excessive, needless, exorbitant, etc. None sounded right.

I mentioned the English idiom of “spinning one’s wheels.” That means expending energy uselessly while accomplishing nothing. Yoshimi agreed that was the correct concept. We kept digging deeper in the Thesaurus. Unproductive, pointless, wasted, unprofitable. We finally settled on two possibilities: Unproductive or fruitless (which was more in keeping with the poetic style).

Yoshimi’s final revision: “Discern what is not me. Cut away and purge unproductive energy.”

 

The last example turned out to be funny.

Essence name: “Start to Create the New World.”

“You pen visions you truly desire.”

To me, you pen visions means that you write down your deepest wishes to help make them come true. I explained that pen can be used as a verb in a poetic, somewhat archaic way to say write. For about 10 minutes, we talked about how to preserve the poetry in the writer’s thoughts yet still be clear to the reader.

Then Yoshimi reread the sentence again. “Oh!” she said. “That’s a typo. Pen should read Open.” We had a good laugh over how one small typo can inadvertently take on significance that was never meant.

After more than two hours, we had taxed our brains to the max.

As TKZers are aware, expressing yourself in your native language is challenging enough. Trying to understand and accurately interpret idioms, jargon, shades of meaning, nuances, and connotations is difficult. Converting them to a different language requires a whole ‘nother level of concentration and contemplation.

Even one word can change the meaning of a sentence. “Purge unnecessary energy” is quite different from “Purge unproductive energy.”

This exercise taught me insights into divergent thought patterns and styles of expression. Explaining the subtle underlying meanings of words and ideas forced to me sharpen my own verbal skills to make my explanations clear, accurate, and understandable.

Years ago, I worked at a business with mostly Spanish-speaking employees. One day, a young man named Ricardo was trying to describe how angry the business owner had been with an especially troublesome customer. Ricardo said, “The boss look like he was going to eat him.” You couldn’t say it more clearly and vividly than that!

One final essence is called “Repose in Dream.”

After our brain workout, Yoshimi and I both reposed well in dreams that night.

~~~

TKZers: If you speak another language, what concepts, words, or jargon do you find difficult to express?

Please share your favorite idioms.

~~~

Limited time Summer Special! Try Instrument of the Devil, the first book in the Tawny Lindholm Thriller series for FREE! If you like it, binge on more fast-moving adventures featuring the spirited, intrepid investigator. 

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Coming soon! Fruit of the Poisonous Tree, Tawny Lindholm Thriller #9

Cover by Brian Hoffman

Deadlines Can Be Deadly

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Vilde Odmundson, designer., CC BY-SA 4.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

Deadline. The very word strikes fear. It promises dire consequences if it’s missed. If your work isn’t finished by the boss’s deadline, you’re fired. If your past due payments aren’t received by the deadline, the bank repossesses your car. If you ignore the IRS tax deadline, your life becomes a living hell.

What are the origins of the dreaded word deadline?

According to WarHistoryOnline.com:

The earliest known uses date back to the 1800s, where the Oxford English Dictionary discovered the usage of “dead-line” in reference to a fishing line with a weight on it to prevent it from moving. In the early 1900s, the word was used in the printing industry as the name of a boundary line on a printing press, beyond which text will not print.

 

The most gruesome use of the term apparently originated at the notorious Andersonville POW camp during the Civil War.

[Camp commandant Captain Henry] Wirz added the so-called “deadline.” This was a literal line of wooden planks or fences placed about 20 feet inside from the outer walls. Orders were given to the guards that any man who crossed the deadline, even by a hair, would be shot on sight without warning.

If a writer misses a deadline, the editor/publisher can’t shoot you, but your career may be dead. They will remember your name, and not in a good way.

Deadlines are important. My professional writing career launched because a friend couldn’t make her deadline and recommended me as a substitute to the editor. That began a long, fruitful relationship with a respected magazine.

Waking up in the middle of the night, realizing my TKZ post is due that morning, is a horrible feeling I don’t want to repeat. I’m compulsive about deadlines (some say anal) and usually turn in stories ahead of time.

That early-bird mentality means editors sometimes call and say: “Hey, I need 750 words by Thursday. Can you do it?”

Yup. Those rush jobs are paychecks that I otherwise wouldn’t have received.

External deadlines are powerful motivators, especially for newer writers. They build discipline and accountability. I need to write 10 pages for critique group on Tuesday. I have to finish that short story/poem/play to meet the contest deadline next week.

Writers who self-publish often struggle because they don’t have that external deadline. When we impose a deadline on ourselves, we can come up with a gazillion reasons to put it off. But are those reasons or excuses?

Side note: A recent hot topic on the Authors Guild discussion thread has been about launching a book around election time. Some authors are asking their publishers to delay their release dates until after November, fearing their books will get lost in political furor. Books already have a tough enough time attracting reader and media attention. This reason may be worth considering if you plan a book launch in the next few months. 

Since going indie, my goal has been to publish at least one book per year, and I’ve met that with eight books since 2017.

But…more than a year has passed since April 2023 when the last book, Deep Fake Double Down, was released.

Cover by Brian Hoffman

The ninth book, Fruit of the Poisonous Tree, has not met my self-imposed deadline.

Readers keep asking when the new book is coming out. That’s a wonderful problem to have! But I don’t like my vague answers.

In the spring I said, “Summer.”

Then I updated to “Labor Day” because that marks an annual event with other Montana authors, described in posts here and here.

In early July, I looked at the calendar and realized how quickly September 1 was coming up.

I still had to finish the book, edit, get feedback from beta readers, make corrections, format, upload, receive and review a proof. Printing books takes four to six weeks, if there aren’t delays. All that had to be done by Labor Day. Aargh!

I raced through the climax and did a fast edit. I explained the urgency to beta readers and gave them a chance to say no. They are all wonderful friends, but a week turnaround is a damn big ask. Several understandably declined because of their own deadlines. The rest agreed. They came through and offered great suggestions.

But…one long-time critique partner sat me down and said, “Deb, this isn’t as good as your other books. You rushed it and it shows. You’re too good a writer to put this out for your readers. They’ll be disappointed.”

Whap! 

Other betas had alluded to some problems, but I deceived myself into thinking they were easy fixes to be whipped out in a day or two.

Nope.

My friend and I spent the next three hours at her dining room table going through the marked-up manuscript. She was 100% right–the problems went deep.

Actually, I’d sensed that all along but pushed my concerns aside because I was fixated on meeting the Labor Day deadline.

Her critique made me think. How important, really, is that deadline?

If the new book isn’t available to sell at the annual event, what are the consequences?

No one dies.

I still have eight other books on the table. If I lose a handful of sales, so what? I’ll have postcards printed of the new book cover and people can sign up for my newsletter to be notified of the pub date.

In other words, missing this deadline doesn’t matter, except to my pride.

If I make the deadline but put out a substandard book, in the long run, I’ll lose more readers than I gain.

I never want people to think, “Gee, she used to be pretty good, but she’s sure gone downhill.” 

An old saying goes: “There’s never time to do it right but there’s always time to do it over.”

Not for books. For them, a different saying applies: “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”

Deadlines teach good work habits and keep writers from procrastinating. But they can also be blinders that prevent an author from recognizing and fixing problems with their work.

Thankfully my friend yanked those blinders off and made me see what was really important.

As I work on the rewrites, I give thanks she was honest with me. 

When will Fruit of the Poisonous Tree be ready?

I dunno. A week, a month, three months? Whatever time it takes to be the best I can make it. 

The day after I resigned myself to giving up the Labor Day deadline, the other two authors emailed me about our upcoming book appearance. Construction has closed a bridge which cuts off one of only two roads into the little village of Bigfork. The other road will be occupied that weekend by a major car show. Parking is a mile-plus hike and access for those with disabilities will be next to impossible.

Due to these logistic issues, we decided to skip doing the event this year. What a relief from the frantic push I’d been making since the beginning of July!

Deadlines are great unless they force you to make a choice between speed and quality. They often give a much-needed nudge to finish. But this experience taught me to follow my instincts rather than the calendar.

~~~

TKZers: Do deadlines help your writing?

Has a deadline ever caused you to publish a story that was below your expectations? Please share your experience.

~~~

Until Fruit of the Poisonous Tree is published, the other eight books in the Tawny Lindholm Thriller series are for sale at all online booksellers.

The first book, Instrument of the Devil, will be FREE on August 2.

True Crime Thursday – Scratching One’s Way to the Top

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

 

Public Domain

Kim Lien Vu, 46, owned two nail salons in Liberty Township, OH. She reportedly “developed animosity” with a competing business, Bora Bora Nails and Spa in nearby Monroe. In December 2022, Vu and employee Cierra Marie Bishop, 30, hatched a plan to burn down the rival store.

In text messages between Vu and Bishop, Bishop described experiments with various incendiary devices.

Vu directed a third woman, Makahla Ann Rennick, 19, to make an appointment at Bora Bora under a false name.

The final device was put into a small box.

On February 5, 2023, surveillance footage shows Bishop and Rennick entering the salon. While Rennick was having a pedicure, Bishop walked around the store with a package. Near the rear restroom, Bishop placed the package behind a desk.

Meanwhile, Vu established an alibi for herself by driving to Virginia, although she remained in contact via text with Bishop while Bishop was inside the store.

Later, a Bora Bora employee smelled gasoline, spotted the package, and put it outside in the dumpster. It soon caught fire.

Public Domain

 

Yeah, a genuine dumpster fire.

This video report shows the device before and after it ignited.

The trio was arrested and indicted by a federal grand jury in February 2023. In September 2023 Vu pled guilty, admitting she “conspired to commit malicious destruction via fire.” In April 2024, US District Court sentenced her to 46 months in prison. Bishop also pled guilty and is awaiting sentencing.

Business sometimes means fighting tooth and…nail. [Ba-da-boom!]  

~~~

TKZers: Do you know business competitors that carried their rivalry to extremes?

~~~

Debbie Burke’s thriller Deep Fake Double Down is a finalist for the Silver Falchion Award..

Six Questions to Ask Beta Readers

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Cover by Brian Hoffman

Whew!

I just typed “The End” on the draft of Fruit of the Poisonous Tree, the ninth book in my Tawny Lindholm Thriller series.

But “The End” doesn’t mean THE END. Far from it.

Now the fun begins.

Print out the manuscript.

Pro Tip: print the hard copy in a different font than the one used onscreen. Errors and typos pop out more visibly.

Grab the red pen and let it bleed all over the pages. Look for inconsistencies, plot holes, chronology problems, dangling subplots, name or description changes (blue eyes to brown, blond hair to auburn), etc.

Oops. I changed one character’s name from “Fram” to “Framson” and hit “replace all.” But I forgot to put a space on either side of the name. Therefore, every time the letters “fram” appeared, it was changed to “Framson.” The same petite frame now read The same petite Framson.

Once you transfer corrections from the hard copy into the digital copy, it’s time to send to beta readers. Their fresh eyes are invaluable because the author is too close to the story and can’t judge it objectively.

How can you help beta readers help you?

  1. Choose beta readers carefully.

They don’t necessarily need to be other writers, but they do need to be avid readers. Their function is to assess your book as if they plucked it off the bookstore shelf.

Find people who read in your genre. You probably shouldn’t choose a fan of blood-and-guts action thrillers to beta read a picture book for young readers.

But don’t eliminate a possible beta simply because they don’t often read your genre. A viewpoint from a different perspective frequently gives additional dimension your story wouldn’t otherwise have.

  1. Find people you can depend on to read in a timely manner. If you have a deadline, let them know it.
  2. Find appropriate experts.

Do your books have legal, medical, law enforcement, professional, technical, and/or historical elements?

Are you writing about a society, nationality, culture, ethnicity, religion, or other group that you’re not familiar with?

If so, ask for an expert’s help to make your depictions authentic.

Experts are often busy professionals in their field and may not have time to read the entire book. You can send them select passages that you’d like them to review.

For instance, in Deep Fake Double Down, I wanted short, understandable descriptions about how to create and detect deep fakes, but not too many details to bog the story down. I sent several short excerpts to the expert (say that three times fast). He made suggestions and corrected out-of-date information. The review only took him an hour (including our phone conversation) and my story had accurate details.

  1. Ask specific questions.

Do character actions seem plausible and realistic?

Is the plot interesting? Can you follow it?

Does the writing flow smoothly?

Were you confused? Please note where.

Did you lose interest in places? Please note where.

Are there dangling threads that need to be wrapped up?

Please note anything that bothered you.

If you are concerned about particular issues, let betas know so they’re on the lookout.

5. Series writers need to consider additional factors when asking for feedback from beta readers.

Are your books a series?  Or are they serials?

Generally, a series (Sherlock Holmes, Sue Grafton’s Alphabet Series) features continuing characters in a common location, during a similar time frame, often with consistent themes. Each book stands alone with a self-contained plot arc of beginning, middle, end. A reader does not necessarily have to read the books in order.

PublishDrive.com defines serials as:

“…literary works published in sequential installments rather than as complete, standalone books. A serial is a continuing narrative that must be read in the proper sequence to understand the plot.”

Serial examples are The Hunger Games trilogy, Harry Potter (seven books), and Breaking Bad on TV.

Serials can be:

Duology (2 books)

Trilogy (3)

Tetralogy (4)

Pentalogy (5)

Hexology (6)

Heptology (7)

Octology (8)

Ennealogy (9)

Decology (10)

For this post, I only talk about series, not serials.

Generally, readers prefer to read series books in order even though that’s not necessary.

With each book, series writers need to establish the ongoing characters and their relationships to each other, the world where the story takes place, and the time frame.

My Tawny Lindholm Thriller series features investigator Tawny Lindholm and attorney Tillman Rosenbaum. All books (except one) take place in Montana. A common theme is justice will be done (although not necessarily in the courtroom!). Each is written as a standalone.

In the first book, Instrument of the Devil, Tawny is a 50-year-old recent widow who unwittingly becomes entangled in a terrorist plot to destroy the electric grid. Tillman is the attorney who keeps her from going to prison, then hires her to be his investigator.

Although their relationship arc changes and evolves through the series, the plot of each book is separate and self-contained.

For series authors, the balancing act is always how much review is needed to orient new readers vs. too much rehashing from past books that bores ongoing readers.

My regular betas know the series history. But with each new book, I seek out at least one fresh reader who hasn’t read prior books. For that person, I ask specific questions like:

Are relationships among characters clear and understandable?

Can you follow the plot easily?

When events from past books are referred to, can you still follow the current story?

Are past references confusing or unclear?

Do you want more information or clarification?

  1. What about spoiler alerts in a series? Over a number of books, continuing characters often undergo changes in marital/relationship status, children, mental or physical abilities, and even death. They can move to a different location. They shift jobs or functions.

The overall theme may even evolve. One great example is Sue Coletta’s Mayhem series. Hero Shawnee spends several books under attack from serial killer, Mr. Mayhem. Then (spoiler alert) they become unlikely allies as eco-warriors against common enemies that threaten wildlife.

Some spoilers are inevitable. The most obvious is the hero survives the life-or-death catastrophe from the prior book. Otherwise, s/he wouldn’t be around for succeeding stories.

Where does a series author draw the line about giving away secrets?

In Fruit of the Poisonous Tree, I wrangled with a difficult spoiler and even asked for advice from TKZ readers.

The surprise ending from the third book, Eyes in the Sky, comes back to haunt the ongoing characters in the ninth book. I had to weigh whether it was more important to preserve the surprise from Eyes or tell a current story built around that in Fruit. Ultimately, I gave up worrying about revealing it and wrote the new story that demanded to be told.

Fruit of the Poisonous Tree is now out to beta readers, and I’m interested in their reactions to this spoiler.

~~~

Beta readers are important friends for writers to have. To thank them, I always acknowledge them in the published book, give them a signed copy, and, if possible, take them out for lunch or dinner, or send them a small gift.

Make your beta reader’s job as easy and painless as possible. The resulting rewards are well worth it!

~~~

TKZers: Have you used beta readers? Any ideas for other questions to ask them?

Have you been a beta reader? Did the author include questions or concerns for you to watch for? Did that help?

~~~

Deep Fake Double Down was chosen as a Top Pick for the Silver Falchion award, sponsored by Killer Nashville, and was the Mystery Finalist for the BookLife Prize.

Available at major online booksellers.

 

Visit debbieburkewriter.com for more information and release dates for Fruit of the Poisonous Tree.

Curiosity, Creativity, and Connections

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Mark Leichliter and Debbie Burke

A few days ago, my friend and writing colleague Mark Leichliter (who also writes as “Mark Hummel“) spoke to a group at a local active senior community.

Mark is a delightful, articulate guy who writes mystery and literary fiction. He also ghostwrites and teaches creative writing, although he finds the term “creative writing” redundant because he says, “All writing is creative.”

He’s the teacher you wish you’d had or would choose to teach your kids. He treats students as individuals, listening to their needs, encouraging them to pursue their dreams. Years after they graduate, students stay in touch with him.

I learned about Mark’s appearance at the senior community a short time before and on the spur of the moment decided to attend.

I didn’t expect his talk to lead to a post for TKZ. But here it is.

First thing Mark did was to rearrange the chairs from auditorium-style seating into a circle. “I want this to be a conversation, not a lecture,” he said. “I want to learn from you in the audience.”

His premise began that curiosity and creativity are linked. Curious people are also often creative. Curiosity makes them eager to learn and they create art, music, poetry, books, buildings, automobiles, recipes, etc. from what they learn.

I mentioned creativity was also the ability to take apparently unrelated ideas and find a connection between them.

Mark laughed and said I must be his shill because the concept of connection led into his next point.

He cited a friend who’s now writing a memoir. “Al” was a former mining engineer tasked with building a gold mine in Columbia. His employer was willing to pay top wages to attract workers to an area that was otherwise desolate. Al could have simply built the mine then moved on, one and done.

Instead, he was curious about the people and surroundings. He spent weeks exploring and talking with them, and learned there was no infrastructure, no water or power. Those conditions meant that workers couldn’t bring their families with them to the new mining jobs. A lucrative paycheck was a draw, but it wasn’t enough.

Al’s creativity took over. He connected the needs of the mine with the needs of the workers and projected into the future.

A mine would do well but was a finite operation—it lasted several years then shut down. He convinced mine owners to pay workers a little less and instead to budget that money to bring in electricity and water, leading to building a town with a grocery store to provide food, a school to educate their children, and other services. Mining would “do well” but building a lasting community would “do good.”

Al is now using curiosity and creativity to connect events in his life and solve problems as he writes his memoir.

Mark then asked the group about their individual creative endeavors.

A woman related that she and her husband had traveled extensively, getting to know and live with residents of other countries. Their endless curiosity about other cultures led to broadening their knowledge and understanding, resulting in rich rewards they never could have anticipated.

Another woman said she quilted, using fabric from her grandchildren’s outgrown clothes and sports uniforms. She created quilts that reflected each child’s particular interest and favorite activities, a physical, visual canvas of the stories of their lives.

Another said she was creating an “ethical will.” Instead of leaving material possessions to her children and grandchildren, she wants to leave family memories, lessons learned, advice, etc. in written form. Her title is More Than Stuff.

Another said she’d published a family history without telling her siblings. When she eventually let them know, a sister revealed she too had published a family history without telling anyone. Not surprisingly, the stories were completely different, giving rise to disagreements: “That’s not how it happened!”

That led to group discussion of differing perceptions. The same event happens to each family member, but all have their own memory and interpretation of the incident that is often radically different from the others.

A genealogist commented that “a lot of family history is fiction,” which prompted knowing laughter in the group.

“Leaving a legacy” was the common theme among the audience.

Mark connected the legacy angle back to storytelling. Humans are curious about past events and why they happened. Storytelling is a creative way to preserve, understand, and pass down those events to educate future generations. Stories explore the reasons and causes behind life’s mysteries and strive to make sense of them. Stories also serve as vehicles to teach ways to solve problems and survive.

Mark made another point I hadn’t considered before. He said a book doesn’t fully exist without a reader. Other communication and entertainment forms like TV, films, streaming, etc. continue whether or not anyone is watching. They are one-way activities that don’t require participation.

In contrast, a book is a two-way interactive exchange. The author creates it but, until someone picks it up and starts reading, it simply sits there. It’s a repository of knowledge, waiting to interact with a person. When the connection between the author and reader is made, it opens the door to an entirely new world.

Curiosity, creativity, and connections.

Because I was curious about Mark’s talk, I picked up creative ideas from it, and connected them into today’s post. Thanks, Mark!

~~~

TKZers: Does curiosity enhance your creativity? Do such connections find their way into your writing? Please share some examples.

~~~

 

Curiosity leads investigator Tawny Lindholm into a creative deep fake trap. Can she connect clues in time to save herself and an unjustly accused woman? Find out in Deep Fake Double Down. 

Universal book link

True Crime Thursday – Baby Grand Piano Scam

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Searobin, CC BY-SA 3.0 <http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/>, via Wikimedia Commons

by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

A college music major receives an email that’s a dream come true. A professor from the same college retired and must find a good home for a gently used baby grand piano. Money isn’t important. In fact, the professor will give the piano away as long as the recipient cherishes it as much as the professor did. To receive the piano, the student only needs to pay a moving company to deliver it.

For a little over $500, delivery is in 10 days, or for expedited two-day service, the fee is $1000. Simply pay the charge in advance by Zelle or cryptocurrency.

A university alum receives a similar email from a professor at that university who’s assisting the widow of a faculty member. She must downsize and wants to donate her husband’s precious baby grand piano to someone who will truly appreciate it. Similar terms: pay a moving company only for delivery charges by Zelle or crypto payment in advance.

Seeing a pattern?

In reality, there is no retired professor or widow, no moving company, and, most of all, no piano. There is only a scammer who preys on unsuspecting victims, pocketing untraceable payments that can’t be recovered.

Scammers understand psychology and know how to appeal to emotions. They offer a music lover’s dream come true for free. But free is almost never free. 

Attorney Steve Weisman posts daily fraud warnings on his excellent website Scamicide. His report from June 21, 2024 says:

“Cybersecurity company Proofpoint recently discovered a scam in which people are receiving emails offering a free piano which is available often purportedly due to a death in the family.  The scam has largely targeted students and professors at colleges and universities. Often in the email, the scammer poses a someone from the same college or university as that of the targeted victim.  According to Proofpoint they have identified about 125,000 of these emails sent since the beginning of the year.”

Steve adds:

“People may trust emails such as this due to affinity fraud where we tend to trust people with whom we share some kind of connection and getting an email such as this that appears to come from someone at your college or university may cause the person receiving the email to trust it to be legitimate.”

The free baby grand piano scam has been around for several years but affinity angle may be a newer, more sophisticated refinement. Reddit has numerous reports about the fraud, including this one from 2021 where the intended victim fortunately caught on before sending money.

The scammer runs ads in online marketplaces like Craig’s List, offering a premium piano for free. The ad is embellished with sentiments that appeal to the buyer’s emotions, like: “want[ing] the piano to be used to share with friends and family the joys of music.”

The person who answers the ad is then referred to a professional-looking website of a moving company that will deliver the piano. Contact may be by email or live chat. The mover even sends a photo of the piano to add legitimacy. However, the photo is probably a generic one from a stock photo site…like the one I used to illustrate this post.

Pro tip: To check photo sources, run a reverse image search through TinEye or Google. This tip also works to verify photos featured on dating sites where the subjects are often models, not real people.

The terms for the delivery payment should set off deafening alarm bells: No credit cards, no PayPal, no secured money transfers. Payment must be made in advance via Zelle, money order, or gift cards.

Peer-to-peer (P2P) payments are popular because they are a fast, convenient way to send money.

The downside: if the merchandise isn’t delivered or is defective, the buyer has no recourse.  Once fraudsters receive the money, they disappear. The victim is out of luck because law enforcement can’t help.

Here’s Steve’s recommendation about using P2P services: 

“There are many other scams involving Venmo, Zelle and other P2P services and the legal protection that you get with these services in the event you are scammed is nowhere near as great as the protection you get with your credit card.  A good rule to follow is to never use Venmo, Zelle or any other P2P service for any business transaction, but limit their use to small transfers between friends and family.”

Brown University posts piano scam warnings on their “Phish Bowl” site. They included the below email which was particularly entertaining. Notice Josiah’s position.

From: Josiah [deleted]
Subject: Baby yamaha piano for free
Date: October 13, 2023 at 5:37:10 PM EDT
To:

Dear Student /Staff/Faculty,
One of our staff, Mr. Phil H. is downsizing and looking to give
away his late dad’s piano to a loving home. The Piano is a 2014 Yamaha
Baby Grand size used like new. You can write to him to indicate your
interest on his private email [deleted] to arrange an
inspection and delivery with a moving company. Kindly write Mr. Phil H. via your private email for a swift response.

Josiah [deleted]
Professor of Psychoceramics

Per Wiktionary: “Noun. psychoceramics. The study of crackpots.”

Gotta appreciate a scammer with a sense of humor.

Many thanks to Steve Weisman for permission to quote.

~~~

TKZers: Do you know about frauds where valuable items (like a piano) are offered as bait? Have you or someone you know ever been targeted by an affinity scammer?

~~~

 

Investigator Tawny Lindholm encounters a clever affinity scam in Stalking Midas. But a glamorous con artist has killed before to cover her tracks. Now Tawny is in her crosshairs.

Sales link.