Smackdown: English Instructor vs. Freshman

By John Gilstrap

By the time I got to college, writing and public speaking were my things–the niches I’d cut out for myself. I wasn’t nearly as good at either as I thought I was, but that’s what being a freshman is all about, right? I wanted to be a good student and I wanted to get good grades, both of which came so easily in high school but then proved to be elusive at the College of William and Mary in Virginia, where I was surrounded by students for whom such things likewise came easily in high school.

Western Civ kicked my ass. Honestly, who can possibly read all that stuff? As a science, Geology looked a lot better in the catalogue than it turned out to be in the classroom. Anthropology was cool, but again, what’s with all that reading? Holy crap! The Yanomamo are interesting, I suppose, but not for five hundred pages!

English 101 was supposed to be my happy place, the slam-dunk. I’d been editor of my high school paper, for crying out loud. I’d never gotten less than an A in any English class in my life. Welcome to college, kid.

This was 1975 and Mr. Greene (not Professor, mind you, making him only an instructor of English, apparently an important distinction) was a groovy, happening guy. With shoulder-length hair and a porn star mustache, he wore bellbottoms and sandals–the kind with the leather loop around the big toe. While he never did it around us, I’m confident he toked maryjane in his off hours. I would not have been surprised to learn that he owned a set of finger cymbals.

Our very first assignment from Mr. Greene was to write a one-page descriptive essay. Easy-peasy.

My Pop-Pop Bonner had passed away shortly before, so I wrote of seeing him laid out in the funeral home for the first time. I’d never seen a corpse before, and I’d never encountered the overwhelming smell (stench, actually) of all those flowers. I wrote of my hesitation to approach the casket and of my refusal to touch his hand as my mom wanted me to do. The payoff of the piece was that Pop-Pop had always been a working man, and there in the casket was first time I’d ever seen the lenses of his glasses be clean. I cried when I wrote it. I thought it was great. I turned it in with the naive confidence of an easy A.

Next class, Mr. Greene handed it back to me ungraded, with the note, “See me.”

I saw him. He told me that my piece was non-responsive to the assignment. He wanted a descriptive essay. I gave him a story. He gave me till the next class meeting to try it again.

I did try it again. I described the bejesus out of that scene. I talked about my uncomfortable shoes, about the crucifix on the wall, the light through the windows, the color of the carpet–everything. If nothing else, I demonstrated my knowledge of adjectives. I turned it in.

“SEE ME.” Note the caps.

I saw him. “What is this? Are you mocking me?”

I honestly don’t remember my reply. I might not have replied at all. Being a keen reader of body language and listener to words, I knew that I’d done something wrong, but I for the life of me didn’t know what it was. I certainly was not mocking him. Then. I most definitely am now.

I got a third swing at the ball. Lucky me.

Back at my dorm, I vented to my buddy Paul who lived next door (and is now a professor of accounting), who, as luck would have it, also had Mr. Greene but at a different time, and declared the descriptive essay to be the simplest assignment in history. He let me read what he’d written.

Oh.

My final rewrite was about a vase with flowers in it. No action, no emotion. Just flowers and a vessel to hold them. I got my A.

To this day, I do not understand the point of that exercise. For a reader to bond with a scene–with the description–movement and emotion are essential. Looking back, I must have instinctively realized the importance of point of view in creating a scene. In reality, plot, setting character can never exist effectively without interacting, all of it filtering through point of view narration.

My version was better.

And I still miss Pop-Pop.

Me Talk Pretty One Day
And Maybe Even Write Better

Val d’Orcia in Tuscany, where the homecoming scene in “Gladiator” was filmed

By PJ Parrish

Buongiorno, cani del crimine!

Okay, fair warning. This post is going to be full of digressions. Because I am of a wandering mood today.

As you read this, I am probably having dinner somewhere in Tuscany. Am writing this ahead of departure, however, so I don’t have a clue where I will actually be. I travel with my husband Daniel, my best friend Linda and another old-friend-couple Roon and Athena. We’ve had great luck traveling together so we’re off again – The Traveling Wilburys.

First digression: Most of you have probably heard of the real Traveling Wilburys. They were a super-group composed of George Harrison, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne and Roy Orbison. You had to be special to be a Wilbury. Not everyone had the creds and soul to be a Wilbury.

On a Sirius XM Tom Petty channel, Petty talked about how they used to sit around and muse about who could be a Wilbury and who could not. Jack Nicholson = Wilbury. Richard Dreyfuss = great actor but never a Wilbury.

This is how we feel about our little travel group. You have to have the right stuff. Our Wilburys like the countryside, not big cities. We seek out eateries discovered on the wing, not Michelin-mandated must-tries. We love to sit in cafes and watch the world go by, not face the selfie-hoards around the Mona Lisa. I am convinced conflicting travel vibes is behind the failure of many marriages.

But I digress.

I have been trying to learn some Italian before this trip. I do it because I think it’s necessary to have good manners as a visitor and because I found it so darn frustrating on my first trip to France in 1985 that I couldn’t talk to folks.

After much agony and decades, I can speak enough French to get by. As David Sedaris wrote of his own sad attempts to learn French: Me talk pretty one day. From his essay of the same name:

Learning French is a lot like joining a gang in that it involves a long and intensive period of hazing. And it wasn’t just my teacher; the entire population seemed to be in on it. Following brutal encounters with my local butcher and the concierge of my building, I’d head off to class, where the teacher would hold my corrected paperwork high above her head, shouting, “Here’s proof that David is an ignorant and uninspired ensigiejsokhjx.”

My only comfort was the knowledge that I was not alone. Huddled in the smoky hallways and making the most of our pathetic French, my fellow students and I engaged in the sort of conversation commonly overheard in refugee camps.

“Sometimes me cry alone at night.” “That is common for me also, but be more strong, you. Much work, and someday you talk pretty. People stop hate you soon. Maybe tomorrow, okay?”

But I digress.

Learning a new language isn’t just for the benefit of the foreigners you might meet. It’s good for you. Like at a cellular level.

Everyone’s brain is made up of neurons, and things called dendrites, which are the connections between neurons. This is what we call “grey matter.” Bilingual folks have more of these neurons and dendrites compared to the rest of us. This means that their grey matter is even greyer.

Bilingualism also has an impact your brain’s white matter. This is the system of nerve fibres which connect all four lobes of the brain. This system coordinates communication between the different brain regions. This helps you learn new stuff. Bilinguals have a lot of white stuff.

Yeah, but it’s hard, darn it. Kids, well, they tend to pick up languages pretty easily. We old farts really struggle. But it’s worth it. Just the process of trying to learn Italian gives my brain a workout and protects me from dementia. So I can say with great confidence that after six months suffering through Babbel Italian, I can now say “Where are the car keys?” (Dove sono le chiavi della macchina?). But I still have trouble finding my car in the lot at Home Depot.

Scientific studies have shown that learning a language also helps you stay awake. Just one week studying a new language helps students’ levels of alertness and focus. This improvement was maintained with continuous language study of at least five hours a week.  And get this: Improvement in attention span was noted across all age groups up to 80. This gives me great hope because napping is my new hobby.

But I digress.

Okay, so learning Italian is good for:

  1. Polite manners
  2. Finding a bathroom in Cortona
  3. Helping your memory
  4. Keeping you awake

But what does all this have to do with writing novels? (And you thought I didn’t have a point today). Well, turns out that according to studies, learning a foreign language helps you communicate better in your native language. It also boosts your powers of empathy. And maybe the best benefit: It increases your ability to see things from a different perspective. To put it another way, foreign language study:

  1. Enhances your command of English
  2. Makes you understand human nature
  3. Allows you to walk in another person’s shoes. Madame Bovary, c’est moi.

Don’t we novelists need all three of those in spades?

In trying to learn French, I had to respect the structure of the language (if you put an adjective in the wrong place, it can change its meaning completely). I had to learn the nuances of the accent and subjunctive tense (One neglected subjunctive and a kiss is not a kiss, it’s a shag). In trying to learn Italian, the biggest lesson I learned was that sometimes you just have to go with the flow.

Italian is a very quirky language. I’m a tad anal and I drove myself crazy trying to analyze the whys behind it. I was always looking for the theory and sense behind its structure. I finally gave up and just tried to speak. I hear that the Italians are a very forgiving people.

I love idioms and my favorite in Italian so far is this one:

Non tutte le ciambelle riescono col buco.

This translates literally as “not all donuts come out with holes.” It means, roughly, that things aren’t going according to plan but, hey, don’t sweat it. Que sera. It’s a verbal shrug. Which is pretty good advice in any language for any situation, right?

But I digress.

A presto, amici!

 

Arm Your Antagonist with This Important Weapon

I’ve got a special treat for you today. Becca Puglisi joins us with tips on how to flesh out antagonists. Please help me welcome her back to TKZ.

Cover linked to Amazon

We all know the importance of tapping into our character’s feelings and conveying those clearly to readers. When we do this, readers connect with our characters and become invested in the story. This is how we keep them engaged beyond the first few pages or chapters.

But sometimes our characters don’t want to “go there” emotionally. Maybe they’re resistant to change and have a death grip on the status quo. They might be uncomfortable with certain emotions and will try to hide or repress them. Un-dealt-with trauma may cause them to avoid their feelings. There are a lot of reasons a character might need an extra push to get them out of their emotional comfort zone. And the best way to do this is with an amplifier. Emotion amplifiers are specific states or conditions that influence what the character feels by disrupting their equilibrium and reducing their ability to think critically.

Distraction, bereavement, and exhaustion are examples. Emotionally speaking, these states destabilize the character and nudge them toward poor judgments, bad decisions, and mistakes—all of which result in more friction and increased tension in the story. And that’s often what we want.

But we’re not the only ones invested in making life difficult for our characters. Villains, rivals, frenemies, antiheroes, and other morally flexible characters will often seek to undermine other characters as a means of controlling them or manipulating their circumstances. A strategically used amplifier is a great tool for bringing those devious pursuits to fruition. Here are a few examples of short-term goals your bad guy or girl may pursue and how an amplifier can help bring them about.

MANIPULATING MOOD

Mood is a temporary state of mind—tending toward negative or positive—that is often influenced by external stimuli. It affects a character’s perception of themselves, other people, and their situation and influences their decision-making.

Someone with a vested interest in changing the character’s mood can easily do so with an amplifier. Maybe they purposefully put the protagonist into a state of exhaustion by disrupting their sleep, or they force them to endure the hardship of cold temperatures by killing their heater in winter. As the character’s mood swings, they go right where the adversary wants them: emotionally elevated, irritable, and distracted from what really matters.

ENSURING COMPLIANCE

Antagonists tend to crave compliance; after all, it’s a lot easier to dominate others when they’re not actively fighting against you. If the protagonist hasn’t yet recognized their enemy, all the adversary has to do is quietly manipulate the situation to weaken them. Then they can step in and lead the character in the wrong direction, offer self-serving advice, or magnify any cognitive or emotional dissonances already in play.

In the movie Ghost, Molly’s husband Sam is dead, and she’s in the throes of bereavement. Her good friend Carl (who, unbeknownst to Molly, was responsible for Sam’s death) is now subtly putting the romantic moves on her. His attempts are unsuccessful, so he takes a different tack by pushing her deeper into grief, deliberately using her situation to make her more vulnerable and open to suggestion—a despicable but frequently successful way to gain control and influence over someone’s decisions.

Another way a character can ensure compliance is by introducing an amplifier to create an undesirable situation, then using that situation to “rescue” the victim. Consider a greedy land baron who wants to take over a town, if he can just depose the matriarch. So he uses his considerable resources to create a local famine. Crops fail, people and animals go hungry, and the coming winter promises even greater suffering and death. Fear becomes as abundant as food once was. The matriarch, unable to identify the cause of the famine, is powerless to resolve the problem.

Then a stranger comes to town. He expresses sympathy for the villagers and reverses the famine to provide food until the next harvest. The indebted villagers begin to view him as more capable and resourceful than their own matriarch, and voilà! Through a fabricated disaster fueled by hunger and fear, the antagonist has earned the trust of the people and is on his way to claiming the village for himself.

CAUSING A PSYCHOLOGICAL DERAILMENT

But what if it’s not enough to simply win people over? In extreme cases, an antagonist may need to break down their opponent mentally and emotionally before building them back up in their own image. Leveraging the following amplifiers can help accomplish this.

Isolation: Separating a character from other people and even the wider world creates an unmet need in the area of social connection (love and belonging on Maslow’s hierarchy). Isolated characters make easier targets because of their emotional vulnerability and their longing to be accepted by others.

Confinement: Trapping or restricting a character in some way makes them emotionally volatile and reliant, forcing them to depend upon their captor for release, information, or whatever they need to survive.

Forced addiction: Creating a dependency on drugs, medicine, or other substances alters the character’s mental state, tempting them to sacrifice their moral code and reconstruct their priorities as the substance becomes the most important thing.

Torture and trauma: These potent tools, applied directly to the character or indirectly to loved ones, make the protagonist more fragile and easier to break.

Brainwashing. Thought reform through altering the character’s beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors is the tool of a morally destitute antagonist. This subtle process twists fear and hope in a perverse way to rewire the subject’s brain to align with the adversary’s own ideas.

These are difficult notions to consider, particularly as we know these amplifiers are used in the real world for heinous purposes. As such, writers shouldn’t deploy them casually. But they are legitimate options for a corrupt character who’s motivated enough to use them.

There are so many ways a character may seek to achieve their nefarious goals, and an amplifier can be the most effective. Make your antagonist a force to be reckoned with. Arm them with amplifiers that will make them more powerful, create challenges for the protagonist to navigate, and encourage readers to keep turning pages to see who wins.

 

For more information on amplifiers and how they can empower antagonists (and steer story structure, encourage character growth…the list goes on!), keep an eye out for the 2nd edition of The Emotion Amplifier Thesaurus, releasing on May 13th. Available now!

Happy Release Day, Becca!

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and other resources for writers. Her books have sold over 1 million copies and are available in multiple languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online resource for authors that’s home to the Character Builder and Storyteller’s Roadmap tools.

The Writing Biz: Noncompete Clauses and New Careers

by James Scott Bell
@jamesscottbell

Two things caught my eye this week I think you should know about.

1. The End of the Noncompete Clause?

Traditionally published authors authors take note (and discuss with your agent): The Federal Trade Commission has issued a rule banning noncompete clauses. Under the rule, existing noncompetes for the vast majority of workers will no longer be enforceable after the rule’s effective date on Sept. 4, 2024.

The Authors Guild applauds the rule:

The Authors Guild has long objected to non-compete clauses and advised their removal in our contract reviews. These clauses, which are purportedly designed to protect publishers’ investments by preventing authors from selling the same or substantially similar work to another publisher, are often too broad. Authors are routinely asked to agree not to publish other works that might “directly compete with” the book under contract or “be likely to injure its sale or the merchandising of other rights.” Even more broadly, they may be asked not to “publish or authorize the publication of any material based on the Work or any material in the Work or any other work of such a nature such that it is likely to compete with the Work.”

Such open-ended non-compete clauses can prevent authors from pursuing other writing opportunities. If a new project even arguably deals with the same “subject” as the book under contract, the non-compete can be invoked to prevent an author from publishing elsewhere. For writers specializing in a particular subject, this could be career-derailing.

Certainly an author shouldn’t “compete” with their trad book by, say, self-publishing a similar book in the same season, etc. The publisher does deserve some protection for their investment, and your full marketing effort to help the book succeed.

On the other hand, a writer should be free to make more dough without the threat of a noncompete hammer coming down upon them. Thus, I have advocated for a more specific and fairer noncompete. But that may be moot in view of this new rule.

However, keep watch, for there are grounds for a lawsuit challenging the rule. Indeed, one of the Commissioners strongly dissented:

The rule nullifies more than thirty million existing contracts, and forecloses countless tens of millions of future contracts. The Commission estimates that the rule could cost employers between $400 billion and $488 billion in additional wages and benefits over the next ten years—and does not even hazard a guess at the value of the 30 million contracts it nullifies.

His reason for dissenting is that “an administrative agency’s power to regulate … must always be grounded in a valid grant of authority from Congress. Because we lack that authority, the Final Rule is unlawful.”

We shall see.

2. Can New Writers Still Have a Career?

It is “staggeringly difficult,” according to industry vet Mike Shatzkin.

You don’t have to be an insider to know that there were 500,000 titles in English available in 1990 and that more than 20 million are available from Ingram (thanks to print-on-demand) today. And that everything that was ever made available remains on sale through “normal channels” (which is “online”, not “in store”) forever. It doesn’t take a math genius to reckon that a pretty stable total book purchasing and readership constituency will result in dramatic reductions in sales per title.

In a meeting with publishing vets, he came away with this:

One agent has two clients who are successful self-publishers (there are subsidiary rights and foreign rights to occupy an agent.) Two things stood out about them. One is that they both published exclusively with Amazon, without the complement (which I would have thought would be “standard”) of also working through Ingram. The other thing was that they both started working their genres (and they publish exclusively genre fiction) in 2008 or so, before the rush of self-publishers in genres had saturated the market. So they established their brands in their genre marketplace when the competition was still minimal. The agent reports that both of these authors don’t believe they’d be successful starting to do this today.

JSB: I don’t agree with the last statement as a “rule.” The goal for a writer today is not wide distribution, but growing an “own list.” That can still be done, if the quality is there. True, the “breakout novel” is rarer than ever, but it has always been the exception. The writers who make a good chunk of change over time deliver quality product that grows a readership, which they nurture via email list and some social media presence.

It is, indeed, almost impossible to get a significant advance from a publisher unless sales are assured either by a highly branded author or an author platform of some kind that has significant promise for marketing and sales.

JSB: True that! And if that noncompete rule holds up, I would expect advances to be lower to nonexistent.

Comments welcome.

Splitting Personalities

After struggling for years, maybe decades, you The Writer gets published. Celebrations! Parties! Champagne! Now you can legitimately call yourself an author. The book is a modest success and if you’re lucky, there’s a two or three book contract and eventually a world of your own making grows in print.

Like most of us have experienced, it probably won’t be that hoped-for blockbuster, because as I read last weekend, there are a million traditionally printed books released each year, and if we add in self-publishing, it jumps to four million titles clamoring for attention. That equates to about eleven thousand books hitting the figurative shelves each day. To put it simply, all this makes it hard to get noticed.

But you’re published and the fruits of your imagination are out there for everyone to read and enjoy. If you produce two novels in the same genre, you’ve most likely established a “brand.” You now write thrillers, mysteries, cozies, science fiction, fantasy, and any number of other genres.

Let’s say you write thrillers. The cover bears your name, and you’ve figured out how all this works. Unlike that first one that you toiled and sweated over, the second manuscript comes a little easier, mostly because you have a contract specifying a delivery time and by golly you’re gonna make it.

The next book comes out, and a year later, another. Though you still haven’t made the bestseller list, the checks keep coming in and the reviews are great. You’re on a roll.

The phone rings. “Uh, Author? We’re negotiating the contract for a new book.”

“While you do that, I’m going to write something different. I have an idea for a romantic thriller.”

“That isn’t what you write.”

There. You’re pigeonholed to only do what you’ve done in the past, but is that a bad thing? Most authors have stories that swirl like the little birds around a cartoon character’s head. You’ve been reading thrillers and after finishing the last one you told yourself, “I can do better.”

You’ve always wanted to be published, and so should you just settle in and stay in that lane?

My answer is no, if you want to experiment with ideas outside of what you’re doing. After writing mysteries for several years, you want to do something different and that’s perfectly understandable. You and your readers love those characters and the fictional world you created, but if you read everything from thrillers, to westerns, to nonfiction, you might feel a calling to trying something different.

Is it a career killer to switch genres?

Ask A.A. Milne. He wrote murder mysteries, after he tried his hand in writing humor and plays before Winnie the Pooh was born.

Cormac McCarthy wrote literary fiction for years before releasing his outstanding western titled, Blood Meridian. He also penned a number of contemporary westerns and eventually moved on to the apocalyptic novel, The Road before writing historical fiction.

With more than 225 romance novels in her backlist, Nora Roberts decided she wanted to write futuristic police procedurals. You might know her as J.D. Robb.

And did you know that fun movie that came out in the 1968 with Dick Van Dyke as the lead character was written by the creator of James Bond? Ian Fleming wrote Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in 1962.

Dean Koontz began his writing career by producing lean mystery novels, many under pen names early in his career such as Brian Coffey (Blood Risk in 1973), before moving to horror, (Intensity), and now a flood of suspense thrillers. But within these current pages, he also adds elements of horror, fantasy and science fiction. He’s blending genres.

Larry McMurtry wrote western novels such as the nontraditional western Horseman, Pass By (1961), to Moving On (still another contemporary western about marriage and adult relationships), and literary fiction utilizing dark comedy and romance (The Evening Star). He concentrated on these genres for years before writing the Pulitzer Prize-winning western novel, Lonesome Dove. In his later years, McMurtry switched from one genre to another, even producing nonfiction books on the old west.

You roll your eyes at these examples. “Yeah, but these folks are famous!”

They are now, but they all started out with that first novel, then the second, until they gained enough experience and confidence to branch out, despite possible warnings from friends, publishers, and agents.

In my opinion, and with the examples above as evidence, you don’t have to “stick with what brung you,” to borrow and old southern saying.

It’s your work, your brand, and your name, and you should follow your instincts. For some authors, producing only one novel a year is almost overwhelming but satisfying and that’s enough. For others who like to play with their imaginary friends, two, and maybe three books a year is a real possibility, and that gives you the opportunity to experiment and branch out.

No matter how you do it, under your own name, or with a pseudonym, do your own thing.

Reader Friday-Worst Advice Ever

You said to do what?? (Image courtesy of Pixabay)

By Deb Gorman

We’ve discussed in these halls the best/worst advice ever given to us, particularly in the realm of writing.

Today, let’s flip that around.

What’s the worst advice or counsel you’ve ever given to someone else–come on, we’re all friends here–‘fess up!

I’ll start: Decades ago at my (first) wedding, I advised my Mom to not go looking for my little brother, age 10, who was the junior groomsman. She wanted to make sure he was properly kitted up in his miniature tux. I told her he knew how to dress himself, and to please stay with me.

Boy howdy, was I wrong!

He was given black socks to wear with his tux and spit-polished black dress shoes, but instead, he chose to wear his bright orange fuzzy tube socks. (Remember those?) They shone like a beacon under his too-short by two inches slacks.

I didn’t notice, being a very nervous bride, and family and guests were given strict instructions not to tell me. The professional photos were a sight to behold.

Not exactly a tuxedo, but the socks are orange! (Image courtesy of Pixabay)

 

 

Okay, your turn . . . worst advice you’ve ever dished out to someone else. We’re all ears–

 

 

 

The Case of the Bird-Brained Witness

By Elaine Viets

   The witness to the murder could repeat every word the killer and the victim said during the fatal confrontation.  The witness was alive, but not human.

          What was the witness?

          A parrot. An African grey to be exact.

          While researching A Scarlet Death, my new Angela Richman, death investigator mystery, I learned about parrots as murder witnesses. This information has been compiled from news stories.

          Consider the 2017 case of the woman in Michigan convicted of her husband’s murder, thanks in part to his parrot. Police first thought someone had murdered the husband and tried to kill the wife. The woman survived being shot in the head. But the parrot repeated the husband’s last words. The parrot said, “Don’t f—-ing shoot!” in the husband’s voice. Turns out the woman murdered her husband and then tried to kill herself. The details of the shooting were remarkably vivid, as reported by the parrot. It was an African grey.

          In 2018, another parrot witnessed the rape and murder of a woman in Argentina. Her parrot repeated the whole terrible crime, saying, “No, please. Let me go,” which investigators believe were the last words of the woman.

          My favorite case was the parrot who knew too much. In the mid-1990s, Echo was put into witness protection. The New Orleans parrot belonged to a crime boss who was suspected of child abuse, among other crimes. Late at night, the bird would sometimes cry like a child, then sound like it was moaning in pain, and then make a noise like whack, or thwack! as if someone was being hit. The bird had to be hidden because it knew too much and wouldn’t shut up.

        When an animal seriously harms or kills a person, it’s often put down. But in past centuries, the beast was given a trial.

          Pigs for instance. Whether you think pigs are cute little animals, or pork chops on the hoof, they have a bad reputation. People who live in farm country know the stories of farmers who had heart attacks out by the pig pen and were eaten by their animals.

          In the Middle Ages, pigs were tried for murder. In 1386, a sow mauled a child so badly, it died. The pig was arrested, imprisoned and stood trial for murder. The homicidal hog was found guilty and executed by hanging.

Weirdly enough, the sow was dressed in men’s clothes when it was hanged. There’s no record if the defendant was eaten.

          In my new book, A Scarlet Death, Buddy, a murder victim’s African grey parrot seems to recount details of its owner’s brutal death.

          Chouteau Forest death investigator Angela Richman and attorney Montgomery Bryant are discussing the parrot’s testimony over dinner.

          “Let’s go back to the parrot,” Angela said. “Any chance that talking birds will be allowed to testify in court? They’re very smart.”

          “Too many problems,” the lawyer said. “How do we know Buddy the parrot actually heard the victim being murdered?”

          “Because of what he said. And Buddy’s words match the facts.” Angela speared a tender piece of chicken breast.

   “But what if we don’t know the facts?” Monty asked. “Or what if Buddy is imitating something he heard on TV? People could be convicted on the word of a parrot that watched CSI.”

          “But Buddy said the killer’s name.”

          “He did. How do we know the parrot didn’t just drop that name in there because he heard his owner say it on the phone?”

          “OK, I get it,” l said. “But I wish we knew what animals were saying to us, don’t you?”

          “Some of them, like cats and dogs.”

            Monty finished his last bite of burger and said, “However, I’d just as soon not know what this cow was saying on the way to the slaughterhouse.”

           So, did Buddy the parrot help the police solve his owner’s murder? You’ll have to read A Scarlet Death to find out.

Enter my contest to win a free ebook of A Scarlet Death. Send your name and email address to WinEVbooks@aol.com. Contest closes midnight, May 31.

 

 

Recharging the Batteries

Recharging the Batteries
Terry Odell

Routines are great. They’re comfortable. They keep us grounded. They keep us productive. But every now and then, it’s a good idea to get out of the rut. Do you have to order the same coffee every time? Dare you mix things up?

With writing, sometimes changes are very simple. For example, when I do my nightly reads of each completed chapter, I print it out and read it in bed. That gives me a different perspective and a different mindset. The words don’t look the same on paper as they do on the screen. I’m not getting mental “you’re at work” messages. I’m relaxed and reading my chapter the same way I’d be reading the book on my nightstand.

Even more of a change is how I read my draft of my completed manuscript. For this read-through, I change the font. Since I use TNR on my computer, I’ll use a sans-serif font for my printout. I reduce the size and print it single-spaced in columns. Not only does it save paper, but it totally changes the way my brain sees the words. The words line up differently, so repeated words jump out more readily. I’ve found it’s a very effective way to get through the entire manuscript that first time. It’s reading with fresh eyes.

Sometimes, the entire writing gig can use a jump start. Right now, I’ve hit the wall that shows up in every book, so I’ve left my mountain in Colorado for a getaway at an inn in Boonsboro, Maryland. (Thus, I’m probably not going to be able to respond to comments right away, but I’ll do my best.) I’m spending this week on a writing retreat with one of my writing partners. We’re planning a little sightseeing, taking advantage of some of the inn’s “girl time pampering”, and some face-to-face, real-time brainstorming. Maybe even a little writing.

In addition to a complimentary breakfast each morning, this inn offers a wine and charcuterie service every evening. What’s not to like?

My companion on this trip is starting her fourth book in her series about a character who’s in tune to the “other side” although she considers her “gift” more of a curse.

Turns out, where we’re staying is supposed to be haunted, and my buddy is hoping to pick up some vibes from any resident spirits.

Me, not so much on the ghostly angle, but the inn is owned by a prolific best-selling author and each of the guest rooms is decorated based on a book and its leading characters.. They are:

The Scarlet Pimpernel – Marguerite and Percy
The Thin Man – Nick and Nora
A Midsummer Night’s Dream – Titania and Oberon
Pride and Prejudice – Elizabeth and Darcy
The In Death Novels – Eve and Roarke
Jane Eyre – Jane and Rochester
The Princess Bride – Westley and Buttercup

With so much literary power lurking in the wings, I’m hoping the “writer” side of me gains some inspiration.

I’m looking forward to the different environment, and that a real in person person to bounce ideas off of gets the momentum going again.

We’re both hoping to come away from this retreat with our writing batteries recharged.

What about you? What’s your favorite battery charging station?

ereader displaying The Mapleton Mysteries by author Terry OdellMeanwhile, in other news, as an antidote to “hitting the wall”, I put together a bundle of the first 3 books in my Mapleton Mystery series: Deadly Secrets, Deadly Bones, and Deadly Puzzles. It went on sale Monday. You can get it here.


Terry Odell is an award-winning author of Mystery and Romantic Suspense, although she prefers to think of them all as “Mysteries with Relationships.”

Ten Tips for DIY Editing

by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

A couple of weeks ago, I attended the Montana Writers Rodeo and wrote a post about the fun, enlightening conference experience.

Today, here are the 10 tricks (plus one bonus tip) from my workshop at the Rodeo on how to edit your own writing.

Newer writer: “Why should I worry about spelling, grammar, and typos? The editor will fix them.”

Hate to break the news but that ain’t gonna happen. 

Being a professional means we’re responsible for quality of the book we turn out.

Whose name is on the cover?

Ours.

If there are errors, who gets blamed?

We do.

That’s an important reason to hone our own editing skills.

Whether you go the traditional route or self-publish, a well-written story without typos and errors increases your chance of successful publication.

Due to layoffs, fewer editors work at publishing houses. Those who remain are swamped with other tasks, leaving little time to actually edit. In recent years, I’ve noticed an uptick in grammar, punctuation, and spelling goofs in traditionally published books.

If you indie-pub, a book with errors turns off readers. 

The overarching goal of authors is to make the writing so smooth and effortless that readers glide through the story without interruption.

We want them to become lost in the story and forget they’re reading.

How can we accomplish that? By self-editing to the best of our ability.

As a freelance editor, what do I look for when I review a manuscript?

  • Is the writing clear and understandable?
  • Do stumbling blocks and awkward phrases interrupt the flow?
  • Are there unnecessary words or redundancies?
  • Are there nouns with lots of adjectives?
  • Do weak verbs need adverbs to make the action clear?

Here are my 10 favorite guidelines. Please note, I said guidelines, not rules! 

1. Delete the Dirty Dozen Junk WordsGo on a global search-and-destroy mission for the following words/phrases:

It is/was

There is/was

That

Just

Very

Really

Quite

Almost

Sort of

Rather

Turned to…

Began to…

Getting rid of unnecessary junk words tightens writing and makes stronger sentences.

Clear, concise narrative is your mission…with the exception of dialogue.

Characters ramble, stammer, repeat themselves, and backtrack. Natural, realistic-sounding dialogue uses colloquialisms, regional idiosyncrasies, ethnic speech patterns, etc.

Photo credit: Wikimedia

But, like hot sauce, a little goes a long way.

At the Rodeo, actor/director Leah Joki used excerpts from Huckleberry Finn to illustrate the power of dialogue.

But hearing it is different from reading it. If overdone, too much dialect can make an arduous slog. Imagine translating page after page of sentences like this one from Jim in  Huck Finn:

“Yo’ ole father doan’ know yit what he’s a-gwyne to do.”

  1. Set the stage – At the beginning of each scene or chapter, establish:

WHO is present?

WHERE are they?

WHEN is the scene happening?

If you ground the reader immediately in the fictional world, they can plunge into the story without wondering what’s going on.

  1. Naming NamesDistinctive character names help the reader keep track of who is who.

Create a log of character names used.

Easy trick: write the letters of the alphabet down the left margin of a page. As you name characters, fill in that name beside the corresponding letter of the alphabet. That saves you from winding up with Sandy, Samantha, Sarah, Sylvester.

Vary the number of syllables, e.g. Bob (1), Jeremiah (4), Annunciata (5).

Avoid names that look or sound similar like Michael, Michelle, Mickey.

Avoid rhyming names like Billy, Milly, Tilly.

  1. Precision Nouns, Vivid Verbs – Adjectives and adverbs are often used to prop up lazy nouns and verbs. Choose exact, specific nouns and verbs.

Instead of the generic word house, consider a specific noun that describes it, like bungalow, cottage, shanty, shack, chateau, mansion, castle. Notice how each conjures a different picture in the mind.

Photo credit: wikimedia CC BY 2.0 DEED

Holyroodhouse
Photo credit: Christophe Meneboeuf CC-BY-SA 4.0 DEED

Instead of the generic verb run, try more descriptive verbs like race, sprint, dart, dash, gallop. That gives readers a vivid vision of the action.

  1. Chronology and Choreography – Establish the timeline.

Photo credit: IMDB database

Quentin Tarantino can get away with scenes that jump back and forth in time like a rabid squirrel on crack.

But a jumbled timeline risks confusing the reader. Unless you have a compelling reason to write events out of order, you’re probably better off sticking to conventional chronology.

 

Are actions described in logical order? Does cause lead to effect? Does action trigger reaction?

Chronology also applies to sentences. In both examples below, the reader can figure out what’s going on, but which sentence is simpler to follow?

  • George slashed Roger’s throat with the knife as he grabbed him from behind after he sneaked into the warehouse.
  • Knife in hand, George sneaked into the warehouse, grabbed Roger from behind, and slashed his throat.

In theatre, actors and directors block each scene. Clear blocking helps the reader visualize events and locations.

Establish where the characters are in relation to each other and their surroundings.

Map out doors, windows, cupboards, stairwells, secret passages, alleys, etc. where a bad guy might sneak up on the hero, or where the hero might escape.

Locate weapons.

Does the hero or the villain carry a gun or knife? Establish that before the weapon magically appears. 

Pre-place impromptu weapons (golf club, baseball bat, scissors) where the hero can grab them in an emergency. Or put them just out of reach to complicate the hero’s struggle.

  1. When to Summarize? When to dramatize?

Photo credit: Public Domain

Summarize or skip boring, mundane details like waking up, getting dressed, brushing teeth…unless the toothpaste is poisoned!

Dramatize important events and turning points in the story, such as:

  • New information is discovered.
  • A secret is revealed.
  • A character has a realization.
  • The plot changes direction.
  • A character changes direction.

7. Dynamic description – Make descriptive passages do double duty.

Rather than a driver’s license summary, show a character’s personality through their appearance and demeanor.

Static description: He had black hair, brown eyes, was 6’6″, weighed 220 pounds, and wore a gold shield.

Dynamic description: When the detective entered the interview room, his ‘fro brushed the top of the door frame. His dark gaze pierced the suspect. Under a tight t-shirt, his abs looked firm enough to deflect a hockey puck. 

Put setting description to work. Use location and weather to establish mood and/or foreshadow.

Static description: Birds were flying. There were clouds in the sky. An hour ago, the temperature had been 70 degrees but was now 45. She felt cold.

Dynamic description: Ravens circled, cawing warnings to each other. In the east, thunderheads tumbled across a sky that moments before had been bright blue. Rising wind cut through her hoody and prickled her skin with goosebumps.

  1. Read Out Loud – After reading the manuscript 1000+ times, your eyes are blind to skipped words, repetitions, awkward phrasing.

To counteract that, use your ears instead to catch problems.

Read your manuscript out loud and/or listen to it with text-to-speech programs on Word, Natural Reader, Speechify, etc. Your phone may also be able to read to you. Instruction links for Android and iPhone.

  1. Be Sensual – Exploit all five senses. Writers often use sight and hearing but sometimes forget taste, smell, and touch that evoke powerful memories and emotions in readers.

Think of the tang of lemon. Did you start to salivate?

Smell the stench of decomposition. Did you instinctively hold your breath and recoil?

Photo credit: Amber Kipp – Unsplash

 

Imagine a cat’s soft fur. Do your fingers want to stroke it? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  1. What’s the Right (Write) Word? – English is full of boobytraps called homophones, words that sound the same but don’t have the same meaning.

Spellcheck doesn’t catch mixups like:

its/it’s

there/they’re/their

cite/site/sight, etc.

Make a list of ones that often trip you up and run global searches for them. Or hire a copyeditor/proofreader.

Bonus Tip – When proofreading, change to a different font and increase the type size of your manuscript. That tricks the brain into thinking it’s seeing a different document and makes it easier to spot typos.

Self-editing is not a replacement for a professional editor. But when you submit a manuscript that’s as clean and error-free as you can make it, that saves the editor time and that saves you $$$ in editing fees! 

Effective self-editing means a reader can immerse themselves in a vivid story world without distractions.  

And isn’t that what it’s all about? 

~~~

TKZers: What editing issues crop up in your own writing?

Do you have tricks to catch errors? Please share them.

When you read a published book, what makes you stumble?

~~~

 

One reason Debbie Burke likes indie-publishing: goofs are easy to correct. In Dead Man’s Bluff, she discovered FILES were circling an animal carcass instead of FLIES. Took two seconds to fix and republish.

Available at all major online booksellers. 

 

Clerihew, Haiku, and You

A word fitly spoken
    is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.

–Proverbs 25:11

* * *

A few months ago, James Scott Bell posted Micro Fiction for Your Writer’s Brain on TKZ. It was about writing fiction that was less than 500 words long. (I’ll wait while you go back and review.)

That post gave me an idea for writing about even shorter form fiction, and I came across a few types that are both fun and challenging.

The Clerihew

The clerihew is a form of poetry that was invented by E.C. Bentley, the author of Trent’s Last Case and other novels. Bentley’s full name happens to be Edmund Clerihew Bentley. I guess when you have a middle name like Clerihew, you may as well come up with some clever and inventive use of it.

Here’s the definition of clerihew from Wikipedia:

clerihew (ˈklɛrɪhjuː) is a whimsical, four-line biographical poem of a type invented by Edmund Clerihew Bentley. The first line is the name of the poem’s subject, usually a famous person, and the remainder puts the subject in an absurd light or reveals something unknown or spurious about the subject. The rhyme scheme is AABB, and the rhymes are often forced. The line length and metre are irregular. Bentley invented the clerihew in school and then popularized it in books.

Here are a couple of examples:

Sir Humphry Davy
Abominated gravy.
He lived in the odium
Of having discovered sodium.

Did Descartes
Depart
With the thought
“Therefore I’m not”?

Here’s my humble attempt:

Albert Einstein
Had a very great mind
While in his prime
He relativized time

* * *

The Haiku

Back in 2021, Steve Hooley and his sister, Joyce, wrote a wonderful TKZ post on haiku poetry.

Dictionary.com defines haiku as

a major form of Japanese verse, written in 17 syllables divided into 3 lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables, and employing highly evocative allusions and comparisons, often on the subject of nature or one of the seasons.

Here are a couple of rather famous ones:

“A Caterpillar” by Matsuo Basho

A caterpillar,
This deep in fall –
Still not a butterfly.

 

“A Poppy Blooms” by Katsushika Hokusai

I write, erase, rewrite
Erase again, and then
A poppy blooms.

 

And another one by me:

Azalea blossoms
Pink, but ragged on the edge
Tomorrow’s lovers

* * *

The Limerick

Here’s what Britannica.com has to say about this poetic form:

Limerick, a popular form of short, humorous verse that is often nonsensical and frequently ribald. It consists of five lines, rhyming aabba, and the dominant metre is anapestic, with two metrical feet in the third and fourth lines and three feet in the others. The origin of the limerick is unknown, but it has been suggested that the name derives from the chorus of an 18th-century Irish soldiers’ song, “Will You Come Up to Limerick?” To this were added impromptu verses crowded with improbable incident and subtle innuendo.

 

Here’s a non-ribald example.

A tutor who taught on the flute
Tried to teach two tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
“Is it harder to toot, or
To tutor two tooters to toot?”

Personally, I love limericks. I occasionally compose one in honor of politicians or other strange creatures.  😎 I won’t share any of those, but here’s one I made up just for today:

My computer decided to die
Just as the deadline drew nigh
When the publisher screamed
I knew I was creamed
So I kissed my contract good-bye

* * *

So TKZers: What do you think about these poetic short forms? Pick one or two (or all three) and astound us by entering your work in the comments. Include something in your poem about one of your books if you’re so inclined.

* * *

There once was a pilot named Cassie
An intrepid sleuth was this lassie
She flew into danger,
But it didn’t change her
And she found the murderer fastly.

A 2024 Eric Hoffer Grand Prize Award Finalist

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