Left Coast Crime Report

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Left Coast Crime Report
Terry Odell

I’m back from Left Coast Crime, and I just know that you’ve all been waiting with bated breath to see how things went on the “Behind the Badge” panel.

Even if you’re not, I’m going to tell you anyway.

The four panelists covered a broad range of police stories. We had a time travel book where the cop lived in the past, another protagonist in the present, but they discovered a time portal (by accident) and could communicate with each other. The author’s challenge was getting the police procedures in place in the 1930s right, since the present-day protagonist wasn’t connected to law enforcement.

Another book was set in Pittsburgh, where someone had called in a crime, giving no more information than it was “under a bridge.” Given the city has over 400 bridges, the author had to figure out what the cops would do. (Hint: bridges all have their unique sounds, and they had the recording of the phone call.)

The third panelist’s book was set in Hong Kong in the 1960s, and since he’d lived there, he had a good idea of how things worked. As a reader, I accepted he’d done his homework, since I didn’t have any idea how cops operated in a totally different culture. Lots of corruption going on.

Then there was me, with my current-day, small town police force.

All in all, the moderator did a good job of asking questions that let us talk about the topic while keeping our answers related to our books, since this was a reader’s conference, not one focused on the ins and outs of doing the writing.

Audience questions were also relevant and fun, especially the one about why I set my book in a made up town. My answer was basically, “Because if I set it in a real town, I have to get everything right.” I went on to explain the problems I had writing Nowhere to Hide, which is set in Orlando, where I was living at the time.

But perhaps the best part of the panel for me was when the moderator said he’d read one of my books and was impressed with how I’d nailed the police procedures, and that he thought I’d done a wonderful job with my characterizations and descriptions.

The only panel I attended that was more geared for authors was one on marketing, and how much there is to do, and how much it can cost. I think most of us in the audience were taken aback by the marketing professional who said how much we should be spending on a book launch. (Note: I won’t be spending close to that figure.)

We don’t get into politics here at TKZ, but I’m merely reporting on what happened. There were a lot of apologies given to attendees from Canada.

In presentations given by the Guest of Honor, Sara Paretsky, she said she had almost called to cancel her attendance but decided she had to come, and prayed that there were enough air traffic controllers on the job for her flight. I have to say, she’s pulled me out of my writing slump. She feels as terrible, angry, and scared about the current situation in our country, but she said it’s important for us to keep our voices out there so we’re not giving in. When I finished writing Danger Abroad, (Available for preorder!) I wasn’t sure I could write another book, but now I’m back at the keyboard.

And speaking of being back at the keyboard, I decided the next book would be another Mapleton Mystery, the 10th novel in that series. In getting started, I realized my brain couldn’t handle a months-long hiatus while I was writing Danger Abroad, which is a Blackthorne, Inc. novel. When I started writing the new book, it took almost a full page before I realized that I was writing from Angie’s POV, not Gordon’s. Had to fix it. Luckily, it was only one page that needed fixing, and I’m an author. I know how to do that.

OK, TKZers. The floor is yours.

New! Find me at Substack with Writings and Wanderings

Danger Abroad

When breaking family ties is the only option.

Madison Westfield has information that could short-circuit her politician father’s campaign for governor. But he’s family. Although he was a father more in word than deed, she changes her identity and leaves the country rather than blow the whistle.

Blackthorne, Inc. taps Security and Investigations staffer, Logan Bolt, to track down Madison Westfield. When he finds her in the Faroe Islands, her story doesn’t match the one her father told Blackthorne. The investigation assignment quickly switches to personal protection for Madison.

Soon, they’re involved with a drug ring and a kidnapping attempt. Will working together put them in more danger? Can a budding relationship survive the dangers they encounter?

Available for pre-order.

Like bang for your buck? I have a new Mapleton Bundle. Books 4, 5, and 6 for one low price.

Terry Odell is an award-winning author of Mystery and Romantic Suspense, although she prefers to think of them all as “Mysteries with Relationships.”

The Female of the Species

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Medea – public domain

Today’s post is an excerpt from my upcoming book, The Villain’s Journey – How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate (publication Summer 2025).

In 1911, Rudyard Kipling wrote: “The female of the species is more deadly than the male.”

From ancient times to contemporary novels, memorable women villains back up his statement.

How do female villains differ from male villains?

The most obvious is physical size and strength. Although there are kick-ass women who can bench press more than their own weight, females generally have smaller builds and are lighter in weight. Instead of brute force often used by their male counterparts, female villains rely more on brains, strategy, cunning, deceit, and manipulation to achieve their goals.

Statistically, men commit more crimes than women. Per the FBI in 2019, males were charged for 72.5% of overall crimes while females accounted for 27.5%. Generally, males account for more violent crimes (78.9%), although female violent offenses are trending up. Women’s crimes tend more toward larceny and theft offenses (42.6%).

Good news for female villains: women tend to receive more lenient sentences than men. According to 2012 research by Sonja B. Starr, University of Michigan Law School, found that, controlling for the crime, “men receive 63% longer sentences on average than women do,” and “[w]omen are…twice as likely to avoid incarceration if convicted.”

Let’s take a look at several classifications of female villains:

 The Power Behind the Throne – Through history, smart, daring, ambitious female villains allied themselves with powerful men. Although they stayed in the background, they manipulated the strings of the male figurehead puppet.

Medea is a Greek tragedy written by Euripides, first performed in 431 BCE. Medea is a ruthless princess and sorceress with divine powers who helps Jason steal the Golden Fleece to secure his royal position. However, when Jason is unfaithful to her, to strike back at him, Medea murders their own children.

Despite the horrific crime, capricious Greek gods spared her from punishment. She goes on to marry again.

In The Tragedy of Macbeth, Shakespeare’s play originally performed in 1623, the ambitious Lady Macbeth cajoles, belittles, and shames her husband into murder to attain the Scottish throne. Despite her ruthlessness, she still has a human conscience. Although she didn’t commit murders, she instigated them, and her hands are bloody. She sleepwalks at night, mumbling about killings. No matter how much she scrubs she can’t wash invisible bloodstains from her hands. “Out, damned spot, out, I say!”

For Lady Macbeth, the price of being the power behind the throne is too high and she kills herself.

The Femme Fatale– In the Bible, Salome danced for King Herod, who was so taken by her that he granted her request for the head of John the Baptist on a platter. She exemplifies the trope of beautiful women who use allure, mystery, and seduction to gain power and control over males.

Hard-boiled authors James M. Cain, Dashiell Hammett, Raymond Chandler, and other pulp writers popularized the sultry, manipulative female who captivates a male character then leads him to doom. She convinces the man to commit a crime. Afterward, she often leaves him to take the fall.

Cora in The Postman Always Rings Twice (James M. Cain, 1934, Knopf) owns a diner with her much older husband Nick. When a handsome drifter arrives on scene, he and Cora have a passionate affair that leads to Nick’s murder and ultimately catastrophe for the lovers.

The bestselling novel has been adapted to sizzling film versions with actors Lana Turner and John Garfield in 1946, and with Jessica Lange and Jack Nicholson in 1981.

In Double Indemnity, also by Cain (originally serialized in 1936 in Liberty Magazine), a conniving wife Phyllis wants to get rid of her husband for the insurance money. She mesmerizes insurance agent Walter into agreeing to murder. After they kill the husband, the company is suspicious and withholds payment, dooming the adulterers.

In the 1944 film, the characters are memorably played by Barbara Stanwyck and Fred MacMurray.

In The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett (1930, Knopf), Brigid O’Shaughnessy is a seductive fortune seeker who hires private detective Sam Spade under false pretenses. Her true quest is the Maltese Falcon, a gold, bejeweled statue disguised under black enamel. She leads him on a merry chase through a journey of violence and murder.

Although Spade succumbs to Brigid’s wiles he recognizes her duplicity and ultimately turns her into the police for murder.

The 1941 film version starred Humphrey Bogart, Mary Astor, Peter Lorre, and Sydney Greenstreet, and is hailed among the greatest movies of all time.

Financial gain and independence are often the motivations for femme fatales. They exploit their sexuality to manipulate men into helping them. But their behavior comes with a steep price—life on the run, prison, or death.

By the latter part of the 20th century, the female villain takes power into her own hands, not depending on a proxy male to achieve her desires.

 The Tyrant – Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey (1962) exerts total control over the inmates in a mental asylum. Under her calm, serene demeanor, she is a vicious sadist who punishes anyone who defies her. In the 1975 film, Oscar winner Louise Fletcher etched the bland yet terrifying character in public consciousness.

Kathy Bates as Annie Wilkes
Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

Annie Wilkes in Stephen King’s Misery (1987) is another plain, middle-aged woman hiding a vicious heart. Kathy Bates brought the role of “number one fan” to life.

 Lady Psychopaths – In the 1992 film Basic Instinct, Sharon Stone plays Catherine Trammel, a brilliant psychopathic author who seduces both men and women. Her lovers wind up stabbed to death with an ice pick. Since the murders are eerily similar to those described in her bestselling novels, she becomes the prime suspect. She enjoys playing cat and mouse with the police, teasing and taunting them, and deftly maneuvers her way out of conviction. The chilling end of the movie leaves no doubt that she intends to continue her pattern.

For a fresh take on a psychopath, I recommend the 2019 novel My Sister, The Serial Killer by Nigerian author Oynkan Braithwaite. Family loyalty forces a conscientious woman to cover up her younger sister’s crimes. The thriller is a fascinating study of manipulation by a narcissist who is more distressed by her melting ice cream cone than the terrible harm she causes others.

Mean Girls– Around puberty in real life, the “mean girl phenomenon” often appears. Adolescent young women develop razor-like tongues to shred their victims and perfectly manicured claws to eviscerate them. They form packs, also known as cliques, where they band together to humiliate victims, cornering them to belittle their appearance, clothes, makeup, lack of popularity, and other petty issues. They often turn on each other—their best friend can change to their worst enemy in the blink of an eyelash extension.

Examples in contemporary fiction include the girls who mercilessly bully Carrie in Stephen King’s novel; Pretty Little Liars, a YA series by Sara Shepherd; Dare Me by Meg Abbott.

~~~

Is Kipling right that the female of the species is more deadly than the male?

TKZers, what’s your verdict?

~~~

In the comments, please nominate your favorite female villain of all time and why she’s memorable.

If your own work features a female villain, please share the details with us.

~~~

Cover by Brian Hoffman

 

Jerome Kobayashi’s roots go deep in his cherry orchard on Montana’s Flathead Lake where his wife’s ashes are buried. He refuses to sell his land, but a female billionaire won’t take no for an answer.

Meet my latest female villain in Fruit of the Poisonous Tree. FREE today on Kindle.

Link

To be notified when The Villain’s Journey is published, please sign up for my mailing list. 

The Power of Words – And Writing Contests

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“But words are things, and a small drop of ink,
Falling like dew, upon a thought, produces
That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think.” — Lord Byron

* * *

I was asked to say a few words at the upcoming Memphis Public Libraries Richard Wright Literary Awards ceremony later this week. The awards contest is for authors who live in and around Memphis, and the ceremony is held in the main library.

I came up with several thoughts, but finally settled on a theme about the power of words. The basic text of the talk is shown below (with the intro, the joke, and the conclusion removed.) I’d be interested to get your thoughts.

* * *

It has been said that the pen is mightier than the sword. Nathaniel Hawthorne famously said that words in a dictionary are innocent and powerless, but “how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them.”

Perhaps the most striking statement about the power of words is in the first book of the Bible, where we read the very first words that God utters when He says, “Let there be light.” I’m not a theologian, but I suspect those words mean more than just the creation of photons. After all, light is frequently used as a metaphor for wisdom, knowledge, and understanding, and those are characteristics that move mankind from ignorance to awareness, and that kind of light is usually conveyed through the power of words.

In this room, there are authors who come from different backgrounds, who write different genres, and who have different stories to tell. And yet, with all our differences, we have one thing in common. We’ve been given the gift of words, and we want those words to shine light into the darker corners of our world. To touch people’s lives, to make them laugh or cry, to make them think, to inspire and challenge our readers.

These are lofty goals. To meet them, our writing needs to achieve a certain level of excellence, but unfortunately, we can’t judge the quality of our own work. For that, we need knowledgeable people to read our stories and give us honest, unbiased feedback. That’s where writing awards contests come into play.

It’s through writing contests like this one that we begin to understand how well our writing stacks up against the work of other authors. Competition is good. It’s an incentive for us to improve, to raise the bar, to make the next book better than the last.

My husband and I have both been fortunate to have won a Richard Wright award, and we believe the Memphis Public Libraries Awards contest is one of best there is. After all, what better award contest could there be than one where the judges are members of a library staff and volunteers who spend much of their lives among books? And what better place to celebrate the accomplishments of a group of writers than in a library?

You’re all finalists in the Richard Wright Literary Award competition. You’ve cleared a major hurdle, and you deserve recognition for your achievement. To be a finalist for a Richard Wright award is not only affirmation about the quality of your work, but it’s also a chance to honor the legacy of Mr. Wright.

Whatever the outcome of the awards, let’s also remember that we’re here to share our journey with our colleagues, to reach out to new writers, and to build the community of authors in Memphis. Congratulations and good luck to all!

* * *

So TKZers: What are your thoughts about the power of the written word? Do you think awards contests are valuable? Unbiased feedback is always welcome.

* * *

 

 Coming Soon!

The Other Side of Sunshine
A Middle Grade Mystery

When spunky ten-year-old Reen learns of a hidden treasure in her quiet university town, she enlists the help of her shy nine-year-old cousin Joanie to help her find the loot. They form the R&J Detective Agency and follow clues through dictionaries, microfiche machines, and all around the campus. But Reen’s arch-nemesis Alicia is looking for the treasure too, and she’s not playing by the rules.

 

 

Write Like Melted Butter

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by James Scott Bell
@jamesscottbell

Back in the day (and for you kids, when an author of my vintage uses “back in the day” that’s a bit further than when The Big Bang Theory was a hit) there was a TV commercial for Thomas’ English Muffins. A narrator extolled the benefits of said breadstuff, then a smiling kid held one up and said, “And lots of nooks and crannies to hold the melted butter!”

I salute the ad man who came up with this line, because back in that same day the federal gummint guidelines had butter on its dietary hit list. Bosh, thought the ad man. That smooth, warm taste of liquified gold coating the taste buds is the most enjoyable part of this culinary treat.

Which is how I think about style in fiction. When the prose has nooks and crannies of “unobtrusive poetry” (as the great John D. MacDonald put it) my reading pleasure buds pop with delight and I am likely to search out more offerings from that writer.

Which brings me to the subject of metaphors and similes. They are the melted butter of prose.

For example, Raymond Chandler would have been just another detective fiction scribbler were it not for the magic of his style. Here are a few of my favorites:

It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window. (Farewell, My Lovely)  

I lit a cigarette. It tasted like a plumber’s handkerchief. (Farewell, My Lovely)

She lowered her lashes until they almost cuddled her cheeks and slowly raised them again, like a theatre curtain. (The Big Sleep)

Here are some from other authors:

All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances. (Shakespeare, As You Like It)

“Sit down, Montag. Watch. Delicately, like the petals of a flower. Light the first page, light the second page. Each becomes a black butterfly. Beautiful, eh?” (Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451)

She faced the children’s mother, a young woman in slacks, whose face was as broad and innocent as a cabbage and was tied around with a green head-kerchief that had two points on the top like a rabbit’s ears. (Flannery O’Connor, “A Good Man is Hard to Find”)

She was the third beer. Not the first one, which the throat receives with almost tearful gratitude; nor the second, that confirms and extends the pleasure of the first. But the third, the one you drink because it’s there, because it can’t hurt, and because what difference does it make? (Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon)

I shall now lay down the rule (yes, I said it) for metaphors and similes: they must be in the words that the viewpoint character would actually say or think. If they are not, it is no longer unobtrusive. It’ll stick out like a garlic breath burp at a dinner party. (Hey, not bad.)

There is only one exception to this rule, and that is if the voice of the author is the selling point, the raison d’etre of the book’s allure. Old-school Omniscient POV (e.g., Dickens) had it. So did the post-realist novels of the 60s and 70s (e.g., Vonnegut, Pynchon). Almost always it is found in comic novels, e.g., Douglas Adams, and most abundantly in the writing of the late Tom Robbins. You read his books for the flights of literary fancy, the voice of mushroom-laced, hippie-dipped, Zen-flavored farce:

Every toilet bowl gurgled like an Italian tenor with a mouthful of Lavoris, and the refrigerators made noises at night like buffalo grazing. (Jitterbug Perfume)

Like a neon fox tongue lapping up the powdered bones of space chickens, the Rising Sun licked away at the light snow that had fallen during the night. (Skinny Legs and All)

It was as if the dishwater, as gray and oily as a mobster’s haircut, washed away his arrogant confusion. (Skinny Legs and All)

So how can you find your own melted butter? Wide reading of authors who do this well is, of course, a given. In addition, I offer a couple of writing exercises to expand your style muscle. Note, this means you do the heavy lifting in your own brain; it can’t be handed to you by a machine. It’s fun, costs nothing, and will improve all of your writing.

People Pegging

Go to a public place—a park, a coffeehouse, a mall—and people watch. Home in on someone for a few seconds, then write in your notebook the following:

  1. He walks like a __________
  2. If he were an animal, he’d be a ____________
  3. His mood is the color of a ___________

Detail Digging

Wherever you are, pick a random item within your sight—pen, cough drop, lip balm, glasses, book, cup. Then:

  1. Write five things this item reminds you of.
  2. How would an advanced-race alien describe this item?
  3. Imagine this item appearing in your novel. From your Lead character’s POV, write three metaphors—one based on sight, one on touch, and one on smell.

Spend just an hour doing one or both of these exercises and you will actually feel your style improving.

Which is so worth it. Raymond Chandler would have told you that. This observation was found in one of his notebooks after his death:

“Without magic, there is no art. Without art, there is no idealism. Without idealism, there is no integrity. Without integrity, there is nothing but production.”

Don’t just produce. Monkeys can do that. AI is doing it now. Who cares?

Bring a little magic to your prose.

Write like melted butter.

Do you think about style when you write and/or edit? Do you search out fresh metaphors and similes? Do you love it when a writer is able to pull off “unobtrusive poetry”?

Dialogue Words of Wisdom

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Along with narrative, dialogue is the lifeblood of fiction, and today’s Words of Wisdom presents advice on this crucial subject. First, Elaine Viets offers tips on writing realistic dialogue. Then, Joddie Renner gives advice on dialogue tags. Finally, James Scott Bell presents a terrific “random dialogue exercise” to take our dialogue in unexpected directions. The original posts are date-linked from their respective excerpts. Afterwards, I’ll have a few questions as additional fodder for today’s discussion.

(1) Listen to How People Talk

Go to a bar, restaurant or a coffee shop or a McDonald’s and listen to conversations. I love to eavesdrop on conversations. They help me pick up the rhythm of real speech – and sometimes I hear things I can use. Like the man at the bar who talked to his friend about how to kill his wife. They discussed various fatal scenarios until he finally concluded that he should “accidently” push her radio off the shelf into water when she was in the tub. I was about to call the police when I realized the two men were plotting a novel.

(2) Don’t be too realistic

People say “uh,” and “er” and rarely speak perfectly. They interrupt one another. You need to make your dialogue believable without making it absolutely realistic.

(3) Beware of stereotypes and accents

If your character speaks with an accent, point it out for a sentence or two: He spoke with a heavy Russian accent – but don’t make your readers wade through it for pages.

(4) Cut the small talk

You don’t need all those hellos and good-byes. Normally, they add nothing to the story. If your scene starts with a wife coming home from work and it begins this way:

“Hi,” she said.

“How are you?” he asked. “How was your day?”

Skip the hellos and start with “How was your day?” And let us know if the couple kiss. That could be a key to their marriage.

(5) Break up the dialogue with action

If two characters are talking over breakfast, have them pour syrup on their pancakes, sugar their coffee and cut up their bacon between sentences.

(6) Avoid dialogue tags

She sputtered. He chortled. She raged. He observed. She exclaimed. He interjected. She purred. These are all dialogue tags. Now forget them.

Dialogue tags attribute a line of dialogue to one or other of the characters, so that the reader always knows who is speaking. Tags should be invisible.

All you need are “he said” and “she asked.”

(7) Avoid the “You know, Jim,” syndrome

That’s an information dump disguised as regular dialogue: “You know, Jim, if you want a tax break, equipment that qualifies for the Residential Renewable Energy Tax Credit includes solar, wind, geothermal and fuel-cell technology.” Nobody talks like that in casual conversation – not even a salesperson.

Elaine Viets—March 11, 2019

 

1. Avoid overusing dialogue tags. Instead of constantly using he said or she said (or the name and said), replace them often with action beats, which will also help bring the scene alive:

He closed the door very quietly. Too late.

She stood there, hands on hips. “Where’ve you been?”

“Don’t start.” He took off his coat and hung it up.

The action immediately before or after the words tells us who’s talking.

Or, if it can be done without confusing the readers, just leave out the dialogue tag or action beat. Context often makes it obvious who’s speaking.

2. The best dialogue tags are the simple he said and she said (or asked), or with the name: John said, Carol said. These simple dialogue tags don’t draw attention to themselves or interrupt the story line, as they’re almost invisible. Avoid fancy tags like queried, chortled, alleged, proclaimed, conjectured, affirmed, etc., which can be distracting. But I do suggest using verbs that accurately and quickly describe how the words are delivered, like whispered, shouted, yelled, screamed, or stammered.

3. You can’t use words like laughed or grinned or smiled or grimaced or scowled as dialogue tags.

These are both incorrect:

“You look great,” he grinned.
“Why, thank you,” she smiled.

Why don’t they work? Because smiling is not talking; you can’t “smile” or “grin” words.
Change to:

“You look great,” he said, grinning.
“Why, thank you.” She smiled at the compliment. (Note period and capital “She”)
Or “Why, thank you,” she said, then smiled at him.

4. Use adverbs very sparingly.

Avoid:
“I’m sorry,” she said apologetically.
“Come here,” he said imperiously.
“I’m in charge,” she said haughtily.

Instead, make sure the words they’re saying and any actions convey the feelings you wish to express.

5. Off-topic, but do not put quotation marks around thoughts. That’s a topic for another post.

 TWO CURRENT STYLE TRENDS (Jodie’s observations):

  1. Contemporary North American fiction seems to avoid the reversed form, “said Carol”, in favor of “Carol said.” The reversed form seems to be more British and also considered kind of archaic, which makes it great for historical fiction.
  2. Most contemporary North American fiction writers, with the notable exception of Lee Child, seem to put most dialogue tags after the words spoken:

“Let’s go,” Tony said.

Rather than before:

Tony said, “Let’s go.”

These last two points are of course just my observations of common usage, not rules. But aspiring or debut authors would do well to stick with what seems to be in favor, to give a contemporary feel to your novel. Of course, if you’re writing historical fiction, go for the older “said Elizabeth” form.

Jodie Renner—June 19, 2014

Here’s a little exercise I teach in my workshops: take one of your dialogue-heavy scenes. Go to the middle and select a line at random. Now, pull down a random novel from your shelf. Open to a random page. Flip around until you find some dialogue. Pick one line of that dialogue.

NOW: substitute the line you just read for the line you selected in your scene. THEN: figure out how to justify it!

NEXT: Tweak the line so it fits the character. FINALLY: Rewrite the rest of the scene. Do this as a way to create or explore deeper levels of story or character. You may end up not using the dialogue line itself, but you will have opened up new vistas in your story and given your imagination a chance to play.

But if you do use the line, here is a big benefit: It creates a surprise for the reader. And surprise is the greatest page-turning prompt of all. Predictability is dull. So throw the reader off every now and then with something out of the blue.

Another benefit: you can use this exercise whenever you hit bad old writer’s block. Don’t know where your story is going? Having trouble plotting the next few scenes? Not sure who a character is? Try this exercise and get the mental pistons firing again.

Here’s a clip from my current WIP:

“Isn’t the view gorgeous?” she said.

“You better get right to it,” Dylan said, “because this is the last time we meet.”

“You can’t mean that.”

“I’m prepared to walk away.”

“I don’t think so, dear.”

“Watch me.”

“You haven’t even seen what I have.”

“I don’t care—”

“Or heard.”

“Heard?”

“So many things. You can be happy. We can be happy.”

“Look, you’re sick and you need help.”

“Don’t—”

“I know people. I can get you help.”

Now I perform the exercise. I’ll show you what I came up with using four very different novels off my shelf.

Using a line from An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser (1925):

“Or heard.”

“Heard?”

“So many things. You can be happy. We can be happy.”

“Look, you’re sick and you need help.”

“Oh, it doesn’t amount to anything, really. We just quarrel, that’s all, once in awhile.”

From The Gods Themselves by Isaac Asimov (1972):

“Or heard.”

“Heard?”

“So many things. You can be happy. We can be happy.”

“Look, you’re sick and you need help.”

“Sexually?”

From The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett (1929):

“Or heard.”

“Heard?”

“So many things. You can be happy. We can be happy.”

“Look, you’re sick and you need help.”

“Yeah, she had it tucked under her arm when she paid me.”

From L.A. Requiem by Robert Crais (1999):

“Or heard.”

“Heard?”

“So many things. You can be happy. We can be happy.”

“Look, you’re sick and you need help.”

“Well, we’re going to find out, but right now we’ve got a maniac to get off the street.”

Well now! Each one of these lines takes us in a different direction, doesn’t it?

The first one gets me thinking along the lines of Psycho, and multiple personalities.

The second one gives me a whole new aspect of character.

The third one is so obscure I have to do some more cogitating. I try to figure out why this woman would have been paid, and by whom. That’s a whole new plot point! That she could be working with someone. So I spend a few minutes jotting down ideas about that. Also, what did this mystery woman have tucked under her arm?

Since I’m writing a thriller, the last example really got my imagination scrambling. Which is, of course, the point of this exercise.

If I decide to use one of these lines, I’ll tweak it to make it consistent with the character’s voice.

But, after all this, I may just go back to the way I had it before. But wouldn’t that be wasted effort? Far from it! Because the writer’s mind is always stronger after this kind of workout—lithe, supple, and ready for action … hmm, maybe I should write a romance.

But not now, because I’m in the middle of my WIP and I’ve got a maniac to get off the street.

James Scott Bell—May 21, 2017

***

  1. What do you think of Elaine’s advice on making dialogue realistic? Any additions to her tips?
  2. How do you handle dialogue tags?
  3. What do you think of Jim’s random dialogue exercise? Is this something you’ll try? (I certainly will.)
  4. Any general advice on making dialogue more effective and engaging?

The Unexpected Sells

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In the March/April 2025 issue of Writer’s Digest, there’s an interesting article titled The Unexpected Sells. The subtitle is Why Agents Want Genre-Defying Stories. It opens with, “In an industry built on tradition, the rise of genre-blending and trope-defying manuscripts is not just a trend but a potential goldmine for aspiring authors”.

There may be some truth to this statement. A year or so ago, I posted a piece on the Kill Zone called Slipstream — A unique, Hybrid Fiction Cross-Genre. It opened with “…I’m intentionally breaking all the rules.”

There was definitely some truth to that statement, but that’s okay as the film rights to my City Of Danger project are secured, and it’s moving toward production. Now it’s a matter of waiting till the delivery technology is in place. That might be two years away.

I moved from the true crime and crime fiction slots where I’d been working. Part of it was a urge to try something new, and part of it was a hunch not to play it safe and maybe, just maybe, reinvent the wheel. God knows I’d be a disaster in writing romance or erotica, but I went down a road filled with bumps of hardboiled & noir detective fiction, lumps of futuristic sci-fi, potholes of 1920s nostalgia, and a dangerous curve of time travelling thriller/suspense.

It was weird enough to catch, not the eye of a publishing agent, but the ear of a film producer. However, they have similar interests, and that’s finding new material they can sell – hopefully, safely. “Something different, but not to different,” are words I have heard. City Of Danger seems to have met the “different” test.

Writer’s Digest goes on to say, “Clearly defined genres have long dominated the publishing landscape, each catering to specific audiences. These days, a shift is underway. Readers now yearn for stories as intricate and multi-leveled as their lives—stories that refuse to be confined to a single category. This thirst for originality has paved the way for genre-defying narratives to shine.”

The WD article gives examples of recent successful stories that shun predictable formulas. These are authors and titles I’m not familiar with, but they’ve “balanced innovation and execution”. Helpfully, WD addresses the challenges of writing hybrid narratives and principles of positioning the work.

In closing, WD says, “It’s time to take the risks. The unexpected sells because it surprises, delights, and connects. So, dare to be different. Today’s market isn’t just ready for genre-defying stories—it’s hungry for them.”

Here are two shots of the article. You might be able to save them to a larger screen or you might want to buy the magazine if you already haven’t.

Kill Zoners — Thoughts?

Copy Edits

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By John Gilstrap

First, look up norovirus. As I write this, I am in the throes of my second day, and that explains why this will be a short post.

It might not sound like it when I’m done, but I really do have a lot of respect for copy editors. Their eye for detail and knowledge of the rules of grammar have improved every manuscript I’ve ever submitted. For my Grave series, Jeffery Lindholm has been my copy editor for at least the past four or five books. He knows the characters and remembers details from previous stories that might conflict with actions in the current story. That kind of interaction is truly remarkable. He’s part of the team, as opposed to the traffic cop that some copy editors can become–the folks who go out of their way to try to catch the author is an error that often does not exist.

Prior locking Jeff to my manuscripts, I dealt with a number annoying copy editors. One changed my sentence that “Jonathan holstered his Colt 1911” to “Jonathan holstered his Colt M1911A1 semiautomatic pistol.” Not inaccurate, but not what I wanted. The most egregious copy edit ever–and I’m sure I’ve written of it here–came from Rosemary, who changed “Jonathan looked at the door the the kid came through” to “Jonathan looked at the door whence the kid had come.” Whence. In a thriller. That’s a hard no.

About a week ago, I received the copy edits on a short story that I did for an upcoming anthology, and these edits trod new ground. In DIALOGUE . . .

Changed “Maybe we should call Triple-A” to “Maybe we should call AAA.” and

“That rifle looks like a three hundred win-mag” to “That rifle looks like a .300 Win-mag.”

In my worldview, dialogue is literally quoted speech, as it is heard. People would call AA for Alcoholics Anonymous, and Triple-A for the auto club. No one would ever refer to a rifle as a dot three-oh-oh win mag.

What do you think?

Okay, I’ve been up for an hour now. Time to go back to bed and sleep for three. Here’s hoping for a better tomorrow.

Tuning Up Your Second Fiddles

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Believe: 'Ted Lasso' fourth season confirmed by Apple | FOX 7 Austin

By PJ Parrish

It was early in my days as a mystery writer, and I thought I pretty much knew everything.

My first book got a really nice send-off from the great team at Kensington Books. The second book got an Edgar nomination. The third book in our Louis Kincaid series landed my co-author sister and me on the extended New York Times bestseller list.

I’m telling you this not to brag. But as a cautionary tale. Let’s keep going.

Then came book four, Thicker Than Water. From the start, my sister had reservations about it. I still remember what she said to one day when we were about 45,000 words into the first draft.  “It’s too….quiet,” she said.

She couldn’t quite articulate much more than that, it was just a feeling she had about the story. No one is murdered in present time; Louis is trying to solve a very cold case of a young woman’s death. The plot revolves around the dispicable man convicted of her murder, now out of prison, and two lawyers — one who put him behind bars and the other who died, knowing that he didn’t do much to prevent that. It is twisty, talky, and haunted by regret. Action took a rumbleseat to character. So yeah, it was a “quiet” book.

But that wasn’t the real problem. The problem was we let Louis get overshadowed by everyone else. He was the hero, yet we allowed the large cast of very colorful secondary characters to push him out of the spotlight while they strutted and fretted their grand hours on the stage.

Secondary characters are important. They can — and should — be a vital part of your story. No story can survive without them because they exist to support your protag and help propel the plot.

They are sounding boards, helpmates, or sidekicks. Iconic examples abound in crime fiction: Watson to Holmes, Cletus Purcel to Dave Robicheaux. Archie Goodwin to Rex Stout. Rocky to Jim Rockford.

They provide conflict and obstacles for your protago to overcome. Yes, this is what the antagoist does, but secondary characters can enrich a plot in small but significant ways — ie a police chief who constantly questions a detective’s methods.Captain McKay who dogs Dirty Harry Callahan to distraction.

They can be a love interest or companion. Patrick Kenzie and Angie Gennaro in Dennis Lehane’s series. Siamese cats Koko and Yum Yum in Lilian Jackson Braun’s cozies.

They can be a foil, someone who provides a contrast to your protag. Nick Carraway to Jay Gatsby. Draco to Harry Potter.

They can be a mentor who helps keep your protag on the right track or see the bigger picture. M and James Bond. Dumbledore and Harry Potter.

As you can see, I’ve been thinking about secondary (and even tertiary) characters a lot. This is because I got hooked on Ted Lasso. Okay, I know it’s annoying to many of you when one of us goes nutso talking about a TV show you haven’t seen. But bear with me. Because I don’t think I have ever seen — or read — anything that does a better job with secondary characters than Ted Lasso. I strongly recommend you watch the series, not just for enjoyment, but for a great lesson in how to create and control a large cast of memorable characters.

Quick recap: Ted Lasso is a Kansas football coach who is hired to strategically tank a failing English soccer club. As head coach, he inherits a miserable quarrelsome team and an owner whose only goal is to punish her ex-husband by sabotaging his ex-team.

Digression: I thought Ted was a titular protag. But he’s actually a eponymous one. Jane Eyre = eponymous. The Man Who Would Be King = titular. Just saying…

The plot of Ted Lasso superficially revolves around the question of whether a guy who doesn’t know a red card from Red Bull can turn the franchise around. But the real drama comes from all the intricate and intertwined relationships and the paths of their individual character arcs. The show is about empathy, kindness, and human connection even as it tackles dark topics like mental health, addiction, and divorce with sensitivity and nuance. To say nothing about the chasms between fathers and sons.

Ted is the main guy. No doubt about that. As great secondary character Kathy Bates Libby Holden says in Primary Colors of the presidential candidate and his wife: “The Stantons are my sun. I lived my life drawing light and warmth from them.”

So it is with those in Ted’s orbit.

The show excels at crafting compelling secondary characters by giving them distinct personalities, personal growth arcs, and allowing them to drive storylines, even when not the main focus, creating a rich and relatable ensemble cast.

Ted is a classic fish out of the water, at soccer and his own life. But as the series goes on, Ted learns about his sport and the people around him, and starts to deal with his failing marriage, his anxiety and his father issues.

But as I said, every character in Ted Lasso has a unique personality, background and an important role in the story. Which brings us back to what we all, as writers, can learn from our second fiddles. Things to look for as you write:

Ted Lasso's Brett Goldstein Denies Roy Kent Is CGI: “I Am a Human Man” | Vanity Fair

Personal Growth Arcs
The secondary characters in Ted Lasso undergo significant personal growth throughout the series, developing new skills and changing their perspectives. Has-been soccer star Roy Kent is angry and unlikeable, but learns to let go of crippling grudges, forgive his enemies and himself.

ted lasso nate season 2

Storyline Contributions
Secondary characters are not just background players. They often drive storylines and influence the main characters’ journeys. Team towel boy Nathan Shelley is ignored by the team and derided by his father, until he gets a chance to help coach. And become an unlikely plot catalyst.

Ted Lasso' Star Hannah Waddingham Says Ted's Homemade Biscuits Are Actually Gross - TheWrap

Relatable Characters
The show focuses on creating characters that viewers can relate to, even if they are flawed or struggling. Team owner Rebecca Welton comes across as cunning and cold, hellbent only on destroying her ex. Her arc is redemption and atonement as she overcomes her loneliness to become a confident leader of men.

That’s just a few of the folks I came to love and root for. When I finally finished bingeing on the series, I felt exhilarated and sad, like I was saying goodbye to my family and best friends. Shoot, I admit it: I cried like a baby. Can there be any greater compliment to a writer?

One last note about my book Thicker Than Water. To this day, it remains one of my favorite books in my modest oeuvre. Because I love the people in the story. And because my sister finally, in the eleventh hour, figured out how to make it less “quiet.”

I spoke earlier about how, if you, the writer, are not careful, your second fiddles can out-perform your first chair. You have to find that fine line beween creating a vivid cast and not letting them take over. That is what happened to us. And worse, we took the gun out of Louis’s hand. We didn’t let him solve the case. We left it up to happenstance.

But…

In the second draft, Kelly found a way to put the gun back in Louis’s hand. So it was with Ted Lasso. He’s been running away from fatherhood for years, acting as dad to an entire team of grown men rather than the boy who needs him most. In the end, damn everyone else, he does what he has to do.

Keep writing, diamond dogs. And guess what? Ted Lasso is coming back for a new season.

 

Feed The Writer

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My guest today is a dear friend and a fantastic writer. I’ve been glued to the pages of more than one of her novels. Jan Sikes is a multi-award-winning author, who writes compelling and creative stories from the heart. Please help me welcome her to the Kill Zone.

Welcome, Jan!

Greetings, everyone. I am thrilled to be a guest in the Kill Zone today! Thank you, Sue, for inviting me.

My subject today serves as a reminder to feed the reader within each of us. We spend hours upon hours doing research, plotting, developing characters, and writing our stories. We write, rewrite, proofread, and edit day in and day out, sometimes around the clock and into the next day without a break. But are we remembering to feed ourselves, to give ourselves the nourishment we need to stay strong and alert at those tasks? And I’m not talking about food.

If you’ve gone more than a couple of weeks without reading for pleasure, pick up a book. Find a recent novel from a favorite author or try an unfamiliar author. Whichever you choose, allow yourself to get lost in the story, in the rhythms of good fiction.

Read a couple of mysteries without trying to figure out whodunit or how the author wove the plot threads together. Get lost in a love story and allow yourself to cry. Read a horror or suspense novel and give in to the goose bumps.

Writers and editors who only work at the craft but don’t enjoy reading, do not bring their best efforts to their work. When you’re not being fed a steady diet, you’re eventually not going to produce your best work.

Readers need to read.

That’s also true for writers and editors. It’s a fabulous way to slip into a fictional world for relief from stress and pressure and even from the monotony of repetition and habits in daily life. Life can be great with no need to escape. That doesn’t mean relaxing with a book, diving into the worlds of fascinating characters, can’t make it even better.

I’ve always been an avid reader and most always have a book open on my Kindle. But when I go too long without getting lost in someone else’s story, I get antsy and even a little grouchy. I need my story fix.

I require a steady diet of fiction. I need to imagine, to explore, pretend and fantasize. It is essential to feed myself everything that good stories dish up—emotional upheaval and uncertainty, conflict, danger, adventure, and definitely the satisfaction of a solid resolution that neatly ties up dozens of the story elements that have entertained me and held my attention for however many pages the book has.

If you’ve been working hard on a project—maybe even promising yourself that you’ll read something as soon as you get through with this next section or problem—allow yourself the time to read and immerse yourself in someone else’s imagination.

Don’t keep putting it off.

Feed yourself well-written books that prove nutritious, that give you the stamina to keep working. Feed yourself something sweet, or something evil—something that gets you excited about stories and what-ifs.

Ingest and digest food for the soul and mind and spirit. Reading equates to food for dreaming. Food that will give you strength for the long haul.

Reading gives your mind a break. It can revitalize your writing and allow you to smash through blocks and problem areas. Read to remind yourself of the joy in fiction. Read because it gives you pleasure. Let reading both relax and energize you.

Take a new book—tonight or tomorrow or this weekend—and jump into its world, stretching your imagination as you become the hero, sidekick or even the villain. Use the mental stimulation and otherworldliness of unfamiliar places to draw you deep. Let a story you didn’t have to create take over your thoughts so you can experience characters, their adventures, and their world from the inside, using your senses and emotions. Project yourself into an imaginative scenario that has zero connections to your writing process.

Fill yourself up with the good stuff so you can write and edit some good stuff of your own.

Jan Sikes is a multi-award-winning author, who writes compelling and creative stories from the heart.

She openly admits that she never set out in life to be an author, although she’s been an avid reader all her life. But she had a story to tell—Not just any story, but a true story to rival any fiction creation. She brought the entertaining true story to life through fictitious characters in an intricately woven tale that encompasses four books, accompanying music CDs, and a book of poetry and art.

And now, this author can’t put down the pen. She continues to write fiction in a variety of genres, and has published many award-winning short stories and novels. Learn more about Jan at: www.jansikes.com

 

A true testament of character, resilience, and the magic of never giving up.

“This is a hope-filled story that lifts spirits and elicits smiles. Though it is the second book of the series, it can be read as a standalone. I highly recommend it.” ~ Gwen Plano

Universal Link: https://books2read.com/u/booMQR