Author Archives: Dale Ivan Smith

About Dale Ivan Smith

Dale Ivan Smith is a retired librarian turned full-time author. He started out writing fantasy and science fiction, including his five-book Empowered series, and has stories in the High Moon, Street Spells, and Underground anthologies, and his collection, Rules Concerning Earthlight. He's now following his passion for cozy mysteries and working on the Meg Booker Librarian Mysteries series, beginning with A Shush Before Dying and Book Drop Dead.

Descriptive Words of Wisdom

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If plot is the muscle of your fiction and structure is the bones, description is the skin. Today’s Words of Wisdom takes a look at the “skin” of your story, presenting two superb, longer excerpts from the TKZ archives dealing with description. The first, by James Scott Bell, gives advice on how to help the reader feel your description. The second, by Terry Odell, looks at how to handle character descriptions in both first person and deep third POVs.

You describe a scene not so the reader can see it, but so the reader can feel it. And the way they feel it is by knowing how the point-of -view character feels about it.

That’s why I’ve developed a seven-step checklist for myself for writing a setting description. It takes a little extra time, but I’ve determined that the stylistic ROI (return on investment) is worth it. Here we go:

  1. How do you want your character to feel about the setting?

This is the crucial first step, and it’s a strategic one. You know where you are in your story and what the character’s attitudes and emotional landscape are. You know what’s going to happen in the scene (note to pantsers: you’ve at least got some idea). Now you’re going to set the scene through the character’s perceptions about it. Your decision can be as simple as: I want my character to feel intimidated. 

Note that you don’t have to name the emotion when you write the scene. In fact, it’s better not to. Let the setting itself create the feeling.

  1. Using the sense of sight, describe the things the character notices.

The items that come into your mind will now be filtered through the POV character. If you want to locate a picture via the Internet, go ahead. But as you look at it, pretend you are the character and try to feel what she feels. Make a list of the items your character doesn’t just see, but notices. This is a crucial distinction. We focus on different things depending on our mood. If you’re unhappy and you walk into a sunny hotel foyer, you might ignore the fancy art and notice instead a droopy plant.

Do a little voice journaling. Have the character talk to you in her own voice, expressing her feelings about what she notices.

  1. Use the other senses to add to the feeling.

Imagine what the character might hear, smell, touch, or even in some cases taste. Make a list.

  1. Look at the items from Steps 2 & 3 and highlight the ones that work best.

That didn’t take long, did it? Five to ten minutes. But if you’re having fun, do more!

  1. Bonus Supercharger: What is the character’s personal interpretation of the place?

Here is a powerful technique used by some of our best writers: when the character offers his own interpretation of the setting, it not only creates a sense of place, but also deepens the character for the reader. Double score!

Here are a couple of examples. This is from Robert B. Parker’s first Spenser novel, The Godwulf Manuscript:

The Homicide Division was third floor rear, with a view of the Fryalator vent from the coffee shop in the alley and the soft perfume of griddle and grease mixing with the indigenous smell of cigar smoke and sweat and something else, maybe generations of scared people. 

Parker uses sight and smell, but also adds generations of scared people. That’s from inside Spenser. That’s his own impression of the place. It tells me as much about Spenser as it does the setting.

Here’s a longer impressionistic description from John D. MacDonald’s Travis McGee mystery, The Quick Red Fox. These are McGee’s feelings about San Francisco. (I apologize to all my friends in the City by the Bay!)

And so we drove back to the heart of the city. San Francisco is the most depressing city in America. The comelatelys might not think so. They may be enchanted by the steep streets up Nob and Russian and Telegraph, by the sea mystery of the Bridge over to redwood country on a foggy night, by the urban compartmentalization of Chinese, Spanish, Greek, Japanese, by the smartness of the women and the city’s iron clutch on culture. It might look just fine to the new ones.

But there are too many of us who used to love her. She was like a wild classy kook of a gal, one of those rain-walkers, laughing gray eyes, tousle of dark hair –– sea misty, a little and lively lady, who could laugh at you or with you, and at herself when needs be. A sayer of strange and lovely things. A girl to be in love with, with love like a heady magic.

But she had lost it, boy. She used to give it away, and now she sells it to the tourists. She imitates herself … The things she says now are mechanical and memorized. She overcharges for cynical services.

I think it’s fair to say we know how McGee feels about San Francisco! One of the things that made this series so popular was passages like the above, where McGee riffs on such matters as setting, social mores and current events.

  1. Write the description using active verbs and concrete images.

At this point, let me advise you to overwrite the description. Don’t try to get this perfect the first time through. Feel it first.

  1. Let the scene rest, then edit.

I don’t do heavy edits as I’m writing a first draft. But I do go over my previous day’s work for style and obvious fixes. So come back to your scene the next day, or at least after a time away from it, and keep the following in mind as you edit

James Scott Bell—August 7, 2016

Today’s focus is on dealing with character descriptions in First Person or Deep/Close/Intimate Third (which are almost the same thing.)

I am a deep point of view person. I prefer everything to come from inside the character’s head, However, I will read—and enjoy—books written with a shallower point of view. It all comes down to the way the author handles things.

What are authors trying to convey to their readers with physical character descriptions? The obvious: hair color, length, style to some extent. Eye color. Height, weight, skin color. Moving forward, odds are the character is dressed, so there’s clothing to describe. This is all easier in a distant third POV. Using that POV, you can stop the story for a brief paragraph or two of description, a technique used by John Sandford. In a workshop, he said he didn’t like going into a lot of detail, and listed the basics that he conveys in each book, usually in a single paragraph. Here’s how he describes Lucas Davenport in Chapter 2 of Eyes of Prey, one of his early Davenport books:

Lucas wore a leather bomber jacket over a cashmere sweater, and  khaki slacks and cowboy boots. His dark hair was uncombed and fell forward over a square, hard face, pale with the departing winter. The pallor almost hid the white scar that slashed across his eyebrow and cheek; it became visible only when he clenched his jaw. When he did, it puckered, a groove, whiter on white.

But what if you want to write in deep point of view? Staying inside the character’s head for descriptions is a challenge. Is the following realistic?

Sally rushed down the avenue, her green-and-yellow silk skirt swirling in the breeze, floral chiffon scarf trailing behind her. She adjusted her Oakley sunglasses over her emerald-green eyes. When she reached the door of the office building, she finger combed her short-cropped auburn hair. Her full, red lips curved upward in a smile. 

You’ve covered most of the “I want my readers to see Sally” bases, but be honest. Do you really think of yourself in those terms?

There are other ways to convey that information. First, trust that your reader will be willing to wait for descriptions. Make sure there’s a reason for the character to think about her clothes, or her hair. Maybe she just had a total makeover and isn’t used to the feel of short hair, or the new color, or the makeup job. Catching a glimpse of herself as she passes a mirror and doing a double-take is one of the few times the “Mirror” description could work for me.

Even better, use another character. Some examples of how I’ve handled it:

Here,  an ex-boyfriend has walked into Sarah’s shop and says to her:

“You look like you haven’t slept in a month. And your hair. Why did you cut it?”

“Well, thanks for making my morning.” Sarah fluffed her cropped do-it-yourself haircut. “It’s easier this way.”

Note: there’s no mention of the color. Someone else can bring it up later. Neither of these characters would be thinking of it in the context of the situation.

Later, Sarah is opening the door to Detective Detweiler. We’re still in her POV, but now we can see more about her as well as a description of the detective, and since it’s from her POV, there’s none of that ‘self-assessment’ going on.

She unlocked the door to a tall, lanky man dressed in black denim pants and a gray sweater, gripping several bulky plastic bags. At five-four, Sarah didn’t consider herself exceptionally short, but she had to tilt her head to meet his eyes.

Sometimes, there are compromises. My editor knows I don’t like stopping the story, especially at the beginning to describe characters, but she knows readers might want at least a hint.

This was the original opening paragraph I sent to my editor:

Cecily Cooper’s heart pounded as she stood in the judge’s chambers, awaiting the appearance of Grady Fenton, the first subject in her pilot program, Helping Through Horses. She’d spent months working out the details, hustling endorsements, groveling for grant monies, and had done everything in her power to convince her brother, Derek, to give Grady a job at Derek’s Triple-D Ranch.

This was my editor’s comment to that opening: Can you add a personal physical tag for Cecily somewhere on the first page—hair, what she’s wearing? There’s a lot of detail that comes later, but there should be something here to help the reader connect with her right away.

So, I figured there’s a good reason I’m paying her, and added a bit more.

Shuffling footfalls announced Grady’s arrival. Cecily ran her damp palms along her denim skirt, wishing she could have worn jeans so she’d have pockets to hide the way her hands trembled.

My reasoning: I mentioned the skirt was denim, because the fabric helps set the “cowboy” theme for the book, but there’s no more detail than that. Not how many buttons, or whether it’s got lace trim at the hem. Now, let’s say she was wearing Sally’s “girly” skirt. For Cecily, that would be far enough out of character  for her to think about it, BUT, I’d make sure to show the reader her thoughts. Perhaps,

“She hated wearing this stupid yellow-and-green silk skirt—jeans were her thing—but Sabrina told her that skirt would impress the judge.”

See the difference between that and Sally’s self description earlier?

Terry Odell—May 12, 2021

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How do you help the reader feel your scene descriptions? If you write in first person or deep third, any additional advice on character description?

Putting Writing First For a Few Days: Rainforest Writers Retreat

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Lake Quinault

On the first Wednesday of this month I went to my annual writers retreat, held annually at Lake Quinault in Washington State’s magnificent Quinault Rainforest on the Olympic Peninsula. As usual, when I returned, I was bubbling with enthusiasm for writing (okay, even more enthusiasm than usual).

When I mentioned having gone in a comment here at TKZ, our own Debbie Burke asked if I would be sharing my experience in a post here. I’d written briefly about it three years ago in the intro to a Words of Wisdom post, but that didn’t do the experience justice.

Why attend a writing retreat? What might you get out of attending?

Writers retreats can give you the opportunity to truly put your writing first for a short period of time. I’m not talking about making your writing a priority, but rather going someplace—even if it’s with your writers group to a local coffee shop for an afternoon or a beach house for a long weekend—and immersing yourself in your writing and writing craft and letting go of day-to-day concerns.

Retreats can also be a powerful way to kickstart your writing, both for beginners starting out, or for an experienced writer looking to change up their writing, or return to it after an absence, long or short.

They can provide opportunities to learn writing craft, build community, and of course, time to focus on writing and provide a place to write, either alone or in a group setting, sometimes called parallel play and also known as body doubling where you leverage the presence of other writers engaged in the same activity. Rainforest writers has been called an “accelerant” because the retreat’s isolation, community and writing focus can accelerate your development as a writer.

***

Retreat organizer Patrick Swenson with Resort manager Ian Strait looking over his shoulder.

Rainforest Writers is run by my friend Patrick Swenson, himself an author as well as the publisher of Fairwood Press, who taught high school English classes for 39 years before retiring in 2024. Patrick has been putting on Rainforest since 2007, when it was a single five day session. Now there are four sessions, one after the other, beginning in late February and into mid-March. Each begins on a Wednesday afternoon and ends at noon on the following Sunday.

The retreat takes place at the Rainforest Resort Village, located on the south shore of Lake Quinault. Rooms are available at the Village inn, the Parkside suites, or the Fireplace cabins. There are no phones in any of the rooms, and cell service can be spotty. There is internet, which is a bit iffy in the Village inn, but quite accessible in the Salmon House restaurant and lounge, as well as the General Store.

The retreat fee is $200, which includes breakfast at the Salmon House Thursday through Sunday. Patrick provides sandwich fixings for lunch Thursday and Friday, while long-time attendees Deborah and Chuck put on a soup lunch on Saturday which nearly everyone attends. You’re “on your own” for dinner, which for me means the Salmon House, except for Thursday night when a group dinner is held in the restaurant, which is a wonderful opportunity to mingle with other writers over food.

Thirty plus writers attend each session, with many returning each year, often to the same session they attended in the past. I began going in 2019, Session 2, and did Session 2 every following year through 2025, except for the Pandemic year of 2021 when there was an online retreat instead. This year I decided to switch things up and attend Session 3, which was held from Wednesday March 4 through Sunday March 8.

Most of the attendees write science fiction, fantasy or horror, but there are a few crime dogs like myself, as well as paranormal romance writers, memoir writers and historical novelists. Writers range from novices to professional authors. Authors are a mix of traditionally published and self-published.

I’ve known writers to rent a cabin for their Rainforest session, and hole up and simply write as much as possible, which is a perfectly fine way to spend the retreat if you so choose.

However, for most of us, the writing retreat is also about community. Informal conversations about writing, the writing life and publishing, as well as writing alongside each other, at times in the Salmon House lounge, which has a lovely view of Lake Quinault and the forested hills beyond. The lake teems with water fowl—Canadian geese, loons, mergansers, ducks and more. Bald eagles also visit the lake. It’s an amazing backdrop which can provide a place to gaze between writing sprints.

***

Early bird writing in the lounge.

There are two organized group writing sessions in the lounge each day—the early bird writers from 6-9AM and the night owls from 9PM to after midnight, and then there’s informal sessions at the other times.

In previous years, like a crazy person, I burned the candle at both ends and was an early bird and a night owl. in both groups.

This year sanity prevailed  and I went with being an early bird, arriving just after the start at 6AM and writing until breakfast at 9AM each morning. The past three retreats I brought mystery novels to revise but this year I came with a new mystery novel I wanted to begin drafting, which is an entirely different energy. I also wrote some micro-fiction as a break from my frenzied novel drafting.

I also wrote in the afternoons following lunch, sometimes continuing in the lounge, other times back in my lakeview room at the Village inn, and often did a session in the early evening. Over the course of five days I wrote 19,339 words, which included 2100 words on the opening of a longer short story. The vast majority was on Last Seen Shelving, the fourth Meg Booker library cozy.

In the spirit of both fun competition and group effort, Patrick puts up a white-board each session where writers can track their session word counts, and also any editing they do. The person with the largest word count at the end of each session wins a prize, as well as first pick in the raffle, while the second and third place finishers get to pick a prize ahead of the drawing. Patrick also tallies the total words written by all writers in a session, which gives a bit of a team effort feel to the word count.

This session I ended up in third place. My normal writing pace is 1000-1500 words a day, going over 2000 words later in the novel as the story careens toward climax. At Rainforest I averaged nearly 5000 words a day, keeping in mind that I only had two plus hours on Sunday. On Thursday and Friday I wrote around 6000 words each day. However, by Saturday afternoon I ran out of gas and had to take a long break.

I’m not a binge writer by nature, I’m only one when forced by a deadline. Instead, I normally work at a steady pace. I tend to binge write at Rainforest.

The last time I drafted fiction at Rainforest was in 2022, when I wrote over 15,000 words worth of short stories. This session reminded me I can extend myself but just like working out extra hard, I end up needing to recover. Since I’ve returned from Rainforest, my writing pace has been much slower, well under a thousand words each day as I recharge, but I haven’t missed a day. I went into Rainforest not having drafted regularly for a while, and came out of it with a building streak, and yes, I am still tracking my word count.

***

Another important aspect of Rainforest is in providing opportunities to learn about various aspects of writing and the writing life.

Each session has hour-long presentations at 11AM Thursday, Friday and Saturday. When I started there were also presentations at 3PM on Thursday and Friday, but Patrick felt that broke up the day too much and wanted to give writers a more unbroken stretch of time for writing, editing etc. between lunch and dinner.

In the past I’ve attended presentations on characters, sensory detail, pacing, POV, action scenes, writing in more than one genre among others. I usually make time to attend at least a couple of the presentations.

Last year I was a presenter, for the first time, giving a mini-workshop on self-publishing. My audience was engaged and asked some terrific questions.

This year I attended all three presentations.

Thursday, author Kate Ristau gave a talk on the classic idea of “throwing rocks at your characters,” which looked at what your character is trying to achieve, and what obstacles and complications arise as she struggles to reach her goal. Kate gave us an exercise that asked about how the objects in our story and how we might externalize our characters’ wants and needs in the form of the objects.

For instance, in my fourth mystery, the library itself represents a place of fulfillment for my hero and a place where she can make a difference, which is a need she has.

Friday’s presentation was “Project Management Tools for Sustainable Writing Habits” by J.B. Kish and Remy Nakamura and proved to be insightful and informative.

J.B. and Remy provided us with worksheets, first looking at our expectations about “our ideal writer selves,” such as how many words per day does my ideal writer self produce, how often, when, how easily do I enter a state of focus, how confident is my ideal self, how long does it take them to finish a novel draft.

They discussed “compassionate productivity, looking at sustainably being able to reach “real outcomes” vs the ideal ones, the importance of mindfulness when it comes to your own process, challenges and life situation, and the idea of incremental, forward progress.

Accountability can be very helpful, especially when there are consequences for doing the work—rewards if you achieved it, or withholding a reward if you do not, such as not opening a bottle of fine Scotch you’d purchased until you finish the project.

“Touch the work everyday,” even if it’s only to jot down a few words on the draft, write a note or spend a few moments considering what comes next.

Saturday Dean Wells presented “The Ending Was There All Along,” how to breakdown the decision tree of your ending. Dean began by stating that writer’s block is noise: your creative side is stymied by your critical side. His solution is “structured problem solving.” Drill down through the noise. It’s a back-to-basics approach. He counseled using your analytical side to engage in dialogue with your creative side. Ask your creative side questions about what you want as a writer in this story.

At essence, story is character + setting + problem. The character either succeeds or fails.

Which do you want as a storyteller?

He uses a logic tree. Identify the problem. Does it result in success or failure? If success it can be simply happily ever after or come at a cost. If the latter, that can range from the personal to collateral damage. What does this look like? Personal can be self, loved one, friend etc.

This leads us to before the ending and our hero’s fear—what is your character afraid of losing?

In order to overcome this the hero must be willing to sacrifice, which Dean feels is the single most important aspect of your hero. They take a little leap of faith in order to solve the problem.

He broke down Act III into Climax, Resolution and Denouement and noted its importance, the untying of the story not. For me as a cozy mystery writer, it’s the granting of the boon of justice which restores the integrity of the community where the story takes place.

He gave examples from films such as Star Wars: A New Hope and the 1972 western The Cowboys, starring John Wayne and Bruce Dern.

Part of Dean Well’s decision tree on endings.

***

The Cabin party is held Saturday night, in Cabin 6,  Patrick’s cabin, where you can drop by anytime during the day during your session for a snack or a beverage, and often an informal conversation about writing. Cabin parties are another opportunity to meet and talk with your fellow attendees.

Every session wraps up Sunday morning, at 11 in the lounge, where the Rainforest inspiration award. Every attendee votes for the attendee who proved most inspirational during their session.

In Session 3 this year, that was J.B. Kish, the co-presenter of project management for writers (his fellow presenter Remy Nakamura won the inspiration award a previous year). The inspiration award winner will have their name engraved and put on a retreat plaque commemorating all the winners.

After this, the session word count winners were announced, with me coming in at third behind Cyrus at second, with 23,000 plus words, and Rebekah at first with a staggering 32,000 words written. It was her first Rainforest and she was stunned to have won.

A raffle for donated prizes—everything from books and music to coffee and tea mugs to fine wine followed, and then we said our goodbyes and we began our drives back to our respective homes.

Another session had flown by, giving us a chance to put writing first for a few days, concentrate on a project, learn a few things, and perhaps make new friends as well as reconnect with old ones. I always return home with increased creativity and enthusiasm.

Crow at Lake Quinault playing the part of mystery’s iconic raven.

 

Resources:

Rainforest Writers: https://rainforestwriters.com/index.html

Making retreats part of your writing life: https://writershelpingwriters.net/2026/01/writing-retreats/

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Have you attended a writing retreat, or would you like to? What do you get out of retreat, or what would you like to, if you’ve never been on one before?

Research Words of Wisdom

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Today’s Words of Wisdom is a follow-up to my post from two weeks ago, this time focusing on advice on doing research for your writing. We have excerpts from posts by Kathleen Pickering, Linda Castillo and James Scott Bell. As always, the full posts are worth reading in full and each is date-linked at the bottom of its excerpt.

Personally, I prefer on-site research for my stories, and so far have been able to use that tool successfully. However, I do rely on the Internet for facts. Ironic as it sounds, I searched the Internet to find guidelines for researching reliable sources on-line. I found the most reliable tips from websites for university libraries. Since the first tip was to check the authority of a source, I thought colleges would offer the most unbiased tools for determining reliable information.

I found when choosing an article, blog, website, government document, historical journal or any resource posted online five key areas should be considered:

  1. The Authority of the author/publisher of information.

You should be able to identify the author of the work/site, his/her credentials, relevant affiliations, and past writings. The article itself should offer information, or sources like Who’s Who, the  author’s home page, or Google search the publishers/author’s name to see what other works support their credentials.

  1. The Objectivity of the author.

What is the motive for your source’s article, blog, website? Does your source admit to a particular bias? Offer historical, medical or industry facts and not opinions, or affiliation viewpoints? Can you compare the information to other independent sites/articles to verify facts?

  1. The Quality of the information:

Do the facts agree with your own knowledge of the subject? Can you insure information is complete and accurate by comparing with other specialists in the field? Does this author list other sources for his/her information, as well? And, believe it or not, check the site, article or blog for grammatical and spelling errors, typos. These usually indicate a non-professional delivery of information, making the facts suspect.

  1. Evaluate Date of information:

When was the information published?  Check the date on the web page for publication date and revision dates. Is the information current? Does it update old facts? Substantiate other materials you’ve read?

  1. Establish Relevance of the information:

Are these facts popular vs. scholarly? (Huffington Post vs. Wall Street Journal)Does the information use raw data, photographs, first-hand accounts, reviews or research reports? Has the information been analyzed and the resources cited? Are footnotes, endnotes or bibliographies listed?

Remember, Wikipedia is no the end-all of resources, since anyone can edit it. And, a rule of thumb is to ensure you tap at least five different sources to verify your facts before accepting your information as usable.

Kathleen Pickering—August 30, 2011

Nothing gets a writer’s creative juices flowing like research. Okay, that’s not exactly true for everyone, but the importance of solid research should never be underestimated.

There are three camps when it comes to that aspect of writing. First, there are the writers who love it. The obsessive-compulsive types who spend days or weeks or even months completely and happily immersed in whatever subject matter they’re about to embark upon.

Then there are writers like me, who walk a center line (not necessarily a straight line.) I research the central external theme of my book. For example, if the story involves a cold case and there’s a dead body in the mix, I’ll read everything I can get my hands on about decomp, forensics, and police procedure regarding old cases. For the smaller details, I research as I write.

And, finally, there are those writers who detest research. Writers who would rather . . . well . . . write than bury their noses in tomes of seemingly extraneous information for weeks on end. They want to get to the story already, and who can blame them if said story is burning—or a tight deadline beckons? Well, slow down, Mr. Type A, because in the end, solid research can save you hours of re-writing—and maybe even save the book.

One thing is certain: A writer can never know too much about his or her subject matter. That is an indisputable fact. Do your research and take the time to do it right. Thorough research will help you write the book. It can help you find that brilliant twist your story is begging for. It adds confidence to your voice. It adds power and credibility to your writing. In the long run, it can save you time. Knowledge and/or expertise cannot be faked, no matter how good a liar you are. If a writer tries to write about a subject he or she doesn’t know squat about, it will show. Readers will know.

A couple of quick caveats:

While it’s true that a writer can never do too much research, keep these two points in mind. Your research should never show. And you shouldn’t hide behind your research because you’re afraid to write the book. Writers, you know what I mean.

Linda Castillo—October 15, 2015

 

Some significant fakery occurs in the classic film, Casablanca. One of the screenwriters, Julius Epstein, once admitted:

There never were Letters of Transit. Germans never wore uniforms in Casablanca, that was part of the Vichy agreement. But we didn’t know what was going on in Casablanca. We didn’t even know where Casablanca was!

But Letters of Transit sounds real. Which is, of course, the key to fakery!

In the 1960s Lawrence Block wrote a paperback series about a world-roaming secret agent named Tanner. When he got the galleys for one of the books he saw an odd term in the text: tobbo shop. What? He checked his own manuscript and saw that he had written tobacco shop. The typesetter had made a mistake. But Block sat back and mused that tobbo shop had a realistic ring to it and besides, how many readers would have been to Bangkok? (I believe he even got some letters from readers who had been there, and did remember those “quaint tobbo shops.”)

Harlan Coben issues a warning about research:

“I think it’s actually a negative for writers sometimes when they’re writing contemporary novels to know too much. First of all, doing research is more fun than writing, so you start getting into the research and you forget to tell your story. And, second, which is on a very parallel track … sometimes you learn all kinds of cute factoids you think are so interesting that you include them in the book, but you weigh the story down. I try not to do that.”

One method I’ve used when writing hot (and not wanting to stop) and I get to a spot where I know I’ll need research, I’ll put in a placeholder (***) and keep writing. I’ll make my best guess about how the scene should go, then do any additions or corrections later.

On the other hand, when writing historical fiction, which demands detail precision, I have to do a lot of research up front. For my series about a young woman lawyer in turn-of-the-century Los Angeles, I spent many, many hours in the downtown L.A. library, poring over microfilm of the newspapers of the day. I have two huge binders full of this research, and I’m really proud of the results. But man, it’s hard work (am I right, Clare?)

But it’s worth it. When the first book came out almost twenty years ago it sold great and got uniformly positive reviews, several mentioning the historical accuracy. I did, however, get a physical letter (remember those?) from the curator of a telephone museum! He said he enjoyed the book, but there was one little detail about my lead, Kit Shannon, using a wall telephone, that I got wrong. The one guy in the United States who would have noticed this happened to read my book!

Naturally, it was not plausible to dump all the books in the warehouse to change that teeny, tiny thing. And who else was going to notice? But it rankled me, nonetheless.

When I got the rights back to the series, that was the only thing I wanted to change. All those years later I was still mad about it! Unfortunately, I couldn’t find the letter from the museum guy. I decided to try to find him online. Instead I found another museum and emailed somebody there, explaining the detail. In return, I got a nice email back telling me there was a model of telephone that operated exactly like I had it. It would have been used only by very wealthy people.

Which is how it was in my book. Kit lives with her wealthy great aunt in the posh section of town known as Angeleno Heights.

***

Today, there are areas in your fiction that you’d better get right or you’ll hear about it, boy howdy. Perhaps the biggest of these is weapons. If you have your hero cocking the hammer of his Glock, expect a flood of abuse letting you know that a Glock has no hammer. (And if Gilstrap reads your book, duck, because he’ll be throwing it at you.) If you have your hero shoving another clip into his Beretta, you’ll have an irate horde telling you to shove … never mind, just note that a clip is not a magazine.

If you’re not accurate about a place, you’ll hear from people who live there. This is partly why I base most of my books in my hometown of Los Angeles. I grew up here. I know it. That it also happens to be the greatest crime-noir city is a bonus.

But sometimes I want to venture forth. In some instances, to save me from a cumbersome research trip, I simply make up a town and slap it down somewhere. If people want to take the time to look it up and find out it doesn’t exist, they’ll know I made it up and accept it. Ross Macdonald and Sue Grafton set their series in Santa Teresa, a stand-in for Santa Barbara that allowed them plenty of leeway to make up locations within. No one’s complaining.

James Scott Bell—May 10, 2020

***

  1. What’s your approach to researching a subject for your own writing? Do you do a deep dive beforehand, or leave that for after?
  2. How do you verify your research?
  3. Have you ever fallen down a research rabbit hole?
  4. Do you invent places such as letters of transit or the wonderfully accidentally “Tobo shop?” If so, any advice?

I’m at my annual Rainforest writer’s retreat this weekend, so my internet access will be spotty, but I’ll try and pop in when I can. In the meantime, please comment on your own approach to research.

Writing the Old-Fashioned Way: Alternatives to Artificial Intelligence for Writers

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In the past few years Large-Language Models AKA “A.I.” such as ChatGPT have become widespread, and been introduced into all sorts of programs. Recently here at the Kill Zone we’ve had several posts on A.I., including two already this week, one on Wednesday by John Gilstrap and another on Thursday by Patricia Bradley.

Personally I am against using A.I. in my novel brainstorming, writing and for research. I’m concerned about outsourcing my thinking and creativity to a program that is capable of neither. Many of these programs were trained on copyrighted material without the owners permission (including seven of my own books), and there’s also concern about plagiarism. I am also concerned about errors in A.I. search results.

So, for those would rather avoid using such LLMs/Gen A.I. for brainstorming, writing or research, here are a few alternatives.

Brainstorming Without A.I.

You might brainstorm a whole book, or a crucial scene, or plot point. It can be a simple as sitting down and writing out a list of ideas for that plot point, character, or surprise, or breaking out a pack of index cards and jotting down scene ideas, one scene per card.

My Words of Wisdom post from 2023 featured useful advice from three authors on brainstorming which is worth revisiting.

Then there are handy card decks to help with brainstorming, such as Storymatic, the Writers Emergency Pack and the Writing Down the Bones deck.

I first learned about The Storymatic card deck from our very own James Scott Bell, in a 2021 post entitled “How to Write When You’re Not Writing.”

As Jim noted in that post, Their ad line is “Six trillion stories in one little box. Which one will you tell?” It’s a set of 500 cards of two types. One type is a setting or situation, the other is a kind of character. I’ll draw one of each at random and put them together to see what comes up.”

Writers Emergency pack was created by screenwriter John August, and is intended to be used when you stuck while plotting or writing. There are 52 cards—26 idea cards and 26 detail cards which include suggestions on how to move forward. It’s a handy break the block or end the creative drought set of cards.

Writing Down The Bones deck, by Natalie Goldberg, author of the classic Writing Down the Bones, provides sixty prompts to spark your writing.

Brainstorming with another writer or a group of writers can be creative dynamite. Back in 2013, I attended author Kij Johnson’s two-week long writers workshop at the University of Kansas, which focused on brainstorming and creating novel outlines. After returning I decided to form my own brainstorming group and got together with three other writers. There’s nothing quite like brainstorming a novel with a group of fellow writers. Also in 2013, my now-friend and fellow author Susan Kaye Quinn blogged about one way to brainstorm a book, in seven steps, which is both a useful example and a handy method in its own right.

Writing Without A.I.

At this time Apple Pages, Literature and Latte’s Scrivener, and Libre Office do not have A.I.  installed.

Pages comes with all Macs, iPhones and iPads and can import and export Word .doc files.

Scrivener is a program designed for writing various short stories, novels, and screenplays and which is available for both Windows and Mac computers.

Libre Office is an alternative to Open Office. “It’s fully compatible with Microsoft Office (365) and is backed by a non-profit organization, The Document Foundation. LibreOffice includes Writer (word processing), Calc (spreadsheets), Impress (presentations), Draw (vector graphics and flowcharts), Base (databases), and Math (formula editing).”

I’ve used the Writer and Calc modules and find them pretty similar to Word and Excel.

What about Microsoft’s Office? Disabling the included A.I. was a complex process a while ago but now there is a simple and straightforward “one click” method to turn on or off Microsoft’s A.I. named “Copilot” in the various Office apps.

Research Without A.I.

Research can be a very important part of writing your novel. It’s a topic for a future Words of Wisdom post but for today I wanted to include a link to this post by John Gilstrap which gives terrific advice on doing effective research while avoiding falling down endless rabbit holes.

Using A.I. for web searching and research is now popular with many people, including writers. But what if you want to avoid using A.I., because you are concerned about its tendency for making mistakes or even manufacturing results out of thin air? Furthermore, websites are being created by A.I. which can include false information.

I’ll start off by referencing my own (and first TKZ) post from 2022 which provided tips on using the online public library. Your local library or library system often subscribes to a number of databases which you can access online with your library card, databases assembled and curated by human experts. Needless to say, I see this as an excellent and robust alternative to using A.I. for researching a topic.

Also, as John noted in his 2021 post about “research hacks,” Wikipedia is a wonderful resource for research.

Now, when you want to avoid A.I. while searching the internet and are using the Google search engine, this article from Lifehacker provides several options. I tend to use the DuckDuckGo search engine, which has some robust privacy options, perfect for when you need to search for a murder method for your latest mystery or thriller. Turning off A.I. results in DuckDuckGo is straight-forward. It’s also worth noting that there is a full-fledged DuckDuckGo browser available for additional privacy protections.

If you wish to bypass all the AI-generated websites now out there, or want to find posts and articles quickly from a few years ago when using Google, here’s two tips:

First, choose the “Web” option from the list of Google options above the search box. This will automatically turn off the A.I. overview feature.

Second, at the end of your search query, add “Before:[DATE].” Example, “How to write a novel Before:2022.” Note the command “Before” followed by a colon and then the date (no space between the colon and the date).

***

I actually began writing this article a few weeks ago, unaware that two of my fellow TKZ authors would be blogging about A.I. just days before my own post. This goes to show how much A.I. is part of our current zeitgeist, and on so many of minds, including here at TKZ. It’s certainly a topic which many of us feel strongly about. That said, whether you use it or not is a personal choice. Today’s post was about providing some alternatives to three core aspects of fiction writing.

Do you have any additional tips, thoughts, or general advice on “going old-school” when it comes to brainstorming, writing, and/or researching a novel? Please share in comments.

Coffee Words of Wisdom

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Coffee.

Not only is it the beverage of choice for many millions of people, it’s a staple of fiction, movies and TV. The bleary-eyed police detective pouring sludge from the bottom of the pot to keep going during a long day at the station house, or maybe pouring out one more cup of java from the thermos while on stakeout during a long, cold night. Or perhaps what our two prospective romantic leads are waiting to order in line at the local coffee shop when they meet cute.

It’s also the fuel of choice for many writers needing a kick to get themselves going at the keyboard.

Coffee is also at the center of a number of cozy mysteries, such as a favorite of mine, the Coffeehouse series by Cleo Coyle, and I don’t even drink coffee.

In honor of coffee, I delved into the KZB archives to find three posts about “the sacred bean.” Not one but two posts by James Scott Bell, and a third by Sue Coletta. All three posts were short enough that I am sharing each in full here.

What do you brew to do what you do?

For most writers through the centuries, it’s been the coffee bean, the seed of the genus coffea. Nothing like a good cup of joe in the morning to get the mind rolling, the fingers pounding and the mind coming up with stuff to happen in the scene you’re working on.

Perhaps the greatest exponent of the jamoke treatment was Honoré de Balzac. He believed its properties were magical, and proved his devotion by writing over 100 novels, novellas and stories on what was, essentially, speed.

His practice was to wake up around midnight and have his servants cook up the thickest coffee imaginable. Think tar with a little sugar. He’d down brew after brew, for up to fifteen hours, letting the stimulant feed his imagination.

He died of caffeine poisoning at the age of 51.

In more moderate quantities, coffee has proved to be universal in its appeal since its discovery in the fifteenth century. According to the definitive treatise All About Coffee (William H. Ukers, 1922):

All nations do it homage. It has become recognized as a human necessity. It is no longer a luxury or an indulgence; it is a corollary of human energy and human efficiency. People love coffee because of its two-fold effect—the pleasurable sensation and the increased efficiency it produces.

Coffee has an important place in the rational diet of all the civilized peoples of earth. It is a democratic beverage. Not only is it the drink of fashionable society, but it is also a favorite beverage of the men and women who do the world’s work, whether they toil with brain or brawn. It has been acclaimed “the most grateful lubricant known to the human machine,” and “the most delightful taste in all nature.”

Personally, I have found coffee to be as Kipling found a good cigar: Thought in the early morning, solace in time of woes. 

And a companion for every novel I’ve ever written.

So do you have any coffee rituals, favorite blends, or go-to coffee joints? If you don’t you have a speciality brew, you should look at websites like Little Coffee Place for some inspiration.

And if the coffee bean is not your thing, what is your drink of choice for doing time at the keyboard?

James Scott Bell—September 17, 2012

 

In my one-day workshops I do an exercise called “Shocking Coffee.” You, the author, imagine you are seated with your main character over a cup of coffee. She tells you she doesn’t think you’ve quite captured her. That surprises you a bit. I mean, after all, you created her.

So you ask, “In what way?” And your character tells you something that shocks you. What is it? (I have the students write for one minute.)

Then I say: You’ve spit out your coffee. Your character hands you a napkin and then tells you something even more shocking! (Write for one minute.)

I was conducting this at a recent conference, and while the students were writing a voice said, “Wow!”

Another voice chimed in. “Exactly!”

And everyone laughed. When we were done I asked a few people to share what they’d come up with. One woman said this clarified the entire novel for her. Another said this offered a whole new direction she’d never thought of.

But one student, a middle-aged man, seemed troubled. He had explained earlier in the workshop that his story was about a man carrying around a load of guilt because he’d accidentally killed his brother years ago. He fears that if his secret ever gets out it will hurt a number of people.

Now he said, “The more shocking thing he told me was that he intended to kill his brother, because he was jealous.”

There were audible oohs and ahhs throughout the room.

“But,” the man protested, “this would make him totally unsympathetic.”

The oohs and ahhs turned to No! and You’re wrong! 

I asked the students, “Who is more interested in this book now?”

All the hands shot up.

The author still seemed confused.

I told him it doesn’t matter where the character has come from, or what he’s done, so long as he’s got the capacity to change and the will to try. We will follow a character like that, hoping for his redemption. Indeed, it’s one of the most powerful engines of fiction.

What had just happened was that the author, by way of a simple exercise, had gone deeper into his material than ever before. Before, he’d stopped at a “safe place.” Now he had pushed past that, and it scared him a little.  (For more on this, see my post here.)

To push through the safe places, try these exercises:

  1. Have a cup of shocking coffee with your Lead. Shocking and more shocking.
  2. Chair through the window: Imagine your character in a nice room with a big, bay window. She picks up a chair and throws it through the glass. Why would she do that? Come up with a reason. Next, write a crazy reason she’d do that. What is this telling you about your Lead?
  3. Closet search: What does your character have hidden in her closet that she doesn’t want anyone—anyone—to find?

More material like this can be found in my course, How to Write Bestselling Fiction.

James Scott Bell—February 23, 2020

I recently had a reader comment, “I noticed most of your characters are tea drinkers. Is that because you are?”

I said yes. Here’s the expanded answer…

I’m allergic to coffee. So, I have no frame of reference for it. None. I’ve never stepped foot inside Starbucks. Wouldn’t even know what one looked like, never mind the sights and smells inside. When my son and daughter-in-law rattle off half-cap, blah, blah, blah, with a shot of blah, blah, blah, they may as well be speaking a foreign language. They’d gain the same reaction from me—a blank stare, my eyes glazed over.

Now, I’ve never serial killed, either, but neither have my readers (I hope). Coffee is too well-known for me to fake it. And let’s face it, we live in a coffee-rich environment, where it’s one of the most popular products on the market. Even if I researched the subject to death, I’m bound to screw up a minor detail. And nothing tears a reader out of a story faster than a mistake about something they know well. The few times I’ve ever even mentioned coffee, I got in and out in one sentence.

I’m not a wine connoisseur, yet Mayhem is. The difference is, I’ve tasted wine.Many wines. 😉 It’s not a favorite of mine, but at least I have some frame of reference. Mayhem is also well-versed in fine dining, and I’m not. But the average reader won’t spend $500-$1,000 on one meal, either. For those that do, I listen to my editor, who not only knows her wine but has made almost all of the fancy dishes I’ve included in my books. When she says that appetizer doesn’t go well with this meal, I change it. No questions asked.

I love how she handles it, too. The comment will read something like, “Mm-mm, sounds yummy… but you know what works better with that dish? Blah, blah, blah.” Or “Yum, but that dish isn’t typically made with cream. It’s made with blah, blah, blah.” Cracks me up every time!

Know your limits. It’s okay to include a detail you’re unfamiliar with if you’re willing to reach out to consultants to check your scene. If you get it wrong, don’t be too stubborn to fix it. We can’t know everything.

You might be thinking, “Why don’t you ask someone about coffee?” It wouldn’t work. I’d have to follow a coffee drinker around to figure out the tiny details they don’t even consider. Things like:

  • How do you order? In the movies it looks complicated.
  • How does it feel to wait in line for your morning coffee?
  • What if they run out of your favorite? Then what?
  • Does everyone have a backup flavor?
  • What’s the difference between flavor and brew?
  • When is the right time of day to switch from hot to iced?
  • Does iced taste different from hot? How so?
  • What do all those pumps do?
  • What do those cap things mean?
  • Do you get jittery afterward?
  • Do you get tired without it?
  • How many cups is enough? How many is too much?
  • What does it taste like? (Describe coffee to someone with no frame of reference)
  • Is it an addiction or pleasure? Or both?
  • How did you decide on half-caps and pumps? What did that transition look like?
  • Does everyone start out drinking it black?
  • Why is espresso served in a tiny cup?
  • Is espresso different from regular coffee? I know it’s stronger, but why?
  • Is coffee measured by caffeine? Quality of beans?
  • What about cappuccino? How is that different from regular?
  • How do they draw those little hearts on top?
  • Do baristas use special tools? What do those look like? Do they get hot? Cold?
  • Why are coffee shops so popular?
  • Why do people hang out in coffee shops? Is it a social thing?
  • Why do the sound of coffee shops soothe some people?
  • Describe the sound and smells of Starbucks.
  • How long would you wait in line for your favorite coffee?
  • Why can’t you make it at home?
  • How much do the fancy coffees cost per cup?
  • Is iced cheaper than hot? Or vice versa? And why.

I could go on and on. There are too many variables with coffee.

Sue Coletta—September 18, 2023

***

This time the questions for you all come from the original posts.

  1. “So do you have any coffee rituals, favorite blends, or go-to coffee joints? If you don’t you have a speciality brew, you should look at websites like Little Coffee Place for some inspiration. And if the coffee bean is not your thing, what is your drink of choice for doing time at the keyboard?”
  2. “So when was the last time one of your characters surprised you? Did you go with it or resist it? What techniques do you use to deepen characters in your fiction?”
  3. “Anyone want to take a crack at any of my questions? Try describing the taste to me.”

Two Kinds of Cats

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Today’s post is a call back to “Pet Words of Wisdom” from March 2024, posted just after we had to say goodbye to our beloved cat, Mittens, who was nearly eighteen when he passed. He was the last of the six cats in the many years my wife and I have lived in our little house. All of them brought great joy and liveliness to our home. After he died, we decided we needed a break.

That break ended last Saturday when we adopted Maeve and Moxie, pair of nine-month old kittens, who were part of the last litter born to an outdoor colony. The two were very underweight when they went into foster care, but now are glowing with life, love and energy.

Maeve in a rare moment of rest.

Moxie imitating a work of art, with the window frame serving as a faux picture frame.

Suddenly our quiet house has returned to an earlier time, with cat toys strewn about and the thundering of small paws down the hallway at 2AM when the wee furry ones have zoomies in the wee hours.

Now, despite being a lifelong “servant to cats” as well as a friend to dogs, I hadn’t included a pet in any of my books until my second Meg Booker mystery, Book Drop Dead, which sees Meg adopt a stray kitten she finds outside the library. However, little Honorius does not help solve any murders.

Writing a cozy featuring pets that are involved in solving a mystery is enticing, but of course there are already many such mysteries out there. Not that that’s ever stopped me before when an idea takes hold, but, just as I did with cozies in general, I’d want to read a stack of pet mysteries.

I’m already huge fan of Jeffrey Poole’s Corgi Casefiles series which give much inspiration for a potential pet-centered mystery, with his clue-detecting corgis Sherlock and Watson.

Now if I were to write a “pet helps solve mystery” novel it would of course have to star a cat or cats.

With that in mind I have Rita Mae Brown’s Mrs. Murphy cat mysteries, Shirley Rosseau Murphy’s Joe Grey series, Lillian Jackson Brown’s Cat Who books, and Miranda James’ Cat in the Stacks series on my to-be-read list of cat mysteries.

In honor of cats in mystery fiction, today we have an excerpt a from 2024 post by Elaine Vets on including pets in mysteries, as well as a 2016 post by James Scott Bell, on herding very different kinds of “CATS.”

Both post are well worth reading in full.

We all know that getting a reader inside a lead character’s head is one of the keys to compelling fiction. But it has to be done seamlessly so it doesn’t jerk us out of the narrative and put a crimp in the fictive dream.

Which means we have to learn to handle what I call “Character Alone Thinking Scenes” (CATS) in a deft manner.

The first issue is whether to begin the book with a CATS. As last Wednesday’s first-page critique demonstrated (in my view, at least) the answer should almost always be No. 

Why? Because we have to have a little personal investment in someone before we can care deeply about their feelings.

Imagine going to a party and you’re introduced to a fellow with a drink in his hand. You say, “How are you?” and the guy says, “I’m really depressed, man, I wake up every day and the room looks dark and the sun never shines, even though it’s out there, and I don’t see it because of the dark dankness in my soul, and life has lost its meaning, its luster, whatever it was it once had for me when I was young and ready to take on the world. Ya know?”

AHHHH!!!!

Well, the beginning of a book is like walking into a party. The reader wants to meet interesting people. And interest is aroused by what people do. The way you catch readers from the start is through action and disturbance, not feeling and expounding. 

I can’t tell you the number of manuscripts I’ve read over the years that did not begin with a real scene, but instead opted for the inside of a character’s head. What I usually do in such cases is flip the pages until I get to some dialogue, because that automatically means we’re in a scene. And 98% of the time that is the best place to start. (Sure, an argument can be made that a great style might be enough to carry the opening pages. But it better be truly great and truly brief.)

So, re: the opening—save your CATS for later.

Once you’re into the novel there are two types of CATS to herd—active and reactive.

In an active scene, the character is alone but with a major scene objective (something that materially relates to the plot), and thinks while trying to overcome whatever scene obstacles are in her way.

In a reactive scene, the character is alone with a chance to reflect. She may be thinking about what’s already happened in the story, or her current psychological state, or the other characters. When done well, reactive scenes strengthen our emotional bond with the character.

James Scott Bell—October 1, 2017

 

I’m writing a new mystery series set in South Florida. Here’s one of the hairiest problems I considered: did I want my protagonist to have a pet?

I like pets, and they’re popular with mystery readers. Especially cat and dog mysteries.

Many cozy readers are familiar with Laurie Cass’s Bookmobile Cat series. And that’s just the start of the good felines. There are series with Cat Cafes, Klepto Cats, Magical Cats, witches’ cats, library cats, bookstore cats and more.

Cats who talk and solve mysteries aren’t my cup of tea – my cats can’t even open a can of food for dinner. But what do I know? Readers love felines who can perform semi-human feats.

I could also give my new protagonist a dog. Dog mysteries are definite people pleasers. There’s a pack of them, including David Rosenfelt’s series, featuring work-avoiding, dog loving lawyer Andy Carpenter and his golden retriever, Tara.

Tara is a lovable companion. Other mystery series feature working dogs, such as FBI special agent Sara Driscoll and her search and rescue Labrador, Hawk.

Here are more good reasons to have pets in mysteries:

Walking a dog is a good way to meet people.

Animals are good judges of character. Dogs (and some cats) can rescue or defend you, warn you with a timely bark or hiss, even uncover a clue.

A pet in your mystery can be plus. Readers identify with pets. “Your cat reminds me of my orange tabby, Ginger. She loves to . . .”

But there are major downsides to consider. Pets need care. Your detective can’t be on the track of a killer and suddenly stop the investigation to make a phone call. (“Psst! Mark. I’m staking out the killer’s house. Will you walk my corgi? I just got a new living room rug.”)

Dogs also have to be fed and groomed. Cats are a little more easy care. Your detective can open a big bag of dry food and leave out a bowl of water, but sooner or later the litter box has to be cleaned.

Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series has a unique, easy-care animal, a hamster named Rex. Rex lives in a cage on her kitchen counter. Rex sleeps in a soup can and runs on his hamster wheel. Stephanie occasionally tosses him a grape for a treat.

But she’s such a good writer, Rex seems real. Once, some thugs held Rex for ransom, and I genuinely hoped the little critter would survive.

For this new series, I decided to go pet-free.

Elaine Viets—August 8, 2024

***

  1. Do you enjoy reading mysteries about pets? Any favorites?
  2. Have you included pets in your fiction? If so, what sort and in what fashion?
  3. How do you herd JSB’s “CATS” when you write?

Words of Wisdom from January 2010

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For my first post of 2026 I decided to look for KZB posts published sixteen years ago this month. It was hard winnowing it down to three excerpt, but choose I did.

First is a post by Claire-Langley Hawthorne about meeting the challenge of writing a short story by laying out the structure first. Next is an evergreen post by James Scott Bell dealing with the structure of a novel. Last is a touching post by John Ramsey Miller on experiencing death and how that can deeply inform our writing.

I view a short story as having a single transformative story arc – one told in the most concise and most powerful terms possible. All fine and dandy in theory but no sooner do I start than I fall prey to an overabundance of backstory and plot complications – and these little buggers have an annoying habit of multiplying, so by the time I reach around 4,000 words I realize what I really have is, you guessed it, chapter one of a new novel. Characters have already started taking control, offering me a range of complexities that I can’t help but want to explore, the setting demands detailed description which I cannot resist providing and the story arc takes on a much grander scale that will inevitably fail as a short story.

With this particular short story (which I’m hoping will pass muster and be published in the Kill Zone collection you’ll be hearing much more about) this dilemma created both opportunities as well as challenges. I had to rise to the challenge of paring everything down so it would succeed as a short story and I realized I had the seeds for a new series set in Australia which was quite exciting (oddly enough I’ve never written anything actually set in the land I grew up in).

My first step to transforming my piece into a ‘proper’ short story was to think about structure. I focused on the four main elements I thought I needed:

  1. Establishment of setting
  2. A trigger for action
  3. A build up of suspense and conflict
  4. A critical choice
  5. Resolution

When I found I basically had all these elements (albeit muddied by too much dialogue, description and backstory!) I knew my main focus had to be on paring everything down to its essential elements. This included character, setting, as well as plot and once I started this process I also found that I could focus on what the story was really all about.

Last Friday I took my short story to my writing group for their critique and they helped me identify areas of improvement and further ‘pruning’ – hopefully I’m now close to the final product and, more importantly, I feel like I’ve grappled with a new challenge that has improved me as a writer.

I can’t say I like the short story as a medium – I am a novelist at heart – but I do appreciate the intensity and power it can bring. I may not have enjoyed the process but as compensation I do have a new (male) protagonist that intrigues me. So who knows, this particular challenge may spur me on to develop a whole new series of books!

Claire-Langley Hawthorne—January 11, 2010

 

Now, the first doorway is an event that thrusts the Lead into the conflict of Act 2. It is not, and this is crucial, just a decision to go looking around in the “dark world” (to use mythic terms). That’s weak. That’s not being forced.

A good example of a first doorway is when Luke Skywalker’s aunt and uncle are murdered by the forces of the Empire in Star Wars. That compels Luke to leave his home planet and seek to become a Jedi, to fight the evil forces. If the murders didn’t happen, Luke would have stayed on his planet as a farmer. He had to be forced out.

In Gone With the Wind it’s the outbreak of the Civil War. Hard to miss that one. No one can go back again to the way things were. Scarlett O’Hara is going to be forced to deal with life in a way she never wanted or anticipated.

In The Wizard of Oz, it’s the twister (hint: if a movie changed from black and white to color, odds are you’ve passed through the first doorway of no return).

In The Fugitive, the first doorway is the train wreck that enables Richard Kimble to escape, a long sequence that ends at the 30 minute mark (perfect structure) and has U. S. Marshal Sam Gerard declaring, “Your fugitive’s name is Dr. Richard Kimble. Go get him!”

The second doorway, the one that closes Act 2 and leads to Act 3, is a bit more malleable, but just as critical. It is a clue or discovery, or set-back or crisis, one which makes inevitable the final battle of Act 3. It is the doorway that makes an ending possible. Without this, the novel could go on forever (and some seem to for lack of this act break).

In The Fugitive, at the 90 minute mark (the right placement for a film of just over two hours), Kimble breaks into the one-armed man’s house and finds the key evidence linking him with the pharmaceutical company. This clue leads to the inevitable showdown with the “behind the scenes” villain.

In High Noon, the town marshal reaches the major crisis: he finally realizes no one in the town is going to help him fight the bad guys. That forces him into the final battle of Act 3, the showdown with the four killers.

By the way, this structure works for both “plot driven” and “character driven” stories. It’s just that the former is mainly about outside events, and the latter about the inner journey. But that’s beyond the scope of this post.

Now, there is always some well meaning literary genius howling in protest at the idea of structure. Too rigid! I don’t write by formula! I am a rule breaker, a rebel! An artist! Away with your blueprints and let me run free! The 3 act structure is dead!

Let me say, first, I understand this artistic impulse. A good writer is a rebel, someone out to make waves.

But let me also say that the literary waters are littered with the works of those who ignored the basic principles of the suspension bridge. Unreadable novels with pretty words that didn’t sell.

You want to write an experimental novel? Go for it. Just be aware that not a whole lot of people are going to care.

What they care about are characters, dealing with trouble by fighting their way over a bridge—meaning, through a plot that matters and is laid out in the right way.

Structure is “translation software” for your imagination. You’ve got a great story in your head. The characters, the feeling, the tone, the gut appeal, the thing you want to say. But it means squat unless you can share it with other people, namely, readers.

Structure allows you to get your story out with the greatest possible impact.

James Scott Bell—January 16, 2010

 

Like Gilstrap wrote on his blog, I also think and write about death and destruction and it’s a subject I know better than I’d like. I have seen death and the destruction guns and knives and cars can do to human beings and it made quite an impression on me starting at an early age. We lived across the street from a funeral home when I was ten or so, and that was where my experience began. Our neighborhood kids used to lie on our stomachs and watch Mr. Barry embalm people in the basement. He always had the louvered-glass windows open and he never saw us as his back was usually to us. It was like watching horror movies. We used to run when we heard the ambulances heading for the hospital and we’d stand, an audience of innocents, watching as some unfortunate victim was wheeled in on a gurney. Often the ambulance (again Mr. Barry) would often make a quick stop before putting the vic back into the ambulance (it doubled as the hearse for black funerals at the other Barry home in another part of town) and it had red lights in the grill and a howling siren. The lights were covered with black cloth baggies for funerals. It showed me a side of death I’ve carried with me since.

I have a problem in that I never know what to tell kids about death, how to explain it without instill fear and worry in them. I told Sasha that the old moves aside so the young can have room to grow up, that it was true with every living thing. I told her that dying was just like being born into this world but in another place. I’m not sure about that but I don’t mind lying to children about that.

Before my funeral home days in Starkville, Mississippi, when I was five or six, my eighty-four-year old grandfather died, and I remember how empty I felt and how sad it made me. I took little consolation in people telling me he was in heaven. I only knew he was never coming back and that I’d never sit in his lap and use his pocket knife to carefully cut cubes of tobacco for him to chew. I’d never hear him tell me stories about his life as a cattleman, about gunfights in downtown Hazzlehurst, about driving cattle in storms, of lean times, of being gored by a bull and thrown by horses into bad places. Although I took no consolation in the idea of Papa in heaven, I did in the fact that he died of a stroke while cheering the Friday Night Fights on TV in the nursing home. I am so glad that I knew him for the years I did, and how he called my mama, “baby” and I thought she was truly old.

As I’ve grown older I’ve seen a lot of people I knew and loved die, and it’s never easy. Never. But it has given me feelings to run my fingers over and to put into my words.

John Ramsey Miller—January 30, 2010

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  1. How do you meet a writing challenge?
  2. What helps you with structuring you novels?
  3. Experiencing death is one of the most emotional aspects of being human. Has it deepened your own writing? If so, how?

Thematic Words of Wisdom

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Theme confronts Brody in “Jaws.”

Theme is something writers can wrestle with in their novels, or ignore entirely and just focus on creating a cracking good read. I aim to write engrossing novels, but I also want to deliver a story with a deeper meaning. Becoming aware of a potential theme in a novel I’m working on can help with that.

I’ve been reading screenwriter Jeffrey Schecter’s My Story Can Beat Up Your Story, and his take on theme hit home. He sees the hero asking a “thematic question,” while the confident villain states a “thematic argument.”

One of the examples he provides is from Jaws. Sheriff Brody wonders if he and his family will ever fit in Amity while the great white shark embodies the argument that “an outsider will never be accepted on the island.” The question and the argument do battle in the second half of Act II (or Act III if you’re a four act structure writer), climaxing in the final act in what Schecter calls a “thematic synthesis.” In Jaws, that synthesis is Brody realizing “that he can be accepted into a community only if he is willing to sacrifice all for the community.” Schecter’s laying out the thematic arc for a story was a light bulb moment for yours truly.

With this in mind, today’s Words of Wisdom looks at three posts from the TKZ archives for more insight about theme, courtesy of Kathyrn Lilley, Nancy Cohen and James Scott Bell.

Before there was story structure–before there were even novels—there was theme. A story’s theme is the fundamental and universal idea behind its plot. In King Lear, for example, one of its themes is authority versus chaos.

But to me, a novel’s theme is not merely the abstract principle behind the plot; I believe that you have to bring a story’s theme to life through its characters. Ideally, several of the major characters should portray a variation on the underlying ideas that inform the story. Those characters will reflect the light and depths of your theme, the way the facets of a diamond show off its hidden fire.

In A Killer Workout, the second installment in the Fat City Mysteries, I created a “Mean Girls” theme. I wrote several different characters to illustrate that underlying idea. One character had been victimized by bullies in her youth–another was herself a bully. Still another character had grown up to become a protector of abused young women. Through each of these women’s stories and backgrounds, I explored the ideas of bullying, emotional abuse, and “mean girls” in various ways.

I use my characters to do a “360” exploration of the theme of each of my novels. The secondary characters’ experiences in terms of the theme are usually more intense and extreme than my protagonist’s. They act as “theme foils,” and they also propel her journey through the plot.

Kathryn Lilley—April 20, 2009

Another book club member, an English teacher, had this to say:

“On our tests, students are given a passage to read and then asked to explain the author’s intent. I once asked an author if they knew the theme of their story before they wrote it, and their answer was no. They write the story as it comes. How about you?”

“My intent is to entertain,” I said. “That’s it. I want to give my readers a few hours of escape from their mundane routine and all the bad news out there. My goal is to write a fast-paced story that captures their attention.”

And this is true. I’ve had a writer friend who is a literature professor look at my work and find all sorts of symbolism. Excuse me? I had no idea it was there. Must have been subconscious. I do not set out to sprinkle meaningful symbols related to a theme into my story content. I just write the book.

However, I do know what life lesson my main character has to learn by the end of the story. This is essential for character growth and makes your fictional people seem more real. Usually, I include this emotional realization in my synopsis or plotting notes. It doesn’t always turn out the way I’d planned. Sometimes, this insight evolves differently as I write the story. Or maybe a secondary character has a lesson to learn this time around.

For example, in the book I just finished, I have a couple of paragraphs in my notes under the heading, “What does Marla learn?” Now maybe these lessons could be construed as the book’s theme, but I did not consult these going forward to write the story. To be so analytical would have stopped me dead. Fine arts grad students can pay attention to these details, but I have to write the book as it unfolds. So did I meet the intent that I’d originally set out for my character? Yes, in some respects I covered those points. But do they constitute the main theme of my work? Only my readers will be able to tell me the answer to that question. I can’t see it for myself.

Nancy Cohen—January 28, 2015

I can’t recall who it was, but one novelist said, “A writer should have something on his mind.”

That something is the theme, or meaning, of a story. It is the moral message that comes through at the end. The noted writing teacher William Foster-Harris believed that all worthy stories can be explained as an exercise in “moral arithmetic.” In The Basic Formulas of Fiction he expressed it thus:

            Value 1 vs. Value 2 = Outcome

For example, Love vs. Ambition = Love. In other words, the value of love overcomes in the struggle against ambition. If one were writing a tragedy, the outcome would be the opposite, with ambition winning out at the cost of love.

This is true even if you write without a fleeting thought about theme. Your story willhave one, whether you’re conscious of it or not.

Each story has only one primary theme, which can also be stated as “Value X leads to Outcome Y.” James N. Frey says in How to Write a Damn Good Novel: “In fiction, the premise [or theme] is the conclusion of a fictive argument. You cannot prove two different premises in a nonfiction argument; the same is true for a fictive argument. Say the character ends up dead. How did it happen? He ended up dead because he tried to rob the bank. He tried to rob the bank because he needed money. He needed money because he wanted to elope. He wanted to elope because he was madly in love. Therefore, his being madly in love is what got him killed.”

So, “mad love leads to death” is the theme.

It is crucial, however, to realize that theme is played out through the characters in the story. In high school my son was tasked with a book report. He read (at my suggestion) Shane, the classic Western by Jack Schaeffer. One of the questions on his report sheet was to state the theme. He asked me for help, because he had never thought about books this deeply before.

With a little prodding, he was able to see that the homesteaders represented civilization, while the ranchers who hire gunmen represent brutality and lawlessness. Shane, of course, is the enigmatic figure who helps this moral equation become: “Civilization (a community of shared values) can overcome the forces of lawlessness.”

Look to the characters and what they are fighting for, and you will find the theme of your story.

But there is a common problem writers face when they have “something on their minds.” And that is simply that they often begin with a theme and try to force a story into it. This can result in a host of issues, among them:

  • Cardboard, one-dimensional characters
  • A preachy tone
  • Lack of subtlety
  • Story clichés

The way to avoid these is to remember: Characters in competition come before theme.

Always.

Develop your characters first—your hero, your villain, your supporting cast—and set them in a story world where their values, aims, and agendas will be in conflict. Create scenes where the struggles is vivid on the page.

Yes, you can have a theme in mind, but make it as wispy as a butterfly wing, and subject to change without notice. If you write truly about the characters, following the wants, needs, and desires, you’ll begin see the theme of your story emerge. At first it may be like the faint glow of a miner’s lamp deep in a dark cave. You may not have full illumination until the end, but it will be there.

So give your characters full, complex humanity, and then a passionate commitment to their own set of values. Even the villain. No, especially the villain. All villains (or antagonists) think they are right, and they are the drivers of the plot.

James Scott Bell—August 13, 2023

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  1. Do you think about your novel’s theme?
  2. What’s your approach to theme? Do you discover it before beginning your novel, or after you’ve drafted it?
  3. How much does your theme grow out of your characters?

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This is my final post of 2025. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season filled with light and life. I’ll see you in the new year.

Building a Mystery

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For years, my library colleagues would ask when I was going to write that library mystery. Afterall, I read mysteries, was a writer, and worked at library, so it seemed like a natural fit to them. While I thought about it I continued writing fantasy and science fiction.

Finally, in 2020, after I’d retired from the library, the desire to write a cozy library mystery novel grabbed me. As I finished the final novel in my Empowered series, I read a bunch more mysteries of all sorts, from Matthew Scudder to more Agatha Christie to Sara Rosett’s Murder on Location cozy series.

I also read books on writing mysteries: Mystery Writers of America’s How to Write a Mystery, How to Write Killer Fiction by Carolyn Wheat, our own KZB alum Nancy Cohen’s Writing the Cozy Mystery, Sara Rosett’s How to Outline a Cozy Mystery Workbook, as well as her Teachable course on writing cozies. Sara’s course also included interviews with cozy mystery authors like Lynn Cahoon and Anna Castle. I discovered very useful handouts at Castle’s website from a workshop she gave on mystery writing.

I read more mysteries, and watched mystery TV series like Midsomer Murders, Elementary, Monk, the new Father Brown series, Perry Mason, and Columbo.

My published fantasy novels had crime and mystery elements, so writing an actual murder mystery should be a snap, right?

I wasn’t surprised it wasn’t that easy. I consider actual mystery novels to be one of the hardest types of fiction to write, and took the challenge seriously, which was a good thing. From the time I began outlining my first library cozy mystery, then called Death Due, until I published the final version, A Shush Before Dying, over two years had passed. I wrote three different versions, with numerous outlines. I did a deep dive into upping my revision game after finishing the first draft.

The second book in the series, Book Drop Dead came faster, being completed in year.

I’m an outliner, who, once upon a time, discovery wrote (AKA “pantsed”) his novels. For me, figuring out story structure was the secret that unlocked being able to create a story that worked. Mysteries were no different.

Cozy mysteries, like other mysteries, usually center around a murder. For me, that meant learning who the murderer was, and why they committed the crime, before outlining the book. I began each book by creating an electronic document file which became a novel journal where I could brainstorm about the mystery, the killer’s shadow story (something I learned from our own James Scott Bell), spin out the web of suspects, background notes, and simple outlines I could flesh out later.

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Mystery foundation

These make up the foundation of the mystery I’m building, and key to my process is asking myself questions about each.

Killer: Who and why? What lead them to kill, and why did they murder the victim? How do they react when they learn they are being investigated by our sleuth-hero?

The Victim: Often someone who is despicable in at least some of the time, and often at the center of a conflict, but they can be something other than a jerk—quirky perhaps, misunderstood, or even a good person who ran afoul of a killer. What was their relationship with the killer?

The setting: the location and community where the murder takes place. For my own cozy mystery, the setting was easy: the public library. I wanted the era to be the 1980s, when I began my at-first accidental career. This was the library before the Internet, when the card catalog ruled and staff used “dumb” terminals to check out books, stamping the date dues on a label on a page at the front of the book.

The public library then and now is a community in its own right, as well as a meeting ground for other communities, which provide opportunities for all sorts of situations and characters. How does the setting shape the murder, and the investigation?

The sleuth-hero: What pushes them to investigate the murder instead of leaving it to the police? Amateur sleuths are often nosy, curious, driven to solve puzzles. This describes my librarian-sleuth Meg Booker. The hero may be motivated to solve the crime because of personal concern if a friend is the suspect or survival if they themselves fall under suspicion.

In other cases, it may be the sense that thing about the murder doesn’t fit the facts as the police see them. The hero must have a reason to investigate and discovering that reason is vital. In cozy mystery the reason is often personal. The sleuth may have a connection to the victim, or to the person the police believe is the killer, as is the case in my first Meg Booker mystery.

The Web of Suspects:  For me an ideal number of suspects is five to seven. The motivations can be similar, but it helps build the mystery if at least some have different motives for murder. For instance, two suspects might both be rivals with the murder victim for a job promotion, while three more have possible motives unrelated to the day job.

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Plotting

The next thing I like to tackle is my story structure. I’m a fan of our own James Scott Bell’s signposts, such as the opening Disturbance, the Doorway to Act II, and especially the Mirror Moment. I brainstorm how the murder plays out, how the sleuth’s investigation begins and progresses, and what the killer does in response.

I’m an outliner, so I began putting the mystery into a beat outline, with sign posts marked and key scenes laid out. I’ll do additional brainstorming in a novel journal, a separate electronic document.

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The Arc of Suspicion

I also work out what I call “the arc of suspicion,” which is the sleuth-hero and readers progression in who they suspect committed the crime. I posted about this here. I’m going to crib from that earlier post and share the beats of the suspicion arc. I don’t necessarily write all these out, but keep them in mind as the story progresses, brainstorming as needed:

  1. The arc begins with noticing something is off about someone’s behavior, or a set of circumstances.
  2. Doubt ensues.
  3. Then, discovering “evidence” which increases suspicion. This can be an overheard conversation, reading a note or email, seeing a meeting without hearing what is being said, looking at a pattern of behavior, perhaps behavior out of character for the suspect, etc.
  4. Discovering a lie, or a false alibi can heighten suspicion.
  5. There can be a deepening fixation on a suspect’s behavior, words, deeds, and trying to figure out what they were thinking, why they did what they did, etc.
  6. Acting on that suspicion to the point of taking risks and putting yourself in potential jeopardy. This often precedes the confrontation/reveal in the final act of a mystery.
  7. Given that mysteries usually have multiple suspects, there will be a point where the sleuth (and the reader) rule out a person because of evidence, alibi, or learning what the secret was that made a particular individual act suspicious to the main character.
  8. Of course, heroes and readers often suspect more than one character at the same time, so the arcs can overlap. Sometimes the behavior or evidence is one thing, which leads to doubt about a particular person. Doubt which might deepen to suspicion or might simmer in the background. Or, even forgotten for the moment, until the end, when new evidence makes the sleuth suddenly suspect that person with a cold-in-the-bones feeling.
  9. Finally, the sleuth’s suspicions lead to the actual killer and/or can lead the killer to them.

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Drafting

As I write the first draft, I’ll come up with new ideas, clues etc., and, if they make the grade, will add them to my outline.

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Revision and feedback

Revision is where I work to fix plot holes, add missing clues, clarify motives if needed, along with the usual revision tasks of improving scenes, pacing, characterization, setting details etc. I then send the revised novel to my beta readers, who give me invaluable feedback on whether the mystery worked for them, where they were surprised, if they guessed the identity of the murderer, etc. I then make any additional changes based their feedback.

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The resources which helped me learn how to build a mystery

Nancy Cohen’s Writing the Cozy Mystery. Nancy’s book provides an instructive break down of the elements of a cozy mystery.

Sara Rosett’s How to Outline a Cozy Mystery. Rosett  gives the building blocks of a cozy mystery, as well as different outlining methods, tips on clues and red-herrings, conventions of cozies etc. While Rosett’s online course on writing a cozy mystery appears to be no longer available, the book still is.

Carolyn Wheat How to Write Killer Fiction. Wheat looks “the funhouse of mystery” as well as the “rollercoaster of thriller,” and reading the book gives a useful comparison between the two as well as the elements of each.

Hallie Ephron Writing and Selling Your Mystery Novel. Ephron’s book is a deep dive into the elements of mystery, looking at plotting, characters, mystery, sense of place, revision, as well as advice on publishing, both traditional and self-publishing.

Mystery Writers of America How to Write a Mystery. A collection of essays by mystery masters also covers the different aspects of mystery fiction.

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So, this is how I build a mystery. If you write mysteries, what tips you do have?