IKEA for Writers

IKEA for writers? What could the international home furnishing chain possibly offer writers except for maybe an Utespelare desk, a Hattefjall chair, or a Roodflik lamp? Lots, it turns out, if you tap into the IKEA dictionary.

I think the quirky and almost unpronounceable (for an English-Canadian like me) names in the unofficial dictionary are a treasure trove of ideas for slipping foreign words here and there into your writing, whatever that may be; satire, mystery, humor, romance, fantasy/sci-fi, comedy, and even poetry.

What’s the IKEA dictionary you ask? Well, here’s the opening from the website Lar5.com/ikea/index/html:

Part of what makes IKEA unique is their product names. Each name means something, often in a funny or ambigious way. When IKEA went international, they decided to use the same Swedish names everywhere. This makes sense from an organizational sanity standpoint, but it deprives most of the world of this particular joy.

Until now!

IKEA product names fall into a few main groups.
 Proper Swedish words.
 Improper Swedish words. IKEA laughs at the ‘rules’ of human language!
 First names. Mostly Swedish, some Scandinavian, occasional exotic names.
Geographical names. Swedish, Danish, Norwegian or Finnish. Yes, there are patterns. Here is a map of all 320 places
 A few names that defy categorization.
? Mystery names I haven’t figured out… Currently 130 out of 1362 names.

We’ll have some Sveedish fun with IKEA names in a moment and maybe build a 25-piece junk drawer starter set using only surplus IKEA specialized fasteners and their unique tools. First, let’s look at who this IKEA guy is.

IKEA is huge. There are 470 stores worldwide, employing 219,000 people, and having a 2023 income of over 51 billion USD. They are privately held so no market cap figure is known—possibly five times gross revenue. Maybe 250 billion?

Ingvar Kamprad founded IKEA in 1943. He had a one-person business in Smaland, Sweden where he personally built practical and affordable home furnishings. As Kamprad grew and franchised his business, he retained control of the designs and the product names. It appears Kamprad had a good sense of humor. How about these IKEA product names:

Fartfull — Means “speedy” in Swedish and it’s a children’s workbench.

Jerker— Means nothing but it’s tagged on a line of desks.

Knappa — Means “button” and it’s fitting for a cardboard camera.

Duktig — Means “clever” and it’s appropriate for creative toys.

Hassleklocka — Means “witch hazel” and belongs on a floral duvet cover.

Let’s page through the IKEA dictionary and build some interesting combinations of nouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs. How about this tray of Swedish meatballs?

Hessum. Agnaryd, Charmor. Ekarp. As in, “He was a hessum agnaryd with a charmor ekarp.”

Jubilar. Magasin. Orrlott. Ringum. As in, “She was always a jubilar magasin devoid of orlott ringum.”

Skribent. Ung. Vistofta. Pax. As in. “They are nothing more than skribent ung passing off as vistofa pax.”

You get the bild. (That’s Swedish for “picture”.) And if you’re wondering what IKEA means in Swedish. I dug this up:

IKEA is an acronym that stands for “Ingvar Kamprad Elmtaryd Agunnaryd.” The name comes from the founder of the company, Ingvar Kamprad, who started IKEA in Sweden in 1943. “Elmtaryd” refers to the farm where he grew up, and “Agunnaryd” is the name of his hometown in Småland, southern Sweden. The name reflects the company’s roots in the Swedish countryside.

Kill Zoners — Plunge into the IKEA dictionary, haul out some words, and make a sentence. Go ahead and be kreativ.

Hallows Eve — Great Writing & Great Voice

I’ve contributed to the Kill Zone for around three years now. It’s a unique publishing platform where a regular contributor has free rein—carte blanche—to submit whatever they please provided they keep it clean and refrain from sex, religion, or politics. That’s it. Pretty wide open to decency.

Generally, we stick to the theme of thriller writing or somewhere in that arena. But sometimes we exercise creativity and explore whatever we like and feel others reading the blog would be interested in, too. Kind of a win-win/writer-reader relationship.

As a creative writer (read that someone who loves making stuff up), I’m acutely aware of the terms “great writing” and “great voice”. Being subjective, I leave that evaluation on my stuff up to readers, however I’m entitled to pass great writing and great voice judgements on others.

Trust me. I’m going somewhere with this.

The other day, I was e-yakking with another Kill Zone contributor. Let’s call her Debbie Burke. Debbie said, “You’re up for a post on Halloween. Are you gonna write something spooky?”

I gave that some thought. What came to mind was the spookiest true crime case I ever heard of. In fact, it happened to me when I was a homicide detective. This guy hid in his ex-girlfriend’s attic for two and a half days with an ax. He crawled down at 3:00 am and chopped her and her new lover to death.

I wrote a book on it. You can download In The Attic for free on all the e-tailers. It’s my lead magnet for an 8-part, based-on-true-crime series.

But that spooky work has already been done. As I tumbled the idea about the polisher of my mind, an earworm crawled in and wouldn’t let go. It was the tune and some of the words to Hallows Eve written and sung by Rachelle (Elle) Cordova, aka Reina del Cid.

If you don’t know of this lady with the great writing and the great voice, then you need to get to know her. Elle and Toni Lundgren started out as a cover duet. Now with over 400 Youtubes made, Elle is creating original work. In my humble opinion, aka IMHO, the writing in Hallows Eve is only outperformed by Elle’s song delivery. Here are the lyrics and a link to watching her video:

Note: Full attribution is given to Rachelle Cordova for the lyrics and performance. There is absolutely no financial or other gain on my part for posting this.

Throughout the year

We shrink from our fear

Hide from our demons

Till the daylight appears

But on one hallowed night

When the moon is just right

We seek out the darkness

Welcome the fright

chorus

On this Hallows Eve

I’ll make friends with the ghosts

I’ll gather the monsters

And raise up a toast

A feast for the ages and I’ll be the host

So come one, come all this Halloween

Come one, come all this year

verse

I’ll start with the monster

From under my bed

Though we haven’t spoken

Since I was a kid

And I’ll tell him to bring all his scariest friends

The famous and the feared

Come one, come all this year

verse

We’ll fling the message far

To the goblins where they are

From the vampires in the East

To the garden of the Beast

chorus

Now it’s Halloween night

And the ghouls have arrived

The werewolves of London

The ghosts of Versailles

If you invite Jekyll you also get Hyde

The demented and the dear

But come one, come all this year

chorus

Godzilla is picking a fight with King-Kong

And Medusa and Hydra just don’t get along

It so happens the Kraken is gifted in song

And he sings them all to cheer

Come one, come all this year

verse

The bogles and banshees are briefly ensnared

By the Boogeyman’s pageant of cheap party scares

And Rochester’s wife is descending the stairs

“My god,” she says through tears

“I’m not alone this year!”

chorus

The Sirens play guitar

For the gargoyles at the bar

They pass the spirits round

As the Triffids hand them down

Quasimodo is only a ringer of bells

And the witches of Salem don’t know any spells

Boo Radley would gladly just keep to himself

So let’s pour them all a beer

Come one, come all this year

bridge

Bigfoot and Grendel though transcontinental

Are sharing a moment that’s quite sentimental

And the great chupacabra lights his candelabra

And dances ’till first morning light

outro

Daybreak arrives with the fading of ghosts

And Count Dracula is the last one to go

I bid him farewell and I hand him his coat

And with a wink he says, “My dear

We’ll meet again next year, don’t you fear

Come one, come all next year!”

Kill Zoners — What do you think? Hallows Eve – Great writing & great voice or what?

What the Book Industry Will Look Like a Decade from Now

I follow a Substack hosted by Ted Gioia (pronounced Joy-yah). Ted is a thought leader who’s been around fifty working years. Primarily, he’s in the music industry as a performer, composer, and critic. However, Ted Gioia is an exceptional writer with an amazing ability to grasp complex subjects and clearly break them into comprehensible components.

A few days ago, Ted published a Substack article titled My 9 Predictions: What the Music Industry Will Look Like a Decade from Now. Here’s an infograph outlining his predictions.

I read his article several times, and it struck me the same thing goes with the book industry. It’s a close parallel, for sure. It got me thinking to take the infograph and substitute words. Replace:

Record labels and music companies with book publishers.

Artists and musicians with writers.

Music and playlists with books.

Music industry with book publisher.

Listeners with readers.

Live music with print books.

Come to think of it, these 9 predictions about books could have been made a decade ago and are realizing now.

Kill Zoners — Thoughts? Comments?

The Seven Habits of Highly Ineffective Writers

I’m sure most folks are aware of the highly successful, self-help/motivational book titled The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change written by the late Stephen R. Covey. Certainly, most writers know the work because most writers are highly motivated, avid readers who want to be effective. At least we like to think we are. 🙂

Jane Friedman recently published an interesting guest post on her blog written by Joni B. Cole. It’s called The 7 Habits of Highly Ineffective Writers: Powerful Lessons in Personal Sabotage. I felt Ms. Cole made seven great effective, ineffective writing points that (mis) aligned with Covey’s hit. I’m pleased to link it here.

In reviewing Stephen Covey’s original book, he isolated these points:

Habit 1 — Be proactive.

Habit 2 — Begin with the end in mind.

Habit 3 — Put first things first.

Habit 4 — Think win-win.

Habit 5 — Seek first to understand and then be understood.

Habit 6 — Synergize.

Habit 7 — Sharpen the saw.

In Joni Cole’s article, she points out mistakes that writers—emerging and seasoned—repeatedly make. That’s from being overly sensitive to feedback, not having a clear vision, procrastination, wasting time and energy, trying too hard to satisfy, not listening, being too self critical, and over-sharpening the saw.

To quote Cole, “While highly effective people seek a balanced program of self-improvement to renew their edge, highly ineffective writers are determined to make their saws so sharp they inevitably drive themselves right over the edge.”

Kill Zoners — Take a few minutes and read Joni B. Cole’s post on Jane Friedman’s site. Then drop back and leave a comment. Do you see a bit of yourself in this piece? I sure see myself in one spot.

Intelligence: IQ vs EQ

There’s a world of difference between book smarts and street smarts—between braininess and savvy. The first has its place, but the second is much more useful. Being smart is the ability to logically think things out. Being sharp is the ability to tune into the world, to read situations, and positively connect with others while taking charge of your own life.

What is intelligence?

Intelligence has been defined in many different ways such as your capacity for logic, abstract thought, understanding, self-awareness, communication, learning, emotional knowledge, memory, planning, creativity, and problem solving.

Where intelligence comes from is anybody’s guess. Maybe it’s something that’s designed into us, possibly imbedded in our brain through DNA. I’m a believer in the concept of infinite intelligence which is the basis of Napoleon Hill’s masterpiece on human achievement in Think And Grow Rich. If you haven’t read T&GR, here’s the link. If you have read it, go read it again.

Intelligence has long been measured in a quotient called IQ. It’s different from a measure of your ability to control your emotions which is called EQ—a much more difficult thing to measure.

Most average adults have an IQ around 100 on the Stanford–Binet Intelligence Scale. The MENSA club requires members to be in the top 98 percentile which sets the bar at 132. According to the Guinness Book of Records, the “smartest” person in the world was Marilyn vos Savant, who scored 185. Probably the most intelligent person who ever existed was Leonardo da Vinci who’s been estimated at around 220.

Conversely, mental “retardation” used to be divided into sub-classifications, but these labels are officially obsolete due to political correctness: Borderline Deficiency (IQ 70-80), Moron (IQ 50-69), Imbecile (IQ 20-49) and Idiot (below 20). I’ve dealt with a few in my policing career who rated around 15, and I have my own term for that classification.

So, what about emotional smarts?

I have a great book called The EQ Edge by Steven J. Stein, Ph.D. and Howard E. Book, M.D. I’ll steal their definition of EQ.

Emotional Quotient is the set of skills that enable us to make our way in a complex world—the personal, social and survival aspects of overall intelligence, the elusive common sense and sensitivity that are essential to effective daily functioning. It has to do with the ability to read the political and social environment, and landscape them; to intuitively grasp what others want and need, what strengths and weaknesses are; to remain unruffled by stress; and to be engaging. The kind of person others want to be around and will follow.

Sophisticated mapping techniques in brain research have recently confirmed that many thought processes pass through our emotional centers as they take the psychological journey that converts outside information from infinite intelligence into individual response and action.

God only knows where infinite intelligence comes from.

Kill Zoners — Have you ever taken an IQ test? Do you think they have any merit? And what about EQ? What’s your take on that concept?

Twenty-One Cognitive Tools For Making Smarter Decisions

Mental models are fascinating exercises. They’re not just for geeks and shelf-help junkies. They’re for anyone who wants to sharpen their cognitive awareness.

Recently, I discovered a group called Thinknetic. They have a great line of learning materials including a visual display titled Break Your Thinking Patterns – 21 Timeless Cognitive Tools to Make Smarter Decisions.

This short pot of gold covers good stuff like Socratic Questions, Logical Fallacies, Cognitive Biases, Cognitive Distortions, Heuristics, and Mental Models.

Here are six screenshots of their infographics.

Kill Zoners – Are any of these familiar? Are these models useful in your day-to-day world? Have you applied them? Don’t be shy about commenting!

Photo ID May Now be Required to Publish on Amazon KDP

I was going to write a different post for the Kill Zone today, but a message had just popped into my inbox. It was from the Alliance of Independent Authors (ALLI), and it was an important announcement concerning publishing on Amazon KDP. Strangely, I didn’t hear anything directly from Amazon about this significant access change, but coming from ALLI I knew it was trustworthy. I felt this was important enough to share with fellow writers and self publishers as you may find yourself locked out of KDP and have no idea why. Here’s a copy of Amazon’s announcement.

Identity Verification for KDP

July 30, 2024

KDP is committed to providing legitimate authors and publishers with a trustworthy, enjoyable publishing experience. In order to further protect that experience, we’re introducing Identity Verification for KDP. Beginning today, KDP authors and publishers may be prompted to submit a photo of their government-issued identification which we’ll match against their current account information. We take privacy seriously, and we handle personal information in accordance with Amazon’s Privacy Notice and delete all identity documents after the ID verification process is complete. Once the match is confirmed, authors and publishers will be able to proceed with using their KDP account.

We will continue to develop technology and tools that maintain a high bar for the publishing and bookstore experience and that allow us to maintain the wide selection of titles that we offer to customers.

Thank you for being a part of the KDP community.

FAQ

Q: What is Identity Verification?
Identity Verification is one of many tools for providing authors and publishers with a trustworthy, enjoyable KDP experience, and for protecting KDP readers from fraud and abuse. With Identity Verification, some KDP authors and publishers may be prompted to submit their government-issued identification, which we’ll match against their account information. When that match is confirmed, those publishers will be able to proceed with using their KDP account as normal. All identity documents are deleted after the ID verification process is complete.

Q: Will all KDP publishers need to submit some form of ID?
At this time, only some publishers will be prompted to complete Identity Verification. Identify Verification will expand to more authors over time.

Q: What are you doing to protect publishers’ privacy?
We understand the importance of protecting publisher and author privacy and security, and personal information is treated in accordance with Amazon’s privacy and security policies. For further information, Amazon’s Privacy Notice is available here. All identity documents are deleted after the ID verification process is complete.

Q. What will you do with the ID information you collect?
All identity documents are deleted after the ID verification process is complete.

Q. How will I be prompted and how much time is there to respond?
You will be prompted to verify your identity via an “Identity Verification Required” account banner and an email notification. Once prompted, you will be asked to respond by the date that is in the email and account banner.

Q. What will happen to the account and content of a publisher who does not verify their identity?
If a Publisher is unable to verify their identity, they may pursue our appeals process. If we are not able to verify a publisher’s identity, we may close their KDP account and remove their titles from sale.

Q. Why are you launching this now?
Identity Verification will reduce abuse by bad actors, which will have a positive impact on customers’ book-buying experience.

Kill Zoners – Has anyone else experienced this change on Amazon KDP?

The 100-Block Time Management Tool

It’s the Fourth of July. Happy Independence Day to all my American friends and colleagues. Although I’m Canadian, I’ve spent a lot of time in the US—visiting or passing through 37 of the 50 states. I must say, I’ve never had a bad experience in America, and I look forward to the next trip which is to Chicago and taking the Amtrak down the Mississippi to New Orleans.

I was going to write something unique for today’s Kill Zone contribution but I’m going to cheat and recirculate a piece I recently published on my own site at Dyingwords.net. It’s about a time management tool I tried out. Here goes:

There’s only one area where we humans are truly equal. Time. Each of us are given exactly the same amount of time in our day. 24 hours. 60 minutes. 60 seconds. It’s how we use, track, and manage our time that sets us apart. Think of what you could accomplish with your time, and your energy, if you were able to supercharge your schedule with the game-changing 100 blocks strategy.

This strategy of dividing your waking time into 100, 10-minute blocks and tracking it comes from Tim Urban. Tim is a thought leader and prolific writer who hosts the popular website Wait But Why. I’ve followed Tim Urban for years, and I find him a fascinating man. One of his posts was titled 100 Blocks a Day. With credit to Tim for the images and graphs, I’ll paraphrase and personalize the content.

You probably sleep 7 to 8 hours per night. That leaves you with about 1,000 active minutes in your day. If you break that into 10-minute intervals, you isolate 100, 10-minute blocks.

Click Here or on the Image to Print This Graph

Throughout your day, you spend your time progressing through the 100 squares of blocks. When you wake, you’re in the first block and you run out of blocks when you go to bed. By stepping back and looking at what you’ve done in each block, you gain immense clarity from which you can supercharge your schedule.

By time tracking with blocks, we can readily see where we’ve been productive and where we weren’t. We can see time management efficiency, or we can see a complete waste of this priceless resource called time. We can see where to cut back and where to double down.

Ask yourself if each time-block furthered your definite purpose in life and which block was merely enjoyed for its moment. Ask if each block was a time gain or a time suck. Ask if each block allowed you to constantly create, to continue to consume, or to just comfortably cruise.

If you imagine your time blocks laid out on a 10×10 grid, you’d get a total screenshot of your day. How much of it was spent at work, and how much of that work time was productive and necessary? Or unnecessary? How much of your leisure time was worth the lack of effort? How much of your family time and friend time was enjoyed? And what really mattered in your day?

Graphing and tracking time blocks let you think about everything you spend your time on in context of value per 10-minute block. Preparing dinner might take 3 to 6 blocks. Ordering in takes none. Meditation might take 1 block and a yoga session 3 blocks. Ask what the dollar-per-hour or return-on-investment might be.

2 blocks of reading per evening might add 15 books per year to your mental library. Writing a novel might take 20 blocks per day and researching/writing/formatting/publishing something like this 675-word post takes 23 blocks or 3.8 hours. I know because I tracked it on the 100-block graph.

As part of this post, I recorded my entire day from the time I awoke to the time I shut down. I’ve always kept a journal and loosely tracked my time, but this was the first crack at being so detailed. Here’s a screenshot of my 10-minute time blocks for June 28, 2024.

I have to say this exercise was enlightening. It made me focus intently as I moved from morning to night. In my writing/content producing world, I have a massive project underway called City Of Danger. It’s in its third year of production, and it’ll be a year or two more before release because the delivery technology is under development. From this point forward, I’m going to religiously track the City Of Danger production time with the 100 block strategy. I’m curious if I’ve finally found something that can increase my focus and productivity.

Tim Urban of Wait But Why has three more insightful graphs. One is a 90-year period of human life in years. One is a 90-year period of human life in months. The other is a 90-year period of human life in weeks. Feel free to download them and begin plotting your blocks, supercharging your schedule, and changing your game.

Kill Zoners—Have you heard of this 100-block thing? Do you have a time management system that you use? Or, do you find that trying to track and manage time is just a waste of time? Comments please.

The Suggestion Box

Rita (my wife) works in a grocery store. Last week, her department manager thought it’d be a good idea to implement a suggestion box. It wasn’t.

Suggestion boxes, by nature, are supposed to be suggestive. Helpful, even if critical. They’re also supposed to be anonymous. In this case, one suggestion wasn’t respected as anonymous.

The suggestion was something about how to improve scheduling, and the department manager took it as a personal slight. They recognized the suggester’s handwriting and called that worker out. Not just in front of the staff, but also in front of customers.

Rita, being a Cancer, intervened and settled things down. And down came the suggestion box, but not before the damage was done. The berated worker laid a complaint to HR, and the disciplinary genie is out of the bottle. Or better put, the laundry is out of the hamper.

What’s this got to do with us here at the Kill Zone? Well, as writers, we have a suggestion box open all the time. It can be in the comment section following a post. It can be feedback from beta readers. Or, it can be online reviews on our book publishing sites.

I moderate my comments on my personal blog site. I nix the odd Negative Nellie, but if someone has a valid point that disagrees with my content, I’ll let it stand. Often, I’ll learn something.

I no longer work with beta readers. Very few ever came through and, if they did, the feedback wasn’t particularly helpful. It just wasn’t worth the time and the effort.

I have a friend whose wife is an A-List romance writer. She gave me advice early in my game. “Don’t read your reviews,” she said. “The 1-Stars are trolls. The 5-Stars are suck-ups. And the ones in-between never have useful suggestions.”

Suggestions.

Kill Zoners — How do you deal with suggestions? Good, bad, or indifferent? Feel free to suggest.

Mental Models — A Latticework of Critical Thinking

A mental model is a compression of how something works. Any idea, belief, or concept can be distilled down. Like a map, mental models reveal key information while ignoring irrelevant details. Models concentrate the world into understandable and useable chunks.

This quote is from Shane Parrish who hosts a fascinating blog and podcast called Farnam Street. I’ve subscribed to Shane’s site for years and look forward to his weekly newsletter that arrives every Sunday morning. It’s free, but you can purchase a more in-depth dive for only a few bucks a month. It’s worth every nickel.

An extensive piece that Shane put together is titled Mental Models: The Best Way to Make Intelligent Decisions (~ 100 Models Explained) that deals with thought experiments. He covers a vast array of subjects like Circle of Competence, Reciprocity, First Principle Thinking, Second Order Reasoning, Inversion, Probabilistics, Inertia, Leverage, Compounding, and Entropy. Here’s the link: https://fs.blog/mental-models/

This is a short submission to the Kill Zone today. I’m on vacation and traveling for most of this Thursday. I can’t respond to comments till about noon PST, but I wanted to generate discussion around critical thinking and how it applies to our work as writers.

Who has heard of mental models and the latticework of integration into thought processing? Has anyone else tapped into Shane Parrish and his Farnam Street world? And who develops characters (like Sherlock Holmes) who use woven or latticed mental models in their thinking? Comments, please.  🙂