Clichés: Avoid Them Like The…
Well, You Know

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By PJ Parrish

You can learn a lot about writing fiction from watching football. I figured this out recently after bingeing on both the NFL and college playoffs. (Yes, I have no life but it’s really, really cold here right now. Plus it gives me an excuse to eat potato chips and drink Dr Pepper spiked with Southern Comfort before five, so don’t judge me).

What you can learn from football is pretty simple:

  • Always keep moving downfield. (Don’t keep rewriting chapter 1)
  • Have a good game plan. (Outline your story. ie be a wily plotter)
  • If you don’t have a good game plan, be quick on your feet and don’t be afraid to just chuck the rock downfield and see what happens. (Go where the story takes you. ie be an artful pantser)
  • Run north and south, not east and west. (Don’t get distracted by subplots)
  • Surround yourself with good guys. (Character developement is everything)
  • If you drop the ball, get up and get back in the game. (you painted yourself into a plot corner. Your character sucks. Boo hoo. Get back in there and fix it.)

But maybe the best thing I’ve learned from watching football that’s helped me in writing is this:

Stop with the clichés, already!

I watch a lot of sports, but I have to say football has to be the worst when it comes to really stale commentary. While watching the playoffs, I started to write some of the bad ones down. From my list:

  • They haven’t got all their weapons. (too many injuries).
  • You gotta go with what’s working. (not sure what that means)
  • He’s hearing footsteps. (the receiver got spooked and dropped the ball)
  • They get points the old fashioned way — up the middle. (they run alot)
  • It’s gonna come back to haunt them. (missed the extra point)
  • He’s got alligator arms. (wide receiver didn’t make the catch)
  • They beat themselves.

And the saddest one:

  • There’s no tomorrow.

I actually heard Tony Romo use that one. I did hear one phrase I liked that I had never heard before. Vikings QB Sam Darnold fumbled and a Rams rookie defender scooped the ball up and ran it 57 yards for a TD. The commentator said, “He got a room service bounce.”  Your eggs Benedict is here, sir.

All right, all right. I hear you. No more football talk. Okay, so I will talk about the book I am reading right now. It’s been on my to-read shelf ever since I brought it back from the Edgars a couple years ago. It was a nominee and it’s pretty good. But then things started to go, well, south. (cliché!)

I began to notice there were clichés creeping into the narrative. Like this: “It was a perfect storm of bad investigative techniques and lazy-assity.”

Now, I kind of liked the lazy-assity thing, but “a perfect storm?” A couple chapters later, he referred to a suspect roundup as “picking the low hanging fruit.” After that, I got distracted because I started to search for more clichés. And they came: eagle-eyed,” “burning question,” “at the crack of dawn,” “sick as a dog,” “uphill battle.”

Now, these are all sort of venial, the kind of everyday phrases we all slip into. Nothing as bad as “When they sprayed the Luminol, the room lit up like a Christmas tree.” But they aren’t fresh, and when it comes to fiction, shouldn’t we all be asking more of ourselves?

I have to stop and make a distinction here. Sometimes, it’s okay to toss in a cliché in dialogue. Characters have to talk like real people, and having a guy SAY he woke up “sick as dog” may not be the most sparkling dialogue, but it has a place, if you’re trying to show the character isn’t the…pardon me…sharpest knife in the drawer. But in narrative, I can’t give writers a pass for stuff like “He was ready to take the plunge.”

I’m going to finish reading the book because the plot is tight and I like the anti-hero protag. But I wish this writer had worked just a little harder on the small potatoes. (cliché!) It’s not his first book and it won’t be his last, because he’s talented. Which is why I am asking for more from him.

Being original is maybe the hardest thing we have to do in writing. Keeping all the plates spinning in the air is hard — plot, voice, character, dialogue, pacing, subplots, secondary characters, sense of place, description. This is why using metaphors and similes is darn difficult. All the good ones have been taken already!

  • “The pain just increases like a violinist going up the E string. You think it can’t get any higher and it does–the pain’s like that, it rises and rises…” — John LeCarre.
  • “His smile was as stiff as a frozen fish.” — Raymond Chandler
  • “Sit down, Montag. Watch. Delicately, like the petals of a flower. Light the first page, light the second page. Each becomes a black butterfly. Beautiful, eh?” — Ray Bradbury.

The good ones aren’t all taken, not really. You have good metaphors and similes in you that not one other soul on earth can imagine. When you write, don’t settle for the dust on top. Dig deep to find what is unique in the way you see the world

But creating effective metaphors and similes is a topic for another day. I was going to write about that today but this post ran long. So let’s start with the easy stuff. For now, just go back into your work and find your little sins. Kill your not-so-darling cliches.

Get back in the game, crime dogs. Don’t leave anything on the field. Because there’s no tomorrow. Actually, for us writers there is, thank God. But don’t tell Tony Romo that.

Three Easy Fixes for Common Craft Problems

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Photo credit: Public domain

by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Author and professor William Kittredge once told me good writing should be like water—invisible. It should flow so smoothly that a reader becomes engaged in the story and forgets that they are reading.

Minor details can disrupt that flow. These small craft issues aren’t usually fatal, but they’re annoying to readers.

Often, the problems are unconscious habits the writer isn’t even aware of. The same habits tend to pop up all the way through a manuscript.

Fortunately, once the writer becomes aware of them, they’re easy fixes.

Today, let’s discuss three issues I run across frequently as a freelance editor.

  1. Attributions – Starting a scene or chapter with dialogue can work well to pull the reader into the story quickly. But often writers neglect to indicate who’s speaking until several lines (or longer) into the paragraph.

“The heist is in three weeks. We need to hack into their computer for the guard schedule, confirm the inventory, and decide which crates to take. The truck has to be rented using a fake ID. But that requires a commercial driver’s license. We also need someone who can operate a forklift,” John said to his teammates, Paul, George, and Ringo, who were gathered around the table.

 

If you begin with dialogue, place the attribution at or near the beginning of the passage. The reader shouldn’t have to wait a half page to find out who’s talking.

Attributions are especially important in scenes with multiple characters. Don’t make the reader guess which character is talking.

Said or asked are quick efficient tags that don’t draw attention to themselves. An action tag also works well to identify the speaker.

But don’t overdo it—use either a dialogue tag or an action tag, but not both.  

“I don’t like this one bit,” George said and shifted in his chair. “A commercial license is harder to fake.”

John stretched his arms over his head and said. “Well, figure it out because that’s how it’s going to be.”

“I can drive a forklift,” Ringo said.

Paul snorted. “You ran it into a wall last time.”

 

  1. Sentence chronology – By chronology, I’m referring to actions that don’t flow in a natural order.

The following example is understandable but far from clear. It requires the reader to jump back and forth in time to follow what’s happening.

Breathless and worried that something weird was going on, Joan flopped in a chair, weary from having climbed three flights of stairs after showing her ID to the security guard when she entered the office building. He had stared at her strangely.

She had asked, “Don’t you recognize my face by now? I’m here every day.”

Because the actions are out of chronological order, the reader must pause to mentally rearrange what happened and when it happened. For a second or two, the reader is distracted and pulled out of the story.

Revision with actions in order:

Joan entered the office building and started to pass the security desk.

“Wait.” The guard rose and blocked her way. “I need to see your ID, please.”

“Don’t you know me by now? I’m here every day.”

He stared at her, one eye squinted, hand extended.

She gave him her badge, but he barely glanced at it before giving it back.

Unsettled, Joan climbed three flights of stairs, growing more breathless with each step. In her cubicle, she flopped into a chair and gasped for air. Did the guard really not recognize her or was something weird going on?

 

  1. Summarize or dramatize.

Years ago in my critique group, a friend was writing her family’s history. She did extensive genealogical research that was interesting but not compelling.

One day, she read an excerpt to us:

My father was buried near the airport where he had crashed the plane.

That was it. No details.

We stared at her open-mouthed. “What crash? When? How?”

“Oh, he didn’t die then. He was on a test flight after an overhaul and a cable pulled loose. The plane went down but he walked away. He died years later from cancer. The cemetery just happened to be near the airport.”

She’d left out the meat of the story by summarizing two major life events into a single sentence.

We all laughed about that bare-bones summation. When she returned with a revision a few weeks later, she had dramatized those incidents into full-fledged scenes.

Recently I read a manuscript about a couple whose 15-year-old daughter has disappeared. The passage is about 20 pages long and I’ve summarized it here:

For years, Marsha and Phil have clashed about how to handle their daughter, who displays peculiar behavior. The girl has run away in the past. But this time, she’s been gone for weeks. They put up posters, contact police, register her with Missing and Exploited Children, etc. Months pass with each parent blaming the other for the daughter’s disappearance. The strain on their marriage becomes unbearable. Then…

When Phil told Marsha that he was moving out, she was relieved.

That’s all the author wrote. She summed up a huge turning point in one declarative sentence.

She had included more details about photocopying posters and the places where they nailed them up than about this sea change in their relationship.

Photo credit: public domain

Writers frequently describe day-to-day minutiae because they believe activities like tooth brushing and making toast bring the character to life. But too many insignificant details are boring. Elmore Leonard’s wise advice is to leave out the parts readers skip over.

The opposite problem is too little detail, like the plane crash example above.

Writers often rush through critical events that radically change the story’s direction.

As we review our stories, we need to identify important events or revelations.  

Dramatize those in scenes.

 We also need to identify unimportant events that fill pages but are only incidental to the story.

 Summarize those.

Summaries work well as transitions to move the story forward to the next turning point. Instead of a blow-by-blow explanation of what happens in the meantime, try summarizing it.

Marsha and Phil spent the next three months searching fruitlessly, making follow-up calls to numerous authorities, and nailing up hundreds of posters around town. They alternated between noisy arguments and silent recriminations. At night, Marsha paced the bedroom while Phil paced downstairs.

One April morning, Phil appeared in the bathroom doorway as Marsha was brushing her teeth.

“I’m moving out,” he said then walked back to the bedroom.

Toothpaste drooled from Marsha’s mouth as she stood frozen and numb, staring at the water-spotted mirror.

A few moments later, Phil reappeared in the reflection, suitcase in hand. “On my way out, I’ll put bread in the toaster for your breakfast.”

Footsteps thudded down the stairs, followed by a brief clattering of dishes. The kitchen door opened then closed.

Marsha was startled to realize her first conscious thought was, Thank God!  

 As you rewrite, keep an eye out for misplaced attributions; sentences that are not in chronological order; scenes that are summarized but should be dramatized, and overwritten scenes that can be reduced to summaries.

These small but significant differences make your writing flow like clear water.

~~~

TKZers: What small, annoying details irritate you when you read? What bothersome, unconscious habits pop up in your own writing?

~~~

Cover by Brian Hoffman

 

Clear waters turn murky when a greedy billionaire covets a cherry orchard on pristine Flathead Lake. Can investigator Tawny Lindholm and attorney Tillman Rosenbaum save the orchard owner after he’s accused of arson and murder?

Debbie Burke’s latest thriller Fruit of the Poisonous Tree is FREE on Kindle Unlimited.

Link

It’s Still and Always Will Be About the Book

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by James Scott Bell
@jamesscottbell

“The beautiful part of writing is that you don’t have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon.” – Robert Cormier

***

So there were these two authors back in the 1990s. The thriller market was exploding. An unpublished writer named Bell was studying the business and found stories about these authors. He decided to keep an eye on their moves. Maybe he could find out how to be a success at this game.

But the two writers did not experience the success they were looking for.

One of them spent a big bundle of his own money to jump start sales. But they didn’t jump. Reviews were tepid. His publisher let him go. Lesson learned: Gobs of promotion money wasn’t the magic key.

The other writer undertook a mammoth, self-planned tour of bookstores, with his car loaded with books. By this time young Bell had a couple of books out and signings set up with some stores close to home. At one store he found several of the energetic author’s books on the shelf. So he asked the manager how they were selling.

“Meh,” he said.

Lesson learned: A) human energy poured into hand selling is not the magic key; and B) “Meh” is not the response you want to hear.

The biggest takeaway should come as no surprise: Word-of-mouth is always the most important driver of success in the book business. Yes, even today, in the era (or should I say final day) of TikTok, it’s the book itself and how it lands with readers that is the key, magic notwithstanding.

A recent article in Jane Friedman’s Hot Sheet (subscription required) discussed the challenge of navigating book promotion in the “influencer age”:

Media fragmentation and the waning effects of the book review have entirely changed publicity. In its coverage of 25 Years of Changes to Book Publicity, Publishers Weekly wrote that, “For most of publishing history, there was one dominant mode of literary publicity: the book review.” For years now, book review outlets have disappeared, and the remaining professional reviews have declined in importance. In fact, a reporter for the New York Times has stated that a review in their pages doesn’t reliably sell copies. (One exception remains children’s books, which continue to rely on reviews.)

The challenge is particularly acute with fiction:

Although every publicity campaign is different, says Brittani Hilles, co-founder of Lavender Public Relations, “Generally, with nonfiction, you can bring media folks into the fold with the topic alone, while with fiction it often comes down to having media contacts trust your taste enough to dive into the read.”

There are some things that never change:

  • Your mom’s Wi-Fi password. She’s had it since 2010 and refuses to change it, even if the neighbors are stealing it.
  • That one coworker who “forgets” their wallet at lunch. They’ve been “forgetting” for years, but somehow always remember dessert.
  • The one sock that goes missing in the laundry, a universal mystery that not even quantum physics can explain.
  • The speed of the checkout line you choose. No matter what, it’s always the slowest.
  • The way your pet acts like it’s never eaten before. Despite being fed at the same time every single day, they’re convinced they’re moments from starvation.

And for books, as Celina Spiegel, co-CEO of Spiegel & Grau, explains, “The book has to be a book that people actually want to read. And no one can make someone like a book.”

So yes, market away to the best of your cost and ability and ROI. Even if you hate it. But most of all, every day, work on getting better at your craft. Surgeons do. Plumbers do. Bomb defusers most certainly do. Why should writers think they’re exempt?

Can you think of a reason?

Looking Out My Window

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Wearing sensible shoes and a dress with the hem only a few inches above the floor, stuffy old Mrs. Murphy stepped from behind her desk and scanned the room full of bored high school juniors. I figured she couldn’t see me, because my buddy Gary Selby and I practiced the now lost art of Classroom Invisibility.

We developed that carefully honed skill by sitting still as posts in our fifth grade math class seven years earlier, and wishing ourselves invisible for an hour a day, every day, in the hope that Miss Exum wouldn’t call on us to work a New Math problem on the blackboard. After the authorities abandoned arithmetic the year before, I was a lost soul wondering exactly how letters and symbols forced themselves into simple and understandable numbers and fractions.

Each time Miss Exum called our fellow inmates to the board for their fair share of torture, Gary and I remained perfectly still and willed ourselves to blend into the back of the room. We became one with the scarred, wooden desks so old they had inkwell holes in the upper right-hand corner of the writing surface.

In fact, at the end of that year when we rose to leave math class on the last day of school, Miss Exum was shocked to see that the desks had been occupied at all.

This camouflage worked just as well years later in English class, and Miss Murphy’s eyes skipped across the room. “Now that we’ve completed this section on Emily Bronte, your assignment for the weekend is a five-page report on the topic assigned specifically for each of you. Write these down please as I read the titles. Carolyn Anderson, your paper is entitled, A Discussion of the Victorian Themes in Jayne Eyre.”

Since my name was spelled and pronounced differently than Carolyn, and I had no idea what she was talking about, I drifted off into anticipation of a squirrel hunt I’d been promised for the next day. As imaginary bushytails scampered through my empty head, Miss Murphy went through her alphabetical list of tortures until she finally came to the last two.

“Gary Selby. Social Class Separation in Wuthering Heights.”

He groaned beside me. “I only read the comic book version.”

She frowned at the two empty desks in the back and finally located him. “Selby, have you been here all this period?”

“All semester.”

“You’re out of order on my rolls.”

“Wish I could help.”

She glowered in our general direction. “That just added a page to your report, mister.”

I grinned. “Smooth move, Ex Lax.”

She heard me and checked her class roll again. “Humm. Wortham.”

We made eye contact for the first time that year. “Yes ma’am.”

“I don’t recognize you.”

“It’s me. Five foot two. Brown hair and eyes.”

“Doesn’t ring a bell. Maybe you should do something to make yourself distinctive.”

“I’ll grow a handlebar mustache.”

“That would work.”

I went to work on it as she considered her notes. “Your paper will be titled, The Significance of Windows in Wuthering Heights. All right class, I’ll need those on my desk when you come into class on Monday.”

The bell rang and we disappeared like puffs of smoke.

I went hunting the next morning with the Old Man and finished Saturday off by hanging out with my cousin. Sunday arrived and I squirmed beside my grandmother on a hard church pew, vaguely remembering I had something else to do.

It was about six that evening and our black and white TV was tuned to reruns of Disney’s Wonderful World of Color when I remembered I had a paper due. I found the scrap I’d scribbled on and panicked at the title.

There were windows in Wuthering Heights???

I dug out my copy from underneath a pile of Louis L’Amour and Mickey Spillane paperbacks and flipped through the chapters. Yep, the author talked incessantly about windows.

I glanced out the similar opening in my bedroom and had an idea. I wrote, “Wuthering Heights was a good book. The windows in Wuthering Heights looked outside at the sky and moors that are big fields of grass that are not like the grass in the yards we have on my street….”

It drifted on from there and writing as large as possible, sometimes only five words to a sentence, I scratched out the assignment. Mom kept that paper for years, (along with the next year’s particularly well-written ten-page research project entitled, Voodooism), but it somehow vanished through the years.

We know today that windows in Emily Bronte’s work represent the barriers in that society, and I can go on about trapped emotions, Catherine’s memories, good and evil, life and death, and how Heathcliff symbolically let Catherine’s spirit inside by opening a window, but I wonder if Emily had all that in mind as she penned the manuscript.

I’ve always maintained she just wanted to write an entertaining story about her world. What do you think?

Like Miss Emily, tell your story and let the academics hash it out later.

 

Reader Friday-Let’s Go to the Movies…Again!

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My last post of 2024 was a fun discussion of favorite movie lines.

Today, let’s flip that and share the Worst Movie Lines Evah! The problem with this flip is that if a movie is bad, bad, bad, we tend to let it slip out of our memory banks. And often it’s the dialogue that makes the movie forgettable so we may have, well, forgotten those lines.

But there’s one that sticks out to me, and it’s been mentioned before over the decades.

Jenny, in Love Story: Love means never having to say you’re sorry…

Really? Love means always having to say you’re sorry…even when you’re not!  🙂

Now it’s your turn, TKZers…and if you have trouble remembering those forgettable lines, just google “worst movie lines”. I did!

 

What Makes a Book Good?

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What Makes a Book Good?
Terry Odell

woman in front of library shelves reading a book.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

It’s done. But not really. Yes, I reached “the end” of the manuscript, which is a major part of the writing process. I wrapped it up at around 76,500 words.

Now what? I have 16 days before I have to send it to my editor. I print it in my ‘fool the eye’ (and save paper) format. Different font, single-spaced, two columns, print on both sides of the paper. I also have my board of sticky notes to go through.

lined paper with blue writingAnd I really created extra work for myself this time around, because I didn’t write chapter summaries and time stamps as I finished each chapter. My bad. So, as I’m reading and marking up my printouts—and adding more sticky notes as I run across things that need elaboration or deleting—I’m also writing my chapter summaries. Longhand. I hope I can read them when the time comes!

But getting ready to deliver the best manuscript I can to my editor always makes me wonder if it will be good enough. Will she send it back after three chapters and say it’s not going to work? Or will she say it’ll work if you change your characters, move the setting, cut this thread, add another one. All of which made me think about what makes a book good. Eventually, it’s in the hands, eyes, or ears of the reader. Which then led me to thinking about a recent read. I’m not mentioning title or author, or the overall story, because I don’t think it’s fair to the author, and that’s not the point of this post.

I belong to a neighborhood book club. To pick what we read, each month, someone suggests about 4 books, we vote, and majority rules. The vast majority of the selections are not what I’d choose on my own, but I have found some books I’m glad I read. A couple, I’ve even bought to add to my bookshelves. (Mostly, I get the books from the library—yay libraries—because I don’t like spending money on something I’m not likely to keep.)

Usually, the books would be categorized as literary, women’s fiction, or—who knew this was a genre classification?—book club books.

This month’s read had me befuddled. It was classified as a mystery/thriller/crime novel in reviews, so I thought I’d like it. It came in at almost 500 pages, and at least 300 of them were superfluous. I finished it, because I kept waiting for it to live up to the bazillion accolades and awards from sites like the New York Times, Time Magazine, New York Public Library, Washinton Post, Boston Globe, NPR … the list goes on.

I went to Amazon. The book ranks in the top 25 in the overall Amazon store. Not too shabby. I scrolled down to see what readers thought. What I generally do when I look at reader reviews is zero in on the 3 stars and under to see what people didn’t like about the book. For this book, the feedback from those matched my thoughts perfectly.

I’ve already returned the book to the library, so I can’t go back and count the POV characters, but I’d estimate at least 10. If not that many, it sure felt like it. There was one I sort of liked. The others weren’t worth the ink on the page as far as I was concerned. Nothing to like about any of them.

Then there was the overall structure. Some POVs were written in 1st person, others in 3rd. I don’t think there was a JSB ‘mirror moment’ for any of them. If so, it was buried so deeply that I never noticed.

Chronology? The book covered several decades in time. The author had a list of the decades/years as chapter headers, and the “now” for that chapter was in bold. (I confess, it took me a while to figure that out, and even if I had, my brain couldn’t put things in chronological order to keep track of the story. I’m a linear writer and reader.) If you could keep things straight and remember them, you could follow character arcs, but I don’t want to work that hard when I’m reading fiction. Or take notes.

Overall, I got to the end—which wrapped things up, but seemed silly and contrived. Book club meets next week, and I’ll be curious to see whether anyone else was bothered by the same things I was. The writing was fine. The overall story, had it been written in a more linear fashion, with fewer POV characters (and pages!), was fine. But the book, to me, was anything but fine.

Which, in the end, reminds me that not everyone likes every book, and once mine is the best it can be, I should let it go and move on.

What about you, TKXers. What turns you off in a book that others say is fantastic?

New! Find me at Substack with Writings and Wanderings

Double Intrigue
When your dream assignment turns into more than you bargained for
Cover of Double Intrigue, an International Romantic Suspense by Terry Odell Shalah Kennedy has dreams of becoming a senior travel advisor—one who actually gets to travel. Her big break comes when the agency’s “Golden Girl” is hospitalized and Shalah is sent on a Danube River cruise in her place. She’s the only advisor in the agency with a knowledge of photography, and she’s determined to get stunning images for the agency’s website.
Aleksy Jakes wants out. He’s been working for an unscrupulous taskmaster in Prague, and he’s had enough. When he spots one of his coworkers in a Prague hotel restaurant, he’s shocked to discover she’s not who he thought she was.
As Shalah and Aleksy cruise along the Danube, the simple excursion soon becomes an adventure neither of them imagined.

Like bang for your buck? I have a new Mapleton Bundle. Books 4, 5, and 6 for one low price.

Terry Odell is an award-winning author of Mystery and Romantic Suspense, although she prefers to think of them all as “Mysteries with Relationships.”

Who’s Your Daddy?

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

While waiting in line at a Walmart pharmacy a few days ago, I noticed a display rack of at-home DIY tests. It contained tests for Covid; Flu A and B; alcohol (urine strips); handheld breathalyzers (as low as $8); drug kits that test urine for marijuana, opiates, cocaine, amphetamines, meth, Oxycodone, PCP, Ecstasy, etc.—results in only five minutes!

Wow, I had no idea consumer test kits had gotten so comprehensive, sophisticated, and cheap.

Waiting in line can be boring…unless you’re a crime writer. My imagination took off with scenarios where drug and alcohol tests could add conflict and suspense to a story.

“You’re too drunk to drive.”

“I’m just fine, honeybunch.”

“Oh yeah? Blow into this.”

“Where the hell did you get that?”

“At Walmart.”

“No way.”

“Yes way. Now blow.”  

But the most surprising kit was a home paternity test.

For only $15, is it really possible to determine whether or not a man is a child’s father?

Yes, but an additional $100 (approx.) must be paid to a DNA testing lab.

The kit includes what’s needed to collect cheek swabs from the alleged father(s) and child, and a mailer to send samples to a DNA lab. Results are ready in 1-2 business days and are available online or by mail. If several men could be the father, some kits allow testing of multiple subjects at the same time.

Home test results are reportedly 99.999999% accurate but are not admissible in court. According to Patermitylab.com:

While the science behind our Home DNA Test Kits are the exact same as the Legal Paternity Tests and Immigration Paternity Tests collected for in a laboratory, they cannot be used in court. This is because the Legal and Immigration Paternity Tests require you to go into a laboratory and have your samples collected. This is to establish what is legally referred to as a “chain of custody.” This is where a third party laboratory technician will verify the identification of the testors and then take their samples before submitting them for genetic testing.

 

Paternity tests can also eliminate a man as the father with the results showing 0% chance of paternity.

Reasons to determine the father’s identity include:

Establish a child’s legal status;

Obligation to pay child support;

Rights of visitation or custody;

A child’s eligibility for insurance benefits;

The right to inherit;

Medical history; genetic markers play a role in health conditions or predisposition to certain diseases.

Celebrities have long been targets in paternity cases.

Michael Jackson wrote the 1981 hit song “Billie Jean” where the narrator describes a brief encounter with a woman who later claims a child is his. Her proof is “a photo of a baby, cryin’, his eyes were like mine.” But the refrain protests, “the kid is not my son.”

Per Wikipedia, Jackson said:

There never was a real Billie Jean. The girl in the song is a composite of people my brothers have been plagued with over the years. I could never understand how these girls could say they were carrying someone’s child when it wasn’t true.

One particularly ardent fan claimed Jackson fathered her child. She sent him letters, proposing he kill himself at the same time she killed herself and “their” baby so they could all be together. She was later sent to a psychiatric hospital.

When fame and money are involved, even scientific proof does not prevent accusations and sensational trials. More famous cases:

Charlie Chaplin – Public domain

 

Charlie Chaplin was accused of fathering a child with a young starlet. After an arduous trial that featured an adorable toddler playing pattycake at the prosecution table, blood tests confirmed Chaplin was not the father.

 

 

 

Eddie Murphy
Photo credit: Wikimedia CC-BY-3.0

 

 

Eddie Murphy was taken to court by Spice Girl Melanie Brown to establish paternity of her daughter Angel. DNA proved Murphy was the father and therefore financially responsible.

 

 

 

 

Keanu Reeves
Photo credit: Governo do Estado de São Paulo, CC BY 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

 

 

Keanu Reeves was sued for millions in spousal and child support by a woman whom he said he’d never met. The case was dismissed when DNA tests proved he was not the father.

 

 

 

 

 

 

All sorts of fictional scenarios spring to mind that deal with questionable paternity including false accusations, blackmail, sexual assault, gang rape, buried family secrets, disputed custody of the child, and more.

What if a child’s immigration status depends on who the father is?

What if character always believed their father was one man but he turns out to be a different man?

What if a stranger shows up claiming a character is his father?

What if an inheritance depends on a person being the benefactor’s natural child? If they’re not, then who inherits?

In real life, a person can refuse to take a DNA test. However, courts may order DNA tests. Since it is illegal to refuse a court order, refusal may subject the person to fines, penalties, and even jail time.

For this crime author, the seemingly mundane act of waiting in line at Walmart led to all sorts of story ideas. By the time I finally got to the service window, I had a list of questions to research when I got home.

The answers became today’s post.

~~~

TKZers: Have you written a story featuring a paternity theme? If so, what inspired the idea? What books have you read where paternity plays a role?

~~~

When a rapist is set free because of contaminated DNA evidence, investigator Tawny Lindholm is outraged. How could her husband, attorney Tillman Rosenbaum, defend an obviously guilty man? Tawny’s world is further shaken when a stranger shows up, claiming to be the son of her beloved late husband. As cherished memories shatter, can her new marriage survive?

Bestthrillers.com calls Until Proven Guilty: “One of the year’s top crime thrillers.”

Sales link

O Writer, Who Art Thou?

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“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” —Oscar Wilde

* * *

Who are you?

The image above is the Road ID bracelet I wear when I go outside for a run. It’s one of those “just in case” things. The little statement at the bottom of the ID says a lot about me, and not just about running. I like to think that I always finish what I start.

Of course, human beings are complicated organisms, and we can’t summarize someone by just a few words. (That would make them flat characters. 😊)

On the other hand, it is fun to find short phrases that shine a light on who we are and what our attitude toward life is, so I went looking for descriptions that might fit some of the people I know. Here are a few I found interesting:

  1. Make a difference
  2. Make somebody’s day
  3. Living the dream
  4. Grateful beyond words
  5. Child of God
  6. Party animal
  7. Dark Horse
  8. Happy Camper
  9. Hard work makes good luck
  10. Challenges make life interesting
  11. Be consistent
  12. Believe in your dreams
  13. Go the extra mile
  14. Give 100%
  15. If it wasn’t hard, why do it

* * *

Who are you as a writer?

What about our approach to writing? I know people who select a single word to focus on throughout a new year. That never appealed to me until a couple of years ago when I decided to give it a try. Now that we’re at the beginning of 2025 with all our writing goals for the year in place, maybe it’s time to select a word or phrase to post above the desk to help us stay focused all year long.

This year I decided to go for a full phrase. It’s one of my favorite pieces of advice: Festina Lente, Latin for Make haste slowly. Although it seems incongruous, the phrase makes perfect sense. Work as hard as you can, but don’t rush through the job. (I wrote a TKZ blog post about Festina Lente a few years ago that explains where the phrase originated and its relationship to writing.)

But I wanted to add a little extra something to my favorite phrase to make it perfect this year, so I used Google translate to find the Latin equivalents of my additions. I printed it out in Algerian font and hung it above my desk.

Festina Lente
Cum
Alacritate,
Gratia, et
Voluntate

Looks impressive, eh? It means Make haste slowly with enthusiasm, gratitude, and determination. If I feel myself moving toward that “things aren’t going the way I want them to” sinkhole, I look at my little sign and remember what I’m supposed to be concentrating on.

* * *

Defining ourselves in just a few words may seem like an academic exercise, but it can also focus our work and attitude on the things that we feel are most important.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

* * *

So TKZers: What word or phrase would you use to define yourself? Your writing? Do you have a word or phrase to concentrate on during 2025?

 

 

“a spectacular tale of a decades-old murder mystery, human drama, and a hint of romance” —Prairie Book Reviews

Available at  Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Google Play, or Apple Books.

 

Timeless Truths About Story

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by James Scott Bell
@jamesscottbell

As storytellers, what do we know?

We know that people love to escape into stories in order to get some relief from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, aka life.

And we know that to the extent we provide that escape, we increase our odds of making some lettuce at this gig. And we know (or should know) that the craft of writing fiction is not some straitjacket around your creative genius, but a prism though which we refract and unleash the power of story. (See “Story and Structure in Love.”)

These truths do not change.

Which is why I was curious to see what a book offering “photoplay” (i.e., screenwriting) advice had to say…a book published in 1916!

A-B-C of Motion Pictures by Robert E. Welsh offers a short history of the movies and the business of making them. It has a chapter called “Practical Hints on Photoplay Writing.” Let’s have a look.

[The writer] must be certain that he possesses the power of observation that enables him to see the germs of stories in the little incidents that would ordinarily be passed by with scarce a moment’s thought.

This is the power of “What if?” It’s a muscle of the mind that can, and should be, developed by every writer. I used to read the newspaper (remember those?) looking for “what ifs” and marking them with a felt-tip pen. I would flip things around in a crime story (What if that robber had been a woman instead of a man?) or elevate something in an innocuous item (What if the president of the local PTA was on the run from the mafia?)

Most of the ideas would never go further, but sometimes I’d come up with a promising nugget. Like the news item that begins Try Dying and which landed me a three-book contract.

Exercise your head! Ask “What if?” all the time.

He must be gifted with the imagination that will enable him to create a full-bodied story—a plot—from this germ.

Anyone who wants to write full-length fiction needs to have “story sense.” This comes only through reading. Successful writers were readers as kids, or at least adolescents. So you have to have a certain acquired ability to know what a sentence is and how to string them together in some kind of coherent fashion. If you have that, you can learn and apply craft. As Welsh says:

Lastly, he must possess…the knowledge of dramatic principles necessary to relate his story in such a manner that the interest of his audience mounts steadily and is held to the end.

Boom! Can storyteller disagree with that? What’s the alternative? Not knowing or not caring about these principles? Writing merrily along with no thought about craft, then throwing up (and I use that term advisedly) untested, unedited books to befoul the marketplace and not sell?

What is plot? … It is a story woven around a central theme, which is usually a crisis in the lives of the characters. It has a definite beginning, which is at the time when the causes are born which gradually increase in strength and at the last give rise to the events which produce the climax, the height of the suspense and interest. It has a definite ending, which should come as soon as it has been determined whether the crisis overwhelms the characters or whether they pass through it successfully. The ideal plot is the plot of struggle, whether physical or mental.

Yes. I define plot as a life and death struggle met by a character exercising strength of will. Death can be physical, professional, or psychological. Think about the most popular novels of all time, and you’ll see a death struggle, an increase of “suspense and interest” leading to a climax followed shortly by THE END, thus avoiding anticlimax.

You do not have to follow your characters to the grave; the interest of the audience is over when the crisis is past. You may spoil the effect of a good story by trifling with its interest after that. That is part of the story-teller’s art that we spoke of as the third essential—the ability to know where to begin the story, so that no time is lost in useless detail, while at the same time making the necessary points clear, a knowledge of what incidents to introduce and how to group them so that they merge smoothly into the climax and the gift of stopping when the story is done.

Did you catch that? [T]he ability to know where to begin the story, so that no time is lost in useless detail. He would have loved our first-page critiques!

Make certain that your story is good by all the tests you can devise…

I have a great first editor (and wife), and excellent beta readers who see things I’ve missed. I know if I don’t fix them, readers will pick them up and experience “speed bumps” in the fictive dream. That increases the odds they’ll pass on my next book. No thanks. It’s worth the extra effort to polish the book.

Finally:

Typewrite your manuscript. Here are other rules of the game which the beginner often disregards: Write on only one side of the paper; use white paper about eight and a half by eleven; put your name and address on the first page of the manuscript; and, most important of all, enclose a stamped and addressed envelope for the return of the story should it be unavailable. Make carbon copies of all your stories.

Remember that! Stock up on carbon paper and don’t forget that SASE!

Ahem.

And there you have some timeless truths about storytelling. Ignore them at your peril.

Welcome to Bluesky

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The final Words of Wisdom of 2024 was about social media and I wanted to follow up in the new year with a post about Bluesky, a newer social media which has been growing by leaps and bounds since last year. Today I’m going to give a quick overview, and then provide a short list of guides and resources. Once a librarian, always a librarian.

I joined Twitter back in 2010, shortly after I bought my first iPhone and found it useful as a writer for connecting with other writers and readers. It’s how I was invited on the Marketing Science Fiction and Fantasy Podcast in 2017. I’d become online acquaintances with one of the hosts, indie author Lindsay Buroker on Twitter earlier, and in fact ended up also writing two guest posts for her own website back before I began self-publishing my novels.

In my experience social media works best when it’s about connection: for writers that means connecting with other writers and readers. I can’t say I’ve never sold books via social media, I have, but that’s a side benefit for me. As always, your mileage might well be different*.

Bluesky is essentially a Twitter/X alternative, working similarly to how Twitter had worked for years. You send out a post (nicknamed a “skeet’ by some users). People can repost your post and you can do likewise. People even repost their own to send it out at a different time.

Basics: Posts are limited to 300 characters, and can include images. Hashtags like #writingandbooks or #mystery are often used to help the platform identify the topic and other users who might be looking in that category see your post.

You can create lists, and you can divide your Bluesky feed into categories, which can be very handy, allowing you to click on, say “writing and books” and see posts in that particular feed. “Mutuals” is a feed for posts by those who you follow and who follow you.

Your profile is important—a nice photo or image avatar, and then a mini-bio/description of yourself. As authors, we’re used to providing a short bio. I like to make mine fun as well as informative.

Here’s a close up of the profile edit page, showing my description:

Starter Packs: I asked author friends who also used Bluesky what their number one tip for new users was, and the winner was “starter packs.”

Starter packs are curated lists of people to follow, such as mystery authors, indie authors, thriller writers etc.

Bluesky provides a helpful directory to aid in discovering ones. Here’s one put together for Sisters-in-Crime.

Creating them is straightforward, as shown here. I have yet to create more own starter pack but likely will at some point.

I’ve followed a number of writers on several starter packs and often they follow back. You can also be asked to be included in a starter pack, or start your own. I strongly suggest contacting anyone you wish to include in a starter pack and get their okay. By the same token, if you discover you are included in one, you can contact the creator to be removed.

Blocking another account: You have the ability to mute or even block another account if you want or need to. Blocking means they no longer see your posts, nor do you see theirs, and this works throughout the platform, regardless of whether they follow you or not. There are blocklists you can find and use.

Mostly I’ve blocked the same sort of “fake profiles” I used to encounter on Twitter—in my case, usually an attractive younger woman with an extremely abbreviated profile who usually only reposts other users posts. In a couple of cases, I’ve been DM’d (direct messaged) which then results in the block. Many if not most, are likely bots. Note: if you block the creator of a starter pack you were included in but don’t wish to be part of, you’ll also be removed from the starter pack.

Thus your profile also helps other users see you are an actual person and not a fake or spoof account. So does regularly posting and not *just* resharing others posts.

Organic feeds: Bluesky doesn’t use algorithms to control your feed, you see posts in the order in which an account you follow posts them. There’s a refreshing, organic feel to the platform. Currently there is no advertising, and the company has said at some point they may begin offering premium features as a subscription option, much like chat and video service Discord has a paid extra-features option.

It’s worth checking out if you’re looking for a new social media platform, one not controlled by algorithms, which allows you uncluttered feeds showing posts as they go live. It’s another place to meet fellow writers, readers, book bloggers, etc.

* In early 2022 author Travis Baldree’s debut fantasy novel Legends and Lattes was shared by fantasy author Seanan McGuire on Twitter. McGuire had a large number of followers on that platform and Baldree credits her share with giving his book a huge boost in initial sales, which led to an offer by a traditional publisher. I see that as a winning lottery-style success, highly unlikely for most of us, but a very noteworthy example of the power of sharing on social media. He hadn’t asked her to share either, she did it on her own after seeing the book’s cover and learning what it was about (cozy fantasy).

Further resources

  • How-to-Geek has a nice visual guide to getting started.
  • Lifehacker on how to get started.
  • Wired provides this basic and brief orientation which you might find useful.
  • Children’s author and illustrator Debbie Ridpath-Ohi has put together a terrific “bare bones guide” to Bluesky: which, despite the title, is really a thorough guide for beginners, packed with great advice. This is truly worth bookmarking as a reference.

There you have it, a very basic introduction to Bluesky. Have you joined this platform? Any tips you’d like to share?