Description should create a mood that matches the emotion of the POV character. If we all stood in the same yard at the same time, we’d interpret the atmosphere in difference ways, colored by personal circumstance and experience.
A fearful character sees, smells, hears, tastes, and touches differently than a joyful character, and the milieu should reflect that difference through word choices, pacing, and viewpoint. The fearful character won’t detect colorful finches flitting from tree to tree or the sweet melody of birdsong. Instead, narrow focus to enhance the scene.
Also, this is not the time for the fearful character to overthink with long, rambling musings. Stay in the moment.
The fearful character might interpret their environment like this…
The moon refused to brighten the path, the forest dark, ominous. Trees loomed, froze. Leaves quaked. Stars cowered in the haze. Each footstep that neared — deliberate, slow, methodical — crunched dead flora. Sweet pine soured by the raw stench of death. Blood crawled across my tongue, vomit lurching in my throat.
Same setting filtered through a joyful character’s perspective…
The moon’s golden smolder caressed the hiking trail below the deck, the forest content and celebrating the reunion of nocturnal friends. Paws pattering, wings breathing new life into the evening hours, the sweetness of pine kissing soft fur and feathers as they flitted by. Strawberry wine slipped across my palate as I basked under the umbrella of stars in the night sky.
WORD CHOICE, SENTENCE STRUCTURE, AND PACE
For the fearful character, I used punchy verbs (loomed, quaked, cowered, soured, crawled, lurched), staccato sentences, and offset longer sentences with em dashes to maintain the pace. The only gerund varied the sentence structure and rhythm. I also juxtaposed — sweet pine soured by the raw stench of death — but we’ll get to that after.
With the joyful character, I used softer verbs (caressed, celebrating, pattering, breathing, kissing, flitted) longer sentences, and gerunds to create a relaxing pace.
TICKLE THE SENSES
I used four senses in the fearful character’s example.
Sight: self-explanatory
Sound: the footstep — deliberate, slow, methodical — crunched dead flora
Smell: soured pine, raw stench of death
Taste: decomp, vomit
I could include touch (rough tree bark), but I wanted to keep it brief. Too much description destroys the urgency of fear.
In the joyful character’s example, I also used four.
Sight: self-explanatory
Sound: paws pattering, wings breathing
Smell: sweetness of pine
Taste: strawberry wine
“Soft fur” could indicate touch, I suppose, but without the character actively petting an animal. Here again, I kept it brief. As a reader and a writer, I prefer quick descriptions dabbled in here and there, rather than read or write endless paragraphs. A little goes a long way.
FILTER THROUGH EXPERIENCE
Maybe the fearful character witnessed a failed suicide attempt when he found a relative hanging in the backyard before the rope snapped. Or a bad guy hanged them. In either scenario, a tree phobia would make sense. The forest is the last place they want to be, and the description should reflect their emotional response.
I kept my examples generic on purpose, but filtering through the POV character’s experience enhances the mood of the scene. Again, don’t go nuts. We don’t need or want endless paragraphs of backstory. Keep it brief.
ONOMATOPOEIA
Onomatopoeia words help create a visceral response in the reader. Again, don’t go overboard. Moderation is key.
Caw (C’mon, you knew I had to start with my beloved crows ;-))
Bang
Ahem
Belch
Splash
Hiss
Click
Argh
Chirp
Buzz
Clang
Achoo
Blare
Crackle
Bash
Clank
Bark
Clap
Crash
Boom
Zip
Chatter
Ding
Boo
Cuckoo
Blab
Bawl
Blare
Blurt
Chomp
Clap
Chortle
Cough
Crack
Gurgle
Grunt
Guffaw
Hack
Hiccup
Howl
Jangle
Hoot
Jingle
Knock
Moan
Mumble
Murmur
Mutter
Neigh
Oink
Phew
Pluck
Plunk
Poof
Pop
Purr
Prowl
Ring
Rip
Roar
Rumble
Rush
Rustle
Screech
Shuffle
Shush
Sizzle
Slash
Slither
Slosh
Slurp
Smack
Snap
Snarl
Snip
Snort
Splash
Splatter
Squawk
Squelch
Thud
Trickle
Waffle
Whisper
Whizz
Whoop
Whoosh
Yelp
Zoom
Zing
Zap
JUXATAPOSITION
“Juxta” is Latin for “next to.” And “pose” means to place. To juxtapose is to “place next to.”
Now, the two can be opposites.
Dark and light.
Despair and hope.
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”
Opposites are not mandatory to juxtapose, though.
What juxtaposition should do is show a contrast filtered through the POV character.
I slept while you were dying.
Rose petals edged her torture chamber.
Warmth slashed through an endless pit of darkness.
Okie doke. TKZ, let’s discuss.





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Private pilot Cassie Deakin has one measure of success: to find the culprits who assaulted her uncle. But when she achieves that goal, she faces a much more difficult challenge.

