James Scott Bell
@jamesscottbell
James Scott Bell
@jamesscottbell
By Elaine Viets
“So there she was, showering naked by the pool,” I said, “and the people in the condo next door complained. A naked old woman wasn’t the million-dollar view they’d paid for.”
I was giving my friend Linda the latest local gossip. A foreign woman, free of Americans’ prudish prejudices, was stripping off her suit and showering naked after a swim. The condo with the unwanted view had registered a complaint with the offending condo.
“How old was the naked old lady?” my friend Linda asked.
“At least seventy,” I said.
“I’m seventy,” Linda said and she was clearly offended. “And while I don’t plan to shower naked in public, I don’t think I’m old.”
Linda is a stylish seventy who wears her blond hair in short spikes. She travels the world, taking cooking classes in France and Italy, and helping Spanish executives improve their colloquial English. Definitely not old. Well, not old old.
“The naked lady is a grandmother,” I added.
“I’m a grandmother,” Linda said. “Twice.”
Now I was backpedaling – fast. “But the naked shower woman was an old grandma, like my grandmother.” (Forgive me, Grandma. You’re the best grandma ever, but you’d be spinning in your grave at the thought of showering naked in public.) “Grandma was a wonderful cook, but she had a figure like a flour sack.”
“Well, if you say so,” Linda said.
I did say so, and now I realized I’d better say it with precision. It’s time writers look at how we portray older people.
Ageism can cost us readers. AARP says “for the next 18 years, boomers will be turning 65 at a rate of about 8,000 a day.” Boomers are big mystery readers and they hate being called old. But how often have you seen people in their sixties called “elderly.” Is Helen Mirren elderly?
I’m guilty of describing an old, unattractive man as “a scrawny seventy.” Keith Richards is scrawny as a plucked chicken wing, but that old plucker is damn sexy.
The term “grandmother” is used to dismiss women as powerless. But globetrotting former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is a grandma, and she’s aiming for the world’s most powerful office.
Nobody tries to dis George Bush because he’s a grandpa.
Sophia Loren at 79 is gorgeous.
Age is more than a number. It’s attitude, energy and style. When you write, get it right. Don’t settle for the same old cliches.
By Joe Moore
A few years back I posted a blog about listening to music while writing, particularly motion picture scores. I hear that many of them are recorded through amazing phono preamps, similar to Graham Slee HiFi exclusive phono preamps. It works for me, and judging by the comments at the time, many others like to use music when they write, too. Music is an amazingly powerful force in the world and can add to your memories of special times—there’s that tune from your first date, or the one you danced to as a newlywed on your wedding day. And so many countless other occasions.
One of the times of year I look forward to most is the Christmas season. And a big reason is, I love Christmas music. It must be playing throughout our house while we put up our decorations. And on Christmas day, it is nonstop in every room. There are so many great Holiday tunes to choose from; whether your tastes lean toward the traditional religious songs or the commercial pop hits, they all paint a warm and happy time of year.
My favorite has always been I’ll Be Home For Christmas, a poignant, emotional tune that never fails to bring back memories of Christmas past. It’s a short story with a surprise ending perfectly written for maximum impact.
From the Rock era, there are hundreds of great tunes, but few can get you smiling and moving like All I Want For Christmas Is You. And there’s no one that can belt it out better than the grand diva herself, Mariah Carey, who by the way also wrote the song. So take a short break from what you’re doing, sit back and let Ms. C entertain you. If you’re not smiling by the time it’s over, check your pulse for vital signs. http://youtu.be/RengWX0P5KA
Since TKZ will be on vacation from December 22 through January 4, let me take this opportunity to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. See you next year.
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We’re winding down towards the holiday break here at TKZ. As Clare wrote in her post yesterday, this time of year offers an opportunity for taking stock and reflection.
In my case, the holidays have offered yet another opportunity for distraction.
Take yesterday, for example. We had a couple of gigantic structure fires in downtown Los Angeles. Here’s something to know about LA County: it’s a land of wildfires, not structure fires. Los Angelenos think nothing of ten thousand acres of chaparral getting charred to a crisp when the Santa Anas blow. But urban structure fires? They’re almost unheard of. And these fires were big, the biggest in recent memory. One of the fires actually shut down a couple of freeways! Freeway closures cause chaos in LA faster than a quarter inch of rain.
Both fires are considered suspicious. The larger of the two blazes destroyed a much-reviled building that was under construction downtown.
Magniloquently named “Da Vinci” (and dubbed “Terrible Fauxtalian Fortress” by CurbedLA), the apartment complex is the latest architectural project being built by a developer who is widely criticized for blighting LA’s downtown renewal with overpriced projects designed with dubious taste.
And then of course we have a local version of the national protests that are going on. The Los Angeles protests, which haven’t been getting much news coverage outside the region, have a particular characteristic. Night after night, groups of protesters have tried to get onto a freeway in order to stage a “die in”. They move methodically in groups along a chosen stretch of onramps and offramps, dodging police. Looking for a weak spot.
I ‘ve been listening to my police scanner at night, following the cat-and-mouse game between protesters and police. And I’ve been trying to figure out whether the downtown fires could have been started by a design critic, or a protester. If the fires are in any way connected to political unrest, it would signify that LA has turned a page since the Rodney King riots. Back then, people attacked and burned their own neighborhoods. Since that time, there’s been much discussion about acting smarter, about attacking wealthier targets. I try to decipher cryptic messages on Twitter, messages that seem to be guiding people where to go, what to do to express their rage.
Yeah, I know. Everything I’ve talked about here is a poor excuse for not writing the last few days. But, hey. It’s the best excuse I have.
How about you? Is it harder to work these days? Do you soldier through it, or give it up for the holidays, along with your diet?
Happy Holidays!
It’s hard to believe that this will be my last blog post for 2014 – the year has gone way too quickly! At this time of year I always find myself ‘ruminating’ over the year in terms of my writing and realizing (yet again) that I never do achieve all the goals I set in January. I didn’t ever reach my ‘words per day’ writing quota and, although I have a new book out on submission with editors, I didn’t manage to write two books this year – more like fragments of about 1 and 3/4:)
But taking my cue from Jim’s post yesterday on his Nanowrimo experience, I thought I’d take stock of the year that is almost past and think about what I learned (rather than setting off 2015 with a whole new set of unrealistic goals!)
So….what did I actually learn this year?
So, as 2014 draws to a close what have you learned about your writing process?
James Scott Bell
@jamesscottbell