Category Archives: Writing

“Heed this advice!” she said desperately

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By PJ Parrish

I was sitting in my favorite breakfast place, dipping my rye into my sunny-side-ups and reading an old paperback that I had found at a yard sale. It was by a mega-bestselling author, and frankly, I was smugly happy that I had paid only 50 cents for it.

I looked up to see a familar face. It was Tom S., one of my pickleball peeps. He’s sort of annoying, on court and off, the kind of guy who slams the ball at your head and then disingenuously apologizes for almost taking out your eye. So when he asked if he could join me, I was dearly tempted to go with the truth. But no…I try to play nice, on court and off.

“Sure, have a seat,” I said cordially.

He sat down, his eyes slipping secretly to the paperback lying wantonly by my coffee mug. “I see,” he said insightfully, “that you are reading a book by XX.”

“Yes,” I said affirmatively, nodding energetically.

“Do you like it?” he asked inquiringly.

I wasn’t sure how to answer. See, Tom’s trying to write a book and my kind-hearted sister Kelly had recently offered to give him a quick critique. His WIP was a hot mess but she patiently offered Tom some some good tips about plot structure, the differences between thrillers and mysteries, and character building.

Tom wisely picked up on my silence. “So,” he said interrogatively. “I take it you don’t like the book?”

“It’s sort of meh,” I said flatly.

“In what way?” he asked inquisitively.

“Well, I can’t quite put my finger on it,” I said perplexedly.

“How is the plotting?” he asked ploddingly.

“The plot was okay. But it’s sort of falling apart toward the end,” I added brokenly.

“That’s too bad,” he said sympathetically. “Anything else?”

“The characters were okay but kind of cardboard,” I said woodenly.

“Really?” he said shockingly.

“Yes,” I acknowledged.

“But this is a New York Times bestseller,” he interjected suddenly, jabbing at the book pointedly with his extended right index finger. “It got great blurbs. And all the reviewers loved it.”

“Well,” I said deeply, with a exhalation of a sigh. “I just don’t know what it was about the book that I found tiresome but there was something.”

Tom gave me a nod of his head, shaking it up and down, and then added a small, understanding smile, displaying his Chiclet teeth. “Well,” he said philosophically. “Some books are just like that.”

And with that, Tom rose and sauntered away, slowly and casually, slipping out the door, sidling across the parking lot, and disappearing into the almost rainy, slightly foggy, early morning Michigan mist.

I was left with my bad book and my thoughts. I was thinking about all the good advice I had heard over the years at all the writers conferences I had attended. Thinking about all the great panels I had sat on, even a really special heated one about talent versus technique. I was thinking, too, about all the wonderful posts here at The Kill Zone that tackle such a wide range of topics on our craft — everything from yanking yourself out of the muddy middle to the sins of the semi-colon.

Gina the waitress refilled my coffee and I returned to my mega-bestseller. Only a couple chapters to go, and even though I knew in my heart I should have tossed the book aside a long time ago, I was determined to finish it. Maybe I just wanted to get my full 50-cents worth. Then it came, this sentence:

“I could have saved her,” he whispered quietly.

I turned the book to its cover and looked at the author’s name. It was in huge block letters and bright neon pink, the name bigger than the title.

I flashbacked to a panel I moderated years ago at Sleuthfest. Robert Crais was our guest of honor and he was waxing eloquent about our craft. But it was one sentence he said in his keynote address that I was remembering at that moment: “Adverbs are not your friend.”

He didn’t say it lightly. He didn’t it dramatically. He didn’t even say it succinctly. He just said it.

 

How Writers Are Like Backyard Chickens

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After caring for six adult chickens for over a year, a friend and I bought six baby chicks to start our own flock. A lot of thought went into buying chicks.

  • What breeds produce the most eggs?
  • Which ones egg during a harsh New England winter?
  • Temperaments?
  • Is there a bully breed?

The six adult chickens have a bully in the coop who never misses a chance to pick on the others. We didn’t need another problem child.

  • What will the chicks look like as adults?

Good looks weren’t as important to us as egg production, but why not shoot for both? Also, if certain breeds don’t like human interaction, we’d never be able to love on them. Neither of us could handle that.

Once we chose the perfect blend of breeds, we brought home the babies, which we kept in the living room of my friend’s house. Yes, the living room. We wanted the chicks to imprint on us and feel like part of the family, just like we did 34 years ago with our pet turkey.

When the chicks grew into gangly teenagers, we built onto the existing coop to create a duplex. Six adults on one side, our babies on the other and safely out of reach of the bully. The original owner of the six adults got tired of them, so we adopted them as well. Twelve chickens can be chaotic and challenging if you don’t stay one step ahead, but they’re never boring!

My sweet angels. The crookedness of the photo seems to fit their goofy personalities. LOL

While watching both flocks forage, grow, and play, I couldn’t help but draw a parallel between chickens and writers.

Believe it or not, we have a lot in common with these intelligent birds.

Foraging for food: Chickens spend a significant part of their day foraging for food, pecking and scratching at the ground to uncover earthworms and insects. Writers also forage for ideas, observing, researching, and exploring to gather material and inspiration for plots.

Structure and organization: Chickens exhibit a pecking order, a social hierarchy that dictates access to resources like food and nesting spots. Writers also engage in structuring and organizing their work, arranging ideas, outlining, and refining their work to present a coherent and engaging storyline.

Hatching: Just as a chick emerges from an egg after development, writers develop their ideas and create a first draft, which is later refined and polished, much like a chicken preening its feathers for optimal health and function. They also want to look nice. When the teens first saw their reflections, you should’ve seen them hamming it up. Hilarious!

Social interaction and learning: Chickens are social creatures who learn from observing other flock members. Writers learn and develop their craft by observing the works of other authors, studying their techniques, and adapting elements to create their own style and refine their voice. 

Communication: Chickens use a variety of vocalizations to communicate with one another, such as alarm calls, contentment clucks, and honks. Writers also use various literary techniques and stylistic choices to evoke emotions in their readers.

Molting: The molting process likens to the challenges and discomfort associated with personal and creative growth. 

I’m not the only author to find inspiration in chickens, either through direct observation or by using them as characters and/or metaphors.

  • The Chicken Chronicles by Alice Walker

The acclaimed author and poet found inspiration in her flock of backyard chickens, using them as a lens to explore themes of nature, community, and spiritual discovery. 

  • Jackie Polzin’s Brood

This novel uses a flock of chickens to explore grief and miscarriage, demonstrating how even seemingly simple creatures can carry profound emotional weight.

  • The Chicken Books by John Spiers

Inspired by his own flock, Spiers writes fiction for children and blogs about his chickens, offering quirky takes on “chicken economics” and “chicken religion.” 

  • Jan Brett, another children’s book author, keeps chickens to aid her artistic process, using them as models for her illustrations.

Chickens are highly intelligent, sentient birds with unique personalities, and like fellow writers, deserve our respect and kindness.

Where are my chicken lovers? Have you ever raised chicks? It’s a rewarding and fun experience. What other traits do chickens and writers share?

 

Deadlines

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Deadlines.

Brrrr.

A line not to be crossed without consequences.

All writers bow to them, and for some, looming deadlines are also an electric jolt to get authors off the stick and in front of the keyboard. I confess. I do my best work right up against deadlines.

The dreaded word originated during the Civil War, referencing a defined line around prison camps that prisoners weren’t allowed to cross under the guarantee of being shot by guards. Some sources say it began at Andersonville, a Confederate prison camp notorious for its horrific conditions and high death rate among Union prisoners.

“Before noon, we were turned into the pen which is merely enclosed by a ditch and the dirt taken from the ditch thrown up on the outside, making a sort of breastwork. The ditch serves as a dead line, and no prisoners must go near the ditch. ­–––Robert Ransom, Diary of Robert Ransom, Nov, 22, 1863.

You get the picture.

Over time, as memories faded, the term softened and shifted from a literal physical boundary to a time limit. In the early 1900s, newspapers used the word to indicate the last possible moment for submitting copy for publication. Meeting a deadline is the mark of a professional, or one who refuses to be late.

Now, to soften that a bit, some writing deadlines are fluid. Life can get in the way of meeting those obligations, and most editors and publishers understand, to a point. Your family, health, and all those insane troubles that sometimes swirl around us like tweeting birds circling a cartoon character’s head should take precedence.

Simply missing a specific date because you can’t get off the stick is unforgivable and sets back a publisher’s schedule. Titles are lined up on the calendar for print and missing those dates might put your manuscript back at the end of the line, or pulled completely, damaging the writer’s reputation, and also that of their agent.

Other things happen, too. I got a little lazy in writing my fourth novel, Dark Places, and my agent took me to task, setting back my delivery date.

“Rev, I love the manuscript, but you missed an entire plot line.”

“What!!!???”

“Pepper ran away from home, and you didn’t follow her. She’s almost forgotten until the end.”

“But….”

“Follow her.”

I did, and it gave the book an entirely different quality. However, I missed that deadline in the sense that we had to ask for more time. The publisher gave me a month, but my subconscious, knowing I’d become lazy, had already written the material and the story poured out in only two weeks.

Besides the book deadlines mentioned above, (and I’m free of those for the first time in several years because I’ve turned in three novels in my new series and have some breathing room), I still have a weekly newspaper column and magazine columns…plus this blog.

Book deadlines, short story deadlines, column and magazine articles, blog posts, well-established newsletters, and paid Substack posts all require razor sharp attention. If you sign either a physical, agreed upon contract, or a personal goal to get your work on a particular date or day, they should all be met.

It’s your professional reputation that’s on the line.

Writing Process Problems

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Writing Process Problems
Terry Odell

Skimmer standing on a beach, beak wide openI’ve finally reached the “I’m home” mindset. Dealt with all the administrivia, household chores, and feel like I’m back in my routine. Which means it’s time for serious work on the wip.

This one’s given me more trouble than usual. Normally, my “organic” writing process means I start at the beginning, let things unfold until I hit “the end.”

To quote E.L. Doctorow”

“It’s like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.”

“Planning to write is not writing. Outlining, researching, talking to people about what you’re doing, none of that is writing. Writing is writing.”

Not so this time. I was approaching the 50K word count when I realized the “Bad Stuff” that I’d been writing about happened way to soon, at least for a novel-length work. Even a short novel-length work.

What to do?

I went back and looked at my plot threads and realized I’d left a lot of them hanging around waiting to be dealt with later. I figured I’d better deal with them sooner. Trouble was, fitting chapters (which turned out to be nine) into points well ahead of chapters I’d already written led to continuity inconsistencies.

I’d added the death of a character. That’s what you do when you get to the muddled middle, right?

Unless he shows up alive five or six chapters down the road.

I liked the new chapters and they were moving things along. Until I ran into other inconsistencies. I ended up having to look at my chapter summaries to see when and where things happened. Of course, as expected, things I thought unimportant when doing my summaries turned out to be information I needed later.

Then, there were the decisions to make. Move things around? Leave things where they were but adjust bits and pieces for continuity. Scrap things altogether?

Writing out of order has never been part of my process, but every book is different, and now I had to deal with going back in page time, write the scene, and deal with reweaving the changes into the book so that it would appear seamless.

Of course, the organic writer in me found that one fix led to an entirely new plot thread, which then had to be worked in, often going way, way back in the manuscript to lay some foundations, with slight detours along the way to research things for the new threads. The book covers quite a time spread, much of it not on the page, but accuracy counts.

Also, probably due to my Mississippi River cruise and my recent birding trip, my ability to recall details seems to have left the building. A character talking on the phone to another is noting facial expressions? A character appears riding in another character’s car after said character told him to meet at the house?

Other things I seem to have lost track of. Who said what to which character, and when? Who was in the scene when it was said? It’s as if when the text scrolls off the screen, it leaves my memory, too.

Could it maybe have something to do with time spent processing my birding images? That’s an entirely different skillset, and my brain can’t seem to handle both.

Nevertheless, I persevered, and over last weekend, I had caught up to where I noticed the structure failure and am now working to finish the book. I’m still dealing with the right time to wrap up each thread.

I know I’ll have to be very diligent when it comes time to do my first editing pass. There may be some serious restructuring going on.

And, because I promised to tell you about my birding trip, here’s a link to my Substack, where I did a brief recap.

And a “bird foodie” post on my blog.

If you’re interested in more pictures, you can find them (another work in progress) here.

Your turn. Has your basic writing process ever had to change? How did you deal with it?

New! Find me at Substack with Writings and Wanderings

Danger Abroad

When breaking family ties is the only option.

Madison Westfield has information that could short-circuit her politician father’s campaign for governor. But he’s family. Although he was a father more in word than deed, she changes her identity and leaves the country rather than blow the whistle.

Blackthorne, Inc. taps Security and Investigations staffer, Logan Bolt, to track down Madison Westfield. When he finds her in the Faroe Islands, her story doesn’t match the one her father told Blackthorne. The investigation assignment quickly switches to personal protection for Madison.

Soon, they’re involved with a drug ring and a kidnapping attempt. Will working together put them in more danger? Can a budding relationship survive the dangers they encounter?

Available now.

Like bang for your buck? I have a new Triple-D Ranch bundle. All four novels for one low price. One stop shopping here.

Terry Odell is an award-winning author of Mystery and Romantic Suspense, although she prefers to think of them all as “Mysteries with Relationships.”

First Page Critique – Fallen Starr

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by Debbie Burke

Welcome to another first page submitted by an anonymous Brave Author. Please read then we’ll discuss on the flip side.

 ~~~

Fallen Starr

Thriller

Starr’s gaze followed the barrel of the gun clenched in the mobster’s trembling white-knuckled grip, her eyes crossing from the effort. Deep shadows enveloped her in the narrow alley off St. Petersburg’s Nevsky Avenue, while the dim, jaundiced glow from the solitary streetlight bled into the darkness.

Crumbling brick walls and weathered cobblestones, slick from a recent downpour, boxed her in. Dripping water reverberated into the twilight, interrupted only by the distant cry of some poor soul. Echoes of fading footsteps sparked her fear that someone might stumble into the alley before she got what she wanted.

Her assailant’s eyes widened, pupils blown out to the edges with a glimmer of paranoia, most likely a result of the street drug Krokodil. He blinked slowly as if the action required immense effort, each movement sluggish and delayed. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and his skin glistened under the faint light. As his trigger finger twitched, Starr’s heart hammered against her ribcage as she swallowed a bitter taste of dread.

“Traitor.” His voice dripped with contempt.

That one word pierced harder than it should. Traitor. She could almost laugh at the irony. If the world only knew how far she’d already fallen. As her chosen name suggested, like a falling star, she had blazed a meteoric path from the heavens alongside one-third of the angels who’d foolishly followed Lucifer’s glorious but doomed light. But after her burning descent, her journey had become a slow, winding climb, as she searched for redemption.

“Long is the way and hard that out of hell leads up to light.” John Milton’s epic poem rang in her ears. But right now, she was far from any light.

Starr turned down the corners of her lips and tilted her head. “Traitor? That hurts my feelings.”

It did indeed. In her quest for redemption, she had made tough choices, turning her back on the other fallen angels. Her current situation in this foul alley had sunk to a similar low.

The air was thick with the stench of rancid garbage. Twisted shadows cast by an old wrought-iron fire escape danced across an overturned dumpster spilling its contents onto the cobblestones. The shade of the bars concealed—was that a headless rat?

A writhing heap of maggots feasting on the rodent forced her to part her lips and take shallow breaths through her mouth.

~~~

First off, kudos to the Brave Author (BA) for a clean submission free of typos.

This is a solid action start, landing the reader smack in the middle of a frightening situation. A gun is aimed at the protagonist, brandished by a man who appears to be a twitchy addict.

It’s nighttime and the location is described with an abundance of sensory detail: sights (“jaundiced glow”), touch (slick cobblestones), sound (dripping water reverberating, a cry, fading footfalls), taste (“bitter dread), and smell (“rancid garbage”).

Nevsky Avenue is a good specific detail, but I wondered whether it referred to St. Petersburg in Florida or in Russia. I googled Nevsky Avenue and discovered a live webcam that shows real-time action on the Russian street.

BTW, TKZers, live webcams are helpful tools for writers to visualize locations, as are street views on Google Earth. If you’re unfamiliar with the lay of the land or need to refresh your recollection of a place you visited in the past, check these out.

BA does a good job of grounding the reader in a few paragraphs. We know where and when the action is taking place. There’s an immediate threat—an armed assailant who has a serious beef with the hero.

Starr is not only in physical danger. She describes what may be metaphorical or spiritual danger. She says she’s a fallen angel struggling on a path to redemption. That makes me wonder if the story has fantasy elements, although it’s categorized as a thriller. Mashups between genres can work well and are popular with current readers.

BA has packed a lot into one page and therein lies the problem. It’s too much, too soon.

While attempting to immerse the reader immediately in the story, BA instead threatens to drown us. It felt like trying to drink from a firehose—a cliche but an apt one.

Slow down and dribble information rather than deluge the reader. Make the reader thirsty for more.

My suggestion is to limit descriptions to a couple of senses rather than all five at once. Choose the best image to sum up the setting and delete the rest. It’s night in a dark cobblestone alley after a recent rain, and there’s a headless rat with maggots feasting on it. That does the job. The reader’s imagination fills in the rest.

Strong verbs are generally good, but here they’re overused. In the first two paragraphs: enveloped, bled, boxed, reverberated, sparked. They draw attention to themselves and pull the reader out of the story. Again, choose the best one and skip the rest.

The description of Starr’s assailant also overwhelms the reader with too many details. I suggest you pare it down to the most vivid, telling detail. Here’s a possible rewrite:

His eyes widened, pupils blown out to the edges with a glimmer of paranoia, most likely from a result of the street drug Krokodil, the cheap Russian homebrew version of heroin.

I had to look up Krokodil. It’s apparently common in Russia but not so much in other countries. That’s why I suggest adding a bit more explanation to clarify it’s not just another street drug. It’s somewhat unique to the location and cooked by the user, rather than purchased as a finished product from a dealer.

That detail is important because it makes the reader curious about Starr. How does she know about Krokodil? Is she a user, a dealer, an undercover officer?

The character of Starr as a fallen angel is intriguing but again it’s overdone. Let’s take another look at this paragraph of inner monologue.

That one word pierced harder than it should. Traitor. She could almost laugh at the irony. If the world only knew how far she’d already fallen. As her chosen name suggested, like a falling star, she had blazed a meteoric path from the heavens alongside one-third of the angels who’d foolishly followed Lucifer’s glorious but doomed light. But after her burning descent, her journey had become a slow, winding climb, as she searched for redemption.

How much of this does the reader need to know at this stage of the story? An accusation that she’s a traitor is intriguing. So is that she’s a fallen angel struggling for redemption.

What the world knows about her fall, the significance of her name, a meteoric path with one-third of other fallen angels who followed Lucifer, a burning descent, and a slow, winding climb—all this information can be saved for later.

Simply using dialogue shows enough about her character to make the reader curious.

“Traitor,” he said (get rid of the cliche “dripped with contempt”).

Starr turned down the corners of her lips and tilted her head. “Traitor? That hurts my feelings.”

What is her tone of voice? Is she being sarcastic? Cocky? Trying to provoke him? Saying something, anything to distract him from shooting her?

Instead of overexplaining her guilt complex, keep the reader wondering and turning the page.

“Long is the way and hard that out of hell leads up to light.” John Milton’s epic poem lingered in Starr’s mind. But right now, she was far from any light.

These lines struck me because they establish Starr’s conflict without overwhelming the reader. However, the current placement confuses the reader because it appears to continue earlier dialogue between the assailant and Starr.

What if you used these lines as the opener instead?

It’s a difficult judgment call to choose which details are important enough to be on the first page and which can be saved until later. The goal is to intrigue the reader, to tease them into wanting to learn more, but not overpower them.

Ask yourself: how much does the reader need to know and when do they need to know it? Don’t get rid of extra info. Save it for later. Decide when to slip in a detail here or a hint there.

As you review this page, also watch out for cliches and delete them. White knuckles, sweat beaded on the forehead, heart hammering her ribs, voice dripping with contempt—these don’t add to the story and detract from the interesting fallen angel concept.

Brave Author, please don’t be discouraged by this critique. You have a compelling idea, an unusual, exotic setting, and a character with an immediate problem. You start with dramatic action. Those are all positive qualities.

Please realize you don’t have to explain everything at once. Take your time.

Thank you for submitting this first page and best of luck with your story!

~~~

TKZers: As a reader with fresh eyes, what is your reaction to this page? What suggestions do you have for the Brave Author?

~~~

Debbie Burke’s new reference book The Villain’s Journey-How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate is now available in print as well as ebook.

Amazon: Print book   Ebook

Barnes & Noble: Print book   Ebook

Apple: Ebook

Kobo: Ebook

Resonance

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Resonance (noun) – the occurrence of a vibrating object causing another object to vibrate at a higher amplitude.

* * *

I’ve noticed several comments on TKZ lately where folks mentioned a particular book or scene “resonated” with them. Intuitively, we understand what that means, but when I mentioned it to my husband, whose background is physics, I got a mini-lesson on the physical properties of resonance.

It was fascinating.

That sent me off to read some more about this phenomenon. I discovered the howstuffworks site that gave a definition perfectly describing the concept:

“At its core, resonance is the extraordinary phenomenon where an object vibrates at the same natural frequency as another.”

There are several areas that clearly illustrate resonant behavior.

 

MUSIC

This may be the most obvious. Notes produce sound in waves. When you play a note on the piano, the string vibrates and causes the sounding board to vibrate and amplify the sound. In addition, playing two notes that have related frequencies produce a harmonious sound. For example, playing two notes an octave apart or a “perfect fifth” like playing C and G at the same time produce a resonant result.

SWINGS

We’ve probably all enjoyed having someone push us on a swing. If the push is at right moment, the swing will go higher. If it’s a little early or late, the frequency is off, and the swing won’t go as high.

 

BRIDGES

Soldiers are often ordered to stop marching in a synchronized cadence when they cross a bridge to avoid accidentally activating a dangerous frequency. The Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse is a perfect example of resonance that resulted in a bridge disaster. The wind’s force, combined with the bridge’s natural frequency of vibration, led to resonance, where the oscillations became increasingly large and violent. 

Fortunately, no one died in the Tacoma Narrows disaster, but it’s not the kind of resonance we’re aiming for in our writing!

* * *

WRITING

Now that we know what resonance is, how do we use the concept in writing a story? Again, from the howstuffworks site:

When we say a piece of art or music resonates with us, we mean that it strikes a chord in our hearts and minds. This emotional resonance is the magic that binds us to the world around us, creating a profound connection between ourselves and our experiences.

James Scott Bell addressed this topic in his recent post on “What Writers Can Learn from the Twilight Zone.” He concluded that the essence of a work is its heart, the ability to emotionally connect with the reader. He advises us

“What is it you care most deeply about, besides selling books? Tap into it. Draw from it. Make it thrum throughout your work.”

I believe the “thrum” JSB spoke of is the resonant quality of a story that touches the reader in a way to amplify his/her emotional response.

* * *

Here are a few examples of books that created that magic bond and resonated with me. Some because I connected with the characters, others because I felt the emotion even if I didn’t identify with the characters.

  • A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
  • West with the Night by Beryl Markham
  • To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
  • The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein

* * *

So, TKZers: How would you define resonance in writing? How do you ensure that your stories will resonate with the reader? What books have resonated with you?

* * *

 

The idea of a search for treasure hidden by the mysterious “Mr. Shadow” resonates with a lot of people in the university town of Bellevue. However, very few of them are as determined as these two young detectives.

But will Mrs. Toussaint’s advice that “Persistence is the key to success” prove true?

EBOOK ON SALE NOW: 99¢ on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Google Play, and Apple Books.

 

Reader Friday-You Were There

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Have you ever wished you could have been physically present, on-scene, an eyewitness to an historical event? Preferably with notebook and pen in hand, of course!

I have. I gave it some thought, and here’s where my imagination took me:

 

Paul Revere’s ride.

Washington crossing the Delaware.

The signing of the Declaration of Independence.

The first moon landing.

The first Major League Baseball game ever played. (According to my research, the first Major League game ever played was a National Association contest between the Cleveland Forest Cities and Ft. Wayne Kekiongas on May 4, 1871. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong on this…)

The first car rolling down the street. Or…

The Wright Brothers’ flight.

TKZers, please feel free to add your own!

 

If It Hurts Too Much, Stop

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By John Gilstrap

I posted here a few weeks ago that I am recovering from surgery on my lumbar spine–a two-level hemilaminectomy. (I just like the way the word sounds.) The surgery was successful, but like any invasion of one’s musculature and nervous system, recovery takes time. For me, that means resuming normal activity with one big asterisk: If what I’m doing at any time, whether walking, doing yard work, or shooting at the range, if the activity starts to hurt too much, I am to stop. There is no glory to be gained by pushing through the pain. Doing so today will just make tomorrow suck.

This advice occurred to me the other day as I was reading a piece posted on Medium entitled, “Write Like the Rent Is Due Next Week” by Felicia C. Sullivan. The piece begins,

My rent is due on Monday. I’ve listed four maxi dresses while shoveling down buttered pasta for breakfast. Refreshed my eBay store at least seven times in the past hour. I scan my home like a thief. What else can I sell?

The fascinating, extraordinarily well-written piece goes on at length to tell us that Felicia was “born to tell stories” while lamenting that “the romantic writer life” was a sham unless you had parents folding fat bills into your hands.” No one

 told me how far you’ll have to hustle to live with integrity. If I didn’t take the fancy marketing gigs, I’d have to hustle like my life depended on it. . . . I’d draft first lines while praying the ache in my mouth I’ve been ignoring won’t turn into another $3,000 root canal.

And then there’s this:

Creating art in the barbaric slaughterhouse that is late-stage capitalism, while you’re wondering how far and wide you can stretch a single dollar — it’s not romantic or noble, it’s messy, often erratic, and filled with crippling self-doubt.

Truly artistic writers, we learn, can no longer make a living, in large measure due to:

dwindling attention spans and an audience seal-clapping for simple prose. Easy stories. Happy endings.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen of the Readerverse, your selfish desire to be entertained by what you read is forcing some navel-gazing Bohemian aspirants into the position where they must consider the horror of, you know, getting a job outside their own minds and interact with three-dimensional people who exist beyond their laptops.

Want to make money off of your writing?

Dear writers and musicians and artists of all stripes: Get over your precious selves. I am 100% with you when you claim that the thing you create is art–even if it’s ugly or I don’t understand it. The imagination superhighway has no lanes. Let your colors and your chords and your characters run wherever they take you. That’s the beauty of art. It literally has no bounds, no definition.

The instant you put a price tag on it, though, and try to sell it to me, your art becomes a product, and you’ve surrendered the command chair to everyone else but you. If your masterpiece is a self-indulgent, depressing expose of your inner demons and you don’t care about “seal-clapping” readers, good on you. Just expect to sell fewer copies than the author who considers himself and entertainer and writes a potboiler targeting the largest possible audience.

This shouldn’t hurt.

When I read the angst inherent to Ms. Sullivan’s prose, which is amplified severalfold by some of the comments, I find myself confused. If it all hurts that much, why do it? Why not take a break from it? To posit that she’s “born” to inflict this kind of emotional pain on herself makes no more sense to me than to posit that one can be born to pull one’s fingernails out.

Precious few writers ply their craft full time, and one who’s very close to me chose to go back to a day job just to break the claustrophobia of fulltime writing.

Life is about priorities.

I cannot imagine a circumstance where writing would ever be the first priority in my life. That slot belongs to family, always and forever. And you can’t take care of your family if you can’t pay the rent. If you can’t pay the rent without having a day job, well, I guess that day job needs to be pretty high on the priority list, doesn’t it?

By way of shameless self-promotion, I’ve reactivated my YouTube channel, A Writer’s View of Writing and Publishing, with an episode focused on the very topic of Setting Your Priorities As A Writer. I invite you to give it a look if you get a chance.

 

 

Taming The Backstory Beast

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The Iceberg Approach: Exposition In A Short Film - The Script Lab

By PJ Parrish

I heard from one of my ex-students recently who is struggling with her work in progress. I met her years ago at a three-day workshop my sister and I did at Saturn Booksellers in Gaylord, MI. She was a solid writer with a great attitude who had self-pubbed two thrillers but was looking to up her craft.  Hadn’t heard anything since.

But this week, she reappeared on my radar. She was at war with The Beast. Also known as Backstory. And the beast was winning. Here’s part of her email:

Unlike my first book, this book has an important backstory the detective needs to know (and feel) that will help him deal with a tragedy that will be fall him as he solves the current case.

I am having trouble determining where and when to insert the backstory. It has many scenes ( 8 or 9) that I prefer writing as “live” as opposed to telling. It’s important that the backstory character, who we never meet in the current time portions of the book, comes to vivid life.

I need help with tips on when and how to insert and how to make sure the reader knows that the author has suddenly taken them to another time period so they aren’t confused.

Thank You
Jess W. 

Ah me. Who hasn’t been in Jess’s place? I know I have. Because Kelly and I dealt with a series, it got easier the farther along we went. By about book 4, we had less urgency to “explain” our protagonist’s past. But we realized, too, that the backstory had to become more layered and nuanced as our character progressed in age and experience.

I told Jess I’d get back to her after I talked to you guys. I asked her to give me a short synopsis of the backstory so I could get a better grip on the problem. I am hoping you’ll hang around here today, read up, and also give her some help.

First, some context. I’ll say it: Backstory is a bitch. You need it to bring your character to life and even illuminate the present-day plot. But man, it can really kill your forward momentum.

One of my go-to teachers on backstory is editor and writing teacher Jane Friedman. I’ve quoted her often in workshops. With 25 years in the publishing biz, she has dispensed easy-to-digest advice mainly via her blog/newspaper The Bottom Line. In 2023, she was named Publishing Commentator of the Year by Digital Book World. Jane’s expertise regularly features in major media outlets such as The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Today Show, Wired, Fox News, and BBC.  So let me establish a base line by quoting her on some basics of backstory:

  • Characters don’t exist in a vacuum: Who they are, what they want, and why they do what they do is rooted in who they have been and what they have done—in other words, backstory.
  • Backstory brings characters to life, gives them depth and dimension, and draws readers in. Without it characters may feel opaque or flat, their actions random or unmotivated.
  • But too much backstory can dilute and derail your actual story.
  • Backstory is a potent tool in your writing, and like all power tools it must be operated carefully—too much and your story may bog down and stall out; too little and readers may feel uninvested or confused. Finding that balance can be tricky.

I couldn’t have said it better. Here’s the link to her full post on the subject. Read it and don’t weep. It will help clear your head.

Backstory is a tool. A powerful one. It is also a strategy. You have to wield it with a clear head and great deliberation. You never just toss it in.

Here’s what I have learned about finding the “balance” Jane Friedman speaks of:  You should reveal backstory details only when they are relevant to the present plot and character development. You should never, ever, info-dump all at once. It must enhance the present narrative by providing context for current events and motivations.

And transitioning from present-plot to backstory is a fine art. I could do an entire blog on that alone. (Go read the link to that in Friedman’s blog). But we don’t have time today, because I want to help Jess out.

Here’s what she sent me about her present-day plot and its backstory:

Archie is a 30+ Detective Sergeant in a medium sized Michigan city. The current timeline opens with Archie responding to the kidnapping of a 5-year-old boy, taken from his bedroom during the night through an unlocked window. These are early investigative chapters with no backstory. There are many suspects—including the child’s mother.

BACKSTORY:

Archie is a loner, by-the-book-cop who takes every case to heart. He feels most of the cops he works are lazy and do not go the extra mile. His only friend is an older ex-sergeant who rescued him from a life of crime as a rebellious teen and put him on the path to the job he now has, resulting in intense loyalty on Archie’s part. The friend is also now a PI.

When Archie was 15, his beloved father was murdered. On day of this murder, Archie overheard a phone call from his mother which led him to suspect she (and an unknown lover) set up the murder of his dad on an isolated highway as he was on his way to buy Archie a used Jeep for his 16th birthday. Archie testified at a grand jury but the local police thought they did not have enough evidence and the crime remained unsolved. Archie’s stance in the case cost him his relationship with his mother and older brother.

Before his father’s murder, the father had purchased a small piece of land high on a hill on a 20-year Land Contract (where the owner financed it). Dad called the place Stardust after the old song. Archie and his brother assumed the contract after dad died. Eventually, Archie bought his brother out, but now is now responsible for all the payments including a large balloon payment coming at the end of the year.

Financially strapped, Archie lives in a small mom-and-pop resort of renetal cabins. His home is a memorial to his father with small reminders of a happy life lived before his mother ruined it all by her series of affairs. His dad’s records, the refinished stereo Archie plays them on, a portrait of him and his dad, a lava lamp his dad gave him, a POW Flag the father used to his hang for Archie’s grandad who never came home from Nam—stuff like that.

A year before the book opens, Archie met a woman who managed to squeeze through his emotional roadblocks. She was bookish and quiet. They connect emotionally when she tells him of her past abandonment, foster care and abuse where her rapist was never held accountable. Archie feels they are both people who never got justice. He falls in love with her. But five months in she suddenly leaves him a note breaking it off. Devastated, his mistrust of the world and women returns with a vengeance. (The woman never appears in the book but we learn of her through back story because who was, how she loved him, and what she does as the book starts to come to a close is vital to Archie’s character arc.)

FOOTNOTES FROM THE WRITER:

I understand there is a lot of material here and it may seem like the love interest overshadows the kidnapping case. But I’m not so sure that the “romance” isn’t worthy of the same page space.

I am wondering if it is possible that this is not a standard mystery but something more mainstream, with many stories told between the same covers? Why does a story have to be one genre? Does there have to be only one plot? And in using the girlfriend as backstory, what is the best way to tell the romance story without losing the momentum of the kidnapping?

Okay, crime dogs. Let’s try to help.

First thing I thought of was the famous quote usually attributed to Joseph Wambaugh. Paraphrasing here: It’s not about how the detective works the case. It’s about how the case works on the detective. In Archie’s case, for his backstory to become relevant, it has to somehow connect to the main plot — the boy’s kidnapping.

Here’s one problem I see immediately: The backstory case — the murder of Archie’s father, maybe at the hands of his wife and her lover — seems far more interesting than the kidnapping. Why? Because Archie is emotionally invested in his father’s death. He has NO INVESTMENT so far in the boy’s case — unless it ties to his hyper-need for justice. But is the vague notion of “justice” enough to connect the two cases? I don’t think so. It’s too impersonal, too ephemeral, too…noble.

I think Jess has to work hard to train the reader’s focus on the boy’s kidnapping and establish sympathy for THAT before she brings in Archie’s past. I haven’t read the manuscript, so I don’t know if this happens. Just raising a red flag here.

Backstory needs a trigger. What would it be for Archie? Something in the present has to trigger the past. If it doesn’t, the backstory steals the spotlight. It is similar to having two equal protagonists — inevitably, one becomes more interesting than the other and the reader then resents it when you move away from the more exciting one.

And what about the love interest? I have mixed feelings about that. Yes, she helped unclench his heart. But then she disappears — from his life AND the plot. Again, unless something in the FORWARD PLOT triggers his memories of her, it feels superfulous.

Backstory must always feel WOVEN IN. Not just attached. Backstory is always a beating heart. It should never be a prehensile limb.

Again, to quote Jane Friedman:

Context, memory, and flashback—the three main forms of backstory—feel most organic when readers can see what sparks the association in the present moment, how that backstory ties into what’s happening in the main story, and how it influences the character in the current story, whether by driving them to take a certain action, make a specific decision, evince a certain behavior, or gain some new understanding of a situation.

Jess asks:

  • Why does the story have to be one genre?
  • Why does there have to be only one plot?

Of course, you can cross-genre. But you can’t confuse a reader with expectations. Is this a ticking-clock thriller (to save the boy)? Is this a cold-case mystery (To solve Dad’s murder)? Is this romantic suspense (to “save” Archie emotionally?) You, the writer, have to make a choice on THE CENTRAL plot.  All else becomes sub-plot, which must then work in service to the main one.

Try this, Jess: Write a three-paragraph summary of your story that would serve as the back copy.  I bet, at this point, you cant do it.

And ask yourself that crucial question that unlocks the heart of every story: What does Archie want? Then plumb the depths:

  1. Most superficially: He wants to save the kipnapped boy
  2. Next level: He wants to prove himself within his department
  3. Deeper: He wants to find out who murdered his beloved father.
  4. Deepest: He wants to quell his own demons.

Whatever backstory you employ, it has to shed light on all of those levels. All else is…well, maybe gist for a different book.

Please feel free to weight in.

 

A Different Yarn

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The clear, waist-deep creek was full of salmon finning nose to tail as I eased up over a low rise. The sun was bright in a fresh new blue bowl overhead, and the mild July day it felt like fall.

We’d been told mosquitoes were the state bird of Alaska, so I smelled like a walking DEET factory. The scent of clothes and skin soaked in insect repellent me of camping when I was a kid. The Old Man was a firm believer in spraying us down until we virtually dripped.

We hadn’t seen a mosquito on the whole nine-day salmon trip, so the stuff must have worked great!

Unfamiliar birds flitted through the spruce trees that made me think of Christmas. Willows and alders lined Montana Creek, making casting difficult. There were other bushes I couldn’t identify, but I gave each of them unmentionable names when my leader tangled up so bad I had to break off the limber branches to free the fly.

That extra issue was irritating, because that day we were casting 9-weight rods with big fat salmon flies that apparently were a favorite treat for those bushes.

The fish ignored my offerings.

Frustrated, I dug in one of the many pockets on my fishing vest to find a box of flies I hadn’t yet tried. It was filled with pink, blue sparkles, yellow, black, and chartreuse morsels all crowded together in the foam holders.

It reminded me of five-year-old girls’ birthday party with dresses and favors.

Clipping off the unmolested fly, I chose a black streamer designed to resemble a leach. It’s kind of a Catch-22. The salmon aren’t hungry, but we throw flies that look tasty.

Strip line, cast, back cast, forward, one more back cast to stretch the line out and lay it in the water. The fly sinks, bumps along the gravel and sand bottom and slides down the back of a big King who is patiently waiting for the one immediately in front to get off her phone and go.

Five casts later, the fish still weren’t interested.

Clamping the rod under my arm, I slipped off the fly and rummaged through another pocket to locate a different box. The other pockets were so packed with equipment I looked as if I were wearing an inflated lifejacket.

Two young men appeared in shorts, ancient hiking boots, and nothing else. Mutt and Jeff looked to be about eighteen. I looked down at my chest waders and wading boots, fully conscious of my vented shirt, polarized glasses, and hat.

The kids had nothing else but lots of hair and salmon rods.

Both broke out in wide grins. The tallest I’d named Jeff chinned toward the creek. “You catching anything?”

“Can’t buy a bite. How about y’all?”

“Caught half a dozen. We threw them back.”

“Figures.” I sighed. “What are you throwing?”

The shorter one I’d named Mutt held out a 7-weight rod and unhooked his lure to show me. It looked like a piece of yarn from his grandmother’s knitting bag.

I adjusted my glasses. “What is that?”

A piece of yarn from my grandmother’s knitting bag.”

“What makes it appealing?”

Jeff shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not a fish, but it works.”

Mutt nodded. “It’s how you twist it on your hook.”

“Give me a bare hook.” Jeff held out his hand.

“The only bare ones I have are trout hooks.”

Mutt looked puzzled. “What do you catch trout for?”

I’d heard most Alaskans considered trout a trash fish. “I like to eat them.”

“Are you as good on trout as you are salmon?”

“Funny.”

Mutt took the streamer on the end of my leader and studied it for a moment before taking out his knife and stripping everything off except for the head. Then he plucked a wad of blue yarn from his wet pocket, untangled a piece, and somehow wove it onto the hook.

He held it out. “There. Did you see how I did that?”

I thought about the diopters in my fly vest, and how I wished I’d attached them to my trifocals to better see what he was doing. “Sure.”

He handed me two more pieces. “Keep these. I have plenty.”

Jeff pointed. “Mind if we play through?”

I shrugged. “Have at it.”

He flipped out a little line, made a cast, and we watched it drift. The line tightened, his rod bowed, and he had a fish on.

I sighed. “All right. Good luck.”

Engrossed in the fight, neither looked up and I made my way upstream to spend the rest of the day without a strike, but the twist of yarn worked the next day telling me I was onto something.

Now, I know this isn’t an outdoor blog, but as I told my girls when they wanted to know if reality and family are included, “Read between the lines.”

Today’s little suggestion relates to the way we write. Some would-be authors complain about how their submissions keep coming back, and I wonder, are they doing the same thing repeatedly without success?

Is their query letter a little off?

Is their elevator pitch wrong?

Is their entire story written from the wrong viewpoint? First person present tense?

Einstein supposedly defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. There’s no evidence he actually said it, however, the idea describes a lack of progress or a futile approach, which was the way I wrote thirty years ago without success.

Bestselling author Craig Johnson of the Longmire series and I were talking a few weeks ago in Amarillo and he mentioned the state of western writing. His series are contemporary westerns with a traditional feel. He suggested new authors abandon the idea of writing like Zane Grey and Louis L’Amour.

“That’s already been done, by Grey and L’Amour. And done very well. With that in mind, writers need to find a different approach.”

It reminded me of the first writing panel I ever attended. A gentleman behind a mounted video camera in the audience raised his hand during the Q&A portion of the presentation. “I’ve submitted a dozen books, over and over to different houses and agents, and not one has ever been accepted. What’s wrong with these people?”

An author leaned forward and spoke into the microphone. “Maybe you aren’t any good.”

It was a harsh thing to say, but maybe true. He’d been trying the same thing over and over again. It was time to adapt.

Which is what I had to do that morning on Montana Creek in Alaska. The next day I brought a 43-pound King salmon to hand, using that bit of twisted yarn. I’d changed my approach.

Think about it.