Villains vs. Antagonists

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

 (This post is excerpted from my upcoming craft book, The Villain’s Journey ~ How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate)

What is the difference between a villain and an antagonist? This question confuses many writers.

In the simplest terms: Villains are antagonists, but antagonists are not necessarily villains.

Antagonists don’t have to be bad guys with evil or malicious intent. They simply stand between the hero and the hero’s quest. They are obstacles the hero must overcome to achieve a goal.

Every genre needs antagonists. Without them, a story falls flat for lack of conflict.

Photo credit: public domain

The antagonist can be:

  • A rival (two suitors vying for the same lover)
  • An opponent (two sports teams fighting for a championship)
  • A competitor (Microsoft vs. Apple)
  • A situation or event (earthquake, volcanic eruption, hurricane, flood, wildfire, pandemic, war)
  • Self-doubt inside the hero.

Here are a few examples of antagonists that don’t have malicious intent.

  • In Ernest Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea, sharks strip the meat from Santiago’s magnificent marlin. They are hungry, not evil.
  • In Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White, Fern’s father isn’t being mean when he picks up an axe to dispatch a runt piglet. He’s a farmer trying to provide for his family.
  • In Sylvester Stallone’s film Rocky, Apollo Creed isn’t wicked. He’s a boxing champ protecting his title against underdog Rocky Balboa. In fact, the two opponents later become friends.

Various Genre Examples of Antagonists:

Romance needs someone or something that keeps the lovers apart.

  • In Romeo and Juliet, parents forbid the lovers from seeing each other.
  • In Casablanca, Rick, Ilsa, and Victor grapple with conflicts of love, loyalty, and duty during war.

Fiction for young readers often teaches life lessons like how to recover from failure, survive family breakups, or develop self-confidence.

  • Diary of a Wimpy Kid series by Jeff Kinney spans 19 books about middle-schooler Greg Heffley who suffers bullying, struggles with adolescence, and endures the trials of growing up.
  • Harry Potter begins as a powerless, downtrodden orphan. Through seven books, he discovers and develops his powers as a wizard, using his growing knowledge and strength to vanquish foes and come to terms with death.

Charles Dickens – public domain

Historical fiction captures the conflicts of a particular era.

  • Charles Dickens’s novels address social/political issues like children’s rights (Oliver Twist), revolution (Tale of Two Cities), and judicial reform (Bleak House).
  • John Steinbeck’s novels like Grapes of Wrath and Cannery Row spotlight the effects of the Great Depression.
  • In Winds of War and War and Remembrance, Herman Wouk shows families caught in peril during World War II.

Mainstream fiction is an umbrella term for stories that explore the struggles of the human condition:

  • To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
  • Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
  • The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold (features rape and murder therefore could also be considered crime fiction)

Photo credit: NASA

Science Fiction and Fantasy showcase imaginary worlds with unfamiliar, antagonistic  landscapes characters must navigate.

  • J.R.R. Tolkien explores Middle Earth.
  • Harry Potter studies at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
  • Star Trek and Star Wars “go where no man [or woman] has gone before.”

A major challenge for writers is how to characterize a villain without resorting to two-dimensional stereotypes. Snidely Whiplash is fun in cartoons but not all that interesting to crime fiction readers.

Snidely Whiplash

Try reframing the way you look at your villains. Instead of seeing them as evil, think of them first as antagonists. Climb into their skin and see the situation from their point of view.

Most villains feel their behavior, however horrible, is justified. Their reasoning may not make sense to you or me but, to them, it does. They view the hero as a rival, opponent, or competitor who threatens them or stands in the way of what they want or need.

Numerous authors have said, “The villain is the hero of their own story.”

Author Chris Colfer says, “The villain is a victim whose story hasn’t been told.”

Summing up:

Stories require conflict.

Antagonists provide that conflict.

All stories need an antagonist. Not all stories need a villain.

Villains are antagonists, but antagonists are not necessarily villains.

~~~

TKZers: Does your current work in progress have an antagonist or a villain?

As a reader, what do you prefer? Stories with a clearcut villain to boo? Or stories with antagonists who are more difficult to pin down? Or another variation?

~~~

Want to learn more about Debbie Burke’s upcoming book? Click the title for details about The Villain’s Journey ~ How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate.

What’s A Writer to Do NOW With Social Media?

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Photo by Panos Sakalakis on Unsplash

“Social media is not just an activity; it is an investment of valuable time and resources” —Sean Gardner

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Every year there are more social media platforms, more opportunities to reach readers, and more confusion. So today I invited Edie Melson, an acknowledged social media expert, to help us cut through the noise surrounding SM so we can use our platforms efficiently and effectively.

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Edie Melson is an award-winning author—and photographer—with numerous books to her credit. She’s a top-tier industry blogger, and sought-after speaker. Her blog, The Write Conversation has been part of the Writer’s Digest Top 101 Sites for Writers since 2017 and has over 6 million unique visitors. She’s also the director of the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference and is known as a leading professional within the publishing industry. Visit her at EdieMelson.com and through social media.

 

Take it away, Edie!

***

Social media has always been tough—challenging in so many ways. But in the beginning the process at least a little made sense. Updates came out in an orderly fashion, the rules and guidelines were minimal and we were all extremely naïve.

Now it almost seems takes an advanced college degree to understand the inner workings, algorithms, and guidelines necessary to reach the audience. But what if there was a way social media didn’t have to be that confusing and difficult?

I truly believe we’ve been looking at social media upside down—even when it was simpler. Social media was created to be SOCIAL, not sales. Yes, we used it in marketing and found ways to reach thousands. But once the new wore off, the story was the same. Nobody likes a commercial in the middle of their social time.

Beyond that, each platform has had time to grow and develop into unique communities. Because of that, what works on Facebook, may not work on Instagram or X. Once we could create updates and share them everywhere and now they each need to be—at the very least—tweaked to reflect the culture and the etiquette of each platform.

What’s a Writer to Do?

First, we do NOT give up. Although publishers are often more focused on email lists, most still require authors to have vibrant social media communities.

I truly believe there is still a process that works with social media. This answer can help us grow our reach and maintain the interest and loyalty of those who already follow us. This answer is the one thing that has always works, and truthfully I believe it always will. What’s the magic bullet?

Serve your audience.

It’s that simple and that complex. When we provide value for those who read our updates they will continue to share, comment, and read what we put out there. Don’t be put off by the idea of serving and think it’s some time-suck endeavor.

When we provide service—value—to those who follow us, we build loyalty. Even more than that, we prove we truly want to connect—not just sell them something. This builds trust and that opens the door to connections.

What does serving our audience have to do with building readership?

Trust.

Our readers follow us initially for several reasons—from interest in a writer who’s just beginning, to curiosity about author they like, to recommendations from others. They KEEP following us because they get something from us they enjoy—entertainment, information, and interaction. Beyond that, they feel a sense of authenticity from us.

Never forget, the world is full of lonely—skeptical—people.

What Does Serving Our Audience Entail

Serving our audience is as varied and unique as every writer out there. Included in service could be:

  • Links to valuable articles and blog posts
  • Videos and things that bring laughter
  • Insight on daily living
  • Encouragement in the challenges and everyday moments of life

When we serve our audience and give them value, we are also filling up their trust tanks. We give and give and give—and then their trust tanks are full enough for them to give back.

After serving and giving, then we ask. We share about a new project and ask for them to share. We offer a new book and ask for them to consider purchasing. They now trust us and what would have initially felt like a commercial, now feels more like an opportunity.

Looking at social media as a way to serve others definitely helps us as writers. We’re all incredibly weary of the rat race of chasing numbers. By focusing on service we can stop that treadmill and begin a journey leading to more value for everyone.

I truly believe we’ve been looking at social media upside down—even when it was simpler. Social media was created to be SOCIAL, not sales. Yes, we used it in marketing and found ways to reach thousands. But once the new wore off the story was the same. NOBODY likes a commercial in the middle of their social time.

Consider how our goals—and the measurement for reaching those goals—would change if our focus was on simply serving our audience.

  • We would find joy as we see how our words can help and encourage others
  • We would find contentment as we walk in our calling as writers
  • We would find peace as we let go of the things that are not our responsibility

Putting A New Social Media Approach Into Practice

Truthfully, because successful social media is all about relationship building, it works best when we treat it organically. However, because a project is easier to manage with a set of guidelines, here are two:

  • Be consistent.
  • Avoid self promotion.

It’s easy to get caught up in the to do list and forget the point.

They’re not numbers, they’re people.

We even begin to judge the worth of what we have to say by those numbers. Let me remind you why you’re doing what you’re doing. Why you sweat over a keyboard, struggling to find the right word. Why you risk rejection by submitting those carefully crafted words to editors, agents and contest judges.

We’re doing it because we want to make a difference in the world around us—a world made up of people. If all we’re looking for is higher numbers, we’ve missed the point. We’ve set a course that follows certain frustration and ultimate failure. So, if it’s not for the numbers, then what’s the point? Why even bother with social media?

The point is what the numbers represent…the point is the individuals who can be impacted by what we write…challenged by what we say…changed by what we share.

When I get caught up chasing the numbers, the significance of what I’m doing diminishes. But when I step away from the race and concentrate on who I’m writing for and who I’m writing to, things fall back into place.

I’m first and foremost a writer. For me, social media is a tool. It’s the means to an end. It helps me find my audience, serve them, and prove I want what’s best for them. But when I begin to measure my worth as a writer through the numbers of social media, I’ve gotten off course.

Soul Care for Writers

By Edie Melson

The isolation, fear and doubt often associated with writing can bring weariness and discouragement. Soul Care for Writers provides short, practical, creative activities—specifically tailored to writers—to care for your fatigued soul when you are weary, discouraged, and have little time for rest and peace. Although this book is particularly applicable to writers, it can also be effectively used by anyone who finds themselves weary and discouraged.

* * *

So TKZers: What Social Media platforms are you on? How do you use SM to connect with readers and friends?

What is Your Writer’s Mind Like?

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by James Scott Bell
@jamesscottbell

Happy Easter! As the minister once said, “This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.” Not exactly the true meaning, but there you are.

We now return you to our regularly scheduled post.

Hugh Howey, the breakout indie author of Wool (and the Silo series) once described his writer’s mind as “a pack of caffeinated Jack Russell terriers.” Fabulous! I totally get that.

The lyrical hippie satirist Tom Robbins said his mind was “like a pinball machine on acid.” When you read his work, you know that fits perfectly.

My favorite comedian, Steven Wright, said in an interview that he sees the world as a French impressionist painting in the pointillist style of George Seurat. He doesn’t see the big picture; he sees the dots, and finds one here and one over there, different colors, but somehow makes a connection. These he turns into one liners:  “I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time, so I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.”

I began to wonder how I’d describe my own writer’s mind. It’s not as rowdy as frenzied Jack Russells, nor is it a ring-dinging arcade game fueled by a variety of hallucinogens. It might have a little pointillism from time to time, but mostly it’s like Marty McFly skateboarding in Back to the Future.

One imagines Marty having fun freestyling, but when he has a location to get to he rides with purpose. Sometimes he catches the back of a passing vehicle to pull him along for a while. When he gets to where he’s going, he does a pop-up pickup of the skateboard, and he’s done.

When I develop a project, I like to freestyle, have fun, try things. Soon enough I have a location to shoot for—a plot for a novel, novella or short story. When my idea is sufficiently developed, I latch onto it and it pulls me along as I write. When I’m finished, I pick up the skateboard until such time as I start freestyling again.

I thought it might be fun, in lieu of my Sunday tutorial, to throw this question out to all of you: what metaphor would you use to describe your writer’s mind?

Have at it!

The Heart of the Matter

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Writing fiction is a mental and physical endeavor. But in different ways, heart is central, too.

Today’s Words of Wisdom reaches into the KZB archives to look at writing with heart, finding out what your characters love in their hearts, and summing up the heart of your novel in a slogan, thanks to posts by James Scott Bell, Joanna Campbell Slan, and PJ Parrish.

Lesson: If you’re going to get your writing noticed, read, published and re-read, you have to put your heart into it.

You’ve no doubt heard that before. At least once at every writer’s conference, you’ll hear someone on a panel say, “Forget chasing the market. Just write the book of your heart.”

I understand what’s being said, though I would tweak it a bit. You have to find the intersection of the market and your heart, then get that heart beating.

I’m a professional writer. I cannot afford to frolic in the fields of eccentric experimentation. But that doesn’t mean I only write what I think will make money.

There are those who have done that. Nicholas Sparks is right up front about how he chose his genre. He saw the tear-jerker-romance-by-a-male-author slot as a great business opportunity. David Morrell talks about this in his fine book, Lessons From a Lifetime of Writing. Morrell himself says he couldn’t do it that way. He has to have something “gnawing” at him to write. He has to find the heart of the matter.

It’s like when I was a criminal defense lawyer. (Spare me the jokes. When your son or daughter is arrested, you’ll call someone like me.) Anyway, defense lawyers have an essential part to play in our system of justice. It’s called upholding the Constitution. That’s what you have to believe when you’re defending someone who is pretty much cooked as far as the evidence goes. You have to believe that, or you’ll do a lousy job.

I write for readers. I write so that readers will enjoy what I write and buy my next book. But to do that, I have to find the heart of the story and ramp up the passion level.

See, the unexpurgated “book of my heart” would be a post-realistic satirical look at the philosophy department of a major university, written somewhat in the style of Kurt Vonnegut channeling Jack Kerouac.

Could I sell such a book? I don’t know. I know I’d enjoy writing it, but I also know it would be tough to sell a marketing department on it.

I could write it for fun, and might someday, but right now I need to keep earning a living.

So what I do is take my favorite genre, thrillers, think up concepts and then make them the book of my heart. I find ways to fall in love with my story.

The way it happens for me is through characters, getting to know them deeply, creating a colorful supporting cast –– and then scaring the living daylights out of them in the plot.

James Scott Bell—June 13, 2010

Here’s the Test

There’s an old adage: “Tell me who you love and I’ll tell you who you are.” It’s a great test to apply to our characters. Ask yourself, “Who or what does my character love?”

What Characters Are Driven to Do

Love is not only powerful; it also makes fools out of most of us. As authors we can use this primal drive to explain situations that would otherwise seem absurd.

Think back to Gone with the Wind. In the book, it’s Scarlett’s love for Tara that compels her to marry one unsuitable man after another. It’s her love of family that sends this fragile flower out into the fields to work like a common laborer. And her love of Ashley Wilkes forces her to remain beside his wife, Melanie, even as the Yankees approach.

Love Causes Conflicts of All Sizes

We all know the story of Romeo and Juliet, but love for life’s small pleasures can also cause our characters problems. Kiki Lowenstein loves food. Especially desserts. In many of my Kiki books, this amateur sleuth’s attention gets side-tracked when someone waves a particularly luscious treat under her nose. In one book, a nasty crafter ruins Kiki’s artwork while Kiki is too busy eating a gingerbread cupcake to keep an eye on her materials.

Telling Versus Showing

Of course, it’s not enough to tell our readers that our character loves someone or something. We have to show this emotion in practice. One way is by forcing our characters to make tough choices. When Cara Mia Delgatto adopts a Chihuahua with a broken leg, she doesn’t need one more complication in her life. However, she’s willing to adjust her world to accommodate the ailing pup because he’s a rescue dog, and Cara is all about second chances.

How our characters spend their time is another way we show what they value. If a character doesn’t spend time with his children, readers might assume they aren’t an important part of that character’s life. However, if a tattered family photo falls out of the character’s wallet as he pulls out a dollar bill, we have to believe his children matter, but something keeps him away from them.

Characters can demonstrate their love by their reactions. Perhaps your character’s voice changes when he’s talking to his wife. Or maybe your protagonist gets teary-eyed when coming across a man’s jacket in her closet. These responses show the reader a powerful emotion at work.

The next time you create a character, ask yourself who or what this particular player loves. Make a list. Using what you learn will help you build a more realistic, well-rounded character that readers will relate to.

Joanna Campbell Slan—May 6, 2015

All great stories can be summed up in just a couple words. And if you can’t boil your own story down to a juicy headline, then maybe you don’t really know what your story is about at its heart.

If you’ve ever had to write a concept or produce your own back copy, you know how hard this is. Or if you’ve ever tried to convince an editor at a writers conference to read your manuscript. This is known as “the elevator pitch” — you have to sell an agent your story in time it takes to go up four floors in the hotel elevator.

And when you do get published, it’s useful if you ever find yourself at a book signing and someone asks you, “So, what’s your book about?”

You don’t regurgitate plot. You give them the elevator pitch. And if you can’t answer in three sentences or less, chances are you’ve lost a sale.

Think about advertising. A pithy pitch sells the product. Take the slogan “A Diamond Is Forever,”  which has appeared in every De Beers ad since 1948. Diamonds are inherently worthless. Your ring drops in value 50 percent the moment you leave Zales. But with one slogan De Beers made a diamond into a symbol of wealth and romance. It perfect captures a deep sentiment — a diamond, like your relationship, is eternal.

Coming up with a headline or slogan for your story is a great clarifying exercise. It makes you think beyond mere plot and deep into that sweet spot where story, character and theme mesh.

Okay, enough lecture. Let’s have some fun.

Here is a cool little exercise to get your brain moving to think about story slogans. It was created by screenwriter Nat Ruegger. Take any common advertising slogan, like for Kentucky Fried Chicken or Volvo. Put it into the past tense and make it the first line of your book and see where it takes you.

I struggle coming up with opening paragraphs so I was leery. But I tried this with the Lays Potato Chips slogan — “You Can’t Stop At Just One.” (later changed to “Betcha can’t stop at just one.”)

I couldn’t stop at just one. Believe me, I tried. Maybe it was because I was so hung up on blonde hair, especially when it was braided, falling down a girl’s back like a piece of rope. My first had braided blonde hair. I strangled her with my bare hands, but for all the others after that, I used a yellow rope. I guess because I wanted to get the taste of that first one back again. The first is the most delicious, you see.

I almost went with Nike’s “Just Do It.”  It was inspired by the death row words of murderer Gary Gilmore — “Let’s do it.” Seems to me there’s a good serial killer first-person thriller that opened with “I just did it.”

Then I thought of Taco Bell’s slogan “Head for the Border!” That made me think of consummate storyteller Bruce Springsteen and his song “Highway Patrolman.” It opens with these lyrics:

My name is Joe Roberts, I work for the state
I’m a sergeant out of Perrineville barracks number 8
I always done an honest job as honest as I could
I got a brother named Franky and Franky ain’t no good
Now ever since we was young kids it’s been the same comedown
I get a call on the shortwave, Franky’s in trouble downtown
Well if it was any other man, I’d put him straight away
But when it’s your brother sometimes you look the other way

The song ends with Joe in squad-car pursuit after his brother, who has stabbed a man and is on the run. I could see a story beginning late in the scene with this line: “He headed for the border.” Here’s how Springsteen ended his song:

Well I chased him through them county roads
Till a sign said Canadian border five miles from here
I pulled over the side of the highway and watched his taillights disappear

One more. I next tried Clairol’s famous slogan “Does She Or Doesn’t She?” (Only her hairdresser knows for sure). It seemed ideal for a cozy set in a hair salon:

Did she or didn’t she? No one would ever really know. Because when Marcel Marseau, the owner of the chi-chi Palm Beach salon To Dye For, was found floating in the water hazard of the  17th hole of the Everglades Golf Course, we all suspected Lily Van Pulletzer.  But then her body was found stuffed in the butler’s pantry at Mar-a-Lago, and I knew this was going to be the toughest case of my career.

Okay, now you see why I don’t write humor. But you get the point. A great slogan can get your motor running when you’re stuck in neutral. And maybe if you can write a great slogan or headline for your story, you can figure out what you are really trying to say.

Now it’s your turn. Think of a good slogan and put it in the past tense. Pick first person or third and give us a great opening paragraph to a fabulous crime story.

PJ Parrish—October 6, 2020

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  1. Do you have a book of heart you’ve written or that is waiting to be written?
  2. How important is knowing what your characters love to you?
  3. Can you come up with a slogan that sums up your novel? If you do, please feel free to share.

Reader Friday: Word Games

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Do you know what my favorite part of the game is? The opportunity to play. —Mike Singletary

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There seems to be some evidence that playing word games is good for your brain. Some people say it’s like a workout for your little gray cells. According to Dr. Oriana Cornett of St. Joseph’s Health

Incorporating puzzles and word games into your daily routine can be a game-changer for your brain health. These activities are more than just entertaining; they’re tools for maintaining and enhancing cognitive function and boosting mental acuity in a variety of ways.

Some of the areas of benefit she lists are

  • Improved Problem-Solving Skills
  • Language and Vocabulary Growth
  • Mental Agility

That’s great news for readers and writers (and for everybody else.) But whether word games improve brain function or not, they’re fun to play. Some I like are

  • Crossword puzzles
  • Wordle
  • Spelling Bee
  • Scrabble

I also have a few apps on my phone that are fun to play whenever I take a minute or two to relax. These include

  • 7 Little Words
  • Elevate
  • Wordbrain

 

So TKZers: Do you play word games? Do you think word games are good for brain health? What are some of your favorites?

 

Conversations With the Dead

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“To attain wisdom, you must converse with the dead.” ~Pythia at the Oracle of Delphi to Zeno of Citium

On the surface, that’s a strange statement. It’s downright weird and completely impossible if taken literally. But I don’t think the Pythia at the Oracle meant this as anything but a metaphor or aphorism. I think she simply advised Zeno to gain knowledge by reading the words of long-gone writers.

Zeno of Citium (334-262 BC) was the founder of stoic philosophy. A literate man of his time, Zeno was a Cypriot merchant who suffered a shipwreck, lost everything, and washed up on the Greek shores near Athens. He found his way to the Agora (market) and into a bookshop where he discovered the recordings of Socrates.

Zeno was deeply moved by Socratic logic and critical thinking skills. This led him to start a school of wisdom and teach his ideas to students in the Stoia Poikile (Painted Porch) in the center of the market. Zeno’s followers were called the Stoicoi, now known as Stoics.

One of Zeno’s fact-finding trips was to the Grecian city of Delphi on the slopes of Mount Parnassus. Here was the Temple of Apollo where the Pythia at the Oracle of Delphi—a revered and sacred high priestess—channeled messages from the gods to mortal humans. Ancient Greeks believed the Oracle, hosting the Pythia, was the very navel (omphalos) of the world and a spiritual axis through which mortals could consult the divine.

The Oracle’s historic visitors included kings, generals, and philosophers covering hundreds of years. Thought leaders from across the Mediterranean pilgrimaged to Delphi where the Pythia rambled trance-like riddles to be interpreted by the truth seekers. According to a National Geographic special, the Oracle was a rock fissure that emitted psychoactive vapors and that the Pythia was, in fact, quite stoned when she uttered inspirations.

Regardless of the truth of the trance, it’s well recorded that Zeno was at the Oracle of Delphi around 300 BC and received his cryptic message, “To attain wisdom, you must converse with the dead.”

There is profound wisdom in this message when you consider it objectively. Learning from those who’ve gone before us is a powerful life tool. Take the inscriptions (translated into English) in the architrave of the Temple of Apollo entrance:

“Know Thyself” — a call to self-knowledge and humility.

“Nothing in Excess” — a warning about hubris.

“Surety Brings Ruin” — a caution about overconfidence.

The Oracle of Delphi symbolized a truth that transcends time. Wisdom doesn’t come from answers alone. Wisdom arises from the questions we dare to ask and the honesty with which we face ourselves. Such as having conversations with the dead.

Personally, I’m thinking of two deceased men I can gain wisdom from. I have, but have never read, the memoirs of Winston Churchill and Dwight D. Eisenhower that I inherited from my father. This post motivates me to dig in.

Kill Zoners — What books do you recommend we read that are wise conversations with the dead?

Will You Read From Your Book, Please?

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By John Gilstrap

I enjoy speaking to crowds. I like the immediacy of it, the direct interaction with the audience. I’ve previously shared tips and insights on how to deliver more memorable presentations (memorable in a good way–not the way we remember Uncle Henny’s drunken wedding toast). Today, I want to address a specific and mostly painful corner of every author’s public speaking life: the live reading.

Personally, I don’t get the attraction of readings. As a consumer of books, I’m much more interested in learning about the author and his process than I am in hearing him give what is almost always a bad performance of words that I’m going to read for myself anyway.

Said bad performances fall into two major categories for me:

  1. The dreadful, droning monotone of an author who seems somehow surprised by the words he’s projecting to either his feet or his lap. If he’s been given a microphone, he’s holding it in the hand that is also holding the book, rendering it useless. If they’re only moderately bad, they’ll be done in 10 minutes, but because Murphy rules the world, the really bad ones will mumble on for 20-25 minutes. When they’re done, the always polite bookstore audience will reward them with a golf clap.
  2. The pretentious literary author who took elocution lessons from Henry Higgins himself and over-enunciates every syllable of his golden prose that may or may not tell an actual story. When he’s done, his students in the audience will reward him with cheers and a standing O.

There’s a fundamental difference between delivering a speech vs. delivering a live reading.

When I deliver a speech or teach a workshop, I get to be myself. As the subject matter expert for the duration of the gig, I deliver my information my way. The only role I play is myself.

Live readings of fiction require a level of acting which I don’t possess. I feel silly raising my voice to sound like a woman or a child. Acting and writing are related yet entirely different skill sets. Given that this is the entertainment business, nothing makes an audience more uncomfortable than an uncomfortable performer.

When the game doesn’t suit you, cheat.

Remember Kobayashi Maru? In the Star Trek universe, Star Fleet cadets are faced with an unwinnable simulation called the Kobayashi Maru test, in which the cadet has to choose between risking near certain death to rescue the crew of a fuel ship, or leaving the fuel ship crew to die. Captain James T. Kirk made history by being the first cadet ever to solve the dilemma. He did it by changing the program. He cheated because he didn’t accept the inevitability of losing. I always admired that about him.

When I am left with no choice but to read from my book, I do not, in fact, read from my book. Instead, I read an original work that is closely based on my book. That means never reading from Page One. If I did that, people in the audience who already had a book in their hand would be confused as they tried to read along, and they’d miss everything I was presenting.

My specially prepared piece is engineered to be 5 minutes long, give or take ten seconds, and it will end with a cliff hanger. The piece will include within the text all the introductory information needed to know who the characters are, and I will have excised all elements of backstory, and all unnecessary foreshadowing. It’s a stand-alone performance piece that parallels the book’s events and hopefully whets the appetites of potential readers who are on the fence about buying the book.

Because it will be the same piece every time I read for that particular book, I’ll have it largely memorized, so I’ll be able to make eye contact with the audience. Even if I can’t do the acting, I’m still communicating.

What about you folks? What are your secrets to surviving the live read-aloud?

Don’t miss the launch of Burned Bridges–the first book in my brand new thriller series!

First Page Critique: Get Quinn Moving And Out Into That Snow!

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Before he was Marshal Dillon, James Arness was the terrorizing ...

By PJ Parrish

I love stories that take place in frozen tundras. Alien James Arness unthawed and on a rampage in The Thing From Another World. Neanderthal Timothy Hutton unthawed and seeking his god in Iceman. The Green Bay Packers vanquishing The Dallas Cowboys in the 1967 championship Ice Bowl game.

Icy climes have been the setting for some top-notch fiction. Maybe it’s the innate drama of the setting, or more likely the potential therewithin to exploit ice as a metaphor. F. Scott Fitzgerald’s 1920 short story “The Ice Palace” is about a southern belle who becomes engaged to a man from the North. She almost freezes to death in an ice palace at a winter carnival, which leads her to rethink the engagement. But ice stands as a metaphor for the differing attitudes of Northerners and Southerners.

Some of my favorites: Smilla’s Sense of Snow with its chilling opening at a Greenland funeral. Jo Nesbo’s The Snowman. And The Hunting Party, where Lucy Foley uses an important trope of the mystery genre: People aren’t always what they appear to be below their frozen surfaces.

And I have to add in here one of the most startling opening lines in fiction, from Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s One Hundred Years of Solitude:

Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.

Full disclosure: Several of my own books take place in the frozen wilds of my native Michigan, including a scene where a body is found frozen in a lake and a terrifying trip across the “ice bridge” between Mackinac Island and the mainland that plunges my hero Louis Kincaid in the icy depths. So when this submission came across my desk, I was predisposed to like it. Thanks for offering it up, dear writer. I’ll be back in few minutes with my comments.

OUT ON THE ICE
a horror story

Hospital Corpsman Quinn Marie Chambers sat in the snow tractor her medical emergency kit in her lap, watching the other naval personnel and Marines investigating the beached whale. A small group of native Inuits looked on and seemed nervous.

There was little for Quinn to do as long as the other members of the Emergency Response Team didn’t get hurt somehow. She shivered at the cold.

The Inuit guide they called Mac sat in the back seat. He stirred, trying to get a better view of the goings on.

Quinn sipped warm coffee from her thermos cup and watched Chief Petty Officer Selsman trudge toward the big snow tractor. She finished her cup and poured another for him.

A nasty wind ladened with heavy snow and particles of ice blew into the cab when Selsman opened the driver-side door.

Quinn handed him the cup. “Beached whale?”

“Maybe.”

“What do you mean?

“Someone put nine bullets into its head.”

“Murder?’

“Maybe. Not sure if you can actually murder a whale.”

Mac said, “This will anger Qalupalik. This is an unnatural death. This will dirty her hair.” He shook his head in resignation.

“Who the hell is Qalupalik?’ Quinn asked.

“She is—”

“—a legend. A Greenland fairy tale. She is the monster in the deep protecting sea life. It teaches children not to screw up the ocean,” Selsman said.

Mac held his chin up and crossed his arms..

“Don’t worry about it. NCIS will be here soon to investigate to see if any of our personnel are involved. If not, it’s not our problem.”

In the back seat, Mac quietly chanted an Inuit prayer for the dead whale.

The two Marines on the team high stepped through the snow and wind toward the tractor. One held his hand wrapped in a handkerchief that had blood stains on it.

Quinn scooted over to let the marine have space to sit down. She tended to the wound. “How did this happen?’

“I was digging a bullet out of the whale’s head and my knife slipped.”

“Did you get the bullet?” Chief Selsman asked.

The marine smiled. “Damn right I did. And I bagged and tagged it as well.”

“Gotta love a good marine,” Selsman said.

“You should throw that bullet back into the ocean so Qalupalik can confront the killer with it,” Mac said.

“Can’t. It’s evidence,” Selsman said, starting up the tractor’s engine.

___________________________________

First off, I like the concept here. I mean, a dead whale isn’t as sexy, crime-wise, as a dead human being. But the fact the whale has nine bullet in its head is pretty cool, but more intriguing: Why do these Marines care? So I was definitely willing to read on. Good original set-up. Haven’t read this one before.

Some other good things: The writer handles dialogue well. It’s easy to follow, clean and I like the clipped no-nonsense tone of the Marines. It feels authentic.

But. Here’s the one thing I didn’t like: The protag’s detachment. The clue is right there in the second paragraph: “There was little for Quinn to do as long as the other members of the Emergency Response Team didn’t get hurt somehow.”

She is watching. She is waiting. She is doing nothing. All the interesting action is happening apart from her. Now, here’s the problem: She is not an active part of this investigation. Her job is medical only. As the writer puts it, she can do nothing but sit there unless someone gets hurt. So right from the get-go, she is positioned as a passive character by the circumstances.

How could this have been fixed? Not sure. And it’s not up to me to rethink or rewrite someone’s story. And it’s not terrible the way it is. I just wish there was a better portal for Quinn to enter the story, grab the spotlight — and our attention. So I am going to ask the writer to step back and look for a different angle, a different perspective on this scene unfolding.

It could be something as simple as changing the order of events. Does Quinn HAVE to be sitting in the snow tractor waiting? Wouldn’t she be more interesting if basic curiosity moved her to go out and see the whale for herself? Maybe, dear writer, you entered your story a beat too late. Maybe you need to back up and have her out there on the ice with the others during the initial discovery?

What would that do to improve things? You eliminate distance and detachment. If she’s OUT THERE you can give us a description of the whale and the scene (right now we have none). If she’s OUT THERE, she can see for herself the whale’s head. Instead of you saying she is watching (passive) the marines investigate “a beached whale” you can have her OUT THERE thinking (active) “This was no beached whale. Someone had shot the whale in head.”

A couple years ago, a pygmy whale washed up on a California beach with a bullet hole in its head. True story. I will spare you the gory photos here. (here’s the link) but it would have made for a very bloody dramatic scene for Quinn to witness and describe for readers.

Quinn needs to see it. Quinn needs to feel it. Quinn needs to tell us what she is experiencing. The last place you want her to be is inside a vehicle, drinking coffee and waiting.

Make her a hero. Even if there is not yet anything heroic for her to do. You need to set her up as a potential hero. Active, not reactive.

Then, as she views this massacred whale, a marine gets cut and she finally has something to do. Maybe this then can provide contrast to her feeling of impotency, of NOT being a part of the action.

Two other problems: First, where are we? There is one reference to “Greenland fairy tale.” Does this take place in Greenland? Where exactly? Because you’re dealing with Marines, I assume we’re near Pituffik Space Base (formerly Thule Air Base). This is way up north and operated by the U.S. Space Force. It is one of the most strategically important military sites in the world.  (Hence its presence in our political news). You must find a way to establish this. It can be handled easily through Quinn’s thoughts:

They were at least twenty miles from the air base at Pituffik. There wasn’t a village or a single hut anywhere near this isolated beach. They were 750 miles from the North Pole and the nearest settlement, Qaanaaq, was more than 70 miles away.

Second problem: You really need to spice up your description. Such a fabulous setting. Such a gruesome “murder.”  Yet you don’t give us any sense of what it looks like, feels like, SMELLS like. (dead mammal on beach!). Again, we’re taking about the difference between telling and showing. Don’t tell me it’s cold; show me. Don’t tell me the Inuits “are nervous.” Show me via their actions, through her consciousness.

This is a good first draft, dear writer. With a re-positioning of Quinn and some vivid description (use all the senses!), you’ll have a stronger opening. Some quick line edits follow. My comments in blue

Hospital Corpsman Don’t open with a title. Find a way to slip in later, more artfully what she does. Her ACTIONS should do it. Quinn Marie Chambers sat in the snow tractor her medical emergency kit in her lap, watching the other naval personnel and Marines investigating the beached whale. A small group of native Inuits looked on and seemed nervous. This opening graph is passive. Why not opening with a vivid description of the corpse? Then surprise us by telling us, through Quinn’s thoughts, that it’s not a MERE beached whale.

There was little for Quinn to do as long as the other members of the Emergency Response Team didn’t get hurt somehow. She shivered at the cold. A little lazy; what does this cold FEEL like? Where is she from? Maybe this godforsaken Greenland cold feels completely different than the cold in her native WHERE? Never miss a chance to compare and contrast and to slip in a nuggest of her backstory.

The Inuit guide they called Mac sat in the back seat. He stirred, trying to get a better view of the goings on. More distancing. 

Quinn sipped warm coffee from her thermos cup and watched Chief Petty Officer Selsman trudge toward the big snow tractor. She finished her cup and poured another for him.

A nasty wind ladened with heavy snow and particles of ice I know you can do better than this. “nasty wind” is cliche. Has she been in this climate/place long or is she new here? Frame it through her experience and consciousness blew into the cab when Selsman opened the driver-side door.

Quinn handed him the cup. “Beached whale?”

“Maybe.”

“What do you mean? Again, she is passive. And you’ve deprieved the reader of SEEING THE ACTUAL SCENE! 

“Someone put nine bullets into its head.”  Bingo! This is where things get interesting. This should be like the third paragraph of your opening.

“Murder?’

“Maybe. Not sure if you can actually murder a whale.”

Mac said, “This will anger Qalupalik,” Mac said. This will dirty her hair.” He shook his head in resignation.  Great line! Let it stand there alone for a second.

“Who the hell is Qalupalik?’ Quinn asked.

“She is—”

“—a legend, Selsman said.. A Greenland fairy tale. She is the monster in the deep protecting sea life. It? teaches children not to screw up the ocean,” Selsman said.  Love how you brought in the Inuit lore.

Mac held his chin up and crossed his arms.. Not sure what you’re going for here? Anger? 

“Don’t worry about it. NCIS will be here soon to investigate to see if any of our personnel are involved. If not, it’s not our problem.” Who’s talking? And you need to start dealing with Greenland officials or at least bringing it up. Whales are both hunted AND strictly protected in Greenland. They would be obligated to immediately notify proper authorities.  

In the back seat, Mac quietly chanted an Inuit prayer for the dead whale. Unless Quinn understands Inuit, she wouldn’t have a clue what he’s chanting about. STAY IN HER POV. She can think that he seems to be chanting or singing but she can’t really know, can she? That is YOU the writer talking, not the character. Again, stay in her POV: What does it SOUND like? Don’t tell me he’s chanting; describe the sound.

The two Marines on the team high stepped through the snow First mention, btw, that there’s snow on the ground and wind toward the tractor. One held his hand wrapped in a handkerchief that had blood stains on it.

Quinn scooted over to let the marine have space to sit down. She tended to the wound. “How did this happen?’

“I was digging a bullet out of the whale’s head and my knife slipped.”

“Did you get the bullet?” Chief Selsman asked.

The marine smiled. “Damn right I did. And I bagged and tagged it as well.”

“Gotta love a good marine,” Selsman said.

“You should throw that bullet back into the ocean so Qalupalik can confront the killer with it,” Mac said.

“Can’t. It’s evidence,” Selsman said, starting up the tractor’s engine.

So, dear writer….again, thanks for submitting. I enjoyed reading this and want Quinn to claim her spotlight. And make this setting a “character” in itself. Remember what Smilla said: The Inuits have a hundred words for snow. You need more words! Would love the see your next attempt. Keep writing!

 

Should You Use Profanity in Your Writing?

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My guest today has a fresh perspective on the use of profanity in fiction. Should we? Shouldn’t we? Is there a happy medium? Please help me welcome one of the most supportive writers I know.

If you’re unfamiliar with Joy York, she grew up in Alabama but has spent much of her adult life in the Midwest, currently living with her husband, Terry, and their golden doodle, Loki, in Indiana. Inspired by a family legacy of oral storytelling, she began creating stories and adventures for her son when he was growing up. With encouragement from family and friends, she began to write them down.

Her first book, The Bloody Shoe Affair: A daring and thrilling adventure with the jailer’s daughter, a YA mystery set in the rural south in 1968, was published in 2015. It became a series, The Jailer’s Daughter’s Mysteries, when The Moonshine Murders, Book 2, was released in March 2024. Genuine Deceit: A Suspense Novel was published on Amazon in May 2021. Protective Instinct: A Thriller (World Castle Publishing) was published in January 2024.

Welcome to TKZ, Joy!

Thanks, Sue!

Whether or not to use profanity in your writing has been a much-debated subject. In recent years expletives have become much more prevalent in writing to add realism. Some more conservative thoughts are that profanity of any kind detracts from the quality of your writing and should not be used under any circumstances. Others feel it reflects poorly on your credibility.

In an article published by Nathaniel Tower, Managing Editor of Bartley Snopes, Should Writers Use Profanity? he offers some excellent guidelines. He agrees that it can add realism but using too much can lessen the quality. Context is key. It can enhance real life situations portraying rough, gritty characters and emotionally charged scenes. He cites Wolf of Wall Street as an example of liberal use of profanity to depict the “high-stakes and fast-paced atmosphere.”

It is important to consider your purpose for the use of expletives. Is it for shock value or to show explosive emotions in a scene or is it to show your character’s edgy personality? Gratuitous use can take away from your story and put your readers off. You must consider your target audience.

Most other resources agree with Tower’s assessment of when not to use profanity. Children’s books, fantasy, and academic or informational writing. Other include religious writings.

Cole Salao wrote an article for TCK Publishing, How and When to Use Swearing. He believes you can learn a lot about your characters personality, background, and mood from their choice of words. To ignore the language that would portray a gritty character would make them sound unrealistic. My interpretation is if you have a scene with a drug dealer getting ripped off by a buyer, I doubt he would say, “Please sir, give me the money you owe me before I get really mad.”

Salao’s lists some appropriate uses:

  • Emotional Impact
  • Swear words can be used as an enhancer. It can depict emotions like anger, frustration, and extreme joy.

Establishing Voice or Tone

  • It helps define your character and adds authenticity.

Connecting With Your Audience

It can make the reader feel like the writer is having an honest, unfiltered conversation with them. It can especially work well with personal essays, memoirs, or blogs. Don’t forget the audience you are trying to reach. Beware that some cultures and regions interpret words differently.

Salao’s Tips for usage

  • Use profanity intentionally. Will it fit or ruin your purpose? I love this quote he uses to explain his meaning. “Think of it as a seasoning. A little enhances the flavor, but too much can overwhelm your readers and dilute your message.”
  • Less is more.
  • It should be natural to your character’s personality, though using it to show them breaking a rule or making an out of character statement can make an impact.
  • Check your publication guidelines.
  • Sometimes using subtext instead allows the reader to fill in the blanks.
  • Swearing is usually only used in non-fiction if it is a personal story, quoting accuracy, or emphasizing a point.

Ultimately, whether you decide to use profanity is up to you. If done well, it can add authenticity, emotion, and impact to your word.

I have used profanity sparingly in my two adult thrillers. In one book, I felt it was natural to the characters and situations to show heightened emotions in a scenes. In the other, it was to show contrast in personalities between characters. I received a review challenging me to not use profanity in my future books, but they gave me a very good review. Another gave me a good review but warned others in the text that there was some language. I suppose I will never know if anyone put my books down when they read the first swear word.

Have you used profanity in your books, or do you steer clear?

When self-absorbed, international bestselling author Sebastian Bartoli refuses to write the biography of the infamous, mob-connected Maximillian Fontana, the consequences turn deadly.

Check it out on Amazon.

 

 

 

Connect with Joy:

Website: https://www.joyyork.com

OnX @joyyorkauthor

BlueSky @JoyYorkAuthor.bsky.social

Facebook: Joy York Author

Instagram: @JoyYorkBooks

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/joy-york-5050aa11

Thesaurus Love

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by James Scott Bell
@jamesscottbell

Let’s give a little love to the poor thesaurus. Because there’s a bit of writing advice that’s been floating around long enough to become a critique-group axiom. It has to do with the work of Mr. Peter Mark Roget (1779 – 1869) and the throwing of shade thereon.

I trace this back to an article written for the 1988 Writer’s Handbook (which sits on my shelf) by one Mr. Stephen King. It is titled “Everything You Need to Know About Writing Successfully—in Ten Minutes.”

In said article Mr. King advises not looking at reference books when writing a first draft. Use them later if you wish. Except the thesaurus. “Better yet, throw your thesaurus into the wastebasket…Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule.”

A similar edict was issued by the author of Robert’s Rules of Writing (a book I am not gifting to Brother Gilstrap): “The minute you pick up a thesaurus, you’ve muddied the waters. Into the clear running stream of your prose, you’ve introduced a foreign agent. Nothing sticks out in a piece of prose like the words you’ve plucked from those long lists of synonyms, each one more obscure than its predecessor.”

Not that these gentlemen have an opinion or anything. But I wonder, is such unqualified vitriol (or should I say contempt? Or disdain?) justified? I think not.

First, King offered his opinion in the context of writing a first draft. He didn’t want a writer stopping to grab a physical reference book off a shelf, thus breaking “the writer’s trance.” Just make a guess or mark the spot, and look stuff up after the draft is done.

That’s valuable advice for writing in “flow.”

But with the digital tools available to us today, you can find synonyms in under ten seconds. Flow isn’t the issue it used to be.

Second, both of the above authors assume that the word one is looking for is a “fancy” word, one that does not traipse easily into the writer’s mind. That word will always be “wrong” they say, because its obscurity will confound the poor reader.

However, it may not be a fancy word the writer is looking for. It might simply be an alternative to the word that he immediately typed. With a synaptical flex of the brain a preferable word may come easily to mind. But if not, a click opens the e-thesaurus for a quick perusal.

Example: In my fourth paragraph, above, I originally wrote A similar command. I didn’t sound right to me; not precise enough. No writing guru has a warrant to command anything.

So I clicked open my Mac dictionary, typed command and hit the Thesaurus tab. Up came this list: order, instruction, directive, direction, commandment, injunction, decree, edict, demand, stipulation, requirement, exhortation, bidding, request. I chose edict right away. This isn’t a “fancy” word, or a word I wouldn’t normally use. Boom, in it went, and I continued typing.

That’s the value of a thesaurus for me—it reminds me of words I do know but can’t quite put my finger on at the moment.

The thesaurus also gives me a more expressive word when I need it. If I type something like He walked into the room I might want a more descriptive word than walked. I can usually think up something better on the spot, but on occasion I’ll pop open the thesaurus for a quick look.

I also will use the thesaurus when editing my previous day’s output. The other day I was editing a short story about road rage, where I’d written that a character driving a car gave a hefty blast on the horn. A few paragraphs later I wrote The monster truck’s horn blasted. That’s what I call an “echo.” I don’t like using the same descriptive word in close proximity. So up came the thesaurus. I chose blared.

I know there are some who might say that’s too much “work” for so little “return.” To which I have a simple rejoinder: Bosh. (I also could have used nonsense, balderdash, gibberish, claptrap, blarney, moonshine, garbage, hogwash, baloney, jive, guff, tripe, drivel, bilge, bunk, piffle, poppycock, hooey, twaddle, gobbledygook, flapdoodle, crapola or tommyrot. But I digress.)

I’ll take this ROI every time, not only because it pleases me to do good work, but because I also believe most readers, even subconsciously, appreciate the effort. (Now is the time to repeat Twain’s oft-quoted aphorism (maxim, adage, precept, dictum): “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. ’Tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”)

By the way, you might want to hang on to your printed thesauri (yes, that’s a word), for who knows what AI will do to the digital versions? This is not an idle thought. A few weeks ago I was working on a post for my Substack, about the late George Foreman. I ran it through ProWritingAid and it flagged “Foreman” fifteen times, suggesting (in no uncertain terms) that I change it to “work supervisor.”

A final note: I went to the bookstore and finally found the thesaurus I wanted. But when I got home and opened it, all the pages were blank. I have no words to express how angry I am.

Your turn (chance, moment). Do you ever use a thesaurus? 

(Note: I’m teaching at the Vision Christian Writers Conference at Mount Hermon today, so will check in when I can!)