Yo! Muse!

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muse (1)

O Muses, O high genius, aid me now!
O memory that engraved the things I saw,
Here shall your worth be manifest to all!
— Dante, The Divine Comedy

By PJ Parrish

If you are like me, you take your inspiration wherever — and whenever — you can get it. Writing is not easy. (Warning: tortured metaphor ahead).

Writing is like sailing a Hobie Cat in the ocean in the middle of a squall. I know because I used to sail Hobies during my first marriage, which is probably why it didn’t last. The marriage, not the Hobie. The day is always sunny when you launch your Hobie from the beach and you’re all aglow with hardy-har-har-endorphins. So it is when you sit down and type CHAPTER ONE.

Then the storm hits and there you are, hanging onto a 16-foot piece of fiberglas and vinyl, hoping lightening doesn’t hit the mast and fry your ass. You are out there alone in the storm, out of sight of land, riding the waves and the troughs, hoping you can make it home. You might even throw up. This is usually around CHAPTER TWENTY for me.

End of metaphor.

I often wonder what keeps writers writing. Tyranny of the contract deadline? Blind faith? The idea that if you don’t you might have to do real physical labor for a living, like paint houses? All of those work for me. But sometimes, the only thing that keeps me going is a visit from my muse.

Now, let’s get one thing clear here. I don’t believe in WAITING for a muse to show up. I get really impatient with writers who claim they can’t write until they feel inspired because frankly, 90 percent of this gig is writing DESPITE the fact your brain is as dry as Waffle House toast. (or as soggy, depending on which Waffle House you frequent. The last one I was in was off the Valdosta Ga. I-95 exit in 1976 and the toast was so dry it stands today as my singular metaphor for stagnant creativity).

But I do believe that sometimes — usually when your brain is preoccupied with other stuff — something creeps into the cortex and quietly hands you a gift. And these little gifts are what get you through.

There are nine muses in mythology, who were supposed to be the origin of all artistic inspiration. They were Calliope, Clio, Erato, Euterpe, Melpomene, Polymnia, Terpsichore, Urania and Thalia. (I always thought it was cool that Dobie Gillis’s unobtainable ideal woman was named Thalia — the muse of comedy). The muses ruled over such things as dance, music, history, even astronomy. No muses for crime writers, unless you count Calliope for epic poetry but I think James Lee Burke has her on permanent retainer.

I don’t have just one muse. I’ve figured out I have a couple who specialize in particular parts of my writing. And they never come around when I am at the computer. Never get a whiff of them when I am actually in writing mode itself. They are like cats. They only come around on their own terms.

SweetSmell_081Pyxurz

First, there’s my dialogue muse. I call him J.J. because he sounds like Burt Lancaster’s gossip columnist J.J. Hunsecker in “The Sweet Smell of Success.” Always chewing at my ear saying oily things like, “I’d hate to take a bite out of you, you’re a cookie full of arsenic.” J.J. comes to visit me only when I am jogging. Never on the threadmill, mind you, only outdoors. J.J. makes my skin crawl, but man, can this guy write dialogue.

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Then there’s my narrative muse. I call him Cat Man because he slips in on silent paws, sings in a fey whisper and only visits me just as morning has broken. He looks like Cat Stevens, but the old hot young version not the later one. Cat Man comes around about dawn, just as I am waking up as if from death itself. See, my husband’s insomnia means we sleep with blackout drapes, a white-noise machine and the A/C turned so cold the bedroom is like a crypt. So when I wake up, it is with a gauzy gray aureole rimming the drapes, icy air swirling around my nose and a soft swoooshing in my ears. And there is Cat Man, spinning a long segment of sensual exposition that salvages my stagnant plot. I have learned to lay there, very still, until he is done with his song, because if I get up and try to write it down, he vanishes. Praise for the singing, praise for the morning, praise of the springing, fresh from the word.

alice flo 2

And then there is my third muse. She’s my favorite. Her name is Flo because her voice sounds like that waitress who worked in Mel’s Diner on the old “Alice” sitcom. You know, like the door of a rusted Gremlin. Flo is my muse of getting real. Her Greek name is Nike (the goddess of victory) and her slogan is “Just Do It.” Because whenever those other two guys fail me, whenever they don’t show up, Flo is there. She is the muse who knows that the only way I am going to get the book finished is through plain old hard work. Like Nike, Flo has wings. They symbolize the fleeting nature of victory. Or, as Flo often tell me, “Honey, if you don’t get off your ass and just write the damn thing, you’re going to lose your contract and you’ll have to paint houses for a living.”

I’d be lost without her. Who — or what? — keeps you going?

INDIE BOOK CONTESTS 2015

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by Jodie Renner, editor & author    @JodieRennerEd

Book Contests in 2015 for Independent Authors and Publishers

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Have you considered entering your book into a contest? You’re not alone. My list here on The Kill Zone last January of 2014 book contests for independent authors and small publishers has received about 4,500 page views since then, so I know there’s a lot of interest in this topic.

Here’s the list, updated for 2015. If you know of any more good book contests for self-published authors, please let me know in the comments below, with the website, so I can add them.

Also, here’s a great list of free writing contests, mainly for short stories and poetry:

27 Free Writing Contests: Legitimate Competitions with Cash Prizes

If you’re experienced at publishing your own books, skip the next six paragraphs and jump down to the contests. If you’ve just recently decided to go the indie route and publish your next book yourself, read the next few paragraphs to ensure your book is ready for entering in book contests.

As you know, the competition is tough for independently published books, and an amateurishly produced book can sink a new author’s reputation before they’ve gotten started, so be sure to put out a professional product (and it is a product). How do you make your book rise up the ranks, sell well, and garner great reviews?

First, be sure to search out professionals to edit and proofread the manuscript, design the cover design, and format it properly. For an excellent, extensive list of professional resources for book design, editing, formatting, and more, check out Elizabeth Craig’s EBook Services Professionals Directory. Also, peruse our list here at TKZ (in the sidebar).

Limited resources for all of those necessities? You can save a lot of money on editing costs by doing a thorough revision and edit yourself first. (If your manuscript is long and rambling, see my recent post on Janice Hardy’s blog, Fiction University: “How to Slash Your Word Count by 20-40% – and tighten your story without losing any of the good stuff!” .) For expert help with the revision process, I recommend James Scott Bell’s excellent guide, Revision & Self-Editing for Publication. Also, check out my award-winning editor’s guides, Fire up Your Fiction and Captivate Your Readers.

You can also cut costs for formatting by doing the basic formatting yourself, per these instructions for formatting your manuscript.

And you can get a high-quality cover design for as low as $99 on sites like this one audcasinos where my three covers were designed – or even lower if you choose a pre-made cover.

Then, once your story is revised, polished, and presented in an attractive, professional-looking package, and you’ve published it, think about entering it in a book contest. Winning an award for your self-published fiction or nonfiction book is a great way to gain recognition and respect, so it rises above the masses. If you win an award, the publicity will boost your book sales, and you can add the award decal to your cover and mention the achievement on your back cover, in the book description, on your website or blog, and in all your marketing and promoting, for that extra edge.

Here’s a list of book awards specifically for independently published books. It’s for your quick info only, and is in no way an endorsement of any of them. Click on the title of the award to go to their website for more details. And do let me know of any good ones I’ve missed. [And if you’re looking to hone your skills and network, you might also be interested in checking out this extensive list (over 120) of Writers’ Conferences & Book Festivals in North America in 2015.]

BOOK CONTESTS FOR INDIE AUTHORS (Click on the titles to go to their sites.)

~ WRITER’S DIGEST SELF-PUBLISHED BOOK AWARDS

Sponsored by: Writer’s Digest Magazine (F&W Media) and Book Marketing Works, LLC

Requirements: Open to all English-language self-published books. Entrants must send a printed and bound book. Evaluated on content, writing quality and overall quality of production and appearance. All books published or revised and reprinted between 2010 and 2015 are eligible.

Early-Bird Deadline: April 1, 2015

What’s in it for you?                 

  • A chance to win $8,000 in cash
  • National exposure for your work
  • The attention of prospective editors and publishers
  • A paid trip to the ever-popular Writer’s Digest Conference!

Fees: Early-bird entry fees (by April 1): $99 for the first entry, and $75 for each additional entry.

Categories: 9, including 1 for poetry and 2 for nonfiction.

Winners notified: by Oct. 12, 2015

Notes: Very popular so very competitive. Your book needs to be professionally produced and sparkle in every way, including a stellar cover an enticing and error-free back cover, clean formatting, and a story that’s been professionally edited and proofread. I have served as judge on this contest three times, so can provide more general info if anyone is interested.

Judges provide feedback/commentary on all books submitted? Yes – minimum 200 words, plus a 1-5 rating on 5 points.

~ WRITER’S DIGEST SELF-PUBLISHED E-BOOK AWARDS

Hasn’t opened yet for 2015. Info from 2014:

This competition spotlights today’s self-published works and honors self-published authors. Whether you’re a professional writer, a part-time freelancer or a self-starting student, here’s your chance to enter WD’s newest competition, exclusively for self-published e-books.

8 different categories

One Grand Prize Winner receives $3,000 cash and lots more.The First-Place Winner in each category receives: $1000 in prize money and more. Honorable Mention Winners will receive $50 worth of Writer’s Digest Books and be promoted on www.writersdigest.com.

Entry fee: Early-bird – $99 for the first entry, $75 for each additional

Deadline: The 2014 deadline was Aug. 1, 2014, so look for this contest in the summer.

A definite plus is that, like the above WD contest, they do send you the judge’s rating and commentary, whether you win or not, which is very helpful.

~ FOREWORD REVIEWS BOOK OF THE YEAR AWARDS

Sponsored by: Foreword Reviews

Open to: all books from independent publishers, including small presses, university presses, and self-published authors, published in 2013.

Deadline: January 15, 2015 (oops! This one has passed. Bookmark this contest for next year, and get your entry in by Dec. or early Jan.)

Winners announced: at American Library Assoc. conference 2015, San Francisco

Entry fee: $99. Send two books per category.

Categories: 62 categories

Judges provide feedback/commentary on all books submitted? No.

Benefits/Prizes: Valuable publicity and $1500 cash prize for the Editor’s Choice in Fiction and Nonfiction.

Details/Advantages: Lots of categories, and “The judging is unique in that after the initial entries have been narrowed down to a group of finalists in each category by the magazine’s team of editors, the finalists are shipped to a hand-selected group of booksellers and librarians who determine the winners. This panel of industry experts use the same criteria for judging as they would use in their own acquisitions process.”

~ INDIEREADER DISCOVERY AWARDS

Sponsored by: Kirkus Indie

Requirements: Open to all self-published books with a valid ISBN. No restrictions on publication dates. Both eBooks and paper books can be submitted.

Deadline: March 2, 2015

Categories: Two main categories (fiction and non-fiction) and 49 sub-categories.

Entry fee: $150 per title, $50 fee for each additional category entered.  Submit two copies the first category entered and one each additional category.  One paper book and one ebook is preferred, if possible.

Winners announced: at the 2015 Book Expo America (BEA) in New York City.

Judges provide feedback/commentary on all books submitted? No free review anymore. If you want a review, you have to pay for it.

Prizes: Award ceremony at Book Expo America, sticker, professional IndieReader review, exposure. First place gets a review from Kirkus Reviews.

*Note that compared to the others, the above contest has a high entry fee, no cash prizes and no feedback unless you pay for it.

~ NEXT GENERATION INDIE BOOK AWARDS     

Sponsored by Independent Book Publishing Professionals Group

Requirements: Open to independent authors and publishers worldwide. Enter books released in 2013 or 2014 or with a 2013 or 2014 copyright date

Categories: 70+ categories to choose from

Deadline: February 13, 2015

Fees: $75 per title for the first category entered, $50 for each additional category. Submission Details: Two copies of the book must be sent for the first category entered plus one copy for each additional category.

Prizes, Benefits, awards: Cash prizes ($1,500 to $100), trophies, awards, listing in catalogue, exposure of top 70 books to NYC literary agent, awards reception, NYC

Details: The largest not-for-profit awards program for independent publishers

Winners notified by: May 15

Judges provide feedback/commentary on all books submitted? No.

~ NATIONAL INDIE EXCELLENCE BOOK AWARDS

Requirements/Eligibility: Open to books with an ISBN, published 2012-2015. Send one copy of the book per category entered.

Deadline: March 31, 2015

Fees: $69 per category

Categories: Lots of Categories!

Winners & Finalists: Will be publicized during Book Expo America; be listed on the official website of the IndieExcellence.com site; etc.

Winners announced: May 15, 2015

~ IPPY AWARDS – INDEPENDENT PUBLISHER BOOK AWARDS  

Sponsored by: Jenkins Group Publishing Services, affiliated with Publisher’s Weekly.

Eligibility: independently published titles released between July 1, 2012 and March 15, 2014. Open to authors and publishers worldwide who produce books written in English and intended for the North American market.

Deadline: March 10, 2015

Fees: $85-$95 per category; $55 to also enter the E-Book Awards or Regional Book Awards

Categories: 76 subject categories in National awards; Regional awards for the United States, Canada, and Australia and New Zealand; E-Book Awards with fiction, non-fiction, children’s and regional categories.

Benefits: Winners receive celebration party in NY City, medals, stickers, certificates, national publicity in major trade publications including Publisher’s Weekly and Shelf Awareness. Learn more

~ THE BEN FRANKLIN AWARDS

Sponsored by: IBPA – Independent Book Publishers Association

Info: The IBPA Benjamin Franklin Award for excellence in book publishing is regarded as one of the highest national honors for small and independent publishers.

Deadlines: First Call – Sept. 30, 2015; Second call – Dec. 15, 2015

Categories: 41 book categories + design = 55 categories

Entry fees: IBPA member – $95 per title, per category; Non-IBPA member – $225 for first title, which includes one year’s membership in IBPA; $95 for subsequent entries.

Benefits: Winners recognized at a gala event. Gold winners receive an engraved crystal trophy. Gold and Silver winners receive award certificates along with gold or silver stickers. All winners announced to the major trade journals and media.

Judges provide feedback/commentary on all books submitted? Yes. The Benjamin Franklin Awards are unique in that the entrants receive direct feedback on their titles. The actual judging forms are returned to all participating publishers.

~ READERS’ FAVORITE BOOK AWARDS

Requirements: Accept manuscripts, published and unpublished books, ebooks, audio books, comic books, poetry books and short stories in 100+ genres. No publication date requirement or word count restriction. Entries are accepted worldwide as long as the work is in English.

Fee: $89 per book

Deadline: April1, 2015

Awards: Four award levels plus a finalist level in each of our 100+ categories. Special Illustration Award competition for illustrated books. Roll of high quality, embossed award stickers ($50 value). Digital award seal for your book cover and print/web marketing. Personalized award certificate. Olympics-style physical award medal with ribbon. Awards ceremony with guest speakers and media coverage. Book displayed in our booth at the largest book fair in America. Book review posted on 7 popular book and social networking sites.

Feedback? Mini-critique of 5 key areas of your book.

FAPA PRESIDENT’S BOOK AWARDS

Sponsored by: Florida Authors and Publishers Association

Requirements: English language titles published in 2014 or 2015. Any author or publisher who resides in North America may enter. Bound books only, except for one category: e-books. Send four copies of your book for each category entered (e.g. one book entered in three categories = 12 copies of the book).

Fee: Until March 1: $75 (non-members), $65 (members); $50 for each additional category;  After March 1: $85 (non-members), $75 (members); $50 each additional category

Deadline: May 1, 2015

Categories: 30

Awards: FAPA will award one Gold Medal and up to two Silver Medals in each category. Winners receive: a gold or silver medal, a certificate, decals for book covers, and publicity.

Written review by judges: No

~ 2015 KINDLE BOOK AWARDS

Deadline: May 1, 2015

Details: Open to all independent and small press authors. For eBooks published on Amazon between May 1, 2013 – May 1, 2015 (Must have Amazon Link).

Fee: $29 (Use Code  SJC85  before April 1st for 10% Early Bird Discount)

Categories: Mystery/Thriller, Romance, Y/A, Sci-fi/Fantasy, Literary Fiction, Horror/Suspense, Non-Fiction

Awards: 7 category winners will receive $350 cash, and $900+ in promotion & tools

~ THE ERIC HOFFER AWARD

Deadlines: Books: January 21, 2015. Short prose: March 31, 2015.

Fees: Books: $55

Categories: 18 categories

Prizes: Two grand prizes, one for short prose (i.e. fiction and creative nonfiction) and one for independent books. Prizes include a $250 award for short prose and a $2,000 award for best independent book. In addition, various other honors and distinctions are given for both prose and books.

Judges provide feedback/commentary on all books submitted? No. “Our judging process is a three tier system. Two successive category judges score the book on a seven point criteria system and provide feedback before it is passed to the higher level judges, but we do not provide feedback to the authors / publishers / nominators. We did in the early years, but it resulted in too many authors feeling the need to defend their books.”

~ SHELF UNBOUND WRITING COMPETITION FOR BEST SELF-PUBLISHED BOOK

Sponsored by: Shelf Media Group, Half Price Books

Eligibility: Any independently published book in any genre is eligible for entry.

Deadline: Oct. 1, 2015.

Entry fee: $40 per book.

Submission: Email a PDF or Word Doc of the book or mail in a physical copy.

Details and benefits: Top five books receive editorial coverage in the December/January 2016 issue of Shelf Unbound. The author of the book named as the Best Independently Published book will receive editorial coverage as well as a year’s worth of full-page ads in Shelf Unbound (rate card value $6,000). More than 100 books deemed by the editors as “notable” entries in the competition will also be featured in the December/January 2016 issue of Shelf Unbound.

Judges provide feedback/commentary on all books submitted? No.

OTHER BOOK AWARDS: (Click on the names.) Beverly Hills Book Awards, Bookworks Awards,  eLit Book Awards,  EPIC eBook Competition,  Global eBook Awards,  Green Book Festival,  Nautilus Book Awards,  Publishing Innovation Awards, Reader Views Literary Awards

BOOK FESTIVAL CONTESTS:  New England Book Festival,  New York Book Festival,  San Francisco Book Festival,  The Beach Book Festival,  The Hollywood Book Festival,  London Book Festival,  Paris Book Festival,  The Living Now Book Awards

INTERNATIONAL:  International Book Awards,  The International Rubery Book Award,  The WISHING SHELF Independent Book Awards [UK]

CHILDREN’S BOOKS:  The Moonbeam Children’s Book Awards     

Can you think of any more to add? Have you had any experiences with any of these book contests that you’d like to share? Let us know in the comments below. Thanks!

IMG_5765_trimmedJodie Renner is a freelance editor and the award-winning author of three craft-of-writing guides in her series An Editor’s Guide to Writing Compelling Fiction: Fire up Your Fiction, Writing a Killer Thriller, and Captivate Your Readers. Fire up Your Fiction was awarded a silver medal from FAPA President’s Book Awards, a silver medal from Readers’ Favorite Awards, and an Honorable Mention from Writer’s Digest awards. Find Jodie at www.JodieRenner.com, www.JodieRennerEditing.com, and on Facebook and Twitter.

The Fog of War

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I’m still struggling to finish my novel, but my son wanted to see the movie American Sniper this week and I just couldn’t say no. I was curious about the film because it’s generated a lot of controversy. Some people say the movie is pro-war, some say it’s anti-war. I wanted to see for myself.
The movie is directed by Clint Eastwood, and I should state right off the bat that I have a lot of admiration for the guy. His Unforgiven is one of my favorite films, full of classic quotes. (“It’s a hell of a thing, killing a man. Take away all he’s got and all he’s ever gonna have.”) In fact, the King of Jordan apparently used a quote from Unforgiven a few days ago when he promised vengeance against the Islamic State for burning one of his Air Force pilots to death. Eastwood’s Million Dollar Babyis also amazing. And then of course there’s Dirty Harry, Rawhide and all those spaghetti westerns. Eastwood has built up a lot of good will with me, over half a century, so my opinion might be a little prejudiced in his favor.
That said, I can’t understand how anyone can think American Sniper is a pro-war movie. On the contrary, it does an excellent job of showing the horrors of war, specifically the urban combat in Iraq in 2004 and the following years. And it doesn’t shrink from portraying the terrible injuries, both physical and mental, that many veterans of the Iraq war are still battling. The hero — Chris Kyle, based on the real Iraq-war sniper who was murdered a couple of years ago by a fellow veteran — expresses a lot of patriotic sentiments and hews to the oft-repeated justifications for invading Iraq. (“You want these f***ers to come to San Diego or New York?”) But Eastwood makes it clear that this hero isn’t always thinking straight. After the funeral of a buddy who had started to question why they were in Iraq, Kyle angrily argues that the man’s loss of confidence caused his death. But we know this isn’t true, because just a few minutes earlier in the movie we saw this guy die, and it had nothing to do with his confidence or lack of it. He just stepped into the path of a bullet. It was the typical random carnage of war.
So here we have a good example of a classic thriller technique that’s very difficult to pull off: the unreliable narrator. The hero says something that you could certainly take at face value, but it’s also possible that he’s confused and traumatized. And maybe that’s why the movie is so controversial. It says different things to different people, depending on their preconceptions and politics. And I think that’s a good thing. The film is complex, or at least it tries to be.
In other respects, though, American Sniper is too Hollywood. Because the movie revolves around Kyle, he has to do everything — he’s a sniper, he’s a commander, he’s an interrogator. He’s an expert on hunting down Al Qaeda. At times it seems like he’s running the whole war. And at times Eastwood veers dangerously into spaghetti-western territory. The showdown between Kyle and the movie’s primary villain, an enemy sniper, plays like a High Noon shootout, except in this case the dueling snipers are more than a mile away from each other. (This face-off, by the way, never happened in real life. It’s strictly a Hollywood creation.) And the movie’s climax is like a Middle Eastern version of the Alamo, with a special-effects sandstorm thrown in for good measure.
Last but not least, I have to put in a good word for Bradley Cooper, the actor who plays Kyle. If I were to issue ratings like Entertainment Weekly, American Sniper would get a B+, but Cooper’s performance would get an A. That scene where he hyperventilates after nearly shooting the small Iraqi boy struggling to lift an RPG launcher? It was phenomenal.

Okay, back to the novel. This time I’m really going to finish it.

First Page Critique: Where to Start the Story – Secrets of the Home Wood

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Jordan Dane
@JordanDane

twilight forest moon


Below if the first 400 words of an anonymous submission from a follower here at The Kill Zone. My feedback is on the flip side, but please share your constructive criticism. Let’s discuss this submission.


Secrets of the Home Wood: The Escape
Why didn’t he just stay by the creek? It was quiet and peaceful there. The trees that hung their heads together over the creek, were enormous in girth and mossed with age. He used to like sitting with his back against a willow on the creekside, but lately that just led to staring through the swaying branches to the path on the other side of the creek. And then his thoughts would turn bitter as they circled for the hundredth time. How could they go back without me? Dang summer cold. He was better now. Maybe he could just go through and surprise them. Yeah, that would go over well.


Why didn’t he just stay by the creek? He had flung a stone into the creek and as he watched it ricochet off the rocks and sink beneath the water, he was reminded of the battle. He had looked forward to going back with his parents to help set up the King’s library and the school. He earned the right. Tugg told him he had become a warrior…well, a furless warrior were the exact words, but that didn’t change what he’d done. He felt different over there. He felt he could do things and be what he couldn’t at home. He had saved his friend Pugg’s life and then held his head while he died. He had fought in a battle to save a kingdom and on this side of the portal he had to go back to being ordinary Jon. A kid with responsibilities on the family farm and a best friend he could no longer share everything with. And now look where that had gotten him!


“Jon! What is the matter with you?”


Marly stood with one hand on his arm and the other fisted on her hip. They each stood astride their bikes on the gravelled shoulder of the Concession Two road. Her green eyes sparked with hurt. A cool, late summer breeze trickled between the mature trees that lined the road and lifted the red curls on her forehead. Something boiled in his gut when her next words were borrowed straight from his mother. “Have you lost your marbles?”


Jonathon jerked his arm out of his best friend’s grasp.


“What’s it to you?” He said rudely. He regretted his unfair words immediately when her bow-shaped mouth dropped into an “O”. Too late to take it back. He rode it out. “Look. I’ve got to go. Gramp’s waiting for me.”


Before he could say something else he’d be sorry for, Jonathon leaped onto the seat of his bike and pedalled furiously away. He gave himself a mental boot. How could he talk to his best friend like that? What was the matter with him? He should turn right around and apologize. No. He couldn’t. If he did that, he might break down and tell her the secret. He had thought that coming to see her would distract him from the misery of his thoughts but he didn’t take into account how well she knew him. She knew something was up with him. Marly had been bugging him more and more lately saying he had changed in the last couple of months, was different, holding something back. He couldn’t go back to her just yet.  He’d call her later after he had gathered his thoughts as his Mom would say.


The thought of his mother made him pedal even faster. They were all supposed to go back together. How could they go back without him? She and Dad had been gone two weeks. The burn of resentment flicked around his heart, again. He was supposed to go, too, dang it. And to make it worse, he couldn’t even let off steam to Marly about it. “Let off steam.” Worst. Now he was channelling his grandfather. 


Feedback:
The start of any story can be challenging for any author. We focus on the first 400 words in our TKZ review process, because industry professionals, who are inundated with countless submissions, can usually determine whether they will want to read more or reject the work that quickly.


In an excellent TKZ post, The Great Backstory Debate, by our own James Scott Bell, Jim talks about starting with a character in motion or a disturbance happening in the character’s world that jumpstarts the story at a key spot that should intrigue a reader. New writers may begin a story that way, but they often add back story dumps or too much introspection that “tells” the reader what is happening, to catch them up with events that have already happened. That’s what is taking place in this story.


The first two paragraphs are back story, until a voice calls out to Jon (a disturbance), saying, “Jon! What is the matter with you?” The author might have a better beginning at that point, but there is also “the secret” mentioned in the second to last paragraph. Depending on what the author has in mind, I could see Jon and Marly having a tense talk to lessen his internal monologue, where Jon is obviously holding back before he pedals away, with more of a hint as to the secret. 

NO EXPLANATION OR BACKSTORY. The author should have patience to reveal whatever the secret is in due time. The main thing is to STICK WITH THE ACTION and get the reader caught up in the MYSTERY ELEMENTS of what Jon is keeping from Marly and why his family might have left him behind because of it.


DIALOGUE can lessen the introspection and minimize the author’s tendency to add what Jon knows from his past. Force Jon to stay in the moment with Marley and only allow the reader to glimpse his reticence to talk, so the reader might wonder why. Or have him wanting to race off to stop his family from leaving him behind, if that is part of the story. SHOW DON’T TELL what is truly happening and wait to reveal the mystery later.


ADVERBS –  During my edit process, I look for adverbs, generally words that end in LY. If a sentence is worded correctly, to convey the author’s intent, an adverb is redundant and unnecessary. Here’s an example from the submission: “What’s it to you?” He said rudely. He regretted his unfair words immediately… In this example, the word ‘rudely’ is redundant because the snappy remark from Jon is indeed rude, plus he regrets saying it immediately. Overuse of adverbs can be seen as weak writing in the eyes of industry professionals.



HOUSEKEEPING – There are typos in this short intro. I’ve highlighted the misspellings in yellow. My Word software caught the errors and underlined them in red. Authors should use the benefits of this type of software application. Submissions to industry professional should be error free. Don’t give them an easy reason to say no. I also wasn’t sure if the names TUGG and PUGG were the same character, yet with a misspelling. Reading the work aloud could help catch errors like this.


That’s my overview of the submission from this brave author. Please share your thoughts to help with ideas on how to improve this introduction.

Subplots

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By Joe Moore
@JoeMoore_writer

One of the most dreaded parts of a book to write is the middle, or what I call the “muddle”. Beginnings are fun and somewhat easy, and endings can be, too. But the tar pit in the middle can bog a writer (and reader) down, sometimes to the point of no recovery. One method of beefing up the submarine-clipart-Submarine-Clip-Art-24.jpgmiddle is the use of subplots.

But just knowing about subplots and their importance is not enough. Many writers are not completely sure what a subplot is, much less how to weave one into the story so that the subplot strengthens the main plot and its characters. Here are some tips to help understand how subplots play a role in your story.

What Is A Subplot?

A subplot is a secondary story that runs parallel to the main plot. One of the easiest methods to understanding subplots is to look at the different layers of your own life. From the moment you awaken in the morning until you fall asleep at night, the plot of your life story is to do what needs to be done to maintain your existence—go to work, do your job, take on and complete tasks, go home and spend time with your family, end your day with plans to repeat and improve your plot tomorrow.

Possible subplots

1. Your car is old and prone to breaking down. On the way to work, it dies for good. You don’t have the money to fix it.

2. Your son calls from college with bad news—he’s failing and needs to move back home.

3. The neighbor’s dog barks constantly but the owner won’t do anything about it.

These are simple subplots, but they can help to provide additional conflict to your story and generate suspense when needed, especially in the muddle. Dealing with them can also help to develop your main character so his actions are more believable concerning the main plot.

When choosing a subplot, make sure it has something to do with the main plot. It might be interesting to have your main character decide to go sky diving, but unless doing so provides an opportunity to have him face his fear of heights or build up his courage for what’s to come later in the main story, it would be a waste of time.

When should you start a subplot?

If the subplot is about your protagonist, you should introduce it as soon as possible. If you intend to have multiple subplots, their starts can be staggered later in the story. Let’s take subplot #3 in the suggestions from above—the barking dog. Your protagonist could be awakened by the dog at the beginning of the story. It could be a cause for constant irritation whenever he’s home and could come up a number of times throughout the plot as the protagonist tries to deal with the neighbor. The barking dog subplot has nothing to do with the main plot other than to show the protagonist’s ability to cope with the problem and his skill at dealing with hostile people. These characteristics will come in play later when dealing with the big events of the plot.

Moving between plot and subplots

An obvious back and forth between plot and subplot can come off as contrived. It’s better to weave the subplot into the main plot so that they seem one and the same. For instance, the protagonist is awakened by the barking dog on the day of the big corporate presentation—the main thrust of the plot. If they don’t get the account, he could be let go. The barking puts him in a foul mood. He phones home after the meeting to let his wife know how it went only to hear the dog barking in the background of the call. He gets home, thankful that the dog is not barking. But at 3:00 AM his peaceful sleep is once again interrupted by the barking. Solving the issue of the dog and its owner is not the main plot of the book, but it is a character-building opportunity and a cause for conflict.

So when things get bogged down in the muddle, rely on the subplot(s) you’ve already introduced and built upon to fill the gaps and move the story forward.

How about you? Do you use subplots? Any additional tips to define and utilize them?

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tomb-coverMax is back! Coming this Spring, Maxine Decker returns in THE TOMB from Sholes & Moore. #1 New York Times bestseller Brad Thor calls Sholes & Moore one of his favorite writing teams.

Creating A Personal Ode From 40 Characters

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Attention all budding poets: A new site lets you to turn you  tweets into poetry, or something like it.  Poetweet skims through your history of tweets, and then converts the results into verse.  (You choose whether you want your poem to appear as a Sonnet or other format.)

When I ran my Twitter ID through the engine, Poetweet created a ditty called “A Writer”. The resulting verse seems odd, but somehow perfect. (Disclosure: I rearranged a couple of lines to enhance the logical ‘flow’).

“A Writer”
by Kathryn Lilley

Putting On Your Writing Face
Getting It Done
Just One More Chapter
The Gag Order Rules
Where Have All the Commas Gone?
Are We Daft?
Where Do We Go To Get the Vaccine?
Sit Down And Write the Darn Outline
Lessons from 2014
Playing A Trick On Your Mind
‘Make it new’
Performing Amazing Grace

If you haven’t tried the tool yet, give it a try. Then, please share a stanza from your “ode”. The wackier, the better!

How would you like to be remembered?

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By Clare Langley-Hawthorne




Last week’s death of Colleeen McCullough (bestselling Australian writer of The Thorn Birds amongst others) – was not only extremely sad but also, surprisingly, the catalyst for controversy over alleged gender bias in the literary world. It wasn’t her death per se that prompted this controversy, but rather the obituary written in one of Australia’s most prominent newspapers ‘The Australian‘.  How’s this for a first paragraph…

“COLLEEN McCullough, Australia’s best selling author, was a charmer. Plain of feature, and certainly overweight, she was, nevertheless, a woman of wit and warmth. In one interview, she said: “I’ve never been into clothes or figure and the interesting thing is I never had any trouble attracting men.”

So much for mentioning that she was a bestselling author of 25 novels or that she had also been a neuroscientist at Yale Medical School…

The fact that a newspaper such as The Australian would even print such an obituary made many Australians (including myself) cringe at the specter of a female writer being judged, not by the quality of her work or her books sales, but by her appearance and her weight. 

At least the publication of this obituary has generated some valuable debate over perceptions of women in creative and ‘entertainment’ spheres. The controversy that erupted has provoked some great mock obituaries as well. On Twitter there is even the hashtag #myozobituary (Take a look at some of these – I think the the author Neil Gaimon’s mock obituary is particular good).

Apart from the obvious idiocy The Australian’s obituary demonstrates, it nonetheless raise concerns about how gender factors into society’s assessment of writers – and I wonder how much we, as readers and writers still tend to make judgements based on ‘appearance’ as well as talent.

So TKZers have you ever encountered moments where your gender, appearance, weight or other physical factors were judged rather than your writing?

Do you think appearance matters in this very visible age of book marketing? Do you think it affects women and men differently?

If you write darker thrillers and mysteries have you considered using a pseudonym or initials so that your gender isn’t a factor in how a book is perceived?

And finally, if you feel brave, feel free to share what your mock ‘oz obituary’ would be…

Story and Structure in Love

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James Scott Bell
@jamesscottbell

Back in November, TKZ commenter Dale Ivan Smith talked about a major challenge he faced.
Here’s the key paragraph:
 
The big challenge … is not taking forever on the pre-writing and outlining. How do you impose deadlines on yourself for outlining and still create a solid, damn good novel outline? My fear of drafting a bad story has to a big extent been replaced with the fear of outlining a bad one 😉
 
I answered him, in part, this way:
 
Dale, you’ve asked a great question. I think it really comes down to fear. 
 
There’s an easier and better way to find story, IMO: it’s to play BEFORE you write. Play on the monkey bars built of structural signposts. You actually can be more creative this way because you’re not drafting. Thus, it’s much faster, too. 
 
You can also play in the actual writing. But you’ll be playing a game that readers can make sense of. 
 
It’s the best of both worlds. Freedom AND focus, and a lot less frustration. The people who’ve been writing to me about Write Your Novel From the Middle have been having epiphanies on this. Which is cool. I’ll have more to say on writing this way in the months ahead. 
 
This “best of both worlds” combines the playfulness and creativity of the pantser with the beautiful form of the plotter, all with that most important person in mind—the reader! 
 
If you want to sell books and not just feel good about your writing, you need more than pure freedom and more than mere outlining. 
 
You need a guide, a map, a blueprint, but one that is flexible and freeing, not cold and ruthless. 
 
Which is why I’ve written a new book called Super Structure: The Key to Unleashing the Power of Story.
Story LOVES structure, because structure translates story into a form that enables reader connection…and those are the stories that sell.
 
And don’t let’s confuse structure with outlining, which causes pantsers to break out in the cold sweats. This is a common error. Any writer of any temperament can utilize structure principles, even if your approach is the seat-of-the-pants variety. To be aware of structure is not the same thing as writing a 40 page, single-spaced outline. Which is a perfectly legit thing to do. Just ask James Patterson. Or many fine writers of the past. 
 
But outlining is not a requirement. Which is one reason I wrote this book. It’s for any type of writer because it stresses the idea of “signpost scenes.” There are fourteen signposts scenes, or beats, in Super Structure. It’s culled from the best and most popular novels and screenplays of the past, as well as my own research and development of writing principles over the last 25 years. 
 
The material in this book greatly expands upon the chapter on structure in Write Your Novel From the Middle. Super Structure can be considered a companion to that book, but it also stands alone in its treatment of the elements of a solid and pleasing plot. 
 
Recently, the longtime literary editor for Playboy, Alice K. Turner, went to her final review at age 75. Her obituary in the New York Times talked about how she championed literary fiction for 20 years there, bringing a measure of respectability, ahem, between the folds. And she truly did, publishing some of the best writers of our time and discovering new talent.
 
I love what she said about her preference for a solid, well-structured plot: “If you’re good enough, like Picasso, you can put noses and breasts wherever you like. But first you have to know where they belong.” 
 
Super Structure will tell you where story elements belong. Then you are free to do what you like, experiment all you want.
 
But when your story isn’t working, and you don’t know why, Super Structure will be there to help you find out! It is very friendly that way. Say hello to it today.