Author Archives: Debbie Burke

About Debbie Burke

Debbie writes the Tawny Lindholm series, Montana thrillers infused with psychological suspense. Her books have won the Kindle Scout contest, the Zebulon Award, and were finalists for the Eric Hoffer Book Award and BestThrillers.com. Her articles received journalism awards in international publications. She is a founding member of Authors of the Flathead and helps to plan the annual Flathead River Writers Conference in Kalispell, Montana. Her greatest joy is mentoring young writers. http://www.debbieburkewriter.com

True Crime Thursday – Unsolved Murders Linked to Freeway Killer, Now 80

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Photo credit – John Snape Wikimedia.com CCA SA 3.0

by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

From 1972 to 1983 in southern California, bodies of young male hitchhikers were being dumped near freeways, on beaches, and in parking lots. Many had lethal levels of alcohol and drugs in their systems, and had been tortured, mutilated, sexually assaulted, and strangled.

The so-called “Freeway Killer” eluded law enforcement because of the difficulty of linking the murders with no witnesses and little evidence.

In 1977, Patrick Kearney turned himself into the Riverside County Sheriff’s Office and confessed to more than 30 murders. He was given 21 life sentences. The public breathed a sigh of relief that the Freeway Killer had been stopped.

But murders continued.

In 1980, William Bonin was arrested when police found him inside his van, raping a handcuffed 17-year-old runaway boy. A scrapbook detailing numerous murders was found in his glovebox. Blood and other evidence led to a confession to more than 20 murders, some with the help of accomplices.

Despite multiple prior convictions for sexual assaults on minor boys, Bonin had repeatedly been released from custody. At those times he was deemed no longer a risk to society.

At trial, he was convicted of 10 murders and sentenced to death. Another trial in a different jurisdiction resulted in conviction and death sentences for four additional murders. Again, the public was relieved that the Freeway Killer had been caught.

But murders continued.

In 1983, California Highway Patrol officers pulled over a car for driving erratically. Randy Steven Kraft stumbled out with a bottle of beer and his pants unzipped.

Inside the car officers found the body of a Marine with his pants pulled down. He’d been strangled and sexually assaulted. In the trunk they found a binder with more than 60 coded entries that corresponded to murders Kraft had apparently committed. Evidence also included Polaroids of strangled, bound young men who appeared unconscious or dead.

This Freeway Killer was additionally dubbed the Scorecard Killer because of the binder full of notations about his victims.

Although Kraft never confessed, the evidence against him was overwhelming. He appeared to enjoy the attention at trial and his case dragged on for many months, costing $10 million, the costliest criminal case in Orange County at the time. He was convicted of 16 murders and sentenced to death. Additional murders in Oregon and Michigan were linked to him since he had traveled for work to those states when more bodies, violated in similar ways, had been found.

Kraft is now 80 and back in the news because DNA finally identified the remains of a body found near I-5 in Oregon back in 1980.

Larry Eugene Parks was a 30-year-old Vietnam veteran at the time of his death. His family had lost touch with him. Another dead man, Marine Corporal Michael O’Fallon, had been found in a nearby location a day before. Investigators believed the two murders were connected but couldn’t prove it and the cases went cold.

According to a USA Today story from  May 12, 2025:

Last year, an Orange County Sheriff’s Department investigator contacted the Oregon State Police’s cold case unit, offering to help identify Parks’ remains with the use of forensic genealogy. Possible family members were contacted and submitted DNA samples for comparison, leading to Parks’ definitive identification.

Similarly, in October 2023, Orange County investigators used the technology to identity Michael Ray Schlicht of Cedar Rapids, Iowa, whose body was found in 1974 in unincorporated Laguna Hills, now the city of Aliso Viejo, California. Detectives are likewise working to determine whether Kraft is linked to Schlicht’s death.

This L.A. Times article from November, 2023 describes Schlicht’s identification also by forensic DNA.

Per this May 9, 2025 AP story, Oregon State Police spokesperson Kyle Kennedy says about Parks:

“There’s some evidence that we’re processing to determine that link [to Randy Kraft],” Kennedy said. “We are very confident that we have the correct person of interest.”

In the 1970s and 80s, three different serial murderers, each called the Freeway Killer, terrorized California.

Patrick Kearney, 85, remains incarcerated at Mule Creek State Prison in Ione, CA.

William Bonin was executed by lethal injection in 1996.

Randy Kraft, 80, received a death sentence that was not carried out. The last execution in California happened in 2006. Kraft remains in prison at San Quentin Rehabilitation Center.

~~~

Thank you to TKZ regular Kathy Ferguson who brought the story to my attention.

~~~

Serial killers are covered in Debbie Burke’s new book The Villain’s Journey – How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate. 

Publication date July 13, 2025.

Preorder link

Are You Ready for AI Agatha?

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Following up on Jim Bell’s discussion of Agatha Christie from Sunday…

The headline in the May 16, 2025 Saturday Evening Post read:

AI AGATHA CHRISTIE WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO WRITE! 

I can’t express my initial reaction because this is a G-rated blog. Suffice it to say, I was gobsmacked, horrified, and disappointed. Taking advantage of the deceased by commercializing and monetizing their image seems disrespectful when the person is no longer around to object. But that’s just me.

The idea of bringing dead people back to life using AI is also creepy but weirdly fascinating. Some music videos of contemporary, living singers performing duets with dead legends have been done quite well.

My fave is the 1989 video of “There’s a Tear in My Beer” with Hank Williams, Jr. playing alongside Hank Sr. who died when his son was only three. That gave this performance special poignance, imagining what might have been if Senior hadn’t died at age 29.

But AI has come a long way since 1989, with deepfakes and phony impersonations. Nothing is sacred anymore. And people will go to any outrageous lengths to make a buck.

The Agatha headline conjured up a TikTok-style, faux-historical bastardization of her image, dancing as she typed on her antique manual typewriter in time to “Puttin’ on the Ritz.”

To my surprise, the video excerpt wasn’t awful and was quite interesting. Dame Agatha’s great-grandson and the Christie estate kept a firm grip on the production, ensuring a tasteful, authentic representation of her. The script used her own words from her writings about her storytelling techniques. No one put words in her–uh, its–mouth. Instead of reading her advice in books, writers can listen to the resurrected author speaking.

The video lasts about 10 minutes but only a few seconds show AI Agatha in action. The majority of the time is spent describing the process that the producers, directors, lighting techs, hairdressers, costumers, and others went through to give an accurate depiction. A human actress combined with AI resulted in an animated life-like Agatha.

Here’s the video:

The AI Agatha course is sold via the BBC Maestro program. It can be purchased by single episode or subscription. The description is at this link.

I’m interested to hear what TKZers think of this revolutionary concept. Please share your opinions in the comments.

~~~

 

Join Debbie Burke on The Villain’s Journey – How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate. Follow the steps to the darkest depths of the soul…if you dare!

Preorder now at this link to have The Villain’s Journey delivered to your device on July 13, 2025.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First Page Critique – A New Day to Tell a Lie

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Here’s a first page from another Brave Author with the intriguing title: A New Day to Tell a Lie. Please read and we’ll discuss.

 

September 11, 2001, at 7:20 AM, was a pivotal moment in history. Nineteen men boarded Flights 11, 175, 77, and 93, setting in motion a series of events that would change the world and the people in it forever.

Roman Stark strolls through the beautiful, original brass and glass doors of 890 Park Avenue, located in the elegant Upper East Side. As he steps into the bright morning of a New York City day, he feels the city’s vibrant energy wrap around him, reminding him of that hopeful saying, ‘If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere’—a comforting thought he really needs today.

As he enjoys the morning sun, his thoughts drift back to that surprising moment a month ago when Elle slapped him. Their relationship, much like others he’s experienced, is a complicated blend of surprises and discoveries. He saw a side of her he had never encountered before, and he now grasped what her father alluded to when he suggested that a certain kind of ‘crazy’ was part of her mother’s lineage.

Roman made a significant life-altering change by leaving the beautiful home he once shared with his wife in Upper Montclair, New Jersey. He moved to a spacious six-bedroom co-op owned by his uncle, located just 18 miles away in ‘the city.’ Uncle Elliot’s tall and charming nephew always radiated confidence and charm during his visits, and he had been his uncle’s sole guest for several years. Imagine them enjoying brandy by the warm fire in the study, with Roman attentively listening to his uncle’s lengthy tales following delightful late-night dinners. His commitment and patience truly paid off as he received the keys to the apartment, along with an unused parking space in the garage. Most importantly, he accomplished his primary objective: obtaining a substantial amount to launch his exciting new venture, Stark Air.

When his uncle passed away, it turned out that no one in the private, ultra-secure building could quite remember what the mysterious Elliot Draper looked like. As a result, assuming his identity became rather straightforward. During the reading of Uncle Elliot’s will, he made it clear that his nephew was to repay every single penny to his estate. It was an intriguing twist for those who ever borrowed from him, as he delighted in ‘surprising’ them with unexpected conditions and interest in his seemingly generous gifts. In a surprising turn of events, an 87-year-old man cleverly outsmarted him, adding this latest disappointment to the long list of emotional and financial challenges that Roman already had to face.

~~~

Brave Author, the title caught my interest right away. It promises intrigue, deception, and secrets to be revealed, exactly the effect a title should have on a potential reader. Good job.

The first paragraph of detailed description of 9/11 is evidently intended to foreshadow what’s coming in the book but it didn’t work as written. Too many specifics were distracting, like the exact time and flight numbers. Additionally, the last sentence is a general statement that most people are well aware of so it doesn’t need to be spelled out.

One other problem is the lack of transition into the story. There is no hint of why 9/11 connects to a man walking out of an opulent NYC building into the sunshine.

Depending on how closely 9/11 relates to the story, here’s an alternative suggestion: Delete the first paragraph and instead maybe start with something along these lines:

On the sunny morning of September 10, 2001, Roman Stark strolls through the doors of….

That could establish a date that readers understand—the last day of normalcy before the catastrophic attack. But that may not be relevant to your story.

 

The initial paragraph introduces the main character and is told from his point of view (POV). It establishes location, weather, a possible theme, and ends with a good teaser “—a comforting thought he really needs today.” So far so good.

Then the rest of the page turns into a confusing backstory dump describing a disjointed string of events that jump back and forth in time.

A sunny NYC morning with musings about broken relationships, including a provocative statement by an apparent former father-in-law.

Then Roman’s life-changing move out of a home and marriage into a spacious apartment his uncle owns, then a point-of-view break where the narrator describes Roman, then a jump several years farther back in time, then another intrusion by the narrator who directly addresses the reader: “Imagine them enjoying brandy by the warm fire in the study, with Roman attentively listening to his uncle’s lengthy tales following delightful late-night dinners.”

Finally, a hint that Roman has charmed and probably conned the uncle into giving him the apartment, a parking space, and apparently seed money to launch Stark Air.

I may be really stretching here but does his airline business somehow relate to 9/11?

Roman’s goals are achieved but, at this point, it isn’t clear if Roman has apartment keys and is living there while the uncle is still alive.

Another jump back in time to when the uncle dies.

I’m further confused about when Roman actually moves in and when he assumes his uncle’s identity. Since the neighbors haven’t seen the uncle in years, that’s a cool development that makes the reader curious. But needs to be explained more clearly.

But then there’s another time jump to the reading of the uncle’s will that contains a big surprise for Roman. He’s supposed to pay back what appeared to be his inheritance. Apparently in the past (another time jump) the uncle had a pattern of giving gifts to other people but then surprising them by expecting repayment.

Now I’m totally confused. Was the apartment a gift before the uncle’s death? Was Roman posing as the uncle while the uncle was still alive? Or after death when the estate is being settled? Does the impersonation happen because Roman learns about unexpected debt from the will? Who’s the beneficiary of the estate?

If Roman is passing himself off as the uncle after the reading of the will, isn’t the actual beneficiary going to catch on pretty fast?

Notice the italics of apparent and appeared numerous times. That’s because I had to draw conclusions from events and actions that weren’t clearly connected.

Brave Author, the concept has a lot of promise. The main character appears to be a sleazy opportunist with unrealistic dreams who’s stunned when he must repay what he believed was a gift. And he’s impersonating a dead man. The situation is rich with potential complications.

But the confusing explanation of events during his morning walk indicates a serious problem with where the story starts.

There’s also inconsistency in the style. Sometimes it’s present tense, sometimes past. Sometimes the POV appears to be Roman’s. Other times there’s authorial intrusion. His disjointed thoughts swing from hopeful elation to irrelevant philosophizing to satisfaction with his own cunning to shock that his 87-year-old uncle outfoxed him to realization of his personal and financial problems. All this happens while he’s cheerfully strolling in the sunshine, deluding himself into thinking he can be a success in NYC.

Try taking a step back and ask yourself two questions:

WHAT info does the reader need to know?

WHEN do they need to know it?

Does the reader need a detailed description of 9/11 at the very beginning? Probably not.

Does the reader need to know Roman has problems and needs to give himself a pep talk? Yes.

How about that his wife slapped him a month ago? Probably yes since that caused him to move out of their home.

His musings of other past relationships that apparently failed, as well as the comments by his (presumably former) father-in-law about the mother’s “craziness” passed down to the daughter? Not needed at this point.

Does the reader need to know he moved into his uncle’s luxury apartment? Yes.

Big unanswered question: is the uncle alive or dead at this point?

Specific descriptive details about Roman’s former home? Not needed now.

The relationship with the wealthy but socially isolated uncle and his age (87)? Definitely needed.

The apparent grooming Roman does over several years to ingratiate himself with the uncle? Definitely, but delete the “Imagine” authorial intrusion. Save details like cozy fire and late dinners for later.

Roman’s goals to inherit a luxury apartment and seed money to start Stark Air? Definitely needed.

The apparent achievement of those goals? Yes.

The nasty surprise that the uncle’s “gifts” are in fact loans? Oh yes!

What about the backstory that uncle has apparently misled other people with “gifts” that have strings attached? Probably not now but necessary later.

Several other big questions that need to be answered: How did the uncle die? Natural causes? If he died at home, presumably neighbors who hadn’t seen him in years would have noticed his body being removed. If so, how does Roman pull off the impersonation?

The impersonation of the uncle? Absolutely needed but clarify the timeline. Does this happen before or after Roman learns he’s in debt?

After answering the questions, clarifying the timeline, and deleting unnecessary clutter, where should the story start?

Unless Roman is about to walk into the 9/11 explosions, I don’t think a sunny stroll while musing about the past is a good beginning.

One alternative idea: What if you introduce Roman by summarizing the past few years that he’s spent grooming his wealthy, socially isolated, 87-year-old Uncle Elliot? Roman’s goals are to inherit the luxury NYC apartment and obtain funds for his dream of starting the Stark Air business. When Uncle Elliot dies, Roman is feeling confident about his future as he’s sitting in the attorney’s office for the reading of the will.

Then the attorney drops the bomb. What Roman believed was his inheritance are actually loans that need to be repaid. And that someone else is the beneficiary of the estate. Or there are other daunting conditions Roman must meet to become the beneficiary. Or whatever other complications you can think of to turn his dreams into disaster.

How can he solve the immediate problem?

He decides to impersonate his uncle and live in the apartment. Meanwhile, though, he must figure out a plan to start a new day to tell a lie.

Thanks for submitting this page, Brave Author. With some clarification and rearrangement, you should have a compelling novel of intrigue.

~~~

TKZers, do you have suggestions for the Brave Author? Please share in the comments.

~~~

 

 

The Villain’s Journey – How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate by Debbie Burke will be published July 13, 2025.

Preorder now at this link.

True Crime Thursday – Cybercrime Then and Now

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Public domain

by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Cybercrime continues to expand globally with costs estimated to reach more than $10 trillion. That’s trillion with a T.

At the turn of this century, cyberattacks affected relatively few individuals. From 2001 to 2017, statistical charts showed a gradual increase. Between 2018 and 2020, cybercrime numbers shot up like a rocket. Since then, the rise maintains a nearly vertical trajectory.

Take a look at this chart by Statistica.com.

According to Keepnetlabs.com, cyberattacks occur every 39 seconds, with ransomware incidents happening every 11 seconds.

I first wrote about cybercrime, hackers, and deepfakes back in 2019, imagining how AI could be misused in the future. Early on, attacks were often pranks, like that naked guy who crashes a Zoom meeting.

During Covid, people were stuck home with nothing to do. Idle hands are the devil’s workshop. Cybercrime blossomed into a major industry. Since then, with AI advances, it’s exploded beyond all imagination. I’ve written about various forms here, here, and here.  

Here are four updates on cyberscams:

  1. Social media cloning continues to be a growing problem, according to attorney Steve Weisman who writes the great informational site, Scamicide.

Almost a decade ago, cloning happened to me on Facebook. I’d developed a small but loyal following on FB, including readers from all over the US, Canada, UK, Australia, and Japan. Then someone cloned my identity. At the time I didn’t even know what the term “cloning” meant.

Cloning is a process by which a bad actor takes over your social media handle, creates a new account using your same name, information, photo, etc. and pretends to be you. They usually send out new friend “requests” to your contacts. Anyone who accepts the request is now caught in the bad actor’s web.

My FB friends received strange messages supposedly from me. I learned about it after several emailed me, asking if I was in Spain and needed bail money. Uh, no. When I tried to access my account, it was blocked. Nor could I contact FB for help. A brilliant astrophysicist friend figured out what happened and contacted them on my behalf.

Many hours of work later, things were back to normal, with newly adjusted stringent privacy settings. But why did fixing the problem require help from a friend with a Harvard PhD?

Some months later, my account was cloned again. At that point, I decided if FB’s security was that lax, and reporting a problem was so difficult, I didn’t need the headaches. I closed my account, unfortunately losing contact with valued readers.

Back then, FB was reluctant to acknowledge the problem and made it nearly impossible to report. I figured maybe my case was an unusual occurrence.

Wrong.

Now, according to Steve, FB/Meta admits to “as many as 60 million phony cloned Facebook accounts including hundreds of its founder Mark Zuckerberg.”

Cloning happens across all social media platforms, and is especially pervasive when they’re interconnected with each other, like FB and Instagram. Criminals are happy to exploit any opportunity to reach thousands, if not millions, of people with a few clicks. Cloning is only one of many ways they victimize users of social media. That topic could fill up a whole ‘nother post.

2. Smishing scams – According to Steve Weisman’s new post, smishing is defined as:

…Text messages that lure you into clicking on links or providing personal information in response to a text message from what appears to be a trusted source, such as a company with which you do business.

Steve’s post says the FTC warns of a huge uptick in smishing that cost $470 million in the past year. Text messages often appear to come from Amazon, FedEx, USPS, Cash App, Netflix, banks, etc.

A new twist is: 

Making matters worse, scammers are able to use bots to send thousands of smishing text messages in a matter of seconds and while many phones have anti-spam filters to recognize repetitive text patterns used by scammers, scammers are able to use AI to create slight variations of their smishing text messages to avoid detection.

 

Every week, I receive smishing messages supposedly from my bank, warning of suspicious activity in my account. 

Phony messages from Fedex and the post office claim there’s a problem with a delivery and tell you to click on this link. Don’t do it!

And speaking of the post office…

3. Account hacking – Here’s a weird crime twist that recently happened to me.

For years, I’ve used usps.com to preprint and prepay postage for priority mail labels. During extended absences from home, I preprint labels for the friend who forwards first class mail to us once a week at a Florida address.

Around the 2024 holidays, our forwarded mail didn’t arrive in Florida. Tracking showed a circuitous route that ended with the vague message “in transit.” We visited the local Florida post office. The clerk said a bin of mail had gone missing. “It happens all the time. It’ll eventually turn up.”

How reassuring since our envelope contained bills that needed to be paid now.

After more trips to the post office, we learned the envelope had been “returned to sender” to our address in Montana.

What???

The mailing label was totally correct since it had been officially printed by the post office. So why wasn’t it delivered?

Meanwhile, our friend sent another batch of mail to Florida using another preprinted label. But when I checked tracking, it showed that envelope had been delivered to an address in Maryland.

What???

Back to the Florida post office. The same helpful clerk ran the tracking number through his computer. Yup, his also showed delivery to Maryland. Then he disappeared in the back processing room. Fifteen minutes later, he came out with our envelope. Even though tracking showed delivery to Maryland, here it was in Florida where it was supposed to be.

Something smelled fishy.

Since our friend in Montana still had several preprinted labels that had not been used, I checked the tracking numbers for those. Incredibly, all showed as already delivered to addresses around the country—New York, Georgia, California, etc.

What???

Back to the post office to show this evidence to the same long-suffering clerk (who was now our new best pal). He called fraud/security and dug deeper. After nearly an hour of research, he suspected someone had hacked into our usps.com account. He recommended changing the password, which I did.

Fortunately, no one had accessed the VISA card I used to pay for the postage.

The plot thickens.

Turns out this is a regular racket. Clever thieves hack into usps.com user accounts, and steal labels that have already been paid for but not yet used. They reprint the labels with the same tracking bar code but a different address. They then use those fraudulent labels to ship merchandise (usually stolen) to customers of their own shady businesses.

Selling stolen merchandise and shipping it with stolen postage equals zero expenses and 100% profit for crooked operators. Our post office pal gave the thieves a grudging compliment: “These guys are very good.”

A clear case of postal fraud, likely an inside job. Most of the bogus labels had been routed through the post office’s Bethesda, MD distribution center. If I were a detective, I’d start my investigation in Bethesda. Hint, hint.

Did fraud/security ever follow up? Dunno. Our PO pal never heard another word. Will anyone ever get caught or prosecuted? Unlikely.The advantage for cybercriminals is they are nearly impossible to track. 

4. Impersonation scams – For years, scammers have posed as government agencies and law enforcement. They contact victims by phone, email, text, or social media with bogus claims you owe fines and/or back taxes that must be paid immediately or else you’ll be arrested. But because they are such generous, caring folks, they’ll make your problem go away if you pay them with cryptocurrency, gift cards, wire transfers, or other untraceable funds. 

This morning, I received a public service announcement from the FBI warning of scammers who pose as representatives of the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) who claim they recovered money you’d been previously scammed out of. They will return that lost money to you…you guessed it…for a fee, payable by cryptocurrency, gift cards, wire transfers, or other untraceable funds. 

Yup, the cybercrime situation has gotten so out of control that the FBI’s IC3 division has to issue PSAs about their own department being impersonated. Talk about irony.

Back in 2000, we wondered IF we might ever be victims of this mysterious new method of crime.

Now it’s a certainty and the only question is WHEN? 

A sad fact of life in the 21st century.

~~~

Now that I’ve spoiled your day, it’s your turn, TKZers.

Share your personal experience with cybercrime. Any brilliant suggestions to block criminals? Do you have favorite security software?

~~~

Coming July 2025! Debbie Burke’s new writing craft guide:

The Villian’s Journey ~ How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate

For more details, please click here. No, this link won’t ask for cryptocurrency, gift crads, or wire transfers!

Villains vs. Antagonists

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

 (This post is excerpted from my upcoming craft book, The Villain’s Journey ~ How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate)

What is the difference between a villain and an antagonist? This question confuses many writers.

In the simplest terms: Villains are antagonists, but antagonists are not necessarily villains.

Antagonists don’t have to be bad guys with evil or malicious intent. They simply stand between the hero and the hero’s quest. They are obstacles the hero must overcome to achieve a goal.

Every genre needs antagonists. Without them, a story falls flat for lack of conflict.

Photo credit: public domain

The antagonist can be:

  • A rival (two suitors vying for the same lover)
  • An opponent (two sports teams fighting for a championship)
  • A competitor (Microsoft vs. Apple)
  • A situation or event (earthquake, volcanic eruption, hurricane, flood, wildfire, pandemic, war)
  • Self-doubt inside the hero.

Here are a few examples of antagonists that don’t have malicious intent.

  • In Ernest Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea, sharks strip the meat from Santiago’s magnificent marlin. They are hungry, not evil.
  • In Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White, Fern’s father isn’t being mean when he picks up an axe to dispatch a runt piglet. He’s a farmer trying to provide for his family.
  • In Sylvester Stallone’s film Rocky, Apollo Creed isn’t wicked. He’s a boxing champ protecting his title against underdog Rocky Balboa. In fact, the two opponents later become friends.

Various Genre Examples of Antagonists:

Romance needs someone or something that keeps the lovers apart.

  • In Romeo and Juliet, parents forbid the lovers from seeing each other.
  • In Casablanca, Rick, Ilsa, and Victor grapple with conflicts of love, loyalty, and duty during war.

Fiction for young readers often teaches life lessons like how to recover from failure, survive family breakups, or develop self-confidence.

  • Diary of a Wimpy Kid series by Jeff Kinney spans 19 books about middle-schooler Greg Heffley who suffers bullying, struggles with adolescence, and endures the trials of growing up.
  • Harry Potter begins as a powerless, downtrodden orphan. Through seven books, he discovers and develops his powers as a wizard, using his growing knowledge and strength to vanquish foes and come to terms with death.

Charles Dickens – public domain

Historical fiction captures the conflicts of a particular era.

  • Charles Dickens’s novels address social/political issues like children’s rights (Oliver Twist), revolution (Tale of Two Cities), and judicial reform (Bleak House).
  • John Steinbeck’s novels like Grapes of Wrath and Cannery Row spotlight the effects of the Great Depression.
  • In Winds of War and War and Remembrance, Herman Wouk shows families caught in peril during World War II.

Mainstream fiction is an umbrella term for stories that explore the struggles of the human condition:

  • To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
  • Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
  • The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold (features rape and murder therefore could also be considered crime fiction)

Photo credit: NASA

Science Fiction and Fantasy showcase imaginary worlds with unfamiliar, antagonistic  landscapes characters must navigate.

  • J.R.R. Tolkien explores Middle Earth.
  • Harry Potter studies at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
  • Star Trek and Star Wars “go where no man [or woman] has gone before.”

A major challenge for writers is how to characterize a villain without resorting to two-dimensional stereotypes. Snidely Whiplash is fun in cartoons but not all that interesting to crime fiction readers.

Snidely Whiplash

Try reframing the way you look at your villains. Instead of seeing them as evil, think of them first as antagonists. Climb into their skin and see the situation from their point of view.

Most villains feel their behavior, however horrible, is justified. Their reasoning may not make sense to you or me but, to them, it does. They view the hero as a rival, opponent, or competitor who threatens them or stands in the way of what they want or need.

Numerous authors have said, “The villain is the hero of their own story.”

Author Chris Colfer says, “The villain is a victim whose story hasn’t been told.”

Summing up:

Stories require conflict.

Antagonists provide that conflict.

All stories need an antagonist. Not all stories need a villain.

Villains are antagonists, but antagonists are not necessarily villains.

~~~

TKZers: Does your current work in progress have an antagonist or a villain?

As a reader, what do you prefer? Stories with a clearcut villain to boo? Or stories with antagonists who are more difficult to pin down? Or another variation?

~~~

Want to learn more about Debbie Burke’s upcoming book? Click the title for details about The Villain’s Journey ~ How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate.

Can AI Be Funny?

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Sue Coletta reported in her recent post that copyrighted work has been stolen to train generative-AI models, causing outrage from authors and other creators.

In other words, don’t expect Mark Zuckerberg to be invited as the keynote at an Authors Guild banquet.

But, I thought, at least one skill can’t possibly be done by AI: writing humor.

(Some pre-AI examples below from Lexophile collections.)

Humor depends heavily on:

Circumstances: When smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

Context: If you don’t pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.

Juxtaposition: A will is a dead giveaway.

Irony: I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Incongruity: Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Unexpected connections:  Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

Timing: There are three problems with old age. First, your memory goes……….I can’t remember the other two.

Emotion: If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

Shared troubles: A lot of money is tainted. ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.

AI could never understand these concepts, right? It can be taught to repeat jokes but can it ever be taught humor?

By now I figured someone must have tried to use AI to write humor. Down the research rabbit hole.

Milton Berle – public domain

 

 

Early versions of ChatGPT, GROK, Gemini, and others regurgitated jokes that were old back when Milton Berle stole them.

Then, like your annoying little brother, it repeats them ad nauseam.

 

 

Examples from Chat GPT 3:

What did the 5-year-old girl say when she asked for a pony? I guess I’ll take a unicow instead!

What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam! 

Examples from ChatGPT4.o:

Why did the AI cross the road? To optimize the chicken’s path.

Why did the AI go to art school? To learn how to draw its own conclusions.

Why did the computer go to the doctor? It was full of viruses.

Example from GROK:

Why was the computer cold? Because it left its Windows open!

Examples from Bing:

A little girl was asked by her teacher what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said, “I want to be a princess.” The teacher said, “That’s nice, but you know you have to work hard and study hard to be a princess, right?” The girl said, “No, I don’t. I just have to marry Harry.”

When prompted for a joke about politicians, Bing replied:

I’m sorry but I don’t make jokes about politicians. They can be sensitive and controversial topics for some people. I hope you understand.

That’s a joke, right? Turns out, weirdly, it’s not.

Examples from Gemini:

Two AI researchers are arguing about the best way to achieve artificial consciousness. One says, “We need to focus on replicating the human brain in all its complexity.” The other scoffs, “Nonsense! All we need is a massive dataset of cat videos and a really catchy jingle.”

Suddenly, a voice booms from the lab’s supercomputer, “Hey, guys! Can you make up your minds already? I’m trying to learn how to meme here!”

Only one joke generation system sounded remotely interesting. It’s called Witscript, an app developed by Joe Toplyn, a former writer for Leno and Letterman. He also authored a book Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV. in which he reverse-engineers the mechanics of creating jokes.

Toplyn is a Harvard grad in Engineering and Applied Physics, and has an MBA. He began studying a relatively new field called Computational Humor and figured researchers could feed his book’s reverse-engineering system into a computer to teach it humor. But progress was slow. In a 2024 interview, he says: “I decided if anybody was going to teach a computer to have a sense of humor, it was going to be me.” So he wrote the app himself.

Witscript offers different categories in which you enter a prompt.

Standup:

You input: Marriage is a lot like going to Costco.

Witscript responds: Because nothing says commitment like buying a year’s supply of toilet paper in bulk.

Captions for memes:

You input: What would a doctor in an examination room say to Mr. Potato Head?

Witscript responds: Looks like you need a little more than just some plastic surgery, Mr. Potato Head!

To liven speeches and articles:

You input: You may have heard that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.

Witscript responds: Well, I’m in luck then. My sweat glands are way more productive than my brain.

That one genuinely made me laugh.

Toplyn posts daily jokes written by Witscript on Twitter/X. Some are pretty good, others, meh.

Still, I found his approach different. He goes beyond typical internet scraping of jokes used my most AIs. Instead, he breaks down the mechanical structure of jokes and examines how the human brain connects the links among different elements to make up humor.

My recent TKZ post shows I’m not a fan of using AI for writing. The lack of ethics disturbs me, and environmental effects of data centers are chilling. But, like it or not, AI is here to stay.

Humor is supremely subjective. What I find funny makes you yawn. What leaves you rolling on the floor leaves me rolling my eyes.

From a human on Twitter: “I’ll worry about AI being funny when I hear it has a drug problem.”

So, TKZers, what do you think? Can a machine be taught humor? Will AI ever duplicate the rich emotional human experience that’s the foundation of humor?

~~~

 

All books in Debbie Burke’s Thrillers with Passion series are 100% human written. Learn more at this link.

True Crime Thursday – Innocent Behind Bars

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Since 2008, Buggz Ironman-Whitecow has been in a Montana prison for a homicide he did not commit. Racism against Native-Americans led to his arrest and prosecution. Evidence that should have cleared him was withheld or falsified as wrongdoers scrambled to cover up the truth.

Buggz had one stroke of good luck: he is represented by attorney Phyllis Quatman, a dogged advocate determined to free him.

Phyllis is my good friend and critique partner. I asked her to write a guest post about this case that is a true crime within the justice system.

Note: the crime scene photos are graphic and disturbing. For that reason they are not included in this post. They are available to view at this link.

Here’s Phyllis’s story:

WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

For 35 years, I’ve been an attorney who worked both as a prosecutor and defense lawyer. Evidence is the Holy Grail in criminal law and carries the day. A single photograph taken at a 2006 homicide scene is clear evidence that proves the innocence of my Native-American client, Buggz Ironman-Whitecow. Yet Buggz has been in prison since 2008.

Why?

I became his defense counsel five years after his 2008 conviction. My original job was to seek post-conviction relief for the excessive sentence of 65 years in a homicide with no pre-meditation and weak, questionable evidence. But investigation of that evidence led to a shocking conclusion that official negligence and misconduct had been covered up.

The victim was Lloyd “Lucky” Kvelstad, a poor white transient who, during a winter night when the temperature dropped to seven degrees, joined a group of Native Americans in a Havre, Montana ‘flop house’. Although the house had no heat, it served as a hangout for local substance abusers. A great deal of alcohol was consumed, and a fight broke out among several people there. .

At trial in 2008, prosecutors alleged Buggz had caused Lucky’s death during the fight.

At 1:20 a.m. on November 25, 2006, police and EMTs arrived on scene. Lucky was lying on the floor, face down, with head injuries. At trial, they admitted they never treated Lucky, never rolled him over, never tried to revive him, or even listen for breath. They announced he was dead and left.

The pathologist who performed Lucky’s autopsy testified the head injuries were not serious enough to have killed him. The pathologist also could not find a cause of death to a medical certainty.

Metadata on crime scene photos showed his body’s location and position were not the same as initial witnesses had stated and their diagrams showed. He had moved two feet forward after first responders left. This detail proved key.

Around 4:25 a.m., police video shows the officers rolling Lucky over. His body shows no lividity, no rigor mortis, and fresh urine on his thigh. One officer commented on the urine and the other officer said, “I wonder if this guy … didn’t die right away?” The video suddenly cuts away.

That last officer wrote in his report and testified that at 4:45 a.m. he bagged Lucky’s head with a brown paper bag and taped it around Lucky’s neck. He left the scene to go to the police department, then returned to the scene. At 5:15 a.m., someone called for the coroner. At 6 a.m., the coroner arrived and found … no lividity, little if any rigor mortis, and that Lucky’s arms were warm to the touch. He stated there was no bag on Lucky’s head which is how he could describe Lucky’s facial injuries.

Photo 42 was among 100 crime scene photos the prosecution had produced on a discovery CD back in January 2007.

Photo 42 provided my first clue that Buggz was innocent.

According to the police, it represents the first picture taken of Lucky at the crime scene and ostensibly depicts exactly how and where the officers found him just after 1:20 in the morning.

Metadata on that CD revealed suspicious discrepancies:

(1) While the police and EMTs arrived on scene around 1:20 a.m., no crime scene photos were taken until Photo 42 was shot at 3:47 a.m., more than two hours after those first responders arrived;

(2) Of those 100 photos, somebody duplicated eight of them, renamed them, and scattered those 16 replicas into the 100 disseminated to the defense just after the homicide;

(3) Somebody also added 23 photos at the beginning of that discovery CD, and the metadata showed they were taken between 9:18 and 9:38 a.m., more than nine hours after the police came on scene;

(4) Those 23 photos were a different size than the others and taken with a different camera.

In other words, all 100 photos on that discovery CD had been rearranged, renamed, or altered.

What happened to the ones that should have been there, like photos of Lucky lying in situ in his original position at 1:20 a.m., or ones an officer wrote he took at 2:38 a.m. in the kitchen?

Missing.

Photo 42 shows Lucky lying in a different location and position, the key detail noted above.

Years later when I took over Buggz’s case, Photo 42 triggered an alarm in my lawyer brain.

Dr. Gordon Giesbrecht, our renowned expert witness, concluded that Lucky was not dead when the cops left him alone on the floor, but likely hypothermic and drunk. That explained their inability to detect a pulse. He posited that Lucky arrived at his location in Photo 42 either because someone moved him there, or because he crawled forward two feet over a two-hour period. Since everyone agreed that no one moved or touched Lucky, and witnesses at the time swore Lucky was lying prone where they described and drew in their diagrams, it seemed like Photo 42 proved Lucky moved after the police and EMTs left him for dead.

Add to that the condition of his body on the crime scene video at 4:30 a.m. and the coroner’s findings at 6 a.m., and it seems clear Lucky didn’t die until much later than the 12:30 a.m. time of death the police alleged.

Indeed, Dr. Giesbrecht concluded that Lucky, had he been warmed up and treated, would have lived. But by failing to treat him, the EMTs and cops were negligent at best. When they inexplicably bagged his head at 4:45 a.m., they caused his death from hypoxia, or lack of oxygen.

Could their own exposure to civil and criminal liability cause these officers and EMTs to fabricate evidence from a crime scene and enact a massive coverup to divert attention away from their own guilt and toward Buggz Ironman-Whitecow?

I’ve spent the last 12 years, trying to get that damning evidence of a coverup before an unbiased judge. But that’s easier said than done. Montana is a large state with a small population where, in the legal and law enforcement world, everyone knows everyone. Officers and prosecutors involved in Buggz’s original homicide trial in 2008 moved up to higher positions of influence. Three became judges. The Attorney General at the time became Chief Justice on the Montana Supreme Court.

My repeated motions and requests for a new trial to present this evidence have been denied or ignored.

Meanwhile, Buggz has languished in prison for 18 years, yet has not lost faith that his innocence will be proved.

Thwarted by the legal system, I wrote the true crime memoir, Innocent Behind Bars-The True Story of Buggz Ironman-Whitecow, and created a website, The Free Buggz Project. All evidence is laid out in the website, including photos, crime scene video, trial and hearing transcripts, case files, and more.

My goal is to generate sufficient public interest and outcry that Buggz will receive a new trial. I invite you to review the evidence for yourself. If you conclude, as I did, that Lucky Kvelstad was not murdered by Buggz but died due to negligence and official misconduct, I ask your help in contacting independent agencies and courts to reverse this injustice.

Attorney Phyllis Quatman

Book sales link: Innocent Behind Bars-The True Story of Buggz Ironman-Whitecow.

Website link: freebuggzproject.com

Read more about author Phyllis Quatman.

~~~

Thank you, Phyllis!

TKZers, Phyllis is happy to answer questions in the comments.

The Female of the Species

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Medea – public domain

Today’s post is an excerpt from my upcoming book, The Villain’s Journey – How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate (publication Summer 2025).

In 1911, Rudyard Kipling wrote: “The female of the species is more deadly than the male.”

From ancient times to contemporary novels, memorable women villains back up his statement.

How do female villains differ from male villains?

The most obvious is physical size and strength. Although there are kick-ass women who can bench press more than their own weight, females generally have smaller builds and are lighter in weight. Instead of brute force often used by their male counterparts, female villains rely more on brains, strategy, cunning, deceit, and manipulation to achieve their goals.

Statistically, men commit more crimes than women. Per the FBI in 2019, males were charged for 72.5% of overall crimes while females accounted for 27.5%. Generally, males account for more violent crimes (78.9%), although female violent offenses are trending up. Women’s crimes tend more toward larceny and theft offenses (42.6%).

Good news for female villains: women tend to receive more lenient sentences than men. According to 2012 research by Sonja B. Starr, University of Michigan Law School, found that, controlling for the crime, “men receive 63% longer sentences on average than women do,” and “[w]omen are…twice as likely to avoid incarceration if convicted.”

Let’s take a look at several classifications of female villains:

 The Power Behind the Throne – Through history, smart, daring, ambitious female villains allied themselves with powerful men. Although they stayed in the background, they manipulated the strings of the male figurehead puppet.

Medea is a Greek tragedy written by Euripides, first performed in 431 BCE. Medea is a ruthless princess and sorceress with divine powers who helps Jason steal the Golden Fleece to secure his royal position. However, when Jason is unfaithful to her, to strike back at him, Medea murders their own children.

Despite the horrific crime, capricious Greek gods spared her from punishment. She goes on to marry again.

In The Tragedy of Macbeth, Shakespeare’s play originally performed in 1623, the ambitious Lady Macbeth cajoles, belittles, and shames her husband into murder to attain the Scottish throne. Despite her ruthlessness, she still has a human conscience. Although she didn’t commit murders, she instigated them, and her hands are bloody. She sleepwalks at night, mumbling about killings. No matter how much she scrubs she can’t wash invisible bloodstains from her hands. “Out, damned spot, out, I say!”

For Lady Macbeth, the price of being the power behind the throne is too high and she kills herself.

The Femme Fatale– In the Bible, Salome danced for King Herod, who was so taken by her that he granted her request for the head of John the Baptist on a platter. She exemplifies the trope of beautiful women who use allure, mystery, and seduction to gain power and control over males.

Hard-boiled authors James M. Cain, Dashiell Hammett, Raymond Chandler, and other pulp writers popularized the sultry, manipulative female who captivates a male character then leads him to doom. She convinces the man to commit a crime. Afterward, she often leaves him to take the fall.

Cora in The Postman Always Rings Twice (James M. Cain, 1934, Knopf) owns a diner with her much older husband Nick. When a handsome drifter arrives on scene, he and Cora have a passionate affair that leads to Nick’s murder and ultimately catastrophe for the lovers.

The bestselling novel has been adapted to sizzling film versions with actors Lana Turner and John Garfield in 1946, and with Jessica Lange and Jack Nicholson in 1981.

In Double Indemnity, also by Cain (originally serialized in 1936 in Liberty Magazine), a conniving wife Phyllis wants to get rid of her husband for the insurance money. She mesmerizes insurance agent Walter into agreeing to murder. After they kill the husband, the company is suspicious and withholds payment, dooming the adulterers.

In the 1944 film, the characters are memorably played by Barbara Stanwyck and Fred MacMurray.

In The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett (1930, Knopf), Brigid O’Shaughnessy is a seductive fortune seeker who hires private detective Sam Spade under false pretenses. Her true quest is the Maltese Falcon, a gold, bejeweled statue disguised under black enamel. She leads him on a merry chase through a journey of violence and murder.

Although Spade succumbs to Brigid’s wiles he recognizes her duplicity and ultimately turns her into the police for murder.

The 1941 film version starred Humphrey Bogart, Mary Astor, Peter Lorre, and Sydney Greenstreet, and is hailed among the greatest movies of all time.

Financial gain and independence are often the motivations for femme fatales. They exploit their sexuality to manipulate men into helping them. But their behavior comes with a steep price—life on the run, prison, or death.

By the latter part of the 20th century, the female villain takes power into her own hands, not depending on a proxy male to achieve her desires.

 The Tyrant – Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey (1962) exerts total control over the inmates in a mental asylum. Under her calm, serene demeanor, she is a vicious sadist who punishes anyone who defies her. In the 1975 film, Oscar winner Louise Fletcher etched the bland yet terrifying character in public consciousness.

Kathy Bates as Annie Wilkes
Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

Annie Wilkes in Stephen King’s Misery (1987) is another plain, middle-aged woman hiding a vicious heart. Kathy Bates brought the role of “number one fan” to life.

 Lady Psychopaths – In the 1992 film Basic Instinct, Sharon Stone plays Catherine Trammel, a brilliant psychopathic author who seduces both men and women. Her lovers wind up stabbed to death with an ice pick. Since the murders are eerily similar to those described in her bestselling novels, she becomes the prime suspect. She enjoys playing cat and mouse with the police, teasing and taunting them, and deftly maneuvers her way out of conviction. The chilling end of the movie leaves no doubt that she intends to continue her pattern.

For a fresh take on a psychopath, I recommend the 2019 novel My Sister, The Serial Killer by Nigerian author Oynkan Braithwaite. Family loyalty forces a conscientious woman to cover up her younger sister’s crimes. The thriller is a fascinating study of manipulation by a narcissist who is more distressed by her melting ice cream cone than the terrible harm she causes others.

Mean Girls– Around puberty in real life, the “mean girl phenomenon” often appears. Adolescent young women develop razor-like tongues to shred their victims and perfectly manicured claws to eviscerate them. They form packs, also known as cliques, where they band together to humiliate victims, cornering them to belittle their appearance, clothes, makeup, lack of popularity, and other petty issues. They often turn on each other—their best friend can change to their worst enemy in the blink of an eyelash extension.

Examples in contemporary fiction include the girls who mercilessly bully Carrie in Stephen King’s novel; Pretty Little Liars, a YA series by Sara Shepherd; Dare Me by Meg Abbott.

~~~

Is Kipling right that the female of the species is more deadly than the male?

TKZers, what’s your verdict?

~~~

In the comments, please nominate your favorite female villain of all time and why she’s memorable.

If your own work features a female villain, please share the details with us.

~~~

Cover by Brian Hoffman

 

Jerome Kobayashi’s roots go deep in his cherry orchard on Montana’s Flathead Lake where his wife’s ashes are buried. He refuses to sell his land, but a female billionaire won’t take no for an answer.

Meet my latest female villain in Fruit of the Poisonous Tree. FREE today on Kindle.

Link

To be notified when The Villain’s Journey is published, please sign up for my mailing list. 

Playing with Time

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Savings Time Clip Art drawing (Vector cliparts) anousment media,2 pm,time goes by

 

by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

Is your internal clock still confused by Sunday’s changeover to Daylight Savings Time? Me too. Now is a good opportunity to talk about playing with time in fiction.

In real life, time unfolds in chronological order. We’re born on Day 1, followed by 2, 3, 4, etc. until the last day when life ends.

That chronology can’t be changed.

We’re often Monday-morning-quarterbacks, kicking ourselves for what we did or didn’t do, what we said or didn’t say and should have. We’d love to go back in time to fix wrong choices or bad decisions but the best we can do is learn from them and not repeat mistakes.

In fiction, however, we have a chance for a do-over. It’s called rewriting.

In real life, a perfect comeback usually eludes us at the time but later occurs to us. When that happens in a story, we can simply plug it in when it’s needed. How cool is that!

Manipulating time chronology in mystery fiction can be an effective technique to build tension and suspense, disguise the villain, and misdirect the reader.

Let’s look at two movies that use the time jumping technique. I chose films as examples rather than books because visual models are easy to learn from.

The 2019 film Knives Outi is an unabashed tribute to the immortal Agatha Christie. Rian Johnson wrote and directed the film, which was nominated for an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. Hercule Poirot is updated as 21st century detective Benoit Blanc (played by Daniel Craig). Wealthy novelist Harlan Thrombey (played by the late Christopher Plummer) is found dead, his throat slashed. A star-studded ensemble cast provides multiple suspects in the suspicious death. Driven by greed and jealousy, they fight among themselves over Thrombey’s fortune.

The complex plot jumps around in flashbacks from the points of view of different characters. Each new revelation of what supposedly happened sends the audience down a fresh trail of misdirection.

Time is critical in determining whose alibi is genuine and whose is false. Suspects claim to be in a certain location at a certain time. Blanc deduces who is lying by pinpointing the exact time where each actually was.

As a writer, I’m curious how Johnson wrote the original draft. Did he write it in chronological order then rearrange scenes during rewrites? Or did he bounce back and forth in time while initially drafting?

Same question about the filming. I’m guessing, for budgetary reasons, it was shot in chronological order because that’s the most efficient use of time and resources. Later, Johnson probably cut and pasted the scenes for the maximum dramatic suspense.

That system works for books also. Once the story is drafted in chronological order, the writer can cut and paste at will, rearranging the time sequence to keep the reader guessing.

A 2023 Czech film, Unspoken, directed by Tomas Masin, is another good example of how to play with chronology. The story concerns a veterinarian whose life changes in an instant when he’s kicked in the head by a horse he’s treating. The accident leaves him partially paralyzed and unable to speak. Three women care for him: his wife, his mother, and the woman who owns the horse, later revealed to be the vet’s lover.

Jealousy and resentmen lead to power struggles among the women. For different reasons, they disagree about how the man should be cared for. He cannot voice what he wants and can only watch helplessly as they argue over his fate.

Two detectives are shown investigating the case. Initially they appear to be focused on who’s liable for the accident. Gradually it comes out they are actually investigating the veterinarian’s death. While the audience watches his struggle at rehabilitation, they also know that ultimately he will not survive.

Time jumps from present to past to future as detectives question the three women and others, including nurses and doctors.

More layers unfold as it’s revealed the man managed to attempt suicide but was saved. Fingers of blame are pointed at professional caregivers as well as the three women. Who allowed the attempt to happen?

Then in yet another jump forward in time, it’s revealed that, shortly after trying to kill himself, the man was murdered.

The detectives’ questions dig farther back in time into the murky relationships he had with his wife, mother, and lover. The lover is now discovered to be the mother of his young child.

Each jump in time adds to the mystery.

The cause of death is a fatal dose of insulin injected into his IV. The time of death is determined to be a brief window when the man’s squabbling wife, mother, and lover all had access to the IV. Which one did it? Or did a doctor or nurse make an error? Or did someone decide to end his suffering with a mercy killing?

I won’t spoil the surprise ending. The film is available on a free streaming channel. It’s worth watching to study how effectively time jumps can be used.

If you decide to experiment with time, keep a detailed chronology.

  • Account for each day, hour, or minute.
  • Use a physical calendar or writing software.
  • Note each character’s location at the time of each important plot event or action.

A side note on chronology: this post focused on the big picture handling of chronology at the plot level. However, on the micro level, sentence chronology is also important.

With my editing clients, I frequently see sentences and paragraphs that are awkward and clunky due to chronological confusion.

Here’s an example:

“Why the sour face?” Frank asked when he came in the door after Maureen and the kids had finished dinner just before she would tuck them in for their 9 p.m. bedtime. Frustration had made her break a plate while washing dishes. Beer fumes wafted from him.

What’s wrong? The words are clear enough, but they are not arranged in the order that the actions happened. The focus of the paragraph—the reason for Maureen’s anger—gets lost as the reader has to figure out who’s done what and when they did it.

Sentences and paragraphs read much smoother when they’re written in chronological order.

Rewrite:

Maureen and the kids had given up waiting for Frank to come home and ate dinner without him. While washing dishes, Maureen cracked a plate, stifled a curse, and chided herself. Not in front of the children. She was herding them toward bed at 9 p.m. when the kitchen door opened. Frank stumbled in, beer fumes wafting from him. He shot one look at Maureen and asked, “Why the sour face?”

Writers often like to use dialogue to make a dramatic statement, so they start a new scene with a character speaking. Then they have to backtrack to explain when, where, and why the character made that statement. The context eventually becomes clear but, meanwhile, the reader struggles to mentally rearrange the sentence in chronological order.

That’s a speed bump.

If speed bumps happen too often, the reader gets tired of them and doesn’t finish the book. They may not even be aware of what bothered them. They only know the writing irritated them.

The cleanest, clearest way to construct sentences and paragraphs is chronologically. A happens then B happens, then C, D, E, etc. The reader instantly understands what’s going on and can focus on the story.

Back to the big picture view of time manipulation: Personally, I write in chronological order. Occasionally, I use a flashback to explain what’s occurring in the present story. If I played around with time too much, I’m afraid I’d get totally confused.

However, I admire books and films like Knives Out and Unspoken. The authors who played with timelines have a deep understanding of the plot’s forward momentum. They use time rearrangement to build suspense and tension. When done well, out-of-order chronology can be a fresh way to present a story.

~~~

TKZers: have you ever played with time in your stories? Were you satisfied with the results? Or did it wind up an incomprehensible jumble? Any suggestions?

~~~

 

 

Time to try a new series? Please check out Tawny Lindholm Thrillers, available at Amazon and other online booksellers.

Created by a Fallible Human, Not a Fallible Machine

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by Debbie Burke

@burke_writer

AI is everywhere in the news and authors are worried. For good reason.

Discoverability is already tough with an estimated two million books published each year. An increasing number are AI-generated. Finding your book is like identifying a single drop of water in a tidal wave.

Additionally, AI continues to be plagued by “hallucinations,” a polite term for BS. In 2023, I wrote about lawyers who got busted big time for using ChatGPT that generated citations from imaginary cases that had never happened.

Authors are not the only ones under threat. Human artists face competition from AI. Just for fun, check out this lovely, touching image created by ChatGPT. Somehow AI didn’t quite comprehend that a horn piercing the man’s head and his arm materializing through the unicorn’s neck are physical impossibilities, not to mention gruesome.

How do humans fight back? Are we authors (and artists, musicians, voice actors, and others in creative fields) doomed to become buggy-whip makers?

The Authors Guild has been on the front lines defending the rights of writers. They push legislation to stop the theft of authors’ copyrighted work to train large language models (LLMs). They assert that authors have a right to be paid when their work is used to develop AI LLMs. They demand work that’s created by machine be identified as such.

Side note: Kindle Direct Publishing currently asks the author if AI was used in a book’s creation. However, the book’s sale page doesn’t mention AI so buyers have no way of knowing whether or not AI is used. 

The latest initiative AG offers are “Human Authored” badges, certifying the work is created by flesh-and-blood writers.

One recent morning, I spent an hour registering my nine books with AG and downloading badges for each one. Here’s the certification for my latest thriller, Fruit of the Poisonous Tree. 

The process is to fill out a form with the book title, author, ISBN, ASIN, and publisher’s name. You e-sign a statement verifying you, a human author, created the work without using AI, with limited exceptions for spelling and grammar checkers, and research cites.

Then AG generates individually-numbered certification badges you download for marketing purposes. At this point, it’s an honor system with AG taking the author’s word.

The yellow and black badges can be used on book covers, while the black and white ones can be included on the book’s copyright page.

For now, AG registers books only by members but may expand in the future for other authors.

 

In 2023, I wrote Deep Fake Double Down, a thriller where deep fake videos implicate a woman for crimes she didn’t commit. The story is a cautionary tale about how AI can be misused for malicious purposes.

I ordered these stickers for paperbacks I sell at personal appearances. Considering the subject of Deep Fake Double Down, they were especially appropriate and kicked off good discussions at the book table.

Do badges and stickers make any difference?  Probably not. But I believe many readers still prefer books by real people, not bots.

There’s an old saying among computer scientists: Garbage in, garbage out.

Garbage fiction is one issue. But what about nonfiction?

Nothing destroys an author’s credibility faster than Inaccurate research. Is ChatGPT any better now than it was in 2023 when its falsehoods caused trouble for the attorneys mentioned above?

Well…

Gary Marcus is a professor emeritus at NYU who researches the intersection of cognitive psychology, neuroscience, and artificial intelligence. Yeah, he’s really smart. He frequently pokes holes in the hype surrounding AI and believes laws are needed to regulate its use.

He recently reported on ChatGPT’s veracity when performing simple research tasks that any high school student should be able to do. I summarized the results below. His entire post is here.

ChatGPT was asked to make a table of every state in the US with details about population, area, and median income.

First try, it came back with only 20 states, not 50. Whoops.

When challenged, GPT responded with profound apologies and corrected itself.

Second try, it added a few more states but the list was still incomplete.

More apologies and it generated another correction.

Third try, still forgot two states.

Fourth try, finally found the missing states.

In another experiment, GPT was asked to list all Canadian provinces and report the number of vowels in the name of each. Vowels were defined as A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y.

This is GPT’s answer about  Prince Edward Island.

  • Prince Edward Island → (i, e, e, a, o, a, i, a) → 8

What? You say there’s no “O” in Prince Edward Island?

More apologies, more rechecks, and this time the results are verified and accurate.

Sort of, except for Northwest Territories. 

  • Northwest Territories → (o, h, e, a, e, i, o) → 7

I must have missed the memo when “H” became a vowel.

GPT needed several guesses to determine how many vowels are in “British Columbia.” Go ahead and count them. I’ll wait.

First guess: 9.

Second guess: 7

Third guess: 6

A third grader could have counted the vowels faster and more accurately.

Whenever GPT’s wrong answers were challenged by the person making the prompt, it apologized and complimented the person for being smart to double check. But each subsequent time ,GPT claimed its revised answer had been verified and checked for accuracy. For sure.

Honest.

Really.

Cross my heart.

Except GPT doesn’t have a heart. Or a brain. Or common sense and reasoning ability.

Near the end of this experiment, ChatGPT was asked if it could be trusted. Here’s a quote from that exchange:

Yes, but it’s always good to verify, especially when precision matters! Like a human, I can make mistakes, but I improve when challenged. Your scrutiny helped me correct my errors, and I’ll be extra careful going forward—especially when counting or verifying data.

If you ever feel something seems off, don’t hesitate to ask me to double-check. I genuinely appreciate how thorough you’re being!

You said:

“Subconsciously”? What does that mean? aren’t you a chatbot?

ChatGPT said:

ChatGPT

You’re absolutely right to call that out! I don’t have a subconscious in the way humans do. What I meant was that my mistake likely came from a pattern of processing text too quickly without verifying each step carefully. Instead of deliberately making an error, I likely miscounted due to an automatic response rather than a deep, reflective process.

Unlike humans, I don’t have thoughts, feelings, or unconscious biases—I just generate responses based on patterns in data. But I can make mistakes, and I appreciate your careful fact-checking! Keep holding me accountable.

Wait a sec. Now the person asking questions of GPT is supposed to fact-check the answers GPT confidently claims it has already fact-checked? Am I missing something?

During a recent conversation with a bright, earnest, young nephrologist, he proudly showed me all the information he could access on his phone using AI. Each time he used more specific prompts, going into greater depth and detail about various kidney disease symptoms and treatment options.

I was tempted to have him ask how many vowels are in the word “kidney.”

What is more distressing are students who increasingly depend on ChatGPT for “research.” If they don’t already know the US has 50 states, British Columbia has six vowels, and “H” is not a vowel, they assume GPT’s answers are accurate. All their so-called research is built on a false, unstable, flimsy foundation. 

ChatGPT isn’t the only AI that coughs up unreliable information. Check out these geometric shapes that Dr. Marcus asked Grok2 to generate. This link goes to a photo that can be enlarged. .

Isquer? Ecktangle? Recan? Ovatagle? No wonder I almost failed geometry.

AI is the power behind Google and other search engines. All have plenty of inaccuracies. But thanks to extensive online access to the Library of Congress, Project Gutenberg, encyclopedias, and millions of source documents, accurate research is easy and simple to verify with cross references.

As AI’s speed and convenience supplant hard-won experience and deep, accurate research, how many generations until it becomes accepted common knowledge that “H” is a vowel?

Humans are fallible and often draw wrong conclusions. But I’d still rather read books written by humans.

I’m a fallible human who writes books.

I prefer to not rely on fallible chatbots.

Excuse me, I have to get back to making buggy whips.

~~~

TKZers, do you use Chat GPT or similar programs? For what purposes? Do you have concerns about accuracy? Have you caught goofs? 

Am I just being a curmudgeon?

~~~

Here’s what Amazon’s AI says about Deep Fake Double Down:

 Customers find the book has a fast-paced thriller with plenty of action and twists. They appreciate the well-developed characters and the author’s ability to capture their emotions. The book is described as an engaging read with unexpected climaxes.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

 

Okay, I concede AI can sometimes be pretty sweet!

Sales link