Want a book review? Try these tips

Jordan Dane
@JordanDane

The Oklahoman newspaper

The Oklahoman newspaper

It’s my pleasure to introduce someone I’ve known for a long time, an Okie friend. I first knew Ken Raymond of The Oklahoman newspaper as a crime beat and features reporter. He is a talented author as well. After he graced me with a glimpse of his work, I’ve been trying to coerce him to write a novel ever since and hope he does one day. Very talented guy. Now he’s the book review editor at the paper, a man of many hats. Please chat Ken up, TKZers.

P S – I will be traveling and in remote spots this week. I may not have access to the internet, but I will try to check in on post day.

Ken Raymond’s Post:

Last year I interviewed David Sedaris, the humorist renowned for essays such as “Santaland Diaries,” a hilarious chronicle of his days working as an elf at Macy’s one holiday season.

We didn’t have much in common, aside from our mutual appreciation of his work, but we both love books … and we share a similar problem.

Whenever Sedaris makes a public appearance, would-be authors thrust their manuscripts at him. He’s not sure why, but he thinks they hope he will read all the books, pass them on to his editors and launch the writers’ book careers.That never happens. Sometimes he says no to the manuscripts; other times he takes them out of a sense of politeness and civility.

Even if he wanted, he could never find time to read them all.

I’m not famous. I don’t make many public appearances, and when I do, they’re usually at writing conferences or classrooms. But I do get buried in books, most of them unsolicited. Dozens pile up outside my front door each week, and more still find their way to what used to be my office.

Who am I? I’m just the book editor for The Oklahoman newspaper in Oklahoma City. Book editor sounds important, but really I’m just one guy who reads and reviews books and tries to convince other people to do the same. My staff, such as it is, consists of volunteer newsroom staffers and a handful of stringers, whose only recompense is a byline and a free book. I interview authors, write about industry trends and work hard to deliver the best possible product, but I’m also a columnist and senior feature writer. There are only so many hours in the day.

Don’t get me wrong: I love my job. I’m among the fortunate few in this world who are paid to read books. The problem is that there are just so many of them, good and bad, in all genres and styles.

Given all that competition, how can you make your book stand out — to me and to the countless other reviewers out there?

There’s no guarantee of success, but these tips may help:

Be honest.

For some reason, no one wants to come across as a beginner in the writing business. I guess everyone assumes that if they’re not all polished and shiny, they won’t stand out.

Me, I’m sick of flashy. I get hundreds of emails a week from authors or publicists, and sometimes from authors pretending to be publicists. The messages are so flashy they look like old Geocities websites, with weasel words thrown in to make it seem as if the books they’re pitching are the biggest thing to hit literature since the Gutenberg Bible. Read them closely, though, and they’re largely unappealing campaigns of self-aggrandizement.

I prefer a simpler approach: the truth. Don’t try to impress me; your book should do that. Your emails should tell me who you are, what you’ve written and why you think it stands out. Talk to me like we’re eating lunch together, and I’ll listen.

I’ll also tell you what I tell everyone these days. I can never promise coverage, but I’ll give you the same chance at a review that every other author gets, including the famous ones. I’ll look at your book, and if it’s not for me, then I’ll offer it up to my review team. If anyone picks it and thinks it’s pretty good, I’ll run a review. If they don’t like it, I probably won’t run a review.

Follow up.

If you apply for a job, odds are you won’t sit by the phone for two weeks, hoping it’ll ring. Instead, you’ll follow up a few days after the interview, letting the company know you’re interested and making sure you’re remembered. You may follow up again a week later.

The same goes for book promotion. Often someone will pitch a book to me, and I’ll ask for a review copy. By the time the book arrives in the mail, I may not remember it at all; I’ve dealt with a bunch of other books in the interval.

A simple follow-up email reminds me that we communicated about the book. It tells me that I was interested enough to request it. It’ll make me take a closer look.

Don’t take it personally.

Nothing turns me against a book more than an argumentative author. Earlier this year, a guy blitzed me with phone calls and emails, demanding that I review his minor book about his favorite subject: himself.

Somehow he had browbeaten other news organizations into writing reviews, none of which were particularly flattering. When his berserk behavior persisted, I told him I wasn’t interested in interviewing him or reading his book. He promptly called my boss eight times in a two-hour period and drowned him in email.

He seemed shocked, absolutely shocked, that he couldn’t force his way into the paper.

I don’t want to be a puppet. Most people don’t seek out needless confrontation. If we all act professionally, we should get along fine, even if I can’t get to your book or publish a review. I bear you no ill will; without you, I couldn’t do my job.

Play the odds.

Major publishers release fewer books during the cold weather months. The spring, summer and fall are all pretty hectic, so those winter months are your best opportunity to contact me. You simply won’t have as much competition.

At the same time, I scramble for content around that time of year. I suspect others in my position do, too. I start pushing gift books on Black Friday and continue every week until Christmas. Even if your book came out much earlier in the year, I may use it in one of my gift guides. I generally offer a range of books in different genres.

But winter isn’t your only window. Whenever possible, people like me prefer to publish reviews proximate in time to book release dates. If I could, I would limit most of my reviews to books that are about to come out in a couple days.

In order for that to happen, I need your book about a month in advance. Some critics prefer digital copies; I like physical books, even if they’re uncorrected page proofs.

Because I am in Oklahoma, I take special interest in books with some sort of Oklahoma ties. If you live here, went to college here, set your book here, whatever, that’ll up your odds of getting reviewed. The same applies to other regional newspapers. If you’re in Alaska, pitch your book hard to Alaskan publications.

Set up book signings, too. You probably won’t get rich at a book signing, since stores take part of the haul, but I always mention local book signings in print. Many other papers do the same. It may not be as good as a full review, but at least it gets your name out there.

Best of luck, and please contact me about your upcoming books. The best way to reach me is via email at kraymond@oklahoman.com. Follow me on Twitter at @kosar1969.

Discussion: Any questions for a book review editor, TKZers? You ever wonder what a crime beat reporter sees on the job? Or maybe you want to know what was the strangest features article Ken ever wrote? Ask away!

Ken Raymond - Book Editor & writer for The Oklahoman newspaper

Ken Raymond – Book Editor & writer for The Oklahoman newspaper

Bio:
Ken Raymond is the book editor and a senior writer at The Oklahoman. He publishes a monthly column called “Purely Subjective.” A Fulbright scholar and Pennsylvania native, he covered crime for much of his career, bringing dramatic stories to life through literary nonfiction. He has won numerous national, regional and state awards. Three times he has been named Oklahoma’s best writer by the Society of Professional Journalists. He lives in Edmond with his wife, three Italian greyhounds and a Chihuahua.

Hidden Rooms in the Basement

By Joe Moore
@JoeMoore_writer

Last Sunday, James Scott Bell gave us a great look back at his High School basketball conquests, described how it felt to be in “the zone”, related his successes to writing, and gave some excellent tips on how to develop mental muscle memory to make it easier to enter the zone on a constant basis.

Today, I wanted to expand on the zone concept. A beginning writer once asked me: “I’ve heard authors talk of being ‘in the zone’ regarding their writing, which I take to mean being in an altered state of extreme creativity. But how, without drugs or other stimulus, do you get into that state?”

In fact, as Jim mentioned, we hear the term in the zone used often, not only with writers, but athletes, artists, and just about any activity that requires skill, creativity and concentration.

So what is “the zone” and how do we enter it? Why is it so hard to remain there for extended periods of time?

Being in the zone can last for a few minutes, a couple of hours or a whole day. For those that never seem to enter the zone, it might be because they try too hard to do so. Sort of like when we stop trying to solve a problem, the solution suddenly comes to us through our subconscious, again as Jim calls “the boys in the basement”.

Let’s try to define what being in the zone means, especially when it relates to writing. For me, it’s a mental state where time seems to disappear and my productivity greatly exceeds normal output. It might start after I’ve finished lunch and sat down at my PC to work on a new chapter. Without any feeling of the passage of time, I suddenly realize a couple of hours have gone by and I’ve produced 1000 words or more. I don’t remember the passage of time or anything that deals with my surroundings. I only remember “living” or becoming immersed in the story’s moment, having the words flow from a deeper source, and “awakening” from the writing zone as if only a few moments have passed.

I’ve never been hypnotized, but I can assume that being in the zone is somewhat like self-hypnosis. My body remains in the here-and-now, but my creative senses somehow find a hidden room inside my mind, a place normally under lock and key. And I’m able to enter it for a short time to let what’s there emerge into the light of day.

It can also feel like driving down the Interstate on a long trip deep in thought or chatting on a hands-free cell phone and suddenly realize I can’t remember the past 10 miles.

I’ve also never been athletic, but judging from Jim’s story, I bet it’s a similar scenario: a golfer is able to tune out the surrounding crowd of tournament spectators, the dozens of network cameras, the worldwide audience, the cheers from the distant gallery as his opponents make a great putt, and he’s able to enter a place where only his game stretches out before him. The rest slips by in a blur. Personal mind control.

So, in addition to Jim’s tips, what are some additional methods for getting into the zone? Some writers use the “running start” technique by reading the previous day’s work or chapter. It gets them back into the story and hopefully the new words start to flow.

Others listen to music. This is something I often do. Nothing with lyrics, though. I listen to movie scores or piano and guitar solos. I find that it can help set a mood or become background “white noise” that blocks out other audible distractions. That’s because, for me, the biggest obstacle is distractions. It’s important to reduce interruptions and distractions by creating an environment where they are minimized. This means shutting my office door, closing the drapes on the windows, unplugging the phone, disconnecting Internet access, and most of all, choosing a time to write when those things can be fully managed. Doing away with distractions is no guarantee that I will enter the zone at will, but it does give me a fighting chance to at least knock on the door to one of those dark, hidden rooms in the basement and let my story flow.

OK, Zoner’s. What does it feel like for you to be in “the zone”? Any tips on how you make it happen?

———————————

thor-bunker-cover-RSApril, 1945. The Germans have the bomb. Download THOR BUNKER, A Short Story prequel to THE TOMB for only 99¢.

Tips for Brewing Up
a Bracing Hot Manuscript

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By PJ Parrish

So here I am, sitting in my Starbuck’s auxiliary office, and suddenly I woke up and smelled the coffee.

I had this epiphany about writing. It is just like making coffee. Some folks have a natural ability to make great coffee. They can start with the cheapest Maxwell House in the supermarket, add tap water, and it comes out tasting like Starbuck’s Rwanda Blue Bourbon made in a Bunn Tiger XL Super-Automatic Espresso Machine. Others can’t boil water for a tea bag without scorching the pot.

I am in this latter category. I’ve tried every kind of bean and brewer but my coffee always comes out tasting like dishwasher residue run through yesterday’s old paper filter.
For the life of me, I don’t know where I go wrong.

Now, my sister? Her coffee is always great. Even though she has a Mr. Coffee she found at a garage sale, has Northern Michigan well water, and uses Folger’s Classic Roast. When she comes to stay with me, she uses MY coffee stuff, my filtered water, my grinder, my Braun brewer and my Fresh Market cranberry-chocolate whole beans, and it still comes out better than mine every time. If you are like me and find that your coffee is not turning out the way you want it, then maybe it is time to invest in a new coffee machine. That is what my sister did and the results are way better than before and better than mine. The best way for me to make up my mind about what coffee machine I wanted next was to look at reviews. This way how I managed to make a quick decision, otherwise I would have been there forever. If I wasn’t recommended to look into a company like Identifyr, I probably would still be drinking my poor coffee from my old machine. For anyone in this situation, I would recommend that you treat yourself to a new coffee machine, to finally get the perfect cup of coffee and guess what goes fantastically well with new coffee machines? Some high-quality coffee. I hear that Iron and Fire have some of the best coffee going. Now that I have a new coffee machine, I actually think that having other pieces of equipment like a milk frother just makes it look like you know what you’re doing, even if you don’t. With this being said, when you start learning how to make that perfect cup of coffee, it might make all the difference when it comes to the tools you use. After doing my research and coming across sites like neptune coffee, I’m considering getting one of these. Considering I am trying to improve my coffee making skills, maybe this could be the solution to create the best coffee ever. I won’t know if I don’t try! She’s gotten even better at coffee making since she went to work at Horizon Books because she sometimes has to man the espresso machine. She can even make latte art – you know, panda faces in the foam kind of thing. She’s tried to teach me to make coffee and I’m getting better. Which gives me hope. Which also might give you hope.
Because making coffee is a lot like writing. If you study the craft of successful coffee-makers, if you work at the formula and fine-tune your machinery, you can produce something others will find worth consuming.

So, in an effort to help you brew a better manuscript, I am going to offer some silly but effective coffee metaphors. And thanks to Bo’s Cafe Life, one of my fave blogs about the writing life as seen through the eyes — and ink pen — of talented cartoonist Wayne Pollard. CLICK HERE to see more of Wayne’s work. His blog is worth a regular visit!

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Muddy Coffee
A common problem in manuscripts is lack of simple clarity in the writing. Who is doing what where? Have you clouded your action with too many side trips into description or backstory? Have you told the reader where the hero is in time and geography? Can we understand what he/she is doing? Do we know who is talking? (ie, is your dialogue attribution signage clear?) Can we “see” the action?

“I have trouble writing if I can’t picture how things are going to look. –Robert Kirkman

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Robust Coffee
Pay attention to your mood, imagery, description. You can put your cup of coffee in front of someone but if they can’t taste it, smell it or feel its warmth, they will pour it down the drain. One problem we often see in manuscripts is anemic or even non-existent description. No, you don’t want to lard up your beginning pages with TOO much of this. But some well-honed description can go a long way to seducing a reader into your story.

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Deep Dark Coffee
This is what we call “internal dialogue.” This is a narrative device whereby you let the reader into your characters thoughts, memories and feelings. Internal monologue can and should happen anywhere but it should complement whatever is happening in action.
In high action: Use shorter, faster, high impact words. You are inside the POV character’s brain. The words you choose to describe what he/she is feeling should amplify the mood of the scene. In slower scenes: You can use longer sentences, more thoughtful, calmer tone, softer words and a slow pace. Using a slower style in an action scene will end up giving you something like this:

He stood over the man, knife in hand. He wondered now if he could actually stab him, if he had the guts to thrust the blade into flesh. He remembered that hot day in July twenty-three ago, sitting at his mother’s knee, looking up to her with the kind of hope only a young boy could hold. Will Daddy be home soon, mama? His father had taught him…

The above cup of coffee should be tossed down the sink.

Distinctive Coffee

Dialogue is the lifeblood of your fictional brew. Keep it clean, effective and do not waste your precious beans on over brewing it or making more than your reader can drink.

Burnt Coffee
Did you “phone in” the last few chapters because you were just sick and tired of your own story or your own characters? Did you lose control of your pacing somewhere earlier in the story and as you raced toward the end and now you have too many loose ends to tie up? The ending of a book is almost as important as the opening. We talk here often about how crucial it is to concoct a grabber first couple pages. But a finely crafted, well-planned slam bang ending is also important. You have to leave the reader with a feeling of satisfaction (which isn’t the same as a “happy” ending) and a feeling that the ending has been well-earned.

kris6

Stale Coffee
Maintaining suspense is critical to crime fiction. But even if you write kid lit or historical romances, you still need to keep the reader guessing. Does what you brew taste stale? Does it make you hunger for more? Does it go cold too quickly? And pay hard attention to the “second act” of your story, what we call the “muddy middle.” This is where most stories go off the rails. Suspense does not have to a stalker lurking in the shadows. It can be as subtle as a long awaited kiss or as dramatic as a killer jumping out of the bushes. This is probably the hardest task for writers – keeping the coffee at just the right temperature and rich taste for the duration of the pot.

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Keeping Your Coffee Great For 400 Pages
• Stay focused
• Occasionally re-read your how-to books to help recognize where you’ve backslid. (Sample your own coffee every once and while)
• Read good writers to break through writer’s block and ignite your creativity. (Try other people’s coffee.)
• Read bad writers to jump-start confidence and rev up determination. (Pick up a cheap cup of coffee occasionally and force it down.)
• Continue to seek out and accept feedback as a professional.
• Know when a scene or the book is FINISHED. There’s only so much sugar, cream of cinnamon you add to a cup of coffee.

Cutting Your Chances of Your Coffee Being Rejected

Before she went into retirement, super-agent Miss Snark blogged often about what she looked for in manuscripts that crossed her desk. She said it always boiled down to three simple questions she asked of every submission she read:

  • Do you write well? (Is your coffee hot and finely brewed?)
  • Is your book premise fresh and interesting? (Have you cultivated a new bean?)
  • Is your voice compelling? (Do you have a fresh way to serve your coffee, or have you added a unique flavor?)

FINAL COVER

I hope you’ll allow me a moment of blatant self promotion. Our new book SHE’S NOT THERE is finally out! The South Florida Sun-Sentinel critic Oline Cogdill calls it “captivating.” Author Hank Phillippi Ryan, calls it “Taut, tense, and twisty—this turn-the-pages-as-fast-as-you-can thriller is relentlessly suspenseful.” Here’s the LINK.

Postscript: I am on vacation in France’s Loire Valley this month and I have wifi at my little cottage. But given the proximity of wineries, patisseries, and good books waiting to be read, I might not be here to comment. I promise to try to check in! But in the meantime, go get that second cup of joe (or a glass of Sancerre? Hey, it’s apero hour somewhere!) and watch this little video Kelly made on how to become an overnight success in this writing biz. Watch for your cameo, Nancy Cohen!

How long does it it really take?

I’ve been poring over my calendar this week, trying to assess what is realistic for me to achieve for the rest of this year (so far it’s gone WAY too fast!) – I’m half way through one WIP and have just the first few initial chapters and a draft proposal for another – so I’m trying to decide whether I can complete one or both of these projects and keep my sanity (that last bit is optional!).

Going through this process has made me realize just how little I keep track of the time it takes me to actually complete a novel – from initial research and drafts to the final version that is ready to be sent out on submission. My first book  probably took about a year and a half, the second a year…the third about the same (although it took much longer before it saw the light of day). One project, however, took almost two years to complete with a great deal of interaction and revision on the question of mythology and backstory with my agent and beta readers. However, beyond this, I can’t say I really know in quantitative terms how much time it takes me to finish a novel.

One of my author friends records her writing time in hour and minute increments so she can quantify just how much time it takes to finish her novels. I’m (sadly) nowhere near as organized and so my estimates are based on little more than cumulative time taken rather than hours actually spent (and let’s face it some days are way more productive than others!).

I know that when under pressure or deadline I can write efficiently and effectively (fear and panic are great motivators )- otherwise, I  find (at least at the beginning of a project) a great deal of dithering and second guessing especially over whether I’ve chosen the right book to pursue next (though don’t we always doubt this when we start a project?!). This year, in particular, has involved a lot of uncertainty and second guessing but now (I think) I’ve selected the projects to be finished. The question is, can I do it? Which led me to wonder, how long does it actually take most people to complete a novel? (I guess I’ve only just realized how few people I’ve asked this question).

So this means over to you TKZers…How long on average does it take you to go from the start (rough and horrid) to the end (polished and ready for publication)? Do you keep track of your writing time so you actually know how many hours it takes? And if so, do you then know how this time is divided into drafting that first draft, versus research or revisions and editing?  For someone like me, who has frankly never even considered using a time sheet or evaluating how I spend (or don’t spend) my writing time, do you recommend using any time management tools that enable you to (realistically) answer the question – just how long does it really take you to complete a novel?

 

Writing on Fire

JSB basketball TaftI loved playing basketball. Too many twisted ankles and a knee surgery have taken me off the court and onto the golf course. But my happiest times as an athlete were from junior high school to college, running up and down a hardwood floor.

High School was best. There is nothing quite like charging into a packed gym with fans cheering, warm-up music blaring, and cheerleaders making with the pom-poms.

Then the game begins, and you’re into it, and sometimes you’re hot, sometimes you’re not. And sometimes you are somewhere in between. You win some, you lose some. There are major highs—like hitting the winning shot at the buzzer. And dismal lows—like losing a championship.

But every one of them is a memory wrapped up in the rush you got from playing, and for that you gladly take the whole package.

And then there are those times when you are in “the zone.” That’s when everything goes so right it feels almost effortless. It’s the apex of athletic experience. It’s like a surfer catching a perfect wave. All you do is ride.

There’s no telling how long the ride will last. You’re just glad it happened.

When I think of my own zone times, there’s one night that stands above all the rest. It was the night I was on fire.

I could not miss. I was swishing 20 footers all over the place. I was dishing passes that would have had Magic Johnson nodding in approval. My Chuck Taylors had wings.

But in the opposing stands there was a guy sitting close to the sideline who started with the smack.

Now, it is every fan’s right to talk trash. They pay for a ticket, they can try to get into the head of the player who is carving up their team. When it happens, you have to answer on the court. You don’t want to give any indication that the digs are getting to you.

So I kept hitting shots.

And the guy kept running his mouth. Get in his face! He’s not that good! He’s slow! He’s afraid!

Yadda yadda yadda.

Then came the play. It’s the most vivid memory of that wildfire night.

I was on a fast break. A fast break is when you try to beat the other team down the floor to their basket. On this particular play I was dribbling up the right side when a player from the other team ran across the court to pick me up.

Without any hesitation I executed my favorite move, the crossover dribble. I switched the ball from my right hand to my left without missing a beat, changing direction as I did. It’s a move I picked up from watching Pete Maravich when I was a kid.

Now I was dribbling across the key toward the hoop. The guy I’d left behind was charging hard to catch up to me.

I could hear the smack-talking fan yelling his lungs out.

As I got close to the basket I sensed the other player getting ready to try to block my layup.

The fire took over.

I jumped in the air, switching the ball to my right hand. I was now actually facing the opposing stands. Without looking I flipped a shot over my head. As I did, I heard the smack talker laugh. He really did. Like I’d just thrown up the worst shot in the history of hoops. He stopped laughing when the ball banked off the backboard and through the net. Just as I knew it would.

As I started back up the court to play defense, I put a huge smile on my face and jogged slowly in front of Mr. Smack. I didn’t have to make eye contact with him. He saw my pearlies. And as I recall he didn’t make another sound the rest of the game.

Writers have a zone, too. You’ve been there. You’ve felt it. Sometimes for an hour of pure creativity, or maybe one whole, glorious day. You can’t force it. It comes unbidden. The fire is spontaneous, but there are some things you can do to lay out the wood.

Why was I able to perform a perfect crossover dribble at just the right time? Because I’d spent hours practicing dribbling on my driveway, often with a chair set up as an “opponent.” I’d go left-to-right, right-to-left, so in a game muscle memory could take over.

How could I shoot over my head without looking at the basket? Because I’d played countless games of HORSE, wherein you try to make trick shots that your opponent can’t duplicate. As a HORSE ninja, I’d always include over-the-head, no-look shots in my repertoire.

Finally, how did I sense where the other player would be? Because I’d been in hundreds of pickup games—two-on-two, three-on-three, four-on-four. Virtually every combination of play near the basket I’d experienced many times.

So you must practice. Not just any kind of practice. I’ve quoted the famous basketball coach Bobby Knight before: “Practice doesn’t make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect.” If you repeat the wrong things over and over, that’s not going to help you.

Which is why I’ve said that merely writing is not going to make you a better writer.

When you learn something about writing, when you observe the craft at work in a novel, jot yourself a note and then try to do the same thing in your own work. That’s the way you drill. That’s the way you get better.

Second, remember to play. Try things out. Be fearless. In pickup games I’d try out new moves. When I found one that worked, I kept using it.

Finally, do something every day to groove your writing. I used to carry a basketball when I walked to school. Sometimes I’d bounce it, sometimes I’d toss it from one hand to the other, just to implant the feel of it on my fingertips. You can do something each day to improve as a writer. You can:

  • Write your quota of words.
  • If you can’t write your quota, you can read something about writing (a chapter of a how-to, an article in Writer’s Digest, a blog post from a trusted source).
  • You can read a few pages of a novel and think about what the author is doing.
  • You can listen to an audio book as you drive or exercise.
  • You can write in a journal for five minutes.
  • You can carry a small notebook and jot down ideas as they come.

What other things can a writer do? Tell us in the comments.

I’m going to be out most of the day, so talk amongst yourselves. When have you experienced “the zone” in your writing, or in any other pursuit? How’d it feel? What did you do to get there?

***

JSB Meme

Beginnings

ten commandments

A short one, this time…

I was trying to think of a topic for discussion when a random thought occurred to me, an immutable law, if you will:

Every great story begins with someone doing something they should not.

Tell us (one of) yours. I’ll reciprocate. Eventually.

READER FRIDAY: Write Like Sybil

Camille and Kennerly Kitt, also known as The Harp Twins (Free image Wikipedia Commons)

Camille and Kennerly Kitt, also known as The Harp Twins (Free image Wikipedia Commons)

Have you ever tried working on more than one WIP (Work in Progress) manuscript at a time? If so, what benefits did you notice? Did you double up on your word count or write half-speed on each?

(This question doesn’t apply to editing a completed draft while starting something new.)

Error Go Bra!

By Elaine Viets

o-WOMAN-TAKING-OFF-BRA-facebook

NOTE: If you blush easily, the following blog is not for your delicate eyes. If you fearlessly pursue accuracy in your writing, then read on. I’m talking to you, dude.

The novel had a scene – as so many novels do – about a woman removing her bra before she had sex with her lover. Just like what you’d watch at websites similar to watchmygf.sex (https://www.watchmygf.sex/).

Never mind which novel. It could be Everyman. In fact, it is every man. Every man who writes a hot sex scene similar to what you’d see on websites like watchmygf.adult but only better says something like this dude:

“Her brassiere was a diaphanous lace, and when she reached behind herself in that quintessentially feminine move, I couldn’t look away.”

Huh? What “quintessentially feminine move”?

I got vulkan news for you, gentlemen. We don’t take off our bras that way. I sure don’t, and I’m no contortionist.

I don’t know any woman who uses that so-called “quintessentially feminine move.” I haven’t met every bra-wearing woman on the planet, but I’ve been in enough women’s locker rooms, from high school till now, to know that’s not how it’s done.

It’s much easier for women to slip our arms out of the straps, then drag the bra around to the front and unhook it where we can see the hooks. Some of us even manage this maneuver with our shirts on.

So why does the blind bra-unhooker persist in novels and movies? In movie after movie, and book after book, the babe reaches around back to unhook. And we put up with these blatant falsies.

Why can’t men get these scenes right? Why are they so hooked on this scenario?

Can I ask a personal question, dudes? Have you actually been with a woman who took off her own bra? Did you watch how she did it?

Or has this erotic lingerie fantasy overpowered your reason and regard for the facts?

If you still want that hot sex scene, here are two suggestive suggestions:

front closure

(1) The woman wears a front closure bra – hot, quick, easy.

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(2) The woman wears no bra at all – she’s already fully liberated.

If you want women to take your writing seriously, gentlemen, get the facts right – starting at the top.

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For more information about lingerie — and a killer mystery, win AN UPLIFTING MURDER, my sixth Josie Marcus Mystery Shopper Mystery. Click Contests at www.elaineviets.com

An Uplifting Murder

Paid Book Reviews

Nancy J. Cohen

There’s a disturbing trend toward paid reviews. Indie authors may have a difficult time getting their books reviewed, so this is an option for them. But it’s an issue for any traditionally published author who wishes to get more critical reviews for their new release, aside from the places where their publisher has sent advance reading copies. Here are some sites I’ve heard of but am by no means recommending. Do the research on your own.

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Kirkus Indie Reviews: https://www.kirkusreviews.com/author-services/indie/ costs $425. You can submit 2 print copies or a digital submission.

Publishers Weekly: At a site called Book Life, you can register your title and decide what services you want, i.e. getting your book reviewed or help with marketing. http://booklife.com/ It appears to be free, but marketing services are available. http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/diy/index.html

RT Book Reviews: This magazine offers a paid service for $425 through RT Review Source: http://www.rtreviewsource.com/

Net Galley: $399 for a six month title listing, or $599 for a listing along with a spot in their newsletter. https://netgalley.uservoice.com/knowledgebase/articles/105722-do-you-work-with-individual-authors . Here your book might attract the attention of librarians, booksellers, reviewers and bloggers.

Edelweiss: If you’re traditionally published, ask if your book is listed at Edelweiss. This is where booksellers and librarians go to browse and place orders. Reviewers can request digital ARCs there too. Publishers pay for listings. The pricing for the catalog is based on the number of titles the publisher plans to feature in a year. An administrative fee is also charged annually for this service. In addition, there’s a digital review service that publishers can participate in either separately or along with the catalog listing. http://edelweiss.abovethetreeline.com/HomePage.aspx

Choosy Bookworm: http://authors.choosybookworm.com/book-reviews/ . For $99, they hint you might get 30 interested readers who will post reviews but no guarantees.

Nerdy Girls Book Reviews: http://nerdygirlbookreviews.com/authors/ Their basic package is $49 for 30-35 reader reviews.

Chanticleer Book Reviews cost $325: http://www.chantireviews.com/book-reviews/

Of course, you have many other options. Go on a blog tour where the hosts offer reviews. Do giveaways on Goodreads and LibraryThing and hope that the winners post their consumer reviews. Or buy inexpensive ads where a review might be part of the package. It’s not easy to attract the big guns but you can still get bloggers on your side.

How do you feel about paid reviews?

First Page Critique: INDELIBLE

Shuttertstock photo purchased by TKZ

Shutterstock photo purchased by TKZ

We’re critiquing a first page submission today, called INDELIBLE. I’ll add my comments at the end, and then please add your feedback for the writer.

INDELIBLE

“I would rather die a thousand deaths.”

​A short silence followed as Theny’s words fell between them.

Hard.

Like an ice-skating buffalo.

​“Good.” A pause . “I hope you realize I can make that happen.”

​Through squinted eyes, Theny Carlisle slid a sullen sideways glance over at the woman threatening her from the driver’s seat of the Caravan. And for the briefest of moments, Theny mentally ticked through the list of all the things she really didn’t know about her mother’s life before she’d been domesticated. Susannah Carlisle’s meek appearance could fool most anyone, making her the next-to-last person one might expect to make such threats. Petite with large doe-eyes and flowing brown hair, Theny thought her mom looked faintly…Amish.

Minus the bonnet.

Or the dress.

But with make-up.

Oh—and a tattoo.

On her neck.

Of a skull.

Driving a minivan.

Okay…Maybe not so much Amish.

​“You don’t know what it’s like, Mom,” Theny huffed and took to her iPhone.

​“Oh, don’t I? I think you’ve forgotten that I, too, was in high school once.”

​“Mom—seriously. You’re such a f…” Theny managed to catch the word ‘fossil’ right before it slid off the end of her tongue. She was in deep enough doo-doo as it was.

​“I’m such a what?”

​Theny swallowed, paused. “You’re such a…a…f-fine public speaker. So you wouldn’t understand.”

​With her thumbs poised over the phone’s screen, Theny gasped as her mother reached over from the driver’s seat and grabbed the phone from her death grip. Where had she honed such cat-like reflexes? The woman was quick. Impressive. Like a greased cheetah.

“PLEASE text me…so bored…riding shotgun with…the Fossil…,” Susannah read with the device propped on the steering wheel, seemingly unfazed by the F-word.

​“Hey—no texting and driving, Mom. Remember…‘It can wait.’”

“You are giving that speech, Betheny Jane Carlisle. And that’s final.”

“Speech? We could have died just then,” Theny scowled out the windshield.

​“Well then,” Susannah said with an evil grin, tucking the confiscated device into her shirt pocket. “I guess that’d be one down, nine-hundred-ninety-nine to go.”​

“Wha—?”

​“And I quote—‘I’d rather die a thousand deaths’—End quote.”

Theny sighed and let her head fall back against the headrest. It rolled to the right and smacked the rider-side-window. “Admit it, Mom,” she mumbled with her cheek pressed to the glass. “You were Mafioso before you met Dad.”

My comments:

This first page has some notable strengths–I like the strong sense of the young girl’s voice, and the equally strong opposing voice of the mother’s character. Other aspects of the scene had me a bit confused.

Where the heck are we?

The unusual name “Theny,” plus the reference to the mother’s character as having been “domesticated” made me think we’re reading a scene from a dystopian story set in  the future. But then, other references, “iPhone,” “Amish,” “(Dodge) Caravan,” undid that first assumption, leaving me feeling confused. Where (and when) are we, exactly, in this scene?

Keep every stimulus with its corresponding reaction

This scene starts off with the phrase, “I’d rather die a thousand deaths.” We have no idea what that dialogue refers to until much later, when the mother finally says, “You are giving that speech…” And even then, we have to surmise the implied association. Overall, this is a confusing setup. By the time the reader figures out what these characters are talking about, she may have lost interest. Keep every stimulus in your story closely associated with its corresponding reaction (you can also think in terms of keeping every cause with its associated effect). In this scene, we wander all over the place (the lengthy descriptions of the mother, tattoo, dress, makeup, etc.) before we learn what the heck these two characters are arguing about.

Don’t let readers make wrong assumptions

What kind of speech are the characters discussing in this scene? We need to get that information as early as possible, as well as a sense of why Theny is resisting the idea of giving the speech. Readers tend to “fill in” missing information by making their own assumptions. (For example, I assumed Theny is supposed to give a valedictorian address, but that assumption may be wrong.)  Don’t let readers wander down a wrong path by withholding specific information that they need to know. (Another example of this is when a writer introduces a character without physical specifics, and later refers to her as a brunette. That would be jarring to readers who had “filled in” the specifics by visualizing her with blonde hair.)

Use appropriate language for each character

I liked the way the daughter’so dialogue is written–it seems appropriate for a character in her teens. But then, when the daughter’s thoughts describe her mother, the language seems to belong to a much older speaker. “Honed..cat-like reflexes.” “Greased cheetah.” (“Greased cheetah” didn’t work for me, in general, btw. Nor did “ice skating buffalo”.)

Avoid confusing interruptions and transitions

I got lost during the back and forth about the iPhone and texting. For example, when I first read “Theny took to her iPhone”, I didn’t understand until rereading that she had started writing a text message. Then we have an interjection of dialogue from Susannah, “PLEASE text me..” without establishing a sense that it is now Susannah who is speaking. When you shift gears from one character to another, you need to make sure the reader stays with you.

A minor note: I also got thrown by the “F” word discussion. “Fossil” seems a very tame “F” word for Theny to be worried about using.

Overall

I sense the development of strong characters and an interesting story in this first page. Avoid unnecessary distractions, and keep going! And thanks to our brave writer for submitting this page for review!

Do you have feedback for today’s writer? Please add your thoughts in the Comments.