Tag Archives: Happiness

Formula for Happiness

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I heard “formula for happiness” in a movie last week. Speaking as someone who went through an honest life review in my mid-fifties and left a 27-year marriage a year later, a formula for happiness piqued my interest, not because I’m unhappy—quite the opposite; leaving was the best decision I ever made—but because I wondered if a psychologist, scientist, or researcher found evidence to back up their claim of a happiness formula.

Sure enough, I found quite a few studies. Don’t you love it when fiction writers use factual information as a jumping off point?

I decided to write about this subject after a longtime-reader-turned-friend reached out to say my choice to start over gave her the courage to leave her 32-year loveless marriage. Six months later, she’s now content, happy, and loving life again. We had a deep discussion about why too many men and women stay in marriages that don’t work anymore. It’s easy to stay. It takes real courage to leave, especially after decades together.

At the time, I remember my husband said, “Why leave? We don’t even fight.” It’s true, we didn’t. Neither of us cared enough to fight. Rather than hurt him with that fact, I said, “Someday, you’ll thank me for this. I’m setting us both free.” Less than a year later, he did thank me.

That said, along with opening and closing multiple chapters in my life, I feel I have something to contribute to the subject of happiness.

First, let’s look at the studies.

According to long-term findings shared via The Atlantic, Harvard scholar Arthur C. Brooks relies on behavioral shifts rather than accumulating possessions for happiness. He believes we should:

  • Love people instead of using them.
  • Use things instead of loving them.
  • Stay physically and socially engaged to protect our health and manage stress.

I agree with the first two. I also believe staying physically active contributes to happiness. Socially engaging with people every day? No, thank you. Humans wear me out. I’ve always been a happy loner. 😉 I surround myself with animals, nature, and a chosen few close friends/family. But socially engaging every single day? Nope, not for me. I cherish my alone time.

Equations for Happiness

Happiness = Results/Expectations

Meaning, focus on lowering expectations and how you measure outcomes. I’ve said many times writers should celebrate small victories i.e., hitting a word count, completing a chapter, or writing your Nifty Fifty (winking at you, JSB!). Celebrate hitting milestones, rather than stressing about writing the entire book. Also, keep expectations in check. Penning one novel won’t make you an overnight success. Writing is a marathon, not a sprint.

Happiness = Smiles – Frowns

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak believes we should minimize complaints, arguments, and avoidable stress. I read another study that said smiling, singing, and dancing automatically induces happiness. And it’s true!

Enjoyment + Satisfaction + Meaning = Happiness

Meaning, break down happiness into active joy, accomplished goals, and a deeper sense of purpose. Enjoyment, in this context, is not a synonym for pleasure. Harvard Business School professor, Dr. Arthur Brooks, suggests, “The most miserable people pursue pleasure and stop there.” But pleasure is usually a component of enjoyment, nonetheless.

Enjoyment = Pleasure + Communion + Consciousness

Haven’t you found this to be true? We tend to enjoy pleasurable experiences more when we share them with someone else. Also, faith in a higher power (or whatever you believe in) plays a role in happiness.

Satisfaction = Haves vs. Wants

Brooks recommends a “want less” strategy, rather than “have more.” Serial consumption often has the opposite effect of fueling our wants, thereby shrinking our satisfaction. He also recommends a “reverse bucket list.” Meaning, write down the things we strive for but don’t need to be happy. It’s healthy to have goals, but if you don’t reach them (yet), that’s okay. Accept it and move on. Persevere. We learn more from failure than we do from victory.

Writer Scott H. Young’s Modern Rules for Happiness

(my comments are in magenta)

Embrace Life Seasons.

Accept unchangeable factors while maximizing current opportunities.

Is he talking about aging? If so, aging is part of life, yes. Accept it and move on.

Strive vs. Achieving

View the process of striving as energizing, while recognizing that hitting a fixed goal is often overrated.

Disagree. Hitting a goal should be celebrated. It is not overrated. It feels wonderful. Do we need to hit goals to be happy? No, of course not. Perhaps that’s what he means.

Meet others more than halfway.

Overcome natural human self-obsession through outreach.

I’ve never thought of myself as “self-obsessed,” but I understand the gist of this. It’s better to give than to receive.

Apologize and forgive often.

Use frequent apologies and forgiveness to prevent small conflicts from turning into long feuds.

Disagree. The phrase “I’m sorry” is so overused it’s lost all meaning. How about living without doing things you need to apologize for? If you do hurt someone, show them how awful you feel and try to fix it, rather than tossing out a  meaningless apology.

Also, I don’t believe we should “forgive and forget” just to avoid conflict. If someone harms you, don’t be a doormat. Stand up for yourself. You matter just as much as they do. Afterward, yes, let it go. Life’s too short to hold on to anger and/or resentment.

Stop consuming enraging media.

Cut out toxic media streams driven by engagement algorithms designed to make you angry.

100% Agree.

Look for small novelties.

Actively search for tiny joys and moments of novelty in daily life.

100% Agree.

Exercise a psychological choice.

Remember that how you interpret events is a choice, which helps reduce feelings of helplessness.

100% Agree.

The Happiness Pie Chart

According to psychological research studies, like the “happiness pie chart,” 50% of our happiness comes from our genetics (our baseline “set point”) and 40% comes from our intentional activities, thoughts, and attitudes. Together, these two internal factors account for 90% of our overall happiness.

The Breakdown of the 90%:

  • Genetics (50%): Our biological “set point” inherited from our parents, which dictates how we naturally bounce back from triumphs and setbacks.
  • Intentional Activities & Mindset (40%): Our daily choices, how we process the world, gratitude, and relationships.
  • Life Circumstances (10%): External factors like our income, job, marital status, or where we live account for only a small fraction of our overall well-being.

For me, this breakdown makes perfect sense. My mother wore a constant warm smile, viewed the world through rose-colored glasses (pardon all the cliches in this post!), and never uttered a cross word about anyone. And my brother and I have always been inherently happy people. No matter what life throws at us, we bounce back and rarely, if ever, complain about anything or anyone.

What if you don’t have “happy” genetics?

Don’t worry, you are not doomed. Modern science added a vital caveat to the 50% rule: genes are not a rigid destiny. While you may inherit a specific genetic predisposition, your lifestyle choices and mindset act as environmental switches—a field known as epigenetics. For more on this caveat, visit Neuroscience News.

7 Tips for a Happy Life

  1. Let go of the past. Don’t allow old mistakes to dictate your present or future.
  2. Focus on things within your control. Ignore the rest.
  3. Practice daily gratitude. Appreciate life’s splendor, like sunrises, sunsets, the moon, fall foliage, a warm breeze, snow-kissed trees, birdsong…I could go on and on. In other words, be thankful for another day. None of us know how many we have left.
  4. Prioritize physical and mental health. Maintain proper sleep, nutrition, and exercise.
  5. Surround yourself with positive people. Protect your peace from toxic environments.
  6. Keep learning. Maintain curiosity and personal growth.
  7. Live in the moment. Practice mindfulness instead of dwelling on the past or future.

One last interesting nugget I uncovered…

The U-Shaped Happiness Curve

According to psychological studies across 130+ countries, people typically start adulthood relatively cheerful, hit a significant emotional low point in midlife (between 47 – 50 y.o.), and then experience a major happiness rebound later in life. Globally, life satisfaction climbs at a steady pace after age 50 and peeks at 70.

Over to you, TKZers. Thoughts? Let’s discuss.

What MasterClass Can Do For A Writer

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Most writers constantly try to improve their craft. Whether you write thrillers, mystery, romance, sci-fi, dystopian, non-fiction, web content, blogs or whatever, you always feel your work can be better. At least that’s what goes on in my mind.

I like to say I’m a life-long learner. I’ve gone to school for sixty-four years and still don’t know what I’m going to be when I grow up. Maybe that’s why I’m hooked on watching MasterClass.

What’s MasterClass, you ask? Well, it’s “an American online education platform on which students can access tutorials and lectures pre-recorded by experts in various fields’. (I didn’t write that line. I copied and pasted it from Wikipedia.)

No underhanded plagiarism intended, though, as I believe MasterClass is the most helpful and professional resource that’s hit the net. It started as an idea floated between David Rogier and Aaron Rasmussen in 2014. They formed Yanka Industries Inc. and published their first MasterClass on May 12, 2015. Within the first few months, they signed over 30,000 subscribers,

MasterClass snagged a big fish for their first day in the derby. James Patterson, one of the world’s top-selling thriller writers, opened the show. I was among the first with a front-row seat, popcorn, and a drink. Since then, I’ve taken 21 MasterClasses in subjects ranging from writing to film production to cooking to motivation to science. You could say I’m a master class junkie.

If you’re not familiar with the MasterClass format, let me give you a brief introduction before we take a close look at how James Patterson’s thriller writing MasterClass unfolds. I truly believe subscribing to MasterClass and getting a wide exposure to A-List resources can do a lot for you as a writer. You’ll take your craft to the next level as well as increase your confidence, amplify your motivation, and create satisfaction (i.e. happiness).

Nothing in a MasterClass production is amateurish or cheesy. Their course material is audience appropriate and their film works rival anything you’ll see on Netflix. From the instructor’s poise to the perfect setting, you’ll fall under the MasterClass spell and stick to it through each session. Qualification—that’s as long as you’re passionate about the subject.

A typical MasterClass runs between 15 and 25 sessions. The segments range in time from 3-minute intros to more than 20-minute lessons. That makes for a class series of blocks at around 3 to 5 hours of total film time. It depends on the subject and the presenter.

There are three parts to a MasterClass production. One is the on-camera time where the presenter lectures and/or demonstrates. Two is a PDF workbook that acts as a script guide and notebook. Three is behind-the-scene access to material that adds value to your purchase.

Speaking of purchase, MasterClass has two fees. One is $90 for a single class. Two is $180 annually for an “All Pass”. For under two hundred bucks, you can buy an unlimited subscription that gives you access to all classes. Given there are well over 50 classes, that’s an exceptional value.

To say MasterClass recruits knowledgeable instructors is an understatement. These are the best-of-the-best in their field, and the MasterClass producers know that success sells. Like the promise in Steven Covey’s The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, MasterClass delivers on the logic that successful people have it figured out, so be more like them.

I’ve swallowed the MasterClass KoolAid as you can tell from the tone of this piece. I make no apologies that I believe watching a MasterClass can do one thing for you, as a writer, above all else. I’ll tell you at the end, but first I want to list some MasterClasses I’ve watched and highly recommend to other writers.

James Patterson — Thriller Writing
Dan Brown — Thriller Writing
David Baldacci — Thriller Writing
Neil Gaiman — Storytelling
Malcolm Gladwell — General Writing
Joyce Carol Oates — Fiction Writing
Margaret Atwood — Fiction Writing
R.L. Stine — Children’s Writing
Judy Blume — Fiction Writing
David Mamet — Plot Writing
Aaron Sorkin — Screen Writing
Shondra Rimes — TV Writing
Ron Howard — Film Directing
Martin Scorsese — Film Producing
Bob Woodward — Journalism

My MasterClass interests go outside of what information I can glean on writing. Chris Hadfield’s class on space exploration is out of this world and Gordon Ramsey taught me how to make the best scrambled eggs without swearing at the stove. Wolfgang Puck? Excellent show. So was Annie Leibowitz on photography.

I’ll stop with name-naming. I want to take you inside an actual MasterClass, and I can think of no more applicable class for the Kill Zone bunch than James Patterson’s. Here’s his MasterClass curriculum taken from the show’s PDF.

01 Introduction: Your instructor, James Patterson—currently the best-selling author in the world—lets you know what he has planned for your class and what you’ll need to learn to start writing your own best-sellers.

02 Passion + Habit: Getting into the proper mindset is an essential first step to writing a best-seller. This lesson explores James’s secrets for staying focused, productive, and motivated.

03 Raw Ideas: How do you recognize a great idea? How do you figure out if it’s worthy of your effort? James spells out the techniques he uses to generate his ideas and then separate the good ones from the less compelling ones.

04 Plot: With the right plot, your reader won’t be able to stop turning the pages. In this lesson, James measures out his unique approach to developing plot lines that keep readers wanting more.

05 Research: For James, conducting in-depth research not only makes his writing better, it also boosts his credibility with his readers. Find out when and how James conducts his research and how he incorporates it into his writing in a thoughtful way.

06 Outlines — Part 1: James’ secret weapon is a comprehensive outline. Learn how he sets himself up for a fast and successful first draft. No matter what, don’t skip this lesson!

 07 Outlines — Part 2: James has never shown the outline for his best-seller Honeymoon to anyone (not even his publisher) until now. Follow along with the outline provided in your Class Workbook as James further explains his process.

08 Writer’s Block: Even when you’ve written as many books as James has (76 best sellers and counting), there’s still nothing scarier than staring at the blank page. Here’s how to conquer those fears.

09 Creating Characters: From Alex Cross to Michael Bennett, James has mastered the art of creating complex and memorable characters. Hero to villain, learn how to make your character stay with your reader well beyond the last page.

10 First Lines: Grab your reader’s attention quickly and make them hold on for dear life. James shares his tips for getting your reader hooked from the very first line.

11 Writing Dialogue: Dialogue should always push the story forward. Listen to James explain a few common dialogue pitfalls and easy ways to avoid them.

12 Building A Chapter: James is well known for his numerous short and snappy chapters. Learn how he propels the reader through the book with an outline as his roadmap.

13 Writing Suspense: The secret to suspense is…

14 Ending The Book: We’ve all read great books with terrible endings. Of the infinite possible endings, learn how James chooses the right one.

15 Editing: James is liberal with a red pen; his editing is key to keeping the reader engaged. Learn how to trim the fat with our interactive editing assignment.

16 Working With A Co-Author: When does James decide to use a co-author and is it a true collaboration? In this lesson, we meet two of his most trusted co-authors who share their process for making a collaboration truly successful.

17 Getting Published: Author of 76 best-sellers and holder of the Guinness World Record for the first person to sell over 1 million eBooks, James knows a thing or two about getting published. In this lesson, he shares what he’s learned.

18 Book Titles And Covers: Readers do judge books by their covers. What should they think about yours?

19 Marketing The Patterson Way: Before publishing his first book, James was an executive at a top ad agency in New York. Find out what James learned from his time in advertising and how he used it to change the book marketing game.

20 Hollywood: What happens when Hollywood takes an interest in your story? Sit back and listen as James shares the best and worst moments from his time on the set.

21 Personal Story: Every master begins as a student. James shares his long, winding path to becoming the world’s best-selling author.

22 Closing: You’ve been given the tools to help write your next book. Now what?

It’s hard to say the main takeaway, but I’d have to say it’s how much James Patterson stresses about outlining your work before starting the overall draft. He’s a plotter, through & through. Me? I’m more of a pantster, but I’m not here to argue with James Patterson’s success.

Nor do I dispute the amazing success following the names Brown, Baldacci, Gaiman, Attwood, Blume, Oates, Sorkin, and so on. These are top-caliber craftspeople. But as I watched their personalities unfold on the screen, I got the distinct impression these are not born-on-third-base people. They’re self-made professionals.

This realization made me think. If they can make it, maybe I can, too. So I looked for common denominators running through each class and what their experiences presented in their MasterClasses can do for a writer. Here’s what I found.

All presenters say there’s no set formula for success—no magic bullet.

There are processes to follow and there are principles to follow. However, each success story comes from trying new things and finding what works for the individual.

All presenters find the story.

They intimately understand their craft whether it’s fiction writing, screenwriting, directing and producing films, cooking, or flying a starship. In the spine of every success, there’s a story. A successful story they made happen by improving their craft.

All presenters do the work.

They didn’t slide into home from third. Most, if not all, struck out many times before they got a line-drive to first base never mind cracked it over the Green Monster. These MasterClass writers sat alone with their sore butts in the chair and their blistered fingers on the keys for a long, long time. They did the work.

All presenters have critics.

They get 1-Stars on Amazon and rotten tomatoes thrown at them. It goes with the game, and they grow tough hide. They learn from valid criticism, they trashcan the trolls, and many no longer bother to read their reviews.

All presenters have passion.

Some MasterClass instructors say this directly. With some, passion naturally flows from their style. Their words, their body language, their dress, and their demeanor show it. Everything about them oozes passion—controlled passion—and it infectiously slides onto the student.

Gordon Ramsay says, “Find a passion because everything else falls into place once you’ve got that track set.” Chris Hadfield’s quote is this. “Every single step you take in the direction of your dreams is one that will make you happier and more satisfied with yourself.” I think the space-man sends a universal message.

I’m passionate about writing. I know that improving my craft by watching MasterClass leads to greater satisfaction and happiness. And, I believe that’s what Masterclass can, above all else, do for you as a writer—make you feel happy.

*   *   *

Garry Rodgers is a retired RCMP homicide detective. He went on to a second career as the person no one wants an appointment with — a coroner. Garry’s business card used to say, “When Your Day Ends, My Day Starts”. His boss made him get rid of it.

Since then, Garry Rodgers reinvented himself as a crime writer who constantly strives to improve his craft and find satisfaction through indie-publishing electronic words. Garry also finds happiness by putting around the saltwater near his home on Vancouver Island in British Columbia on Canada’s Pacific coast.