Category Archives: the writing life

Embracing Change

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by Clare Langley-Hawthorne

New year! New decade! and 100 years since the date I set my first book (yes, that would be 1910)… So I’m figuring it’s probably a good time to consider embracing change – not that I’m a stick in the mud (like Winston Churchill I believe there’s nothing wrong with change so long as it’s in the right direction) but I do like to know how things turn out (which, of course, is impossible). I’m a great one for worrying about the not-so good changes (pointless I know), so this year I’m going to throw off my shackles and embrace uncertainty and change in all aspects of my life (yes, really…)
I met most of last year’s resolutions after all – I did grow my hair long (and then cut it all off in horror at what I looked like); I learned how to ride a bike (my husband bought me one for Christmas so my fate is sealed) and I did lose weight (although after eating my way through the holidays my bum is now exponentially larger…sigh). My writing resolution (put the writing first!) fell a bit by the wayside – but then with twin five-year old boys I guess what else can I expect! I completed two books and am three-quarters of the way through a third…so not too bad…(though on the publishing end of it, 2009 was bit of a dud).

I’m reminded of a quotation from Washington Irving that I think I may adopt for the year:

“There is certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse! As I have often found in traveling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one’s position, and be bruised in a new place.”

I know that 2010 is going to be year of change – and so I am going to focus my efforts on trying to adapt as best I can. I shall shift my position in the stagecoach and see how it feels:)
I have ideas for lots of new books (even I need a break from Edwardian England sometimes) and I am completing a short story as well…so maybe I’ll even foray a few more times into this medium (or maybe not…let’s see…)
So forget resolutions – let’s just accept the inevitability of change and fess up – what kind of change will you be embracing this year?

What, Writers Worry?

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by James Scott Bell

In light of last week’s post about how “bleak” November seemed to many fiction writers, I thought I’d reflect a little on worry. Writers, after all, really have no cause to worry about anything, right?

I mean, putting aside anxiety over whether they’ll ever get an agent, get published, sell enough to stay published, or if they do get published will they get stink bomb reviews; or wondering if they are real writers or only massive frauds, or if they are doing too little self-promotion, or too much; concerns over whether they’re putting undue strain on their marriages or other close relationships; and getting migraines wondering what the future of publishing will look like – discounting all that, writers really have no reason to worry at all.

But, given that some do (I’ve actually met a few of them), I should like to offer two ways to deal with this mental malady: drugs and Bell’s MO (not to be confused with Phillips MO, which offers relief of another kind entirely).

First, drugs. Luckily for writers, pharmaceutical companies have been on the job to develop several treatments for all manner of writerly concerns. Among the most popular are:

Damitol – relieves symptoms associated with wanting to chuck the whole writing thing. Side effects may include cursing, smashing things and inordinate sobbing. Should not be taken by nursing mothers and church deacons.

Agenex – Controls blood pressure when you have to fire your agent. Side effects may include obsession with the number 15.

Bombasic – makes you think you’re charming when drunk (Hemingway reportedly was in a research group for this drug). Side effects may include social opprobrium, intense morning headaches and regret.

Tuborin – alerts you to long sections in your manuscript without conflict.

Promotia – help overcome depression when you discover how much your publisher is paying for marketing.

Noloft – take this if your book fails to make a bestseller list.

Paynaise – Prevents the onset of angst associated with two-figure royalty checks.

Ripitor – normalizes the nervous system after you’ve read a horrible review.

Okay, not everyone is into pharmaceuticals — and recreational drugs are definitely off limits — so I offer an alternative. Call this my own, personal modus operandi for dealing with writer worry. It will work for you if you follow these steps:

1. Take a moment to note the benefits of your worry. You are engaged. You are alive. You have blood coursing through your veins. You are not a chair.

2. Remind yourself of the truth handed down by a wise Jewish carpenter, who once said, “Who by worrying can add one cubit to his span of life?” IOW, worry does absolutely no good regarding future outcomes and you know that. Tell yourself over and over until it sinks in.

3. Now, figure out what’s the worst thing that can happen if you don’t get your desired result. Let’s say you’re waiting to hear about a submission to Penguin. What’s the worst? You get rejected by Penguin. That’s it. (Do not let your imagination run away with you. The very worst thing that can happen is that the acquisitions editor is so angry at your abuse of literature she hires a hit man to take you out. I mean, be reasonable).

4. Next, write down all the ways you can come back strong if the worst thing happens. You got rejected by Penguin. How do you come back from that? You can a) submit elsewhere; b) prepare another project; c) rework the current project according to feedback; d) schedule a talk with your agent; e) study some aspect of the craft you’re weak on. And so forth.

5. After going through steps 3 and 4, tell yourself that you can live with the worst thing. If it happens, it’s not going to debilitate you. It’s not going to stop you. Determine to accept the worst if it happens.

Shameless bonus tip: Read chapters 15 & 16 of The Art of War for Writers, which has more about conquering writer’s worry.

There is still one more step to go, to keep the worry from creeping back up on you. And that is – you know what’s coming –write.

Writing is the best antidote to any worries about writing. When you’re into the page, when the story is coming out, you haven’t got space for any of that anxiety stuff.

Write a short story. Write an opening chapter that you make up on the spot – and see if you have something here that sparks a novel. Write an essay or a diatribe. Start your memoirs. Write a blog entry or well thought out comment for someone else’s blog. Write a character biography.

Do writing exercises, like morning pages. Download Dr. Wicked’s reasonably priced Write or Die program, and then . . . write or die.

Life is too short, and your window for writing too narrow, for you to let worries hang you up. So don’t let them.

Is worry a big problem for you? How do you handle it? Feel free to leave an anonymous comment if you wish to be more open than your public persona is comfortable with.

Thanksgiving Day Bravery

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by Clare Langley-Hawthorne

Having just spent a great Thanksgiving in LA (despite the horrible traffic) I have returned re-motivated. Why? Because my friend Charysse gave me a much needed boost. In a recent work evaluation she had to list the ten people she would most want to have at a dinner party and I was one of the chosen. While this was nice and all – it was her reason for choosing me that caused a lump to form in my throat. She said she had told her boss it was because I was one of the bravest people she knew. Now I’m no courageous Clare that’s for sure – I’m terrified of heights, wimpy about woods (there’s bears out there you know) and squeamish about virtually everything – but I was, in my friend’s estimation, brave because I chose to ‘lay it all out there’ – abandoning my successful career in pursuit of a dream and risking all in the process. Her support brought tears to our eyes and it made me realize (as it was Thanksgiving after all) how thankful I am for so many things…Yes, here’s where it gets soppy (and I have to admonish my fellow Killzoners – where was the obligatory ‘what are we thankful for’ post last week?! Hey, I adopted this country for these kinds of celebrations!)

So here’s my top 5 things that I’m thankful for:

  1. My family (obviously) – you gotta love two five year old boys who manage to make it in the car to LA (and the three hour traffic jam we encountered Wednesday when we arrived) without watching even one DVD…

  2. That I still have an agent (he hasn’t abandoned me yet, at least I don’t think so…)

  3. That I still LOVE to write (despite the publishing industry’s best efforts…)

  4. That I get such great support from friends, family, fellow writers and fans so that even in the bleakest of November moods I can see a glimmer of hope.

  5. That I finally had my hair cut.

Okay, the last one may seem trivial but believe me I needed it! I’ve been growing my hair all year (see New Year’s resolution post) only to discover that (surprise, surprise) I hated it. Not only did my husband think it made me look older (yes, it’s a miracle sometimes that we’re still married) but I also never had the time to style it into any pseudo-Edwardian glory. I have to admit, as much as I might want to channel Ursula in my life, I need a maid to be able to do so…otherwise I’m just another boring old mum with her hair in a pony tail. Now, of course, post-hair cut, I’m the chic, youthful, cool mum with the gorgeous 1920’s bob:)

But enough about me…what are you thankful for?

PS: In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I’d also like to invite all killzoners to help out Basil Sands in his quest to name his blog radio show. He’s offering $25 if you suggest the name he ends up using, and for those of you who regularly read the comments you know he is hilarious (so his show is bound to be great!). You can visit his website: http://www.basilsands.com/ for more details.

Will Arrogance Get You Published?

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by James Scott Bell

Let’s talk about arrogance. Because I say so.

We’ve all noticed an uptick in the arrogance factor in society. New York Times opinion writer David Brooks made it the subject of a recent column, stating in part:

When you look from today back to 1945, you are looking into a different cultural epoch, across a sort of narcissism line. Humility, the sense that nobody is that different from anybody else, was a large part of the culture then. But that humility came under attack in the ensuing decades. Self-effacement became identified with conformity and self-repression. A different ethos came to the fore, which the sociologists call “expressive individualism.”

Now, in one sense, “expressive individualism” is what we do as writers. We are boldly sharing part of ourselves, and should do so confidently. But here’s the thing: this confidence should be evident in our pages alone. When it’s off the page and in people’s faces, “expressive individualism” can too easily become slap-deserving arrogance.

There are so many examples of arrogance in culture today. Perhaps the most notable in the last few weeks was Kanye West deciding he could interrupt Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the MTV VMA awards. Taking Swift’s microphone, and moment, West extolled the merits of another nominee in front of a national television audience. Why? Because of “expressive individualism” gone awry.

So the idea that it’s all about me and I will make you admit it is part of the zeitgeist, just another move you make to get what you want.

And it’s filtering down like an acid drip into the world of aspiring writers. When I speak at writers conferences I am gratified that most people seem eager to learn and determined to grow. But there has been an increase in those who think that having a chip on their shoulders is an essential part of their campaign to get published.

It’s isn’t.

True, there are some people who are arrogant and who do get published. But they get published in spite of arrogance, not because of it. They get published because they can actually write.

But for the large majority of the new arroganti, such behavior is not going to get them closer to a contract. It will, in fact, hinder their chances.

Confidence, on the other hand, is good. And necessary. But there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. That line is something called professionalism.

A professional doesn’t waste another person’s time by overstaying his welcome.

A professional knows what someone – i.e., an agent or editor – is looking for, and delivers it in a precise manner.

A professional doesn’t follow up frustrations with nasty notes, diatribes, or slanderous blog posts. Nor tear down other writers who get published.

In other words, a true professional knows when to put a cork in it and get back to the business of learning to write better.

A professional will, over time, gain respect. That leaves doors open for future submissions.

The arrogant burn bridges and find doors slamming.

Arrogance talks smack. Confidence does its talking on the page.

So be bold, be confident, be “expressively individualistic,” but use that energy for the writing itself. Because even if you succeed while being arrogant, even if you land on the bestseller list, it will be a Pyrrhic victory. As writer Michael Bishop puts it, “One may achieve remarkable writerly success while flunking all the major criteria for success as a human being. Try not to do that.”

Old Fashioned Bum Glue

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by Clare Langley-Hawthorne

I’ve been feeling like a bit of a loser of late – perhaps it’s the summer (or the week off from preschool which placed me in writing limbo) – but my writing mojo feels a little dented so I’ve had to claw my way back from depression-dom to start the week off. The only way I know how to beat the writing blues – not a writing block mind you – but that plague of self-doubt that hits you at midnight and which follows you through the day – is to resort to an old-fashioned tried and true method. Bum Glue.

This means that I sit down and, no matter how crappy or disillusioned I feel, I write. What gets typed may be absolute drivel (and it often is at first) but I persevere. I sit down, keep my bum glued to the seat, and write.

Tonight, as I compose this blog, I am preparing myself for the challenge of a week of bum glue ahead of me. I am trying to shaking off the panic and the angst, trying to shove back the “I’m a loser” thoughts and getting ready to face my fears. As Jim so aptly wrote in his post yesterday, I just have to move up the pyramid and the only way to do that is to keep writing.

So does anyone have any pearls of wisdom for me as I take a deep breath, wriggle my behind, and prepare? How do you restore your spirits or reclaim your writing mojo? Or am I the only one who suddenly finds themselves in that deep pit looking up and wondering how to escape?

Any tips on getting the bum glue to stick?

Writer, This is Your Job

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by James Scott Bell

Some years ago I was teaching at a writers conference in New Mexico. After lunch I noticed one of the conferees sitting at a back table, looking distressed. I went over and asked her what was up.

“I don’t know,” she said. “Am I ever going to get anywhere? I see all these people, they all want it just as much as I do. How do I know if I’ll ever make it? ” Tears started down her cheeks.

I handed her a napkin for the tears, then took another and drew a pyramid on it. I divided the pyramid into six sections. Inside the pyramid are writers, I explained, with each section representing a different level of achievement.

The bottom, where most of the people are, is the realm of the “want to.” Or “I think I have a book inside me.” But outside of some scribblings, maybe a short story or two, perhaps an unfinished novel, these people never move on to the next level…

…which is where people like you are (I told her). Those who actually try to learn something about writing. Who buy writing books, go to conferences, take classes…and write.

Above that is the level for those who actually finish a full length novel. This is a great place to be. This is where real writers come from.

The next level holds those who write another novel, because the first one is probably going to be rejected. They do this because they are novelists, not just someone who happened to write a novel.

Next are those who get published. Above that those who are published multiple times.

Sitting on top of the pyramid is a Wheel of Fortune. This is where the breakout hits come from. The wheel goes around and lands on a book like Cold Mountain. Or The Da Vinci Code. Or Harry Potter.

No one can control this. No one know how to guarantee a hit, or it would be done every time out.

Your job, I told the young writer, is to keep moving up the pyramid. Each level presents its own challenges, so concentrate on those. As you move up, you’ll notice there are fewer people, not more. People drop out of the pyramid all the time. But if you work hard, you might get a novel on the wheel, and that’s as far as you can go on your own. After that it’s not up to you anymore.

The conference went on and I forgot all about this incident.

A couple of years later I bumped into her at another conference. She told me that this conversation and the diagram had a profound effect on her, and that she was going to keep going, and was finishing her first novel.

Two years after that she wrote to tell me she had landed a book deal. She is now a published author.

Writer, if you want to be published, if you want a hit book, don’t worry about things you cannot control. Don’t grasp at phantoms. Focus on the page right in front of you. Make it the best it can be, and build these pages into a book. And then another.

Keep climbing the pyramid.

That’s your job.

P.S. Adapted from the forthcoming The Art of War for Writers.

Regrets, I have but few…

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by Clare Langley-Hawthorne

My husband and I went and saw the inimitable Jackson Browne last week and it’s put me in a reflective frame of mind. Of course, the fact that Tim and I were some of the youngest fans in the audience didn’t help – but Jackson Browne has provided a very strange soundtrack to our lives. When I first met my husband he had one of those early cool portable CD players (hey, it was only 1987!) but to say I was aghast at his CD collection would be an understatement – I mean who else had The Eagles, Fleetwood Mac and Jackson Browne alongside Madonna? My tastes ran to New Order, the Violent Femmes and The Smiths so I was literally gobsmacked. I grew, however, to love Jackson Browne (The Eagles I’m afraid had to go…) and my husband’s love of his music provided new insight into him – who knew the preppy guy had an angst ridden 1970’s soul?
The concert has made me think about the nature of regret. I have to admit, even as I face down the dreaded four-zero in a few months, I don’t really have many regrets at all – and the ones I do seem pretty trivial in the context of my life. I certainly wish I had pursued my dream of being a writer earlier – but then I wouldn’t be the writer that I am now. I’m a strong believer that you stumble upon your own path – and I’m supremely grateful of the path I managed to find.
That being said, I do wish I’d been more savvy about the publishing industry when my first book came out. I would have definitely fought harder to change the cover for the hardback of Consequences of Sin (see exhibit A, on right). Although the paperback cover is fabulous (see exhibit B, on left) I still think the cover for the hardback irrevocably hurt sales and may have doomed me to Barnes & Noble (not to mention publishing) purgatory…

But it’s hard to have a clue when you’re first starting out – right??

I’m sure in a few years I’ll no doubt wish I had known now what I will know then, but I’m not going to lose any sleep over regrets (it is pretty pointless, after all), but regret, as Jackson Browne so often writes and sings about, is an important emotion. It is one that defines and shapes us, and when creating characters I think it’s important to explore not only their loves, hopes, and fears but also their regrets. In many ways our behavior is guided by regret in subtle but crucial ways – and I love getting under the skin of my characters in this way.

So what (if any) regrets do you have regarding your writing? Do your characters carry some of those same regrets? Do they have an angst ridden soundtrack to their lives or are they at peace with the path they (or rather you, as a writer) have chosen for them…?

Shake, Rattle and Write

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by James Scott Bell

On this date in 1977, Elvis left the building for good.

He was found face down in his bathroom at Graceland. The official cause of death was heart failure. He was forty-two years old.

Elvis immediately took up residence in the pantheon of pop culture icons. The Soviet newspaper Pravda announced that America could be thanked for three things: Mickey Mouse, Coca-Cola and Elvis Presley. A new industry – Elvis imitation – sprang up, bringing employment to thousands. In fact, everyone started doing Elvis, even around the office. How many times have you heard a fellow worker give the Thank you. Thank you very much line over some trivial favor?

Last month I went to a Dodger game with a friend. I thought it was just going to be baseball. But it was “Elvis night.” Elvis songs were featured between innings, and numerous fans were decked out in Elvis regalia—fake sideburns and sunglasses and big black wigs.

And every time the JumboTron showed one of these ersatz Elvises, the crowd would go wild.

Thirty-two years after his death.

A true American original, Elvis. Yeah, you kind of have to overlook the years he made such masterpieces as Harum Scarum and Change of Habit. And we all know his last years were not happy ones, on the concert stage or in his personal life.

But early on, moving and shaking, all that energy and appeal and singing ability, that was true Elvis. The Elvis who amazed Sam Phillips and blew away Roy Orbison, not to mention sixty million viewers of the Ed Sullivan Show. The Elvis poignantly recaptured in his 1968 “comeback” special.

There are no guarantees in the arts. But the ones who make it big usually do so by finding that spark of originality within them—that certain passion that ignites their creativity—and wedding it to a practical look at the commercial marketplace.

You want to sell? You have to do both. When you write, you should feel a little like 50’s Elvis. Shake it, go for broke. Give freedom to your voice and vision, the twins that make up the definition of originality. As Elvis put it in a 1956 interview, “Some people tap their feet, some people snap their fingers, and some people sway back and forth. I just sorta do ’em all together, I guess.”

To break through, you have to find out what it is you do well “together,” and do it for all it’s worth.

But you also need a little “Colonel” Tom Parker in you, understanding that publishing is indeed a business, and you are offering a product for consumers.

It’s an ongoing balancing act. You must never let your desire to be published drain you of your spirit and singularity (your inner Elvis). But if you want to be published by someone other than Kinko’s, you need market sense, too.

So how do you find the right mix in your own writing? Do you think about both sides of the equation early and often? Or does doing so get you all shook up?

Don’t be cruel. It’s now or never. Discuss.

Stay Thirsty

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I love a good ad campaign.

When I started running a small legal publishing business years ago, I had to teach myself advertising and marketing. I read some classics on the subject, such as How to Write a Good Advertisement by Victor O. Schwab and Tested Advertising Methods by John Caples.

My favorite, though, was Ogilvy on Advertising by the legendary ad man David Ogilvy. This volume made me appreciate what goes into successful ads, and just how hard they are to pull off.

So when I see a great ad campaign, I nod in approval. One of the best of all time has to be the “I’m a Mac, I’m a PC” series. It’s no accident that Mac’s market share has shot up in tandem with these ads. Smart, funny, short, well acted, superb.

But my current favorite is “The most interesting man in the world” campaign for Dos Equis. You’ve all seen it (and if you haven’t, you need to become more interesting by looking it up. You can start here).

A typical spot will feature “vintage film” of the man in various pursuits, while a narrator recites a few facts about him. Then we see him sitting in a bar surrounded by beautiful people. He looks into the camera and, in a slight Spanish accent, says, “I don’t always drink beer, but when I do I prefer Dos Equis.”

A few of my favorite “facts” about this man are:

• He lives vicariously through himself.

• He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.

• The police often question him, just because they find him interesting.

• He once taught a German shepherd to bark in Spanish.

And then, at the end of each ad, comes the man’s signature sign off: “Stay thirsty, my friends.”

What’s so good about this campaign?

It’s risky. Having a graying, middle aged man as the lead character is, as they say, counter programming.

It’s funny without trying too hard. The understated way the deep-voiced narrator extols the man’s legend is pitch perfect.

It has a complete backstory, revealed a little at a time in the mock film clips.

These are qualities of a good novel, too. Risky, in that it doesn’t repeat the same old; a bit of unforced humor is always welcome; and a backstory that renders characters real and complex without slowing down the narrative. All that we can learn from “the most interesting man in the world” campaign.

And from the man himself we can learn, as writers, to live life expansively and not just lollygag through our existence. Not waiting for inspiration but going after it, as Jack London once said, “with a club.” Believing, with Kerouac, in the “holy contour of life.”

We ought to be seekers as well as storytellers, a little mad sometimes, risking the pity and scorn of our fellows as we pursue the artistic vision. Then we park ourselves at the keyboard and strive to get it down on the page. Why go through it all? Because the world needs dreams rendered in words.

Writer, keep after it and someday this may be said of you as well: “His charisma can be seen from space. Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number.”

Stay thirsty, my friends.

Driving Dangerously

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James Scott Bell

Among the stranger headlines of last week was the following:

Man Driving with Snakes in His Pants Causes Multi-car Accident

According to one online source:

A man in Hartford, Connecticut caused a multi-car crash after he claimed two pet baby snakes escaped from his pants pockets . . .

Angel Rolon, 20, told police he lost control of his SUV when the snakes slithered near the gas and brake pedals. Rolon said as he and his passenger tried to catch them, the SUV veered into some parked cars and overturned. If he had a dash cam, like the ones that BlackBoxMyCar offer, he would have been able to capture this incident!

Animal control officers at the scene were unable to locate the snakes, and police have not confirmed Rolon’s story.

Rolon was treated at a hospital for unknown injuries. Police say they gave him a summons for reckless driving and other charges. One can only assume a criminal defense lawyer is going to be faintly amused if this case lands on their desk.

Now as I recall, my dad told me never to drive with alcohol in my blood or snakes in my pants. He was very emphatic about that. Doesn’t every kid learn this valuable lesson before taking the family car out for a spin?

“Remember, son, no drag racing and no legless reptiles in your Levis. Have you got that?”

“Yes, sir.”

“If you have any ectothermic squamate in your jeans while you’re behind the wheel, you’re grounded.”

“I understand, sir.”

In all candor, though, I must admit there is an application for fiction writers here. You see, writing a full length novel is very much like driving a car with snakes in your pants–you just never know what’s going to happen. You may start out with great intentions, but somewhere along the way some major slithering will take place. You may feel prepared to handle any eventuality, but when reptiles are loose around the gas pedal you could end up in a major collision or even needing to face the lawyer of someone you hit.

We all set off on our “drive” to write with some trepidation, knowing there will be inevitable setbacks, disappointments, even book-ending accidents. But that doesn’t stop us, if we really have the chops, the desire. You want to write, you write, snakes or no.

Is that true for you? Taking a cue from the hapless Hartford driver, what metaphor do you come up with for describing the crazy journey of writing a novel? Have at it.