We Become the Stories We Tell Ourselves

The idea for this post began with a quote attributed to Michael Cunningham in A Home at the End of the World

We become the stories we tell ourselves”

This is especially true of writers. If you tell yourself, “I’ll never find an agent” or “My writing isn’t good enough to score a publishing contract,” chances are you won’t. Why? Because you’ve adopted a negative mindset.

Same principal applies to, “I can only write on weekends.” If you tell yourself you can only write on weekends, you’re already making decisions about your ability to write Monday through Friday, so if you slip behind the keyboard on a weekday, it’ll be more difficult to write. You’ve handicapped your creativity with a fixed (negative) mindset.

We’ve discussed fixed vs. growth mindsets before. I want to revisit the Mental Game of Writing *shameless plug for JSB* from a different angle, because it’s not discussed enough in writers’ circles.

RAY EDWARD’S THOUGHT EXPERIMENT 

Imagine you’ve been given a treasure. This treasure, like all magical treasures, comes with conditions. While it’s an unlimited treasure, each day you can only take one gold coin. Just one. And every day you suffer from amnesia. When you forget you have this treasure, you lose a day of unlimited value.

How will you remind yourself to take the coin? Leave a note? Set an alarm? Phone a friend and ask them to remind you? How will you remember not to waste a single coin?

You already own this treasure. It’s called life. Consider this your reminder. Each new day offers endless possibilities, in life as well as writing. What will you do with your coin today? Will you squander it by scrolling through social media for hours? Or will you cash it in for its full value?

Look. We’re all guilty of procrastination from time to time. The trick is to prioritize your writing.

Every morning, I watch the sunrise. Not only does it inspire me, it grounds me with a positive mindset for the day. If you roll over and slap the snooze button, dreading the day ahead, you’ll start the day with a negative mindset. Things tend to roll downhill from there.

Have you ever heard a writer complain about being a lousy writer? That’s a fixed mindset. Their mind is made up. They will never write well. Period.

A growth mindset is positivity based. If that same writer said, “I may not be the best writer today, but I will be” they’ve flipped the script. Because now, they know if they continue to show up, they will improve.

See the difference?

The writer with the growth mindset is moving forward. The writer with the fixed mindset would rather complain about writing than study, hone, and implement their craft.

Writers aren’t the only ones who fall prey to a fixed mindset. It’s easy to do.

Do these excuses sound familiar?

  • Too much to do today. I’ll write tomorrow.
  • Can’t write now. I just worked an eight-hour shift.
  • Too tired to write.
  • Not in the mood to write today.
  • I’m not inspired.
  • I have writer’s block.

Every excuse is steeped in negativity, yet this is common rhetoric in the writing community.

Let’s pull back the veil on each one.

TOO MUCH TO DO TODAY — I’LL WRITE TOMORROW

When life shakes the to-do list in your face, it’s easy to avoid the keyboard. The problem is, tomorrow never comes. If you are a professional writer, or striving to become one, then you must prioritize your writing.

Can you carve out thirty minutes in your busy schedule today? How about fifteen? How about five? No one’s too busy to write a paragraph.

CAN’T WRITE NOW — JUST WORKED AN EIGHT-HOUR SHIFT 

Writers all over the world work a full-time day job. Lee Child wrote his first novel during his commute to and from work. If you’re driving, can you dictate into your phone? Hands-free, please! I don’t want to cause any accidents.

Or write on your phone during your lunch break.

Or start supper fifteen minutes later than usual — after you’ve hit the keyboard.

Priorities, priorities, priorities. How bad do you want it? If writing full-time is your ultimate goal, you must continue to show up.

If you train yourself to write for fifteen minutes when you arrive home from work, the word count will continue to grow. An ever-increasing word count leads to confidence, excitement, and joy. There’s no downside. None. If all you have is fifteen minutes, you must protect that time. Tell your family and friends how much writing means to you. The house won’t burn down if you disappear for fifteen uninterrupted minutes, nor will your children starve.

Some days the words will flow. Other days they won’t. That’s okay. You still made progress. Don’t get caught up in evaluating your writing or hitting a certain word count right away, or you’ll backslide into a negative mindset. Celebrate the fact that you showed up.

TOO TIRED TO WRITE

With all the snow blowing I’ve done this winter, it’d be easy for me to use the “too tired” excuse. Battling Mother Nature does wear me out, but I also have multiple writing projects that need my attention. I take time to rest, enjoy a nice hot cup of tea, then hit the keyboard. If my hands hurt from squeezing the handles of my snowblower (a common problem), I may only squeak out 500 words that day — self-care is equally important — but at least it’s something.

NOT IN THE MOOD TO WRITE TODAY 

If we sit around waiting to get in the mood to write, the WIP will languish on the hard drive for months, even years.

“The only way out is through.”

—Robert Frost

Here’s where having a solid writing routine in place makes all the difference. For me, it’s sliding on the headphones. Once I crank the music, the world fades away, my focus narrows on the screen, and I’m transported into my story. It’s a form of self-hypnosis. When I hear that playlist, my creativity soars.

Find a routine that works for you and stick with it. You may be surprised by how quickly you can jump into the zone.

I’M NOT INSPIRED 

Seriously? I’ve never understood this excuse. What are you waiting for, a lightning rod to shoot from the sky? Lemme tell ya, watching cat videos on social media won’t inspire you, either. Stop wasting precious writing time. Slide on the headphones, or whatever works for you, and write something, anything, even if it’s only a paragraph.

If you don’t know what to write, review your writing from the day before. It’ll come to you. If you’re still stuck, go for a walk. Alone. And think about your story.

Planners may have a slight advantage over pantsers in this regard. If I know my next milestone in the story — first plot point, first pinch point, midpoint, etc., etc. — then I’m able to say, “Okay, the MCs need to wind up doing this or that. How do I get there from here?”

The answer may require research. Or the introduction of a new character. Or better yet, kill a character. Nothing kickstarts creativity faster than raising the stakes.

I HAVE WRITER’S BLOCK 

Pah-lease. Writer’s block is nothing more than a negative mindset with a title attached. You’ve convinced yourself you cannot write for whatever reason. Flip the script in your head, and the words will flow like Niagara.

Perhaps, you’re overwhelmed. It happens. Take a breath. You’re okay. Move on.

Or maybe, real life has given you more than your fair share lately. Or you’ve written yourself into a corner. Figure out what the root cause is, but please don’t call it writer’s block.

Burnout is something else entirely — been there, done that, got the scars to prove it — the subject of which has too many variables to discuss now. Want me to cover it next time?

Maintaining a positive mindset takes work and perseverance, but you can do it… if you want to.

Therein lies the rub.

How will spend your treasure today?

Mindset, Motivation, and Tchotchkes

Writer’s block.

I had writer’s block.

I’d sat down, opened a blank page, and stared at the screen. I’d realized, on short notice, that I had a Kill Zone post due the next morning and it was four in the afternoon. I knew I had limited time to do a decent job as I skipped through my Kill Zone idea list.

Storytelling in Totem Poles   Nope, too long.  The Pareto Principle for Writers   Same. Uh-uh.  Multi-Tasking vs Mono-Tasking   Can’t do it justice.  The Psychology of Neckties for Homicide Investigators.   Not today.  Neurodivergent Authors   Phhh…  Sturgeon’s Law of 90%   Not possible.  Do You Read Your Reviews?   Naw.  Effective Book Covers with Elle J. Rossi   Geeze, I haven’t even started Elle’s questionnaire.

I sat with the blank page open, leaned back, and looked around my writing room for alternative ideas. My space is full of sayings for stimulus as well as tchotchkes for mindset and motivation. I’m a big believer in the muse, and my muse (since rehab) shows up sober, dressed, and ready to help when required.

Not this afternoon.

I got up and searched for a topic I could bang out fast and still provide value to whomever might so read. Nothing came. Yet I knew it was out there—not far out there—actually very close by.

I’m a nostalgist… if there is such a word. I have a nostalgic yearn for things old and bygone. Like the 1920s, for instance. Part of my studio is set up like a 1920s private detective office. (See the pic)

It’s got authentic props or tchotchkes like a rotary phone, an Underwood No. 5 typewriter in perfect working condition, a suspended metal warehouse lamp with a brown Edison bulb, a blown-glass ashtray and a fired-clay, Sears Roebuck coffee cup dated 1924, a corkboard pinned with relevant stuff, and a framed photo of some floozie who’s my idea of the perfect femme fatale.

Above and to the left are other motivational tchotchkes to set the mindset. A 1920s Electrohome tube radio that sort of works. (I can only dial a Vancouver traffic station on it, and I promise you the zoo-on-wheels in this place is not like a calm and orderly ‘20s road.) A bunch of flash cameras. Leather-cased binoculars. A violin case containing a Thompson .45 machine gun, or at least a reasonable facsimile. A prized, original silkscreen Maltese Falcon movie poster. And vintage neckties. I swear I have 500 ties, and there’s a profound psychological secret for that which I’ll reveal to you in some future piece.

I sat at my 2020s workstation and stared at the screen. Nothing was on it. I looked to my left at three framed affirmations I read every morning. One is deeply personal, and it reflects why I do this stuff. Words like financial, sense of purpose, sense of accomplishment, recognition, learning, opportunity, and legacy—leaving something behind when I’m gone.

The second affirmation is a quote on commitment by Johan Wolfgang von Goethe that’s supposed to bust through the ice of writer’s block like a massive polar bear snatching a fat little seal. It mentions Providence moving when one commits. But this afternoon, it appeared Providence was working at St. Elsewhere.

My third framed factoid is The Muse from Stephen King in On Writing. I won’t bore you with the entire thing ‘cause most of you writers know it by heart. I re-read it for the second time this day and came to the guy with the cigar and the little wings has a bag of magic part.

“Come on, buddy. Open the bag, man.” I said it out loud. “Help me out, O Twisted One.”

And then it happened. Out of nowhere, my muse said, “Just write about what you’re seeing around you and thinking in the moment. Experiencing. Call it Mindset, Motivation, and Tchotchkes or something like that.”

So, this post appeared, and it took me under an hour.

I’m a big believer in mindset, motivation, and tchotchkes. I think my muse pulled something of value from the magic bag and got its point across this afternoon, but I’d like to leave you with something from hardboiled & noir crime writer, Megan Abbott. She said this in a CrimeReads Shop Talk interview:

“Tchotchkes are stuff I look at to stimulate my imagination. When I look at all the tchotchkes above and around my desk—it’s weird. Writing is weird. You have to trust that you’re going to create this mental path so that readers can tunnel into your brain and experience this thing. So, for me, that’s really weird on its own. Deep down, though, I know I need discipline, mindset, and motivation in order to produce. Tchotchkes help me do that.”

Kill Zoners—Does this ring true to you? Do you have certain props or tchotchkes to help stimulate your imagination? Please share how you get into the right mindset and get motivated.

BTW, tchotchke is pronounced ‘chach-kee”. Sort of how a New England crime writer  😉  would say “church key”.

How To Adopt a Writing Mindset

The word “success” has various meanings. Some writers stay laser-focused on the end result, but I propose that we step back, slow down, and view success as footprints in the sand. Each footprint represents one day.

Will you step into that print or let it wash away in the tide?

Success is about adopting a growth mindset. Every morning I watch the sunrise. Why? Because it grounds me with a positive mindset for the day. If you roll over and slap the snooze button, dreading the day ahead, you’ll start the day with a negative mindset. Things tend to roll downhill from there.

Have you ever heard a writer complain that they’re just not any good at writing? That’s called a fixed mindset. Their mind is made up. They will never be a good writer. Period. End.

A growth mindset is positivity based. The writer with a growth mindset says, “I may not be the best writer today, but I will be.”

See the difference?

The writer with the growth mindset is stepping into the footprint to see where it leads. The writer with the fixed mindset would rather complain about writing on social media and let the footprint melt away in the tide.

Success is not about how many books you’ve sold, the amount of traffic to your blog, or even an article going viral. Instead, success is about progress, growth, and moving forward. That type of success is sustainable and filled with joy. We often say writing is a marathon, not a sprint, and there’s a reason for that. By celebrating small successes along the way to that big dream, we give ourselves positive reinforcement, we cheer ourselves on, we maintain a positive and joyous mindset.

Embrace your potential.

Understand that good writing is not a natural talent. It’s earned through study and practice and showing up every day.

If you struggle with a negative mindset, flip the script.

  • Where the negative writer sees a problem, the positive writer seizes the opportunity to grow and learn.
  • When the negative writer doesn’t know an answer and gives up, the positive writer researches the problem.
  • Where the negative writer sees criticism, the positive writer appreciates the feedback.
  • Where the negative writer might feel jealously, the positive writer feels admiration.
  • Where the negative writer might find something too hard, the positive writer knows the hard work will be worthwhile in the end.

People in general who believe that their efforts and strategies can lead to success are likely to engage in learning activities and take on challenges with enthusiasm, so they learn more, which reinforces their belief that they can learn to write well. In fact, according to some psychologists, this confidence, or self-efficacy, is central to motivation and learning.

What is a writing mindset?

It’s how we think about writing. Because I start the day with a positive mindset, I can’t wait to get to my keyboard. I know I’m gonna have a great day. Why? Because a writing mindset supports creative work.

How we approach and frame our writing problems lead to positive or negative outcomes. Working on developing a growth mindset will support your writing process.

So, for example, if you believe you can only write on Monday mornings from 8-10 a.m., you’re already making decisions about your ability to write on a Tuesday or a Wednesday or a Saturday, so if you slip behind the keyboard on any other day but Monday, it’ll be harder to write. You’ve handicapped your creativity with a fixed (negative) mindset.

How do we develop a writing mindset?

It’s about thinking that supports creativity, productivity, and persistence within our written work. It’s about reframing negative thought patterns. For example, I am not a poet, but I would never say I couldn’t write a poem. I would never say I couldn’t write anything. That’s not a self-serving statement. It stems from the knowledge that I can learn to write anything I want. And so can you!

A writing mindset challenges negativity and forces us to examine where negative thoughts stem from. Fear? Anxiety? Low self-esteem?

Writers with a growth mindset rarely, if ever, experience writer’s block. Why? Because we’ve harnessed the power of self-belief and positivity.

Benefits of a Writing/Growth Mindset

  • You will feel more in control of your writing.
  • Writing won’t feel so elusive and magical (magical meaning, to the point where you can’t replicate it).
  • You’ll be able to decide when and where you write rather than waiting for motivation or inspiration.
  • You’ll learn to show up and put in the hours.
  • You’ll step into the next footprint to see where it leads.

Okie doke, my beloved TKZers. There’s your Monday morning pep-talk. Now, go seize the day!