Dispatch From The Shallow South

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by John Ramsey Miller

I live in the “rural” South. She nurtures me in those big warm arms, and she shares her stories with me, and it’s because of her that I speak with that pleasing twang we southerners share like a genetically induced cowlick. I’d rather set a book in a small southern community than in New York City, and I find a character who goes shirtless and eats instant coffee from a jar with a spoon infinitely more page worthy than a slumming detective who’s secretly a multi-millionaire playboy. I am known as much for my oddball characters as for anything else in my novels. My oddballs aren’t a stretch for me. I actually saw a man eat Sanka because there was no hot water. It was not a pretty sight, but one that stuck in my mind in the way piping-hot mozzarella cheese clings to the roof of my mouth. I don’t hang out much with multi-millionaire detectives so I have little idea as to how they behave.

Here in the sticks I see a lot of mullets and other accoutrements of Out-Of-Touch-With-High-Fashion-and-I-Don’t-Give-A-Hoot disease. Last night in a local restaurant I saw a middle age man with a Prince Valiant hairdo, a work shirt, jeans and hunting boots. Here in the outer regions I am often among people in 12 step programs due to a WALMART shopping habit. I have heard music dance mix tapes have both country and hard rock music on them. I spend time with people whose social filters were due for a change 100,000 interactions ago. Out here you can wear a NASCAR t-shirts and jeans and sport coat to church and be overdressed. Women may have a closet full of camouflage fashion accessories, consume their alcoholic beverages from cans, have a distinct fascination with mud and four wheelers, and spit at the ground to accent a point they’ve just made. Their men are a lot rougher around the edges than the gals.

The other afternoon my wife had to stop because a 40 lb alligator snapping turtle was sunning in our driveway and wouldn’t give her right of way. I took the turtle by its tail (at some peril since I have seen these reptiles snap a broomstick in half) put it in the back of my SUV and drove to a large pond between here and the town nearest my house. And the whole time I was lugging this prehistoric monster down the bank, and I was trying to hold it out to keep from losing a chunk of right leg, I was thinking about the turtle soup from Commanders Palace. For a few seconds that shelled critter came close to a cooking pot. I seriously considered looking on the Internet for instructions on dressing out a snapping turtle and searching for a recipe for that soup I do love so. Only a reluctance on my part to do the necessary research saved it. Well, that and my desire to save a creature so stupid he’d wandered from his pond and into the woods. It’s possible that it was on its way somewhere and I interrupted turtley vacation plans. God, I love the sticks.

This weekend I am going to be digging post holes in the earth to sink 4x6s for a new chicken coop that I’m building and for setting fence posts. I have 50 chickens arriving next week and I’ve waited until the last moment to shelter them. So, I’ll be sweating and smiling and thinking about the healing power of hard work. And next week I’ll be writing again, which (as we all know) is far harder than digging holes or building structures for Henny Penny.

To end on a high note, here’s a picture of my youngest grandson sitting in my wife’s lap that I took this afternoon. He is quite a character, and this is what life is all about.

An Open Letter to Booksellers

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By John Gilstrap
www.johngilstrap.com

Dear Bookseller,

Thank you for inviting me to your store to sign copies of No Mercy. And thank you for the work you do. You are the lynchpin in the machinery that keeps the book world on its axis despite a culture that seems to value the written word less and less. It’s important that we work together to do whatever we can to pull people into stores to buy books. That’s why you invite me, and that’s why I show up. We’re a team.

It’s a shame we didn’t sell more copies, but it was great getting to know you and your staff. I’ve been thinking about the event since we last saw each other, and I believe I might have found some areas for improvement in the future:

Perhaps you should consider putting me inside your store. Yes, I know that things are a little cramped, but customers aren’t seeing me out there in the mall. They’re just seeing a guy at a table with a bunch of books, and judging from the looks on their faces, I think they’re a little creeped out by it. It’s the way they pull their children a little closer as they pass. Let’s share retail space as well as love.

The signage was a great idea; thanks for that. There’s actually only one L in Gilstrap, but hey, these things happen sometimes. Next time, though, along with the big picture of the book cover on the sign, could you display the picture of me that my publicist sent? If people can match a face to a poster it might take some of the creepiness out of the whole guy-sitting-at-a-table thing.

Please don’t think me ungrateful or overly pushy, but for the brief time I’m taking up space in your store, what say we all sell my book? That’s right, mine—the current Gilstrap; not the next Grisham or Baldacci or Miller. Sure, they’re fine authors, but they’re not here right now. Remember that lady who came to the desk while I was there and asked where she could find the new Jack Reacher book? That would have been the perfect time to say, “Oh, if you like that kind of thriller, you might want to meet John Gilstrap. He happens to be sitting right there.”

Perhaps I’m not the best judge on this particular form of etiquette, but it seems reasonable to inform every customer that there’s an author in the house. Perhaps it seems obvious what with the table and all, but believe me it’s not. People get tunnel vision when they shop. They need a little nudging. Ask around. Many of the independent stores and the more experienced chain stores do it that way. Hand selling really moves books.

While we’re on this topic, let’s talk about all those books you stacked around me at the table. It made for a great display, but I think half of them or even more should displayed inside the store away from me. I think it’s intimidating for people to evaluate the merit of a book while the author is watching. Just ask my wife. (I’m a hoverer as she reads my manuscripts, but that’s not important right now.) I think copies should even be stacked at the register so that the salespeople can hand each customer a book while they inform them that there’s an author in the house.

Thank you for your time and attention. As I close, I’d love to hear how I and my fellow authors can make your bookselling job easier. Should I have made up bookmarks and handed you a stack, or would you just see that as more clutter for your desk? I know I end up doing little but sitting at that table, but would you prefer that I walk around and chat up your customers? Truthfully, because of the aforementioned creepiness factor, I hesitate to approach readers on the prowl.

Finally, please know that I’m grateful for all of this. How else can we make the book signing thing more beneficial to everyone?

Warmest regards,
John Gilstrap

The Results Are In…

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by Michelle Gagnon

Thanks so much to everyone for helping The Kill Zone celebrate our one year anniversary with such enthusiasm! We’re looking forward to many more…

…And I won’t keep you waiting any longer. Here are the answers to last week’s “Liar’s Club” quiz:

1: What’s the most “outrageous truth” about yourself, one few people would ever guess?

Clare was lying. Although she was clearly a shoe-in for Miss Melbourne, she refused to take part in such a competition, mainly because of her extreme aversion to self-tanner.

2: What’s the most “outrageous truth” about yourself, one few people would ever guess?

John Ramsey Miller. Yes, this question was a bit flubbed with an erroneous date stamp. For the record, John does have a stalker, but she only pursued him to four cities out of eleven.

3: What’s the craziest/most dangerous thing you’ve ever done in the name of research?

I was lying. I mean, really, people- have you so little faith in me? Volunteering to be tasered? That requires a neglect for self-preservation that is truly rare to behold. Unless, of course, you happen to be Rick Sanchez.

4: What’s the worst line you’ve ever read in a review or rejection of your work?

James was lying. I recommend going back and reading all of those other brutal reviews if you ever receive a bad one yourself. We’ve all been there, clearly. There were even more that I didn’t use…

AND the winner is…drum roll puh-lease….

J.J.COOPER!!!!!

J.J. was the only reader to guess three out of four correctly, so bravo! Send me your mailing address off list, and I’ll make sure all of our latest releases make their way to your mailbox.

Because the truths piqued some interest, we’ve decided to elaborate a bit on the things that really have happened to us…

John Gilstrap and John Wayne: “Contrary to what you might read on IMDB, John Wayne’s last recorded performance was as guest star on como Perry Como’s 1978 Christmas special, “An Early American Christmas,” which was shot in Williamsburg, Virginia. I was a junior at the College of William and Mary at the time, and a member of the William and Mary Choir as well as the Botetourt Chamber Singers. To my knowledge, it’s one of only two performances in which Duke sings (part of a verse of “We Wish You A Merry Christmas”). Anyway, the William and Mary Choir is featured throughout the show, but there’s one scene in particular, shot in Chowning’s Tavern, where I’m on screen a lot. I’m the fit, good-looking guy with the luxurious long hair and beard (I haven’t changed a bit) wearing the white poofy shirt and red vest. For what it’s worth, Perry Como insisted that all the flagons be filled with real ale, so by the end of 8 or 10 takes, starting at six in the morning, we were all pretty looped.”

James, our very own nobleman: “My grandfather did a big family tree for us that takes us back through the first Duke of Wellington. I therefore have never suffered from a Napoleonic complex.”

Me and Maury: “I was invited to participate in a Maury Pauvich show focusing on the best bartenders in Manhattan. I didn’t realize until I arrived on set that they wanted me to lie down and have someone from the audience do jello shots off my stomach. I politely declined, and was promptly replaced. My fifteen minutes, therefore, turned out to be more like two.”

Kathryn stalks Ted Kennedy: “When I was a senior at Wellesley College, I worked as an intern for a very demanding Political Editor of a Boston TV station. My job was to maintain his schedule, attend meetings, and keep track of politicians. At one point he sent me off to Ted Kennedy’s house to see if he was there. The editor told me to make sure he was there, and so of course, I started creeping up the driveway, trying to see something. I think I heard a dog bark at one point, or maybe a cop car came by, so I dove into the bushes.”

Clare and the piranha-infested waters: “My husband and I traveled down the Orinoco River a few years ago – and our experiences there formed at least part of the idea for my first book, Consequences of Sin. After hours in a tiny boat in lashing rain we came to our ‘hotel’ perched on the banks of the Orinoco opposite the mission San Francisco. It was close to the delta and all around were hundreds of tributaries canoesnaking their way through the dense jungle. One day we went out in the dugout canoes the local Indians (called Warao) use. At one point our lunatic guide grabbed a piranha from the water and opened its jaws with a pocket knife just to impress us. He then warned us not to trail our hands in the water or (for the guys I assume) pee in the river as there were also electric eels whose charge can apparently traveled quickly back up a stream of urine…(who knew?!)…When we visited shore we also managed to disturb some horrible waspy insect nest which caused even the local Warao guide to go running and when we returned to the canoes we were warned to watch out for jaguars…Not a bad adventure in the name of ‘research’ for a wuss like me. It inspired me to wonder about the early British explorers to the region who (undoubtedly) would have gone mad…”

John Gilstrap and the Big House: “When I was writing NATHAN’S RUN, I lived only a few miles from the now-defunct Lorton Reformatory in Lorton, Virginia. During the author photo shoot, the photographer thought it would be a good idea to use the prison as a backdrop. The place was surrounded by multiple ranks of razor wire-topped chain link fence. Just for grins, I thought I’d pose as if climbing the outermost fence, telling the photographer that it will be interesting to see how long it takes for guards to respond. Answer: Not long at all, and when they arrive, they’re not happy.”nazi youth

John Ramsey Miller and the KKK: If you missed John’s excellent post last week on his hate group photo exhibit, “What Evil Lurks,” check it out here.

James and Chuck pump iron: “A couple years ago I was hired to write a script for Chuck Norris’s company and worked on it at his California home, where he has a room of Total Gyms. I have one, so I asked him to show me his workout. He did. The man uses what he sells and is in absolutely amazing shape. Don’t ever doubt that. You would be wise to remember that there is no theory of evolution–only a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.”

Kathryn and the best revenge: “That patronizing rejection came from an agent who’d insisted on an exclusive. I quickly got a much better agent, plus a publishing contract. Success is the best revenge!”

Every word counts

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By Joe Moore

One topic that seems to show up often with beginning writers is word count. Questions like: Are there rules for counting words? Is my fantasy too long at 600k? How long should a novella be? A short story? How do you get an accurate word count?

Word count can vary depending on genre. And in some cases, genre dictates word count. Readers tend to expect a certain word count in the genre they enjoy and will shy away from books that are longer or even shorter than what they’re used to.

Before we had computers and word processing programs with built-in word count features, the general rule used to be 250 words to a double-spaced manuscript page. Obviously, this was always going to result in an estimate, but a fairly good one. Today, it’s easy to determine your word count. For example, MS Word 2007 displays a running total at the bottom of the screen. So getting an accurate word count is no longer an issue.

How about what’s expected of a contemporary novel? I think the magic number to always aim for is 80k words. Eighty thousand is a good, safe number, especially if you’re a first-time author.

The thing that new writers sometimes forget is that more words mean more pages. More pages mean more printing costs. Does the publisher want to invest additional money into a new author just because he or she won’t give up a single word?

So if you’re writing a mystery or thriller or romance, you’ll be safe if your book is at least 80k words.

What about short stories? The answer is that in almost all cases, the word count on short stories is specified by the publisher. Check the submission requirements of the magazine or anthology to make sure you’re within the guidelines.

I think it’s important to remember that there’s always going to be some wiggle room with word count. No agent or publisher is going to reject your book if you missed the count by 1k or 5k or even 10k, especially if the story blows them away. But try to be accurate. There’s no excuse not to.

As a general rule of thumb, here’s a basic guideline to work count:

  • Epic: A work of 200,000 words or more.
  • Novel: A work of 60,000 words or more.
  • Novella: A work of at least 17,500 words but under 60,000 words.
  • Short story: A work of at least 2,000 words but under 7,500 words.
  • Flash fiction: A work of less than 2,000 words.

Does your contract specify word count? Have you ever had to trim because the publisher felt the book was too long for your genre? Or add because it was coming in too short? Do you think about word count as you write?

Confessions of an Editor

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We’re thrilled to welcome editor Kristen Weber as our guest-blogger today. Kristen has worked as an in-house editor for her entire book publishing career (except for a brief stint as a subsidiary rights assistant) before relocating to Los Angeles for her husband’s job. She’s currently freelance editing in between relearning to drive and hanging out with her pug. You can learn more about her services here:
Tackling my first freelance editorial project, I learned something quickly. You can get a lot more done as a book editor when you’re not actually working as one.
I hardly ever edited or even read a submission at my desk when I was working in-house. I was attending meetings, answering emails (you could lose a whole day right there), checking cover copy, catalog copy, and cover proofs, reviewing contracts, chatting with authors and agents, and just basically making sure every aspect of every book I worked on was perfect and making sure my authors were happy and agents remembered me for every good submission that they had.
I had lunch with a film person here in Los Angeles, and he said, “I picture you editors sitting in dark rooms with only one light on buried under papers and having no human contact.”
That just isn’t the case. The majority of my actual editing and reading (and I know this was true for almost all of my colleagues as well) happened at home in my “free” time. Otherwise we all had to be very personable and present in the office as we worked on many different projects at once.
But my favorite part of the job was always the editor / writer interactions. I’ve heard a lot of people say editors just don’t edit anymore, but I never found that to be the case. My authors will all attest to my carefully worded 6-10 page single spaced editorial letters and my colleagues were always working on letters like those as well.
As an editor, I feel like my job is to help authors push their own words and ideas out even further. They already have the spark of something great…editors are just trying to help them make it explode. And I’m rediscovering my joy for this now, in the quiet of my home or by the pool.
I think the most important thing you can do as a writer is collaborate with your editor. Even if you don’t agree with their suggestions, take time to think about them. Walk around the block. Because you just might be too close to see that there’s a problem…and even if you don’t like whatever solution your editor is suggesting.
I’m also a big fan of writing groups. But I often see projects that have been workshopped essentially to death. The writer received too many different opinions and tried to incorporate all of them into their manuscript, losing their own voice and vision in the process. My feeling on that is writing groups are great for friendship and support. They also can give you great help with revisions – but you need to make sure any changes you make based on their suggestions are true heart. You’re the writer. You don’t have to change anything you don’t want to…although you should probably revisit that if you’re getting multiple agent or editor rejections and they all focus on the same plot point that your writer’s group couldn’t get behind either.
So far I am having a great time freelance editing. I love seeing how a writer runs with my comments on their book. And I can’t wait to see what shape these projects I am working on end up taking as many don’t even have agent representation yet. I am coming in way earlier on the process than I ever did before. And I guess I kind of am now editing alone (although it isn’t dark – coming from a tiny New York City apartment, there is more light than I know what to do with) surrounded by papers…but I certainly don’t miss all of the meetings!

Anthem for Angst-Ridden Youth (RIP John Hughes)

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By Clare Langley-Hawthorne

It’s hard to believe he’s gone – John Hughes, the director of my teenage years – but looking back I have to confess the angst and confusion of that time have never really left me (probably why writing a YA book doesn’t seem a stretch) and so today I pay homage to the great teen films of the 1980s…OMG, I can’t believe I’m actually looking back on those years with nostalgia…So bring out the Tears for Fears and New Order albums, put on those pointy black shoes (Yes, I still have them) and the neon orange socks (sadly worn through) – brush that hair mascara on for it’s time for my top five 80’s teen movies (in ascending order and only the first two I confess are actually John Hughes’ movies).

Number 5: The Breakfast Club – Oh, to have been my namesake at that school. Miss Popular eating her sushi in detention and falling for the bad, bad boy…wait that was me at school…NOT!…I was actually on exchange in Canada the year this movie came out and as far as I was concerned ‘Don’t you Forget About Me’ was the anthem for my time there.

Number 4: Pretty in Pink – ditto on my desire to BE Molly Ringwald. Hell, in Australia I went to the all-girl Methodist Ladies College – we only had the Catholic Xavier schoolboys for our angst fix…
Number 3: Say Anything – This was a little before my time but when I saw it I was hooked…What’s not to love about John Cusack with a boom box above his head belting out Peter Gabriel to the girl of his dreams? I still love the line “I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen…”

Number 2: Valley Girl – Okay, I admit this was WAY before I really hit my teen angst stride but Nicholas Cage (before he became the loser conspiracist-action-hero dude) was the boyfriend I always wanted. I also wanted to speak like a valley girl but that’s a whole other (sad) story…

Number 1: Looking for Alibrandi – Finally an Aussie movie and at number 1 no less (I am cheating a wee bit though as this didn’t come out in the 1980s though I think the original book did)!
This one came out well, well after I was a teenager but when I saw it on a Qantas flight back to Australia I confess I teared up. I’m not Italian and had no Nonna spy ring but the story of a precocious teen trying desperately to get into law school, stymied by the confines of her private school upbringing, and falling (of course) for the wrong, bad boy…how could I resist?

I let my husband read this post – he’s had to put up with my addiction to 80’s teen movies long enough. I met him, after all, the first week of university (in 1987!). I was just seventeen and yes, New Order was the soundtrack to our dating. I was also in law school (idiot that I was). I’m still with him today – but when I see these movies I can easily be transported back to the 80’s…and I wonder what happened to all the bad, bad boys (and for that matter Molly Ringwald!)

So what film was the anthem for your angst-ridden youth?

Stay Thirsty

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I love a good ad campaign.

When I started running a small legal publishing business years ago, I had to teach myself advertising and marketing. I read some classics on the subject, such as How to Write a Good Advertisement by Victor O. Schwab and Tested Advertising Methods by John Caples.

My favorite, though, was Ogilvy on Advertising by the legendary ad man David Ogilvy. This volume made me appreciate what goes into successful ads, and just how hard they are to pull off.

So when I see a great ad campaign, I nod in approval. One of the best of all time has to be the “I’m a Mac, I’m a PC” series. It’s no accident that Mac’s market share has shot up in tandem with these ads. Smart, funny, short, well acted, superb.

But my current favorite is “The most interesting man in the world” campaign for Dos Equis. You’ve all seen it (and if you haven’t, you need to become more interesting by looking it up. You can start here).

A typical spot will feature “vintage film” of the man in various pursuits, while a narrator recites a few facts about him. Then we see him sitting in a bar surrounded by beautiful people. He looks into the camera and, in a slight Spanish accent, says, “I don’t always drink beer, but when I do I prefer Dos Equis.”

A few of my favorite “facts” about this man are:

• He lives vicariously through himself.

• He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.

• The police often question him, just because they find him interesting.

• He once taught a German shepherd to bark in Spanish.

And then, at the end of each ad, comes the man’s signature sign off: “Stay thirsty, my friends.”

What’s so good about this campaign?

It’s risky. Having a graying, middle aged man as the lead character is, as they say, counter programming.

It’s funny without trying too hard. The understated way the deep-voiced narrator extols the man’s legend is pitch perfect.

It has a complete backstory, revealed a little at a time in the mock film clips.

These are qualities of a good novel, too. Risky, in that it doesn’t repeat the same old; a bit of unforced humor is always welcome; and a backstory that renders characters real and complex without slowing down the narrative. All that we can learn from “the most interesting man in the world” campaign.

And from the man himself we can learn, as writers, to live life expansively and not just lollygag through our existence. Not waiting for inspiration but going after it, as Jack London once said, “with a club.” Believing, with Kerouac, in the “holy contour of life.”

We ought to be seekers as well as storytellers, a little mad sometimes, risking the pity and scorn of our fellows as we pursue the artistic vision. Then we park ourselves at the keyboard and strive to get it down on the page. Why go through it all? Because the world needs dreams rendered in words.

Writer, keep after it and someday this may be said of you as well: “His charisma can be seen from space. Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number.”

Stay thirsty, my friends.

Who knows what evil lurks…

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John Ramsey Miller

With this one in the can, I will have written 52 blogs. I think some of them were worth reading. At least, and as of this writing, I have received no death threats over them. I have received death threats, and I suppose I earned them.

I wanted to clarify the thing in the anniversary blog about me setting up a portrait studio at racist gatherings. I did it to capture images of Klansmen, Skinheads, and Identity Christians, not because I was attracted to their speeches. I was a portrait photographer and I was interested in intense groups of people for series. I started with artists. I did death row inmates. I met the leader of a group of skinhead thugs who had broken Heraldo’s nose on TV and I photographed him and a few of his friends in New Orleans in the late 80s. That led to a letter of an introduction letter (on SS lightning bolt letterhead) to other groups of like-minded racists around the country. I don’t know what I did with the damned thing. I’m sure it used to be in the drawer with the collected letters from death row inmates in Angola.

Children of Hate Pulaski, TN 1989

Here’s how I did it: I used a Polaroid back on a large format (4X5”) camera. I’d ask for the subjects to sign a release and I’d give them the B&W portraits, which I put fixative on. What I didn’t bother to tell them was that after the picture was pulled, there was a high-quality negative left over, which I could print later in a darkroom. I suppose the subjects, most of which were hardly rocket scientists, believed they had the only prints, although I never said as much.

From my childhood these people were my enemies and when I was younger they terrified me because they focused their hatred on my father. I could say that I despised them for their beliefs, which are narrow and frightening. But the truth is, I just felt sorry for them because their philosophy is based on their fear of being further marginalized in society than they already are. They are dangerous on several levels, but are inherently only slightly more suspicious of outsiders than they are each other. According to FBI sources, about one in twenty is an informant. In short they are paranoid and deluded as to their importance and potency. I found their gatherings sad affairs filled with a sort of beer hall bonding over a cold glass of hate and ignorance. I felt sorry for the children of hate, because they never have a chance (until much later) to form their own idea of self and of the value of others who are different than themselves.

Grand Dragon of the Florida KKK 1990

When the story and pictures I’d done hit the presses, the subjects went wild. I had death threats. Several while I was being interviewed on radio in Miami. The Miami Beach police watched over me without my asking. I lived in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood and I had made a number of friends in the ADL (Anti-defamation League) while I was doing the series who made sure I was watched over. I had spent hours of time on the telephone with investigators with The Southern Poverty Law Center trading information as I learned who these people were and their relationships to each other. I guess I had much better pictures of certain subjects of interest than they did, and I had names and addresses. The racists felt betrayed when the not-so-flattering story was published, but I never told them I agreed with anything they said. I just listened and absorbed and ultimately regurgitated my experiences for a piece for Miami Herald’s Tropic Magazine entitled, MY FRIEND THE NAZI.

Grand Secret Cyclops Pulaski, TN 1989

None of the Nazis, Skinheads, Klansmen, or Christian Identity members were ever my friends. Friends don’t make your skin crawl. I wish I had been able to show them how wasteful and self-destructive their philosophies were, but that’s not usually in the realm of being remotely possible. Hate is all they have.

Knowing When To Quit

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By John Gilstrap

You’ve been working on the story for the better part of a year. The plot is all you think it should be, and you love the characters you’ve created. Finally, you reach the day when you get to type every author’s favorite phrase: The End. You do your little happy-dance around the office and maybe celebrate with the family.

Then you read what you’ve written. Uh-oh. That big twist in Chapter Seventeen wasn’t as well set-up as you wanted it to be. And jeeze-oh-peeze that dialogue seems flat in Chapter Seven. And the spelling errors! Oh, my God! You hunker down and make those changes, plus dozens more. Woo-hoo! You’re done.

Then you read what you’ve written. Damn. Now that you’ve changed Chapters Four, Eight and Eleven, that Chapter Seventeen twist is so obvious that people will see it coming from ten miles away. And your protagonist’s hair color has somehow miraculously changed in Chapter Twenty-Four. Besides, you know what? This whole story might just suck. Maybe treating the story as a mystery is a mistake from the beginning. Maybe it needs to be romantic suspense. Maybe you need to start over from page one.

Maybe it was better before you started diddling with it. Maybe . . . blah, blah, blah.

A friend of mine who is a landscape painter told me once that good artists and great artists are separated by the ability to know when the trees in the painting have exactly the right number of leaves. You can have too few, and you can have too many, and a great artist knows when to quit. A successful writer knows when his story is finished and it’s time to let it go.

I struggle with this on every book I write. Hell, I struggle with it on every one of these blog posts. I’m an obsessive re-writer, but I can’t stand the notion of something being “out there” that is not exactly the way I want it to be. And more times than not, when I look at it one more time, there’s something else I feel compelled to change.

How do you all determine when it’s time to move on? How do you gather the courage to quit?

The Liar’s Club

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by Michelle Gagnon

Pinocchio_3ak

No really, you shouldn’t have. I mean, sure, it is our…

ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!

What do you mean, you forgot? Yes, it was just a year ago today that I wrote the inaugural post for The Kill Zone. And to celebrate a year of rants, raves, and other miscellany, my fellow bloggers and I decided to do what we do best- make stuff up. Below is a series of questions. One of the answers to each question is an outright, baldfaced lie. Your job is to guess who’s fibbing.

For each correct guess, your name will be entered in a drawing for signed editions of each of our latest releases (including my coffee table book on macrame. It’s not just about macrame, it’s MADE of macrame. Patent pending).

Because after all, what anniversary would be complete without fabulous gifts?

Note: despite the outrageous nature of some of these responses, there is only one liar per question. Hard to believe, but true. The winner will be announced in my post next Thursday.

So good luck, and thanks for making this an amazing year!

1. What’s the most “outrageous truth” about yourself, one few people would ever guess?shootist

Kathryn: I once hid in the bushes outside Ted Kennedy’s home, spying on him for a Boston TV station.

John Gilstrap: I was featured in John Wayne’s last filmed performance.

Clare: I was runner up in the 1989 “Miss Melbourne” beauty pageant.

James: I’m a descendant of the Duke of Wellington

Michelle: I was a featured guest on the Maury Pauvich show.


2. What’s the strangest interaction you’ve ever had with a fan or reader?

James: A man approached me at a conference and said God told him I was chosen to write his story. I told him I didn’t get the memo.

Clare: During an radio interview for Consequences of Sin, the host claimed he had predicted 9/11.

Michelle: At a conference, a Ted Kaczynski look-alike handed me a manila envelope filled with xeroxed diary pages outlining ominous apocalyptic predictions.

John Gilstrap: After giving 20 minutes of advice to a young writer at a signing, he walked away saying, “Huh. Well, I don’t read shit like you write.”

John Ramsey Miller: In 1997 I had a stalker who followed me on a book tour to 5 cities out of 11. She changed her appearance each time and asked me to sign a book to whatever name she was disguised as.

Kathryn: During a radio interview for DYING TO BE THIN, one caller claimed there is a conspiracy to keep America fat. I said thank goodness for that, otherwise I’d have to blame my sweet tooth.


3. What’s the craziest/most dangerous thing you’ve ever done in the name of research?


John Gilstrap: I intentionally leaned against a prison fence and walked around the perimeter to see how long it would take for a guard to respond.

John Ramsey Miller: In the mid to late eighties I set up a formal portrait studio at a series of KKK rallies across the south and at the Annual Celebration of the Founding of the Ku Klux Klan in Pulaski Tennessee.

chuck norrisKathryn: I logged onto wild and wooly web sites that gave my computer a nasty virus.

Michelle: I volunteered to be tased to see what it felt like.

James: I asked Chuck Norris to show me his Total Gym workout

Clare: I navigated piranha infested waters in a dugout canoe.

4. What’s the worst line you’ve ever read in a review or rejection of your work?

John Gilstrap: An agent offered to represent NATHAN’S RUN if I would change the protagonist from a 12-year-old boy to a divorced woman.

Joe Moore: “Weak and simple plot, unbelievable and boring characters, and poor writing make this book difficult to finish.”

James: Dear Mr. Bell: Enclosed are two rejection letters; one for this book, and one for your next book.

Kathryn: Agent rejection: “I really wanted to like your story. But I just didn’t like the voice. Or the main character. I just didn’t like anything about it at all.”

Clare: “It’s painful to read more than one or two pages at a time.”

I have to say, I was impressed with my fellow bloggers’ ability to lie with aplomb. Since I could only choose one lie per question, I was forced to omit some real humdingers. Next week I’ll include outtakes/elaborations in the post.

On a side note, Clare just officially became a US citizen (and that’s the truth). Welcome and congratulations!