Finished the Draft. Now What?

Finished the Draft. Now What?
Terry Odell

marked up manuscript printed in 2 columns

Since my last post, I reached “the end” of the current manuscript. Yippee! Of course, now the real “fun” begins. Editing. Previously, I’ve talked about how I attempt to fool my brain with printing the manuscript in columns and in a different font. You can find that post here. That’s what I’ll be doing for the next several weeks before sending it off to my editor.

One thing I’m super happy about is that I found a title. I know some authors can’t start writing without one. For me, it’s usually the last thing I come up with. I can think of only two exceptions. What’s In A Name? got its title when I was forced to fill out an entry sheet for a RWA chapter contest. There was this big, blank line that said “Title.” The title was almost a placeholder, but I realized that it actually fit the story. Subconscious at work? Maybe. Probably.

The other one was Starting Over which is exactly what I was doing. It wasn’t so much a name of the manuscript, but rather the name I gave the folder in my computer where I would be saving drafts, chapters, notes, etc. The title worked, for the book, too, as it turned out.

When rights reverted, indie publishing still wasn’t a thing, so I approached another publisher. They accepted it, but didn’t want the same title, so it became Nowhere to Hide, which I kept when rights from that publisher reverted to me.

What was I talking about? Right. The new book and its title. It’s part of my Mapleton Mystery series, and the pattern for titles throughout has been a two-word title, the first word being “Deadly.” You’d think coming up with one word would be easy. Ha! Not for me.

Since I had finished the draft, I had some idea of a theme (I don’t think of those when I start, either). It came to me. Deadly Ambitions. It worked, my writing buddy liked it, and my editor liked it.

That puts me one step closer to publication.

But first, I have to whip this draft into shape.

We talk about first pages a lot here at TKZ. They’re important. Very important. It’s been months since I’ve written my first chapter, and there were changes as there always are when I’m starting a new book. Am I starting in the wrong place? Am I info dumping? Will it entice new readers to keep going? (The current wip is the 9th novel, and the 12th work in my Mapleton mystery series.) I write them so they can be read as stand alones, but there’s always the temptation to make sure new readers don’t feel confused when I introduce recurring characters. I know that bugs the heck out of me, which is the main reason I prefer to start with book one in a series. JSB is always saying readers will wait for answers, but how long?

My Mapleton books are small town police procedurals. Sort of. I’ve had reviewers comment that there’s a “cozy feel” to them. But they definitely do not fit the rules/guidelines/expectations of a cozy.

When I’m reading, I like seeing the off-the-job side of my protagonist. Through the series, Gordon has dated, become engaged, married, and is now at the “newlywed phase is starting to wear off” point. Angie, his girlfriend-fiancé-wife has been with him in some capacity since book one.

My dilemma, as is frequently the case, is how much page time she gets, along with how much page time Daily Bread, the diner she runs, gets. Are readers going to want to skim those scenes to get back to the Cop Stuff and Chief Stuff Gordon has to deal with? In the current book, she’s playing a significant role and is personally involved in one of Gordon’s cases. (No spoilers.) She’s part of the opening scene, but is it too much? Not enough? I’ll pose that question to you, TKZers.

These were the opening paragraphs in my first draft.

Gordon Hepler, Mapleton, Colorado’s Chief of Police, moseyed over to Jerry Illingsworth, newly elected mayor of the city. This was Jerry’s night, and it was in full swing. The event room at the Community Center was filled with his supporters, all enjoying the food and drink.

Angie, his wife, was in charge of the food, and she’d done a great job, deviating from the usual fare at Daily Bread. Jerry had requested something more upscale, and she’d been happy to comply, especially since her restaurant was closed for remodeling. The extra work provided much needed income.

Gordon snagged a shrimp-topped canape—Angie’s term. Gordon called them nibbles—from a passing server. The group around Jerry wandered off, and Gordon moved in to congratulate the new mayor.

“Would it be inappropriate for me to say It’s about time?” Jerry gave a quiet laugh. “Three recounts before Nelson Manning accepted—reluctantly is too kind a word—defeat.”

When I started my edits, I thought I’d devoted too much ‘dumping’ of who Angie was and her role, so I tightened it to this. (Only the second paragraph was changed.)

Gordon Hepler, Mapleton, Colorado’s Chief of Police, moseyed over to Jerry Illingsworth, newly elected mayor of the city. This was Jerry’s night, and it was in full swing. The event room at the Community Center was filled with his supporters, all enjoying the food and drink.

Gordon snagged a shrimp-topped canape—his wife Angie’s term—from a passing server. She was the chef, so she would know. Gordon called them nibbles. The group around Jerry wandered off, and Gordon moved in to congratulate the new mayor.

“Would it be inappropriate for me to say It’s about time?” Jerry gave a quiet laugh. “Three recounts before Nelson Manning accepted—reluctantly is too kind a word—defeat.”

What’s your take? Too much? Too little?

~~~~~

woman pouring a smoked Manhattan into a glassOh, and for those of you who are interested in my images from our anniversary getaway last month, you can find them here.


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Terry Odell is an award-winning author of Mystery and Romantic Suspense, although she prefers to think of them all as “Mysteries with Relationships.”

10 thoughts on “Finished the Draft. Now What?

  1. Many writers dread editing/rewriting. I personally like it b/c I can see the improvements from cutting here, expanding there, finding a better verb, etc.

    Terry, both versions of the second paragraph are good but the second one is tighter and doesn’t distract the reader from the mayor’s election. Maybe change “chef” to “caterer.” That gives more hint of Angie’s professional situation. Later, you can fill in details about the restaurant closed for remodeling.

    One other teeny suggestion: in the first sentence, maybe change “moseying over to Jerry” to “moseying toward Jerry.” “Over to” sounds as if he actually approaches Jerry but he doesn’t until a few beats later when “Gordon moved in to congratulate the new mayor.” That stopped me for a second b/c I thought he was already beside the mayor.

    On your way to another winning Mapleton mystery! Yaay!

    • Thanks, Debbie. Good suggestions. I’m always struggling with ‘better’ versions of “walk”.
      Lots of editing to be done before it goes to my editor, who will find more things to fix.

  2. I prefer the edit. “Angie, his wife, was in charge of the food” in the 1st version has just a slight tone of bragging – oh he’s the chief of police so he made sure his wife got the catering job.

    In the 2nd version: “She was the chef, so she would know.” essentially conveys the same info about Angie but it removes the slight tone of bragging and the paragraph is snappy and quick.

    2nd version also clarifies whose wife Angie is. In 1st version, I first assumed Gordon’s wife, but when I read it again I wondered if I misunderstood and it was Jerry’s wife. But 2nd version removes that confusion.

  3. I like the column formatting trick! I’m going to suggest that for a beta reader who often laments that the story overwhelms her ability to read for editing purposes.
    I, too, prefer your tightened edit on the subject of Angie. Every reader is different and we can’t please them all, but I’d wager the majority of yours are there for Gordon’s story.
    However, if you were to see commentary from readers asking for more of Angie, perhaps there could be a novella standalone where she’s the MC? A fantasy author did that for a sidekick character, once, and it still stands as one of my favourites.

    • Thanks, Cyn. I hear you on “can’t please them all” and it’s so freeing to accept that.
      For the record, I did write a novella with Angie as the POV protagonist. Deadly Engagement. 🙂

  4. Congratulations on finishing that first draft and beginning the editing process, Terry. I also think the 2nd version works better, it’s tighter and stays focused on the mayor. The original version might work better in a more “fully” cozy mystery where exposition in the opening is common to establish background up front.

    Your post today also resonates with me because I’m finally beginning the revision of my latest cozy library mystery by tackling the opening, which will need more work than yours 🙂

    Happy revising!

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