The First Body I Never Forgot (and Why Some Stay With You)

Some seasons carry a particular kind of memory.

Michigan in the fall.

The air cools. The sun recedes. The leaves color, brown, and drop.

In many ways, memory behaves the same way. Certain experiences fade. Others remain intact, preserved beneath the surface, waiting for the right season to rise again.

People often ask me, as a coroner’s daughter, whether there was a first body I never forgot.

There were many. But it started with this one.

Growing Up in a Medical Examiner’s Family

I was eight years old. My younger sister was six. A dual engine airplane had crashed in a field near our town’s small airport in rural Michigan. On a Sunday afternoon, instead of errands or rest, our father took us along to assist in the search for remains.

We walked the field with him.

We found fragments of brain matter and pieces of skull scattered in the grass.

When people hear that detail, they expect horror. Trauma. Shock.

What I remember is something else entirely.

My father treated the moment as he treated many moments in our childhood. He turned it into a lesson. He explained that the brain is the body’s central organ, the command center responsible for every signal that allows us to move, breathe, think, and live. He described the skull as a bone helmet designed to protect that fragile and essential organ.

His voice was steady. Clear. Clinical.

Respectful.

Those are the details that imprinted themselves in my mind.

I don’t remember fear. I don’t remember disgust. I don’t remember feeling emotionally overwhelmed. I remember being included. I remember being trusted. I remember wanting to help.

That response makes more sense when you understand the environment in which I was raised.

For nearly twenty five years, my parents ran the Medical Examiner’s office in three rural counties in northern Michigan. An expanse of territory hundreds of miles deep and wide.

My sisters and I were often alongside them. Death investigation was part of our daily vocabulary. It was never sensationalized. It was never treated as a spectacle. It was handled with professionalism and dignity.

Growing up in a medical examiner family shapes your understanding of death from a young age. You learn that death is part of life. You learn that answers matter. You learn that families need clarity as much as they need comfort.

And above all, you learn to pay attention.

Understanding Death Before You Understand Its Weight

At eight years old, I didn’t grasp the larger significance of what we were doing in that airfield. Even today, that memory feels almost secondhand. I know the event happened because my parents retold it. I can’t fully reconstruct the sensory experience in vivid detail.

What I understood at the time was simple.

Death exists. It deserves respect. It requires careful attention.

Justice requires patience. Often into years or decades.

Emotion needs to be tampered so that logic can shine through.

Truth requires the discipline of careful examination and record keeping.

In our bucolic farming community, most cases that came through the coroner’s office weren’t homicides. They were accidents, natural causes, and sometimes suicides. Farm equipment incidents. Drunk driving fatalities. Motorboat collisions on Lake Michigan. Hunting accidents. Cardiac events in barns and fields. Self inflicted gun shot fatalities.

Some deaths were preventable. Some were tragic coincidences.

When a combine flipped over or a drunk driver got behind the wheel and killed an innocent family, grief often carried an undercurrent of regret. Loved ones would ask whether a different decision could have changed the outcome. In death investigation, those questions linger.

Homicides were rare. But when they did occur, the emotional atmosphere shifted dramatically. Grief braided itself with anger and fear. Loved ones demanded justice. There was sometimes a temptation toward vigilante resolution. Small towns feel violence deeply because everyone knows everyone.

Watching my parents navigate those tensions taught me something that would later influence my crime fiction.

Why Certain Cases Stay With Investigators

One of the most common misconceptions about death investigation is that cases linger because of their graphic nature.

That’s not necessarily how it happens.

Cases stay with investigators because of the people attached to them.

If a particular case lingers with me, it’s because it carries emotional value that aligns with something I believe deeply. Justice. Restoration of order. Redemption. The protection of the vulnerable.

The human mind holds onto story longer than it holds onto gore.

Cases stay with investigators, coroners, detectives, or forensic professionals, because the imprint is relational. It’s about the life behind the body.

Who were they?

How did they live?

Who loved them?

Were they protected?

Were they failed?

In death investigation, you quickly realize that Cause and manner are clinical determinations. They matter legally. They matter for closure. But they don’t fully explain a person’s flesh and blood life.

The Emotional Cost of Paying Attention

When people ask if there was a high emotional cost of growing up around death investigation, I often pause before answering. If there’s an emotion that still lingers, it is that of empathy and compassion and deep respect for human life.

In the airplane crash case that I attended when I was a child, there was no emotional cost for me at the time. I was too young. Only eight. My father’s calm demeanor shaped the emotional tone. Everything he did became a lesson. He was a natural teacher. He approached each case with steadiness and thoroughness.

Over the years, what embedded itself in me wasn’t trauma.

It taught me the importance of responsibility and work ethics.

Do a good job.

Look closely.

Listen attentively.

People were looking to my dad for answers that would help them understand a loved one’s death. That understanding matters deeply to them. It mattered to him.

In professional death investigation, attention to detail isn’t optional. A missed observation can alter the trajectory of justice. A rushed conclusion can harm a family’s ability to heal. That discipline shaped my worldview long before I ever put pen to paper.

The emotional fallout you witness from a life ripped apart from his loved ones comes in ripple effects.

It comes when you see how preventable some tragedies were.

It comes when you watch families fracture under the weight of unanswered questions.

These are lessons that I remember learning growing up around other people’s tragedies.

How This Shaped Emily Hartford

Readers of the Coroner’s Daughter mystery series often ask whether Emily Hartford reflects my upbringing.

She does. In many ways.

In The Coroner, Secret Remains, Last One Alive, Frozen Lives, and What Darkness Does, and in next month’s new release, WALKING ON WHITE, Emily approaches each death with tenacity and persistence. She refuses to accept partial answers. She won’t close a case prematurely. That’s by design.

Emily doesn’t have closed cases in the emotional sense. She carries them until resolution is achieved. That mirrors how my parents ran the Medical Examiner’s office. They investigated thoroughly. They persevered. They believed that accuracy and truth were due the public they served.

They sought to provide answers and close doors on the investigations. In the same way, crime fiction tries to do the same thing. In crime fiction, readers can depend on a story paradigm where justice is achieved by the final page. Order is restored. Chaos is addressed. Hope and redemption are offered.

They offer a framework in which good confronts evil and resolution follows.

At its core, crime fiction is built around a moral architecture of good versus evil.

Crime Fiction Rooted in Real Forensics

When writers ask me about what inspires my crime fiction, they often expect dramatic anecdotes. They imagine the most violent cases shape the narrative. It’s true that I like my forensics to “make sense” and I strive to be authentic in my telling.

However, the most powerful inspiration stems from how families navigate trauma, grief, and loss.

It stems from how investigators handle dark situations and dark people in a delicate balance of empathy and objectivity.

It stems from seeing how a community responds when something disrupts its sense of safety.

My mission as a storyteller has always been to shed light and hope into the darker recesses of human experience.

Growing up as a coroner’s daughter gave me early exposure to those recesses. Writing allows me to explore them and provide the anecdotes of hope and redemption and resolution.

It’s Never the Body

Why do we love this genre?

Because we care more about the person who lived and loved, than the dead body they become.

We fight to preserve their legacy. We fight to remember the good they gave the world. We fight to restore dignity when violence has stripped it away.

Whether in real life death investigation or in crime fiction, the ultimate question is the same.

Did this life matter?

The answer is always yes.

That’s why certain cases linger.

That’s why investigators keep pushing.

That’s why readers turn pages late into the night.

Behind every autopsy report, every forensic detail, every courtroom proceeding, there is a living, human story.

These stories remind us that paying attention preserves human dignity and significance.

Perhaps that is the truest inheritance of being a coroner’s daughter.

Jennifer Dornbush is an author, screenwriter, and forensic specialist who brings crime stories to life with authenticity and heart. With a background rooted in real-world forensics and a passion for crafting unforgettable mysteries, Jennifer offers readers and viewers a front-row seat to the intersection of science, justice, and human nature.Jennifer’s crime expertise has made her a sought-after speaker, consultant, and educator. Through her webinars and master courses, Jennifer guides writers in melding suspenseful storytelling with forensic realism to the screen and page. Meet her at www.jenniferdornbush.com

Clue — Analyzing the Board Game’s Murder Weapons

Recently, a writer from the online humor site Cracked contacted me with a fun proposal. JM McNab wanted to do a Cracked piece on how effective the murder weapons were in the board game Clue. You remember—the lead pipe, the rope, the knife, the wrench, the revolver and—who could forget—caving a guy’s head in with the candlestick.

JM McNab found me through a Google search. He was looking for an “expert” in murder weapons, and I fit his bill. We had a great phone conversation resulting in this Cracked article being published this past Sunday. With JM’s and the Cracked editorial department’s permission, I’m sharing it today on the Kill Zone:

Which ‘Clue’ Weapon is Best, According to a Former Homicide Detective

Since none of Monopoly’s property disputes end up with grisly stabbings on Park Place, and as far as we know, Candyland isn’t secretly littered with sugary corpses, no doubt the most thematically-intense family board game in history is Clue, in which players are tasked with solving the murder of “Mr. Boddy” in a remote, two-dimensional country manor.

Winning the game means puzzling out the identity of the murderer, which room the crime took place in, and which of six potential deadly weapons was used. Admittedly, this a baffling premise for a murder mystery story; after all, even a drunken party guest should be able to quickly eyeball between a knife wound and a strangulation, right? Yet somehow, all of these confusing elements were skillfully weaved together in the comedy classic that is 1985’s Clue.

So we couldn’t help but wonder; in the world of Clue, given these options, which weapon would actually be the best and most effective choice for the fictitious killer; the rope, the candlestick, the revolver, the wrench, the knife, or the lead pipe? To get to the bottom of this pressing issue, we spoke with Garry Rodgers, a retired homicide detective and coroner, as well as a current best-selling crime writer.

As Mr. Rodgers pointed out, the six weapons fall into different categories; the candlestick, wrench, and lead pipe are all “blunt edge objects,” whereas the knife is a “sharp edge object.” The rope is a “ligature” and the revolver, of course, is a “firearm.”

In terms of the first category, the weapons that could be used to bash someone’s head in, any of these could conceivably be used as an instrument of death – but as Rodgers points out, “human beings are notoriously hard to kill” and can “take a wicked beating.” Using any of these effectively, not to mention discreetly, would be difficult because it might require a lot of work, and the victim could conceivably become “defensive,” either by fighting back, or by just running away at the first sign of an attack. And no one wants to play a round of Clue where “Mr. Boddy bolted out the front door” is the solution.

Rodgers reasoned that if the killer was wielding a lead pipe, approached the victim from behind and “gave a good whack” they ”could probably kill them with one blow.” The same goes for the wrench if it was big enough, since you would need “enough bulk” to “transfer the kinetic energy” and land a fatal blow – although it might be “hard to swing.”

The candlestick was ranked by Rodgers as the worst of all the Clue weapons, since it’s oddly-shaped, could be difficult to handle, and wouldn’t result in a “sharp directed transfer of energy to a particular spot” the way, say, the pipe would. And while Rodgers has investigated cases involving every other Clue weapon, he couldn’t recall any real life murders involving  candlesticks – which, incidentally, doesn’t mean that there aren’t similarly wacky murder weapons in the real world. Rodgers described one case where someone was stabbed with an oyster shucker, and another where the victim was beaten to death with a “bag of frozen pork chops,” AKA the reverse-Rocky.

Then we have the rope, which also has its major issues. For one thing, the killer would have to “overpower somebody to be able to get that rope around the neck” and there would likely have to be “some element of surprise in it.” This is why most strangulations are manual strangulations, as in by hand, “to start off with … followed up by ligature strangulation.” In other words, killers choke their victims until they black out, then finish them off with the ligature. But still “strangulations take quite a bit of time,” which could be a big problem if you need to hurriedly duck into a secret passage and head back to the Conservatory before anyone notices you’re gone.

As for the knife, it’s certainly deadly, but “people can take a lot of slashings with a knife.” So in addition to the fact that “you’re going to have your victim screaming” there would be “blood all over the place.” Meaning that Prof. Plum would have a tough time maintaining his innocence with Mr. Boddy’s innards Jackson Pollock-ed all over his evening wear.

Rodgers concluded that the revolver, of all the Clue weapons, would be the “most effective.” And, really, if there’s a gun in the house, why is anybody running around bludgeoning folks with a candlestick? While it’s noisier than some of the other weapons, “you can easily muffle it by shooting it through a pillow.” Although the further away one is from the target, the less accurate the shot – and accuracy would be key to ensuring that Mr. Boddy goes down for good.

All that being said, were one to attend a secluded country manor with murder on their mind, the ideal weapon would be … none of the Clue weapons. According to Garry Rodgers, the Clue murderer’s best course of action would have been to simply dose the victim with a little bit of poison, which is bafflingly not an option in the game. Of course, Clue obsessives may recall that poison was added as a weapon in the expanded version of the game, 1988’s Clue Master Detective – but then again, so was a horseshoe, which is just as goofy as a candlestick.

Kill Zoners — Who can name the six original suspects in Clue (without Googling them)? And if you were realistically rewriting the game ala 2022, what murder weapons would you retain, what would you change, and with what?

A Day in the Life of a Coroner

My last piece on The Kill Zone was about a day in the life of a detective. I was a criminal investigator for Canada’s national police force, the RCMP, and retired after 20 years of service with the Serious Crimes Section. We mostly concentrated on murder files, so I had a bit of contact with cadavers.

I left the detective business to take an appointment as a coroner. That gave me another investigation career as the guy no one wants an appointment with—Doctor Death. It was a smooth and fitting transition. I have to say I enjoyed the challenge.

People often wonder about the difference between a coroner and a medical examiner (ME). Simple, I say. It’s a lot cheaper to hire a fee-for-service coroner to do life’s dirty work than employing a full-time physician or pathologist.

The two death investigation systems, MEs and coroners, are used all across the civilized world. It depends on the region and the history as to what form the death investigation office holds. Coroners originated in Jolly Old England where the “Crowner” was appointed by the King or Queen to make sure no monkey business happened with royal subject bodies before due death taxes were collected.

Moving forward to the twentieth and twenty-first centuries, the coroner service served its purpose in smaller areas with low-volume death loads. It was usually a good ole’ boy in the community who got the coroner nod, and he was trusted to be fair and impartial when ruling on death causes. It didn’t always turn out that way.

As medical and forensic processes evolved, so did the need for specialized skills and knowledge. Look at it this way. The medical examiner is a highly-trained professional who employs field investigators and in-house technicians. It’s ideal for big city areas because of body counts. Coroners were appointed as fee-for-service retainees on a case-by-case basis in low-volume sites.

It’s much more economical to pay a coroner $80K per year to do death investigations and write rulings than it is to keep a forensic pathologist on staff at $200K-plus. Then, there are employee expenses where medical examiners keep payroll workers with overheads whereas a coroner sub-contacts undertakings like autopsies and toxicology examinations. Coroners pretty much go it alone.

It’s all about money. I can’t say one system is necessarily better than the other. We used a coroner service where I worked near Vancouver, British Columbia. You might note the term “British” as this place was settled by the Brits who evoked their coroner system. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, so it stayed.

Before getting on with what a coroner does in a typical day, let me tell you how I snagged a coroner appointment. You don’t apply to become a coroner and there’s never a job posting. It’s a secret society. Masons. Skull & Bones. Illuminati.

You’re carefully scrutinized, then cautiously invited into the service because you have something valuable to offer and no skeletons in the closet. That’s either investigation experience or medical knowledge. It’s no coincidence the vast majority of coroners I worked with were cops and nurses who took early retirement to double-dip pensions. I had no problem with that.

It sounds like an old boys club situation, right? Well, in my case it was the old girls who took a chance on me. I knew Rose when I was a cop and she was a field coroner. She moved up the ladder to be the boss and it seemed she thought I was a good fit.

The other good ole’ girl was Barb. She was a rare bird who didn’t come from the usual suspects. Barb was a high-profile, investigative crime reporter. I was her snitch, er, ah, contact inside the police department. We were also good friends and, when Barb got settled into a coroner appointment, she vouched for me.

Coroners in Canada get judicial appointments—we’re not elected. And, there’s immense power in a coroner’s hands. We’re essentially independent Supreme Court Judges whose rulings on death cases stand, except for a very tough appeal process through the federal justice minister. As coroners, we signed our own warrants like being able to search any place at any time or go out and exhume the dead.

Okay. That’s the deal of how I got the job. For this piece, I looked in my journals to find a typical day where interesting stuff went down. Many days in a coroner’s life are routine but this Tuesday in June certainly was not. It was the day we autopsied Mister Red Pepper Paste Man.

It started the day before. I got a field call of a sudden death in an apartment block. The cops were the first on the scene, and they didn’t have any valid foul play concerns, but the place was a slight mess with things knocked about. They also told me the neighbors reported a short screaming fit coming from the dead man’s apartment which they said sounded like someone skinning a live cat.

In death investigations, we focused on a triangle of information. One was the body and what its condition told us. Next were the scene and the general or specific details. Third was the medical history of the deceased. In other words, was this a medical time bomb waiting to explode?

That didn’t seem to be the case with Mister Red Pepper Paste Man. Here was this skinny old guy lying on the floor in the fetal position. He was in the kitchen, and it was relatively tidy except for a few items like an overturned chair, some dishes on the floor and some partially-eaten food.

The first thing I looked for was his meds. Time bombs usually have a pharmacy stored somewhere. That wasn’t the case with Mister Red Pepper Paste Man. I couldn’t find a thing—certainly nothing to identify a family doctor who could say he was long past his best-before date.

Then, there was the neighbor information that indicated he’d gone into some sort of painful distress. Myocardial infarctions and brain aneurysms will do that, so I suspected a jammer or a cerebral bleed. I bagged Mister Red Pepper Paste Man and hauled him back to the morgue.

That was Monday. There was a vacant postmortem spot for first thing Tuesday morning. I got there early and had a chat with my pathologist friend, Elvira. I told her about the scene and commotion. She just shrugged and said, “Let’s see”.

Elvira and the diener, or morgue attendant/autopsy technician, did the usual incisions and ruled out the heart and brain. Then she opened the stomach. “Whoa! Look at this!”

Even Elvira stepped back. The stomach contents were alive. They were positively moving in a mass of reddish pasty mess.

“Go back to the scene,” Elvira instructed. “Look for anything he’d been eating and bring it to me.”

I left Elvira and the diener to sew-up the man and put him back in a drawer. The apartment wasn’t far from the morgue so I was back there in about ten minutes. I saw right away what I hadn’t noticed before. There, on the kitchen counter, was an open jar of red pepper paste. There was also a knife, a toaster and a part-eaten sandwich.

I looked in the jar. It, too, was alive with a pathogen culture. Like, it was squirming as if trying to leave. With double gloves, I put the nearby cap on, put the bio-hazard in a container and took it back to Elvira.

“I thought so.” Elvira also double-gloved. She wore a Hazmat-rated respirator as she cultured a slide and put it under the microscope. “Botulism.” Then she looked at me and kind of smiled. “You know they make Botox out of this shit, don’t you?”

That was the story about Mister Red Pepper Paste Man, and he must have had an excruciatingly painful death. Another file I had going was this strange series of disarticulated feet stuffed inside running shoes that sporadically washed up onshore. Our city across from Vancouver was the center of Pacific tidal waters that merged the huge Fraser River drainage with the saltwater basin that extends through Puget Sound to Seattle. Around us was a breakwater of islands, small and large.

For the last three years, there was something strange in the neighborhood. These stupid severed human feet in runners kept popping up, and it created quite the stir. Major media outlets loved the story. They speculated anything from a serial killer with a foot-fetish to a weirder-than-normal satanic cult was behind it.

We, in the coroner service, liked to rely on science more than sorcery. It was Barb who first thought these floaters were from suicide bridge jumpers in the Fraser Valley. Barb theorized the jumpers would go into the cold Fraser freshwater and sink, then get dragged along the bottom out to the warmer seawater. Here, nature’s decomposition action, along with marine life caused the ankles to disarticulate and the foot-encased shoes would bob to the surface.

But why did this start happening now? We never heard of this before. Barb loved jigsaw puzzles. She always had one on the go in her office, and I think she saw the floating feet like a puzzle. She sniffed and she snooped and she solved the mystery.

Barb found it was simply a chemistry advancement compounded with economics. One thing all the shoes had in common—thirteen feet in total—was they were Chinese knockoffs sold in discount stores. To save production and shipping costs, the shoe manufacturers switched to a high-tech, lightweight polypropylene sole that floated like cork. The files remained open while we tried to make DNA matches to missing people.

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My cell toned. It was a cop from one of the Gulf Islands which ringed our area like a fence. He said they had a death to report, but he didn’t know the cause. He was following protocol as all sudden and unexplained deaths, by law, had to be reported to the coroner.

“Any sign of foul play or accident?” I immediately asked this to qualify if I should attend the scene. This island was a half-hour ferry ride each way and attending unnecessarily would take a chunk of what was left in the day. I’d only go that distance if there could be trouble down the road like criminal charges, lawsuits or a public inquest.

“Nope,” he replied.

“What’s the circumstances?” That was always my nest question.

“Looks natural to me.” The officer had no concerns. “It’s an elderly lady discovered dead in bed. Found by her daughter who said they’d long expected it. Her prescriptions cover the usual for the aged.”

“Have you got the family doc’s name and number?” I knew this was shaping up to be a Coroners Act Section 15 case where I had no jurisdiction in a natural death—only in homicide, accident and suicide. Here, the family doctor was responsible for determining the medical cause of death (MCD) and sign the death certificate (DC).

I copied the info, then asked the officer to take some scene photos and email them to me. “If there’s nothing weird,” I said, “like a screwdriver in the back, then you’re okay to remove the body.” Legally, no one can touch a dead body without a coroner’s approval.

I called the doctor and had her sign off. There was nothing weird in that case, and there’s nothing weird in most cases. Except for this one.

I had an open file waiting for toxicology results. It wasn’t the cause of death I questioned. That was obvious. It was what drove someone to commit such a horrific act of suicide.

I never saw anything like it. Not in my detective days. And, not in my days as a coroner.

I attended a death scene like no other. A sixty-six-year-old grandmother with no known history of mental or other illness—certainly not suicidal tendencies—had phoned her daughter to come and pick her up to go shopping. The daughter arrived with the eight-year-old granddaughter and couldn’t immediately find the senior. They walked about the house and heard a buzzing sound coming from behind a closed bathroom door. So, they opened it to find the mother/grandmother had slit her own throat from ear-to-ear with an electric carving knife. The tool was still running and spattering blood.

There was no way this was a homicide set-up although we investigated it as a crime scene. We found the senior was self-diagnosing and medicating on the internet. She’d ordered and taken gabapentin which is a veterinary anti-seizure medication. Once the tox report came back with the blood concentration, I’d be in a better position to determine if the consumption amount caused a psychotic episode.

I spent the day’s remainder writing two Section 16 judgements. Those were in my jurisdictional wheelhouse. One was a motor vehicle accident death, and I knew the family wasn’t going to like my finding. The other report was for an in-house complications-of-surgery case which had malpractice lawsuit written all over it.

It was four-thirty. I finished the drafts and closed my laptop. I left my little office that I squatted in at the morgue and went home. My wife was there—our kids were grown and gone—and she played Words With Friends on her iPad.

I joined her in a pre-dinner glass of wine. White. Not red. Normally, I’d have a few fingers of Scotch over frozen rocks. But, I was on-call, after all, and no one wants their dead body examined by a half-cut coroner.

   *   *   *

Garry Rodgers has lived the life he writes about. Garry is a retired homicide detective and forensic coroner who also served as a sniper on British SAS-trained Emergency Response Teams. Today, he’s an investigative crime writer and successful author with a popular blog at DyingWords.net as well as the HuffPost.

Garry Rodgers lives on Vancouver Island in British Columbia at Canada’s west coast where he spends his off-time around the Pacific saltwater. Connect with Garry on Twitter and Facebook and sign up for his biweekly blog.