
Who is a Real Writer?
One more Christmas story…
I didn’t ask for anything for Christmas this year. My wife Lisa asked me a number of times what I wanted, and my repeated response was “no presents.” I am, I guess, somewhat low maintenance. Give me an iPod and Kindle with drive space, a computer with Wi-Fi service, and a 24 hour Sonic Drive-In within a five-mile radius and I’m good to go. I don’t need anything, and actually, don’t really want anything. Lisa finally quit asking me, and on her master Christmas list wrote “Nothing/per request” next to my name. I did, however, receive something anyway.
Samantha, our four year old granddaughter, is a joy. She was born with a major disadvantage — that poor child looks just like me — but has somehow grown past that and transformed into a beautiful little child.. I often refer to her as the three foot tall anti-Christ, particularly after she has made an extended visit; but just when you think that her head is going to begin rotating she says or does something that melts our hearts. This past Christmas she only waited a few minutes to fire up the furnace. She came running into our home, as excited as a four year-old child can be on a Christmas morning, and we guided her over to her Christmas stocking which was filled with her favorite candy (Kit-Kat bars, for those who keep track of such things, as well as Hershey kisses and a few chocolate-covered santas thrown in for good measure). She dumped the content of the stocking out, looked at it for a second without touching it, then smiled up at me. “Grandpa, you’re THE BEST!” she said.
I guess I did need something after all. What better present could there be than that? It is said that grandparents and grandchildren get along so well because they have a common enemy. Just so. But there are other reasons, too. And a spontaneous expression of love would be one of them.
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What I’m reading: The White Tar Baby by Patrick King. Worth buying an e-book reader for, all by itself. King needs an editor — who doesn’t? — but the guy is one great storyteller, and this suburban tale of a guy who makes a series of disastrous decisions is one with which many of us will identify.
Compare & Contrast: Lightning Bug and Lightning Bolt
By John Gilstrap
Well, it’s official. The keys to the asylum are now the property of the patients.
Just when I thought we’d hit the firewall of political correctness and Universal Nannydom, it turns out there’s farther to go. In an effort to protect the delicate sensibilities of our children (why is madness so often touted as protecting children?)—and, I suspect, to make life easier on overwrought and over-watched teachers who are so frequently thrown under the bus by their administrators—Auburn University English Department Chair Alan Gribben has rewritten The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, one of the great works of American literature, to remove the n-word and other “offensive” terms so that the generation that considers John Stewart to be a journalist won’t have to think too much.
Professor Gribben told USAToday, “When the young reader is staring at the word five times on a given page and the instructor is saying, ‘Mark Twain didn’t mean this and you have to read it with an appreciation of irony,’ you’re asking a lot of the young reader.” Perish the thought. God forbid that school become a place for, you know, thinking and stuff.
It’s interesting that he focused on irony, because Gribben went on to tell USAToday, “All I’m doing is taking out a trip wire and leaving everything else intact. All [Twain’s] sharp social critique, all his satirical jabs are intact.” Read that last sentence again. I shudder that he a) uttered this nonsense without irony, and b) he’s allowed to teach English classes.
By the way, the good professor is also sparing us the offense of the words “Injun’” (yes, the famed bad guy is now Indian Joe—better, I suppose, than Oppressed Native American Joseph), and “half-breed,” which will now be half-blood. You know, like Huck Finn and the Half-Blood Prince. Perhaps we can exchange the raft for a flying broom.
Tell me this isn’t happening. I’ll stipulate that the n-bomb is perhaps the most offensive word in the English language, and that I would never use it in my writing, but how can anyone be so presumptuous as to change the work of one of the greatest writers this country has ever produced? It’s not even a dead word, for crying out loud. (Listen to the radio stations that teenage boys are listening to, if you don’t believe me.)
As offensive as it is, and as evocative as it is of bad times in America, the n-word is, at the end of the day, a word, and context matters. I can’t think of a single case where that particular word is used to better effect than in Huck Finn. The whole book is a treatise against racism and Jim Crow laws. Surely the chairman of an English department knows this. Talk about your slippery slopes! In Oliver Twist, Charles Dickens routinely refers to Fagin as “the Jew” and trust me, he doesn’t mean it in a good way. Is it time to re-write that book as well?
Look, I readily admit that I don’t know how to teach an English class—I barely know my parts of speech, and I’m a lazy reader—but I know right from wrong, and this is wrong. Great literature is supposed to make you squirm and think. Teachers are supposed to embrace the squirming and transform it into learning moments, perhaps in spite of parents and administrators who are pre-wired to take cover if anyone takes offense. (One is reminded of the humiliating 1999 incident in which Washington, DC, Mayor Anthony Williams forced the resignation of senior staffer David Howard for using the word, “niggardly” (it means miserly) the appropriate way in the appropriate context during a meeting.)
In an interview with Publishers Weekly, Professor Gribben blamed his atrocity on the fact that such a great American classic is one of the most banned books in America, all because of the presence of the n-word. Now my head is going to explode. His mission is to enable book-burners.
Dammit, people of all colors are supposed to understand that Mark Twain was one of the great crusaders against racism. They’re also supposed to appreciate irony. And they’re supposed to be really, truly uncomfortable with some elements of history. That’s good for everyone, even the children.
When he wasn’t busy offending future soccer moms, Mark Twain was something of a philosopher. Among his many quotable quotes is one that goes something like, “the difference between the nearly-right word and the right word is the difference between the lightning bug and lightning.”
Professor Gribben is a bug.
Freedom from the Virtual Tether
Hi. I’m Michelle, and I’m hooked on the internet. Sure, I make all sorts of excuses. I’m only doing it for the marketing. I need it for research. It’s the only social interaction I get, especially now that the UPS guy won’t be showing up daily with Christmas deliveries. I can s
top whenever I want.
So here we are in a brand new year. I’m not usually one for making resolutions, but Clare’s post on Monday touched a nerve.
Clare discussed the merits of keeping a writing journal while working on a book. And all I could think was that there was no way I’d ever find the time- I’m barely getting enough fiction writing as it is.
Which then lead to musings on why that’s the case…
When I tabulate it, time spent dealing with emails, social networking groups, and listservs has crept up every year. Every writer knows that this is somewhat of a necessary evil- we’re constantly told that these days online marketing is key, and maintaining a presence in these different forums is critical to our success.
But is it true?
Sure, I’ve made sales via Facebook, Twitter, and some of the lists. But even skimming the group digest deluge that arrives in my inbox every day sucks up precious minutes. Responding to other peoples’ comments and feeds takes even more time. And at the end of the day, I discover that I’ve spent a fairly significant chunk of it on minutiae. It’s as if I spent an entire afternoon hanging out by the watercooler (and yes, I’m fully aware of the irony of posting this on a blog).
So here’s my resolution: I’m signing up for Freedom, a program that will lock me out of the internet for specific time periods. For months I’ve resisted doing this, since it would seem to imply an appalling lack of self-control. But there it is, the sad truth. I’ve tried cutting back on my own, turning off my Airport. And yet when I hit one of those writing lulls, my first thought is, “I wonder if that email came in?” or “What’s happening on Facebook?”
Here’s the companion issue: checking all of those nifty devices. I went to dinner with a friend last week who spent most of our evening together simultaneously checking email, texts, and God knows what else. And I’m not throwing stones–I’ve occasionally been guilty of the same. It’s tempting, after all, to constantly monitor that virtual tether. But it’s also an addiction that appears to be spiraling out of control worldwide.
Two resolutions, then: the Freedom program, and keeping my various devices tucked away the majority of the time. As with all addictions, I’ll be taking it one day at a time. So if I don’t respond to your comments immediately, don’t take it as an affront- rather, a sign that I’ve taken that first step. Wish me luck.
Ritual Passings
My brother-in-law passed away last week and we had to make an unexpected trip north. He’d been ill so the news didn’t come as a total shock, but we didn’t think it would happen right then. No one ever does. Even if your relative has been sick, you don’t think about the end. Death is too final. So began the ritual of a Jewish burial. Tradition dictates we bury the body as fast as possible, but you have to allow for out of towners to fly in and time to make all the arrangements.
On the day of the funeral, we drove in limos hired by our nephew to the funeral home (also called a funeral parlor, derived from when funerals used to take place at home). Once inside, we assembled in a private room. Immediate family members were given the choice of seeing the body. Then we hung around to receive somber dressed visitors with sad expressions who mumbled how sorry they were for our loss. As a mourner, you might want to curl up inside and reflect on your loved one and what their absence will mean in your life, but instead you’re forced to maintain your composure and survive this public ritual.
After guests were seated in the congregation, we entered and took seats in the front rows. A single bouquet of flowers graced the closed maple casket. (FYI, Jewish people send food to the house where the family will receive guests or they make donations to a favorite charity in lieu of flowers.) The Rabbi gave a lovely tribute to our beloved brother/father/husband, said some prayers and psalms, and then the children and widow took turns speaking (optional, not a requirement). Sniffles could be heard throughout the assembly. When the service completed, we filed outside and drove to the cemetery. Here we sat and/or stood shivering in the cold while more prayers were said. For a final goodbye, the casket was lowered, and family and friends took turns adding a shovel of dirt. Then we climbed back into the limos for a quiet ride to my niece’s house.
Then began the tradition of “sitting Shivah”. For Reform Jews, this is 3 days. For more religious denominations, it’s 7 days. You receive visitors, eat the food that everyone sends, and gather a “Minyon” (sp?) of at least 10 people for evening prayers. Basically we sat around, ate, and chatted for two long days. The family received deli platters (meats and cheeses), smoked fish platters (bagels and lox), various salads, fruit platters, and desserts. Someone was generous enough to send a hot meal of brisket and potatoes one night. My brother-in-law’s absence was felt but in my mind I saw his smiling face watching us.
It’s an exhausting time for the close family who has so much to deal with in a few days, including a constant flow of visitors, and yet the support helps and is greatly appreciated. It’s harder afterward, when everyone leaves and the family has to adjust to the loss in their daily routine. During this quiet but sad period of adjustment, a phone call or a sympathy card (via snail mail) is welcome. That’s when the loved one’s absence really hits, but life goes on and time marches forward. We are reminded that our turn is coming. We’d better enjoy ourselves while we can, and that’s what our dearly departed would want us to do.
The Upload is Easy . . . How’s Your Writing?
We’re thrilled today to welcome author Kathleen Pickering as a guest blogger. Kathleen is an award winning author of romance and women’s fiction. She’s the past President of Florida Romance Writer’s South Florida Chapter, and has held every Board position, except Treasurer—she knows her limits!
Kathleen’s first novel, ECHOES OF LOVE, a paranormal romance achieved finalist awards from affiliates of the Romance Writers of America such as the Holt Medallion, and the Booksellers Best Awards. Her latest novel, FLIRTING WITH FINANCE, is self-published and co-written with financial advisor, Gwendolyn
Kathleen is married, has two grown sons and loves to travel for fun and on-site research for her novels. She lives in south Florida, wants to swim with dolphins, dances to any music that moves her, sings karaoke with her friends and escapes with her husband on their sailboat every chance they get.
The digital craze in self-publishing may leave one’s head spinning, until one takes the plunge and uploads a book. I was prepared to give step-by-step instructions for uploading to Kindle, but discovered that Amazon makes the process embarrassingly easy with their Digital Pad Upload.
I now understand why senior editors I chatted with at conferences this summer expressed so much concern over the competition from Amazon and B&N with their self-publishing and marketing offerings. Between the ease of upload and the excellent royalty returns, digital self-publishing is a siren singing in the night. For those authors with a backlist they’d like to put to good use, check out this YouTube link for Kindle upload instructions. This will answer any questions you may have on getting your work listed with Amazon. Just be prepared to supply a social security or tax ID number as well as bank deposit information. If you opt for royalty payments by check they’ll charge your $8 per check. Here’s the link:
http://forums.digitaltextplatform.com/dtpforums/entry.jspa?externalID=362.
Once I saw how easy the process is, my concern grew over what so many people have suggested: Anyone can upload anything and call it a book! This notion compels me to address the unpublished author who is considering uploading his/her precious work. Let’s have a chat before you press that upload button.
First, have you sufficiently canvassed the editor/agent publishing pool by submitting your manuscript(s) before going digital? Remember, J. K. Rawlings experience something like 48 rejections before she sold Harry Potter. Patience does pay going the traditional route. I understand the publishing market is tough right now, but I wholly endorse seeking a publishing house contract before going digital. A brick and mortar publisher can offer insights and marketing for your work that you may miss on your own. If you’ve decided otherwise, hopefully, you have received constructive criticism from professionals on what needs tweaking in your manuscript. Pay attention if the same points have been stated more than once about your work and correct them.
If you have not submitted manuscripts and received feedback, I suggest you find a professional editor to look at your work. If you cannot afford an editor, find critique partners whom you respect. I can guarantee there are writing groups in your town who would welcome you! Bottom line, no authors wants to crash onto the digital scene by uploading a bad book. Poor plotting, typos, spelling and grammatical errors will throw your reader out of your story and seriously hinder your credibility as an author. The last thing any writer wants to do is kill their reputation before getting launched as an author. Your story must have compelling characters and a concise, riveting plot told in a voice that sets you apart from the slush pile, even on Amazon, because you and I both know the digital book lists are going to explode.
Second consideration is the cover art. If you are familiar with Photo Shop, you can create your own. Otherwise,
Third factor is an ISBN number. Amazon does not required one for digital uploads, but it is recommended for tracking. Cost for an ISBN number starts at $125. The cost helps one appreciate one of the many expenses incurred in the publishing world. For more information on ISBNs, visit: http://www.isbn.org.
By the time this blog goes to print, I will have uploaded my first effort on Kindle. As past President of Florida Romance Writers in Fort Lauderdale, I couldn’t resist offering to compile a Horror Anthology as a fund-raiser for our chapter. (I know, Horror from a Romance group. Go figure!) Notable authors from FRW, such as Heather Graham, Bonnie Vanak, Carol Stephenson, Traci Hall, Michael Meeske, Veronika Levine, and yours truly, contributed to this anthology. Vampires, Werewolves and Zombies, Oh, My! should be available on Kindle by the end of the week. Putting this work together was great fun and has given me the incentive to upload more books on Kindle. Heck, if the digital book lists are going to swell, I plan on riding that wave!
In the meantime, I’d love to hear of any delights or snafus you may have discovered in uploading your digital books. Please post a comment with your experience. We are all curious to know more about this new publishing venue.
Dear Diary, Happy New Year…

els, scenes, snippets of conversations etc. but all of these have always been directed towards my fiction writing. Now I am wondering whether keeping a more personal writing journal would be a good idea or not. The impetus for my musings was reading a review of Gail Godwin’s latest memoir which draws heavily upon the diaries and journals she kept over the years. It started me thinking about writers who keep such journals and whether the process of personal gut-spilling is a useful tool in developing one’s writing craft.Happy Holidays!
It’s Winter break here at the Kill Zone. During our 2-week hiatus, we’ll be spending time with our families and friends, and celebrating all the traditions that make this time of year so wonderful. We sincerely thank you for visiting our blog and commenting on our rants and raves. We wish you a truly blessed Holiday Season and a prosperous 2011. From Clare, Kathryn, Joe M., Nancy, Michelle, Jordan, John G., Joe H., John M., and James to all our friends and visitors, Seasons Greeting from the Kill Zone.
See you back here on Monday, January 3.
Talent Will Out
By John Gilstrap
In my effort to maintain a digital footprint in the Worldwide Web, I participate on several writers’ boards on Facebook and LinkedIn. For the most part, those boards are filled with shameless self-promotion of self-published books, but every now and then, I find thread that piques my interest. Recently, I found two: One dealt with authors’ needs to brand themselves, and a second with the pricing of eBooks. In my mind, the two topics are closely related, and I thought I’d nudge a discussion here in the Killzone.
As I see things, the act of writing a story is an art form that not everyone is cut out to do. There’s an X-factor to story creation that transends the mechanics of writing (which can be taught), and involves a certain clarity of vision which cannot be taught. For lack of a better term, we’ll call that X-factor talent.
That said, the selling of one’s art is 100% commerce, reducing the finished work to a product among other products that are seeking attention from the same customer base. Like any product, a book needs to be noticed before it can be successful.
This brings me to the notion of branding. Given the nature of our product, there are only two options that I can see: we can brand the book, or we can brand the author. In a perfect world, we brand both. As consumers become comfortable with the way a particular author tells a story, they’ll start looking forward to the next release.
Branding presents a delicate mix. Covers from an author should invoke some sense of the previous books, and the stories from book to book should take readers on the same kind of ride without becoming repetitious. In my own case, I jealously guard my July 1 pub date, ever aware that readers are learning to look for the new releases at that time of year. All of these little detals perpetuate the brand.
Branding can’t be rushed. Except for the occasional first-novel lightning strike, the common denominator I see among the mega-sellers in our industry is the regular production of books. Year after year–more or less at the same place in the calendar–they produce yet another story for their readers. Over time, they create a critical mass, and then they’re off and running. Huge marketing budgets and media campaigns aside–all of which are justified only by growing readership–bestsellers are born of word-of mouth. I honestly don’t think there’s a way to force it.
Which brings me to the subject of pricing, whether you have control over your cover price, or if that is controlled by your publisher. All too often in this business model, the production side of the business looks too hard at their own interests while turning a blind eye to their customers. Here’s the question that we and our publishers need to ask when it comes to pricing: What’s the level that will give incentive to readers to read our book instead of a book by an author who’s far better known in the genre?
There’s a lot of noise on the other boards about authors disrespecting themselves by pricing their books too low. This is nonsense. Given all the entertainment alternatives, it’s in our best interest to get people to read our works at virtually any price. The fact that we need $X to make ends meet is irrelevant to a reader’s decision to buy our work. If they’ve never heard of us, but are intrigued by all the other things that have to go right for success to even be an option, we’ve got to make that a low-risk gamble. Vince Flynn and I write in a similar genre, but he has many more fans than I do, who are clearly willing to shell out $28 every year for his next story. God bless him. If I want to tap into that reader base–and I do, as does my publisher–then we need to give readers a reason. If their rationale for picking up their first Gilstrap book is, “What the heck, it’s only $4.00,” I’m okay with that. I’m also confident that they’ll feel they got a great ride for their investment.
With luck, that reader will share his perception of value with his friends, and come next summer–or the one after that–those friends will dare to take a chance on their own. Do it enough times, and a critical mass is born.
So, what do y’all think? Is it worth it to surrender some coin on per-copy compensation to increase the reader base? Have you been driven to buy a book you otherwise wouldn’t have because the price was right?

