by Debbie Burke

As a writer, I like to collect fun words and expressions. How about you?

Here are some that caught my attention:

ADMINISTRIVIA

During our recent interview, author and podcaster Pamela Fagan Hutchins introduced me to this portmanteau. Two words are combined to make a new word that relates to both.

These days, seems like half my time is taken up with administrivia such as filling out unnecessary forms, taking surveys, answering repetitive questions I already answered at least four times. Businesses, governmental entities, medical practitioners, banks, etc. specialize in administrivia with their ongoing demands for personal information because they want to sell us something.

 

PRETZELITIS

Indie film producer Holly Soriano coined this term for an affliction that writers often have. We twist ourselves into all sorts of mental contortions trying to make a character or plot work.

The verb form is pretzelize.

The cure for pretzelitis is often critique from an objective editor or beta reader who recognizes the problem and tells us that we’re overthinking the story.

 

NOT MY FARM, NOT MY PIGS

“Not my circus, not my clowns” has become a cliche. So that’s why I appreciated this fresh twist to convey not my problem. A friend heard it from her country neighbor.

 

Sign at the local laundry and dry cleaners:

WHAT IS IRONY?

THE OPPOSITE OF WRINKLY

 

 

CODE BROWN

At the gym when a little kid has an accident in the pool, they announce “Code Brown” over the PA system to alert employees to clear the pool and call the janitor.

Can’t help but be reminded of the classic scene in Caddyshack.

 

ALGORITHMIC DISAMBIGUATION

This 10-syllable mouthful arrived in an AI scam solicitation email. I can only guess the prompt was: combine two words into a phrase that sounds impressive but means nothing.

Actually, it does mean something: We want your money.

 

YOU CANNOT TEACH A PIG TO SING. IT WASTES YOUR TIME AND JUST ANNOYS THE PIG.

This quote appears on a Murphy’s Law poster (poster copyright 1981) that has hung in our entryway for decades. The saying has been attributed to Mark Twain, Paul Dixon, and other sources. However, according to QuoteInvestigator.com, it came from Robert Heinlein’s 1973 novel Time Enough for Love.

But its roots go even farther back in history.

An ancient Greek proverb has a similar theme:

“He ploughs the air;
He is making clothes for fishes;
He is teaching an old woman to dance;
He is teaching a pig to play on a flute;
He catches the wind with a net;”

Circa 1860s, a variation shows up in a comical Irish ballad:

“You may catch old birds with chaff.
Says the Shan van Vocht,
You may coax a cow to laugh,
Says the Shan van Vocht,
You may teach a pig to sing,
To dance a “Hieland fling.”
Or whistle any thing.
Says the Shan van Vocht.”

All boil down to the same meaning: Don’t waste your time on foolish, pointless, useless endeavors.

Isn’t that what administrivia does???

 

 

THAT DOG WON’T HUNT

An idea or plan that can’t work.

 

 

ALL HAT, NO CATTLE

Lots of hot air and no action to back it up. A close corollary is: ALL MOUTH AND NO TROUSERS

 

THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

A big problem no one wants to face or discuss.

An early use of the phrase occurred in a 1959 NY Times article that stated: “Financing schools has become a problem about equal to having an elephant in the living room. It’s so big you just can’t ignore it.”

However, that doesn’t mean people won’t continue to try.

In 1935, the great comedian Jimmy Durante appeared on Broadway in Billy Rose’s stage production of Jumbo. In the show, Jimmy is a down-on-his-luck circus owner trying to escape bad debts by sneaking out of town with his prize attraction, Jumbo the Elephant. As he leads Jumbo across the stage, a police officer stops him and asks: “What are you doing with that elephant?”

Durante tries to hide Jumbo behind him and responds: “What elephant?”

 

And, last but not least, especially for writers:

BIBLIOKLEPT

A person who steals books. From Parade.com

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TKZers: Do you have a favorite expression, phrase, or funny word you like? Please share in the comments.

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Merriam-Webster defines DEEPFAKE as: “a digital image, video, voice, etc. that has been convincingly generated or altered to misrepresent someone as doing or saying something that was not actually done or said.”

What if millions of people watched video of you committing a crime? Except you’re innocent. How can you prove it when cops are ready to shoot first and ask questions later?

Deep Fake Double Down was BookLife’s 2023 best mystery/thriller and Silver Falchion finalist. Buy at this link.