Every morning for two solid weeks I woke at 3 a.m. Not 3:05 or 3:10, exactly 3:00 a.m. sharp. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why.
One or two mornings could be a fluke. Fourteen? No way was that a coincidence.
Like any good writer when faced with a mystery, I researched possible reasons why. More importantly, I needed a solution so I didn’t join the walking dead.
What I learned fascinated me.
Because self-care is vital for writers, I thought I’d share my discovery in case one of you may be experiencing the same thing. This, of course, applies to everyone, not just writers, but I like to make us feel special.
While searching for a cause, I stumbled across an interesting discussion on Quora. An older gentleman mentioned his body had acclimated to waking at the end of each sleep cycle for a bathroom break. After which, he immediately fell back asleep.
Men tend to have an easier time falling asleep after waking due to higher levels of testosterone, which greatly enhances sleep. Hence why so many older women have difficulty sleeping through the night. Testosterone levels and prostrates start to wane as men age, hence the bathroom breaks, but it plummets in women, as we only start with a fraction of what they have.
Could decreasing hormones cause my 3 a.m. wake-up call? And if so, how can I fix it?
When I read the Quora discussion, more questions arose:
- How long is a normal sleep cycle?
- How many sleep cycles do we have per night?
- How can I cancel the 3 a.m. wake-up call without pharmaceuticals?
Whenever possible, I prefer natural remedies. Not only is it healthier but all pharmaceuticals in their infancy stem from nature. Why not skip the middleman?
My.ClevelandClinic.org describes sleep basics as:
“Sleeping doesn’t mean your brain is totally inactive. While you’re less aware of the world around you, you still have plenty of detectable brain activity. That brain activity has predictable patterns. Experts organized those patterns into stages. The stages fall broadly into two categories: rapid eye movement (REM) sleep and non-REM (NREM) sleep.”
During a normal sleep cycle, the brain enters four stages.
When we first fall asleep, we enter stage 1 NREM (non-REM). The lightest stage of sleep, this stage only lasts a few minutes, about 5% of our sleep time. After that, we fall deeper asleep and move into stage 2 NREM, where brain waves slow and have noticeable pauses between short, powerful bursts of electrical activity. Experts think those bursts are the brain organizing memories and information from the time we spent awake.
We then enter stage 3 NREM, the deepest sleep. Brain waves are slow but strong. Our bodies take advantage of deep sleep to repair injuries and reinforce the immune system. We desperately need stage 3 NREM to feel rested upon waking. Without enough of stage 3, we’d feel tired and drained even if we stayed in bed for eight hours.
After the most beneficial stage of sleep, we return to stage 2 NREM, the gatekeeper of REM sleep. REM (rapid eye movement) cycle is where we dream; it makes up about 25% of total sleep time. The first REM cycle is the shortest, around 10 minutes. Each one that follows is longer than the last, up to an hour.
After REM, we start a new sleep cycle and go back into stage 1 or 2 NREM. One full cycle lasts 90 – 120 minutes. If we get a full eight hours of sleep, we should go through four or five cycles per night.
Though fascinating, it still didn’t explain why I kept waking at 3 a.m.
I dug deeper into sleep cycles and possible reasons for an abrupt disruption. Again, I leaned toward a possible decrease in testosterone. He wasn’t the culprit. Only one hormone is released at 3 a.m.—serotonin. But I thought serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins were our friends. They’re our feel-good hormones. How could serotonin be responsible for such an evil act?
Evidently, our bodies release small amounts of serotonin at that ungodly hour to prepare us to wake in a few hours.
Here’s the rub…
Stress can switch the trickle of serotonin, which keeps us from feeling sluggish and groggy during the day, into a massive flood. This surge wakes us immediately rather than acting like a gentle nudge toward wakefulness.
I didn’t think I was stressed. Upon reflection, my endless to-do list had been weighing on me. I’d lost so much writing time (packing, moving, unpacking, acclimating) that I let that negative voice whisper horrible things about me. A writer’s inner critic is a feral beast worthy of a firing squad. Or a public hanging. I usually have an easier time silencing her, but the lack of sleep weakened my fighting spirit.
Regardless, I refused to accept my fate. I don’t mind waking at 4:30ish but 3 a.m. wrecked me.
How did I combat the influx of serotonin?
The answer is so simple. We do it every day, all day. Anyone? Anyone? We’ve talked about this before.
Deep breathing exercises. Specifically, what’s known as box breathing, commonly used by Navy SEALs and other Special Forces.
As soon as I crawl into bed, I take a moment to inhale through my nostrils for a four-count, hold for four, exhale out my mouth for four, and hold again. Four or five rounds works for me. You may be different. Try it. You’ll know when to stop.
The box breathing technique helps to regulate breathing, reduce stress and anxiety, and improve focus and concentration.
By reducing stress at bedtime, my body doesn’t trigger serotonin to flood my system at 3 a.m. Ever since I implemented this nightly routine, I’ve slept till 5:30 – 6 a.m.
Sometimes, the easiest solution is the right one.
So, TKZers, how well do you sleep? Have you tried deep breathing exercises to combat stress and/or improve focus?
3 a.m.? UGH. I’m a morning person and ideally like to get up at 4:00 a.m., because I consider that “morning”–but 3:59 a.m. and before is middle of the night. LOL!
For decades I had no sleep issues, but the last 4 or so years that has been upended. Stress can play a role. And sometimes it’s because of stupidity because I don’t get to bed as early as I should (either I’m trying to cram in one last thing or I fall asleep in my chair, which in my books, is too uncomfortable to count as sleep) but often just don’t sleep well. Your mention of lack of stage 3 sleep hits it on the head — it happens often that even when I get enough hours of sleep I still don’t feel rested when I get up.
I will definitely try practicing that breathing technique and see how it does.
Haha. Three anything o’clock is the middle of the night, I agree. Now if I could only shut off my writer’s brain at bedtime…
Hope the deep breathing works for you, Brenda!
I’m a chronic insomniac. I found this technique call ‘cognitive shuffling’ which I’ve found helpful for my middle-of-the-night wake ups.
Ooh, I’ll have to look that up, Terry. Thanks for the tip.
Hey, Terry! I answered your question from yesterday’s post about T.H.R.U.S.H.
🙂
Funny you wrote this fascinating post today. Just before I read it, I had been discussing sleep with my daughter.
Ever had one of those nights where you know you’re sleeping? And you know you’re dreaming? That’s what I did last night. And since it was a good dream and since I knew I was sleeping ,I remember telling myself to go back to that dream. And I did. Now if could just remember what it was.
We do the box breathing in Pilates, but I forget to do it at night when I can’t sleep. I’ll try that tonight.
What you described sounds a lot like lucid dreaming, Patricia, where you’re aware but asleep. Lucid dreaming can be a gift and a curse, until you learn how to control it. You did the right thing by telling yourself to go deeper into sleep so you’d feel rested upon waking. Took me a while to learn that.
Pilates and yoga often involve box breathing. Hope it helps! Sleep is a commodity we can’t afford to waste.
Sue, I always admire how your problem-solving brain works. Thanks for another fascinating discussion.
Yeah, sleep can be a problem. I suffer from TB (tiny bladder). I also need to knock out that stress squirrel that keeps running round and round in its wheel. On top of that, sometimes the wheel develops a squeak.
Another regular problem is eating nightshades (potatoes, tomatoes, peppers). They cause the rotisserie chicken effect, constantly turning trying to get comfortable. But sometimes I just gotta have mashed potatoes. And what’s a BLT w/o the T?
Do all these food metaphors mean I’m going to bed hungry?
I often wake up at 3-4 a.m. and lie there while my subconscious tosses out ideas for my WIP. They’re usually good enough that it’s worth getting up to write before I forget them.
OTC melatonin usually helps but for some people it causes nightmares and depression so it’s not for everyone.
Didn’t realize melatonin can cause nightmares and depression, Debbie. I’ve heard only good things about it. Thanks for the tip!
Thankfully, I steer clear of nightshades, though I love cooked tomatoes with eggs. Butternut squash is the perfect substitute for mashed potatoes. I’ve even made shepherds pie with it. Delicious! 😊
We’re definitely in the same sleep-challenged boat, Sue. I have to get up several times a night to use the restroom. If I can get back to sleep, like last night, no problem. Moderating my caffeine intake is key. I actually woke fairly rested this morning, which is unusual.
I’ll have to try your box breathing–I’m very familiar with it from yoga. I think stress and our inner critic (I’ve been wrestling with mine a lot lately, too) can be a huge factor for folks like us who think so much.
Hope you have a great week, my friend!
Oh, and I owe you a few astro-photos–April is “galaxy season,” when our night sky looks out into the intergalactic void, and I’ve been taking images of a number of distant island universes.
Looking forward to it, my friend. 🌒🌖🌗
Oh, yes, indeed, Dale. The over-thinkers like us have a terrible time sleeping. It happened me to me last night. I laid there till midnight trying to shut off my brain. Finally had to listen to music (with shut-off timer) to fall asleep. Ugh.
This may interest you… Just read an article this morning about people having more trouble with sleep and productivity during a waning moon. Makes sense. I’ve always been attuned to the moon, and do my best work when it’s waxing or full. 🤷🏻♀️
3 AM is called the Devil’s Hour because it’s when things living and otherwise are active. So, not even demons can sleep then.
Haha! How right you are, Marilynn.
Thanks for this, Sue.
I’m an over-thinker, caregiver for my Dad, mom and grandmom of about 30ish or so, a news hound, AND an author. I think I’m in trouble…ha!
Sometimes the worries and trying to control things and peeps I have no control over makes for some scary, sleepless nights.
I am definitely going to try your box breathing tonight. I’ll let you know how it goes. Or, maybe I should try hanging upside down next to your cute little bat…
🙂
Haha! Just being a mom/grandmom of 30ish kids is enough to cause restless sleep, Deb, never mind all your other responsibilities. Caregivers deserve a special place in heaven.
Isn’t that bat adorable? I knew you’d appreciate him. 🦇 Yes, please let me know how box breathing works for you. Hope it helps!
He is adorable!
I’ve named him Nightwing. There’s a website, no joke, that lists 200 names for pet bats. I found his name there.
https://petpress.net/pet-bat-names/
Have a ball with it…
How fun. Thanks, Deb!
Stress is the great enemy of sleep. I generally enjoy stressful situations where I have to figure out how to solve a difficult problem. (I know. I’m a little strange in that respect.) But when I managed software development groups, the stress was a different kind, and I found myself waking up at 3 a.m. worrying about all sorts of things. Could we deliver on schedule? Suppose one of the team members got sick? Or worse, left the company? … My mind would come up with all kinds of scenarios where things would fall apart.
But then I discovered the old adage “Count your blessings,” and it turned out to be the balm that could put me back to sleep. When I began to focus on all the things I have to be grateful for (and actually start to count them), I would fall back to sleep and leave the problem-solving for daytime. Scientifically, I guess concentrating on gratitude regulates the release of serotonin. To your point, Sue, it also may relax tight muscles and regulate breathing.
I agree, Kay. Though focusing on blessings is beneficial for mind, spirit, and body, I prefer to skip the 3 a.m. wake-up call. Once the serotonin flood wakes me, I can never get back to sleep. Not surprised it helps serotonin release. The human brain, and its control over us, continues to amaze me. The act of counting focuses the brain. Counting blessings is even better. Good tip. 👍🏻
I actually like waking up at 3:00 a.m. I love the quiet and the darkness, enjoy a cup of joe as I play a few games, check a site or two. Then I get some writing in, which gives me a jump on my quota. I do this on my phone in a comfy chair, using a wireless keyboard and Google docs. Around 5:00 or 5:30 I generally go back to bed and catch another few Zs. I think there is something called the “caffeine nap” which is good for alertness. It seems to work for me.
Wow, Jim, I’m amazed you’re able to return to sleep after being awake for 2+ hours. Wish I could! Once I’m up, I’m up for the day, albeit zombie-like.
I used to love to write in the early morning hours before the household woke. Now that I live alone, I’d rather sleep till at least 4:30 a.m. 😉
That caffeine nap hits me about 2pm, after my 3rd & last cuppa. Unfortunately, it sometimes cuts into my reading-for-pleasure time…