Character Based Transitions
Terry Odell
As this is my last post here before TKZ takes its annual holiday break, I’d like to wish everyone my best wishes for a happy holiday season, no matter what you celebrate. And if you don’t celebrate any holidays in December, I wish you a happy month.
Travel played a big part in my 2024, with two big international trips—one to New Zealand, and another to the Faroe Islands. I’m currently working on a book set against some of the places we saw in the Faroes. I’ve mentioned it before. Writing a book set in a place you’ve been turns in into a research trip. Read tax write off.
My Danube Christmas Market book, Double Intrigue, is a stand alone, but when it came to figuring out the bones of a story focused in the Faroes, it seemed more suited to another Blackthorne, Inc. book. Keeping within that series genre, it would have to be a romantic suspense. And, like in Cruising Undercover, it wasn’t going to be a covert ops book, but rather the protagonist would be working in Blackthorne’s Security and Investigations department. I’m too burned out on war and violence to write about it. And, because “romantic suspense” would be in the subtitle, I was going to need a second protagonist in order to meet the expectations of romance readers.
Have I ever mentioned the challenges of writing a romantic suspense? It’s really three books in one. There’s the ‘suspense/mystery’ story, as well as the romance story, which requires character arcs for both the hero and heroine. (Or hero/hero or heroine/heroine, but I haven’t written one of those yet.)
My normal style is to alternate chapters between my POV characters. Which brings me to transitions.
JSB recently wrote that he used a jump cut and Drop Caps to alert the reader to a new scene. I’m old school and use chapters. I used to include both POV scenes in my chapters, but my editor told me that since readers want short chapters these days, to make each POV scene its own chapter.
I recently read a book by a Big Name Author who told the story from the points of view of two protagonists. Not a romance by any stretch. The two characters were working toward a common goal, often going their separate ways. It was a great book, don’t get me wrong, but the author never made it clear (to me, anyway) at the start of each chapter, who the POV character was. It created ‘out of the story’ moments. Now, if I’d been a more astute reader, I might have realized that one protagonist was written in 1st person, and the other was written in third, but that took a lot of time to figure out.
My approach when I’m writing is to make darn sure that every chapter starts out with showing who/where/when/and a POV “flag” to ground my readers. Troubling as it may be to authors, readers might have put the book down, gone to work, come home to a family crisis, or any other interruption and they might not get back to the book for several days. Or, they’re like me, and they just plain forget.
In the current wip, not only do I have 2 POV characters, but they don’t get together on the page until Chapter 14. Until then, they’re in different countries, and their timelines aren’t the same. Not because of time zone issues. One’s several weeks ahead of the other.
I ended up writing each character’s chapters separately, and then weaving them together. Sort of like JSB’s Shadow Stories, because I needed to know what each of them was doing in their own timeline even though they hadn’t met yet, but these stories were on the page, not in my notes. That wasn’t my normal process, and created its own challenges when it came time to weave them together.
If you’re alternating POV characters, and they’re not together, the last sentence of the previous paragraph might not lead into the first one of the next.
Every chapter needs to ground the reader. Who’s the POV character? Where are they? When is it? What are they doing?
I prefer to get this information right up front. Definitely within the first few paragraphs.
The “who” I want in the first paragraph if at all possible.
Things to consider:
- Use the character’s name.
- Show them doing something.
- Show a thought or something only they would know—the POV “flag”.
The vibration of Logan Bolt’s cell phone gave him a welcome excuse for a break from his run.
We have his name: Logan Bolt. He’s running. He’s glad for the interruption, and only he knows this. (flag”)
Or this:
Maddie busied herself with kitchen tasks, trying not to think that Logan might not have been completely honest.
We know the POV character is Maddie. She’s working in the kitchen. Only she will know what she’s thinking. (”flag”)
Doesn’t take much, but you’re grounding your reader.
I did a post a while back dedicated solely to different kinds of transitions, so if you want more, you can find it here.
How do you handle transitions? Tips and Peeves welcome.
And again, Happy Holidays. See you in January.
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Double Intrigue
When your dream assignment turns into more than you bargained for
Shalah Kennedy has dreams of becoming a senior travel advisor—one who actually gets to travel. Her big break comes when the agency’s “Golden Girl” is hospitalized and Shalah is sent on a Danube River cruise in her place. She’s the only advisor in the agency with a knowledge of photography, and she’s determined to get stunning images for the agency’s website.
Aleksy Jakes wants out. He’s been working for an unscrupulous taskmaster in Prague, and he’s had enough. When he spots one of his coworkers in a Prague hotel restaurant, he’s shocked to discover she’s not who he thought she was.
As Shalah and Aleksy cruise along the Danube, the simple excursion soon becomes an adventure neither of them imagined.
Like bang for your buck? I have a new Mapleton Bundle. Books 4, 5, and 6 for one low price.
Terry Odell is an award-winning author of Mystery and Romantic Suspense, although she prefers to think of them all as “Mysteries with Relationships.”
In my WWII thriller, I provided headings that included the chapter number, location, time and date. The POV character is named early in each chapter. (The samples below are from the synopsis; the actual text is past tense.)
Prologue
Löwensburg, Austria
June 30, 1942
Alone, Carl Jung enters the 400’ tunnel into Hitler’s Eagle’s Nest at Löwensburg, Austria.
Chapter 1
OSS Station, Bern, Switzerland
8:00 AM, June 18, 1942
Mary Bancroft arrives by motorcycle for a tryst with Allen Dulles.
Chapter 2
Zurich University Lecture Hall
7:00 PM, June 18, 1942
Jung lectures on “THE SHADOW,” and explains projection.
Chapter 3
Oberkommando Wehrmacht (OKW) Building, Berlin
8:00 PM, June 18, 1942
General Friedrich Olbricht and eight other members of the OKW discuss Hitler’s failings as a leader and his bizarre behavior.
Thanks for sharing, JG. I, for one tend to skip over headings. That’s my bad, but my brain doesn’t seem to want to pay attention. Plus, if I turn the page, that header disappears. But by starting the scene with the POV character, you’ve helped to reground me.
Happy Holidays!
The reader is faced with many things to keep track of in a story. If it gets TOO hard, they might give up for now or forever.
I label every scene that changes the pov character (I have three main characters in rough alternation, but by scenes, usually, not by chapters), the setting, or has a significant time gap from the previous one. A header has whatever changed.
And, like you, I make sure if someone cut all the headers of scenes and chapters, they would STILL know within the first several sentences whose head they were in.
Each pov character is pretty clear based on style, vocabulary, and diction.
Ignore whichever doesn’t suit your reading style – notice or don’t notice my navigation aids – but they’re there if you need them.
My trilogy’s novels are 167K and 186K so far, and I anticipate the third volume will bring the total up to around a half million words. With 64 named characters, it’s MY job to keep readers from getting lost. So readers stay until the story’s end.
It’s not a hard job – it also makes me be precise in plotting (there are a few sections of the story where you read it from different points of view, and the totality gives you the story – maybe a couple per volume. Imperative that I keep it clear and logical, including for myself. Some of these sections have a timeline laid out in minutes.
Haven’t had a single complaint – hope that means readers are having no trouble.
No complaints is good, Alicia! And so true that it’s the author’s job to make it easy for readers to keep things straight, and that goes for all aspects of the novel.
Happy Holidays!
Terry, great points! Grounding the reader ASAP is crucial to keep them in the story.
At the beginning of each scene, I set up the situation by answering the old-style journalist questions of who/what/where/when. The scene itself answers the why.
Happy Hanukkah to you and your family!
Thanks, Debbie, and a Merry Christmas to you and yours.
One very successful author of paranormal suspense gives POVs to over a dozen characters in most books. She will often not indicate who the character is even though they’ve not had a viewpoint or even been mentioned in the novel. They were in a novel three books back in the series. If you need to do that to make the book “suspenseful,” you are a very lazy writer.
I don’t think I’d read more than one book by that author–or if I’d even finish it. I want to know who I’m with at all times, and since I write in a deep POV, I want to be in their heads, too.
Happy Holidays!
I recently finished a book with two POV characters, both written in first person. Although some consecutive chapters started with the same character, the author always put the character’s name after the chapter number.
I’ve read some like that as well, Michelle. As long as the character becomes clear in the text, I’m okay with it. Otherwise, I’m likely to forget because I tend to skim over headers.
Happy Holidays!
I try to start different POV chapters with different craft techniques. Like for one character, it always starts with a concrete action, for another it starts with an observation of the surroundings, or a witty comment on the situation, or straight up fact about what’s going on. Obviously I don’t do this for every chapter because that would get tiring, but the reader knows when something gets trhown across the room it’s my MC. Also I put names in the chapter headings.
Keeping characters consistent is a good way to ground the reader. Thanks for sharing.
Happy Holidays!
Happy Holidays to you, Terry!
I like the way you ground the reader by identifying the character’s name, activity and a thought. That works well for third-person, but authors writing in more than one first-person POV don’t have the option of using the name. I’ve seen authors put the POV character’s name as a chapter subtitle. Are there other ways to identify the first-person narrator early in a new chapter?
Good question, Kay. As I’ve said (more than once, I fear), I’m not too fond of chapter headings because I tend to skip over them, or I turn the page and forget whose head I’m in.
I would suggest, FWIW, that the author try to make sure there’s an identifying action or thought, perhaps, if possible, referring to the other POV character by name so the reader knows it can’t be that one. I’ve never written dual 1st person POVs, so I haven’t had to deal with that one.
Happy Holidays!
I’m like you, Terry. I like to ground the reader in the first sentence. Great post! And Happy Hanukkah…I was in Israel a few years ago during Hanukkah and it was amazing.
Thanks, Patricia. I have a cousin who moved to Israel back in the 60s. It’s not such a great place to be right now, but she’s all right.
Happy Holidays!
I’ve never mastered multiple POV’s, Terry, but I like your tips.
Happy holidays.
Same to you, Elaine. You didn’t get your start in a romance genre where multiple (usually 2) POVs are expected. It can be fun, though, because you get to control what is revealed to the reader by switching POV characters.
Ha. First Person POV. Problem solved!
I did do a novella, FRAMED, which alternates two FP POVs. I put the character name as the chapter header.
Main thing in all this, don’t confuse the reader.
This: Main thing in all this, don’t confuse the reader.
Which is true for all aspects of writing. Obviously, a single POV book, be it told in 1st or 3rd, doesn’t need reminders of the “who”.
It’s still helpful to ground the reader in the where, when, and what in case they’ve put the book down, but that’s been covered in other TKZ posts (including one of mine). 🙂
Happy Holidays, JSB!