Describe Your #StayHome #Quarantine Life in a Book Title (& More)

Jordan Dane



When I believed the stay home order might only be for a month, I was determined to make the most of the isolation. After all, the end was in sight, right? But the Corona Virus has such dire outcomes for some that I get the sense this won’t be over soon.

I’m primary caregiver for my parents. We’re fortunate they have their health (and humor) but that doesn’t keep me from worrying about them. Their independent living apartment complex has implemented tighter rules to restrict access for their facility to outside visitors (except in certain circumstances). I’m grateful. They have a restaurant that delivers to their door and they are encouraged to stay home and order.

My parents celebrating Willie Nelson’s birthday. Don’t ask.

But I miss seeing my mom and dad. I miss hugging them. I miss my siblings. We talk on the phone and text all the time as a family, but it’s not the same. I’m sure you guys know what I mean. I miss what I can’t have and it’s getting old.

Basically the walls of my home have closed in on me. I fixated on stocking my shelves with grocery items I don’t normally eat. I haven’t resorted to SPAM yet, but I’m sure that day will come. You know what they say–it can’t go bad if it was never good in the first place. Did you know that you can slice SPAM thin and use it to oil your furniture? It’s quite versatile–if you can put up with the flies–but I digress.

What if this quarantine order lasts for months? I would need a different mindset for the long haul. I might have to exercise or get rid of my weight scale, but in the mean time, I could use my TKZ family for a little fun. We can all use a good laugh these days.

DISCUSSION (Something for everyone):

1.) Describe YOUR QUARANTINE LIFE in a book title.

2.) What movie title best describes your SEXY SIDE?

3.) What book or movie title best describes PARENTING?

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About Jordan Dane

Bestselling, critically-acclaimed author Jordan Dane’s gritty thrillers are ripped from the headlines with vivid settings, intrigue, and dark humor. Publishers Weekly compared her intense novels to Lisa Jackson, Lisa Gardner, and Tami Hoag, naming her debut novel NO ONE HEARD HER SCREAM as Best Books of 2008. She is the author of young-adult novels written for Harlequin Teen, the Sweet Justice thriller series for HarperCollins., and the Ryker Townsend FBI psychic profiler series, Mercer's War vigilante novellas, and the upcoming Trinity LeDoux bounty hunter novels set in New Orleans. Jordan shares her Texas residence with two lucky rescue dogs. To keep up with new releases & exclusive giveaways, click HERE

44 thoughts on “Describe Your #StayHome #Quarantine Life in a Book Title (& More)

  1. Not original, but the first thing that comes to mind: Be Careful What You Ask For.

    Have I mentioned that I’ve taken to driving to a grocery store parking lot and working in the car in order to be “around people”?

  2. Instead, may I just make up book titles?

    * Honest Engine: Why I Can’t Put My Car Back Together Right
    * The Loan Ranger: My Years As a Collector For The Mob
    * Nine Fingers Are Just As Good: Mistakes You Should Never Make While Collecting For The Mob
    * What’s That Smell?: Why Skunk Farms Are Just Never a Good Idea
    * I Dude It: Why Tweety Bird Never Made a Good Cowboy
    * Forget The Cloak and Dagger: Why My Store For Spies Failed
    * Look Hear: Why You Can Do Both At The Same Time
    * Flying By The Seat of My Pants: Why I’m Paying Back The U.S. Navy For Losing Their Jet Fighter
    * Wagon Master: Why The Profession Doesn’t Pay So Well Any More
    * A Real Major League Scout: Tonto’s Horse Tells All
    * The Lost Dutchman’s Mine: Who Else Would Want Him?

    And so it goes.

  3. I’m in more of a singing mood. “The Beat Goes On” minus the grocery store, the gym, and visits with a small group of friends and family. I’m retired and an introvert so not that much has changed.

    Lack of romance, “What Is This Thing Called Love?”

    Parents, “Long Ago and Far Away.” My dad’s been dead 39 years, my mom 9 years.

  4. When I went to Walmart they were out of Spam. lol. My neighbors eat it…I’m not there yet–too much of it when I was a kid. If there was a movie titled Everything Different but the Same, that would be my life in Covid19.

    What sexy side?

    The Parent Trap

  5. 1.) Describe YOUR QUARANTINE LIFE in a book title.

    STIFF by Mary Roach

    2.) What movie title best describes your SEXY SIDE?

    I would love to think I’m Jessica Rabbit in WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? But lately, I feel more like MRS. DOUBTFIRE. 😉

    3.) What book or movie title best describes PARENTING?

    “The Kid” is 42, but he’s still my baby. BIG (1988)

  6. Quarantine title: The Devil’s Workshop.
    Coming up short in the sex and parenting categories.

    However…the adorable photo of your parents sparked the idea for a quarantine short story. A couple busts out of their senior living lockdown, steals a car that runs on biodiesel, and goes “on the road again” in an outlaw pilgrimage to meet their idol Willie Nelson.

    Big virtual hugs to you, my friend!

  7. Jordan, I LOVE YOUR PARENTS! Wish I could meet them. And BTW, I made spam and blueberry pancakes the other day. Don’t knock it til you try it. It was something all three of us ate-me, my husband, and the canine kid. 🙂

    So, 1.) Describe YOUR QUARANTINE LIFE in a book title. Just downloaded A Life Intercepted, by Charles Martin. And there’s Twisting in the Wind, not yet written, but I’m workin’ on it!

    2.) What movie title best describes your SEXY SIDE? Gone With The Wind. Need I say more?

    3.) What book or movie title best describes PARENTING? It’s a toss-up between Braveheart and Terminator.

    Glad we have a sense of humor here at TKZ…not seein’ it many other places. Keep smilin’, my friends!

    • I have a long family history with Spam. Friends send me SPAM gifts. I have a spam clock & a book on the many uses of Spam. And it’s a HUGE thing in Hawaii for breakfast.

      Thanks for the chuckles, Deb.

  8. My life is more like a sitcom than a movie.


    My sister and I share the care of our father, 97. The three of us have decided to ‘stay in place’ at her house. It has been 10 days! After combining everything taken from my freezer and pantry and adding it to her’s, I think we could easily last 3 months of staying in place, but can WE last 3 months?

    Fortunately, I only live 18 miles away, so if you go straight from garage to garage, we can take breaks from one another. So far not necessary.

    I thank the gods for AcornTV – tons of British shows we haven’t seen. If the electricity goes out – there could be carnage.

    Keep safe!

    • Omg! That IS a sitcom. It’s hard to be without my parents (in their 90s) but more daunting to be 24/7 under the same roof as my “hard of hearing” dad. Oy!

  9. Ha! I like Days of Whine and Dozes.
    These are made-up titles

    My Quarantine Life –
    12 Steps for Surviving & Thriving During the Pandemic ( and yes, I came up with 12 – in the baking stage now)

    Sexy side –
    Nobody is Coming to the Door

    Parenting –
    (my son’s family lives a block away but might as well be with my daughter on her island in the South Pacific.)

  10. I had never heard the expression it can’t go bad if it was never good in the first place. I like it.

    Never had Spam in my life. I love the term for generic spam: potted meat product. That pretty much kills the appetite. If there is a vegetarian equivalent I will studiously avoid it.

    My quarantine is best described by the Marcia Ball song Clean My House

    I live alone, so the sexy title is best left unsaid. Maybe I should watch In the Realm of the Senses Later. Or maybe Body Heat.

    Parenting: The Aristocats

  11. New Zealand has a pretty strict lockdown going on at the moment. Left my house for the first time in a week and a half to go grocery shopping yesterday! The supermarket’s policy now is one out-one in. The line moved fairly quickly though.

    My quarantine life in a book title? Remote Control by Andy McNabb. I’m still working from home- a full 40 hours a week.

    My sexy side? Kiss of the Dragon. Jet Li and Bridget Fonda movie. It won’t win awards, but lots of action. LOL.

    Parenting? Don’t have much luck in that department! Maybe Pride and Prejudice, the movie, with Colin Firth. Such a Daddy!!

  12. I remember Spam from childhood. My roommate said that her dad used it for bait when he went fishing! I don’t mind the taste so much but it is way too salty for me. Honey is better. It never goes bad.

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