@JordanDane
JordanDane
Apologies for the lack of a post today, TKZers. I’m dealing with an increase in personal demands regarding my aging parents. My siblings and I are fortunate that our parents are in reasonably good health and are still living in their HUGE home, but that’s where things get crazy. None of us want to intervene in their decision making process. We’re sure that will come eventually, but it’s hard to know what’s best for them when they still have steam left in their mid to late 80s.
Are any of you dealing with something like this?
My dad is adamant he wants to stay put or move into a bigger home, when my mom wants something smaller and newer so there are no maintenance issues. We’ve discussed my husband and I living with them or moving into a situation where we both buy homes next door, but I am a firm believer in privacy for married couples. My dad is hard of hearing (and won’t admit it) and has the TV blaring all day on news stations. I couldn’t work under those conditions. We’d have to invest in a headset or make sure he has his own needs taken care of, independent of the rest of us under the same roof. There is no easy solution to the living arrangements, but they are realizing something needs to happen.
They also need services to help them day to day. Services like: grocery delivery, maid service, perhaps assisted living, but my father refuses to start anything that reminds him he is aging. Weird, I know, but his outlook has kept him “young” with an active mind so it’s hard to tell him otherwise and I don’t know if I want to. He’s still driving, but his days of being behind the wheel are numbered. He’s beginning to realize it.
So this week my mom has leg pain and is wheelchair bound or on a walker. We’ve got med appts lined up and I’ve been taking her since I can question the doctor and make sure she’s getting his replies right. She writes down her ailments and goes down her list to make sure she covers things, but it helps to have someone younger with her to make sure she’s explaining things right. That way we can both talk about it after and I can discuss further with my siblings.
So I’d appreciate any input from you on how you’re dealing with aging parents. I need commiseration, people. Any help?
Thanks my TKZ family!
Careful what you wish for
When your first book was published, was the experience everything you dreamed it would be? For me, it was quite different than what I expected. In 2005, when I first walked into a national chain bookstore and saw my brand new novel on the new release table, it was a 
rush. I was proud. I felt like I was on top of the world. I couldn’t wait to see customers gather it up in their arms and rush home to read it. Then I stood back and watched as shoppers picked up my book, glanced at the back cover copy, and put it down with no more interest than in choosing one banana over another at the supermarket.
Didn’t they realize that book cost me 3 years of my life? How could they pass judgment on it within 5 seconds?
Reality set in. Not everyone will want to read my book. Not everyone will like it if they do read it. And I found out rather fast that once a book is published, the real work begins.
Today, I’m about to start (with co-author, Lynn Sholes) my eighth novel. My books have won awards, become bestsellers, and been published in many languages. And yet, every day I face the reality that the true test of my success or failure is what the customer does when they stand over that literary produce bin and pick what they think is the ripest banana. It’s about as scary as it can get.
As a full-time writer, I have the best job in the world. I would not trade it for anything. But a word to anyone dreaming of publishing their first book: be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.
So when your first book came out, was it everything you dreamed of? And if you’re still working at getting that first banana out there, what are you dreaming it will be like?
————–
Coming this spring: THE SHIELD by Sholes & Moore
Einstein got it wrong!
Have you attended a virtual conference yet?
Cyber Conferences – A Growing Alternative to Costly “in-Person” Conferences?
by Jodie Renner, editor & author
(TKZ’s beloved “den mother,” Kathryn Lilley, is feeling under the weather today, so I volunteered to fill in for her. Get well soon, Kathryn!)
Live, in-person conferences — stimulating and great for networking
Do you attend many writers’ conferences and/or book festivals? Since I started editing books 7 years ago, I’ve been to a lot of writers’ conferences (including Thrillerfest & Craftfest 4 times) and a few great book festivals (notably the Tucson Festival of Books). I’ve also presented workshops and participated in panels at several in the last few years.
Overall, I’ve found writers’ conferences to be a stimulating and enriching experience, not to mention great for networking and selling books. And best of all, I’ve made some lasting connections that have turned into great Facebook and blog friends. And finally met up with other blog and social media friends in person!
For a detailed, comprehensive list of “real” in-person writers’ conferences in North America in 2014, click HERE.
But traveling to conferences and book festivals can be costly and time-consuming.
The down side is it can get really expensive flying across the country and continent to attend live conferences and book festivals! (I’m in Canada and an excellent one I attended was in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico.) Also, for a rather hyper, type-A introvert like me, all that stimulation can be exhausting! By the second or third day I end up missing great stuff to grab a nap!
So if your finances are tight or you just don’t have time to interrupt your paying job or writing schedule, cyber conferences might be the way to go. Now we just need more of them!
Advantages to attending an online conference:
Virtual conferences are a great way to get a lot of useful info and even interact with presenters without getting out of your sweats – or pyjamas! I have to admit it’s great doing these through video conferencing. And more importantly, without spending big bucks on plane fares, conference registration, hotel costs, restaurant meals, etc. Not to mention the packing and traveling time.
Presenting a webinar – a learning curve.
Recently, Caralee Hubbard, the president of the Calgary Assoc. of Freelance Editors (CAFE) contacted me about presenting a webinar at an upcoming Cyber Symposium for Editors & Writers. The topic was a breeze – we quickly agreed on “Spark up Your Stories – Add Tension, Suspense, & Intrigue.” I’ve written lots of blog posts and a whole book (Writing a Killer Thriller) on this subject and knew I had lots of value to offer fiction writers and editors, so that was the easy part.
But I’d never presented a webinar, and with my busy schedule, have only viewed a few so far. In addition, their preferred format was PowerPoint for the main screen, with me smaller in the corner, speaking live. That sounded fine, except that I’d also never presented a PowerPoint before, so I had two new skills to learn on time for the conference on April 11. But I’m not one to shy away from a challenge, and I figured it was time I learned to do webinars and audio/video presentations anyway, as I could apply that skill to present short clips on my websites, blog, or YouTube on various topics to do with on writing compelling fiction or indie publishing.
So between editing, packing to move across the country, and doing income taxes, I’ve been learning
how to present a webinar and also PowerPoint, starting with getting the right equipment.
I think I’ve got the hang of it all now!
A few great virtual writers’ conferences I /we missed:
Indie ReCon
Too bad I didn’t know about Indie ReCon’s FREE virtual conference, 2013, for indie authors. Events and presentations included costs of self-publishing, building a publishing team, and using social media. In 2014, they decided to go back to a live conference, held in February. It will be interesting to see what happens for 2015!
The 2013 Muse Online Writers Conference, Oct. 7-13, 2013
This one looked great! Missed it? Mark your calendar in advance for the 2014 Muse Online Writers Conference on Oct. 20-26.
WANACon International, February 21-22, 2014 – Kristen Lamb’s excellent WANAtribe conference – a recent one I’m kicking myself for missing.
Here’s the info from before the conference:
“Welcome to WANACon Feb 2014. The conference you can should attend in your PJs.
“Why spend your hard-earned money on plane tickets, overpriced food and hotels when you can have the conference experience right from the comfort of your own home? YES. WANA has made it that easy with live presentations in our state-of-the art virtual classrooms. This is as close to the conference experience as possible, only every seat is the BEST seat.
“WANACon is a truly interactive entirely-online Writer’s Conference. No Yahoo loops or text based online conferences here. You’ll be able to chat with the presenters, see most presenters via their webcam, see a slideshow or the presenter’s screen, type text questions if the pets or children are making noise, and of course, pass notes behind the moderator’s back.”
And if, like me, you missed this conference, you can still purchase recordings of the various excellent presentations. Check it out HERE.
Two notable upcoming online conferences:
Nonfiction Writers Conference, May 7-9, 2014. This is their 4th annual cyber conference, so these people really know what they’re doing! Looks like they’ve established an excellent model for other writers’ conferences to emulate.
Their brief description: “Once again we will feature 15 speakers over three days, all conducted via teleseminar. No travel required–attend from the comfort of your couch via phone or Skype! Recordings and transcripts are available, depending on your registration option.”
And I love this feature: You can choose your registration option, depending on whether you want to save money and just listen and view live on their schedule, ($99), have both live access and downloadable recordings of all the sessions ($199), or opt for live access plus recordings and Word doc transcripts to review at your leisure ($299).
Cyber Symposium, a PD Event for Editors & Writers, April 11-12, 2014. This online event, organized by the Editors’ Association of Canada – Prairie Provinces Branch (EAC-PPB) and the Calgary Association of Freelance Editors (CAFE), is the virtual conference where I’ll be presenting my webinar called “Spark up Your Story: Adding Tension, Suspense, & Intrigue.”
Check it out here and scroll down for info on the webinars and presenters. Eight webinars are scheduled, on a variety of topics of interest to both writers and editors. As Caralee Hubbell, President of CAFE, says, “See you in cyberspace!”
Readers – do you know of any other good upcoming virtual conferences of interest to writers and/or self-publishers? Or have you had any experiences attending or presenting at cyber conferences? Please share in the comments below!
And by the way, I just found out that my editor’s writing guide, FIRE UP YOUR FICTION (formerly titled Style That Sizzles & Pacing for Power), in addition to having won a Silver Medal from FAPA and an Honorable Mention from Writer’s Digest, is now a finalist in the ForeWord Reviews Book of the Year Awards and also just received a great review from IndieReader.
My Favorite Irish Writer
In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, I’ve been thinking about my favourite Irish writer, Edna O’Brien, and just how influential she was to me when I was a ‘formative’ (i.e.: terribly young and earnest) writer. I was first introduced to her as a teenager and fell in love with her lyrical, stream-of-consciousness approach to writing. Much of her work inspired my own (far less stellar) writing attempts. She was also so quintessentially Irish, that her work resonated with me at a time when I was particularly fascinated with Irish history (my family has Irish blood and I do believe in a kind of genetic memory that draws me to the places and stories of my ancestors).
In recent years I’ve not read as much of O’Brien’s work and I wonder if that’s partly due to the fact that her books were inextricably tied up with a particular period of my life. I was also
worried that if I re-read her old books now, their impact and beauty would have somehow diminished over the years. I’ve often found that when I go back to a novel which had a huge impact on me at one time in my life, I’m disappointed that it no longer has any such impact at all.
But in anticipation of the day that celebrates all things Irish, I sought out my Edna O’Brien novels on my bookshelves and started leafing once more through their pages. I was relieved to find the lyricism of her writing still drew me in and was delighted to feel the same sense of anticipation, wonder and sadness I used to feel when I read her work. I thought I’d share a short passage – from the opening to her 1994 novel, House of Splendid Isolation:
It’s like no place else in the world. Wild. Wildness. Things find me. I study them. Chards caked with clay. Dark things. Bright things. Stones. Stones with a density and with a transparency. I hear messages. In the wind and in the passing of the wind. Music, not always rousing, not always sad, sonorous at times. Then it dies down. A silence. I say to it, have you gone, have you gone. I hear stories. It could be myself telling them to myself or it could be these murmurs that come out of the earth. The earth so old and haunted, so hungry and replete. It talks. Things past and things yet to be. Battles, more battles, bloodshed, soft mornings, the saunter of beasts and their young. What I want is for all the battles to have been fought and done with. That’s what I pray for when I pray. At times the grass is like a person breathing, a gentle breath, it hushes things.
As O’Brien writes at the very start of this book: History is everywhere. It seeps into the soil, the sub-soil. Like rain, or hail, or snow, or blood. As a writer of historical fiction, I love being reminded of this from a wonderful writer who captures the essence of place, history, and emotion, so beautifully.
So do you have a favorite Irish writer, and if so, what is it about their work you find so compelling? Or, if you aren’t as into Irish history as I am, which writer captures for you the stories of your ancestors?
Now You Can Call Yourself A Writer
@jamesscottbell
There was a bit of a dustup recently over the issue of who should be “allowed” to be called an “author.” The incendiary post can be found here. A response, here.
Personally, I’ve always preferred the term writer. But I think it does come with a qualification. That is the subject of this post.
One comment I’ve often seen is, “Writers write.” Or, “If you write, you’re a writer.” That always reminds me of Jack Torrance in The Shining, and his page after page of All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. That ain’t writing, it’s typing.
If someone takes a nine iron, with no clue how to grip it or swing it in any reliable manner, and goes out hacking up perfectly good grass day after day after week after year, I would not call that person a golfer. To play golf so it doesn’t harm flora, fauna or people on the next fairway requires at least minimal practice and instruction.
This kerfuffle over labels reminded me of a journal handed down to me by a family friend, written sometime in the 1940s. It is the unpublished memoir of a pulp writer named William “Wild Bill” Armbrewster, who was born in 1893 and made his bones with the legendary Black Mask. Note: This paragraph is fiction. I made up Armbrewster the other day and typed out the following entry. I like the guy. I may bring him back in a future post. In any event, here’s a clip from his journal.
He was just standing there, holding his hat. He was maybe twenty-two, twenty-three, which made him a kid to me.
“Are you Mr. Armbrewster, the writer?” he said.
“Right now I’m Mr. Armbrewster, the stinker. Who are you?”
“My name’s Benny. Benny Wannabe.”
“So?”
“May I sit down?”
“If you buy me a drink. See that man over there behind the bar? In the red coat? His name is Joe. Go tell him to make another for Mr. Armbrewster and then you can sit.”
The kid romped off like a happy puppy. I looked at my typewriter and tried to make my detective say something witty. But he just sat there, the piker.
The kid came back and set a fresh one before me.
“Now, what can I do for you?” I said.
“Well, I…I’m a writer. I’ve read every story you’ve ever written. I think you’re the best. Even better than Hammett and Chandler.”
I was starting to like this kid.
“And I just wanted to meet you,” he said. “Somebody at the hotel said you like to work here, and so I took a chance and here you are.”
“You say you’re a writer, eh?”
“That’s right.”
“What have you written?”
“A short story.”
“One short story?”
He smiled, nodded. I took a snort of Martini. Then I popped the olive in my mouth, chewed, and scowled.
“Don’t call yourself a writer just yet, kid,” I said.
“But a writer writes,” he said. “So I’ve been told.”
I ripped the sheet I’d been working on out of the typewriter, crumpled it, and tossed it on the pile on the floor. “No,” I said. “A writer works.”
Benny Wannabe cocked his head, like that dog listening to the gramophone.
“Look, kid, it’s fine to want to write. It’s a hell of a business, though, and if you want to make any money at this thing, you have to work, and hard. You have to look at it as a craft, not some ethereal vapor dancing through your noggin, and sweat and fight until you figure out how to do it. Then you have to put your stuff out there, get rejected, fight some more and keep on writing and fighting and typing, until you die.”
“Gee,” Benny said.
I closed my eyes.
“I have my story with me!” The kid fished out some folded pages and handed them to me. I scowled again, then read the first paragraph.
The wind was a torrent that day, the day of my birth, the day of my beginning life’s sad yet remarkable sojourn, and the trees were golden with leaves that looked like little pots of gold with rainbows coming out of them, full of the promise of life and song and the iridescence of possibility. Suddenly, a shot rang out.
“I’m going to need another drink,” I said.
“Right away!”
When the kid came back I said, “Listen, Benny, do you really want to be a writer?”
He nodded.
“Not just so you can call yourself one. I mean, so you actually have a chance to make some lettuce at it. You do want to make lettuce, don’t you?”
“Oh, yes sir. I believe in lettuce.”
“Do you have a job, Benny?”
“I’m a writer!”
“Not yet you’re not. I mean, do you have any source of income?”
He shook his head.
“What are you using for dough?”
“My savings. I bought a train ticket, then got a hotel room down the street. The last of it I used on, um, your drinks.”
“You want my advice, Benny?”
“Oh, yes!”
I took a fin out of my pocket and slapped it on the table. “Buy yourself a train ticket home. Go back and get a job and marry the girl next door. Run for mayor or dog catcher. Join the Elks. Do anything but write.”
Benny’s face fell harder than Max Schmeling in the second Louis fight. He said nothing, trembled a little, and tears starting pooling in his eyes.
I looked at him for a long time. Fresh-faced kid, right off a turnip truck, but with a dream. Sort of like a kid I once knew a long time ago. Born in Cleveland, dropped out of college to ride the rails and see life, hoping to gather enough material to make himself a real writer, going off to war and coming home and writing for years without a sale, but never stopping because of the hunger for it, the love of it. I could see just a spark of that in the kid’s misty lamps.
“Okay,” I said. “You’ll need a job to keep a roof over your head. Go on over to Al’s Market on Sunset, tell him Bill Armbrewster sent you. Only don’t embarrass me.”
“I won’t, sir!”
“Then you agree to meet with me once a week, and write what I tell you to write, for a year. You willing to do that, Benny?”
“Yes, sir!”
“All right then. Now you can call yourself a writer. Take the fin. Go tell Joe we want a couple of egg-salad sandwiches and some soup. And between here and the bar make sure you grow a thick skin.”
“Yes, sir!”
I liked it that the kid’s enthusiasm was back, but enthusiasm only gets you so far in life. The ones who make it are the ones who can get kicked in the teeth, have all the stuffing knocked out of them, and still get up and come back typing.
If this Benny Wannabe could do that, he’d maybe make a real writer yet.
So what about you? When do you think someone should be called a writer?
All Aboard!…
…well…not allaboard. Many are called, some will enter, and a few will be chosen. Am I talking about heaven? No. I’m talking about Amtrak. We all know what Amtrak is, but how many of us have ever taken a trip by passenger train? Not me; the closest I’ve ever gotten to a trip by train have been rides around the parks on the choo-choos at the Columbus Zoo and Hershey Park. Amtrak, however, is sponsoring an “Amtrak Residency for Writers,” believe it or not. It is happening right now; you can apply here until March 31, 2014. The application includes the submission of a writing sample which will give you the opportunity to strut your creative stuff as well. Amtrak representatives will start selecting winners on March 17 and keep doing so through March 31. Amtrak will choose twenty-four winners. The residency will be for six months…I’m kidding about the duration: if you are one of the very lucky winners, the terms of the residency will be two to five days, and it appears that Amtrak will select your destination. You will be provided with a private sleeper car with a bed, a desk and a window. Gamblers need not apply (again, just kidding. I can’t resist. Hope you’re not, um, keeping track.). I do regret to note, however, that Brother Basil Sands is not eligible; please read the contest rules carefully to see why.
This contest looks as if it would be just the berries if you are looking to jump start your next (or even your current) writing project via exposure to inspiring scenery in an environment removed from your normal distractions of daily living. I have submitted an application, and while I would love to be one of the winners, I’d like to see at least one of you, our loyal and wonderful visitors to The Kill Zone, listed as a winner as well. Should you be selected, all I ask in return for alerting you to this wonderful possibility is that 1) you dedicate your completed novel to me and 2) you insist upon a clause in your ancillary rights agreement that I am to be given a featured role in the film version of your work. That’s all. Wink wink.
Good luck. And if one of you should be a winner, please let us know. For now, however, please tell us: if you are selected as one of the winners, where would you like to go? And how would you schedule your daily writing activity?
Reader Friday: Alien Landing
13 Ways to Sell More Books
By Elaine Viets
I’m a woman with a one-track mind. Catnapped!, my 13th Dead-End Job mystery, is published May 6, and I’ve been thinking about easy ways to sell my latest hardcover. I’ve updated my Website and I have a new book trailer. Brace yourself for a storm of BSP. I’m using my Website as examples for many of these tips.
1. Support your local bookstores throughout the year. Even if you publish only e-books, you need to hand sell your work. Cultivate bookstores. If you can’t afford a book when you visit, buy something you can afford – a cup of coffee, a bookmark or card.
2. Ask the store manager or mystery section bookseller if they’d like a copy of your novel or an ARC, an Advance Reading Copy or uncorrected proof. The key word is “ask.” Don’t just hand the bookseller a copy. Bookstore offices and break rooms are piled high with books and ARCs. Sadly, many of them are never read.
3. Your publisher may ask you to link to Amazon and barnesandnoble.com on your Website. Also link to at least one independent bookseller. Better yet, link to IndieBound. Check out my Website at http://www.elaineviets.com
4. Check all your Website links often, including the ones to your books. You’d be surprised how often booksellers change those links. Your site could be sending readers to buy remaindered hardcovers or used copies of your books. You won’t receive royalties for those sales. I have 22 books in two series and I list them in order. Readers love to know the book order. Check out my Novels page. http://www.elaineviets.com/new/novels/default.asp
5. Keep your Website updated. Add your new books, awards, short stories, and large print editions of your work. Have bios ready in three versions: 50 words, 100 words, and expanded. I have a Press section. http://www.elaineviets.com/new/press/default.asp
6. Invest in professional author photos. I know, you hate having your picture taken. I do, too. And your husband/sister/talented niece takes good photos. But you need a public face. Suck it up, and get the photos. Women writers, get your hair done and have a pro do your make-up. And please, don’t go a “glamour shots” studio for your makeup. A wedding makeup artist is a better choice. Put those photos on your Website so they can be downloaded by the media. Here’s one of mine – and I’m wearing freaking false eyelashes. I suffered and you should, too. http://www.elaineviets.com/new/press/default.asp
7. You cannot master all social media. Learn which ones work best for you – Facebook, Twitter, Good Reads, Pinterest – and don’t feel guilty about avoiding the others. My Twitter handle is @evmysterywriter
8. Your Facebook and Twitter posts should match your personality as a novelist. If you write funny novels, make your posts light and entertaining. Find me on Facebook at ElaineVietsMysteryWriter
9. Constant bragging and sales pitches can lose you Facebook friends. You’ll sell more books if you give your FB friends something to enjoy just for the heck of it.
10. If you can’t Tweet or post anything interesting, don’t post that day. Only your mom cares if you had a ham sandwich for lunch.
11. Never post anything on Facebook that you wouldn’t put on a billboard. Facebook friends are not the same as real friends.
12. Resist the temptation to make political Tweets or Facebook posts. Readers want to escape politics with a good novel – yours.
13. If you don’t like a bookstore’s public relations person, sit tight. PR people move on quickly, especially the bad ones. At a local bookstore, the PR person wouldn’t even allow me to leave a mysteryfor the staff. He’s gone, and the PR person who replaced him is an author’s dream. He’s asked me to do two events at his store next month. Things can change for the better.
Rereading the Same Book
Recently, I’ve returned to reading The Lost Prince by Frances Hodgson Burnett. I like his other stories as well: A Little Princess, Little Lord Fauntleroy, The Secret Garden. These historical novels have tropes that appeal to me, and I could read them many times over. But who wants to reread something you’ve already perused when you have a wealth of new books on your shelves and on your ebook reader?
I feel guilty rereading a volume when I “should” be reading a friend’s work to give a review, a book I’ve obtained at a conference, a freebie on my Kindle, or the books sitting on my shelves for years begging for attention. How about the newest books by my favorite authors? Shouldn’t they get priority? Why am I wasting time reading something I’ve already enjoyed when authors who are alive and well clamor for my reading hours?
I don’t even reread my own books, although I’d like to return to my original Light-Years trilogy and immerse myself in that world again. At least I had the chance to do so when I revised these titles for their digital editions.
How about you? Do you ever go back and pick a book off your dusty shelves or buy the digital version of a book you’ve already read? Does it make you feel guilty that you’re not sitting with a current novel whose author can use your customer review?
Do you have a system to prioritize the books you read? For newer books, I’ll read the next installment by a favorite author or a book by a friend before titles by an unknown writer. The beauty of the digital age is that when you discover a writer you like, you can order the next book in a series right away on your Kindle or Nook. So the historical novel I bought at SleuthFest and am reading now, by an author previously unknown to me, is number one in a series. I’m not even halfway through it, and I know I’ll want the next two books.
This points out two issues about our current age that are both troublesome and exciting. The next books in a series are literally at your fingertips. Push a few buttons, and they are yours. That’s the good thing.
However, I discovered this book as it lay out for display at the on-site conference bookstore. Discoverability is the hot issue today. Most of us with small press or who are indie published do not see our books in bookstores, thus browsing readers will never discover us that way. If I hadn’t spotted this intriguing cover, I’d never have known about this writer. And that’s sad. We have to turn to free books online or book group recommendations to discover new authors whose series we might decide to follow.
Is there room for the older volumes sitting on your shelves, for those books you’d love to read again if only you had the time?
Are You Ready For Your Mystery Agent Date?
I was at SleuthFest last week and after my panel was over, a woman came up to talk. We had met the previous year, and she wanted to thank me because evidently I had said something that inspired her to quit her soul-killing job and finish her book.
Now, I remembered her but I didn’t remember what I had said to her. If you read this blog regularly you know I am a realist about this business so I’m pretty sure I didn’t pull a Pollyanna with her. I’ll do what I can to encourage other writers just starting out, but I won’t give false hope because that is just cruel.
So last week, I didn’t really know what to say to this woman. I mean, just because I might like skydiving and have managed to get seven or eight jumps under my belt, I’m not going to push someone else out of the plane. Only they know if they have the guts and can afford the parachute. But she was very excited, and said she was very happy with her decision, so we talked some more.
It went something like this:
“So, are you submitting it yet?” I asked.
“Oh yeah,” she said, “And I got a letter from Big-Name Agent at the Gigantoid Talent Management. He asked to see some sample chapters.”
“Great! That’s farther than most folks get,” I said. “What about the others?”
“Others?”
“Other agents. What did they have to say about your query?”
“Well, I only sent out two. And Big-Name said he had to have an exclusive. So I’m not doing anything until I hear back from him.”
“Oh,” I said. “How long has Mr. Big had your chapters now?”
“About four months.”
Okay…can you figure out where I’m going with this?
This woman had worked hard for three years to write her book. She had gone to writing conferences and workshops. She had done her homework. She had quit her job so she had enough time to follow her dream. (Don’t worry; she had other means of support, so that’s not the issue here).
But then she fell for the first guy who said “maybe.” As in, “Yeah, maybe we’ll hook up. Maybe I’ll give you a call someday, baby. I don’t know when exactly — maybe even never. But in the meantime, I don’t want you to talk to any other guys.”
Now I realize Mr. Big was her Dream Date. And it’s easy to get blinded by good biceps and blue eyes. Or in this case, a 212 area code and a client list heavy with bestselling authors. But would you wait around for this guy?
Of course not. If your book is finished and you’re ready to send it out into the cold, cruel world, why would you do anything that lessens your chances of success? Finding a good agent — no, let’s correct that; not just a good agent but the right agent — is maybe the single most important business decision you make as a writer. This person will be your advocate, your guide, your champion, your career-coach. And the best agent for you might not be Mr. Big at Gigantoid Talent Management. The best agent for you might be Miss Sincere at Small But Personal Inc. Maybe even Mr. Cassius at Lean And Hungry House. But most definitely, the best agent for you is the one who sees something so special in your work that he or she plucked you out of the 200 to 300 queries they get every week. The best agent for you is someone who will believe in you even in those dark moment when you don’t even believe in yourself anymore.
Exclusives are bad things — for writers. Why? Because you are giving that one agent the power to tie up your manuscript for months. Odds are, the sample chapters you sent will be rejected. (Maybe for reasons that have nothing to do with its quality remember). But by agreeing to an exclusive, you have lost six to eight precious months in what is a long and tortuous process even in the best of circumstances. Until an agent agrees to take you on as a client, they just don’t have the right to control your work like that.
If you won’t take my word on this, I bow to a higher source. Here is Miss Snark Literary Agent on the subject.:
“Exclusives stink…To ask an author to tie up his/her work on open ended terms is disrespectful and counter productive. It’s also a lazy ass way to do business. You can’t provide her an exclusive read and you shouldn’t. If she doesn’t see the merit of that, why would you want to work with her?”
But, you say, Mr. Big said he liked her stuff. What if she turns around now and sends out a hundred queries and he finds out?
Worse case scenario: No other agent is interested. She is back sitting by the phone waiting for Mr. Big to call.
Best case scenario: She gets responses from forty agents who want to see her sample chapters. Then ten want to sign her up. She now has the luxury of choice. She can talk to them all, make a measured thoughtful decision and find the agent who is the best fit — for her.
I wouldn’t sit home waiting for Mr. Big to call. Don’t know about you, but I had enough of that crap in high school.
So don’t give away your power to the first pretty face that says “maybe.” Beneath that pretty face there could be a true Poindexter.