Author Archives: Patricia Bradley

Winston Churchill and His 15 Favorite Paraprosdokians

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After I posted last month, which was my first post ever for The Kill Zone, I realized that many of you may not know much about me. But since I had already scheduled the post, and it was my last post of the year as well as my first, I made an executive decision to wait until my first post in January to properly introduce myself (Oh, and Happy 2026!). So here goes.

I’m Patricia Bradley, and I write Inspirational romantic suspense for Revell. Since 2013, I’ve written five novellas, 18 novels, and I’m currently working on the 19th. Since I’m not a fast writer, that means I’ve spent the last 12 years mostly sitting at my computer, living my dream. I also teach workshops on writing. In 2012, I met James Scott Bell in a line dance in St. Louis…or Cincinnati, I forget which. He was dancing…I was not. And I doubt he remembers it.

I have a website where you can learn more about me, and a Tuesday blog where I feature a Mystery Question, usually about dumb criminals. I feature four scenarios three of which are true and one that I made up. Readers guess which one I made up. You can find the blog at https://ptbradley.com/blog/.

Enough about me. Now on to my post about Winston Churchill’s favorite paraprosdokians. (We all know how accurate AI is, so they may or may not be his favorites.) Also, according to AI, Paraprosdokians are figures of speech where the latter part of a sentence provides an unexpected twist or surprise, forcing the listener/reader to reinterpret the first part, often for humorous or dramatic effect, like, “If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving definitely isn’t for you” or “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it“.

Winston Churchill was known for loving paraprosdokians. Here are a few AI says he loved:

  1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
  2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.
  3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
  5. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  6. They begin the evening news with “Good Evening”, then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
  7. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
  8. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
  9. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘Emergency contact’, I put ‘doctor’.
  10. You do not need a parachute to skydive unless you want to do it again.
  11. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
  12. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
  13. Where there’s a will, there are relatives.
  14. During WWII Sir Winston Churchill’s address to Congress began with:
    “It has often been said that Britain and America are two nations divided only by a common language”.

Do you have any favorite paraprosdokians to start this New Year with?

That Blinking Cursor

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It is a great honour to write my first post for The Killzone. I’m still pinching myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. So without further ado, my first post of 2025…and my last since we begin our hiatus next week.

About a month ago, I started a new book, and ran into the blinking cursor syndrome. Everything I’d ever learned about writing was gone. Pfff! Vanished. It was like I’d never written a novel before. But I had — eighteen times before, and yes, that blinking cursor syndrome happed Every.Single.Time.

With this book, I even had a one-page synopsis that I’d sent in with the proposal to my publisher. I knew the setting — the Elephant Sanctuary in Hohenwald, Tennessee. I had a title — Deadly Connections, and I knew who the characters were. Actually, I only knew their names. I have to start writing and place my characters in difficult situations before I can really know who they are.

Finally, I got tired of looking at that cursor and pulled out my handy-dandy notebook and made a bullet point list of questions to answer.

  • What’s the setting? Why there? — I had that one.
  • What are my main characters’ goals? Why do they want them? What’s going to keep them from getting what they want? Needed to think about this one a little longer.
  • Who are my characters when they walk onto the page of the book?
    • What ghost from the past keeps them from living their lives to the fullest?
    • What’s the flaw that’s going to cause conflict in reaching their goal?
    • What are their competing values? What will they have to give up?

When I answer these questions, I’ll know my hero/heroine’s goals.

  • And last of all, what crime is to be solved now? Why not five years ago? Or six months ago? Or next year?

Why is this last question important? The crime needs a trigger (pun intended), something that rules out any other time frame, and until I nail that, I can’t move forward. In the book I mentioned, the heroine’s sister has been missing for fifteen years, and she’s just now digging into her disappearance. I needed a good reason for the why now question, so I brainstormed a list of reasons. Nothing was off the table. This can take anywhere from a couple of hours to several days.

When I finished, I chose two that I could work with. Then I started writing with James Scott Bell’s signposts in mind. I now have 25,000 words and have a good handle on my story and the main characters. Of course, they will continue to surprise me, but that’s the fun in writing.

Do you have questions that have to be answered before you can start your story? Let me know in the comments. It might help someone else…and me.

Wishing you a blessed holiday season. See you next year!