After I posted last month, which was my first post ever for The Kill Zone, I realized that many of you may not know much about me. But since I had already scheduled the post, and it was my last post of the year as well as my first, I made an executive decision to wait until my first post in January to properly introduce myself (Oh, and Happy 2026!). So here goes.
I’m Patricia Bradley, and I write Inspirational romantic suspense for Revell. Since 2013, I’ve written five novellas, 18 novels, and I’m currently working on the 19th. Since I’m not a fast writer, that means I’ve spent the last 12 years mostly sitting at my computer, living my dream. I also teach workshops on writing. In 2012, I met James Scott Bell in a line dance in St. Louis…or Cincinnati, I forget which. He was dancing…I was not. And I doubt he remembers it.
I have a website where you can learn more about me, and a Tuesday blog where I feature a Mystery Question, usually about dumb criminals. I feature four scenarios three of which are true and one that I made up. Readers guess which one I made up. You can find the blog at https://ptbradley.com/blog/.
Enough about me. Now on to my post about Winston Churchill’s favorite paraprosdokians. (We all know how accurate AI is, so they may or may not be his favorites.) Also, according to AI, Paraprosdokians are figures of speech where the latter part of a sentence provides an unexpected twist or surprise, forcing the listener/reader to reinterpret the first part, often for humorous or dramatic effect, like, “If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving definitely isn’t for you” or “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it“.
Winston Churchill was known for loving paraprosdokians. Here are a few AI says he loved:
- Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
- The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.
- Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- They begin the evening news with “Good Evening”, then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
- I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
- In filling out an application, where it says, ‘Emergency contact’, I put ‘doctor’.
- You do not need a parachute to skydive unless you want to do it again.
- Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
- You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
- Where there’s a will, there are relatives.
- During WWII Sir Winston Churchill’s address to Congress began with:
“It has often been said that Britain and America are two nations divided only by a common language”.
Do you have any favorite paraprosdokians to start this New Year with?
Interesting about Churchill. This is someone who has always been on my list of historic figures to read more about but thus far haven’t had the time.
Actually I was struck by this: “Since I’m not a fast writer…” But between novels and novellas that’s almost 2 a year! I say kudos! To me that’s a good pace!
Brenda, I’ve also meant to read more about Churchill–he seems to be a fascinating man, and hopefully one day I will.
And, yes it was almost 2 a year, but as I get older, it’s harder to get the words to flow, and I don’t seem to have the discipline I used to have. lol
These are terrific, Pat! Great twists.
I like to use this technique in fiction, esp. in dialogue. A main character in my thrillers is a lawyer who specializes in popping out little surprise punchlines like these. They help characterize him as smart, sarcastic, and fast on his feet. Plus I hope they give readers a smile.
I agree with Brenda. Wish my output was as slow as yours, Pat!
At the time I didn’t have anything to distract me, Debbie, so I wrote pretty much all the time. Lately I’ve had a lot to distract me, especially with the flying and my instructor…
Welcome, Pat, and thanks for the chuckles.
Glad you enjoyed it, Terry!
I love If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving definitely isn’t for you. W.C. Fields is a good source as well, “Yeah, and you’re crazy. But I’ll be sober tomorrow, and you’ll be crazy the rest of your life.”
BTW, One of my college classmates broke both legs skydiving. He was Air Force ROTC. It was the last day the skydiving school allowed our students to take skydiving. The Air Force found him a nice safe desk job.
Alan,skydiving isn’t in my future…at least not on purpose. My original goal was to be able to land the plane if anything happened to my friend…but I loved flying the plane, and he is giving me lessons.
Nice introduction, Patricia! And thanks for the fun of Churchill’s humor. One of my TKZ posts in 2022 included a quote from him about writing a book:
“Writing a book is an adventure. To begin with it is a toy then an amusement. Then it becomes a mistress, and then it becomes a master, and then it becomes a tyrant and, in the last stage, just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster and fling him to the public.”
I love that, Kay! Churchill had numerous quotes attributed to him…I do plan to read more about him because he was a powerful leader as well as interesting.
The U.S. Army Aiirborne also has one: How many safe jumps do you have to make to qualify? All of them.
I so agree, Cary. And one thing you don’t want to hear in a cockpit is…Uh Oh.
Wonderful introduction, Patricia. Churchill’s wit continues to remain sharp sixty years after his passing.
Thanks, Dale! Churchill was a brilliant spokesman…and AI tried to change that to spokesperson. Not having it. I’m looking forward to hanging out here.