by Debbie Burke

Recently I was talking offline with Justin, a regular TKZ reader. He’s currently editing his thriller novella and asked how to “declutter” it.

Great question!

Novella length is typically 20K-40K words. Jim Bell’s recent post on novellas explores the form in detail and offers excellent examples.

Compared to other genres like mystery, historical, speculative, romance, etc., thrillers are generally faster paced. There’s no room to wander through long descriptions, subplots that don’t relate to the main plot, or extended character backstories.

For a novella, there’s even less room.

Every story needs problems and goals. The hero must face a problem and solve it to achieve their goal.

Each scene presents a problem:

• A phone is lost..
• An identity is stolen.
• A friend goes missing.

The inciting incident is the only the first domino to fall in a succession of problems.

Each scene needs a goal:

• The hero must find their phone.
• They need to learn who stole their identity.
• They want to locate the missing friend.

But they can’t solve the immediate problem because a new obstacle appears.

• The lost phone contains all the hero’s contacts, delayed the ability to get help.
• A stolen identity leads to their bank account being drained and credit ruined.
• The missing friend disappeared on purpose because they committed a crime.

The hero must adjust their goal to overcome that roadblock instead.

Alternatively, they solve the immediate problem, but the solution leads to different problems.

• The hero finds their lost phone but it’s in the hands of a criminal who already used it to commit wire fraud.
• The hero protects their money by freezing bank accounts but learns the identity thief filed false tax returns and now the IRS is after the hero.
• The hero finds the missing friend but uncovers they’re involved in a sex trafficking operation.

Each scene causes the hero to make choices.

Subsequent scenes reveal additional problems and conflicts that force the hero to make increasingly difficult choices.

The conclusion of one scene should lead the reader into new problems, goals, and choices.

Scenes should be chain reactions.

Scenes need to be causally linked. If you find a scene that doesn’t connect to the past or foreshadow the future, it may not be necessary.

When reviewing a manuscript, ask yourself: Does this scene move the story forward?

If the answer is no, probably get rid of it.

Give the reader only as much information as they need to know to stay interested.

• Avoid tangents that aren’t relevant.
• Delete characters who don’t perform meaningful tasks.
• We authors are proud of our extensive research but in the novella (as well as longer forms), leave out 95+%. TMI (too much information) slows the story to a crawl.
• Use only specific details that add credibility, authenticity, and verisimilitude.

Readers want sufficient information to understand what’s going on but don’t want an entire graduate class about a subject.

Be clear but be careful not to spoil surprises.

Which details are absolutely necessary for clarity?

The reader should be able to determine:

• What is happening.
• Whom is it happening to.
• What the stakes are.  

Be strategic about the details you cut. The reader should be intrigued but not confused.

Don’t answer all their questions immediately. Some mystery makes them turn the page.

But beware of withholding too much info because that’s not only confusing but also frustrating.

If you have trouble judging clarity because you’re too close to the story, ask your critique group or beta readers for help.

Edit ruthlessly.

Cut all unnecessary verbiage. With limited real estate, every single word must count.

Go through the story word by word. If a word or phrase isn’t needed, chop it. Here’s a post with a list of “junk” words.

 

The tighter the writing, the tighter the tension.

Readers never know what you deleted or left out. They’re only aware your clutter-free novella is a fast, compelling, enjoyable story.

 

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TKZers: Are you concerned about being too wordy? How do you tighten your writing? Please share additional suggestions.