(This post was born on my own website, and I thought it would strike a chord with the TKZ folks also.)
What’s the most recognizable part of the human body? The thing that defines who we are to each other? Other than fingerprints and DNA.
Our bodies have similarities. People are designed with two arms ending in hands, two legs ending in feet, twenty digits, a head, neck, and torso. Requisite musculature and frame to make everything work, surrounding and protecting our inner organs.
Aside from those born with health issues and anomalies, the human race looks and moves pretty much alike.
Except for the face. The human face. Infinite variety.
We could say the same about all species. But we, more often than not, cannot tell others of a different species apart by looking at the creature’s face. Perhaps individuals in that other species can recognize a face within their species, but evidence points to other indicators. Like the zebra baby who knows its mother by her stripes.
I had a disturbing dream last night. In the dream, I moved through groups of people—people who talked to each other. In an office, a hospital, a grocery store, on the streets and sidewalks. Everywhere I looked, people were talking to each other. Some argued, some spoke words of love, some asked those mundane questions we ask of each other upon meeting. Just everyday conversation.
But something was very wrong, as often happens in dreams. No one faced each other. Each group of two, three, or more faced away from each other, standing back to back as they spoke. I began to cry when I saw two of my friends speaking to each other, but not looking at each other. I thought, how sad. Is this where we’re headed?
Let’s bring back the face. Lest we forget what we look like to each other.
Your comments are most welcome!
Interesting. You bring up something I hadn’t given much thought to–how our recognition is tied to faces more so than other creatures. Another example of something we all take for granted. Each face is unique. Even with twins. Although I haven’t been around many sets of twins, usually facially they each are different enough to tell them apart by their faces.
But yes, we need that face to face time — even us introverts! That was the huge lesson I learned during the pandemic. As an introvert, I thought I would have gobbled up the chance to work exclusively from home but I hated it. I recognized that I needed the human interaction.
Lack of faces is also hard on Zoom meetings. Sometimes you are in meetings where a bunch of people have their cameras off — either by preference or because they were asked to for bandwidth reasons. It’s really awkward trying to speak to people that you can’t see. It reminds me of a time when my niece was very young. As a little kid, she was going around the room asking people something (I don’t recall what) but no one was listening to her, engaged in their own conversation. Then all of a sudden she threw up her hands and shouted in frustration “I feel like I’m talkin’ to the wall!” LOL! That’s embedded in my memory forever! 😎
Definitely wise to keep that human interaction, that interpersonal element going.
Have a great weekend, all!
Good morning, Brenda. I remember my parents sometimes, when trying to talk to us about something–and they could tell we weren’t listening–suddenly saying in that same frustration, “What…am I talking to a wall?” Very apt.
And I’ll share this: I went to my doctor the other day and before the visit started, she told me the office was now using AI to implement the patient record of the visit, and asked if that was okay with me. I asked her to step closer to me so I could touch her face to make sure she was a human and not a screen. 🙂 We both got a good laugh about it, but there’s a very unfunny side to it, right?
Have a great weekend!
This article has reminded me of something I try to practice in my writing. When describing a character, I attempt to point out one thing about their face (bulbous nose, large ears, high cheekbones, etc.) and one thing about their physical appearance (build like a football lineman, wears t-shirts from rock concerts twenty years ago, large feet like a clown, etc.) to help the reader form a picture of the person. I believe that if the author goes into too much detail, it slows the read (I write mysteries and thrillers so my readers want a fast pace, lots of action and are not into a lot of prose) and the reader doesn’t remember half of it, that they normally latch onto one or two things and then fill out their vision of what the character looks like, normally associating them with a reallife person.
Hi Henry!
The way you write your character descriptions is exactly what I, as a reader, want to see. I like that same genre for reading pleasure, so action and suspense is more important to me than a detailed character description.
Thanks for adding to the discussion, and have a great day…
Deb, glad to have you back!
Facial expressions give clues and hints to the character’s attitude as well as their truthfulness. Brenda brought up zoom where faces often don’t show, making it difficult to gauge people’s reactions.
Additionally, seeing a face in only two dimensions on a screen deprives you of a lot of sensory info that’s only visible in three dimensions like contours, angles, depth of wrinkles, etc. On zoom, sometimes I can hardly recognize a person even if I know them b/c that third dimension of depth is missing.
Face to face is always my first choice for conversation.
Hi Debbie–glad to be back!
Yes, I agree, F2F is my choice for human interaction also.
In fact, my husband and I recently made the decision to switch financial institutions. Why? Because the bank we’ve been with for about 40 years–a local credit union–has eliminated tellers. When you walk into the lobby, all you see are ATM-like machines. I have to interact with a dang machine to make a deposit, a withdrawal, or whatever. We’re changing to one where I walk in and talk to a real person. And I voiced our objection to the credit union folks, and told them why we were abandoning ship. (I don’t think they cared.)
Have a great weekend, my friend!
I hadn’t thought of the face-to-face thingy, but I should have, since I can’t start writing a book until I have a face to go with my characters. And welcome back!
Besides faces, something that really bothers me is not getting a real person when you call almost any business. They want me to talk to an automated voice no matter how many times I yell for a real person…
Hey Patricia!
Yes, I hear you all the way over here in the PNW, yelling for a human to talk to on the phone.
Can you hear me? 🙂
Have a great day!
Deb, your thoughts on animals got me thinking about the horse that walked into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hey, buddy, why the long face?”
Haha, Jim! A Friday Freebie from the master…
And, hey, thank you for filling in for me while I was hiatus-ing. Much appreciated.
Have a wonderful weekend, my friend. 🙂
I love this. I think it goes hand in hand with the loss of simple pleasantries. I’m an introvert so it’s hard for me, but I’ve really been trying to say hello to people when I pass them on the sidewalk or in one of the many medical facilities I frequent. “Good morning” is so simple, yet people have stopped looking at strangers when they pass let along addressing them. I try to compliment people on the funny T-shirt or the cute shoes or the pretty earrings. It’s amazing how they smile and warm up. I talk with the receptionist or scheduler about the weather or how freezing it is the waiting area. It only takes a little effort (or a lot if you’re an introvert) but it seems to change the day completely. You’ve made human contact. I think people miss that. Even if you have to pry their gaze from their phones . . . .
Good morning, Kelly!
“…pry their gaze from their phones…”
You know what drives me bonkers? When I see a parent and a child in the park or on the playground…and the supposed adult is glued to their screen. What a waste of kiddo time! The next time they look up, the kiddo will be grown and gone and glued to their screen! Okay…rant over! 🙂
Have a great day!
F2F…the most relevant communication. But so sad when people ignore the basic courtesy. In my youth, I didn’t understand why I had an almost immediate dislike for someone on a casual meet and greet. It took a while to reconcile I wasn’t being impulsive or judgemental…(I often felt guilty rushing to judgement). With time, maturity, I realized the why of ‘my’ problem. The person who averts your gaze, really isn’t interested in you or a conversation. They go through the motions, but it’s a dishonest gesture. Perhaps they are ‘dishonest’ also in life and relationships. Yes, I follow my instincts now…if no F2F, it says a lot about a person.
Hi Wil!
Yes, agreed. But, I have caught myself being the “averter”. Need to work on that, I think. Why is eyeball to eyeball so hard for us humans, anyway?
Have a good one!
Welcome back, Deb! Great topic.
Brenda got me thinking about Zoom meetings I’ve attended. People who don’t have their cameras turned on can still participate, but I think we give less weight to their comments because we can’t see them.
Hi Kay–thanks! Great to be back.
Yes. The wonderful tech conveniences do have their downsides, right? That means we have work extra hard at not letting it completely take over and change how we were made to be.
Have a great weekend, my friend!
In short, you are saying that we talk AT each other, instead of TO each other. Logically, we can assume that we listen in the same fashion . . . thus, creating worlds never meant. No wonder we are all confused and disconnected. It would appear that HAL is winning. Maybe, it’s not too late!
By Jove, Michelle, I think you nailed it!
Talking at instead of to is like muting the commercials on TV…the lips are moving but I choose not to hear.
(Hal will not win as long as we stop muting each other.)
Thanks for stopping by, and hope you have a Hal-less weekend!
😉