by James Scott Bell
@jamesscottbell
A story is told of a writer reading some bad poetry to a friend in a cold apartment. The only heat was a dying fire. Finally, shivering, the friend cried out, “My dear sir, either put fire into your verses or your verses into the fire!”
Readers respond to heat. That’s why you need fire in your fiction (a nod here to TKZ emeritus Jodie Renner and agent Donald Maass). Let me offer a few “hot” suggestions.
Fire Up Your Openings
It all starts with your first page, which we here at TKZ write about a lot (click on “First-page Critiques” in the menu and you’ll get a graduate-level course on the subject).
A wise writer (I’m not sure who) said, “A story begins when you light the match, not when you lay out the wood.” Give us some heat from the get-go.
It doesn’t have to be high heat. Just something that disturbs the Lead’s ordinary world. A portent of things to come.
I’ve critiqued many a manuscript at writers conferences, and when I find a “lay out the wood” opening it’s usually because there’s too much backstory. The author thinks the reader has to know a certain amount of information to understand what’s going on.
Nix. Readers will wait a long time for background information if they’re seeing conflict happening on the page.
I’ve suggested two things for wooden openings that work 99% of the time.
Tip #1 is to go to the first instance of dialogue in the manuscript. Dialogue automatically means action, something happening between two or more characters. Then see how you can pump up the conflict in the conversation.
Tip #2 is the “Chapter Two Switcheroo.” Toss Chapter One and begin with Chapter Two. Works wonders! You can then “marble in” only the Chapter One exposition that is absolutely essential.
Fan the Flames of Emotion
When you come to a particularly emotional scene, overwrite it. You can always tone it down later if you want.
I like to do the page-long sentence technique. I open a fresh document and then write in the character’s voice for at least 250 words. No periods, just stream-of-consciousness thoughts, telling me how they’re feeling, not in a simple terms like “angry” or “sad,” but in vivid metaphors and physical reactions. Write write write…then set that aside and come back to it later.
Usually, I’m looking for that one line or image that is striking, that arose out of my subconscious as my fingers flew across the keyboard.
It’s worth the effort. We’re elevating our fiction out of the “pretty good” (tepid) pile and into the “fantastic!” (high heat) pile.
Combust the Conflict
Be sure to give every character in every scene an agenda. They should all want something. There are no seat warmers in fiction.
Put those agendas in opposition.
Even minor characters can add conflict if their goals get in the way of the viewpoint character’s objective.
Push your characters to disagree with each other. In dialogue, use the em-dash interruption every now and then (as I describe here and John there).
Enflame the Philosophy
In my opinion a great Lead character has, well, opinions. Some things should make them hot under the collar.
I like to do a Voice Journal for my main characters, and prod them with questions, one of which is, “What is your philosophy of life?” Then I sit back (as I type) and listen to what they have to say.
An important caveat is not to let the character get too preachy (John Galt to the contrary notwithstanding). The best way to present the material is through dialogue. Here’s a bit from the great film On the Waterfront starring Marlon Brando and Eva Marie Saint. It’s about an ex-boxer, Terry Malloy, who now works as a strong arm for a waterfront boss.
When the mob murders a potential witness against them, Terry comes into contact with the victim’s sister, Edie. Not knowing Terry’s complicity in her brother’s death, Edie is drawn to Terry, as he is to her. Terry takes her to a dive for a drink. After some conversation, he says—
TERRY: You wanna hear my philosophy of life? Do it to him before he does it to you.
EDIE: I never met anyone like you. There’s not a spark of sentiment, or romance, or human kindness in your whole body.
TERRY: What good does it do you besides get you in trouble?
EDIE: And when things and people get in your way, you just knock them aside, get rid of them. Is that your idea?
TERRY: Don’t look at me when you say that. It wasn’t my fault what happened to Joey. Fixing him wasn’t my idea.
EDIE: Who said it was?
TERRY: Everybody’s putting the needle on me. You and them mugs in the church and Father Barry. I didn’t like the way he was looking at me.
EDIE: He was looking at everybody the same way.
TERRY: Oh, yeah? What’s with this Father Barry? What’s his racket?
EDIE: His racket?
TERRY: Yeah, his racket. Everybody’s got a racket.
EDIE: But he’s a priest.
TERRY: Are you kiddin’? So what? That don’t make no difference.
EDIE: You don’t believe anybody, do you?
TERRY: Listen, down here it’s every man for himself. It’s keeping alive. It’s standing in with the right people so you get a little bit of change jingling in your pocket.
EDIE: And if you don’t?
TERRY: If you don’t? Right down.
EDIE: It’s living like an animal.
TERRY: All right. I’d rather live like an animal than end up like …
EDIE: Like Joey? Are you afraid to mention his name?
Write like that and readers will get fired up, too…for your next book!
So how do you turn up the heat when you write?
Jim, your voice journal and interview techniques are my fave tools. If it’s a villain or even a usually moral character doing something questionable, your “closing argument” trick works wonders. Let the character justify their actions as if they were pleading their case to a jury that will decide their fate.
But for goodness sake, please let’s confine fire-lighting to fiction. Enough forests are burning up.
I agree about too many fires. Jim’s title reminded me to look at the Montana fire map.
Agree 100%, Debbie. There’s a fire over half the size of Rhode Island burning in eastern Oregon, and that’s just one fire.
Washington’s on fire, too. We’ve had black ash falling on us from two fires, both a long ways away. And we haven’t seen the surrounding hills in our little valley for days. 🙁
I’m from SoCal. I know whereof you speak.
Yesterday was the first day I could see Pike’s Peak through the smoky haze.
And today, we can see Mt. Adams! 🥳
Excellent advice, as always. “There are no seat warmers in fiction” especially resonates this morning.
I’d add for mystery, certainly in cozy mystery, “curious concern” leads to trouble. Our kind hero sleuth is concerned about someone and becomes curious about that someone’s situation, which results in troubles for the sleuth, large and small.
Milk that trouble for all it’s worth.
Yes. Isn’t that what Miss Marple was? A noticer of curious things?
Fire in words, voiced as loudly as possible, washed in profanity – the language of my birth people. But thanks for the reminder and the tips. Brilliant ideas.
If you are referring to your last name, I completely get it. And I will note it’s as hot as a bastid here in L.A.
Great stuff here, Jim. Tip #1 especially grabbed at me this morning.
One of my WIPs has two different openings, both with dialogue. I didn’t like the first version, so I rewrote it.
The first version opens with a little child (MC) saying to her mother, “Ima (Mommy), do I have to go?” Dialogue, yes, but kind of tame is what I decided.
The second version opens with the same little child, all grown up, saying “What have you done, Father?” Much better IMHO. I hope the reader will wonder right away what Father has done . . . 🙂
Happy Smokeless Sunday!
I do love dialogue openings, Deb. And yes, I’d want to know what “Father” (priest?) has done.
Nope, not a priest. He is the MC’s father and has, according to MC, made a really bad decision.
He disagrees.
And so it begins… 🙂
Might want to change “Father” to “Dad” or some such…
Hmm…setting of story is Israel right before the sack of Rome. Maybe the Jewish word for Dad would work. Good point, JSB.
Abba = Papa
Great tips, Jim. I’ve learned so much from you and others here at TKZ about striking the match to get the story flame going. I’ve been fiddling with different versions of the opening sentence / paragraph / chapter of my latest Lady Pilot-in-Command novel. After reading your post, I may go with the opening that starts with
“Where’s your gun?”
Oohh…I like that opening, Kay! It’s kind of like what we saw here a few days ago. “I can’t kill a kid” is how I remember it went.
Boom!
Enjoyed your fiery post, Jim. When I feel the fire is going out in my WIP, I stop writing and reread it. It helps to remember what started the fire.
No fires here in South Florida, but it’s hot as the hinges of hell. Stay safe TKZers.
“Hot as the hinges of hell” is a great idiom. I’ve played golf in Florida in the summer. Sweated like a Greek fountain.
A story begins when you light the match, not when you lay out the wood.
Perfect analogy! I’m afraid I’m too exhausted from my book event yesterday to add anything meaningful to the conversation other than: excellent suggestions! 💯 agree
Now, I have a date with my recliner and a movie. Happy Sunday!
Movie Sundays are great, Sue. Enjoy!
Still noodling with my opening.
Shalah Kennedy tapped on her boss’s door. The Big Boss. Owner of Excursions Plus Travel Agency.
“Come in,” Mr. Langford called.
She entered, wondering why the urgent summons less than half an hour before the end of the workday. The Friday workday. The Friday she and her not-from-work-friends were going to dinner, then to the special showing of Dr. No, then to Spirits and Suds for drinks. To celebrate her birthday. Her big Three-Oh.
Pet peeve: those who think starting with action means a battle scene.
Right. Don’t need a car chase. Just a disturbance, as when the “big boss” calls you in.
It is said, “Shoot the Sheriff on the first page.” I’ve done that. It gets things off to a fast start.
…As blackness engulfed him, Sheriff Singletary fell to the gritty, bare wooden floor, dead before the last shard dropped from the window pane.
I’m seeing it…
You make an excellent suggestion for putting fire into the opening scene of a novel or short story, that of inserting dialogue with ‘fire’ in it.
I have to admit I often overlook the importance of dialogue, so the advice you give in this article is of enormous help in my fiction writing.
When I do put ‘fire’ into the opening sentences and other scenes of my fiction work, I usually insert a disturbance, such as ‘a large Cadillac that swerved across the road, killing a young girl,’ and then the man who dreams this wakes up saying, “Oh no! Oh God” and has sweat pouring down his face.
Now that I’ve read this article, it seems I need to enhance my Story Openings!
Great! Go to it.