by Clare Langley-Hawthorne
I’m typing this as I watch the Oscars (one of my guilty pleasures) and, as always, I spend most of my time as a sofa-fashionista criticizing the gowns without much thought for the movies. Of course with twin 4 year olds I haven’t seen any of the movies anyway – except for Wall-E (multiple times)…More importantly though, I love how the Oscars always make me believe, at least for one night, that dreams are possible…so I dedicate this blog post to those absolutely ridiculous unattainable dreams that keep us all going. In the spirit of the Oscars I have created my own mock awards and I hope you will make me feel less of a loser and add your own nominations and your own crazy dreams.
Best actor in a dream: My husband still wonders where the hell the fictitious Lord Wrotham came from and I have to confess I do (pathetically) cast my own books as movies…so here’s to Jeremy Northam, Richard Armitage and Colin Firth – if you were all rolled into one and cast in my movie then two of my dreams would come true (to have my books on screen and to have the best, most repressed, hero ever)
Best supporting dream: To be on the cover of Vanity Fair – Hell to be on any page of Vanity Fair…
Best original dreamplay: Act 1: Scene 1: Author opens the Sunday edition of the New York Times and pulls out the book review to the bestseller list. Camera pans to mass pandemonium in the streets.
Best animated dream: To see the Earth from space. This is the reason I push my boys to be obsessed with space travel – and why we have seen Wall-E hundreds of times…(Yay for that Oscar!)
So what are your most outlandish dreams? Go on dress them up in Armani or Valentino and share them with the blog world…or at least with me:)
Oh boy! A dreamscape we can all play in. 😀
Best Actor: Me, in something gritty and powerful, yet nice where I get to become a famous actor after doing my first role at 40 with Zhang Ziyi as my Co-Star.
Best Love Scene: Me and My Wife,
‘cept its shot with the lights off and the sound off..so no one can actually see anything, except her smile at the end when she suddenly understands I really was only joking when I mentioned that fantasy about Zhang Ziyi floating above a forest of bamboo trees.
Best Animated Dream: The one where my entire family gets supporting roles in the Avatar series (the only cartoon my wife has ever watched intentionally, even without the kids present)
Best Actress in an Animated Dream Sequence: Zhang Ziyi, when she approaches my wife in the Avatar series and convinces her that she has never met me…and I was only joking about the bamboo thing…
Hmm…Basil, do I detect a thing for Zhang Ziyi???!!
Clare, I’m such a non-pop person, I spent the first ten minutes last night going, “Wait, isn’t that the Wolfie guy from X-Men? He looks a lot cuter all cleaned up. It’s the same guy , right?” Sheesh.”
Okay, seriously, about dream-fantasy males. I’m thinking Chow Yun Fat, with a mist fog machine creating the proper special effects. And maybe CYF and I can borrow Basil’s bamboo forest, since he was only joking about that (grin).
p.s. Clare, is it okay to update the blog with our dream-date pix? I don’t wanna hijack your blog post, but I wanna play Dream Date…sigh! Remember the game (you’re too young, probably), and you opened the door in the middle of the board, and you either got the “Dream Date” with the white tux and bow tie, or you got the guy with the motorcycle and tattoos who looked like Sean Penn?
Kathryn – go ahead. You already know my dream date combination (sorry hubbie!) – but we may have to get a new webdesigner to help us since you and Basil have a thing for Bamboo forests and fog machines…though I like the ambience idea, I prefer the London drizzle and the smell of a nice up of tea on the brew. How much of a loser am I…
Thing for Ziyi? Well, lets just say had I met her before I met my wife…very likely.
But after two decades of marriage I recognize that my wife has all of the traits that could’ve been had from the famous Chinese actress. Plus I get delicious Korean food instead of Chinese.
…and no papparazi or stuffy actor parties.
Still…the bamboo thing is intriguing
I’ve accepted a Grammy, Emmy, and Oscar (in my dreams 😉 )
And Zhang Ziyi is cute and all, but personally I much prefer Wolverine- wasn’t he great last night? All that AND he sings and dances, wow.
I’ve probably seen Wall-E nearly as many times, Clare- and though I dream of seeing the earth from space, considering the fact that I have a tough time making it through a 8+ hour plane flight, I suspect I don’t have the right stuff for that particular journey. So take lots of pictures for me.
Yes, Hugh Jackman is an Aussie after my own heart – and I have to confess my Hubbie is a true blue Aussie just like him (though he doesn’t sing or dance – unless drunk) – but in dreamland I still seem to have a penchant for English gentlemen…It must be all that stiff upper lip and cold emotionless facade, when beneath beats the heart of a…(STOP THAT DREAM!)
Uh Oh Clare, I think I just saw your spirit float by my window holding a cup of steaming tea and an umbrella.
And yeah Michelle, its probably best you find Mr. Sideburns more attractive than the Chinese Dagger Chick, and the converse for me.
Although if I could get away with the Wolverine thing (being like him, that is, not googly eyed towards him) I’d give it a go. But my wife says I’m more the Teddy Bear type. So I guess I’m stuck with snuggly instead of…well…steel spikes in my hands and big side burns.
OK Clare! I found Chow Yun Fat flying over a bamboo forest. At least I think it’s him, flying over some kind of trees! Now I’m happy.
Cool Kathryn – though I still think a picture of Lord Wrotham glowering through the London fog is more my thing – though of course he wouldn’t be able to fly…but he could simmer.
Is that Colin Firth in the picture? Or that MY dream??
Thanks Clare; I’m going to start by designing the dress I’ll wear when my screenplay wins .. at least I know you’ll see the dress!
Camille, there is indeed a picture of Mr Firth:) He’s definitely my version of Darcy! I’ll keep a look out for the dress design. I always imagine myself at the Oscars in vintage Dior – but then in my imagination I can wear anything…
Actually, my dream is to be successful enough as a writer that my wife can work when/how she wants, rather than getting the constant migraines that come from working for a school system that caves to the squeaky few parents who believe kids go to school to get a sheet of paper and a GPA, not to do all that learning crap, and that all teachers do is take up space and tax dollars. [yeah, it’s a run-on, but emotional rants sometimes contain those]
Hell, I’d even be willing to keep putting up with the mindless millions who seem to think kids don’t need any responsibility when they’re 2-3 months from graduating High School, and that the teacher should be worked to death to make sure the kid never has to do any work at all. I’d gladly keep doing that AND write full time, if I knew it meant we could afford for her to work when and where she wanted without the ridiculous hassle of dealing with people who seem determined to ‘outsmart’ the system, then blame the system when their ‘clever’ ploy, and their offspring, fall flat.
I just figure that would giver her and us a better life than plan B: ruthlessly hunting down the next simian mouthbreather who blindly believes their spoiled-devoid-of-integrity-or-accountability spawn is infallible, and cleansing the gene pool a bit with something highly flammable.
Oh, and I take home best original screenplay honors, too.
My mum was a school teacher so I totally get your rant!! We also share the fantasy of being able to sustain a livelihood by writing…which is why I’m sitting here still wondering how will I do my hair when that Academy Award nomination comes a-calling…
I sympathize, empathize, etc etc. My wife is a preschool administrator. Even at that level the parents often seem to think we can work miracles. I teach at university (only as a sub though) and encounter adults who think I’m supposed to do it all for them and make them understand, even thought they don’t read the books or show up for class.
The consolation I keep giving myself is that one day my children will be there children’s bosses, and they won’t take excuses in the workplace because I’ve taught them to be responsible for their own actions and hold others accountable as well.
But this is a dream post: therefore choking the living $#1t out of the idiots is perfectly acceptable in believe.
And by the way Clare, you’re dream dress looks utterly stunning, and seems London Fog and Rain proof as well. It goes splendidly with the umbrella. 😉
Funny, my mom is a teacher too! And yes, she’s been called to account for students that did nothing and yet still wanted a place on the mock trial team since it would look good on their college transcript, and the parent’s complained and she was lectured in front of them. Nightmare. Frequently it’s a thankless job, sadly…
Thanks Basil – It always de rigeur to have a matching dior umbrella:) Michelle – sorry to hear your mum faced the same kind of nightmares mine did.