Malaphors to End the Year
Terry Odell

As this is my last post before the Kill Zone takes its annual holiday vacation, I want to join in and add my best wishes for a happy holiday season to everyone here. Our holiday began Sunday night, although we lit our first candle with mixed emotions.

This year, we’re blessed to have all the “kids” under one roof to make up for us being separated on birthdays and Thanksgiving. Daughter #1 is coming in from Northern Ireland, #2 is returning to Colorado after getting her doctorate in Raleigh, NC. The Hubster and I flew out for the ceremony. Now, if you say, “Dr. Odell,” three heads will turn toward you in response. (Mine won’t be one of them.)

This year has been a tough one, and I’d like to see it off with a bit of lighthearted humor. How about some malaphors?

A malaphor is an informal term for a mixture of two aphorisms, idioms, or clichés (such as, “We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it”). It is also called an idiom blend.

The term malaphor—a blend of malapropism and metaphor—was coined by Lawrence Harrison in the Washington Post article “Searching for Malaphors” (August 6, 1976).

Here we go:

From Gyles Brandreth, Word Play: A Cornucopia of Puns, Anagrams and Other Curiosities of the English Language. Coronet, 2015

I can read him like the back of my book.
The sacred cows have come home to roost with a vengeance.
We could stand here and talk until the cows turn blue.
We will get there by hook or ladder. . . .
It’s time to step up to the plate and lay your cards on the table.
He’s burning the midnight oil from both ends.
It sticks out like a sore throat.
It’s like looking for a needle in a hayride.

Some more from Richard Lederer, Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assaults Upon the English Language, rev. ed. Wyrick, 2006

It’s time to swallow the bullet.
It’s as easy as falling off a piece of cake.
Let dead dogs sleep.
That guy’s out to butter his own nest.
He’s between a rock and the deep blue sea.

Feel free to add your own.

I leave you hoping 2026 is a better year than 2025.

New! Find me at Substack with Writings and Wanderings

Deadly Ambitions
Peace in Mapleton doesn’t last. Police Chief Gordon Hepler is already juggling a bitter ex-mayoral candidate who refuses to accept election results and a new council member determined to cut police department’s funding.
Meanwhile, Angie’s long-delayed diner remodel uncovers an old journal, sparking her curiosity about the girl who wrote it. But as she digs for answers, is she uncovering more than she bargained for?
Now, Gordon must untangle political maneuvering, personal grudges, and hidden agendas before danger closes in on the people he loves most.
Deadly Ambitions delivers small-town intrigue, political tension, and page-turning suspense rooted in both history and today’s ambitions.

Preorder now

Terry Odell is an award-winning author of Mystery and Romantic Suspense, although she prefers to think of them all as “Mysteries with Relationships.”