Naming the Baby

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By Elaine Viets

I just turned in my latest Angela Richman, Death Investigator mystery. You know the hardest part of that novel? Coming up with a title.
Without a good title, the book can’t go forward – there’s no cover, no editing, nothing – without the title.
Here’s a brief teaser:
“Everyone in Chouteau Forest knows the legend of the Cursed Crypt. It’s claimed that the restless spirit of a professor nicknamed Mean Gene Cortini, buried in Chouteau Forest University’s crypt, has been causing death and destruction in the Forest for almost two centuries.”
My publisher’s contract calls this novel Untitled Angela Richman Mystery #8. Doesn’t sing, does it?
I gave the novel this working title, The Cursed Crypt.
But my editor didn’t like that name. Others dismissed it as “too Nancy Drew.”
So I spent the next couple of weeks trying to find a new title. This was serious work. I batted titles around with readers, friends and my agent. Finally, far I had:
A Cryptic End
Murder Most Cryptic
Murder at the Tomb
The Dead of Night
Death in the Night
Death Comes at Night
A Grave Ending
Money, Murder, and Madness
After much discussion, it was whittled down to one title. I checked Amazon and other online databases to make sure someone else wasn’t using that title. This was an important step. One New York publisher released two books with the same title. In the same year. I can’t imagine the confusion that caused both authors.
At last, the title was approved by the publisher’s editorial board.
The new novel would be called The Dead of Night, and it has this gorgeous cover.

But there’s still one pitfall.
Choose the wrong title, and my book could wind up on the Goodreads list of “Worst titles: Some titles don’t go with the books.” About 227 books made the list. Here are two obvious examples:
Truth, Dare, or Handcuffs or Threeway.

Not as catchy as Fifty Shades of Grey, is it?
It addresses this dilemma: “When two men love the same woman, what are they to do?”
Then there’s this one: Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist’s Quest to Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, or Why Pie Is Not the Answer.

I expected to be hit by lightning just for reading this title: Jesus Potter Harry Christ: The astonishing relationship between two of the world’s most popular literary characters: a historical investigation into the mythology and literature of Jesus Christ and the religious symbolism in Rowling’s magical series.


This next example is a truly terrible title for a romance novel: How To Catch Crabs.
It’s not about those crabs. It’s about a seagoing man who catches crustaceans: “A tale of crabs, cricket bats and catching your heart’s desire in Jazz Age Western Australia.”

And here’s a really trashy novel: Dumpsterotica: How Dirty Are You? Described as an “erotic comedy series,” this short story “puts the ‘rot’ in erotica; after reading this you’ll never look at a Dumpster the same way again.”I’ve already changed my mind about Dumpsters.
I was surprised to see big-time titles on this list, including all four books in the Twilight saga: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society also made the list. I liked the book and the movie, but the cover has nothing to do with the title.
Some titles on the list are so disgusting I won’t print them. Others have one or more F-bombs. But I was sorry to see Walter the Farting Dog there. If you’re not familiar with William Kotzwinkle’s children’s book, here’s the story:
“Walter is a fine dog, except for one small problem: he has gas. He can’t help it; it’s just the way he is. Fortunately, the kids Billy and Betty love him regardless, but Father says he’s got to go! Poor Walter, he’s going to the dog pound tomorrow. And then, in the night, burglars strike. Walter has his chance to be a hero. A children’s beloved classic, this story will have kids rolling on the floor with laughter. Adults are permitted to laugh too.”
I have my own story about Walter. I was working behind the register at a Barnes & Noble, when a dignified woman in a Chanel-style suit (in Florida, yet!), came up to the counter holding the Kotzwinkle book by one corner, as if she couldn’t bear to touch it. She was livid. Her voice was cold, soft and deadly. “Someone. Gave. This. Book. To. My. Child.”
She didn’t have a receipt, but the store took it back. I felt sorry for the poor kid, but Kotzwinkle and his crepitant canine didn’t need my sympathy. There’s a new book in the saga: Walter The Farting Dog Farts Again.

****************************************************************

The Dead of Night will be published April 4. Preorder your copy now.
https://tinyurl.com/2c4qzlb6

31 thoughts on “Naming the Baby”

  1. Titles are fun to make up. Here are 10 of mine:
    Sail Away on My Silver Dream (coming of age)
    Moon Over the Lost City (poetry)
    Tales For a Blue Moon (stories)
    The Perils of Tenirax:Mad Poet of Zaragoza (picaresque)
    Sorcerer of Deathbird Mountain (high fantasy)
    Midnight in the Temple of Isis (classical tragedy)
    House of a Thousand Spiders (horror)
    Does That Voice in Your Brain Bother You? (SciFi)
    Dirk’s Dark Circus (coming of age)
    Call of a Distant Song (midlife crisis in Saltine Springs)

    I’ll be needing a title for my Mystery/Western/Romance. I shot the Sheriff on the first page. The town teacher, who was secretly in love with him, is appointed sheriff to track down the murderer. Working title was “Something Wicked in Ichikaw.” (Wichitaw is taken.) Suggestions?

  2. I hate coming up with titles. In most cases, it’s the last thing I do, after I have a clue what the book is about. It’s harder when I try to keep my series titles consistent. My Mapleton books all start with “Deadly.” I started that with the first few, and now I feel locked into it. Heck, John Sandford manages with his Prey series.
    At least none of mine (I hope) would qualify for the worst title award.

  3. Titles are interesting–sometimes they come to me quite easily and sometimes it takes me forever to settle on a title.

  4. That is definitely a gorgeous cover and I like the title. Phyllis Whitney wrote that she always sent a list of acceptable titles with her submissions so she wouldn’t end up with one she hated.

    If the Chanel woman had been as classy as she pretended to be, she would simply have tossed the book. Her returning it showed only how cheap she was.

  6. Great cover! Great timing too. I was talking last night withsomeone who purchased a print of a book cover from the artist. I mentioned how little control authors have in the cover.

    • You’re right, Alan. I’m luckier than most authors because Severn House, my publisher, works with me on the cover process. I’m grateful they are so cooperative.

  8. Love the title and cover, Elaine!

    Book titles are hard to come up with. We all want to get one that’s not too cute, not too haughty, but just right. Since timepieces always play an important role in my Watch series, the titles all have to have the words “watch”, “clock”, or “time” in them. I already have the title for my next Watch series book. Now all I have to do is write it. 🙂

  9. Am I allowed to admit that I never/rarely have trouble finding titles for my books?
    It helps that I write in series in the traditional British whodunit and the historical cosy mysteries categories.

    The first series – The Verity Long Mysteries – features a crime writer’s PA with a habit of stumbling over bodies and an urge to uncover the truth. (I didn’t name her Verity without reason.)
    Strictly Murder – Verity discovers the body of a missing TV dance show presenter.
    Organized Murder – body found hanging from a roof beam next to a church organ.
    Scouting for Murder – Scout Master murdered in the Scout hut
    Married to Murder – death of a typist in a wedding planning agency.
    Later books include the word Long (Verity’s surname in the title)
    Long Drive to Murder – body found in burnt out car. This one is based on a real case
    Long Cold Death – body in freezer.
    etc., etc.

    The second series – The Lady Eleanor Mysteries – are set in London in 1924.
    A Poisoning in Piccadilly
    A Burglary in Belgravia
    A Traitor at Tower Bridge
    etc.
    Book 6 (the current wip) is set outside London, but book 7 will return to the capital with A Tragedy in Trafalgar Square.

    It takes me about half a day to come up with the title, and I always have it before I begin plotting and writing.

    I love your cover Elaine, but I would have chosen A Grave Ending to play up to the cover imagery.
    Good luck with it!

  10. Great post, Elaine. I love coming up with the titles for my books. It can be a challenge, but one I enjoy. I usually run them by a group of fellow writers for input.

    My first Meg Booker Librarian mysteries book was originally titled “Death Due,” but that just didn’t strongly enough evoke a library cozy, so after some brainstorming, I came up with “A Shush Before Dying,” which I liked because it was a play on the classic noir novel, “A Kiss Before Dying.” The second title was my own play on words, “Book Drop Dead,” while the third will be “Last Seen Shelving,” a play on “Last Seen Wearing.” All three have the cozy tone and vibe I wanted.

    Thanks for another fun, informative post!

  11. Most who write for traditional publishers have their title changed anyway so I tell newbie authors not to sweat titles.

    If you are writing a series, you/your publisher will need to find some type of gimmick to link the series titles. Dick Francis’ horse racing thrillers had two-word titles that had double meanings from a horse racing use and real world use. Cozy mystery writer Donna Andrews had bird types in her mystery titles. I used pop standard titles when I wrote category romances, and, no, I was never called out about it because song titles are almost never trademarked and can’t by copyrighted.

    I’ve known my titles before I wrote the book, the book named itself during the writing process, and I’ve banged my head against my office wall for weeks after I’ve finished the book. Most of the time I found that title in the text itself just waiting for me to notice it.

  12. Thanks for an entertaining post, Elaine. I like your title and cover.

    I keep my list of possible titles at the top of my expanded outline (on Google docs), and edit my list every time I’m outlining or writing. By the time I’ve finished the rough draft, I usually know which title is the best fit for my story.

    Good luck with your launch of The Dead of Night.

  13. Only rarely have I come up with a title my publishers like. They kept the title of my last book, Counter Attack. It involves chess moves the killer leaves with each victim. They turned down the title I used while writing the book I just turned in — Counter Strike, for Fatal Witness, which really works better.

    Often my working title is something like Book #— in whatever series.
    Wishing you the best in your book launch!

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