What Did That Sign Say?

Today’s post is short. I promise I’m not lazy. I’m really, truly not. This past week, I was on the road (I’m looking at you, Alabama!) and when I returned, I immediately resumed Mom’s Taxi Service for my eighteen year-old son who’s still on crutches.

When I was on the road, I couldn’t help but notice bad signage. Mostly it was hanging in bathrooms, as though it were trying to hide. And, frankly, I don’t blame it. While I’m all for the evolution of the English language, I despair. I toyed with the idea of correcting them, but I’m not an enthusiastic defacer of any printed words. Here are the three appalling signs I was able to snap without drawing too much attention.

It’s hard to know where to start.

I suppose the two ** represent the phrase “if there are no paper towels.” And that must be a majestic Hair Dryer to warrant initial caps.

This one never gets old. Fish in a barrel, folks.

It’s show and tell time!

I’ll repost the first five you all send to me at laura@laurabenedict.com.

—Thanks, Sue Coletta! I like that they finish this masterpiece off with three !!!

–From George Smith, “Trespassing during normal  hours is okay, though.”

George Smith: “Somewhere there’s a empty sign frame…”

I can’t believe how long it too me to get this one. Too funny!

George Smith: “For those approaching from the edge of the building.”

–From our own beloved Kris Montee!

This entry was posted in #amwriting, Writing and tagged , , by Laura Benedict. Bookmark the permalink.

About Laura Benedict

Laura Benedict is the Edgar- and ITW Thriller Award- nominated author of eight novels of suspense, including The Stranger Inside (Publishers Weekly starred review). Her Bliss House gothic trilogy includes The Abandoned Heart, Charlotte’s Story (Booklist starred review), and Bliss House. Her short fiction has appeared in Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, and in numerous anthologies like Thrillers: 100 Must-Reads, The Lineup: 20 Provocative Women Writers, and St. Louis Noir. A native of Cincinnati, she lives in Southern Illinois with her family. Visit her at www.laurabenedict.com.

15 thoughts on “What Did That Sign Say?

  1. Hilarious, Larua. I don’t have a picture (wish I’d had the foresight!), but in a local hospital they had this sign (since removed) in the elevator:

    If elevator stops working do not become alarmed. Please push the red button marked “ALARM.”

  2. On the bright side, the bathroom shouldn’t have a waiting line. Unless there are numerous disabled, elderly, pregnant children strolling around. Happy to be of service!!! (<– for you, Laura 😉 )

  3. So signage is one of the many hats I wear during my day job, and I think my inner-writer catches these before they get out of MY office, but we have our share~

    Lemme check to see if I can post any of “ours” ~

    One I like is “Keep Door Closed At All Times” – but then how do you go through it?

  4. Our drive-up ATM at our bank has signage in Braille on the keypad. Who is that for?

    And along or highway: “Illiterate? Call 1-800-…”

    • I’ve seen the “illiterate” signs. Baffling, indeed.

      I can only guess that Braille is put on all ATMS by default since so many are walk-ups. But it does seem odd for drive-ups, for sure.

  5. Love these.
    I didn’t see it in person, but found it on line a while back. The red sign on the door says “THIS DOOR IS ALARMED”

    Underneath, there are two notes taped to the door, saying:
    “The Window is Startled” and “And the floor is somewhat taken aback.”

  6. Some of you may have seen these, but my favorite while visiting London years ago was a sign over a manhole that read, ” Be Alert.” Then below it read, ” Britain Needs More Lerts.”

    What I liked about it was that it was all the actual caution sign. It shows off the British humor to a T.

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