Today’s post is short. I promise I’m not lazy. I’m really, truly not. This past week, I was on the road (I’m looking at you, Alabama!) and when I returned, I immediately resumed Mom’s Taxi Service for my eighteen year-old son who’s still on crutches.
When I was on the road, I couldn’t help but notice bad signage. Mostly it was hanging in bathrooms, as though it were trying to hide. And, frankly, I don’t blame it. While I’m all for the evolution of the English language, I despair. I toyed with the idea of correcting them, but I’m not an enthusiastic defacer of any printed words. Here are the three appalling signs I was able to snap without drawing too much attention.
It’s hard to know where to start.
I suppose the two ** represent the phrase “if there are no paper towels.” And that must be a majestic Hair Dryer to warrant initial caps.
This one never gets old. Fish in a barrel, folks.
It’s show and tell time!
I’ll repost the first five you all send to me at laura@laurabenedict.com.
—Thanks, Sue Coletta! I like that they finish this masterpiece off with three !!!
–From George Smith, “Trespassing during normal hours is okay, though.”
George Smith: “Somewhere there’s a empty sign frame…”
I can’t believe how long it too me to get this one. Too funny!
George Smith: “For those approaching from the edge of the building.”
–From our own beloved Kris Montee!
Hilarious, Larua. I don’t have a picture (wish I’d had the foresight!), but in a local hospital they had this sign (since removed) in the elevator:
If elevator stops working do not become alarmed. Please push the red button marked “ALARM.”
Ha, Gym! This is definitely alarming.
On the bright side, the bathroom shouldn’t have a waiting line. Unless there are numerous disabled, elderly, pregnant children strolling around. Happy to be of service!!! (<– for you, Laura 😉 )
I’ll take ALL the extra !!!, Sue. Thanks for the pic!
So signage is one of the many hats I wear during my day job, and I think my inner-writer catches these before they get out of MY office, but we have our share~
Lemme check to see if I can post any of “ours” ~
One I like is “Keep Door Closed At All Times” – but then how do you go through it?
These are all great, George. Thank you!
From a newspaper ad in the 70s:
Adult Doberman free to good home. Great guard dog, eats anything, especially fond of children.
Love it!
Our drive-up ATM at our bank has signage in Braille on the keypad. Who is that for?
And along or highway: “Illiterate? Call 1-800-…”
I’ve seen the “illiterate” signs. Baffling, indeed.
I can only guess that Braille is put on all ATMS by default since so many are walk-ups. But it does seem odd for drive-ups, for sure.
Should be: along our highway… Sorry!
Love these.
I didn’t see it in person, but found it on line a while back. The red sign on the door says “THIS DOOR IS ALARMED”
Underneath, there are two notes taped to the door, saying:
“The Window is Startled” and “And the floor is somewhat taken aback.”
Now, there’s a person who loves the language. So witty. Thanks, Terry.
Love these! Tweeted and Facebooked (is that a word) using Sue’s disabled, elderly, pregnant children sign.
Some of you may have seen these, but my favorite while visiting London years ago was a sign over a manhole that read, ” Be Alert.” Then below it read, ” Britain Needs More Lerts.”
What I liked about it was that it was all the actual caution sign. It shows off the British humor to a T.