John Ramsey Miller


Do not get me wrong. I love and appreciate my readers ….mostly. I recall when fans sent letters to the publisher who forwarded them to me. That’s how long I’ve been around. Most were complementary, some not so much…  


Every published author has to deal with people who find mistakes in their book and have to get in touch immediately so they can do a “superiority” dance. Nonny-Nonny-Boo-Boo, I know more n’ you do! We all hate their slimy little entrails. I have written people and told them not to ever read my books again and I’ve offered to pay them for the book they bought if they would agree not to ever buy another one. My wife gets crazy when I do things like that. 


I have told people that the mistakes were obviously typos put there by a typesetter who zoned out and the copy editor missed catching it. With what publishers pay copy editors and the nature of the setters reading and keying in the words of every kind of book there is, and I get it. So now so should you, anal compulsive reader dearest. 


Most readers are truly dears, but there’s that one in five thousand who read novels the way surgeons read the New England Journal of medicine.  You get words wrong in that tome and people can die. I seem to get a few readers who read with their feet up and a red pencil clenched between their teeth. 


Here’s the thing. I write stories in real time as I imagine them. If I put in mistakes, they are often invisible to me in consequent readings and edits. I see something, I read it the way I imagined it–if that makes sense. Sometimes my lens is clouded. If (the editorial) you are going to read for grammatical accuracy, don’t read my books. Read law books. If you find a mistake in my books, keep it to yourself, because it isn’t in my control. Write the typesetter or the copy editor and tell them they ruined my book for you. I can do nothing at this point but allow how friggin anal you are and repeat for the twentieth time, “Tell somebody who will be impressed that you read each word and found something that didn’t belong, or found something missing, even after a dozen professionals missed it.”  


If the editor(s) don’t initially fix it, it will remain as broken as when I built it. 


I was not an English major, and I couldn’t diagram a sentence if my life depended on it. I will dangle participles like I used to hang those foil strip icicles on Christmas trees, end a sentence with a preposition, misspele words, run a sentence from Eugene to Miami Beach,  double tap words, CAPS and lower cases lie where they fall, and more terrible, unforgivable things. It’s just me.


Here’s an example. (Spoiler Alert) If I remember the book correctly, in UPSIDE DOWN I have a character say something in German when he is about to kill another assassin (like he could accomplish that). The reader should think this guy is the German assassin in a clever disguise. This woman writes to tell me that she teaches German and loves knockschnizzels and she has to tell me that my German grammar is badly flawed and whoever does my research should be “drawn and quartered.” Otherwise she loved the book. My reply went something very much like this:


Dear (Her name here),
My stepmother is German. I took German in college as my foreign language. I have several close friends who are German or who speak German at least conversationally. The phrase you are referring to was taken directly from a Babel Fish translation of the English I wrote in the little block. You see, the character got the German he spoke from babel Fish because he wasn’t German at all, which I thought clear enough. He wanted to trick the real German assassin by tossing off a phrase he got from Bable Fish (since he did not speak German) and having the other guy answer in his native tongue. I don’t know how you missed that since this is the only note I’ve received out of 200,000 copies out there.
Thanks for taking time to write.
John


She wrote me a lovely e-note response apologizing and saying that she had gone back and re-read the scene and was shocked she got it wrong. The fact is, I got it from Babble Fish because I planned to make it perfect later and never checked it or had anyone else do it. The copy editor actually noted it and asked if it was a correct translation, and it was never repaired by me or anyone else. And truth is, it could be taken that way, or hers. But the point is, I recovered and I came back and performed the superiority dance myself. I loved it. I should have felt, but I didn’t feel at all guilty. I wish I could have done that with every one of those I’ve ever received. But sometimes you are standing there naked to the world ashamed to be associated with a word-fail most foul, and to some, unforgivable. 


Truthfully, it’s nice to know someone with literary Asbergers is carefully policing the pages. Although, as goes with real cops, we’d all rather see them pulling someone else over.


The big problem with me self-publishing a book is that fact that it will be rife and rifled with mistakes large and small. If I lose a few anal compulsive readers, I doubt I’ll much notice …or care. But I am sure I will hear from most of them.

by Clare Langley-Hawthorne

Always on the lookout for some great new books for my twin boys to read, I was in two city bookstores last Friday when a depressing realization set in…As I scoured the shelves it became increasingly obvious how gender segregated these early readers seem to be. On the boys’ side were books like the Zac Powers and Jack Stalwart secret agents series, Boy vs. Beast and Battle Boy while on the girls’ side were the Rainbow Magic Fairy books, Ivy and Bean, Mermaid and Unicorn books. 


Although I know there are definitely cross-over books like The Magic Tree House books (which are, believe it, or not hard to find in Australia), the way the section was laid out made it clear that there were ‘boy books’ and ‘girl books’ and I had to wonder what kind of message this sent to kids (who are, after all, the readers of the future). 


Although  I’m not the sort who believes we should inflict some crazy gender neutrality on kids, it is kind of depressing that the majority of  ‘boy’ books are all about aliens, battles and secret agents while the girls books were all pink and cutesy with themes of flowers, fairies, unicorns and magic…I wonder as these kids grow up how this will affect their reading choices (which, to be fair, vastly improve as they get to  middle grade and teen books).


My boys think I should rectify the situation by writing some awesomely cool series aimed just for them (I only wish ideas came that easily!) but all I can do is try to mitigate the situation by opening their minds to a whole range of reading choices. I remember growing up that, though there were obviously some girl/boy-centric books, there were heaps of stories that appealed to everyone. Both my husband and I grew up on Enid Blyton’s Famous Five, Mystery and Adventure series and so when we talk about books that we loved as children we have lots of common ground. I just can’t believe twenty-odd years later, that the gap between what boys and girls read seems to have grown wider – at least among primary/elementary school kids. 


Perhaps part of the reason is the perception that it is hard to get boys to read and so publishers have been focusing on ‘cool’ themes to try and encourage boys to pick up a book. Nothing wrong with that…but I have to admit, as a parent, I would love to see books that have broader appeal. Not to mention that the actual writing itself is pedestrian. I fear that the early book market become little more than a production line pushing out a plethora of bland, badly written books.


I feel like there are so many amazing children’s picture books and then there is this huge gap until middle-grade or young adult books (where I think there are some fabulous things going on). Should I be worried that by the time my boys reach that point they will think that books are divided (like clothes) on gender lines (blue for boys, pink for girls…)?


So what do you think? Is reading in these early years getting more gender specific? Is anyone else depressed when they look at books aimed for 6-10 year olds?  

By John Gilstrap

Okay, I’ll start with the apology.  When my editor told me that last week was the launch of the front-of-store displays for Damage Control, she was mistaken.  In reality, all of the promotional stuff starts next Monday with the launch of a post card to the 1,744 people on my mailing list, followed up the next day (the actual launch day) with a mass mailing of the same post card to Kensington’s 15,000-plus-person list.

If you’d like to be added to the list, send me an email to john at johngilstrap dot com and I’ll make sure that happens.  If you want to be removed from the list, there’s a link to that effect on anything you might receive from me.

Forgive me if I seem overly opportunistic, but I’d like to talk to day about what readers can do to most favorably impact the careers and livelihoods of the authors they like.  Obviously, buying books is an important first step, but it goes further than that.

Buy on or before the launch date.  More and more, the book industry is governed by the numbers.  If a book sells well in its first days, it is guaranteed to have a long life in the marketplace.  If it doesn’t, life becomes difficult.  It’s not just about the money that a book earns.  In fact the absolute value of the revenue generated is less important than the velocity with which it is generated.  Thus, if there’s an author out there whose book you know you will ultimately buy, you can have a far greater impact on the writer’s career if you pre-order or order in the first week than you can if you wait even two or three weeks after release.

Tell people about your purchase.  Even with the retraction of the paper book market and the death of the corner bookstores, word-of-mouth continues to be the number-one source of sales for books.  Your post on Twitter or Facebook or Amazon or Barnes & Noble makes a huge difference.  And if you don’t like one of my books, please spell my name correctly: G-R-I-S-H-A-M.

Tell your local bookseller.  If you’re a merchant, and you’ve got a couple thousand products on your shelves, there’s no way that you can be truly familiar with more than a few.  When you hear from a satisfied customer, that voice resonates loudly.  This is particularly important for authors who are relatively new in their careers.

If you don’t find a book on the shelves, ask the bookseller to order it.  Again, for the first- or second-timer whose books are rarely ordered again after the two or three original copies are sold, these requests literally translate to the life or death of their careers.

Utilize social media.  This is an area where I’m still learning my way around the basics.  If an author you like tweets something you think is interesting, re-tweet it.  Forward it via email.  Like it on Facebook.

Write to authors.  It’s a lonely world when you tell stories to your screen, and then launch them into the ether.  It’s always nice to know that there are real people out there on the other end of the writing equation.

So, what have I missed?

    Has this ever happened to you? You have a great idea for a story–an idea that’s so strong, so clear, the story should probably write itself. But then you find yourself struggling with the execution phase. No matter how hard you work, no matter how many times you rewrite, the draft doesn’t measure up to the power of that first idea. Ever been there?

We all have. It’s called writing.


Part of the secret of becoming a professional writer is learning to get out of one’s own way. Every writer is different–we all have certain strengths, and we all have tics and weaknesses. During the writing process, we must prune out those tics as ruthlessly as a fastidious English gardener.


Today’s writing sample is SISTERS OF THE EARTH. I’ve added my comments at the end, including some suggestions for pruning and a bit of replanting.

     Angel stood on the top step debating. A gentle wind brushed her curls from he face; it was soothing and grounding. She could do the responsible thing and end the night right here and right now. But she had always played it safe, always kept things nice and in place. But lately things have not been going the way that she had hoped that they would. She now stood to lose everything that she worked for and she didn’t know if she was able to handle it. Once again her life was on its axis debating on which way it was going to spin. She foolishly thought that she would be able to direct that spin.
    Ly-Coris stood on the sidewalk waiting for her decide. He was silent but she could feel his presence just the same. She put the key in the door and slowly let it open. She didn’t turn to him, didn’t say anything. She wanted something that she was not able to verbalize and hoped that he understood.  She knew that he did when he silently closed the door behind them.
    “There is something that I should tell you, and it may be hard to hear,” he said leaning against the doorframe.
    She turned to him with a startled look. She had never done anything like this before but she was certain that there wasn’t a whole lot of talking involved. He didn’t seem to notice or care and that just irritated her even more.
    “I’m not what you think that I am, Angel. I need you to know…”
    Angel stopped him from talking by placing her lips over his, hoping that he would take a hint and move on. There wasn’t any reason to talk; nothing was going to last past this night. He was warm and sweet and just what she needed. His body felt right against hers, but something was suddenly wrong. He was responding, pulling her into him. She could feel his fingers grazing against her skin. But something was off.  She pulled back and swallowed all of her instincts.


Kathryn’s comments: 
I like the rhythm and flow of the narrator’s voice here. It has a natural, appealing quality to it. I could easily see myself sticking with this narrator to see what develops, story-wise. 


But the writer gets in her (I’m assuming it’s a her) own way more than once. And that’s not a good thing, especially on the first page. 


Any editor or agent would be put off by the typo in the second sentence (“he face”). Yes, it’s a small mistake, but such a lapse early on lowers the reader’s expectations for the skill of the writing. I’d also suggest adding a comma to the first sentence, so that it reads, (“Angel stood on the top step, debating.”) I’d also remove the semicolon and replace with a period–semicolons are seldom used in popular fiction these days.


There’s a confusion of tenses later in the first paragraph (“But lately things have not been going the way that she had hoped that they would.”)”Have” should be “had” there. I’d also suggest dropping the “that”s to improve readability. The rest of that paragraph introduces back story, which drags down the scene. Instead of putting us in the narrator’s head right then, I’d suggest staying with action and dialogue. You need to paint a strong picture for the reader so that we see what your narrator sees, before you go off into back story.


I have the same advice for narrator’s interior thoughts in the next paragraph (“She wanted something that she was not able to verbalize and hoped that he understood.  She knew that he did when he silently closed the door behind them.) Let the action and dialogue–including the silence–convey what is happening here, rather than explaining it all from inside her head. Remember the old adage, “Show don’t tell.”


I got confused what was meant by “this” in a later paragraph, (“She had never done anything like this before…”) The writer has shown the narrator debating and angsting about something, but at this point, I still wasn’t clear what was going on in this scene. By rewriting the scene to convey more action and dialogue, the writer will enable the reader to stay firmly anchored in the moment.


Back to the plus side: the writer does a good job of conveying sexual tension between the two characters in this scene. By reworking it a bit to show us what is happening, rather than telling us, I think the writer will be off to a good start.

Other thoughts about this piece? And, can you share any great ideas you’ve had in the past, which have faltered in the execution? How did you learn about your weaknesses as a writer, and what are you doing to overcome them?

by Clare Langley-Hawthorne

Recently, we have been critiquing first-page submissions here at TKZ and focusing very much on that first ‘inciting incident’ that draws a reader into your book. We’ve emphasised the need to start at the right place (so readers aren’t sitting around twiddling their thumbs through backstory) and to introduce tension, character and exposition in a way that compels a reader to keep reading. 


Achieving all this is no mean feat but for many writers the next critical issue is plotting the rest of the novel so that initial level of tension and excitement doesn’t drift or sag. For me, the hardest part of plotting is keeping things simple (as I have a tendency to overly complicate everything!) and because of this I outline (and re-outline) throughout the writing and editing process. Even if you don’t outline, however, I think you need to have a mental grip on the key elements of plot as you are writing.


Now, I get to make an unsolicited plug for James Scott Bell’s excellent book Plot & Structure: Techniques and exercises for crafting a plot that grips readers from start to finish. In this, Jim summarises the basic plot elements with the acronym LOCK:

• Lead (the main character that draws readers into the story)
• Objective (what gives the lead a reason for being in the story – what compels and drives them -often either to get something or to get away from something)
• Confrontation (the battle between the lead and the opposition – what is preventing the lead from achieving what he/she needs)
• Knockout (an ending that answers all the major questions and which leaves the reader satisfied)

In so doing Jim neatly encapsulates the critical elements needed for a successful book – particularly a thriller or mystery. As Jim points out, confrontation is the engine of plot and at critical junctures in the book the lead must face his/her battles  in order to transition to the next level of confrontation in the story. 


When facing a sagging middle, I always remember Jim’s comment that middles are all about confrontations and setting up for the final battle to come. This helps me keep focus and tension in those murky middle waters. I also find that right from the start I have the key plot elements in mind and these continually inform the writing process and keep me on track. 


So after all the emphasis we have placed on first-pages recently, it’s now time to revisit the plot that drives the rest of the narrative, and for all of you who submitted (and those of you who didn’t), how would you dissect a successful plot down to its constituent parts? What advice would you give to fellow writers on plot and structure?
What, in your view, are the critical plot elements?