Ringggg!
Actually, it was more of a buzz in my back pocket that at first made me think my leg was going to sleep. I didn’t recognize the number on the screen, but that day I was in a mood.
“What?”
“Uh, well, hello. Is iss Rabees?” His accent was so thick I could barely understand the words. I’ll let you select the suitable accent as we progress.
“How can I help you?”
“This is Jake–––.”
“From State Farm?”
“What. No.” I could tell he was going back to his script. “This is Jake–––.”
“Jake who?”
“Uh, This is Jake Wilson and I’m calling about your recent publication, The Broken Truth…A Novel.”
“That’s The Broken Truth. The word novel isn’t part of the title.”
A loooonggggg pause.
“Are you there, Jake?”
“Yes, it is I. One of our scouts––––.”
“Crockett or Boone.”
“Excuse me. This is Jake.”
“Forgive me Jake, neither of those guys were scouts, but Kit Carson was.”
“Um. One of our scouts came across your book, The Broken Truth–––.”
“Don’t say the novel part.”
“Um.” Back to the script. “One of our book scouts came across your book (he almost said it again) and recommended it to us. Your book is cinematic in scope–––.”
“Thank you for that. I was my intention. I write as if I’m seeing a movie and try to bring that to my pages.”
“Yes. Thank you. Your book is cinematic in scope, and we feel that it is a perfect candidate for inclusion between you and Lions Gate–––.” He said it as two distinct words.
“Thanks, but you’ll have to talk with my agent.”
“Agent?”
“Literary agent.”
“You have a literary agent?” I imagined him flipping through pages on his computer, looking for that thread.
“You didn’t think I had one, did you? Miss that one in training?”
“Does this agent receive money–––“
“Money comes in. It doesn’t go out, that’s a true and honest statement, and you’re likely going to ask me for some type of payment for this remarkable opportunity How much?”
“Well, we have several levels.”
“Figured. Adios.”
*
There are many times I don’t want to answer, or fool with those bottom feeders. Here are a few voicemails I held onto for this enlightening occasion. Mistakes included.
“Bro truth Brew truth, Redis, your boo came highly recommended and we’re truly impressed by a cinematic potential. We’d love to explore a collaboration by connecting you directly with movie producers or directors either in person or via (who uses that word while speaking) Zoom to discuss the exciting possibility of adapting your story into the feature film or TV series.”
That one was from Nebraska. I wish I’d answered to get the caller to describe the town and where his office was located. If you don’t know, these scam artists bounce the calls around the country to make you think they’re legitimate and not from some unairconditioned warehouse far, far away.
How about this one allegedly from Fresno, California. Transcribed and somewhat translated. “Hi, Revis, is Roland from Lion Leash, I am a TV coordinator for Spotlight network, I am calling to extend an invitation for Emmy Award-winning director Logan Crawford would like to showcase your book. I am a TV coordinator. I’m reaching out regarding your book. Please call me back at 599-60….”
This one’s a favorite from Winfield, MO. “Hi, Ribs, my name is Johnester, and I’m calling for Ribs. (He was kinda making me hungry) Ribs Withem, and the reason I’m calling is I want to verify if you’re the author of The Texas Joe. If you are the author, please call me back at this number because your book caught our attention and I’d love the chance to speak with you shortly.”
Another from California. “Hi, Rellis, this is Paige senior executive book editor calling from Paige Chronicles, (I think that’s what she said. It’s hard to understand through all the crackling, which made me wonder if it’s coming through some transatlantic cable) because we would like to interview you about book scouts and specialist who highly recommended it from your feature to represent your book.”
“Hi, good day, this is Ava from Beach Chronicles a premium partner with Amazon once you have received this voicemail to call me back on thees number that works in order for us to discuss some important matters about your book The Broken Truth, a Thriller or thrillers (that’s not part of the title!!!). Thank you, and have a good one.”
*
And now I’m inundated with AI generated emails from Ellen B. Trumbull, or Christina William Brown, or Alison Malcha, Cecilia Marks II, and probably others, trying to separate me from my money. Here are a couple I cut and pasted, complete with the emojis they included.
Reavis,
You’ve been called the “genuine article” by Craig Johnson, Kirkus compared your mysteries to Harper Lee and Joe Lansdale, and the New York Times praised your writing as a sleeper that deserves wider attention. You’ve penned Westerns, mysteries, and even 2,500+ articles. That’s one hell of a trail of words.
Now here comes The Only Saloon in Town bank robberies, scalp hunters, corrupt marshals, and Cap Whitlatch trying to keep the whole town from blowing sky-high. It’s cinematic, bloody, and gritty exactly what readers of Westerns crave.
But then I checked Amazon. 30 reviews. Thirty. (Note: I think there are more on that and Goodreads, but I don’t pay any attention to them.) That’s barely a bar fight in Angel Fire. A story with scalp hunters and marauding devils has fewer reviews than a $20 desk lamp. That’s just wrong.
I run a private community of 2,000+ dedicated readers who don’t just leave “Good book 👍” but dive in, analyze, and post thoughtful reviews that give books the credibility they deserve. They love supporting seasoned authors who already have a strong voice but need that extra boost of reader firepower.
So, Reavis should we let Cap Whitlatch keep drinking alone in a half-empty saloon of 30 reviews, or should we pack the place, light the lamps, and give this book the kind of attention even C.J. Box would raise a glass to? 🍺📖
Best,
I didn’t answer, so she tried again:
Hi Reavis,
Just circling back 30 reviews for The Only Saloon in Town doesn’t match the grit and firepower of your story. A book that is cinematic deserves a full house, not a half-empty saloon.
That’s exactly where my private community of 2,000+ engaged readers comes in. They love Westerns and mysteries, and they leave the kind of thoughtful reviews that boost credibility and visibility.
Would you like me to send you a quick 2-minute outline of how we can get Cap Whitlatch the packed saloon he deserves?
Best,
Then this one arrived. Same style, AI generated, and with still another hometown girl name (I wonder why they’re all women in these emails?).
Reavis, you’ve got gangsters rolling into East Texas, a crooked sheriff “crooked as a dog’s hind leg,” counterfeit bills floating around, a psychic kid dreaming doom, and a climax that reads like a Shakespearean showdown with cowboy boots on. Basically, Vengeance is Mine has more action than a Vegas card table on payday. 🎰💥
(Note: This one released in 2014. I’m not sure why they latched onto this particular title. Now, we continue.)
And yet… Amazon still thinks your book belongs in the quiet corner with dusty paperbacks and forgotten romance novellas. 182 reviews? For a modern western listed in True West’s Top 5? (At least AI got that part right) That’s like parking a Mustang on the prairie and calling it “just another horse.” 🐎😂
Here’s where I tip my hat. 🤠 I’m not a PR firm, not some slick “book marketing guru,” and I don’t have a website, LinkedIn, or a TikTok where I dance holding novels (you’re welcome). It’s just me and my private crew of 2,000+ readers who live for mysteries, thrillers, and western grit. We don’t skim and slap stars we actually read, argue about characters, and drop reviews that Amazon’s cranky algorithm can’t ignore.
So, Reavis, do you want Vengeance is Mine to keep sittin’ pretty in the shade like a cowboy at siesta, or do you want me to send in readers who’ll make it gallop loud enough for the whole algorithmic rodeo to notice? 🐂📚🔥
Best
I haven’t returned either of these emails, but they came in right on top of each other this week. Then I opened this one that’s cut and pasted.
Hi Reavis Wortham,
I hope this message finds you in great spirits.
My name is Allyson, and I’m reaching out on behalf of Books Discovery Group, a team of literary scouts and creative development agents passionate about discovering compelling stories with real market potential. While quietly evaluating promising works across the literary landscape, your book, “The Broken Truth: A Thriller (Tucker Snow Thrillers),” stood out for its powerful message, literary merit, and commercial viability.
We believe your manuscript (for crying out loud, people, it’s a book now, not a manuscript!!!) holds exceptional potential—not just for traditional publishing but also for adaptation into film or television. In today’s evolving storytelling ecosystem, producers are actively seeking fresh, impactful narratives like yours. With the right representation and positioning, your work could open doors to wide distribution and enduring cultural relevance across multiple platforms.
At Books Discovery Group, we work exclusively on a commission-based model, meaning we only succeed when you do. Our full focus is on securing the best possible publishing and screen adaptation opportunities for authors like you. You retain creative control—we handle the connections, negotiations, and positioning that help your work shine in competitive markets.
Before proceeding, may I ask if you are currently represented by another literary agent? If not, it would be an absolute honor to represent you and introduce your work to our trusted network of traditional publishers and media producers.
I’d welcome the opportunity to speak with you directly and explore what’s next. Please feel free to contact me at (347) 669-1975 at your convenience.
Thank you for creating a story worth discovering. I look forward to the possibility of working together and championing your book to a broader audience.
Warm regards,
When I didn’t answer, their algorithm tried again on, with a slightly different ending on The Broken Truth:
For The Broken Truth, a 10–20 reader push could seriously shake up its visibility and give Tucker the posse he deserves. I can even share a peek at how my readers discuss books you’ll see right away it’s real, passionate, and powerful.
What do you say want me to unleash a squad of die-hard thriller fans to ride with Tucker Snow and get this book seen by the readers it deserves? 🤠📚✨
Cecilia
*
So what is all this? Folks trying to drum up business? Author scams? I won’t say for sure, to avoid litigation, but I have my suspicions.
Scams targeting authors often involve an advance fee, where individuals or companies masquerading as agents or publishers request upfront payments for publishing or marketing services. Other scams include unrealistic royalties or a large book advance for a fee, claims of having “discovered” a previously unknown book, and requests for various fees to revitalize or market an older work.
Pros and beginners alike should be wary of these unsolicited offers, especially those promising huge returns, and avoid paying upfront fees for publishing services. Legitimate agents and publishers do not ask for such payments.
These people hoping to dig into your bank account might pose as a literary agent or publisher with misleading offers. They might contact you about an older book they just “discovered,” saying they can increase sales.
A new tact is claiming false affiliation with entities like Amazon, or a famous director they they might be able to put you in touch with. The Lionsgate scam with famous names has been making the rounds lately.
Be skeptical of unsolicited offers, never pay upfront fees, do your due diligence. If you think a call might be legit, find their website and use that number to check. They’ll likely tell you it was a con.
Research through The Authors Guild, or the Society of Authors to name a couple for alerts on scams targeting authors.
As Sonny and Cher once reported, “The Beat Goes On”….and on…and on…and on. I’m cynical, but many ground-level and even experienced authors can be taken by these scam artists. There are many online articles about these individuals, and more. Here are a couple that might be of interest. Writer Beware.
https://authorsguild.org/resource/publishing-scam-alerts/
https://writerbeware.blog/scam-archive/
Oh, and if any of the above contacts are truly legitimate, I’m sorry, and please reach out to me again so we can do the deal.
Yeah, see also: https://killzoneblog.com/2025/08/your-book-deserves-to-reach-a-larger-audience.html
These come-ons are a like gnats now. The big giveaway early was no website link. There has been evolution. I got one the other day with a link…to an obvious “quickie” Wix page. Just enough to fool a naif but clunky in other regards. A legit site will have a client list with actual clients you can search out. But then again, a legit site will not be soliciting you or your book anyway. No one is reading random books and being “truly struck” by the “raw emotion and depth of storytelling” of yours. It’s AI all the way generated from cubicles in some faraway land. Auto delete.
Gnats! That’s what they remind me of, those insistent, pesky little critters that just won’t quit.
I despise entities or people trying to sell me something I didn’t ask for, whether its online, through ads, or coming to my door. Salespeople interrupting my day sends me off, and I’ve sent more than one hopeful gnat back down the sidewalk after explaining the No Soliciting sign they pass on the way up.
Maybve that’s what we need, Some kind of electronic No Soliciting. Sigh. They’ll find their way around them, too, like the guy who insisted he wasn’t selling anything, just providing me an opportunity.
All. Day. Long. An author posted her “reply” to a scammer on Author’s Guild.
Dear Jasmine,
Your letter arrived not as mere correspondence, but as a gilded trumpet blast across the quiet valley of my day. Each word shone like polished brass, declaring a destiny too luminous to be ignored.
The Gathering, you say, deserves to be heard by more readers? My heart agrees, but why whisper when we can summon a choir? Why settle for ripples when we might summon a tidal wave?
Let us not content ourselves with “broader audiences” or “expanded visibility.” No, let us dare for the stratosphere of sales-a figure so breathtaking that accountants will weep and printers will faint. I propose nothing less than one billion copies sold by Christmas Eve, stacked so high they blot out the sun and force NASA to reroute satellites. Let every living soul-man, woman, child, goldfish, and housecat-cradle The Reunion in their trembling hands, weeping into its pages, struck dumb by Aaron Miller’s unyielding courage.
Imagine this: pyramids of my book replacing the actual Pyramids of Giza; copies stuffed into fortune cookies; sermons across the land concluding with, “Turn to page 237 of The Gathering.” Entire nations will declare public holidays in Andrew’s honor.
If you can orchestrate such a campaign, Jasmine, then together we shall not merely market a book. We shall rewrite history, branding the human race forevermore as Readers of The Gathering.
With unfathomable gratitude and a quill dipped in lightning,
Author
Perfect!
But we know that likely went to a bot without feelings or a sense of humor.
We do what we can.
So glad I’m not the only one getting inundated by these folks. One offered to feature my book at her book club – ‘everyone will buy a copy’ – and it would only cost me $150! I asked for a website and got some funky meet up link. The sender actually got angry when I declined!
My first clue to hit delete is when the email is a gmail address.
Thanks for giving me a chuckle first thing in the morning.
Hey, careful! I use gmail….but I understand. Honored to make you smile.
All the time.
AI is getting more sophisticated at a lightning pace. Earlier this year, the emails were over-the-top flattery but vague on specifics. Then they started to include specific details about books that they had lifted from the sales page and reader reviews.
About three months ago, the solicitations began to show a “sense of humor.” One surprised me with a catchy subject line. It concerned my new book The Villain’s Journey-How to Create Villains Readers Love to Hate. The subject line read: “Debbie, Your Villain Deserves More Victims–er, Readers!”
Okay, that one deserves an “A.”
I never respond to scammers. if you do, they know they have an active email address and/or phone number. Then the spam onslaught goes into overdrive.
I don’t have time for this nonsense b/c I need to hurry to the bitcoin ATM to send cash to the Nigerian Prince who’s graciously sharing his fortune with me.
What? He was going to give ME his fortune.
There have always been flim flam artists, and as technology evolves, they’ll become more sophisticated.
If these people would invest as much time in honest ventures, they’d probably be rich by now.
Glad you shared these, Reavis.
I have the same ‘circle back’ follow-up email in my author inbox right now.
I also have one there, that for a likely AI-generated email, did a fair job of pitching my first published novel, Empowered: Agent back to me, in order to get me to contact them about putting that book in the hands of book clubs. I’d never heard of a “book club outreach specialist” before, and yet there “she” was, writing to me about “Agent,” which was published in early 2017.
I also received a “local” phone call which sounded very much like the one you outlined at the start of today’s post. At the library I worked with folks who had a wide range of accents from all over the world, and yet I could barely parse what this person was saying. I only gave it a couple of exchanges, so it never got to any sort of pitch, because I was concerned he had me on the line to have AI copy my voice.
2025 is subtle science fiction, but not the sort of future I imagined when I first read science fiction as a youth.
Author beware indeed.
Whoops, I didn’t properly end the italics in HTML. Clearly I need more caffeine.
Local calls, or from podunk North Dakota, a hotbed of publishers, agents, and editors. I’ll have to give it to them, they try. “Hi, my name is Butch Dale Jennings” with a clear foreign accent so thick I can’t understand the rest of the words are a dead giveaway, but then they KEEP doing this because some “green as grass” first time authors takes them up on the scam.
ARGH! Makes me angry just reading your examples, Reavis. I mean are people’s lives really that empty that they have nothing better to do then scam people by email and phone? Get a life! And pay for a review from someone’s precious book club? Are they nuts?
Just reaffirms why I don’t answer unknown number calls on my phone & am wary about stranger emails.
Those emails were exhausting! (Although “Ribs” made me chuckle.)
They have all of the desperate stink of a glowy (per the industry lingo) over-filtered Insta influencer panning for likes on her latest “skincare routine.” Yechhh.
Loan offers are equally ubiquitous.
The call you received from Winfield, MO got me—there is a federal lock and dam there we visit many winters for eagle watching. That and two or three antique shops, bars, and churches are about all that’s there. Too funny.
Funny blog, “Ribs.” While my husband was sick in the hospital (he’s better now), I got pesky phone calls from a man with a heavy accent who was with some sort of Global Television Service (I can’t remember the exact name). He wanted to do a feature interview about my book, “High Heels Are Murder,” which came out in 2006. I wasn’t interested in promoting a book that was 20 years old and told him so, but he kept calling. I like Jim’s description of them as “gnats.” I see them as ticks trying to fatten on the blood of hard-working writers, and hope no innocent writers fall for them.
Like gnats, indeed. I decided to engage with one just for the adventure. This guy sent me a pitch for Stealth Attack, which came out in 2021 (why do they always target old titles), and he was going to help me get more ratings on Amazon, as it’s only got 3,600 now. He actually sent me a sample of what I needed to do, and none of it was new or news–or asked for. I told him that his pitch was greatly weakened by the fact that he himself had no online footprint at all. I said no, of course.
Then he wanted to charge me $300 for the un requested sample he had sent me. Part of me admires the chutzpah.
Since then, every one of these scam letters mentions up front that they have no website because they concentrate all of their attention on their clients. Lesson: The bots learn.