What We Do

If and when the apocalypse finally happens and I survive, I’m gonna be the most pissed-off human left on the earth. I can’t stand for my hair to be long, and I have to shave every day. The stubble under my neck drives me crazy, and all the Road Warrior gangs better steer clear.

I finally found a real barbershop. Not a hair salon, stylist center, hair spa, or hair stylist. It’s an old-school barbershop with hair on the floor, slightly uncomfortable chairs, and the smell of Barbicide or Pinaud, with an undertone of cigars and pipe smoke.

A rack of magazines sits beside the door, ranging from shooting sports, hunting, cars, or anything with Texas in the title.

The two barbers who’ve retired from either law enforcement or the military. How do I know? Their own haircuts, tattoos, and the subject matter they discuss. I haven’t asked, though.

Most of the time I simply walk in and one of them is available, scissors in hand and lightly clicking as if waiting for a head.

Today was different. Both chairs were occupied, and I was in a hurry. A lively discussion about wild hogs bounced back and forth between the barbers and one customer who was draped and seated.

A redheaded gentleman sat beside a mom concentrating on her phone, waiting for her son’s fancy haircut to be finished. Beside him, a bent man with hair whiter than my own listened to the exchange, hands on the head of his cane and smiling as if he knew a secret.

Barber One stepped back to judge the length of his young project’s sideburns. “Well, I believe we can’t kill enough hogs. I hear there are nearly three million of them in the state.”

Feral hogs are so destructive to crops and land, it’s estimated they cost Texans between $400 to $500 million dollars each year. They’re dangerous to humans and animals, destroy habitat, and carry communicative diseases that can be passed on to livestock.

Redhead chuckled. “About half of them are rooting up my pasture.”

“I heard Constable Rick killed one off his porch the other morning,” I said.

Barber One shook his head. “Well, that leaves two million, nine hundred ninety-nine more.”

Barber Two paused, thinking. “How many piglets can a feral sow have at a time?”

“Six to twelve,” I recalled. “Usually six, I’ve heard, but I don’t know anyone who goes out and counts them.”

“Well, then we’re back up to three million and five by now, as fast as those things reproduce.”

The discussion continued until it was my time in the chair. He shook out the drape and clipped it around my neck.

“What are we doing for you today?”

“Short. No skin showing.”

“Got it.”

The youngster stepped down from Barber One’s chair, to be replaced by the white-haired man who creaked his way to the chair and settled in. I met the elderly gentleman’s eyes and he nodded a hello.

The barber wrapped his neck. “How are we cutting today, sir?”

“Make it look good, like it’s not a fresh cut.”

“Trying to make an impression?”

“I have a lot of people coming to visit.”

“Birthday. Anniversary?”

“Funeral.”

“Sorry to hear. Hope it wasn’t someone close.”

“About as close as it can be. It’s me.”

I raised an eyebrow, waiting for the punchline.

The elderly man smiled. “I’m dying.”

Barber Two chuckled. “Aren’t we all.”

I closed my eyes, listening.

“No. Really. The doctors released me a few days ago after I was in the hospital for several weeks. Said my kidneys are failing and there’s nothing else they can do. Sent me home with hospice.” He sighed. “I have a kidney infection now, and they figure I won’t see Monday.”

My barber paused. “Well, doctors don’t know everything.”

“They don’t, but I know how I feel.” He chuckled and I cracked an eye open again. He was honestly cheerful, and I still thought he was setting us up.

“But it’s okay. I’ve done it all. I was married to a wonderful woman who’s already up there waiting for me. My daughters are successful businesswomen and moms, and my son’ll come to his senses one of these days. Maybe this’ll straighten him out.

“I’ve traveled the world, vacationed in every state. Hunting and fished here in the U.S., shot big game in Africa, caught marlin from blue water and sailed on a big three-masted schooner.”

The shop was silent. Even their scissors weren’t clicking.

“I’ve driven good cars, eaten fine food, though I still think home fried chicken is best, and watched good people do great things.”

Barber One started to speak, but had to stop and clear his throat. “So you figure you needed a haircut.”

“Wanted to take one last thing off my list.” The gentleman’s smile was as wide as a four-lane highway. “I have most everything else taken care of. Gave my guns away to son-in-laws and good friends who’re still young enough to use them.

“I just wish I could hunt quail one more time. I miss that most, following dogs on a chilly morning. I wonder if quail and dogs will be in heaven.” He paused, veering off again. “No matter. You know, I’m looking forward to seeing my mama again.”

A few minutes later, Barber Two gave my shoulder a pat and spun me around to face the big mirror on the wall. “All finished.”

Apparently, my instructions weren’t clear enough. My hair looked as if I’d just joined the military. “Well, thanks.”

I stepped outside to consider my new head and what I’d heard. It was a lot to absorb, and I was still standing there when the old gentleman came outside.

He gave me that same wide grin and I couldn’t help but smile, too. “I know you.”

“You do?”

“Yep, I’ve been reading your newspaper columns for years, and most of your books, though that spooky one was a little much. Reading this last few years has been all I can do, so your stories have help passed the time.”

We stood there for a second before I held out my hand. “Thanks for reading my work.”

He nodded. “Not much to say, is there?” He shifted his cane and paused. “I’d rather have a hug, if it’s all the same to you.”

There in front of the barbershop, we hugged, and I let him be the one to step back. He winked. “Good luck.”

I patted his shoulder. “At least you got a better haircut than this one.”

“That’s what I was thinking,” he said and walked slowly away.

On the way home, other similar conversations came to mind, and that’s the purpose of this discussion. As writers, we’re entertainers, and our work is impactful in more ways than we expect. More than once I’ve heard my brother from another mother, John Gilstrap, say we’re entertainers, and that’s the God’s honest truth.

During a signing at the Barnes and Noble in Garland, Texas, about five years ago, a woman asked me to sign a stack of books bearing my name. “I have your new one here, but these others belonged to my husband.”

For once I knew when to keep my mouth shut, so I waited.

“He died a month ago from cancer, and your books helped him get through the chemo and these last months. He made me promise to buy everything you write, because he was such a big fan.”

Eyes stinging, I stepped around the signing table, and we stood there with our arms around each other long enough for a couple of other fans to tear up. My allergies must have been acting up, because my eyes watered for a long time after that.

Not getting too deep into a friend’s life, but a woman I’ve known for several years also gave my earlier books to her son who was suffering from cancer. He had a rough time of it, and at the end, she and his young wife read aloud to him when he could no longer focus. I had the honor of talking with him on the phone from across the country and had to clear my voice several times. We visited until his strength went that day and he was gone not long after that.

Don’t underestimate your work. It will impact others, and you probably won’t even know about it.

 

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About Reavis Wortham

NYT Bestselling Author and two-time Spur Award winner Reavis Z. Wortham pens the Texas Red River historical mystery series, and the high-octane Sonny Hawke contemporary western thrillers. His new Tucker Snow series begins in 2022. The Red River books are set in rural Northeast Texas in the 1960s. Kirkus Reviews listed his first novel in a Starred Review, The Rock Hole, as one of the “Top 12 Mysteries of 2011.” His Sonny Hawke series from Kensington Publishing features Texas Ranger Sonny Hawke and debuted in 2018 with Hawke’s Prey. Hawke’s War, the second in this series won the Spur Award from the Western Writers Association of America as the Best Mass Market Paperback of 2019. He also garnered a second Spur for Hawke’s Target in 2020. A frequent speaker at literary events across the country. Reavis also teaches seminars on mystery and thriller writing techniques at a wide variety of venues, from local libraries to writing conventions, to the Pat Conroy Literary Center in Beaufort, SC. He frequently speaks to smaller groups, encouraging future authors, and offers dozens of tips for them to avoid the writing pitfalls and hazards he has survived. His most popular talk is entitled, My Road to Publication, and Other Great Disasters. He has been a newspaper columnist and magazine writer since 1988, penning over 2,000 columns and articles, and has been the Humor Editor for Texas Fish and Game Magazine for the past 25 years. He and his wife, Shana, live in Northeast Texas. All his works are available at your favorite online bookstore or outlet, in all formats. Check out his website at www.reaviszwortham.com. “Burrows, Wortham’s outstanding sequel to The Rock Hole combines the gonzo sensibility of Joe R. Lansdale and the elegiac mood of To Kill a Mockingbird to strike just the right balance between childhood innocence and adult horror.” —Publishers Weekly (starred review) “The cinematic characters have substance and a pulse. They walk off the page and talk Texas.” —The Dallas Morning News On his most recent Red River novel, Laying Bones: “Captivating. Wortham adroitly balances richly nuanced human drama with two-fisted action, and displays a knack for the striking phrase (‘R.B. was the best drunk driver in the county, and I don’t believe he run off in here on his own’). This entry is sure to win the author new fans.” —Publishers Weekly “Well-drawn characters and clever blending of light and dark kept this reader thinking of Ray Bradbury’s Something Wicked This Way Comes, and Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird.” —Mystery Scene Magazine

24 thoughts on “What We Do

  1. Words to think about, Rev. I hope my little ventures into made up people and places can bring escape to others.

  2. A dear friend is in hospice. She’s always been a big booster of my books, setting me up to give talks in her senior community. We’d take frequent trips to a local used bookstore where she’d fill orders requested by the community library.

    She’s the best proofreader I ever met. She always caught goofs that had slipped past multiple beta readers and editors.

    For weeks, she’d been asking when the proof copy of my new book was coming. A few days ago, it arrived and I took it to show her. She could barely talk but she smiled and held it in her hands as if it was the greatest book ever written. Then she noticed the blue sticky notes where I’d marked typos.

    She whispered, “I should have been proofreading.”

    • Perfect! I’ve lost several friends while in hospice, and many of them kept their sense of humor. I hope I can do the same, if and when that time comes.

  3. It is an awesome world. Sometimes the good we might do can come back to us. I only hope a reader will want to hug me some day.

  4. Today’s post hit me squarely in the feels, Rev. You’re so right, we should never underestimate the impact our work has on readers. Truly we’ll never know all of that impact.

    As writers, I believe we must honor our innate need to write by writing, but it’s also important to remember we are honoring readers when we do so, presenting them with another opportunity to be moved by what they read.

    Thanks so much, Rev. Now please excuse me while I go find a tissue.

  5. When readers have told me one of my books got them through hard times in hospitals and in life, I’ve always considered that my greatest achievement as a writer.

  6. That’s a legacy bigger than Texas–and worth more than all the oil there, too. Thank you for sharing this. I’m encouraged, though I’ll have to wait a few minutes before I begin my morning writing session–allergies seem to have run amok this morning.

  7. Thanks, Rev…

    Many, many times I log in to TKZ of a morning and find just what I need to hear. This post is moving to the top of that list. 🙂

    Have a great day, Sir!

  8. It’s no coincidence that you were both at that barbershop at that time. You both received a blessing from that meeting. You received the most honest affirmation of what your writing means to your readers. And the white-haired gentleman received a final embrace from the world he was leaving, an avowal that he was seen and would be remembered.

  9. Wow, sir. Just wow. Thanks for reminding me of the letters I’ve gotten about my books helping people through bad, even awful times. Sometimes I get so focused on the work itself, that I lose sight of the actual goal. You have just pounded it home in a way I will never forget.

  10. God promised me my mama would read my book, and two weeks before she passed, a UPS truck pulled up to her house, where she lived with my sister and handed mama my book wrapped in cardboard. She had to wait for my sister to get home from work to open the package, but my sister said she had the biggest smile on her face when she picked it up and flipped through it. And she was able to read a page or two. She was so proud of my writing, goodness knows she’d read enough of the bad stuff I’d written that I was happy she’d gotten to read something good. Beautiful post, Reavis. Just beautifu.

    And now she’s looking down from heaven, cheering me on. And I kind of think she’s proud of #19 releasing in November. She always encouraged me, even after reading some of my early stuff and still encouraged me.

    My daughter is writing niw and I hope to do the same thing for her. Lovely post, Rev

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