Confessions of a Book Reviewer

I’m rushing to finish the rewrite of my new novel.  Will the reviewers like it? Here’s a repeat of an interview with a reviewer.

Confessions of a Book Reviewer

By Elaine Viets

A reviewer for a major print magazine complained to me about a novel he was reading, when it dawned on me – this was news writers could use. If we know what’s wrong, we can fix it before the reviewer writes about it, for all the (mystery) world to read.
This reviewer is not some crank who looks for excuses to rip writers. If he has to give a book a bad review, he agonizes over that decision.
But here are some writing wrongs that upset this reviewer.

(1) Padded Middles. This is my reviewer’s number one problem – novels that slow down in the middle. “The padding doesn’t advance the narrative,” the reviewer said. “It’s pages and pages of the thoughts and feelings of people who aren’t very interesting. They offer no valuable insights. Sometimes, I wonder if editors make writers add this unnecessary information because big books are so popular. Most books I’ve read recently are 20 to 30 pages too long. Often, there’s a good book buried in that excess fat.”

(2) Switching names. “The character is introduced as Joseph Smith. Then the author proceeds to call him Joe, Joey, Joseph, and sometimes just Smith. It’s hard to figure out who the writer is talking about.”

(3) Who’s talking? “A character is introduced in the first 50 pages, and then shows up 200 pages later with no ID.” Take tax accountant Mary Rogers. She has a brief scene in Chapter 2 and then in Chapter 25 we see this line: “I think the suspect embezzled half a million dollars,” said Mary Rogers.
Huh? Our reviewer said, “I’m frantically pawing through the book, trying to figure out who Mary Rogers is and why she’s saying that.

“It would help if the author gave us a hint who Mary was. Something like this:

‘I think the suspect embezzled half a million dollars,’ said tax accountant Mary Rogers.’ That two-word take makes it easier for readers.”

(4) Writers who fixate on a certain word. “Like ass. I read an author who used ‘ass’ constantly. His character fell on his ass, showed his ass, got his ass kicked and had his ass handed to him. He dealt with asshats, ass clowns and of course, assholes.”

Cuss words are necessary for realism, but don’t overdo it.

(5) Dumb and proud of it. “Writers who want to assert their real-people identities trot out lowbrow snobbery. Their favorite phrase is ‘I don’t know anything about . . .’ Then you can choose one or more of these – opera, classical music, gourmet food, Shakespeare.”

Assume your readers are intelligent – after all, they bought your book.

(6) The hero with the drinking problem. He – or sometimes she – “is haunted by the awful things they did when they were on the sauce. Yes, people drink. And some authors handle this well. But most of these characters are tiresome cliches.” Reading these novels is like getting your ear bent by the garrulous drunk at the end of the bar.

(7) Writers who don’t do their research. If you really want to frost this reviewer, have your hero open a Heineken with a twist-off cap – there’s no such animal. And Jack Daniel’s whiskey always has an apostrophe.

If you’re writing a thriller set in Nazi Germany, you’ll score extra points with this reviewer if you don’t say “Hitler was elected president in a democratic election.” You’ll find plenty of people who’ll write that, but the Website Mythfact.com says it’s complicated.
“In America we hear ‘Hitler was elected President in a Democracy’ a lot,” the website says, “but the sentence is so semantically wrong . . . In summary, the whole thing is almost too complex to apply the ol’ ‘Hitler was elected democratically’ quip to, but since it is important, perhaps it is best phrased as, ‘Hitler and the NAZI party seized power in a democratic system.’”
Got that? Good.

(8) Basic copyediting errors. “These are turning up in books by major authors,” our reviewer said. “I’ve seen ‘grizzly murders,’ when I’m quite sure the local bears are innocent. Clothes are tossed down a ‘laundry shoot,’ and people ‘tow the line.’” If you really want to see steam come out of this reviewer’s ears, mix up “it’s” with “its” and “your” with “you’re.” Granted, we all make mistakes, especially when we’re writing quickly. But somebody should catch those errors before the book is printed.

(9) TMI in the first chapter. Nearly every one of us at TKZ has written about this problem. Overcrowded first chapters slow the pace of your novel. Our reviewer said, “It stops a good book dead when the first chapter has an overlarge cast of characters and I can’t keep them straight.”

Reader, what stops you when you’re reading a novel?

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Enjoy A Scarlet Death, my new Angela Richman mystery. The hardcover is $4 off here: https://tinyurl.com/mts557z5

 

 

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About Elaine Viets

Elaine Viets has written 30 mysteries in four series, including 15 Dead-End Job mysteries. BRAIN STORM, her first Angela Richman, Death Investigator mystery, is published as a trade paperback, e-book, and audio book. www.elaineviets.com

36 thoughts on “Confessions of a Book Reviewer

  1. Good morning!
    #6 I have reached the point where I read a ‘one drink away from unemployment detective’ I just stop reading. Ditto drunk away his marriage, family, children, or partner.

    It has been done. Probably better by someone else.

  2. I just read a novel by a famous author, and three main characters were Decker, Becker, and Baker. Who would do that? I was constantly looking back to see which guy was talking. Or getting shot.

  3. The thing that’s turning me off books right now is when the protag does too many cliche things in a row that (I determine) is out of character, then I actually think about it and realize I don’t know the character at all even a hundred pages in.

  4. Thanks to the reviewer and you, Elaine, for this list. Like you said, “this was news writers could use.”

    My favorite are the copyediting errors. I see a lot of these. A few years ago, I attended a lecture by an editor on why authors need editors. One of her slides had a sentence something like “It’s you’re book, so make it the best it can be.” At first I thought it was a joke, but it wasn’t. Evidence that everybody needs a good editor, even the editors.

  5. Helpful insights from a book reviewer, Elaine. Padded middles bring me to a halt every time. Different names for the same character can be a challenge to follow as well.

  6. Great post. Sometimes the middle is like those FB reels where something is going to happen, but the actors keep repeating and interrupting the flow of the reel, stretching it out. And I agree that padding in the middle is often done to make a book bigger.

  7. Now that I’m more awake, thanks to strong black “Awake” tea and a walk, i wanted to add that, as a writer, of course I face the muddle in the middle as well. I lean heavily on JSB’s mirror moment at the midpoint, which for me, is also an act break, since I use a four-act structure in most of my books. YMMV but this one really helps me 🙂

  8. I don’t like copyediting issues. Read a book by an author I like, and I’m wondering if this one had a different editor. Lots of little things, silly things, like the character named Billie showed up once as Billy. Wrong punctuation, minor typos.
    But what’s more of a stopper for me is a character I don’t like. Not sure an editor can do much about that, because it’s a matter of personal taste.

  9. Dislikable characters are a stopper for me, too, Terry. I gave up on a book because it didn’t like ANYONE in it and didn’t want to spend time with them.

  10. I agree with these. Especially the minor characters who show up with no identifying who they are. Sometimes, it helps even with suspects or other major players if we haven’t seen them for a while. Just a line or a phrase will clue me back in. We don’t need the entire backstory a second time (please).

    Speaking of which, the dreaded backstory dump in chapter one kills me every time. Still not as bad as the book I read that had flashbacks in chapters 2-4 giving us the background on the main character before continuing on with the rest of the mystery. I seem to be alone in thinking that was a bad thing, however. Most people praised that novel and it was nominated for awards. (Might have won some, but it’s been a while since it came out.)

  11. Yeah, there was a sonic boom as I returned “Confederacy of Dunces” to the library from the parking lot, where I’d only had it open for two minutes. The MC was the author’s self-image. Knowing how it all ended, I couldn’t force myself to read further than Page 2, then skimmed here and there, looking for some excellence. IMNSHO, wasn’t any.

    My theory: every story, given its MC, has a natural length +/- 5,000 words. Longer requires padding; shorter requires a padded cell to finish, or fewer characters.

  12. Elaine, thanks for sharing the reviewer’s inside scoop. The same things bother me as a reader. As an editor, I see all nine crammed into the same ms!

    In the early days of self-publishing, these booboos were common and gave indie books a bad reputation. Now the same issues show up in bestsellers published by big houses. When they downsize editorial staff, the result is a sorry mess.

    • You are so right, Debbie. And the surviving editors get more and more work piled on them.
      I worked as a proofreader. Medical books in the old days were given FOUR readings. Many novels barely get two.

  13. One book I read by bestselling author had so many names of people and places that started with C that I began to tabulate them. Total was over 30. Maybe it was a dare from someone?

  14. Good article! As a mystery writer, I struggle with how much back story to include, and where. While I try to use only what’s necessary without stopping the story dead, I’m currently on book two of a paranormal cozy series in which the setting has some unusual twists that the reader needs to understand. As for the other issues, I totally agree about the importance of good editing (I’m both traditionally and self-published). With character names, I make an alphabetized list so I can avoid too many starting with the same sound. But occasionally internal repetition may slip through (Sandra and Kendra, for instance).

    • I keep a list of names, too, and a “bible” with important information about characters, where they live and what they drive. Good luck on your new book. Sounds like fun.

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