by James Scott Bell
@jamesscottbell
On occasion a writer is tapped to make some remarks in a public setting. For some, this is as enticing as a root canal, or being forced to watch The Golden Bachelor. We’ve given out some good advice on public speaking here at TKZ (you can use the search box). Today, I’d like to talk about things you should never do when giving a speech.
To help me out, I call upon the great American humorist Robert Benchley. Benchley came to prominence with a stage performance called “The Treasurer’s Report.” It was a hilarious bit about a befuddled man trying to make a dull presentation somewhat entertaining. It was turned into a short film in 1928 and is one of the earliest “talkies” ushered in by The Jazz Singer.
Benchley gave a similar performance the 1943 movie The Sky’s the Limit, starring Fred Astaire. It gives us a compendium of speaking blunders we should attend to.
Take a look at this:
What did Mr. Benchley do wrong here?
Throat clearing (literally and figuratively). He announces that he has some remarks “by way of introduction.” Well, duh! That’s why he’s up there. You don’t need to tell your audience you are there to make some remarks. Just start remarking.
Which brings us to your opening words. So many speakers get introduced, then step up to the microphone and say something like, “Thank you, Jan, for that lovely introduction.” This is the equivalent of throat clearing. These words that go through the ears out right out of the heads of the audience. They are waiting for what you to say that they haven’t heard before.
Joke intro: “I’m reminded of a story, which probably most of you have heard…”
First of all, it’s very hard to tell a joke successfully in a speech. Some people are natural at it and can get away with it, but they never announce that they are about to tell a joke. That raises expectations and increases the chance of bombing.
If you’ve got a funny line that you have tested before others, go ahead and toss it in, without any additions.
Don’t laugh at your own stories or offhand remarks. Let the audience do all the reacting.
Don’t look above the audience. Make eye contact. I usually find a few friendly faces on either side of a room to return to.
Don’t intro your slides. You’ve got slides? That’s good. When they to on, guess what? The audiences sees them. That’s the wonder of it. In any event, you don’t have to say you have prepared some slides. Make them appear, then say what you need to say about them. Which assumes, of course, you know everything on them, unlike Mr. Benchley:
And now the ending:
First, don’t drink water during your talk (unless necessary for survival).
Second, stick your landing. Know your ending. It’s that last note you leave with your audience. Don’t befuddle it.
Third, always leave sooner rather than later.
On occasion, Mark Twain would attend the services of Dr. Doane, later Bishop of Albany, but then the Rector of an Episcopal church in Hartford. The good doctor was not known for his brevity. His sermons tended to go on…and on. Twain, one of the world’s great speakers, wondered how to offer some advice to the minister. One Sunday he took his chance.
“A fine sermon this morning,” Twain said. “You know, I have a book at home containing every word of it.”
“You have not!” Dr. Doane said.
“I do indeed.”
“Well, you send that book to me. I’d like to see it.”
“I will,” Twain said. The following day he sent Dr. Doane an unabridged dictionary.
These are some big “don’ts” of public speaking. Any others you’d like to add?
Yuck. Thankfully I haven’t had to do any public speaking. I appreciate people who use humor but don’t think that’s a forte of mine so I can’t picture myself making a joke. I don’t know how much time people spend preparing to speak publically, and I’m sure it varies based on experience level, but I would guess the problem for me would be preparing well ahead of time but not being too rigid in the actual speaking event. I’ll be curious to see what others comments are. I would assume the level of ease or difficulty also has to do with whether you are an introvert or extrovert.
Hi BK, it’s not so much introvert or extrovert, but rather structured or unstructured. At least that’s how it works for me as an introvert. I can do well behind a podium with notes in hand and a time limit. But put me in a crowd of people for a social gathering?! eek!
I attend conferences as part of my day-job, and have spoken at one or two (the first was terrifying).
A couple of adds to your list:
• Don’t read your slides…
• Don’t use slides that are all words (and poorly and/or inconsistently formatted)
• You can’t “pants” public speaking
• Don’t rattle your keys in your pocket next to your seated co-speaker (Not that I’ve ever done such a thing…🙄)
Good points, George. Esp. the pantsing bit. I’ve listened to speakers who are so sold on themselves they think the audience will follow them down any trail. Some will, I suppose, but the disorganization is mosstly a waste of time.
A few days ago, I did a presentation for a local MWA chapter, and I think I did all right. I don’t consider what I did as a “speech” though. I had notes with speaker points and took it from there.
I think I stuck my landing with “Any Questions?” 🙂
Pet peeve. People who obviously read their presentations. Sounds stilted and turns me off.
But speeches — those are different, and I can forgive reading them. Mostly.
Happy Sunday.
It’s hard to read a speech all the way through. For keynotes, I’ve used notes with occasional quotes that can, undertandably, be read. An outline keeps me from wasting people’s time.
Don’t wing it. Practice, practice, practice. Knowing the subject inside out, upside down, and backwards builds your confidence.
Don’t assume A/V techie equipment will work seamlessly–it never does. Always check out beforehand if cables/adapters/etc. are needed? Do the slides display properly on someone else’s screen? Does the mic screech if you move too close to the amp?
Don’t wear jewelry that clinks against the mic (speaking from experience).
If you don’t know the answer to a question, don’t panic. Be honest. Say you don’t know but you’ll research it and get back to them. Then follow through! You’ll learn something new. In certain settings, it may be appropriate to ask, “Is someone else in the audience more expert than I am?”
Do engage the audience. Ask questions about what they like or are interested in. Remember, the talk isn’t about you, it’s about them.
Debbie, you are so right about the equipment! I always get to the room early and make sure to know the tech guy by name.
Another to add: Don’t wear your name tag or badge when you speak.
Great tips, Jim.
One additional tip: If you will be using a mic, ask the sound tech for a mic check before your speech, so that s/he can adjust the settings for you before you start speaking. And learn how to use a mic: If you’re holding it, keep it a consistent distance from your mouth, and in front of your mouth (not down on your chest). If your mic is attached to the podium, don’t move into and out of the mic range. That drives listeners crazy.
Right on, Steve. There’s the lavalier option, too, but for some reason I prefer a handheld mic. Either way, sound check for sure.
The comments already mentioned are great, especially about knowing your subject. For a speech, shorter is better. My pastor once said f he couldn’t get his message across in 20 minutes, he wasn’t going to get it across in 30, either.
Totally agree. My sweet spot is 25 minutes. Some speakers are mezmerizing for longer than that, but that can be a trap if they overdo it. Going on too long ruins any magic that came before.
My dad had an uncle who was a circuit riding preacher in the Shenandoah Valley back in mid-1940’s and ‘50’s who put his watch on the pulpit and would stop after 15 minutes, claiming you’d start repeating yourself and insulting your congregation, er, audience…
I had a preaching professor in seminary who reminded us that the mind can only take what the seat can endure.
😂
I love the Mark Twain story. I’ve sat through a few presentations like that.
Like others have said, it’s important to be prepared and stick to the topic. The audience is there to learn something, so don’t waste their time. (My experience from teaching a few courses and giving a few talks is that is takes about eight hours of preparation for an hour of presentation.)
And if you use slides, please make sure they’re clear and easy to read. I’ve sat through presentations where the speaker put up a slide and then said, “I know you can’t see this, but …” Grrr.
Ack! Talk about a balloon puncture!
I do like slides to have solid infomraation. I’ve seen some presentations with too many “cutesy” slides. More annoying than anything else.
Great post, Jim, and very timely for me as I’m teaching my first workshop (only 50 minutes) at a writers conference in a couple of weeks.
I was talking to an author friend the other day, one who lives here locally and has written some 60 novels and is an in-demand speaker, particularly at women’s conferences. I told her I was nervous about this. Here’s what she told me, and I like it: Prepare, prepare, prepare. Practice. Know your main points and what you want to say. Then, put your notes away and speak from your heart.
I probably won’t put my notes “away”. Maybe behind me, where I can grab them like a life preserver if I need to.
I think one more thing I could add to the list of never-do’s is don’t eat spinach right before you get up to speak. Could be problematic.
🙂
Good one, Deb. That’s why Popeye didn’t make it as a speaker.
I’ve given note-less presentations by putting together an outline of main points and using a visual memory trick to link them together, so I know them in order. That’s another topic, but it’s fun.
Oh…do tell!!
Man, I was so bad at this when I started out. Gawd, I cringe thinking about what I put audiences through. But you know, you do get better if you keep at it. I do really well with Powerpoint. The slides become my “cue cards” and I practice using them to make each point. And geez, don’t stand there and READ what is on each slide. Let the audience digest each slide and keep moving. I also encourage folks to ask questions DURING the presentation. It often makes for good dialog I hadn’t anticipated.
Yes! Slides as cue cards. And you can see “presenter notes” if need me, which is okay, since the audience will be looking at the slide.
Since I’m late to the party, Debbie stole mine: Practice, practice, practice. I love the tip you gave me a while back. Drop a lozenge in bottled water to cure dry mouth from nerves. Genius!
Yes, I put a Hall’s in a bottle of water and shake it up. Dissolve it as much as possible before the talk. It soothes. I do that for my day-long workshops.
Fun blog, Jim, and this is a golden rule:
Always leave sooner rather than later.
A friend accepted an award at a dinner during a long, dull marathon of speakers. She panicked when she got on stage, said, “Thank you!”, and sat down to thunderous applause.
😉
Allegedly Harpo Marx once received an award, got up and said, “Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking…” and sat down. The room erupted in laughter.