Description should create a mood that matches the emotion of the POV character. If we all stood in the same yard at the same time, we’d interpret the atmosphere in difference ways, colored by personal circumstance and experience.

A fearful character sees, smells, hears, tastes, and touches differently than a joyful character, and the milieu should reflect that difference through word choices, pacing, and viewpoint. The fearful character won’t detect colorful finches flitting from tree to tree or the sweet melody of birdsong. Instead, narrow focus to enhance the scene.

Also, this is not the time for the fearful character to overthink with long, rambling musings. Stay in the moment.

The fearful character might interpret their environment like this…

The moon refused to brighten the path, the forest dark, ominous. Trees loomed, froze. Leaves quaked. Stars cowered in the haze. Each footstep that neared — deliberate, slow, methodical — crunched dead flora. Sweet pine soured by the raw stench of death. Blood crawled across my tongue, vomit lurching in my throat.

Same setting filtered through a joyful character’s perspective…

The moon’s golden smolder caressed the hiking trail below the deck, the forest content and celebrating the reunion of nocturnal friends. Paws pattering, wings breathing new life into the evening hours, the sweetness of pine kissing soft fur and feathers as they flitted by. Strawberry wine slipped across my palate as I basked under the umbrella of stars in the night sky.

WORD CHOICE, SENTENCE STRUCTURE, AND PACE

For the fearful character, I used punchy verbs (loomed, quaked, cowered, soured, crawled, lurched), staccato sentences, and offset longer sentences with em dashes to maintain the pace. The only gerund varied the sentence structure and rhythm. I also juxtaposed — sweet pine soured by the raw stench of death — but we’ll get to that after.

With the joyful character, I used softer verbs (caressed, celebrating, pattering, breathing, kissing, flitted) longer sentences, and gerunds to create a relaxing pace.

TICKLE THE SENSES

I used four senses in the fearful character’s example.

Sight: self-explanatory

Sound: the footstep — deliberate, slow, methodical — crunched dead flora

Smell: soured pine, raw stench of death

Taste: decomp, vomit

I could include touch (rough tree bark), but I wanted to keep it brief. Too much description destroys the urgency of fear.

In the joyful character’s example, I also used four.

Sight: self-explanatory

Sound: paws pattering, wings breathing

Smell: sweetness of pine

Taste: strawberry wine

“Soft fur” could indicate touch, I suppose, but without the character actively petting an animal. Here again, I kept it brief. As a reader and a writer, I prefer quick descriptions dabbled in here and there, rather than read or write endless paragraphs. A little goes a long way.

FILTER THROUGH EXPERIENCE

Maybe the fearful character witnessed a failed suicide attempt when he found a relative hanging in the backyard before the rope snapped. Or a bad guy hanged them. In either scenario, a tree phobia would make sense. The forest is the last place they want to be, and the description should reflect their emotional response.

I kept my examples generic on purpose, but filtering through the POV character’s experience enhances the mood of the scene. Again, don’t go nuts. We don’t need or want endless paragraphs of backstory. Keep it brief.

ONOMATOPOEIA 

Onomatopoeia words help create a visceral response in the reader. Again, don’t go overboard. Moderation is key.

Caw (C’mon, you knew I had to start with my beloved crows ;-))

Bang

Ahem

Belch

Splash

Hiss

Click

Argh

Chirp

Buzz

Clang

Achoo

Blare

Crackle

Bash

Clank

Bark

Clap

Crash

Boom

Zip

Chatter

Ding

Boo

Cuckoo

Blab

Bawl

Blare

Blurt

Chomp

Clap

Chortle

Cough

Crack

Gurgle

Grunt

Guffaw

Hack

Hiccup

Howl

Jangle

Hoot

Jingle

Knock

Moan

Mumble

Murmur

Mutter

Neigh

Oink

Phew

Pluck

Plunk

Poof

Pop

Purr

Prowl

Ring

Rip

Roar

Rumble

Rush

Rustle

Screech

Shuffle

Shush

Sizzle

Slash

Slither

Slosh

Slurp

Smack

Snap

Snarl

Snip

Snort

Splash

Splatter

Squawk

Squelch

Thud

Trickle

Waffle

Whisper

Whizz

Whoop

Whoosh

Yelp

Zoom

Zing

Zap

JUXATAPOSITION 

“Juxta” is Latin for “next to.” And “pose” means to place. To juxtapose is to “place next to.”

Now, the two can be opposites.

Dark and light.

Despair and hope.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

Opposites are not mandatory to juxtapose, though.

What juxtaposition should do is show a contrast filtered through the POV character.

I slept while you were dying.

Rose petals edged her torture chamber.

Warmth slashed through an endless pit of darkness.

Okie doke. TKZ, let’s discuss.