It takes more than a village to move this writer…

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We’re deep in the throes of preparing our house for sale, while simultaneously scouting out new digs in a neighboring beach town. I’ve never had such a hard time moving. Unlike  Clare, who has repeatedly and gracefully moved across oceans and continents, young kids in tow, with nary a complaint, I’m feeling the need to whine about the moving process to anyone who will listen.

Every previous move in my life has been simple and painless: In the past I simply called up some movers, who’d pack up my stuff and drive it in a truck to the next place, and then unpack. Finis! But this time is different, and in a horrible way. We’re lucky that we live in a nice house in a seller’s market. But, as our real estate agent sternly explained after touring the property, the Market here has certain expectations. In particular, the Market expects this type of home to be updated, pristine and uncluttered. The opposite, that is to say, of its current condition.

To meet the Market’s fussy demands, we’re using a Roman legion of professionals to whip our house into shape. The first legionnaire to arrive was a landscape architect, who drew up plans to Update our plantings. He even ordered us to replant our neighbor’s side garden, which flanks the walkway to our front door. (The Market evidently demands an attractive approach to front entrances.) Our neighbors seemed pleased, if slightly confused, by our sudden offer to replace their weedy garden strip with lucious ferns and impatiens. (These neighbors have lived in the same house for more than 20 years; obviously they haven’t heard the news about Updating.)

We did a pre-inspection review (which  gives the Market confidence that you’re not trying to sell it a lemon). The inspection report revealed a number of flaws that needed to be fixed, mostly because safety codes have been Updated during the eleven years we’ve lived here. The required repairs (which included a new roof) are being made by a rotating cast of contractors, workers, handymen, and a friend of ours named Dave who somehow got sucked into the vortex.  There were so many guys tromping through the house at one point that I lost track of who was doing what, or even who they were. As long as they were carrying tools and didn’t appear to be conducting a home invasion robbery, I simply gave them all cheerful waves and tried to stay out of their way.

Next came the Updating of the house’s cosmetics. This phase is being driven by Miriam, an interior designer. Miriam has been selecting Things That Can Stay during the showing of the house, and separating them from Things That Must Go. Everything that doesn’t make the cut will be sold, donated, or moved temporarily into giant metal pods. Miriam is daubing the walls with sample swatches of paint, plus purchasing a few select items that will Update our decor. These purchases are mostly things like colorful pillows, a rug, and timers for the lights. (The Market expects a house to be brightly lit at all times.) Our kitchen is about to become something called “two-tone,” which I didn’t even know was a trend. Miriam is constantly moving stuff around to “stage” things properly. One candleabra has moved its position about so many times, I could swear we’ve picked up a poltergeist.

 Miriam came as part of a package deal with a professional organizer named Heidi. Heidi manages her own crew of assistants. Heidi, a high-energy, smiling refugee from the corporate world, makes her living helping people like us get through complex projects such as Updating. (I’m sure Heidi doesn’t help people like Clare, because people like Clare are obviously well-organized, competent, and resourceful. They don’t need a Heidi.)

Heidi set up timelines for our “project,” and keeps an impressive spreadsheet up to date. She is researching and marketing excess items that are too expensive to sell on Craigslist or in a garage sale. For example: Heidi  discovered that a set of my dad’s old office chairs are Swedish-designer things worth about $1500-$2500 each. Which means I should call them “vintage” chairs rather than old, I guess. Bottom line: one has to be careful when getting rid of anything that comes from my family, especially funky old office chairs.

Watching over all this chaos from a strategic distance is our real estate agent, who made it clear from the beginning that she’d prefer to sell our house empty rather than with us still living in it. I have to say I’m beginning to agree with her. It would be so much easier if we could move everything into pods, check into someplace temporarily, let the professionals do their thing, and be done with the whole mess. Then we could forget about things like colored throw pillows and editing furniture, at least until we find a new house, when I guess the process kicks into reverse and starts up all over again. But my husband has vetoed moving out early as an option. So I’m coping as best I can.  F. Scott Fitzgerald captured my state of mind brilliantly in the last line of The Great Gatsby:

 “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

The writing connection


I’ll bring this discussion back to writing. The publishing industry, as we all know, has been changing at a rapid clip. Indie publishing is in vogue, and longtime readers know that TKZ has a wealth of useful information about indie publishing in its archives. I’ve watched my colleagues step forth bravely into the new world, but I’ve yet to take the plunge. I’ll get there at some point, but I think I’d like to work with a project manager to get through the process, at least the first time out. I’ll need a project manager for indie publishing for the same reason I need Heidi the Project Manager for moving and selling our house–I don’t like dealing with the details of process. It isn’t my strong suit. I want there to be someone professional and trustworthy who can steer me through the whole thing. That person would 1) find a great cover designer for my new book, 2) direct me to a line editor, 3) format my manuscript, and 4) upload it to the appropriate outlets. Basically, I would pay this person to manage my indie publishing project, in the same way I pay Heidi to manage our moving project, or an accountant to manage my taxes. Does such a person or entity exist, or is a market being created? Because I’m one of those people who wants someone else to manage the nitty gritty process details, I’m nervous about falling into the hands of the sharks that prowl the indie waters. I certainly don’t want to pay a lot of money and be dissatisfied with the results.

I know we’ve talked endlessly about the how-to’s of indie publishing here at TKZ, but I’m wondering if there’s a solution for process-phobic people like me. Of course, the ideal solution would be for me to absorb all the good information we discuss here and learn how to master the process myself, but it might not ever happen. Just ask Heidi.

44 thoughts on “It takes more than a village to move this writer…”

  1. When I read your moving difficulties, I actually was alerted to another comparison between house selling and selling books.

    Sometimes people don’t want flash and dash and the latest trendy writing. They want a good solid story that adheres to the basics and makes you forget “writing” took place in the making of the book.

    But to your specific point, I haven’t dipped my toes into the publishing waters yet. But despite all the great info I get here & elsewhere, I do think it’d be nice to have a guide.

  2. You’re too kind Kathryn and obviously didn’t witness our moving craziness:) My husband has vowed we will never move again which gives you some indication…and we still have unpacked boxes in the basement! Actually now I think about it… that is a good metaphor for my writing process too – still way to many unpacked boxes:) I need a Heidi!

  4. I’ve moved so many times, I detest even the thought of it. Fingers crossed on the seller’s market. Living in a staged house is no picnic.

    I just switched agents and had an opportunity to chat with a few interested parties. I needed more diverse services than my old agent could provide. My new representation doesn’t mind me self-publishing, but they have an option where I can elect to participate in their author assistance program. For the cost of their 15% agent fee, they help put your book together, cover to layout conversion, uploading, promotion, reviews (from offerings on netgalley), and edit it (the only cost the authors pays since it can vary quite a bit). They also work to sell your subrights.

    There are new companies sprouting up now that will do the whole thing for you, but I like the idea of my subrights being handled too.

    I know what it takes to do my own book, and all the work to promo it, but it’s nice to have an option of assistance that encompasses so many services I can’t do on my own.

    • Thanks, Jordan! As we’ve toured the Market-ready, staged homes we’re looking at as possible buyers, I’ve frequently thought that if I thought real people actually LIVED like that, I’d just have to kill myself.

    • I KNOW, right? We had the parents of a friend visit us while our home was “staged” to sell. They looked through our closets, saw all the room, and thought we were part of Witness Protection.

    • Last time we sold a house the realtor snapped pics of it with dishes on the counter and laundry hanging in the bathroom. I was pissed when I saw it online.

      Imagine my surprise when it sold four days later, before the new pics were online.

      Now, if only I could and advance on my unfinished WIP and clean it up after the sale wouldn’t that be nice?

    • I saw one closet in a staged home that had men’s trousers that were so neatly and precisely hung, I decided the homeowner must have been a sociopath, or a major case of OCD.

  5. Moving is supposedly one of life’s highest stress-events. Last time we did it, ten years ago, was to downsize from house to retirement condo. We had four yard sales, countless trips to Good Will and probably filled one Dumpster with junk that up until this point had been necessary to life (ha). It was wonderful. Liberating.

    As for your book conundrum: All I can do is sigh in sympathy. I am trying to write a new book (new series) and a second Kincaid series book while getting three backlist titles up on eBook format. Can barely think straight at times. And after reading yesterday’s post here, I wanted to go crawl into a hole somewhere.

    Which, in the end, made me want to forget about everything like Facebook, tweets and all the build-your-career stuff I am supposed to be doing and focus in on WRITING A GOOD BOOK.

    Like the moving thing, it was liberating.

    • Writing is all I can ask of myself, at least for now. Maybe someday I’ll turn into Superwoman. But to misquote Dirty Harry, “A woman’s got to know her limitations.” 🙂

  6. I should add that I found Clare’s post yesterday amazing and thought-provoking. It forced me to do something I have been avoiding — looking into doing my own audio books. (Have a couple friends who’ve had great success with this!). Didn’t mean to diss your good advice Clare!

  7. I feel your pain, Kathryn. My wife and I just moved from our house in South Florida (27 years) to a home in NW Florida. Fortunately, the housing market in SF is totally a seller’s market. Homes are selling as fast as they’re listed, so we didn’t do too much updating. But I swear it will be the last move I ever make. Too much stress.

    As far as finding that Heidi literary person, many agents/agencies are now offering full-service indie publishing services for their authors. There’s no conflict of interest because the author is self publishing. The agency takes care of the mechanics (formatting, uploading to all sites, collection and distribution of royalties) and only collects the standard 15% agency commission. The author is responsible for cover design, editing, etc. You’re going to see much more of this type of service in the future.

  8. The house I’m in now has been ours for 8 years, the longest period we’ve been at a single address since 1986.

    A few years ago I was offered an IT position with the FBI. As part of the work up to it I had to get a full security clearance redone all the way back to my 18th birthday. In filling out the paperwork I realized that in the previous 25 years I had lived at 17 addresses. No wonder I feel so tired.

    While the job would’ve been very cool for my writing career I ended getting promoted in my current position and dropped the application for the FBI. When I let them know I was dropping out, I could hear a collective sigh of relief from the investigators all the way across town since they now didn’t have to visit every one of those addresses.

    • I’m not sure I could even remember all the places I’ve lived for that many years, Basil! But I did have to answer a detailed inquiry when boarding a plane in Chicago after my wallet (and ID) were stolen. I remembered more places than it turned out they had in their Big Federal Database, but they gave me the benefit of the doubt and let me board the plane.

  9. I think I’ll hold off on moving for another ten years or more. We just got a new roof, for one thing. And I have too much Stuff in here to declutter anytime fast. I don’t see how you are getting any writing done with all that commotion. It’s disruptive to have workmen in the house.

    • Well, our back yard was basically a back dirt patch, which is never in style–now it’s elegantly landscaped with bark, grass, and other pretty stuff. It did seem kind of weird to replant our neighbor’s garden, though! 🙂

  11. Best of luck with the moving. I’m done with that. The only moving I’ll be doing is when they carry me outta here. You’ve got the makings for a real interesting story about moving. Remember everything. When the shock wears off, I’m sure you’ll find plenty of laughs hidden amongst the rubble.

    Like one of the guys who moved us out of Huntington Beach had “Culver City Boys” tattooed across his neck. They were just great, too. Life goes on.

  12. Don and I moved six times in eight years, and each move was miserable. No help from Heidi. At house #2 in this process, I swore the next time I’d move I’d be in a pine box. Instead, we moved to Washington DC.
    I’d definitely need a Heidi before I ventured into indie publishing. There are people who thrive in it but I’m not that good — or that organized.
    Good luck.

  13. About prepping for indie publishing – I’m a friend of Elaine Viets.

    For line edits, I would try Anne Mini, who runs the “Author! Author!” website.

    Anne can likely guide you through finding more help with a project.

    For cover art, I recommend David Terrenoire without reservation. He has done cover art for J.D. Rhoades, and if I’m not mistaken, Brett Battles, Rob Gregory Brown, and others. He has long experience in advertising design, as well as experience as a writer. He gave me critical help with the cover art for a friend’s music CD.

    HTH

    Good luck with the moves!

  14. I’d ask if Heidi did literary agenting on the side, but my own agent reads TKZ sometime. Seriously, good luck on the move, and if you ever discover the secret to keeping up with all the changes in the publishing industry (and doing it painlessly), let me know.

    • Richard, this is my burden. I strive to collect all the available wisdom and digest it for self-use, but something fails in the central processor from time to time.

  15. Well, after our giant hailstorm punched holes the size of baseballs in my roof and it now rains as hard indoors as out, I had to abandon that 1888 monster and squish 10K sf into my new adorable 1800 sf house.

    I’m still sorting soggy moldy boxes. About 50 boxes of books lost.

    When I was selling my $50K house a buyer wanted me to reroof. My response was, “You want new, buy new. No roof.”

    My new house was built in 1950 and I will be undoing the “updates” for the next six months as I restore it to mid-century modern. A lot of incredible vintage style falls into the dumpster because of people like Heidi. But I do wish you well.

    As for ebook design, I did some legal work for a fantastic formatter. She is a wonderful geek who doesn’t stop until the book works across every platform. She has also teamed up with a cover designer and they do great work for very reasonable prices:

    http://ebookartisandesign.com/

    Terri

  16. Kathryn, my wife says that if we move we’re just going to leave our things in this house and start accumulating stuff all over again in the new one. I feel your pain.

    My experience was somewhat similar to Basil’s when I applied for the first time for my Ohio Concealed Carry permit. I had to list every address I had going back to when Jesus was in short pants, including a stint of several months in 1973 in San Francisco. It took forever to hear back from the Left Coast. When my wife asked me what I thought the problem was, I told her, “Maybe they found those bodies on Mount Tamalpais.” Only kidding of course. She hasn’t looked at me the same way since.

  17. I’ve moved fifteen times in twenty-four years. I’d like to say I’m numb, but I’m not, I’m just scarred.

  18. Kathryn — I’m late to the party here, but glad I came. Hubby and I are starting discussions about transitioning to our eventual retirement place, which may involve selling the house we’ve been in for 18 years, sooner than later. I’ve been making mental lists of the Updates the Market will want, and I’m already twitching. Thank you for reminding me of the brutal truth so I can begin bracing myself!

    I loved the way you connected the house story to writing projects. Interestingly, I just completed such a project for a client. He’s a retired Houston P.D. homicide detective who’s already written and self-published three books of fictional short stories (Homicidal Humor). I met him when he spoke at our local chapter of Mystery Writers of America. He mentioned he knew he’d be wise to create ebook versions of his books, but hadn’t a clue how to do them himself — nor any interest in doing so. (He also happened to be in the midst of getting a house ready to sell and moving across the state.) So, he hired me to re-edit his manuscripts, have ebook versions created, set up print versions in CreateSpace, and upload them all to book sites. It was a great project. I had a great time working with him (he was the ideal client), and he was overjoyed to turn the job over to someone else. He’s now in his retirement place working on Book #4.

    I’ve always been a big proponent of people bringing their strengths to collaborative efforts, and it seems to me that writing projects provide a great opportunity to do just that.

    Wishing you the best with your home sale and move!

  19. Ya know… speaking od this indie author finding resources for stuff thing … that may be a good friday topic eh? So we can promote resources we’ve found useful. Like my cover designer Andy Nyman at http://www.brunmedia.se & such. Who what great resources we can swap.

  20. I love that idea, Basil. Since the quality of this community is top-notch, any resources promoted here would likely be top-notch as well (at least highly trusted). I have a formatting guy who does excellent work, and I recommend him to everyone. I’ll be monitoring Fridays closely, to see how much pull you have around here, Basil.

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