Lights, Camera…

Now it can be told.

Some of you may be aware of the fact that I am a jack of some trades though master of none. One of those trades is acting; I have a supporting role in the independent film LA-308 and am looking forward to appearing in another film which will begin shooting in November…though of what year, I’m not sure. In the interim, I co-starred this past April in a video project created to promote an e-book.

I have for the better part of my life been the friend of a gentleman named Michael Garrett. Michael, possessed of many talents, is perhaps most famously noted for being Stephen King’s first editor. He also, with another multi-talented fellow named Jeff Gelb, conceived and created the longstanding HOT BLOOD series of original horror fiction. Michael recently published DEADLY OBSESSIONS, a collection of his own short erotic horror fiction, and decided to use a video to make his particularly shiny needle stand out in the haystack known as Amazon. He explained the concept of the video, which he titled “Seducing the Shrink,” to me and asked if I would be interested in co-starring in it; I readily agreed. Michael proceeded to write the script, and after a few short weeks I found myself in suburban Birmingham, Alabama on a warm spring day, going over my lines and awaiting the arrival of Kimberly Heart, a talented and attractive Birmingham native who has been featured in publications such as Playboy and Maxim.

We filmed “Seducing the Shrink” in Michael’s home, using a quiet, sunlit family room which will undoubtedly never be the same for Michael. Since we all had some experience in such matters, things proceeded fairly quickly and smoothly, at least as such things go. In other words, it took us about three hours to shoot five minutes of video. Things go wrong, lines are missed, dogs whine out of tune off camera; maybe “this” camera angle looks better than “that” one, or the line of dialogue that rang so true the night before doesn’t work quite as well in the light of day and needs a change or two. I had the easy part, but the actors always do; it’s the people that are behind the cameras, getting the light right, directing,  editing, editing, editing, and writing, writing, writing, who do the heavy lifting that make five minutes of video or two hours at the local multiplex stand or fall on the merits.

Herewith is a link to the video (Rated ‘R’ for partial nudity):

 If you are not offended by such things please take a look, and by all means consider purchasing the wares which it advertises. And yes: in his weaker moments Michael is considering the scheduling of another session between Ms. Trott and Dr. Dillon.

13 thoughts on “Lights, Camera…

  1. Some really good acting in there, haha. An interesting twist at the end of the video. It’s really cool that you’ve got the chance to act and that you know Stephen King’s first editor!

  2. Bonnie, it was an experience. I had to act nonchalant while Kimberly was disrobing, and she had to act as if she was interested in seducing me. Not sure who was the better actor.

  3. you better make it a stronger warning, sir, for people who don’t understand that your “partial” means full exposure of a woman’s breasts. this video would have been much better without that, BTW, and had there been good quality sound and also had it been about half as long.

  4. Thanks, Anonymous. The term “partial nudity” is generally understood to mean just that, as opposed to “full frontal” nudity. I’m sorry that you were unaware of that.

  5. LOL…I wasn’t entirely sure myself what “partial nudity” specifically refers to, not really being interested in the nuances of onscreen buffery. So I saw enough of the vid to see Joe (good, Lawrence Tierney-like quality), but when it got to the disrobe of the girl, I shut ‘er off.

    I just watched Zorba the Greek again. There’s a scene in there that is one of the most intense, sexually-charged moments you’ll ever see (the scene between Alan Bates and the widow). It’s beautifully directed and acted, and there is no frontal or graphic anything. The “door closes” (as it were) but that only increases the power of the moment. Ditto other great films, like Double Indemnity, The Postman Always Rings Twice (Garfield version), etc.

    Would that our current crop of TV and film directors would rediscover the much greater power of suggestion.

    Just sayin’.

  6. Well, I watched every frame. Nice job, Joe. Great delivery. I’m sure the girl had dialogue, too, but for the life of me, I couldn’t hear anything she said . . .

  7. Lawrence Tierney, Jim? Thank you! I assume the comparison applies to his onscreen, as opposed to offscreen, performances. And, of course, his later RESERVOIR DOGS-era appearance as opposed to his svelte DILLINGER days.T
    Interestingly enough, there is a PG version which was also filmed and which is still being edited for later release.

    John, thanks for even noticing I was in the video!

  8. I’m also thinking Lawrence Tierney in that one Seinfeld episode he did. He was brilliant, but his on set actions were odd and he wasn’t asked back for more.

  9. Odd, indeed. I understand that Larry David used the threat of inviting Tierney back as a sword of Damocles which he held over any cast member who started misbehaving.

  10. 763Joe,

    I am surprised by this post, but not by the content. Your post is riddled with grammar errors that I don’t remember from your previous posts.

    “the fact that” never needed. I don’t want to make a list.

    Maybe you didn’t have time to rewrite.

    The video made me not want the book. I assume it is full of gratutious sex like the video. I’d rather participate than read about it.

  11. Brian, I’m not entirely sure what has you riled but thank you for visiting. There are other sites, books and videos which you may find more to your liking. Enjoy.

  12. Brian, no apology necessary, but who said you couldn’t express your opinion? Offensive comments are deleted, but yours was not offensive and is still posted. Did someone contact you directly and attempt to intimidate you? If so, please advise; I think I can speak for all of us here that we don’t tolerate that type of thing.

Comments are closed.