Following on from Jim’s terrific post yesterday, I was thinking about the methods I use to try and push aside my doubts and foster self-confidence. I can’t say that these methods work on the truly dark days, when writer angst can almost paralyzes me, but they do help me get back on track and (as Jim so wisely advises) write through it.
As Samuel Johnson wrote: “self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.” It is certainly critical to being a published writer these days. You need it to project a professional image to your agent and editor. You need it to get out there and promote the hell out of your book. And you most certainly need it to help pull yourself out of any writer pot-holes you might fall into such as rejection, writer’s block, panic and doubt. Another great writer, Anthony Trollope,once wrote: “Never think that you’re not good enough yourself. A man should never think that. My belief is that in life people will take you at your own reckoning.”
In publishing, editors and agents will, likewise, take you at your own reckoning, but this doesn’t mean you should be either cocky or arrogant. No, I believe self-confidence requires a balance between ambition and humility. You can believe in your work without forgetting the need to continually learn and strive for excellence. So how to I try and maintain my self-confidence?
- Well, first off I make sure I draw upon the support of peers and mentors. Despite being ‘Down Under’, I continue to keep in contact via email and Skype with authors whose work I respect and whose support continues to be invaluable. When I am plagued by self-doubt I turn to them for validation. They help remind me that writing is my profession and that I can, and will, succeed as long as I continue to explore and hone my craft.
- I focus on the process – whether it be drafting or editing or promotion. I focus on the satisfaction that comes from achieving ever a minor milestone – the first page, that first chapter, the first completed draft etc. Often rereading material I have written actually inspires hope too:)
- I surround myself with inspiration – from copies of my published books, to goal charts that I can aim for – or brainstorm ideas that keep my imagination chugging along. Rather than dwelling on what isn’t working in my writing, these things can help remind me on the things that have succeeded and help fuel the excitement that comes from pursuing my dream with passion and ambition. Nothing is too cheesy for me either so I’ll be looking up the top leadership quotes to read every morning to get my day started in a positive way.
- Finally, I continue to seek a reality check. A lack of self-confidence is a feeble excuse for not writing. So when I start feeling sorry for myself I know it’s time to pull my socks up and get hard at work. I think the great athlete Jesse Owens, sums this up nicely when he said: “The battles that count aren’t the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourself – the invisible, inevitable battles inside us all – that’s where it’s at.”
So do you struggle with finding sufficient self-confidence to pursue your dreams? If so, what do you do to keep (or get yourself back) on track?
I’m like most writers, I think. Halfway through the first draft I’m convinced whatever I’m working on is crap, and that I’m wasting my time even thinking about being a writer. Then I remember that I (and a lot of other writers) feel the same way at various points in the process, and get back to work.
I never feel sorry for myself, but often do for the readers of what I am writing.
“He who does not toot his own horn, is in danger of having his horn in a state of untootedness.”
It doesn’t stop me from writing it, but it may stop me from submitting it.
BK Jackson
Good suggestions all, Clare. I use ’em myself. In my office I have photos of three writers at work: Evan Hunter/Ed McBain, John D. MacDonald and Stephen King. They remind me to keep typing.
It’s like going into the Boss’s office and asking for a raise because you feel like you deserve it. How many writers do you think are out there who never submit a manuscript out of fear of rejection because they weren’t as good as they thought they were? You know that’s what writers fear most, right?
My mother was Japanese and I was always brought up to be humble and let life pass me by. “Never question so long as you and your family are health,” mom would say. Wow…really?
Today, I don’t take that route. I remind myself always that I have just as much right to be heard as anyone else. So that’s what keeps me writing. 🙂
It is an inspiration to know that other writers have self-doubt. Maybe I’m not so different afterall, just not published.
Enjoying the read!
This was an excellent post! thank you so very much!
Like Diane, I was brought up to be humble (not Oriental). It has been hard for me to overcome that and “put myself out there.”
Thanks, Clare, this post and all commenters.
When in doubt, think like Stuart Smalley: I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and dog gone it people like me. 🙂 And it doesn’t hurt to look in the mirror and see that roaring lion. 🙂
There is a distinct cultural cringe here in Australia about people getting too big for their boots. It’s called the tall poppy syndrome and Australians like nothing better than cutting you down to size. This is partly why I love America and find Australia a harder place to thrive creatively. There is a big difference between self confidence and ego mania but I remember at school feeling the pressure to shine, but not too much…now, I just let my inner lion roar in private:) as many of you have commented, there are probably some wonderfully talented writers who never had the confidence to submit for fear of failure.
While my drive may wax and wane, my self-confidence is fairly deep. Not because I know anything or am any stronger than anyone else, but because I know what failure feels like and it isn’t as bad as many fear.
Last weekend I went on an ocean kayaking tour with my son’s boy scout troop. We spent two days paddling around Prince William Sound about 20 miles out of Whittier (a former top secret military base hidden away in the Alaskan mountains and fjords). Before we left we underwent a six hour training course that including intentionally flipping your own kayak and spilling out into the barely 40 degree water of the North Pacific. We had to then remount the kayak, both assisted and unassisted. After spending nearly thirty minutes between two sessions in that bone chilling water and fighting for my life, and that of my 13 year old son, to get back into the kayak in the rolling water we both became supremely confident in our ability to safely kayak among the icebergs.
That confidence came because we both survived being in something so cold that it could’ve killed us, and we learned that getting back in wasn’t as hard as it seemed.
okay, actually it was really hard to get my walrus-like body back into the boat, especially since the son that was anchoring the boat while I wriggled in weighs less than half what I do … but we did make it so you get the point.
Basil, the trip sounds fantastic…except the bit about the freezing cold water! Self confidence is an amazing thing and I do believe knowing what it feels like to fail is one of the first hurdles. Most of the time I ask ‘what’s the worst that can happen?’ and usually the answer is ‘they say no,’ How bad can that really be? I mean it’s not like being submerged in 40 degree water or saying hello to an iceberg floating past!
I pull self confidence from my drive to succeed–that and the process of writing.
I must say, I used to hesitate to send out queries after the first few rejections, but solved that by networking at conferences. Face to face with editors/agents works much better for me than by mail/email submissions. Bottom line, however, there’s no room for insecurity. If I’m gonna write, I have to sell. That’s that.
Great post, Clare!
My critique group is invaluable in bolstering morale, providing impetus to keep producing pages, and commiserating with me over rejections. But they reaffirm my value as a writer and that the work itself is worthy; it just hasn’t found the right home yet. No one else can understand us better or provide a needed morale boost than another writer.